QSaltLake Magazine - Issue 326 - August 2021

AUGUST, 2021 VOL. 18 • ISSUE 326 QSALTLAKE.COM

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

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August, 2021 | Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

from the publisher How can this be my 40 year high school reunion? I’m not yet 40!

BY MICHAEL AARON

Forty

years ago this month I was moving to Ballif Hall at the University of Utah. My first time living on my own.

I’d received a full scholarship to study ... civil engineering. I think we know how that ended up.

A few months later, I’d find myself with a crush on a red-headed boy in Calculus I. He introduced me to a bunch of gay boys and ally girls who hung out at Liberty Park with their trunks popped open blasting music, dancing, and laughing. And kissing. It was the first time I saw two guys kiss each other who weren’t me.

I then noticed an ad in the classifieds section of the Daily Utah Chronicle that said they had meetings of gay Catholics at the Newman Center. While I was raised Catholic, it was more of a Christmas/Easter Catholic thing. I never attended, but I looked for that ad every week seeking connection.

I saw gay porn for the first time at a house party and I remember being amazed that such a thing existed..

In short, I was introduced to a community I didn’t know existed.

To think how this community has expanded over the past 40 years and the progress made in that time.

While I will see people I grew up with, studied with, learned the basics of socializing with, and got past the awkward teen years with, it is the time I left and met a red-headed boy and a community where I feel my life began.

So, maybe I am just turning 40. Q

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news The top national and world news since last issue you should know

Qsaltlake.com | Issue 326 | August, 2021

Berk, Karamo Brown, Tan France, Antoni Porowski, and Jonathan Van Ness were all nominated as the hosts of “Queer Eye.”

BY CRAIG OGAN

Emmy’s eye queer performances As in all other entertainment award competitions, the Emmy Awards is putting forward a slew of LGBT people who appear in front of and behind the camera for honors.

Notable nominations are Mi Rodriguez and Billy Porter for their roles in “Pose.” The series also made the list for Outstanding Drama Series. Bowen Yang, Dan Levy, and Kate McKinnon for appearances on “Saturday Night Live.” Out actors Hannah Einbinder and Carl Clemons-Hopkins have been nominated for their roles in “Hacks. “The Crown” actresses, Emma Corrin (Lady Diana) and Gillian Anderson (Margaret Thatcher) were nominated for queer-washing those two roles. Same for Samira Wiley from “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Jonathan Groff’s gay-wash of King George in “Hamilton” was nominated for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie.

Singer, Cynthia Erivo was nominated for Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for her Aretha Franklin lesbian-wash in “Genius: Aretha.”

RuPaul, not gay-washing, received his sixth Emmy nomination in a row for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Competition Program for “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Being gay and playing gay, Bobby

Pride in space That irrepressible billionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson shot off into space recently.

He rode a rocket to the edge of space in his Virgin Galactic rocket plane, and he did it while proudly wearing a rainbow flag pin in memory of the Orlando Pulse Nightclub victims.

“Somebody who lost a loved one at the Orlando massacre asked if I would do that,” Branson said, “We also have many, many friends who are gay and I know people who lost friends there.” The ribbon was created by Orlando Ribbon Project founder Ben Johansen following the Pulse nightclub shooting when 49 people lost their lives.

Seattle Pride A Pride event, “TAKING B[L] ACK PRIDE,” in Seattle may win the prize for the “wokest” Pride event this year. The event, in Jimi Hendrix Park, is being hosted for black and brown members of the LBGTQ community and the organizers announced, “(caps are theirs, ed) All are free to attend HOWEVER this is a BLACK AND BROWN QUEER TRANS CENTERED, PRIOR-

ITIZED, VALUED, EVENT.”

Organizers wrote on the page of the event, “White allies and accomplices are welcome to attend but will be charged a $10 to $50 reparations fee that will be used to keep this event free of cost for BLACK AND BROWN Trans and Queer COMMUNITY.” Another Pride organization, Capitol Hill Pride, protested to Seattle s Human Rights Commission, writing, “We consider this reverse discrimination in its worse [sic] form.” The city’s HRC sided with “TAKING B[L] ACK PRIDE” organizers.

California travel ban The state of California has extended the travel ban for all but critical travel to states with “anti-LGBT” policies.

The ban started with North Carolina after the bathroom legislation in 2017 and had banned travel to Texas, Alabama, Idaho, Iowa, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Kentucky, North Carolina, Kansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, for some or other outrage to the LGBT community. Democratic Attorney General Rob Bonta added Florida, Arkansas, Montana, North Dakota, and West Virginia to the list. The five states’ insults are legislation or policy that prevent transgender girls from participating in school sports, block access to transition health care for transgender minors and allow LGBT discrimination for religious reasons.

Pride and prejudice Thanks to SNL’s Bowen Yang and writer/producer/content creator/actor, Joel Kim Booster, the 18th-century English writer Jane Austen’s most beloved characters will receive a thorough gay-washing in a queer update of “Pride and Prejudice” called “Fire Island”.

Yang and Booster will lead

the cast of “Fire Island,” it will be a gay-themed romantic comedy loosely based on “Pride and Prejudice” The movie will follow two friends as they embark on a weeklong vacation to New York State’s Fire Island. The movie will stream on Hulu in the U.S. and on Disney+ Star, globally.

A release date was not publicly announced

Banning hate chicken Activists, objecting to Chickfil-A’s founder’s donations to groups opposing marriage equality and supporting religious exemptions from LGBT discrimination, tried banning Chick-fil-A from being offered in the new San Antonio, Texas airport. Their efforts were thwarted by the Texas Legislature (Chick-fil-A decided not to locate there, after all). Now in New York State, haters of hate-chicken are trying to ban the restaurant from opening in New York Thruway rest areas. The New York State Thruway Authority will spend $450 million to update the toll road’s facilities. The group of avowedly LGBT legislators sent a letter formally asking that the fastfood chain be kept out of the food courts. The Authority responded that all approved vendors must observe the New York State non-discrimination laws and policies.

Also, students at Notre Dame University have petitioned the University to ban Chick-fil-A from the South Bend, Indiana campus. No decision yet from the private, Roman Catholic-sponsored university.

House Dems repeat Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives are re-upping the request that Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency release all transgender detainees and

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HIV+ individuals in their detention facilities. House Democrats issued the same request in early 2020. The letter says that ICE’s detainment and judicial procedures are disproportionately harming those two groups, citing recent evidence of rampant sexual abuse. The letter also says that even in secure areas dedicated to transgender people and HIV+ individuals, ICE is not providing the level of medical care necessary.

No to conversion therapy Minnesota Democratic Gov. Tim Walz signed an executive order aiming to put an end to the practice of subjecting LGBTQ youth to “conversion therapy.” The state is now the 21st to ban conversion therapy for minors in some form.

Legislation has been proposed but never passed by the state legislature to ban the practice.

The legislature, which has the power to repeal the order, is adjourned until 2022.

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Another Catholic priest: Findr on Grindr

Tokyo beds made of cardboard to avoid sex?

The beds in athletes’ rooms at the Tokyo Olympics are made out of 100 percent recyclable cardboard since they are temporary. Images of the odd-looking beds started to circulate on social media, leading Irish gymnast Paul Chelimo to joke, “Beds to be installed in Tokyo Olympic Village will be made of cardboard. This is aimed at avoiding intimacy among athletes.”

Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan took to video to set the record straight. “‘Anti-sex’ beds at the Olympics,” he wrote, sharing a shirtless video of himself jumping on his bed to show just how much weight the cardboard sleepers can withstand.

While traveling on assignment for the U.S. bishops’ conference, a high-ranking Catholic priest apparently spent an awful lot of time chatting with guys on Grindr, visiting unfamiliar neighborhoods, hanging out at gay bars, and going to at least one gay bathhouse during a trip to Las Vegas.

“In order to avoid becoming a distraction to the operations and ongoing work of the Conference, Monsignor [Burrill] has resigned effective immediately,” read a statement by the president of the conference.

JK Rowling says trans activists want to rape her Noted transphobe J.K. Rowling is terrified for her safety after being targeted by an angry mob of anonymous Twitter trolls. In a tweet, the billionaire author wrote, “Yes, but now hundreds of trans activists have threatened to beat, rape, assassinate and bomb me.” The alleged threats appear to be in response to a rambling 3,600-word essay Rowling published last month in which she outlined her “five reasons for being worried about the new trans activism” and said she refused to “bow down to a movement that I believe is doing demonstrable harm.” Q

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

Former employees file complaint against the Utah Pride Center

BY MICHAEL AARON

Five former employees of the Utah Pride Center who were terminated last year early in the COVID-19 pandemic are taking legal action against the Center, alleging illegal activity from leadership dating back as far as 2019.

This is the first time these accusations have been brought forward in court. Michael Bryant, Liz Pitts, Hillary McDaniel, Bek Birkett, and Brim Wachendorf filed a complaint with the 3rd Judicial District Court of the State of Utah.

The complaint states that the five were employed and receiving positive feedback regarding the quality of their work prior to being terminated.

They say that from February 2019, Moolman engaged in hiring decisions that were made without job postings or any transparent interview or hiring process. No people of color or transgender persons were given an opportunity to apply, and the romantic partner of the Center’s cis-gender operations director was hired for an important position with no input from existing staff.

Pitts and McDaniel say they approached Moolman about the hiring practices in March, 2019, and Moolman denied Pitts a requested pay raise eight months later, telling her she “wasn’t a team player” because of the complaint.

Pitts told a newly hired human resources company about Moolman’s comment about his reasons for not giving her a raise and was told such a motive would be considered retaliation.

In December 2019, Pitts said every manager at the Pride Center received a merit raise except her.

At that time, according to the complaint, the Center had no performance appraisal process or system in place, and no such appraisals had occurred.

The complainants also said Moolman was hiring cis-gender white males to do contract work while reducing the hours of transgender and non-binary employees.

Pitts and McDaniel said that their repeated attempts to talk to the Center’s executive board or the board of directors were denied.

On April 30, ten employees of the

Center were terminated as the Center was forced to close and cancel the Utah Pride Festival.

The Center, however, had received a $166,100 Payroll Protection Program loan. At the time, Center leaders said the loans were so confusing that they determined to send the money back so as not to incur debt. That loan has since been forgiven by the Small Business Administration.

On June 10, Bryant, McDaniel, and Birkett were terminated because of, the Pride Center stated, lack of funds.

The Center applied for and received a second PPP loan in the amount of $153,845 in February of this year. Shortly after, according to the complaint, substantial raises were granted to Moolman, John Johnson, and Jonathan Faulk, all white, cis-gender men.

PRIDE CENTER RESPONSE Center leaders released a statement after the complaint was filed saying they could not respond to questions.

“Due to the legal proceedings that have been initiated, the Utah Pride Center will not and cannot comment on the specific allegations in the lawsuit. Our Center will make the following points and restate the previous public positions: “1. The Board of Directors of the Utah Pride Center support and are proud of the work done by the Utah Pride Center staff and the Executive Director, Dr. Robert Moolman. They stand by the staff, the Executive Director, and the decisions that were made for the wellbeing and longevity of the Utah Pride Center and are confident that the findings of any further investigation will validate these decisions.

“2. Three of the named plaintiffs in the current lawsuit filed these same claims of gender discrimination with the Utah Anti-Discrimination and Labor Division.

The UALD independently investigated each of the three claims. The UALD investigator determined that the Pride Center had not discriminated against any of the three individuals on the basis of gender as they had alleged. Further, the UALD investigator found no improper

Utah Pride Center Executive Director Rob Moolman

employment actions to substantiate any of the three individual’s employment claims. The individuals chose not to appeal the investigator’s findings.

3. The Utah Pride Center commissioned an independent and thorough review by the law firm of Richards Brandt Miller Nelson of all of the processes, decision making, and actions that were taken in 2020. This review found that the Board of Directors and Executive Director did “not reveal any indications of discrimination, financial impropriety, or similar unethical conduct by UPC staff or management” The full report has been available for 8 months publicly on our website.

“4. Over the last 12 months, legal letters and requests have been issued to some of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit to ‘cease and desist’ with actions harming the work and wellbeing of the Utah Pride Center, harming the employees at the Utah Pride Center, harming relationships with donors and funders, and actively working against the mission of the Center.

“5. The finances and financial management of the Utah Pride Center has been audited by independent auditors at Eide Bailly LLP. The audit for FY 2018/19 has been completed and the FY 2019/20 audit will be completed in next few weeks. Eide Bailly found no evidence of financial irregularity or impropriety. The FY2018/19 audit is available on our website.

“In conclusion, the Utah Pride Center, the Board of Directors, and the executive

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doing this because I’m mad? Am I doing this because I’m hurt? Yes, yes, a little bit.

But at the end of the day, I’m doing this because this community deserves this resource, needs this resource, and I just think we can do a lot better.

Any person who works at a company who has been retaliated against or discriminated against, you have to decide, and I am going to fight this or am I going to take this? For me, I feel that fighting it will create the change that is needed.

Liz Pitts

director of the Utah Pride Center remain committed to being open, honest, transparent, and accountable for all of the actions taken. As shown by our work, our events, and our team, we will continue to ensure that our LGBTQ+ community in Utah are cared for, are seen, and receive the life-saving services we have offered for almost 30 years. Notwithstanding the challenges that 2020 presented, the Utah Pride Center has been able to continue to provide its community services and outreach that are central to the Center’s mission of support, inclusivity, and acceptance.”

QSALTLAKE INTERVIEW WITH PITTS AND MCDANIEL To help the community understand why the complaint was filed, QSaltLake interviewed two of the plaintiffs, Pitts and McDaniel.

Tell me about your history with the Pride Center and what the motivations are to file this complaint.

MCDANIEL: My history at the Utah Pride Center started as a client of the Center, being part of support groups and going to mental health therapy. Those services saved my life. So, my motivation is that the Pride Center needs to be strong; it needs to continue to exist, and it needs to exist for all people from all walks of life.

So, part of that motivation is that I don’t believe or trust the current leadership or board to accomplish that mission.

There’s definitely a lot of soul-searching that has gone on about this suit — am I PHOTO: COREY EVANS/FACEBOOK

PITTS: I came to the Utah Pride Center as a volunteer in 1991. It has been the most important queer organization in my life.

I started volunteering at a much higher level in 2016 as a librarian, and then I was on the board of directors for a few years.

Then I decided to go all-in. I quit my corporate gig and tried to use the skills I’d learned in corporate America to really make the organization stronger.

I was really excited to bring more financial stability into the organization. Through my work in the festival, I worked to get so many sponsors, and then for the last 18 months, I worked for the Pride Center. I was the development director. I started to being in more grant money and working with more donors.

I started to have more problems in the organization as I pushed for more transparency and more ethical and more fair hiring and employment practices. I started working internally. When I see something that’s wrong or that I think is not moving towards social justice, then something needs to be done.

I turned in a formal complaint to the executive director and to the board governance committee around what I saw were very, very problematic employment practices. From the moment that happened, I started getting retaliated against.

And I still kept trying. I worked another 13 months before getting fired.

The experience of getting fired wasn’t just financially devastating but emotionally devastating as well. It took me a long time to even get out of bed. I mean, we all were experiencing so much stress around the pandemic and all kinds of things, but I couldn’t stop working towards trying to make the organization stronger by continuing to look critically at the systemic processes and policies that were making this organization weaker. So, even from the outside, after a lot of soul-searching,

Hillary McDaniel

I decided to pursue a complaint, with the ultimate goal of having a good, strong, viable Utah Pride Center.

So, tell me more about your concerns with the hiring practices within the Center.

MCDANIEL: The email that Liz sent to the board of directors after being fired, I just feel that is an email that, if it had been sent as an employee, would have gotten you fired or more retaliation. So, complaining to the governance board, and complaining to the executive director and to the HR company that they had hired to handle all HR issues, just led to a lot of dead ends, no protections. We were going through more retaliation and discrimination even though we had gone through the proper channels. To me, that just highlights … any organization that you work for, there’s policies and procedures. There are documents that we signed, including whistleblower policies that if we saw something we needed to report it — we were required to report it.

When you hire people who are friends, who are former board members over and over again, and there’s this culture of nepotism, people who the organization needs in order to have diversity don’t even get an option to apply because the job is never posted publicly. So, as the Pride Center says they are trying to get more diverse and trying to hire more people of color, the best thing you can do is actually post the jobs publicly and allow people of color, transgender people to apply.

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

utive board of a company that could be hired to help fix the books because the Center’s records were declared unauditable for some of the [recent] years.

PITTS: You’re talking about 2017. It caused a lot of alarm.

MCDANIEL: So here is an example of an employee coming to the executive committee with a solution to a problem, and they were completely dismissed.

Michael Bryant, Bek Birkett, Brim Custen

Did the hiring of an outside HR company help in any way?

MCDANIEL: I think this is one of the most important things affecting the LGBTQ community is that, upon hiring Stratus, the options for gender were male and female on their [online] drop-down list. The option for your name was your legal name. So, employees who signed up through stratus, as we clock in online, every time they clock in, they see their deadname.

PITTS: That can trigger people to suicidal ideations.

MCDANIEL: Bek brought that up immediately that we need to have other options for a preferred name, and we were just told it couldn’t be done.

So the main gender justice organization in the state contracted with an HR company that would not or could not make those changes. When that kind of discrimination can happen at the Utah Pride Center, you absolutely know that it’s happening everywhere.

I’m proud of them for speaking up.

That’s what should have been done.

But when you speak up and nothing is changed, it hurts. And you just keep fighting and pushing for change.

There are a lot of people who were working at the Pride Center who were transgender or gender fluid, so it wasn’t just impacting a few people.

And another thing in the complaint is about misgendering. And if people are being misgendered at the Utah Pride Center — an organization which should be working hard to make sure that doesn’t happen and educating, and doing everything they can to make sure people feel safe and comfortable — that is a huge issue because they should be an example to all businesses and nonprofits on how

to treat employees.

The gender discrimination going on at the Pride Center is abhorrent and unacceptable and should be unacceptable to everyone from the board on down.

So, as far as the complaint in the court, is it illegal in the state to misgender people in the workplace?

MCDANIEL: That’s a question in the complaint because, in June of 2020, the Supreme Court ruled that gender identity is protected by Title VII, so you’ll notice later in the complaint. And that could be an important question…

PITTS: Precedent-setting…

MCDANIEL: So, every court from here on out, every time there is a complaint about gender identity discrimination, there’s precedent set. It’s a question for the court; it’s a question for the judge … we think this is a powerful case.

The complaint also goes into your beliefs that the organization is mismanaged financially. Can you go into that?

PITTS: I became very, very concerned about financial mismanagement in the organization. I think that some of the employment practices led to some of that, but when I make a very big statement like I don’t believe the current leadership is able to do what needs to be done, both the executive leadership and the board of directors, have not been doing their jobs.

They have not been filling their fiduciary responsibility to the organization. The Utah Pride Center hasn’t passed an audit since 2016. As I worked with a grant writer, they would bring to me things that we could apply for — if we had an audit.

MCDANIEL: So Michael [Bryant] brought a company to the attention of the exec-

After you were terminated, Liz, you sent an email with a long list of issues you thought the board of directors needed to address for the health of the Center. In the Center’s reply to the complaint, they said an investigation was done and that no wrongdoing was found. Is that not enough?

MCDANIEL: Shortly after that email, and when I brought the issue back to the board, an email was sent saying the issues were being investigated by the board and Stratus. None of us were ever interviewed.

PITTS: And a law firm hired by the Center. And none of them ever interviewed us about anything.

MCDANIEL: And then they emailed that we could talk to the board, the governance committee, or the lawyers, but no one else. We were basically gag-ordered.

We were told we were not going to be involved in this process.

So, final thoughts to wrap this up.

PITTS: There are still really, really good people working at the Pride Center trying to provide critical services to the community. There are some very wonderful people there trying their best to serve the community.

MCDANIEL: Of the people who are working there now. Does the community feel like it’s a good idea to reorganize in such a way to create C-level positions [the executive director and others added titles like CEO, CFO, and COO in the past several months.] and get promotions and add jobs after such a devastating year? I just think that’s a question. Does anyone support that, and why?

I don’t know of any other nonprofit which has laid off more than half of its staff. I’ve seen many who have bounced back and have reopened their doors. At this time, the Center is still not open to the public. Does the community think this is acceptable? Q

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LGBTQ Pride March happens in Hildale/Colorado City About 30 people participated in an LGBTQ Pride march in Short Creek, an area on the Utah/Arizona border known for polygamy which has historically been controlled by leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The group was originally accepted to march in Short Creek’s Fourth of July parade.

“Parade organizers began getting threatened and decided it would be best that the LGBTQ+ community members not participate in the parade,” organizers wrote in a statement. “Instead, LGBTQ+ members decided to create a Pride March and were given a permit to do so along with a police escort. Members of the LGBTQ+ community in Short Creek feel underrepresented and simply want to participate in the 4th of July celebrations like everyone else.”

The idea for a parade originated when Short Creek local Jordo Phelps posted an idea on Facebook about the LGBTQ+ community partici-

pating in the township/s July Fourth parade.

Local police and volunteer security helped escort about 30 participants through the march, which followed about a block behind the July Fourth parade.

Organizer Carol Chatwin grew up in Short Creek and said, “I did not think this would ever happen there. I’m so happy to be part of this monumental moment for Short Creek.”

“A lot of the people in the community are getting harassed, there is hate speech against them, there are threats, there’s physical violence against them, and it is really important for the community to realize its ok to be gay, lesbian, transgender, everything, like love is love,” Chatwin said.

Chatwin has since started a private Facebook group for the members and allies of the LGBTQ community in Short Creek. Q To join the group, go to fb.me/carol. chatwin and ask to be added.

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Orem councilmember ‘outraged’ over library’s Pride displays An Orem City Councilmember is up in arms over “Rainbow Month” displays at the Orem Public Library.

Terry Peterson sent a letter to his fellow councilmembers.

“I received a discouraging phone call last Sunday night. They told of a concern they had regarding the Orem City library. The library has prominent Orem City Councilmember displays in both the Terry Peterson teen and children’s sections on Pride month,” Peterson wrote.

“Walking into the library on June 14th to see for myself, I saw these displays but I saw nothing celebrating Flag Day. Also nothing regarding Father’s Day. In addition to the displayed books, the library promotes over 65 books in the children’s section website on Pride month.”

“I reached out to the library with my concerns. No matter your sexual preference, our public money and platforms should not be used to plant ideas and encourage children to question their sexuality and identity,” he continued. “When our public library displays these books in this manner, it appears that we as a community are endorsing these ideas. These sensitive conversations should be happening at home and not being promoted by the public library. By the way, the teens have a section under Pride month which is labeled graphic Pride month books.

Please let’s protect our children. As a lifelong resident of Orem, I couldn’t be more disgusted or outraged. This is not the role of a tax funded library.”

“Highlighting LGBTQ+ items during Pride Month was also reflective of the spirit of inclusion the city recently promoted in its annual Summerfest celebration with the theme, “This is Where You Belong,” Charlene Crozier, library director, told the Herald-Journal.

“The goal of the Orem Public Library is to serve all of our diverse community,” Crozier continued. “The Orem Library had displays featuring books and movies

about LGBTQ+ characters, subjects, and authors.”

Crozier added that the Library Advisory Commission was aware of the displays and supports the library’s efforts to serve a traditionally underserved population in the community.

“Even though some were concerned about the displays, the overall response to them was positive. Some parents thanked library staff for offering the selection of materials,” Crozier said.

Other June book displays included one on hiking, camping, and exploring outdoor Utah, one on Juneteenth, and smaller displays showing books from collections throughout the library.

Crozier noted the library also featured many displays for Black History Month in February and will celebrate other months throughout the year with displays around the library.

The ultra-conservative Utah Board of Education member Natalie Cline shared Peterson’s letter on her Facebook page.

“Displays like this are popping up in libraries all over Utah in conjunction with Pride Month,” she wrote. “The overt displays may go away at the end of June, but the books will remain. If you are concerned about these types of books being made available to immpressionable children please contact your local city council members.”

“Individuals can use their own money to fund the destruction of their own children by buying those books online with their own money if they choose,” Cline continued. “It is not the responsibility of a public library to provide that for them. Public funds should not be used on books that hurt children during their impressionable years. Children should be safe to pick up any book in the children’s section without fear of being sexualized.

Issue 326 | August, 2021

We have a responsibility to protect young developing minds until they are mature enough to understand the consequences of dangerous ideas. If this were not the case we would make porn available in the children’s section too.”

Cline’s base made over 111 comments on her posts, many with words like “perversion,” “propaganda,” and “evil.” She also posted against a similar display at the Riverton library.

Former Orem City Council candidate Sam Lentz, who came up 12 votes short in his bid, joined Richard Davis in creating a petition on Change.org.

“We stand united with the Orem Public Library’s efforts to uplift our community with light and understanding. In keeping with the theme of Orem’s 2021 Summerfest, “This Is Where You Belong,”

we are proud our library staff put those words into action,” the petition reads.

“Library displays frequently highlight media relevant to the current season, such as holidays, pop culture trends, scientific topics, and social issues, to name a few.

While the displays contain only a small sample of the library’s resources on a given topic, patrons are often inspired to study new ideas and perspectives. No other institution in our community serves this purpose for all residents the way our library does.”

“Following Governor Cox’s proclamation of June as Pride Month in Utah, the library’s display on Pride offered patrons an opportunity to learn about LGBTQ topics and perspectives,” Davis and Lentz continued. “While no display ever forces an individual or family to delve into the materials, this display provided a valuable resource to those interested in learning about these topics, including parents seeking age-appropriate materials to

August, 2021 |

Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

support them through uncertain conversations with their children.

“Depression and suicide rates in Utah are among the highest in the nation, particularly among our youth. We need to be better at cultivating a climate of inclusion, at extending a hand of friendship—especially to those who feel isolated or marginalized.

LGBTQ residents are among the most vulnerable, and we need to do more than simply tolerate our differences. To develop empathy, we must first seek to understand.

“Every July Utah celebrates the pioneers who fled here to escape various forms of persecution and bigotry. With that heritage, one might expect our culture to be particularly sensitive to the persistent challenges faced by marginalized populations. For a sense of belonging, we each need to feel loved and respected. We need to feel like our unique identity is valued, even when our perspectives and opinions differ.

“As we consider how to respond to those who perpetuate bigotry and exclusion in our community, let us ask

ourselves, “Am I also casting stones of hatred and intolerance? Am I watching in silence from the sidelines?

Or am I stepping forward to support and comfort those in need?”

“Our hope, plea, and expectation is that our community—especially those to whom we look for leadership—will choose the latter. That Orem will truly be a place where all feel welcome, that they belong. That members of this Council will use your platform to express love and understanding, rather than disgust and outrage. That each of us will use this moment to reflect on how we can better learn from and appreciate those with life experiences and perspectives different than our own.”

At press time the petition had gathered 1,737 signatures.

The petition can be seen at chng.it/d8K92W9Jps On June 1, Gov. Spencer Cox signed a proclamation declaring June as Pride Month, stating, “Here in Utah, we strive to create a culture of hope, love, understanding, and respect by celebrating our common humanity.” Q

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These aren’t your regular drag artists, they come packing years of experience in theatre and music performance and have discovered the perfect way to combine the drag artistry you love, with the old fashioned edginess of rock n’ roll. Q August 13, Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South. Doors at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. 21+.

Tickets at jrcslc.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

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Qsaltlake.com | Issue 326 | August, 2021

quotes “If you love this game, you are welcome here. Football is for all. Football is for everyone. The NFL stands by the LGBTQ+ community today and every day.”

—National Football League tweet

“From the moment I joined @LokiOfficial it was very important to me, and my goal, to acknowledge Loki was bisexual. It is a part of who he is and who I am too.

I know this is a small step but I’m happy, and heart is so full, to say that this is now Canon in #mcu.”

— “Loki” series director Kate Herron

“im bisexual so i can say this: why is the bisexual ikea couch the ugliest of the pride couches?? feels biphobic im going to be a lesbian now.”

— Cassie, @littlehouse__

“I want everyone in South Carolina and across America to know I have Chick fil-A’s back. I hope we don’t have to, but I will go to war for the principles Chick fil-A stands for,” he said. “Great food.

Great service. Great values.

God bless Chick fil-A!”.”

— Sen. Lindsay Graham

August, 2021 | Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

who’s your daddy

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

Summer adult reads

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

Last month

I suggested LGBTQ+ parents encourage their kids to do some summer reading. Why should the kids have all the fun? It’s a great time for parents to pick up a good book, too! Just in time, Lambda Literary, the nation’s premier LGBTQ literary organization, announced the winners of its 33rd Annual “Lammys,” the most prestigious awards in LGBTQ publishing. Here are some of the winners:

LESBIAN FICTION: FIEBRE TROPICAL

BY JULI DELGADO LOPERA Uprooted from her comfortable life in Bogotá, Colombia, into an ant-infested Miami townhouse, fifteen-year-old Francisca is miserable and friendless. But then she meets Carmen: opinionated, charismatic, head of the youth group, and the pastor’s daughter.

Francisca soon falls intensely in love with Carmen, and to get closer to her, she turns to Jesus to be saved.

GAY FICTION: NEOTENICA, JOON OLUCHI LEE In this novel the reader encounters casual sex, arranged-marriage dates, cops, rowdy teenagers, lawyers, a Sapphic flirtation, a rival, a child, and two important dogs — all in the life of a Korean couple. Young Ae is a PhD student, and her husband is a male inhabiting an interior femininity, neither transgender nor homosexual.

TRANSGENDER NONFICTION: THE BLACK TRANS PRAYER BOOK BY J. MASE III AND DANE FIGUEROA EDIDI This is an interfaith, multi-dimensional, artistic, and theological work that collects the stories, poems, prayers, meditation, spells, and incantations of Black Trans and Non-Binary people.

GAY MEMOIR/ BIOGRAPHY: DUTIFUL BOY: A MEMOIR OF A GAY MUSLIM’S JOURNEY TO ACCEPTANCE

BY MOHSIN ZAIDI Growing up in a devout Muslim household, it felt impossible for Mohsin to be gay. Unable to be open with his family, and with difficult conditions at school, he felt his opportunities closing around him. Despite the odds, Mohsin’s perseverance led him to attend Oxford University, where new experiences and encounters helped him to discover who he truly wanted to be.

LESBIAN ROMANCE: WRITTEN IN THE STARS BY ALEXANDRIA BELLEFLEUR After a disastrous blind date, Darcy Lowell is desperate to stop her well-meaning brother from playing matchmaker ever again. Love—and the inevitable heartbreak—is the last thing she wants. So, she fibs and says her latest set up was a success. Darcy doesn’t expect her lie to bite her in the ass.

GAY ROMANCE: THE GHOST AND CHARLIE MUIR BY FELICE STEVENS Bad enough the big old house Charlie Muir inherits is next door to Ian Gregg, the most gorgeous guy he’s ever seen—it also happens to be occupied by Rachel, the ghost who keeps running off his dates. When Ian helps Charlie search for the source of strange noises in his house, they stumble upon a stack of photographs hiding century-old secrets and end up solving a mystery with the help of the meddling ghost, a magical mirror, and a way too Smart TV.

LGBTQ YOUNG ADULT: FLAMER

BY MIKE CURATO It’s the summer between middle school and high school, and Aiden Navarro is away at camp.

Everyone’s going through changes―but for Aiden, the stakes feel higher. As he navigates friendships, deals with bullies, and spends time with Elias (a boy he can’t stop thinking about), he finds himself on a path of self-discovery and acceptance.

These are just a handful of the Lammy winners. You can see a full list of the winners, as well as all the other finalists on the Lamba Literary webpage. The books are also available for sale on the site, or — as always — stop by The King’s English Bookshop; if they don’t have the title you want on the shelves, they’ll be glad to order it for you! Q Special thanks to Jodie Hockensmith for all her help.

16 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

creep of the month

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 326 | August, 2021

One Million Moms

I’ve gone

BY DANNE WITKOWSKI

from grocery store to grocery store buying up every box of the Kellogg’s Together With Pride cereal and I have them all listed on eBay. I’m kidding, I did not do that. Although apparently some people did because good luck getting a box of this sweet, heartshaped crunchiness online for less than $20 a box.

This pisses me off, frankly. As a card-carrying member of The Homosexual Agenda, I should be entitled to at least one box of Pride cereal. But apparently Pride has just become too popular.

I should have known that the completely real and official Homosexual Agenda’s, um, agenda to make every single person identify as LGBTQ+ would backfire when it came to procuring limited edition breakfast foods.

Especially since I read that eating this cereal either makes you queer or increases your queerness. Think Popeye and spinach.

Which explains why the American Family Association side hustle, One Million Moms, is so upset. Everyone knows that cereal consumption is directly correlated with sexual orientation and gender identity.

On June 18, OMM, a group of “millions” of moms followed by 4,138 people on Twitter, took to the interwebs to demand that Kellogg’s stop being so damn fabulous.

Under the headline, “Kellogg’s Continues to Use Cereal Mascots to Push LGBTQ Agenda” OMM Director Monica Cole writes, “Kellogg’s has supported the homosexual community for a long time, and now it is obvious they are going after our children. As part of an effort to say ‘all are welcome,’ Kellogg is collaborating with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) advocacy group once again.”

NOW it’s obvious that Kellogg’s is after children? NOW? It wasn’t when Pop

Tarts released their Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry flavor, which was designed in a lab to be completely unpalatable to adult humans?

“To attract children, the Together With Pride limited-edition box features beloved characters,” continues Cole, “including Mini holding a Pride flag (from Frosted Mini Wheats), Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, Sunny (from Raisin Bran), Honey Smacks Dig’em Frog, Snap, Crackle & Pop, and Cornelius (from Corn Flakes).”

Okay. First of all, what is Kellogg’s supposed to do with their mascots? NOT push the LGBTQ agenda? Tony the Tiger has been making kids gay since 1952. Not only has he grown more buff since his debut (clearly hitting the gym on the regular), but he’s always worn a red bandana.

I would bet money I could find Tony the Tiger NSFW fan fiction online right now. I won’t. But I definitely could.

As for the Rice Krispie trio, Snap, Crackle, and Pop (and by the way, I doubt those are their REAL names), who can definitively say what gender they are? I mean, people assume they’re male, but that’s all it is: an assumption. Do better.

And then there’s Toucan Sam, the mascot for Froot Loops. Enough said.

“The most disturbing feature is the box top that has a special spot for children to add their own pronouns of choice, which encourages children to pick their pronouns,” Cole writes.

THE HORROR. But it’s true. Cereal boxes are the deciders when it comes to pronouns.

Nothing you can do about it. Just the way it is. Chances are your kid is going to use pronouns someday. Start preparing yourself now. Because whatever your kid writes on that box is legally binding.

“Kellogg’s needs to hear from you,” says Cole. “Supporting the homosexual agenda versus remaining neutral in the cultural war is just bad business. If Christians cannot find corporate neutrality with Kellogg’s, then they will vote with their

pocketbook and support companies that are neutral.”

Remaining neutral in the cultural war?

Corn Flakes were invented in a sanitarium by a guy who thought “exciting and irritating food” caused people to masturbate, which he called “the most dangerous of all sexual abuses.” He thought a plain and bland diet would make people chaste.

That guy was John Harvey Kellogg.

That’s apparently the Kellogg’s era that the AFA and its handful of excitable moms long to go back to.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no matter how many rainbows a company puts on its products, what really matters is how much money they’re giving to anti-LGBTQ politicians and candidates.

And a lot of rainbow happy companies have no problem selling out your civil rights and safety for a Republican who promises corporate tax cuts. That’s not “neutrality” in the culture wars. That’s arming one side with tanks while giving the other side a wink and a thumbs up.

Is it better than nothing that Kellogg’s is donating money to GLAAD? Sure.

I don’t know what Kellogg’s political giving looks like, but there are plenty of companies who are supporting the very extremists who hurt LGBTQ people. It’s not “Grrreat!” Q D’Anne Witkowski is a writer living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ+ politics for nearly two decades. Follow her on Twitter @ MamaDWitkowski.

August, 2021 |

Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

sex and salt lake city

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

Preparing for a partner’s death

BY DR. LAURIE BENNETT-COOK

Most people

I’ve encountered have one or two stories they can share that relate to all too common knowledge: Life changes in an instant. Unfortunately, that instant usually refers to a negative event, often comes when we’re least expecting it, and life itself is going along seemingly pleasant. Also unfortunate, is how ill-prepared most of us are when life surprises us with these untimely, unfortunate events.

A close friend of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer. Upon hearing this very heartbreaking news he and his partner began a (very understandable) downward spiral. All the “what ifs” began to dance in their heads and everything felt incredibly hopeless.

A couple of days after the diagnosis we met for lunch and I was so surprised and encouraged by their new outlook. As one of them put to me: “We decided to not give energy to the things we have no control over.” While not sure I could have that kind of strength or positivity when facing such uncertainty, they expanded.

Coming to the very real realization that every relationship ends — whether by choice, breakup, death, or growing apart — the two of them agreed to put affairs in order so they could live to the fullest, with as little worry as possible.

One of them stated: “The realization came to me when I thought how I cannot imagine life without my partner. But the truth is, death happens to all of us and it is incredibly avoidant and actually unhealthy to not imagine it. For if I don’t imagine it, I can’t prepare.”

With that, I was reminded of another friend and her yearly sage advice. Having become a very young widow herself she shares her insights on the matter annually

on her FB on National Widow’s Day. The list is: • Are both your names on all accounts?

• Do you have a will or a trust set up?

• Do you have an advanced directive set up?

• Have you discussed wishes for longterm medical care if needed?

• Do you have long-term medical care set up in case of accident or unexpected illness?

• If you have a big auto loan — do you have the inexpensive insurance that pays it off with the death of a spouse?

• Do you know passwords to important documents and accounts?

• Do you know account numbers for various bills, auto companies, mortgages?

• Do you know what all the liabilities and debts are? Shared? Individual?

• Do you know what your partner’s wishes are for burial? Cremation? Memorial?

• Is there a life insurance policy? If so is all the information current and correct?

• Do either of you have cupboards and/ or drawers filled with crap? Clean it out. Don’t leave uncomfortable messes for someone else to deal with.

Most importantly she states: “Stop saying and thinking ‘I can’t imagine’ as if death only happens to others. Being prepared doesn’t speed up a death date, it just makes you smart.” This resonated so much as my friends with the new cancer diagnosis had the same revelation.

The truth is, most of us tend to live life as though life-threatening accidents and or illnesses are something that happens to others. When sharing the above list with my friends I feared I might be coming across as morbid or defeated in their

upcoming cancer fight. But just the opposite happened. A week later they shared that by putting things in place they felt they had a direction and some power.

Their energy was now spent on loving one another to the fullest — and both quickly recognized just how many ways they each got in their own way of doing that. They shared the past week had been the best of their relationship as neither held back on affections or compliments or kindness toward the other.

Now I’m certainly not advocating that we should all go through the potential loss of a loved one to realize just how valuable we are to one another. But I am saying we should put our houses in order and express our feelings of care and affection now; right now. Because a day will come when each of us will no longer be here. Who goes first and who’s left, we don’t know. If we have the ability to love, care, smile, share, laugh with another — we should do it. The saying “don’t sweat the small stuff — and it’s all small stuff” really rings true when you realize that everything can be lost in an instant. Life is made up of a million different memories.

Usually, it’s the simplest ones that bring the most happiness. Q Dr. Laurie Bennett-Cook is a Clinical Sexologist and divides her time between Palm Springs, Calif., and Salt Lake City.

She can be reached at DrLaurieBennettCook@gmail.com

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18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FEATURE STORY

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

UTAH COUPLE: PARTNERS IN LIFE, RIVALS AT THE TOKYO OLYMPICS Two Utah softball players who are engaged to be married will be competing in the Tokyo Olympics. Against each other.

Partners

Amanda Chidester and Alissa Urtez were engaged in November of last year.

They also each qualified to compete in the Tokyo Olympics. Chidester on Team USA and Urtez on Team Mexico.

While the couple trained together through the pandemic, they said it would be a different game once competing.

“Once we get with our teams and we get on that field, we are playing against each other,” Chidester told OutSports co-founder Cyd Zeigler. “Obviously, we support each other no matter what, but we are on our teams, and we want our teams to t=do the best that we can.”

“We’ve had a bunch of conversations about it,” Chidester continued. “Whoever

medals, we are going to be happy for each other no matter what. It’s not going to be this bitter thing.”

“As much as softball is a huge part of our life, it doesn’t define who we are and who we are in a relationship,” Urtez said.

“But we also told each other that when we are on the field, we don’t know each other,” said Chidester. “It’s game on.”

PHOTO: INSTAGRAM

August, 2021 |

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How they met The couple has been together for about two and a half years, since 2018.

“We were both playing professional ball through Scrap Yard Dawgs. There was a big group of us who all played together. Hannah [Flippen] played at Utah with me and knew her,” Chidester said. “So I remember asking Hannah, ‘Who’s that shortstop?’ and Hannah said, ‘Are you kidding? You’ve played against each other for the last year or two against Mexico.’”

“We played the whole summer, and I had the biggest crush on her,” Chidester said.

Urtez, however, was in a different relationship through the summer.

“So, I just wanted to be her friend and get to know her,” Urtez said.

“She didn’t even know I existed,” Chidester interjected.

“It wasn’t until the Fall when I came out to Utah that things started to happen for us,” Chidester said.

“I ended up breaking up with my [now-]ex-girlfriend, and Amanda and I were starting to have deeper conversations.”

In 2019 they went on to play in the National Pro Fastpitch League — Urtez for the Cleveland Comets and Chidester for the Chicago Bandits. They also both qualified that year to be on their respective Olympic teams. Their playing careers reunited in 2020 when the pair signed on to play in the inaugural season of Athletes Unlimited Softball.

Tokyo Olympics postponed As the 2020 Olympics neared, the pandemic hit, and much confusion and consternation took place as athletes and others around the world waited for a decision as to what would happen.

At first, the couple was, of course, very disappointed in the games being held off for a year, but they had feared a complete cancellation.

“For it to be able to be postponed was definitely a blessing,” Urtez said. “I’d rather it be postponed than canceled.”

“It was so hard to turn this negative PHOTO: FACEBOOK

into a positive, but looking at it now, reflecting back, it is definitely a positive because it gave us much more time to train,” Urtez continued.

Move to Utah The pair decided to move in together in Utah in 2020.

“I played college softball at the University of Utah from 2013 to 2017,” Urtez said. “And I just decided to stay out here because I love it. It’s outdoorsy; I love hiking; I love biking.”

“Amanda came to visit when we first got together, and she loved it,” Urtez continued. “It just really fits our lifestyle very well.”

“Niss gave Michigan a chance, but it was cloudy and cold there,” Chidester said.

“At least when it’s cold here [in Utah], the sun is always out,” Urtez said.

They now live together in Draper.

Engagement Chidester had wanted to “pop the question” right after the 2020 Olympics.

“I had this timeframe in mind,” Chidester said. “I thought I’d propose to her after the Olympics in the Fall. But when they were postponed, I was like, ‘Do I keep it then, or do I push it back?’”

Chidester turned to her closest friends, fellow softball players Flippen and Sam Fischer.

20 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FEATURE STORY

“We were just getting ready to move to Utah, and I thought, ‘You know what?

It would be a good start. We’re moving to Utah together, and we’d be engaged,’” Chidester explained. “I’d been living in Michigan my whole life, so moving to Utah was a big move.”

Chidester said their relationship really “took off” in Southern Utah while visiting Zion National Park the summer after they first met. When the duo was part of the Athletes Unlimited sports league from August to October 2020, other players kept asking Chidester when she would propose to Urtez.

“A lot of our friends were there, and they kept asking, ‘When are you going to propose to Niss, when are you gonna propose to Niss?’” Chidester said.

Friends began working on details like Urtez’ ring size and when and where the engagement would be.

“We had plans to go to Southern Utah for a vacation,” Chidester said. “So, she had no idea [that Chidester would be proposing].”

They ended up at one of Urtez’ favorite places — Horseshoe Bend outside Page, Ariz.

“I just thought we were on a great trip with really close friends,” Urtez said. “We were going to one of my favorite spots.

And I just turned around, and she was on one knee, and I was like, ‘Oh my god, is this for real?’”

“She did so good,” Urtez continued.

“The ring was perfect. The location was beautiful, too.”

PHOTO: INSTAGRAM

Qsaltlake.com |

Coming Out With the engagement, each had several people to come out to before word spread. They said the response, both in-person and online, was highly positive.

“I feel like I’m very fortunate that I haven’t had any backlash for who I am,” Urtez said. “I have had some issues with family. It was definitely difficult for my mom at first. But being able to have those conversations with my mom was so hard because she felt that she did something wrong. That made me feel like I was a bad person like I was doing something wrong.”

“As I got older and she came to terms

Issue 326 | August, 2021

with who I am, we have grown in our relationship,” Urtez continued. “Being able to be more confident in who I am, I think she notices the difference and my happiness.”

“She’s happy for me bow because she knows I’m happy, and I’m in love, and I’m with who makes me better,” Urtez continued.

She had to tell several family members right after their engagement because she didn’t want them to find out through social media.

“Out of respect, I wanted everyone to know who I am before we let the world know,” Urtez said.

Chidester’s experience was very similar.

“I feel like the more confident you are, and what you want for yourself, people are going to come on board with that,” Chidester said. “Being with Niss has made me more brave. She’s brought out a lot more confidence in me.”

“When we put it out on social media, we didn’t get anything but great responses from everyone,” Chidester said. “Even people I wouldn’t have expected to reach out did and said ‘We are so glad you are happy.’”

TeamUSA made an announcement of the couple’s engagement, and the pair said it has been nothing but positive feedback “across the board.”

PHOTO: UTAH ATHLETICS

August, 2021 |

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Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

Everything from Angels to Zen

Anissa and Amanda (center) with Amanda’s brother, Trever, and his partner (left) and her parents (right)

Tokyo

Future

The Mexico and United States softball teams will face each other on July 23 at 11:30 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time for the opening round. Should both teams progress to the finals, they will play either Monday, July 26 at 10 p.m. MDT or Tuesday, July 27 at 5 a.m. MDT.

The couple is happy to be in Utah.

“We were shocked at how big the gay community is in Salt Lake,” Urtez said.

“There are pride flags in so many neighborhoods, and that is great to see.”

As far as joining the local LGBTQ softball league, Urtez said “We’ll find them when we retire.” Q

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22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

In Full Bloom Trans actress and Sports Illustrated model Leyna Bloom is changing the game for trans women of color

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Leyna Bloom

made a splash this year for being the first Black and Asian openly trans woman to be featured in the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, which came out in July.

But even before reaching that historical milestone, the 27-year-old Chicago native was changing the game both on the runway and on the screen.

In 2019, Bloom was the only transgender woman of color to walk Paris Fashion Week in 2019 at the Tommy Hilfiger x Zendaya fashion show as part of an allBlack female runway. Then there’s her drama “Port Authority,” which features Bloom making her major movie debut in a prominent role, positioning the model, actress and activist as the first trans woman of color to lead a feature film at the Cannes Film Festival in the festival’s 72-year history. After first premiering

at Cannes in 2019, “Port Authority” will expand to VOD on June 1.

In writer-director Danielle Lessovitz’s romantic drama, which was executive produced by Martin Scorsese, Bloom plays Wye, a trans woman of color and “femme queen” who encounters Paul (Fionn Whitehead) after he’s kicked out of his home in central Pennsylvania.

Set against the backdrop of New York’s vogue houses and kiki ballrooms is their blossoming love. Bloom’s next film, “Asking For It,” a film focused on sexism that stars Kiersey Clemons, Ezra Miller, Vanessa Hudgens and Gabourey Sidibe, will premiere this summer at the Tribeca Film Festival. The actress can also be seen as ballroom figure Pretentia Khan in the third and (allegedly) final season of Ryan Murphy’s “Pose.”

During our recent conversation, the rising trans vanguard got emotional reflecting on making Cannes Film Festival

history with “Port Authority.” Bloom also talked about drawing on legendary house mother Carmen Xtravaganza for her role on “Pose,” her dashed dreams of being in the Navy like her father, and being celebrated for her groundbreaking Sports Illustrated shoot.

When were you first interested in acting and modeling? My great-grandmother was a model. My grandmother and my auntie, her daughters were both models.

And my auntie was a dancer; she danced for Sammy Davis Jr. So dance and performing have always been in my blood.

I come from two backgrounds, Nigerian and Filipino, which has a very rich background full of dance. So my ancestry and my creativity is all inside my body asking to be released constantly.

Acting has kind of always been kind of part of the plan, just like, “When am I gonna get there, and what script and what project will be the best project for that PHOTO: ELENA KOSHARNY

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opportunity?” When “Port Authority” arrived, it was right on time because it was just a dream opportunity to play that character because it is literally the voice and the story of so many trans bodies. So, I’m glad that that was the first opportunity given to me to show the world the future.

“Port Authority” is the first film in Cannes Film Festival’s 72-year history to feature a trans woman of color in a lead role. How do you feel knowing that? To be able to do something like this, which is my ancestors’ wildest dreams, is truly monumental.

Why has it taken so long? And what can we do with this moment to make sure that it doesn’t take that long for the next person? That’s where my mind is always going to be wrapped up in. Because I may be the first, but I will not be the last. I think it’s just powerful because just 72 years ago, Black and brown bodies and queer bodies were nonexistent in this space. I think it’s just... I don’t know. I’m getting so emotional thinking about this.

Who are some of the people who paved the way for you to feel comfortable to be who you are? A lot of beautiful women.

Carmen Xtravaganza. Halle Berry. Tyra Banks. Tracey “Africa” (Norman). You know, Tyra Banks was the first woman of color to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, so I’m standing on her shoulders.

It’s very powerful and I’m so happy that (“Port Authority,” a story about) love was the first reason why we made history. It wasn’t about war, it wasn’t about pain. It was about love. It was a love story that made history about two people, (featuring

a) trans woman, that has been missing in society. That is why it is so important, and that is why we need to continue having more moments like this.

How much of your own ballroom experience is the experience of your character, Wye, in “Port Authority”? My experience is very similar. Wye’s character comes from a ballroom family where she is getting ready for balls and she is helping her family get ready for balls. Paul’s character is actually helping her get ready for balls, so that is very familiar to my lifestyle over the years. I’ve been (doing) ballroom since I was 15 years old, so I’ve gotten ready for many balls and prepared myself for many different competitions through the circuit. It’s very real, it’s very raw, and I love that Danielle wanted to just bring that authenticity to the film.

I chuckled at the line, “I mean, you could be a model or something,” which Paul says to Wye after she tells him that she was in the Navy. Was that based on your own real-life experience? My dad was actually in the military. He was a Marine. I was raised in that environment, I was raised around my dad and us living on base, and us traveling to many different bases around the world, and officially being a Marine brat. That was something that we wanted to add to the character. I also wanted to be in the Navy at one point in my life, but because I am trans and because the system is not set up for me to serve my country, I could not do that. So I thought that was a beautiful little piece of nuance.

How did ballroom culture shape who you are today? Ballroom just allowed me to see myself in my rawest state and understand that if I wanted to change, it’s up to me; it’s not up to anyone else. Ballroom is a place where you can find harmony in yourself, in your community. Where you can feel the vibrations of the people that are feeling the pain that you’re feeling and can heal together because of that. So ballroom holds lots of raw energy and power that the world has been exploring at a very small rate. But now ballroom is going to homes around the world, and people are redefining the ideas about themselves and what’s around them.

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24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | Q&A

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Issue 326 | August, 2021

I hit up these women to acknowledge that, “I’m doing this because you allowed me to see something that changed my life, that now I can be a part of, and I would not be able to do it if it wasn’t for you.” And (Tyra) acknowledged me. We’re texting here and there, and she’s sending me words of affirmation, and I’m moving to Paris soon. She’s like, “Oh, that’s where I was at; my career started in Paris.” So she’s a huge inspiration of mine, but she’s also a mentor, and you know, like a mommy also. I’m one of her babies. (Laughs.)

As for “Pose,” were you a fan of the series before you starred in it? I actually auditioned for “Pose,” and a lot of my friends on the show auditioned and got the part.

I was a huge fan of any project that was about Black and brown trans women being the centerpiece of the glory of television. So, I’m a huge fan of that show, and I’m so happy I got a chance to be a part of (this) last season.

How would you describe your character, Pretentia, and what was it like embodying her? I have so many ideas about her character. Pretentia is kind of like Carmen Xtravaganza, this amazing ballroom icon woman that is Spanish and Black African, and she just inspired me growing up. I wanted to just really bring Carmen back to life through Pretentia. She’s just a combination of a lot of different strong women that I just grew up loving. She reminds me a lot of Sharon Stone. She had a lot of really strong alpha characters, and I wanted to bring that to Pretentia.

Tyra Banks has been such a huge supporter of yours. How important is it to have

prominent cis people, like Tyra Banks, lift up the trans community? And what does it mean for you to have people like Tyra in your corner? Honestly, it’s full circle for me. I was that kid that was watching “America’s Next Top Model” first season, jotting notes to use in my everyday life.

Tyra was this woman that was giving us access to free information about her lived experience. And, to one day be aligned in some way, shape or form — aligned to what she has created — is truly powerful.

And for her to acknowledge that is even more powerful.

I grew up reading Sports Illustrated, and knowing that Tyra was on the cover many times was truly powerful for me as a young trans woman. Seeing a beautiful Black woman that was full bust — big smile, beautiful personality, in tune with her femininity — was really powerful for me to see. When I did Sports Illustrated and it was announced, I immediately hit her up to acknowledge her as like, “I would not be here if it wasn’t for you,” like I did when I did “Pose.” I hit up those women that I told you (about): Carmen, Tracey “Africa.”

Who else reached out to you acknowledging how big of a deal your Sports Illustrated shoot was? So many people hit me up.

People from all different walks of life.

A lot of white men reached out to me, and not fetishizing or sexualizing me but acknowledging the fact that the world is changing and the decisions that Sports Illustrated is making allow me to not only just be a part of Sports Illustrated but to tell my story through them. (It) was truly monumental for them. They acknowledge that the world needs to change, and why has it taken so long? A huge, prominent person in sports, (NBA star Dwyane) Wade, who is also from Chicago, reached out to me and congratulated me, sent me some bottles of wine — shout out to D-Wade! He’s raising a young trans daughter, and it was just truly powerful to know that the world is really changing in this moment.

What do you think it will feel like when you get your hands on a physical copy of the magazine? I just… I honestly, oh my… even seeing a billboard of me anywhere just gives me chills. Because that was part of my vision board, you know? I would go to these places and see these billboards and just dream that one day that could be

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me. So the idea that there’s a magazine that’s on the level of Sports Illustrated that is acknowledging my life and what I do in this world with my life, wants me to be something, or sees something inside of me, that’s just truly powerful to me. This new generation of people, you ask them the names, you tell them the stories, and it doesn’t really click with them. But for me, who comes from that era of understanding before social media how powerful these spaces are, it’s just out of this world. I just pinch myself every time.

When it comes to trans women of color leveling the playing field both in and out of Hollywood, what’s next? What do you want to see leveled up next for trans women of color? I want to see education level up. I think it’s important for me to pass on information just like information was passed onto me. Since we are in a PHOTO: KIM GERONIMO

time when education is always going to be a powerful tool, I definitely want to see how I can work in that environment, whether it’s me opening my own school or building a curriculum in a school to develop some type of information and data so people like me can have resources that I didn’t have when I was growing up.

Fabby Award Winner

What’s next for you? One of my mentors, Carmen Xtravaganza, I’m writing her story.

That was one thing she wants to leave on this Earth: just information and ideas and wisdom, and I want to put it in a book. After I write her book, I’m going to be writing my own book. Q This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. Chris Azzopardi is the Editorial Director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé.

His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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26 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Qsaltlake.com |

12 years later: Sigourney Weaver reflects on ‘Prayers for Bobby’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Sigourney

Weaver almost didn’t make it to Michigan to film “Prayers for Bobby.” In fact, the star of “Ghostbusters” and “Alien” didn’t think she could even make time to shoot the TV drama, which has resonated deeply with LGBTQ+ audiences everywhere since it premiered on Lifetime in 2009.

At the time, the actress had another job, and her daughter was about to graduate from high school. But Weaver couldn’t say no once she read the Lambda Literary Award-nominated book — a harrowing and inspiring true story, written by out journalist Leroy Aarons — and Katie Ford’s script about the real-life Mary Griffith, a Christian woman who becomes a devout LGBTQ+ crusader after her gay teenage son, whom she once vehemently condemned, commits suicide. (Griffith died just last year at the age of 85.)

In addition to portraying Griffith, Weaver also co-produced “Prayers for Bobby” alongside executive producers Daniel Sladek, Chris Taaffe and David Permut, who had been trying to get the film made for 11 years before it finally aired on Lifetime.

“I just felt it was so important,” Weaver told me when we spoke in June 2008, during a break from shooting.

“Prayers for Bobby” has gone on to be screened globally, at festivals, conferences, universities and faith-based organizations. It was even, by invitation of European Union Parliament then-Vice President Ulrike Lunacek, screened by members of Parliament

PHOTO: LIFETIME / BEN MARK HOLZBERG

on International Day Against Homophobia in 2015. To this day, both PFLAG National and the Trevor Project consider the film a valuable educational tool. As for Weaver, in addition to receiving Emmy, Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild nominations, she was honored with the Trevor Life Award from The Trevor Project for her participation in the film.

An encore presentation of “Prayers for Bobby” is available to watch during Pride season on Lifetime on demand for cable subscribers. The movie is streamable through the end of July.

Without her even saying it, it’s clear the film is still important to the veteran actress, who tells me at the onset of our conversation that she’s “really glad” we get to reconnect about the film 12 years after its premiere. During our interview, Weaver talked about why she considers “Prayers for Bobby” one of the most significant films she’s ever made.

It means a lot that you’d take time out to talk about this movie still, after all these years. Well, unfortunately, it’s still as relevant as ever. Maybe even more so during this weird year where they’re trying to pass so many anti-LGBTQ laws. They need to see the movie. (Laughs.)

Well, recently in Michigan, Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed an executive order that will bar state or federal funds to be used for conversion therapy in the state. I read that. I’m so shocked that conversion therapy was being done in Michigan, which I think of as a very

Issue 326 | August, 2021

(laughs) sophisticated place. And even state funds were being used to conduct conversion therapy against teenagers, which is heartbreaking because I believe that the attempted suicide rate for kids who have been through that is higher, understandably. I think that after this COVID year where there was so much more isolation for LGBTQ youth, it’s really the opposite of what one would hope would happen this year.

The governor’s executive order, though, is a positive step forward. Hopefully, other leaders follow in her footsteps. Very positive. I hope it’s being picked up all over, you know?

Because good for her. Start banning conversion therapy instead of banning LGBTQ youth from sports teams and bathrooms.

I had such an emotional response the first time I saw “Prayers for Bobby.” I rewatched it two nights ago and felt it just the way I felt it 12 years ago, which is to say that I was just in a puddle of tears the whole time. As a gay man, it hurts so much to see a young gay person in pain. The irony is that when Mary Griffith was conducting her campaign against her own child, she was also in terrible pain. So this whole business of trying to keep people from being who they are is such a pointless exercise for everybody. I mean, part of the point of doing this movie for me was this idea that you watch it as a family, and it just prepares you to tell your story to your parents.

I bet when you made the movie 12 years ago, you didn’t realize that you’d be talking about it every June for Pride Month, but it sure seems that way. Yeah, and I’m glad because I think it’s taken the producers quite a bit of work to continue to get the movie out there. It wasn’t shown enough when we first did it, and I think they’re constantly

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working on showing it all over the world.

Every time Pride Month rolls around, I wish we could show it more than once, but at least it’s playing on Lifetime and that’s great. I don’t know if it’s available on Netflix or on any of those other venues. I’ve never looked. Do you know?

It seems to be available on YouTube, at least.

It should be available on Prime, that’s ridiculous.

You thanked the state of Michigan in your GLAAD acceptance speech when the movie won for Outstanding TV Movie or Miniseries.

Why was Michigan important to the filming of this movie for you? Michigan really gave the film a home, and Michigan is an interesting place because I feel like it has very strong political sides there. And what I felt about the production of “Prayers for Bobby” is that we had a lot of crew from Michigan. We were in a very kind of upscale neighborhood shooting, and I felt everyone that I came across seemed to be there for a personal reason, fighting for the same thing.

You know, a crew member would have a member of the family or a good friend who was LGBTQ. Everyone was trying to make a movie that would help in some way. And I felt that also about just where we were in Michigan, even though it has this reputation, I guess, of being a very corporate state. It’s such a complex place, Michigan. (Laughs.) We just had the best reception there. I imagine there were states that probably didn’t want us to shoot there. And I think it would still be the same, unfortunately.

Did shooting in Midwestern Michigan towns that aren’t all that big provide the film with benefits that maybe shooting in a big city sprawl like LA or Atlanta couldn’t have? Oh gosh, yes. I felt that very much. I felt that it contributed to the intimacy of the story.

Here they were, this family that was so close, and Mary idealized family life and she felt that Bobby’s being gay went against that. But I hope that other mothers who are conservative would have a different outlook, ‘cause it seems to me that even all across the political spectrum, people are wanting more recognition of LGBTQ problems and solutions. I think that’s across the board because I see these state legislatures trying to pass very punitive, insensitive laws against the LGBTQ community.

I remember being on the sidelines of the Pride parade scene that was shot in downtown Royal Oak. What stands out to you most about shooting that scene? It was at the end of the shoot, and it was at the end of the film story for Mary. Mary’s evolution was such a powerful thing. I think her being there was

so healing for her, and it was so healing for any of us who watched the story: We can’t save Bobby. We’ve lost Bobby. But there’s all these Bobbys all around us, and so that’s what Mary dedicated the rest of her life to.

I think the movie is still very, very relevant. I hope that more things are being made specifically about a young person coming out. I feel like there should be many more stories about even younger kids. I don’t even know if they have after school specials anymore, but it’s a very good subject for an after school special.

Daniel made a real effort to shoot in as many naturally gay environments as possible. How do you think that might have enhanced the film’s authenticity and also the experience for you in this role? There’s one place that I can remember: the church where she goes [in Royal Oak], and I considered that a normal place. (Laughs.) I have to say, I’ve never been more terrified of playing a part.

I just thought, “How am I ever going to do this? How am I going to turn myself into someone who has these ideas?” Luckily, there is something called acting that takes over (laughing). But as a mother it just broke my heart to read this story.

The amazing thing about what you’ve done with that role is that you’ve allowed the viewer to even sympathize with Mary, which is difficult for gay viewers like myself, watching somebody condemn their gay child. And yet, you come to an understanding of where Mary has come from and why she is the way she is. I’m glad you feel that way. The day I spent with Mary was such a powerful experience, because her desire to make amends is much too small a concept. Her conversion into a person who sees people and accepts people for what they are, it was so profound, so you see someone who is blind but they’re trying to find their way out of this thing. I guess that reminds me, especially during this very political time, not to demonize (laughs) the people who are behind these laws. It must be about fear and ignorance.

All we can do is continue to, in your case, put out these stories and articles about how things are changing and how much more needs to be done, and in my case I’ve just finished a movie called “Call Jane,” which is about the group of women that came together in 1968 (the Jane Collective). They formed a sort of clandestine abortion service and ended up performing the abortions themselves and performed almost 12,000 abortions without losing a single patient. It was very clear to me when I read the script, even though it’s not overt, that this woman was in a gay relationship. And, actually, the next woman I play in this miniseries in

Australia, she also has a relationship.

Is she gay? Well, that’s not the focus, but her dearest friend is another woman. In fact, she only lives with women and takes care of women who’ve been the victims of domestic violence. A lot of these things are coming together, I think, in a very realistic and holistic way, and I’ve been noticing that scripts are sort of breathing differently. In my case, I felt like my character had the right to decide who she was, and part of who she was, was that she was in a relationship with another woman. There’s an opening up of relationships in ways that I think, if we were making these stories 10 years ago, we just wouldn’t have looked at in the same way. So I feel just tremendously hopeful that we’re beginning to see just each other differently and trying to see the whole person and listen to how they speak about themselves.

You’ve done so many iconic movies, but when it comes to the impact of your work, where does “Prayers for Bobby” rank?

It’s very high up there in terms of making a movie with a very specific endpoint, to make this movie for this community. To encourage them. To let them know that we’re here for them. I think that I would put it in the top three.

I can never even remember what I’ve done when I get a question like this (laughing), but I would say I’m grateful to have had an opportunity to tell a story in a movie that was made for such an important purpose.

That makes me very happy, to use my work and come together with other artists to put something out there that’s going to make a difference for young people and their families around the world. There’s nothing more powerful than that. That’s what an actor dreams of: to make a difference with their work. And it’s very gratifying to me to be able to talk to you. This year, I think, has been a bit shocking in terms of how much legislation there is out there, and yet, at the same time, I feel that things have opened up in the LGBTQ world. There’s much more attention and compassion riveted on young people in this regard.

My hope is that every 10 years or so we get to check in and talk about “Prayers for Bobby” in the scope of the larger world. So next time we talk, hopefully a lot more will have changed for the LGBTQ+ community.

Well, let’s not make it 10 years. I may not even be here. (Laughs.) Let’s make it two. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editorial director of Pride Source Media Group and Q Syndicate. He has interviewed a multitude of superstars including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

28 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

Qsaltlake.com | Issue 326 | August, 2021

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 square. Qdoku

Q doku Medium

8 9 6 7

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OWLS of Utah (Older, Wiser, Lesbian. Sisters)  bit.ly/owlsutah qVinum Wine Tasting  qvinum.com Sage Utah, Seniors  fb.me/sageutah  sageutah@ utahpridecenter.org 801-557-9203 Temple Squares Square Dance Club  templesquares.org 801-449-1293 Utah Bears  utahbears.com  fb.me/utahbears  info@utahbears.com Weds 6pm Raw Bean Coffee, 611 W Temple Utah Male Naturists  umen.org  info@umen.org Utah Pride Center  utahpridecenter.org  info@utahpridecenter.org 1380 S Main St 801-539-8800 Venture OUT Utah  bit.ly/GetOutsideUtah SPORTS

QUAC — Queer Utah Aquatic Club  quacquac.org  questions@ quacquac.org Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League  bit.ly/slgoodtime Stonewall Sports SLC  fb.me/SLCStonewall  stonewallsaltlakecity. leagueapps.com 385-243-1828 Utah Gay Football League  UtahGayFootballLeague.com  fb.me/UtahGayFootballLeague Venture Out Utah  facebook.com/groups/ Venture.OUT.Utah SUPPORT

umen.org

Alcoholics Anonymous 801-484-7871  utahaa.org LGBT meetings: Sun. 3p Acceptance Group, UPC,1380 S Main

Tues. 8:15p Live & Let Live, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Wed. 7p Sober Today, 375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden Fri. 8p Stonewall Group, Mt Tabor Lutheran, 175 S 700 E Crystal Meth Anon  crystalmeth.org Sun. 1:30pm Clean, Sober & Proud LGBTQIA+Straight USARA, 180 E 2100 S LifeRing Secular Recovery 801-608-8146  liferingutah.org Sun. 10am Univ. Neuropsychiatric Institute, 501 Chipeta Way #1566 Thurs. 7pm, USARA, 180 E 2100 S, #100 Sat. 11am, First Baptist Church, 777 S 1300 E Men’s Support Group  utahpridecenter. org/programs/lgbtqadults/  joshuabravo@ utahpridecenter.org Survivors of Suicide Attempt  bit.ly/upc_sosa  sosa@ utahpridecenter.org Trans Adult Support  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  lanegardinier@ utahpridecenter.org

Youth Survivors of Suicide Attempt  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/  youthsosa@ utahpridecenter.org YOUTH/COLLEGE

Encircle LGBTQ Family and Youth Resource Ctr  encircletogether.org fb.me/encircletogether 91 W 200 S, Provo, 331 S 600 E, SLC Families Like Ours (ages 2-10)  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network  gsanetwork.org The OUT Foundation  theout.foundation  fb.me/theOUTfoundation Salt Lake Community College LGBTQ+ 8 slcc.edu/lgbtq/ University of Utah LGBT Resource Center 8 lgbt.utah.edu 200 S Central Campus Dr Rm 409 801-587-7973 USGA at BYU  usgabyu.com  fb.me/UsgaAtByu Utah State Univ. Access & Diversity Ctr  inclusion.usu.edu/ lgbtqa

TransAction  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/transaction/ Sundays 2–3:30pm

Utah Valley Univ Spectrum  facebook.com/ groups/uvuspectrum

Women’s Support Group  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/lgbtq-adults/  mariananibley@ utahpridecenter.org

Weber State University LGBT Resource Center  weber.edu/ lgbtresourcecenter 801-626-7271

Youth Support Group ages 10-14, 14-20

Youth Activity Night ages 10-14, 14-20  utahpridecenter.org/ programs/youth-familyprograms/

 utahpridecenter. org/programs/youthfamily-programs/

BOOK REVIEW | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

August, 2021 | Issue 326 | Qsaltlake.com

the bookworm sez REVIEW BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER

¡HOLA PAPI! HOW TO COME OUT IN A WALMART PARKING LOT AND OTHER LIFE LESSONS

BY JOHN PAUL BRAMMER C.2021, SIMON & SCHUSTER, $26, 224 PAGES

Your best friend definitely has an opinion.

You need advice and she offers an answer, though it might not be the one you seek.

You may get sound counsel but at the wrong time, with sentiments directly opposing what you were thinking. And yet, you have to be grateful. As in the new book “¡Hola Papi!” by John Paul Brammer, the words come from the heart.

Growing up in a small Oklahoma town of Cache, John

q scopes AUGUST

BY SAM KELLEY-MILLS

ARIES March 20–April 19 End the cycle of hurting by choosing not to care. That’s not to say that important things shouldn’t be attended to, but simply to acknowledge that the pain you feel is due to a frivolous endeavor.

Make time for feelings that matter.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 Whatever is going on with a relationship, there is no better time to take things to the next level. Figure out what you love and what you can share, but don’t be afraid to spend time alone. Going solo has it’s pleasures.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 Nothing is better than a vacation, and it doesn’t involve going far. New and exciting places are a good idea. But at the

Paul Brammer knew nothing about being gay. He had little relationship experience, in fact, and he didn’t learn about hookup apps until he was a junior in college.

Once he found those ap MCDANIELS ps, though, he was “instantly hooked.”

Much to his amusement, “some white guy” said “Hola papi” in greeting on an app one day and Brammer, “a mixedrace Mexican American with noodle arms” never forgot it — because hey, wouldn’t that be a great name for an advice column? He pitched it, landed a gig in conjunction with Grindr and it was a landslide hit with users, even though Brammer felt like an imposter sometimes. Was he really qualified to do this? He wondered, then he remembered what he’d want if he needed advice...

When asked what one can do to let go of past hurts, Brammer answers with a tale of his middle-school years, of

bullying, inadequecies, and teen angst, and of coming out, growing up, and not letting someone be defined by the worst of the past.

He writes of puppy-love with a girl when he was kinda sure he was attracted to boys, and how the experience wasn’t a waste. He remembers co-workers at a nearby taco stand who taught him to speak Spanish, to belong, and that “Lo siento” isn’t always necessary. He tells readers about releasing the love he thought was “the one”; about the ohso-awkward night a childhood bully approached him on a dating app; and how to let go of a dream, and a nightmare situation.

You know this: Dear Emmy and Dear Posey can always be relied upon to present some poor schlub with drama worse than yours. You know they’ll offer snappy, sometimes snarky, maybe dismissive advice — but that might not be as

end of the day, what you crave isn’t distance, but variety. Shake things up and see what is nearby.

amazing how much you can enjoy being in the middle.

CANCER June 21–July 22 The longer you spend away from a loved one or special person, the harder it will be to focus. While you have your head in your work, the heart has a way of screaming for attention. A phone call does the trick, so hit them up.

LEO July 23–August 22 Help is on the way, even if you don’t want it. How grace by keeping showing gratitude in a simple yet firm way. A financial matter is bound to cause some stress but what you need many not come in the form of dollar signs.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 2 Take notice of something that is making you happier than you realize. It’s easy to see things in terms of black or white, so add a little color into your perspective. It’s

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 A hidden talent has been shared with a select few.

Now is a good time to widen the audience. There is some real exposure to be gained that could provide much needed help. Go out and show the world what you’ve got.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 Don’t focus too hard on the negative aspects of a personal relationship. See that we all make mistakes and be either a guide or a mentor. Though it’s helpful to make a judgement, too firm a grip can be counterproductive.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22–December 20.

Even if you don’t make it out of the gate, take time to stretch your wings. Try different things and meet new people. The world can be a mundane place, so adding a little contrast will make it shine a little

applicable as what’s in “¡Hola Papi!”.

Agony Aunties don’t normally insert themselves into their answers quite like author John Paul Brammer does; nope, he makes his advice into a memoir that resonates. Each mini-chapter here begins with a question, followed by what feels like a personal answer written specifically to the forlorn rather than to the world — in a story, really, but one that’s relatable. It’s fun to read but, more importantly, it wraps advice-seekers (and not just the writer!) in a comfortable tale that might make them laugh but definitely makes them feel unalone.

Another nice thing: this book is by a gay man, but the advice he offers is for anyone, of any age. If you can remember that there are some eyebrow-raisers snuggled amidst laughs and sighs, of “¡Hola Papi!”, you’ll have a high opinion. Q brighter. Have fun!

CAPRICORN Dec 21–Jan 19

The process you are using to find structure may have some minor flaws. Exam plans you are making for yourself and be sure they still make sense. Even if an adjustment is made, goals don’t have to stretch much.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Jump into bed with a business partner who gets you. Even if the agendas are not the same, there is always a mutual gain to be had.

Find that perfect spot where you both see eye to eye, ride the train and hang on tight.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 The hardest realization you can have is knowing what once worked no longer does. Adjust routines to match your current reality and embrace it. Change is like a ferris wheel. Eventually you end up where you started anyway. Q

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HEALTH

Qsaltlake.com |

Issue 326 | August, 2021

positive thoughts

The Activist Doctor

BY ALICIA GREEN

Demetre

Daskalakis, MD, MPH, remembers the day he felt called to become an HIV doctor: April 23, 1995. He was a college student working on a display for the AIDS Memorial Quilt when he witnessed people paying homage to their lost loved ones.

“I remember saying, ‘My job is to not let anybody get sick or die from HIV/ AIDS,’” says Daskalakis, the director of the Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

But Daskalakis, 47, is not your average doctor — he’s also a gay activist with strong ties to the LGBTQ+ community.

“When I realized that the single largest health threat to my community was HIV, the intersection became really clear for me,” Daskalakis explains. “It’s important and possible to be both a physician and an activist and to work in government and have an activist heart.”

For eight years, he was an attending physician at the New York University School of Medicine before serving as the medical director of three HIV clinics at Mount Sinai hospital.

In 2014, Daskalakis joined the New York City health department as assistant commissioner of HIV/AIDS prevention and control, his first job in public health.

Daskalakis was promoted to deputy

commissioner of disease control in 2017.

During his three years in that role, he led NYC’s “Ending the Epidemic” initiative and helped reduce HIV diagnoses to a historic low.

Having effectively reduced HIV transmissions and deaths in America’s largest city, Daskalakis is now tackling HIV at the national level. Since December 2020, Daskalakis has led HIV prevention efforts at the CDC. He aims to apply what he learned in New York City to the epidemic across the country.

Health equity is top of mind for Daskalakis. He plans to identify ways to improve HIV outcomes for all by interrupting racism, sexism and other isms.

Additionally, as the senior COVID-19 data and engagement equity lead at the CDC, he has been tasked with ensuring a fair and equal distribution of COVID-19 vaccines.

“We also want to really identify ways that we can cross-link HIV with STDs [sexually transmitted diseases] and viral hepatitis as well as mental health and drug user health to be able to achieve a more global approach to addressing syndemics,” he explains.

Daskalakis also hopes to eliminate the divide between people living with HIV and those who could benefit from prevention strategies through what he calls “status-neutral care” — giving pa-

tients the same initial treatment and care regardless of HIV status.

“The status-neutral framework is addressing stigma at its root,” he says. “Let’s not worry about building a service based on a test result. Let’s worry about who the people are and what we can do to make them comfortable getting services and care.”

Despite being called a “radical doctor” (for doing outreach at sex clubs, for example), Daskalakis insists that what makes him stand out in the fight against HIV is his love for the communities affected by the virus.

“All I’ve ever done is listen and learn,” Daskalakis says. “When you listen to the community and the science and figure out how to marry them, really good things happen.” Q Alicia Green is an assistant editor for POZ. This column is a project of TheBody, Plus, Positively Aware, POZ and Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ+ wire service. Visit their websites — thebody.com, hivplusmag.com, positivelyaware.com and poz. com — for the latest updates on HIV/AIDS.

August, 2021 |

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34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

Qsaltlake.com | Issue 326 | August, 2021

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of primary colors

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to winning the lottery is fraught with danger and excitement.

Having grown up LDS in a 100 percent Mormon town in Idaho (I was at least 15 years old before I even met my first non-Mormon) learning all the church primary children’s songs was just a natural part of growing up. There is a primary song that teaches you how to behave in almost any situation you might find yourself in.

As I technically became an adult (though I refuse to grow up), I learned to adapt and miss-appropriate all those cute songs to fit my contemporary situations. These days, however, whenever I’m attending church, I automatically revert to being an 8-yearold kid, sitting in a primary meeting and silently singing to myself all the children’s songs that taught me how to behave, trying desperately to look invisible and hide behind a hymn book when the teacher is looking for someone to give a two-and-ahalf-minute talk.

Recently, there I was, in church, sitting “reverently and quietly” (because that’s how the primary song taught me to act), trying ever so hard to stay awake and listen to the sermon, just in case the pastor might give me a pop quiz on my way out. It’s in these types of situations that I really appreciate the true value of having a cell phone to distract and help keep me from creating a loud and humiliating “snoring in church” spectacle.

I HAVE TWO LITTLE HANDS

I have two bejeweled hands, folded snugly and tight.

They are wrapped ’round my phone, and they play what is right.

During all the long hours till the sermon is through, There are plenty games for my two hands to do.

Suddenly, my phone began chirping an alarm. I frantically tried to silence it.

I glanced around innocently, as everyone else in the chapel was looking around to see who the offender was. After some discrete and frantic fumbling, I was able to put the phone on vibrate and slide it into my pocket. I pasted a puzzled ‘I don’t even

know what a cell phone is’ expression on my face in case anyone suspected me. But the alarm kept vibrating and vibrating, and since it was now in my front pocket, these continuous pulsations were soon going to cause an entirely different kind of embarrassment. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Altogether not appropriate for church.

I fumbled it back out of my pocket and covertly observed what the alarm was about. The Power Ball lottery was up to $500 million. Oh! My! God! I gotta go!

After a very hasty and, I must confess, insincere “amen,” I rushed out of the church, jumped into Queertanic, and pointed her towards Pocatello, Idaho. Singing with glee as I drove northward towards the land of my pioneer ancestors.

HANDCART SONG For some must push and some must pull As we go driving to “Ida’s-hole” So merrily on our way we go Until we reach “Po-ca-fell-o.”

Instead of going all the way to Pocatello though, I ended up getting off the freeway in Malad, because I was hungry and needed to pee. “Poky” was just too far. I stopped at the largest convenience store near the freeway and rushed into the restroom to “recycle” my Diet Mt. Dew.

GIVE SAID THE LITTLE STREAM Spray said the yellow stream, spray oh pray, spray oh spray Spray said the yellow stream, as it landed in the bowl.

I’m small I know but if I don’t go, this queen grows moister still Spraying, spraying all the day, spray away oh spray away Spaying, spraying all the day, spray Mountain Dew away…

With that immediate need having been met, and a great sigh of relief, I took just a moment to scope out the cashier situation.

There were six registers open. Two were staffed by a couple of Wicked Witch of the West types. Next to them were two more silly giggly cheer-leader types. Next was a scary battle ax named Flo. She looked worse than I do after a hard night of drag bingo.

At the very far end of the counter, stood a

tall, dark and handsome drink of water who at first glance took my breath away. Fortune smiled upon me, and Mr. Perfect beckoned me to his register. His name tag said “Blaze.”

Be still my beating heart. He smiled, and asked, ”How can I help you?” I could have sworn that a glint of light sparkled off his teeth as he smiled. I nearly swooned. I was so enthralled by his good looks I forgot why I was there. Flustered and embarrassed, I ordered two Powerball tickets and two corn dogs. He winked at me with a “come hither, I know where you’re going to put these corn dogs” look as he handed the delicious phallic objects to me. I made extra sure that my hand grazed his during the transfer.

Deep throating a corn dog, I happily made my way to the car, singing…

I HOPE THEY CALL ME ON A MISSION I hope I win the Pow-er Ball, when they have drawn a ball or two.

I hope by then I will be ready, to shop and eat and trip like lot’ry winners do…

After nearly choking on a corn dog, I beat a hasty retreat to Salt Lake.

This story leaves us with several important questions: 1. Should I begin carrying my phone in a soundproof purse?

2. Should I begin to teach classes on the extracurricular pleasures of the vibrate function on phones?

3. Am I obligated to clear the copyrights to the primary songs with the church?

4. Should I sneak into a Mormon church house and become a primary teacher?

5. Could Drag Queen Primary become a new trendy thing?

6. Is mustard a good enough lube for corn dog insertion?

These and other eternal questions will be answered in future chapters of The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear. Q

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