QSaltLake December 2013

salt lake magazine

UTAH’S GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER AND ALLY

December, 2013 Issue 225 GaySaltLake.com FREE

OFF CENTER

Utah Pride struggles with financial, leadership issues.

What will the future hold?

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6 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | STAFF

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8 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

Big changes at Utah Pride Several changes impacted the Utah Pride Center this month. Financial issues prompted the Center to lay off director of operations Joe Gonzalez and director of SAGE/community engagement Charles Frost. Public outcry and the exposure of additional problems then resulted in the resignation of executive director Valerie Larabee.

The Pride Center board was also shaken up, as Jon Jepsen stepped down as vice president and was replaced by John Netto.

Immediately upon Netto’s election as vice president, in a closed-door session, Board President Nikki Boyer resigned, elevating Netto to the presidency. An election for next year’s board officers will be held on December 2.

Elevation returns to Salt Lake City The fourth annual Elevation Utah — Park City Gay Ski Week will take place from February 20 through 23, 2014.

Run by the same promoters as the 11-yearold Elevation Mammoth which draws 2,500 skiers to Mammoth Lake, Calif., Tom Whitman and FlipEvents, Elevation Utah brings the love to Salt Lake and Park City.

The four-day weekend kicks off Thursday with two parties, including a Welcome Apres-Ski with DJ Josh Peace, followed that night by dancing into the late hours to DJ Lishus at a favorite Main Street dance club, Downstairs. On Friday there’s apres-ski in Park City with DJ Blacklow, and then heading down the mountain in a chartered bus to Salt Lake City’s JAM with dueling DJs. The local SkiOUT group will be host to skiing on Saturday morning, followed by “Boys, Boarders & A Beach Party” at Downstairs in Park City. DJ Brent Henrichsen will finish Saturday off at Park City Live on Main Street with Cherry Pop Park City. Sunday’s afternoon closing party with DJ Blacklow will send the travelers back home.

Senate passes ENDA In an historic move earlier this month the United States Senate passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). This bill prohibits employment discrimination based upon sexual orientation and gender identity.

The bill now moves to the House of Representatives, where it is unlikely to even come up for a vote. House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) has repeatedly stated his opposition to the bill. President Obama has called for prompt House action on the bill and has promised to sign it into law once passed.

news

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

The top things you should know happened last month (Full stories at gaysaltlake.com.)

Illinois and Hawaii pass marriage equality The states of Hawaii and Illinois passed marriage equality bills, ensuring that nearly half of the US population now lives in states that recognize fundamental equality in marriage law.

Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, ten years ago. Since that time, 14 other states have passed similar recognition.

Vatican recognizes gay science prodigy The Vatican honored 16-year old Jack Andraka, an openly gay science prodigy from Maryland, with the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award, given to young people for outstanding accomplishments in science.

Andraka has developed an early detection test for pancreatic cancer, which is very difficult to detect before it spreads to other organs.

Adraka stated last week that he hoped to have an audience with the Pope before he left Rome, but it is unknown whether or not that happened.

“It’s really amazing to be recognized by the Vatican, especially as a gay scientist,” Andraka said. “I mean this would be unheard of just a few years ago. To be part of this bridge of progress is really amazing. It just shows how much the world has grown to accept people that are gay and are LGBT. It’s really amazing.”

Transgender woman murdered in Detroit While the victim’s identity has yet to be released, police and local LGBT advocates are confirming that the body found in a dumpster behind a bar on November 8 was that of a transgender woman.

Statistics demonstrate that transgender women, and especially transgender women of color, are disproportionately impacted by harassment, intimidation, discrimination, and violence.

First out gay boxer marries in New York Puerto Rican boxer Orlando Cruz, the first openly gay active professional boxer, were married on November 16th in New York’s Central Park. The wedding was officiated by City Councilwoman Melissa Mark-Veverito and witnessed by Pedro Julio Serrano of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

Cruz came out in October 2012, stating: “I’ve been fighting for more than 24 years and as I continue my ascendant career, I want to be true to myself...I want to try to be the best role model I can be for kids who might look into boxing as a sport and a professional career. I have and will always be a proud Puerto Rican. I have always been and always will be a proud gay man.”

Pro-gay coloring book sent to 10,000 Russian kids FCKH8, the pro-equality T-shirt purveyor, is flouting Russia’s controversial anti-gay propaganda law by doing exactly what it forbids: presenting a “distorted image of equality of traditional and non-traditional sexual relationships.” And that image can be colored in with an array of crayons.

The law is meant to protect children from harmful “gay propaganda,” so in the spirit of “fucking hate,” FCKH8 is mailing 10,000 copies of its children’s coloring book, Misha & His Moms Go to the Olympics, to Russian kids — just in time for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, or, the holidays.

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Learn more at www.atheists.org/convention2014

10 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

elections

Springdale openly gay mayoral candidate loses by eight votes Springdale, Utah, with a population of 547 and 80 percent registered Republican voters, weakened barriers during this year’s mayoral race; after eight years in office, Mayor Pat Cluff turns over leadership of this international tourist destination to someone new.

The candidates have a lot of similarities. Both are inn owners, and in fact, their inns are located across the street from one another. Both seek to keep the “village atmosphere” of Springdale. Both oppose franchise restaurants within town borders.

Both are either on the town council or had been recently.

Their only open disagreement is on the timing on a need to update the town’s water infrastructure and streetlights.

STANLEY J. SMITH is an Orem, Utah native who moved with his family to Springdale in 1972 when his father bought the Bumbleberry Inn. He graduated from Brigham Young University in 1982 and is married to Shirley Smith.

MARK CHAMBERS is a Salt Lake City native who moved to Springdale in 2009 after purchasing Under the Eaves Bed & Breakfast. He graduated from the University of Utah and is in a civil union with partner Joe Pitti.

Yes, this was a Utah-BYU rivalry. Oh yeah, and that whole gay-straight thing.

Chambers sponsored an antidiscrimination ordinance that included sexual orientation and gender identity in April of 2012 that was passed unanimously by the town council.

“Springdale is an extremely welcoming town and the most difficult part about passing the ordinance was convincing others that it was needed because the culture is already so welcoming,” Chambers told QSaltLake at the time of the meeting.

“There was no opposition from community groups or other council members.”

“I’d encourage everyone to come down and support Springdale and its local economy. It really is a welcoming and affirming environment for LGBT people,” Chambers said.

There are 306 registered voters in Springdale. Nearly 80 percent are registered Republican, 18 percent Democrat and two percent Independent. In 2012, nearly 83 percent voted for Romney and 16 percent for Obama. In 2008, 76 percent voted for McCain and 21 percent for Obama.

In the primary election, Smith received 95 votes of the 207 ballots counted, Chambers won 70 votes, and Council member and art gallery owner Kathy LaFave received 42.

Of the 232 voters who turned in a ballot — just shy of a 75 percent turnout — 109 cast their vote in favor of Chambers. To Smith — 117. Six abstained in the mayoral race.

“I was eight votes shy of winning to be mayor of Springdale,” Chambers posted on his Facebook page. “Thank you to all those that have supported me and Joe during this election. Though I lost, I relish the experience. Remember it is important to be involved in your community and elections, you can make a difference.” Q

Lesbian wins at-large spot on Ogden City Council On November 7, Marcia White made history as she became the first openly gay candidate to win election to Ogden’s city council. White, who pulled in endorsements from the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, the Utah AFL-CIO, Good Government PAC, and Equality Utah, among others, secured 64 percent of the vote.

White is relatively new to Utah, having relocated from Nebraska in 1997. Her resume boasts an impressive level of community service dating back to her teenage years on the Parks and Recreation Advisory Board in her hometown.

After earning her bachelor’s and master’s degrees (public administration) from the University of Nebraska she worked in the health industry before moving to Utah in 1997 to work for the University of Utah.

Since that time she has owned her own business as a health care consultant, having previously owned and operated a medical practice management and billing company. She based her campaign upon responsible growth, education, and community building.

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 11

Gay Ogden City Council candidate loses to incumbent He out-raised his opponent, knocked on every door of the district, was endorsed by the local newspaper and put together a series of ideas to improve the neighborhoods in Ogden. But it all wasn’t enough to oust the incumbent in the Ogden Municipal District 3 race.

Turner Bitton’s resume is filled with gay activism, including board member of Utah Stonewall Democrats, Certified HIV/ AIDS Counselor Northern Utah HIV/ AIDS Coalition and Ogden OUTreach, not to mention being president of the Weber State University Gay-Straight Alliance and working with the Ogden City Council to pass its nondiscrimination ordinance.

He also has political experience, including member of the Democratic National Committee Youth Council, secretary of the Utah Democratic Progressive Caucus, Weber County Democratic Party. He is currently the Weber County Democratic While White openly acknowledged her orientation on her website, plainly stating that she “happily resides in Ogden with my partner of 18 years Nancy Knape, a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist.” There is nothing on her site that indicates her positions on LGBT-equality issues, although her supporters page lists prominent LGBT activists Allison Beddard (member of the Utah Pride board of directors) and Jane & Tami Marquardt, who have given significantly in terms of both time and money to equality causes over the years.

Ogden is one of the municipalities that followed Salt Lake City in passing employment and housing non-discrimination ordinances in 2011. The first ordinance was vetoed by Mayor Matt Godfrey, but overturned unanimously on March 15, 2011 after language was inserted that ensured the ordinance would not violate First Amendment rights to free speech and religious belief.

This year Ogden had two openly gay candidates on its ballot, White for an at-large, or city wide, seat and Turner Bitton running in Municipal Ward 3.

Bitton’s race was much closer, with him finishing just over 100 votes shy of incumbent Doug Stephens. Q

Party vice chair. He lives in Ogden with his domestic partner, Christian Miconi.

“I’ve been a member of this community since my partner, Christian, and I first met.

In 2010, as president of the Weber State Gay-Straight Alliance, I worked with the city to pass a nondiscrimination ordinance.

That year, I watched the city’s administration and members of the city council stall passage of the ordinances time and again.

It was then when I resolved to run for city council at the next election,” Bitton told QSaltLake when he announced his candidacy last spring.

Bitton developed several innovative plans for the city, including a proposal to require all tax increases to be announced before November elections, offer equal payment options for city utilities, incentivizing xeriscaping, assisting local businesses in getting city contracts and a community clean-up day. He also wants to create neighborhood re-development committees as well as offer homeowners a payment plan on the city’s 50/50 match to fix sidewalks.

The Ogden Standard-Examiner was impressed with Bitton’s well-thought out plans for the city of Ogden that they endorsed his candidacy in an op-ed shortly before the election. He was also endorsed

by Equality Utah.

“A few years ago I was a scared teenager struggling for acceptance and now I am with my best friend in life and living a dream I didn’t think was possible,” Bitton

said. “This is the purpose of local government, to build strong communities that welcome all of us home.”

In the end, incumbent took home 55 percent of the vote, besting Bitton by a vote of 603 to 487.

“My campaign focused on putting forward a positive, progressive message for Ogden’s citizens. We outspent and outworked my opponent but it ended up not being enough. I’m proud of the race we ran,” Bitton said. “I look forward to continuing to work for the betterment of Ogden City and to make it a place that is welcoming to LGBT people.” Q

12 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

OFF CENTER Utah Pride struggles with

financial, leadership issues.

BY MICHAEL AARON AND BOB HENLINE

To say that the last several weeks have been difficult for leaders and staff at the Utah Pride Center would be quite the understatement. Since it was announced that the Center was financially strapped and had to lay off two staff members and reduce salary and benefits for those remaining, the lid blew off the teapot, revealing much more than simple cost reduction measures. It revealed a dissatisfied community, an organization filled with secrets and power struggles, and what looked like a witch hunt for the executive director.

This is a story we have been working for about six months, but were finding it difficult to get anyone to go on the record. The layoffs, however, opened the Center and its leadership to a new level of scrutiny and emboldened once-quiet members in the community to stand up and say what they believed are the problems of the Center.

INTERNAL STRUGGLE Trouble and dissent have been brewing under the surface at Utah Pride for months.

This dissension was brought to the attention of QSaltLake around the same time that the public learned of the “uninviting” of Joe Jervis as a grand marshal for the 2013 Utah Pride Parade and Festival.

It was reported to QSaltLake that at one time there were three outstanding invitations for the honor and that one board member was verbally chastised in front of the Pride Center staff by then executive director Valerie Larabee for expressing his concern that the organization would look foolish if all three invitees were to accept. In the end, David Testo and Joe Jervis accepted, but Jervis’ invite was retracted by Larabee.

Blogger Tony Adams wrote that Larabee had retracted the invitation due to the opposition of “one young gay man” on Utah Pride’s board of directors, who, she claimed, felt that Jervis would be an insult to Mormons. Upon further questioning, Larabee intimated that this episode was less about Jervis than it was a personal attack against her, Adams reported.

The “dissident” board member has since been identified by several sources as Jesse Nix. There has never, however, been confirmation that he was opposed to Joe Jervis’ invitation to be grand marshal.

Nix, during a board meeting, called for a performance evaluation on Larabee, as the bylaws state that is a responsibility of the board and one which hadn’t been done in years. That evaluation still was not performed prior to her resignation, nearly six months later.

It has also been confirmed that, shortly after the 2013 Pride Festival, Larabee and then-board president Nikki Boyer attempted to remove Nix from the board. Board members Marva Match and Ken Kimball (who recently resigned from the board), under their direction, took Nix to brunch and asked for his resignation. Nix declined.

Secrecy was key in the organization.

Board meetings were not made public, staff were told not to speak to board members and vice versa.

Problems with Pride Center management came to a head last month. Director of Operations Joe Gonzalez and Director of SAGE/Community Engagement Charles Frost were laid off for “budgetary reasons,” according to the Pride Center board. These layoffs generated an enormous public backlash and set off a chain of events that resulted in the resignation of Valerie Larabee on November 13.

FINANCIAL CRISIS In an Oct. 21 meeting, staff were told that there was a cash-flow crisis and that changes were needed in order to keep the Center afloat beyond February, 2014.

According to newly elected interim board president John Netto, Larabee was tasked to find areas from which to cut, within a set of parameters provided by the board executive committee. Larabee recommended the elimination of both Frost’s and Gonzalez’ positions as well as cuts in salaries and benefits for other staff, including her. According to the minutes of a board meeting

held on October 28, those cuts included salary, benefits, and the elimination of 401(k) matching contributions.

Following the layoffs, several community meetings were held at the Center, during which Netto and Larabee referenced an accounting error which resulted in less cash being available than was believed.

In an interview on November 15, Netto backed away from that position and stated that the discrepancy resulted was more the result of “different accounting practices” that did not provide the “visibility” needed to properly manage center operations.

WHO IS JOHN NETTO? Netto, a long-time activist for homeless issues and community ally in Salt Lake City, is the acting president of the board and, according to him, the person primarily responsible for cleaning up this “turd pile,” as he put it. Netto first joined the board in February, 2011, but stepped aside earlier this year due to a potential conflict of interest. His company, K-Nowbe, was doing engineering work on the new Utah Pride headquarters.

Netto was asked by Boyer to return to the board in August of this year. On Oct. 28 he became acting president. Board vice president Jon Jepsen had tendered his resignation from that office earlier in October, effective as of the 28th (the date of the scheduled board meeting). Netto was elected vice president in his place. Following that election Boyer resigned as president, elevating Netto to acting presidency.

TRANSPARENCY It is unknown why the election occurred in this manner, it was done in a closed session meeting from which QSaltLake was purposely excluded, contrary to the public meeting requirement of the group’s bylaws.

In the wake of public outcry regarding this improper exclusion of the public and the press, Netto tasked Nix to draft a paper on whether QSaltLake was improperly excluded from the meeting and Nix wrote that the exclusion was improper. Netto publicly apologized for the error in the first community meeting.

Nix was also asked to prepare a “transparency plan” for the organization and Netto publicly stated his commitment to organizational transparency. That commitment was again called into doubt as the board called a “special meeting” Nov. 11, again in violation of the Center’s bylaws which require that each director be notified by phone “at least one (1) day before —CONTINUED ON PAGE 14

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 13

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

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OFF CENTER CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12

the meeting.” QSaltLake learned of the meeting minutes before it started through a rumor and managed to attend, even though no public notice of the meeting was ever provided.

Nix verbally presented several aspects of the plan at a meeting on November 13.

Once the board approves the language, it will be posted online for public comment.

TALKING CIRCLES Three separate meetings, which Center leaders are calling “talking circles,” have taken place at the Center regarding the issues.

The first, on Oct. 30, was centered around SAGE and how the Center was proposing to continue the program without Frost. But, in a misstep, Center leaders neglected to invite the SAGE Advisory Board to the meeting and had misstated the meeting’s date on an email that went to the SAGE email list. The correct date was published by QSaltLake and it was only here that the board knew of the meeting.

Very pointed concerns were raised of the importance of SAGE, the fact it was on the cusp of being incredibly successful, beyond its current successes, and that the community was skeptical the group could continue without a full-time program director.

“Leadership of SAGE is a full-time job.

There are a million issues out there and we need SAGE to be stronger, and I’m worried about it being weaker,” SAGE Advisory Board member David Andreason said.

Netto and Larabee emphatically told the crowd that the SAGE program was important to the Center and that existing staff would be able to “step up” and cover the role Frost once had.

Many community members complained of a lack of transparency in the organization and said that the Center has a “P.R. problem.”

Many called for Larabee’s removal.

Netto explained that mistakes were made in Center leadership.

“Mistakes were made; visibility lost; priorities were out of line with the needs of the community; there were unattentive board members,” he said. “Since I was made president, I’ve gotten hundreds of angry emails and my phone has been ringing off the hook. But, what this shows me is that what we are doing matters to people.”

He stood by Larabee, saying he has faith in her ability to learn and grow and that she is the right person to stay in the job.

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

“You have my commitment to a totally transparent Center from this point forward,” he said.

By the second meeting, Nov. 6, it was clear that the community was not placated by his assurances.

The SAGE Advisory Board, who again was not invited to the meeting and found out through word of mouth, drafted a letter saying “trust has been severely compromised over the last year, but more specifically, no one on the Sage Advisory Committee felt they held any trust or confidence in the management or leadership capacity of the Utah Pride Center.”

They proposed to split the program from the Center.

ANTI-LARABEE SENTIMENT And the anti-Larabee sentiment reached new levels with more people calling for her resignation.

“I am astonished at [Larabee’s] ability to evade any responsibility and for everyone to circle the wagons around her,” Williams said. “It should terrify the board of directors that the director of the community center is in such constant conflict with so many people in the community. That should terrify you.”

“Valerie Larabee is not all of the problem at Utah Pride,” Netto answered. “If she were, that would be an easy fix... I have a disagreement with those who want to fire Val.”

EMERGENCY BOARD MEETING Days later, an emergency board meeting was called when a “collective vote of no-confidence” was delivered to Netto through a letter drafted by former Center staff member Jennifer Nuttall and signed by dozens of former board members, former staff and community leaders.

“The issues with the leadership of the Utah Pride Center are deep-seated, long standing, and have caused mistrust that must be addressed,” the letter stated. “It is time to break the silence of our collective negative experiences and let our voices be heard, so that the community can move forward.”

The board took no action in that meeting.

Because of that, former board member Allen Miller made public a letter he presented when he resigned from the board. He had promised not to release it on the assurance that the board would do a performance audit on Larabee. That was in September.

Miller claimed that the “organization financials are generally unavailable to board members.”

“As a member of the board finance committee, I have not seen a complete set of UP financials in over a year,” he said.

He was also scathing towards Larabee’s leadership style.

LARABEE RESIGNS The following morning, Nov. 13, Larabee gave Netto a letter of resignation.

“I’m so very grateful for the opportunity to serve as a part of this vital organization for the last nine years. I’m humbled by the passion, dedication and support of so many. Our accomplishments over the years have been anchored by an incredible array of donors, volunteers and staff. Change is a vital part of life for both organizations and individuals. I will hold Utah Pride in my heart forever,” she wrote.

The board released a statement to the media, announcing the resignation and wrote, “We celebrate the accomplishments of the Utah Pride Center under Valerie’s leadership. Along with the hard working staff and thousands of volunteers over these past nine years, she has been a powerful advocate for the LGBTQ community.

Her passion is evident. She has put Salt Lake City on the map as a national leader in the LGBTQ movement.”

A NEW DAY AT UTAH PRIDE The staff approached Netto and requested that Larabee’s duties be divided among several staff members until a new executive director is chosen, rather than an interim director be named. He agreed.

The third meeting, which happened the night of Larabee’s resignation, was much more structured and organized in a way to find a path forward for the Center.

Director of events Megan Risbon asked for community suggestions, which were then recorded on large sheets of paper. The conversation was kept to “moving forward” with constructive ways to build the Center to be what the community wanted.

“It’s a new day at Utah Pride,” she said on more than one occasion.

MOVING FORWARD Since the meetings happened, several promises, such as contact information for board members and bylaws being posted on the website. Board meetings have also been put on the site’s calendar.

Netto stood by his promise to have the financials available within 30 days of the first community meeting. He said he is dedicated to raising the money in the next month to have Utah Pride break even for the year.

—CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 15

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

Stonewall Shooting Sports holsters new leader In time for its 11th anniversary Nov. 26, Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah has new leadership. Syracuse-based firearms instructor and LGBT ally, Scott Mogilefsky, continues his work with the group now as its owner, after the retirement of group founder and longtime gay activist David Nelson.

“My work with the group started when I agreed to be one of its recommended instructors,” Mogilefsky said. “In response to three violent hate crimes in Utah in August and September 2011, I decided to do what I know best, and conducted a Utah Concealed Firearm Permit class at the Utah Pride Center.”

He joined Nelson and Women Against Gun Control founder Janalee Tobias publicly in advising LGBT Utahns to learn safe and responsible ownership of firearms for self-defense. Weeks later, in her SLUG magazine column, LGBT activist Princess Kennedy wrote of her experience in Mogilefsky’s class.

“I immediately signed up to take the four-hour class so I could get my strap on,” Kennedy said.

Mogilefsky also owns Utah CCW Training LLC, and is a veteran of the U.S. Army who served overseas and was deployed to hostile environments.

He is an avid rifle and bow hunter, outdoorsman, mountaineer, survivalist and marksman. He is updating the group’s website for mobile devices and plans to develop an online forum for LGBT weapon owners and self-defense advocates. ­stonewallshootingsportsutah.org

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OFF CENTER CONTINUED FROM PAGE 14

“Raising money was not the priority it should be,” he said. “I am determined we will get there.”

He is also confident that the capital campaign to raise funds to renovate the building will be successful, even going as far as to say it could happen before next year’s Pride.

Risbon said that a fundraising appeal has been planned and will move forward within the next week or so.

She also appealed to the community to get involved with the Center.

2014 GOALS Asked what the goals were for 2014, Risbon said “this year will be the most suc-

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

cessful Pride ever.” Netto said the capital campaign will be fully funded, that a full financial recovery will happen by Pride, that the Center will be restabalized and staff pay can be returned to the levels they were before the layoffs. The rainy day fund, he said, which is down to $75,000 will be replenished to $125,000.

He also said there will be visibility at all levels of the organization and that it will soar, operationally.

Netto sees himself as an “interim chair” of the organization. He wants to get in, get things fixed, and then let someone else take the helm.

“I want to be a cheerleader for this organization,” he said.

Meanwhile, he said he is working to make the Center what the community wants and he is listening to all of those

Better Health Care for the LGBTQ Community: 5 Things You Should Know

BY DEANN HECKER, UTAH PRIDE PATIENT NAVIGATOR

We are here to answer your questions and sift through all the misinformation circling around about Obamacare.

A person who is LGBTQ is more likely to be unemployed or fired from a job due to discrimination, and thus, be uninsured. Utah’s failure to pass an employment non-discrimination act allows discrimination based on sexual orientation to continue, as the state does not protect a person from being fired or evicted just for being who they are.

This, coupled with the uncertainty of Medicaid expansion in our state puts the LGBTQ community at continued higher risk to be uninsured. Being rejected by health insurance companies for preexisting conditions such as HIV, denied coverage on claims because of transgender-related discrimination, and prevented from carrying a spouse on their employer-based health coverage are just a few of the numerous health disparities the LGBTQ community has had to face, contributing to the higher rate of uninsured people in the LGBTQ community compared to non-LGBTQ Americans. However, better health for our community is possible under the Affordable Care Act, also known as “Obamacare,” which aims to close the health gap by including LGBTQ-specific provisions, and providing affordable, comprehensive, health care for the LGBTQ community.

There are five major changes in health care under the ACA that will have a direct impact on the health and well-being of the LGBT community: 1. AFFORDABLE, QUALITY, NONDISCRIMINATORY PLANS AVAILABLE

THROUGH THE HEALTH INSURANCE MARKETPLACE — Created by the health care law, the Marketplace (aka the Affordable Insurance Exchange) is a one-stop shop for consumers to purchase a health care plan most suitable for their individual health needs and budget. Federal tax subsidies are available based on reported income, and the Marketplace will automatically determine how much financial assistance consumers are eligible for, making coverage more affordable. All plans in the Marketplace must offer 10 essential benefits including: emergency services, mental health and substance abuse disorder services, prescription drugs, and preventative and wellness services. LGBTQ people and their families have equal access to all health insurance plans and services, no matter what state they live in.

2. EQUAL COVERAGE FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES. Post-DOMA, married same-sex spouses will be treated the same under federal law, no matter what state they live in. This means that if you are legally married in any state or abroad, you and your spouse will be able to apply together for financial assistance through the Marketplace in your state . How much assistance you and your spouse qualify for will depend on how you file your federal income taxes. As you compare plans, be sure to look at which plans allow you and your spouse to apply together, as they may vary depending on how they define “family”.

3. EQUAL COVERAGE FOR TRANSGENDER PEOPLE. Title VII federal nondiscrimination protections ban discrimination based on gender identity, and being a transgender

most critical of the organization.

“Every naysayer is being approached,” he said. “I want to open dialog with those most critical of us. I believe it is a gift to be told what is wrong. That is the only way we’ll know what needs to be fixed.

Risbon also promised a more friendly and inviting lobby, more responsiveness to people wanting to volunteer.

“I think it’s important to tell people what contributions Valerie made to this organization,” Netto said. “She took this from a $45,000 organization with one and a half employees to over $2 million in revenues and owning its own building.”

“Valerie poured her heart and soul into this Center and it became her and she became it,” he explained. “This community is better off because of Valerie Larabee.” Q person is no longer a pre-existing condition.

Also, under the ACA you have the right to all services that any other person in your plan would be able to have covered. These services include: preventive screenings such as mammograms, Pap tests, and prostate exams; hormone therapy; and mental health services.

Depending on your plan, gender-related surgical procedures may be included. When comparing insurance plans keep a close eye out for “exclusions” or “limitations” based on gender-related services and report it to info@ out2enroll.org. Other complaints may also be made to transgenderlawcenter.org.

4. NO EXCLUSIONS FOR PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS. As noted above, being a transgender person may no longer be classified as a pre-existing condition. This also means that HIV and cancer patients will not be denied coverage. The Marketplace does not even ask for a health history before determining which insurance options are available.

5. EASY ENROLLMENT. Obtaining health coverage is simple and can be done in 4 easy steps online at healthcare.gov- 1) Create an account, 2) Complete the Online Application, 3) Compare Options, 4) Enroll. There is online and over-the-phone assistance available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The Health Insurance Marketplace will remain open until March 31, 2014. To obtain coverage starting Jan. 1, enrollment must be complete by the 15th of December.

Free services for enrollment assistance and general information about the Marketplace are available at Utah Pride. To ask questions anytime or schedule an appointment, send emails to: ­deann@­utahpridecenter.org or call 801-539-8800 x132 Drop-ins welcome Thursdays & Fridays 10-6, at Utah Pride, 255 E 400 S. Q

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 17

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

Utah AIDS Foundation volunteer named to ‘POZ 100’ POZ magazine, a magazine for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS, Utah AIDS Foundation volunteer Mike Weight as one of their fourth annual POZ 100.

Weight started volunteering as a receptionist at the Utah AIDS Foundation in 2012 and soon began volunteering in the food bank assisting others in making healthy food choices and bringing a smile to their faces. He eventually took full ownership of UAF’s vegetable garden, installing new trellises and a new watering system and getting involved in the planning and planting of all the new plants. He has participated in numerous fundraising events and provides HIV education to the youth involved with Salt Lake Early Intervention program as they perform community service in the food bank. His contribution to his community has changed the lives of many, and the fruits (and vegetables!) of his hard work will grow for years to come.

This year, POZ asked individuals and organizations to nominate an HIV-positive person in their community who is an unsung hero in the fight against AIDS. For the first time, the list is made up completely of people living with the virus. The list includes individuals of all ages, ethnicities, genders and sexual orientations from across the United States and Puerto Rico, at organizations large and small. It comprises a variety of careers, from bloggers and activists to doctors and educators, and spans across many diverse populations affected by the virus.

“The individuals on this

year’s list may not consider themselves to be heroes, but we do,” said Oriol Gutierrez, POZ’s editor-in-chief. “Each person—in his or her own unique way—is taking a brave stand against the virus. They are fighting back. From people who volunteer for AIDS service organizations or work as policy advocates, to those who act as educators to promote prevention and treatment, this list represents an incredibly diverse spectrum of people living with HIV and making a difference on the front lines in their communities,” Gutierrez said.

The people spotlighted on this year’s POZ 100 will inspire readers with their passion to effect change in the world. By telling their stories, POZ hopes the public at large will better understand that the fight against HIV/AIDS continues.

“Because they are living with the virus themselves, these individuals have a unique understanding of what needs to be done and how best to do it,” Gutierrez continued. “They know what it’s like to be newly diagnosed and how it feels to deal with HIV-related stigma and discrimination. They understand the challenges of accessing care, treatment and support. By sharing their stories, they are not only inspiring others living with the virus but also empowering themselves and the entire HIV community.”

Go to poz.com/100 to see this year’s full list.

Salt Lake County Library and Salt Lake County Health Department are commemorating World AIDS Day with screenings of the acclaimed documentary We Were Here.

Tuesday, December 3 at 7:00 p.m.

Library’s Viridian Event Center 8030 S. 1825 W., West Jordan Thursday, December 5 at 2:00 & 7:30 p.m.

Saltair Room, University of Utah Union Building World AIDS Day is an opportunity for all of us to learn the facts about HIV and put that knowledge into action in Salt Lake County. Look for displays in County Libraries.

LIBRARY

SERVICES

HEALTH DEPARTMENT

18 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | NEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Q mmunity Poinsettia sale benefits PWACU

For all of your event and catering needs 801.466.2537 • lecroissantcatering.com

For the ninth consecutive year, the People with AIDS Coalition of Utah is holding it annual Poinsettia fundraiser.

These beautiful Red Poinsettias are in 6-inch pots, with five or more blooms per plant. They are 15–19” tall and 15” wide, and are locally grown to ensure freshness.

Poinsettias are to be preordered by Nov. 15, at $10 per plant or $75 for eight plants.

INFO: Call 801-484-2205 to order or go to pwacu.org

Salt Lake Men’s Choir to perform holiday concert

801-308-2050

www.jonjepsen.com

Pride Counseling

Jerry Buie MSW, LCSW

By appointment only

801-595-0666 801-557-9203

OFFICE CELL

jerrybuie@mac.com

pridecounseling.tv

1174 East Graystone Way Ste 20-E, Salt Lake City

As with every December over the past 31 years, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir will present their Christmas concert of holiday favorites. Titled “Welcome Christmas,” the concert will include a wide variety of songs, from “African Star Carol” to the Irish “Wexford Carol.” “Cold and Fugue Season” is a clever parody on Bach’s famous “Fugue in G Minor” that will have the audience in stitches. The haunting “The Darkest Midnight in December” is a great contrast to the wacky title song “Welcome Christmas,” that the Whos of Whoville sang in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

The choir’s musical director is Dennis McCracken. Returning to the piano and organ is Aaron Flood. Steven Gray will also be conducting a few of the songs as the choir’s new assistant musical director.

The show is general admission, and tickets can be used at any of the three performances.

The Sunday show is generally the largest attended, so showing up early will get the best seat. Once again, concert-goers are asked to bring a nonperishable food item to be donated to the Utah AIDS Foundation Food Bank.

WHEN: Friday, Dec. 13 and Saturday, Dec. 14, 7:30 p.m.; and Sunday, Dec. 15, 4 p.m.

WHERE: First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East TICKETS: $10, ­SaltLakeMensChoir.org and any choir member

Pride Center offers panel on health care reform Utah Pride and the Utah AIDS Foundation will hold a panel on the Affordable Care Act and how it affects gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally people..

It will begin with an information session covering some of the basics, and then a panel of Patient Navigators will answer your questions.

You may post questions on the event Facebook page or bring them with you.

WHEN: Monday, Nov. 25, 6:30pm WHERE: Utah Pride Center, 251 E 400 South COST: Free.

Participants needed for body image study Men 18 to 26 years of age are being sought to complete a survey about body image.

The results will help develop programs and provide a better understanding of body issue in men.

To participate, go to ­surveymonkey.com/s/uofu13

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 19

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Ogden OUTreach expands to Brigham, Logan, Clearfield, Tremonton

Candy Cane Corner gives a taste of Christmas In its 19th year, Candy Cane Corner is a holiday “store” for families being served by Volunteers of America Utah, The Road Home and YWCA Utah. Parents shop, at no cost, for items for their children and themselves. This allows parents to pick out holiday gifts they know their children need and want, which allows for dignity and love during these difficult times for many.

Throughout December, homeless and low-income families may visit Candy Cane Corner with a case manager to select gifts for their children and themselves. In addition to new toys, clothing and housewares, Candy Cane Corner provides wrapping paper, ribbons and tape to complete the

holiday gift-giving experience.

Last year, Candy Cane Corner served more than 2,000 people, including 1,200 children.

To donate, all items must be new and not wrapped. Drop your donations between now and the store opening on December 2. A wish list can be found at candycanecornerslc. org.

DROP-OFF LOCATIONS: THE ROAD HOME - 210 Rio Grande Street (455 West) every day, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.

YWCA UTAH - 322 E. 300 South Monday-Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

After the store opens, donations may be taken directly to the Dumac Building, 341 S. Rio Grande St.

BYU studies urine splash “Wizz kids” Todd Truscott and Randy Hurd of Brigham Young University’s Splash Lab, a research lab studying the physics of fluids, have been using high-speed cameras to examine exactly what happens to a stream of urine when it hits the toilet.

They’re on a quest against “splashback,” simulating male urination in the lab (since seeing an actual penis urinating is too offensive) to see how

exactly you can go about getting it all in the bowl. For the sake of clean bathrooms, clean pants and happy subsequent bathroom-goers. According to Hurd, part of the messiness caused by male urination is due to a phenomenon called Plateau-Rayleigh instability, which causes streams of falling liquid to decompose into droplets. When a guy pees, the urine stream breaks into droplets about six inches away from the

Students at Box Elder High School are fighting with the school district to allow a GayStraight Alliance, and Ogden OUTreach is right beside them.

The group also celebrated the opening of four new centers — Tremonton, Logan, Clearfield and Brigham City.

Jane and Tami Marquardt offered a challenge grant, allowing the group to expand into four locations outside their Ogden home. The group has begun a campaign to meet the couple’s challenge to fund the new center locations.

Prior to the Box Elder School District’s meeting to determine the fate of noncurricular clubs, OUTreach held a public forum in Brigham City.

“Box Elder County has the highest youth suicide rate in the state, and it is more important now than ever for those who care to help LGBT and allied youth to be supported,” group leaders said in an announcement of the forum.

Box Elder students and parents, along with ACLU Lead Counsel John Mejia and Dr. Rebecca Brower.

A “record crowd” at the Box Elder School District’s board meeting ended with a board vote 5 to 1 in favor of a new club policy that continues to

allow noncurricular clubs.

BESD Superintendent Ronald Wolff said he review the club applications and will work with student applicants to help them meet state requirements for clubs without adding his own values to the decision.

The new OUTreach locations are satellites of the current location at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Ogden.

Their goal is to help save the lives of youth through preventing suicide and homelessness.

Each location is open to those 14–23 years of age for several hours one day a week to provide a hot meal, educational and art programming, assistance in getting food stamps, healthcare and housing, employment and mental counseling, and basic necessities.

urethra exit. “So by the time it hits the urinal, it’s already in droplet form,” he told the BBC. “And these droplets are the perpetrators of the splash formation on your khaki pants.”

The best way to avoid unwanted urine splash seems to be sitting on the toilet, a technique that has been advocated by certain restaurants, Taiwan’s Environmental Protection Administration minister, and one Swedish politician, and shouted down by many corners of the Internet. You’re about five

times farther from the bowl when you stand as when you sit, creating a bigger splash, but if standing to pee is essential to your manhood, Hurd says that you can also switch the “angle of attack,” so to speak. Smaller angle between stream and toilet water, less splatter. Even better, hit the porcelain instead of the water, which Hurd says makes the process “a lot less chaotic.”

The Splash Lab will be presenting its research at the American Physical Society Meeting later this month.

DROP-IN HOURS: Ogden: 3–7:30 p.m. Wednesdays, 705 23rd Street Clearfield: 1st Thursdays, 5:30–7:30 p.m., 782 E 700 S Logan: Fridays, 4:30–7:30 p.m., 596 E. 900 N Brigham City: 2nd Thursday, 4–6 p.m., 435 E 700 S Tremonton: 3rd Thursday, 4–6 p.m., 440 W. 600 N To donate or for more information, go to OUTreachResourceCenters.org or call 801-686-4528

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

NEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 21

22 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

views

“

It’s not like it’s my mission to tell the stories of as many gay men as

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

celeb quotes from november

possible, although in some cases, I think it is the point. In Milk, the point is to show one of the great fighters for equal rights for the gay community, so I was happy to do that. With

“

characters like Allen Ginsberg [in ‘Howl’], my love for him started with his work when I was a teenager. So his sexuality is secondary to me. It’s an important aspect of who he was and his character, but it wasn’t like, ‘Yes, I want to play another gay role,’ it was

“

more, ‘Yes, I’d love to play another one of my heroes.’”

“

—James Franco

Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans.

But, of course … not many.”

—Morrisey

For me, I fell in love with a dude and started spending all my time with him. And therefore, you don’t want to be suppressive of that. And so as I started working more frequently, with more eyes on us, I figured that that was inevitability and the opposite would be, again,

suppressive. I didn’t want to disrespect David. I didn’t want to make David feel like he didn’t exist in my life, and at the same time I didn’t want David’s identity to be the guy that’s dating me. It’s a very individual thing.”

—Neil Patrick Harris on why he came out

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor.

Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@ gaysaltlake.com.

We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 23

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

guest editorial A community

BY SIM GILL

There was

a time when you were not welcomed, and in some places, even today, that is still true. Your conversations were hushed. Your secrets were buried deep in your soul, wrapped in a shroud of fear.

Often you had to leave your home to find your family, and sometimes your family to find your home.

Loneliness was a constant companion. In the sea of humanity, there was no community of acceptance, acknowledgement or recognition. The public disdain had an infection to it contaminating into submission, and an utterance of shame into silence. To object was to draw attention, it was easier to go along and hold secret your compassion, concern, and the injustice that raised its head in some self-confident arrogance.

Young adults held others shame and hate

as self-inflicted wounds; alienating isolation driving the pain inward, as a sentence passed upon their humanity. The mere weight of living getting heavier day by day.

The burden added by the shame of others and the hurt of personal judgments turned inward. Personal cuts inflicted under the watchful and encouraging eyes of those would relish the joy of such suffering, feeding some indulgent appetite of hate. How many lives were lost to such judgments?

Those sages who would survive and transition into old age in quiet isolation keeping their selves muted. The wisdom of their experience becoming the silent support to the next generation by subtle and quiet gestures of justice, compassion and concern. They, mustering the courage to speak up, quietly, forcefully and then with the loud urgency that injustice demands. Their secrets turning into joy and then a demand asserting their dignity as their own needing no permission to live and love.

The times changed ever so slowly, the long pain harvesting its hurt like some hidden bloom, flowering into a hope and promise of dignity and justice. The stories, the lives, the voices, the effort finding itself

like lost siblings in search of each other.

From a community of silence, from a community of hurt, from a community of quiet isolation, from a community of discriminating injustice rose a community. A gathering of courage, anger, compassion, dignity, love — asserting itself, silent no more, finding strength in the unity of each other.

So now, when the prize is within reach, a new turbulence comes, testing the strength of community and the hurt comes from within — distrust, anger, alienation, loss of purpose, a distance becoming an abyss. So much is the common history of experience that no difference should be a wall between those who have been witnesses to injustice. Too much has been sacrificed for such an end.

My heart hurts to see the dissonance to our pride, to those who are the hearts of a collective history of a community that has accomplished so much, and still has much to do for each other and for those still longing for justice, dignity and hope.

Too much has been sacrificed for such an end. This is our common bond and our path back. Who will come to the aid of this COMMUNITY? Q Sim Gill is the Salt Lake County District Attorney

Fill the Pack 2013

Provide needed items for homeless youth this holiday season Homeless Youth Resource Center Wish List   

Financial Contributions New Backpacks (school size) $5 Gift Cards (Smith’s, Walmart, Wendy’s and McDonald’s)

      

Hand Warmers First Aid Kits (small) Reusable Water Bottles Beanies (dark colors) Gloves (dark colors) Socks Fleece blankets

To help please contact Cat Rogers: 801-364-0744 cat.rogers@voaut.org Deliver donations M-F 9:30am - 5pm at 655 S. State Street *surplus of donations will be used to support additional VOA programs

Just $100 can provide a holiday backpack and a day of valuable services to a youth living on the streets.

Give Today!

Donate at www.voaut.org or mail to: VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center 655 South State Street Salt Lake City, UT 84111

This is why we do what we do. TM

24 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

the straight line

A new day at Utah Pride?

Much has

BY BOB HENLINE

happened at Utah Pride over the last month. Two staff members were laid off, a number of others have resigned, including executive director Valerie Larabee. A new board president rose up as the result of a strange election held behind closed doors.

All of this has left many of us shaking our heads and wondering what is really happening at our community center.

Last week, at a meeting following Larabee’s sudden resignation, Utah Pride staff and board members proclaimed that it is a “new day at Utah Pride.” What, though, does that new day look like?

Let me begin by stating my fervent belief that the Pride Center is a vital part of this community. The services and programs offered at Utah Pride literally save lives, every single day. That being said, it is

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also readily apparent that there have been severe problems at the center, problems with management, problems with finances, and problems with the board’s oversight of both.

The biggest problem being faced at the Center, though, isn’t money and it isn’t management, it’s trust. The community at large has lost its faith in Utah Pride.

The question now is what can the Center board do to restore that faith?

First and foremost, they need to honor the promises that have been made over the past month, and so far, the track record isn’t stellar. Newly elected acting board president John Netto promised that there would be a transparency plan and that board meetings would be held in accordance with the bylaws and the principles of transparency.

Part of that has happened. Board member Jesse Nix has drafted the beginnings of a transparency plan, part of which he unveiled in a public meeting Nov. 13. It still requires board input and approval before it becomes available for public comment.

What also happened, though, was a “special meeting” of the board on November 11. This meeting was scheduled that same day, in violation of Pride Center bylaws which call for notice to directors at least one day before the meeting. No public notice of this meeting was given, no announcement made. QSaltLake learned of the meeting through a rumor just minutes beforehand.

On the positive side, most of the remaining staff seem encouraged by the changes.

There is a much more open and welcoming attitude prevailing at the center. QSaltLake publisher Michael Aaron and I sat down with John Netto last week for an interview and, much to our surprise, two Pride Center staffers were invited to participate.

That is a dramatic change from the previous regime, where staff were actively discouraged from discussions with the press, and even with board members.

This new attitude, however, is also counterpointed by the claim of another staff

member, Alessandro Galvani, who recently resigned, sending QSaltLake a statement that he had essentially been bullied out

by Netto. Galvani claims that Netto told him, and other staff and board members, that Galvani only had a job because of his friendship with one of the Pride Center’s major I believe that donors. This claim was confirmed by for a new day to a board member dawn at Utah speaking off the Pride, wholesale record.

I believe that changes must be for a new day to made at the top dawn at Utah Pride, wholesale changes must be made at the top. Netto may very well have the financial knowledge and skills to clean up the “turd pile,” as he put it a few weeks ago, but is there some reason why he can’t do that as treasurer of the organization instead of as president? Utah Pride needs a leader who can reach out to the various parts of this community and restore faith and confidence in the Center.

There will be an election at the next board meeting, scheduled for December 2 at 6:00pm at the Pride Center. All officer positions (president, vice president, secretary, and treasurer) will be filled at this time.

Board member Jesse Nix has been outspoken in his commitment to reforming the operations of the Pride Center in the past, according to several sources. He has been deeply involved in all of the public meetings since this situation escalated a month ago. He is well-known and wellrespected both inside and outside of the LGBT community. I haven’t spoken with Nix about this, nor do I know if he intends to run. I’m not a board member, but I do believe myself to be a part of this community and I believe that he is the ideal person to help restore the public faith and trust in our community center as president of the board of directors. Q

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 25

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

thinking out loud

The end of the slippery slope WHY SAME-SEX MARRIAGE WON’T LEAD THE WAY TO GOAT WEDDINGS AND POLYGAMY

I’ve heard

BY ABBY DEES

some variation of this kind of argument more times than I can count: “If we let gays marry, next we’ll have to let people marry goats! Or, “If we can’t legislate morality, what’s to stop people from legalizing polygamy or marrying children?”

These are what lawyers call “slippery slope” arguments, the idea being that once you’ve started going down the hill, there’s nothing to keep you from pretty much careening all the way to the bottom.

Slippery slope arguments are a mainstay of conservative commentators who object to same-sex marriage, and I can see why.

They appeal in a common-sense kind of way. It’s important for a civil society to have clear lines between things that are right and wrong so we all know what to expect each day. The slippery slope suggests that well intended policies could have unintended consequences that will surely send us into chaos.

You might have noticed, however, that while these comments are all over the place in the media, they’re pretty much non-existent in LGBT court cases. That’s because in real life there is no slippery slope.

In law school I learned how to use the slippery slope argument to make my position sound stronger than it really was. It’s

actually more of a volley into the opponent’s court than a killer shot; it buys a little time and gets the other side on the defensive.

Allow me to return the volley and explain why same-sex marriage won’t put us on a slippery slope to ruin. In short, it’s because the law is in the hands of human beings, not robots, who will, with any luck, put the brakes on when it’s correct to do so. And that choice will always be dependent on more than one simple precedent – such as same-sex marriage – but rather, a complex weighing of the multitude of competing rights and duties we all have.

Back in 1878 the Supreme Court outlawed polygamy based on the idea that religious belief can’t trump the needs of an ordered democracy. We still have freedom of religion, but it never exists in a vacuum.

Now let’s talk about goat marriage. No matter what the courts say about same-sex marriage, there is at least one very good reason why we will never see man/goat marriages down at the courthouse: goats can’t consent. Each of us has the right to marry, sure, but inherent to modern legal marriage is _ mutual _ consent. Sorry, goat-lovers.

Which is also why states restrict marriage to minors. You’ll probably agree that what makes the image of someone marrying a minor distasteful (at best) to most of

us is that minors are likely not mature or empowered enough as individuals to fully and freely consent to such an important agreement. In this case, the law respects the right of the minor to not be coerced or exploited by someone in a more powerful position over the right of the adult to marry, or even the minor’s right to choose.

The more compelling version of the slippery slope argument is whether we can legislate morality. Same-sex marriage opponents believe that same-sex marriage portends the end of moral considerations in our laws. But we legislate morality all the time. Think about strip joints near schools or banning porn on broadcast TV. Again, it’s a question of weighing the rights involved. Is it your right not to have the evening news go totally hardcore, or the network’s right to broadcast what they want? The moral foundation of our laws will continue to be factored into the equation as long as we have a system of rights.

Sometimes that morality will be deemed compelling enough to compel legislation; sometimes it won’t.

As for same-sex marriage, where we’ve won it, the courts have decided that one group’s moral views (a minority of people now, for the record) is not sufficient to stop another group from entering into a lawful contract of marriage, as consenting adults. More specifically, and with all due respect to those who disagree, where society goes next is not a foregone conclusion.

Rather than wildly sliding down, I’d say we’re still climbing, slowly, up. Q Abby is a civil rights attorney-turned-author who has been in the LGBT rights trenches for 25-plus years. She can be reached through at: queerquestionsstraighttalk.com.

We will see an end to marriage discrimination in Utah On March 25, 2013. The Law firm of Magleby & Greenwood P.C. Filed a federal court challenge to Utah Amendment 3 in United States 10th Circuit Court.

Restore Our Humanity is backing the lawsuit, we are committed to bring equality and fairness to all families and to all citizens of Utah.

We cannot do this without your support Please consider making a donation. $5, $10 or $15 a month will help us fund the battle for equality and fairness in Utah for all families . please visit our website at www.restoreourhumanity.org

tax deductable donations can be made through our fiscal sponsor for details please visit our website

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

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Hooray

for Illinois, the latest state to allow gays and lesbians to get legally married. As People for the American Way points out, that brings the grand total of U.S. states with marriage equality up to a whopping 30 percent. Which is still an F on any sane grading scale. Still, it’s a start. And 30 percent is certainly better than zero, but we still have a long way to go.

Of course, if you’re Laurie Higgins from the Illinois Family Institute, you think we’ve gone too far already. IFI opposes marriage equality and they are none too pleased with the news that same-sex couples will soon start marrying in the Land of Lincoln (so far June is the earliest projected gay wedding day).

In a Nov. 6 blog post, Higgins berated the cowardly and/or ignorant Illinois lawmakers who voted in favor of marriage equality “in defiance of truth, history, logic, compassion, and in some cases, their own religious traditions.”

And the children! Who will think of the children? Why, Higgins will, of course. “[Lawmakers] have given their stamp of approval on the practice of denying

Embracing the health & resilience of our community

children’s inherent right to have both a mother and father,” she writes.

First of all, children actually don’t have an “inherent right” to a mom and dad.

Sure, ideally all children would be loved and well cared for by two parents starting from the moment of their birth and continuing unconditionally throughout their lives. But research has shown that those two parents do not have to be a mom and a dad. Two moms or two dads will do just fine, thank you very much.

Higgins disagrees, of course. In her post she blasts a “manipulative … letter from a ten-year-old girl” that was read during the floor debates over the marriage law.

According to Higgins, “[P]rior to being adopted by two homosexual men [the girl] had been in foster care.” Higgins then writes that “adoption by a similarly compassionate mother and father would have been a better option.”

Actually, an even better option for this girl would have been never having to end up in foster care in the first place. Granted, I don’t know this particular girl’s story, but children end up in foster care for a variety of reasons, and none of these reasons are happy. There are thousands of kids in foster care and the number who will be left lingering there, never to be adopted or reunited with the families they were separated from, is staggering.

When Higgins says that this girl should have gone to straight parents instead, she is really saying that having no parents is better than having gay parents. Because if she thinks that there is a line of mom-dad pairs outside the door of child welfare agencies and that gays are snatching available children away from them, she’s having some kind of fever dream.

If children have an “inherent right” to anything, it’s to a secure attachment to a loving adult who is willing and able to take care of them. Unfortunately, you don’t have to look very hard to find that this right is often denied. So forgive me if I find Higgins’ claim that she’s fighting for kids by fighting against gay and lesbian families to be completely ludicrous and deeply offensive. Q

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 27

a mom’s view A few months ago I was invited to attend the Gay Writes Community Writing Club sponsored by Salt Lake Community College. We meet the First and Third Monday’s at 6:30 p.m., SLCC Community Writing Center, 210 East and 400 South, Suite 8, Salt Lake City, UT 84111.

This group is open to the LGBT community and allies. There are poets, fiction and non-fiction writers; a lot of variety. Members get feedback and help on their writings; it has helped me a great deal with writing my articles. Please join us.

For the next few months, I will be highlighting some of the great talent in the group. I know you will enjoy the writings.

I am not a zero

BY KELLY ALBRECHT

My therapist

took a white sheet of paper and placed it on the table between us. Along the top he made a row of about eight X’s. Near the bottom he made a single zero.

That visit to his office was our final interview, and his analysis would determine if I go on a mission, or stay home and undergo more treatment.

It was my Bishop who decided I needed therapy in the first place. When I talked to him about my desire to serve a mission, I also repented about my homosexual experiences. We talked in great detail about them for several months, but he decided I should undergo treatment for my “socalled” confusion.

He made all the arrangements and covered the cost. But the process turned into months of intense guilt and shame.

Sometimes I would drive home from my sessions and need to pull off the side of the road so I could cry.

I may have been a confused teenager but I never truly started to hate myself until after I repented for my sins.

Up until that point I was one of the lucky ones, part of the chosen few to be born a member of the only true church upon the face of the earth. I was held back in heaven to be born during this time because I had proven myself worthy to live in these times, during the fullness of the Gospel, and to be a warrior to defend its truthfulness.

The first time I learned about discrimination was in 1978. The church announced that they received a revelation allowing blacks to receive the Priesthood. Though I was only ten years old at the time this really bothered me; not because blacks could receive the Priesthood, but because up until that time I never knew they couldn’t.

I did not know that God would discriminate against certain people.

Little did I know that later in life, I myself, a chosen child of God, would become the target of such hatred and discrimination, and become an outcast.

I did finally get to serve a mission, but I will never forget about the X’s and the zero that my therapist wrote on the paper.

He told me that the X’s represent ‘the dudes.’ He said they like to get together and do man things like play basketball.

It helps them to bond and become good friends with one another.

Then there was me on the other side of the paper, the big zero. I watch them play basketball and I notice how they become friends. My therapist said that I long to be a part of their group, to fit in. But since I didn’t play basketball, I didn’t know how.

Somehow I became confused and began to associate the penis as a path to male bonding. I started thinking that if I could make their penis feel good then they would feel good, and if they felt good about what I was doing to them then they would accept me as their friend.

“So, in conclusion,” he told me in his monotone voice, “All you need to do is play more basketball. Eventually you will stop thinking about them as a penis and bond with them in more natural ways.”

Nearly a year of therapy twice a week and that was the final analysis.

It almost makes me laugh when I think about it now, but I can’t help but think how life is still like that, us and them, the X’s and the zero’s. But I no longer feel alone, and I no longer feel I need to change who I am to be accepted by them. I accept them and myself completely. That does not mean they need to like me anymore than I like basketball, but only when they learn acceptance for all, will true growth begin.

I still don’t like to play basketball, but my therapist was right about one thing. I sure enjoy making their penises feel good. Q kirkhamked@gmail.com, Leesa@LeesaMyers.com

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

who’s your daddy?

Look into my crystal ball When I

I was curious, if these self-proclaimed top psychics in the country could be so off base, how well could a mere mortal like me do? Well, let’s see what predictions for 2014 my crystal ball can conjure up!

PASTOR FOUND GUILTY OF MARRYING GAY SON A Spring City, Iowa United Methodist pastor was found guilty of violating church Methodist pastors “convicted” Rev. Frank

BY CHRISTOPHER KATIS

was in grad school, Kelly and I went to a county fair where I had my palms read by an old “gypsy” woman. At first she seemed to be spot on: she predicted I’d be going on a trip across a body of water to a country where English wasn’t spoken, but I was learning their language. We were a couple of weeks away from heading to Russia. Pretty amazing, right?

Then she blew it. She saw me married to a woman and having three kids. I soon came to realize that even her “spot on” predictions were really just educated guesses.

Back then, a guy my age living in Monterey was either in the army, attending the military language school, or — like me — was in an international studies program at one of the two graduate colleges. There was a pretty good chance all of palms she was reading were headed overseas.

The holidays are a time for people to make bold predictions about themselves and the world at large. People declare they’ll quit smoking, lose weight, read more. Psychics predict great natural disasters, Hollywood gossip, and life-changing world events.

A quick internet search of “psychic predictions for 2013” unearthed a collection of what some of the “top psychics” saw in store for the year. As I read the list, I admit I was less impressed with their accuracy than those of my county fair gypsy.

• Kate Middleton didn’t have a girl.

• Cuba didn’t become a part of the U.S. (she also predicted Puerto Rico would — um, it already is...)

• Tommy Lee Jones didn’t take home an Oscar for his role in Lincoln.

• But the Boston Red Sox did win the World Series (that’s for my buddy, Bob Henline).

wtf?!

FAMILY • Gus will score more goals in hockey.

• Niko will pass first grade.

• Kelly will surprise me with a romantic weekend getaway (hint, hint, honey).

• The cats will continue to bring me loveofferings of dead and half-dead rodents.

COMMUNITY • The Utah Pride Center will remain adrift.

• Equality Utah will ignore the fact that marriage equality is important to the overwhelming majority of LGBTQ Utahns, and will continue to endorse candidates opposed to it.

• Meanwhile, marriage equality will become the law in more and more states.

POLITICS • Mia Love will consistently make statements that simultaneously offend and enrage me.

• Ditto Sen. Mike Lee. • State Sen. Jim Dabakis will make the GOP increasingly uncomfortable in their hypocrisy.

• Gayle Ruzicka will smile — wait, let’s not get carried away.

SPORTS • Novak Djokovic will finally win the French Open.

• The University of Utah’s football team will have a season that doesn’t make me yell profanities at the television screen.

• BYU will still suck.

• The New York Yankees will win the World Series (that’s also for my buddy, Bob Henline).

My crystal ball is pretty cloudy, so I’m not sure how accurate my predictions are going to be. But I can, with 100 percent accuracy, predict that my love for my kids and husband will continue to grow every day, that the LGBTQ community will grow stronger and stronger, and that I won’t be marrying a woman and having three kids.

Here’s wishing everyone a wonderful holiday season and may all your best predictions for 2014 come true! Q

Schaefer of demonstrating “disobedience to the order and discipline of the United Methodist Church” after officiating his son Tim’s marriage to another man back in 2007. “I did not want to make this a protest about the doctrine of the church,” Schaefer said during his opening remarks on Monday. “I was ready to choose between my son and my career.”

NOM LOSES $1.1 MILLION IN 2012, GALLAGHER GETS A RAISE Even though the anti-gay marriage National Organization for Marriage outspent its revenues by $1.1 million, and even though co-founder Maggie Gallagher announced in 2011 that she was :significantly scaling back” he involvement, the organization paid her $160,000, which is more than she made the previous year as full-time chairman.

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CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY RETHINKING BAN ON HIRING OPENLY GAY FACULTY Eastern Mennonite University could be the first Mennonite institution to formally reverse its policy that prohibits tenuretrack faculty from engaging in same-sex relationships. Currently, openly gay professors in same-sex relationships are not eligible for employment. If they want to work at the university, they must keep their relationship statuses a secret. University President Loren Swartzendruber announced a six-month “listening period” to review the policy beginning in January.

During the review process, faculty will not be penalized for “violating the policy”

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

queer shift

Intention Shift

BY CHARLES FROST

Never ...

really, never stop paying attention to what the Universe is sending you by way of constant to infrequent, simple to complex, small to overwhelming messages. Just don’t do it! Ever!

For the last several months the Universe has been informing me through voluminous methods that change was about to be upon me. The change was going to be difficult and I needed to prepare for it.

Throughout the years that I have truly believed in the power of the Laws of Attention and Allowance, I’d thought I had become pretty darn good at seeing, listening, hearing and connecting the messages.

Well, humility being the mother of all principles taught me once again that you never truly master this, you only become little by little, hint by hint, a wee bit better in the understanding of what the Universe is trying to tell and send you.

I really had no idea what was just around the corner. About a month ago I received an enlightening, and ever so timely post from one of my heroes and good friend, Maggie Snyder. I asked her if I could share the message, thinking it was from her abundant heart, and she informed me it had come to her recently, when she most needed it as well.

Maggie wrote me: “I must admit that it was not mine. Someone sent it to me and he received it from someone else. The only thing that I added was ‘there is nothing stronger than love.’ I do not know where it originated. I was only a messenger. I thought the message was good. We can all use a little encouragement. Those that give (such as yourself) must have something to refill our cups so that we can keep giving.

You do not need my permission. It has a life of it’s own through us ... people like you. Our community needs love because we have lived so much feeling like we haven’t had our share.”

The following is the powerful intention avalanche Maggie posted, something I so needed to read and it hit me like a gut punch.

“Everyone will go thru some hard times

at some point. Life isn’t easy. Just something to think about...Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the ones who take care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I’m sorry, and HELP ME. Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in. To all my friends who are going through some issues right now--Let’s start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will! There is nothing stronger than love.”

The Universe was shouting at me -- did I know? An intention avalanche of positivity? I am grateful for this powerful message, amongst several others I received, through intuition and via wonderfully kind people and cherished loved ones that helped me live in the eye of a hurricane these last few weeks.

Which brings me to two other things I have recently connected and created some solid self sense around, also via repeated messages from the Universe. We queer people who live in this world, but particularly those of us who have grown up with LDS DNA at our core feel this innate need to have someone lead us, that we should sublimate and be followers. We also, to our detriment somewhere deep in our subconscious also think we need to be given permission. Well, I am here to shout we don’t need either. We do not need leaders who do not have our best interests at the core of their vision. We do not need

to follow blind guides. Nor do we need to abdicate our own self power to some other body, group of people, organization that is not deeply connected to what we think, believe and, most importantly, want.

It is time for all of us, regardless of generation, sexual orientation, gender, conforming or nonconforming to stand up, speak up, and take back our community.

That very community has shifted, changed, altered significantly in the last decade, and we need to all be responsibly involved and culturally responsive in how it morphs and is shaped for the upcoming decade of even greater change. We need to own it. We need to rewind -- stop --wWhat is it, regarding our own collective and individual destinies. Off the soapbox.

Just recently I came across a wonderful question that in my opinion really connects to our collective wisdom about ourselves as we grow and evolve. Our growth and self-knowledge often times come from having lived through what the Universe has sent. Here’s the question: If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words? Back to Facebook, so I posted it and so many wonderful people responded, with comments like “Be true,” “Forgive often,” “Respect everyone,” “Take advice,” “Speak out,” “Exercise everyday,” “Trust yourself,” “Don’t react,” “Question Everything,” “Stand up,” “Avoid them,” “Love, love,” “So sexy,” “Leave sooner,” “Embrace confidence,” “Love yourself,” and “Buy Apple!” Give it a try and see what your two words are.

Shifting our individual and collective intentions are possible and at the very core of being our very unique, authentic, astonishing selves. It all goes back to intention. Q “No one else has access to the world you carry around within yourself; you are its custodian and entrance. No one else can see the world the way you see it. No one else can feel your life the way you feel it. Thus it is impossible to ever compare two people because each stands on such different ground. When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting envy into your consciousness; it can be a dangerous and destructive guest.”

— John O’Donohue

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 31

During this season of reflection and giving, we thank you for your continued love, support and commitment to making our community stronger and more inclusive.

From all of us at the Utah Pride Center, we wish you a safe and happy holiday season.

YOUR COMMUNITY CENTER

UtahPrideCenter.org

32 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | VIEWS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

lambda lore

Rise and Fall By now

BY BEN WILLIAMS

everyone has heard of the resigning of the executive director of the Utah Pride Center.

It’s a tough gig. It was tough in the early 90s when directors only had to deal with contentious gay men and lesbians. However, as the alphabet grows and different elements of the community want a place at the table, the job of being the public face of an often-not-so-united community has become ever more difficult.

Before the current Center, there was the old Utah Stonewall Center which began as a project of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah. The symbolic name of Stonewall stemmed from the uprising at a Gay bar by the same name in New York City in 1969.

From its humble beginning, members of the Stonewall Center committee were directly accountable to the community by reporting monthly progress at council meetings. Jim Hunsaker, former president of the Lesbian and Gay Student Union, and later Robert Smith, director of Unconditional Support, were chairs of the various planning committee. They were replaced in 1990 with the election of Charlene Orchard, who applied for grants to make a space feasible. With this seed money, a grand opening was held June 1, 1991 at 450 S. 900 East. Craig Miller, founder of the Living Traditions Festival, was chosen

by Charlene Orchard as the first executive director.

Almost immediately, conflict arose over the intended purpose of the Center. In the minds of several of the Community Council members, the center was to be a gathering place for our community, with meeting spaces, a library and recreation opportunities for the youth. However Orchard, as board chair, had a vision where the Center was to be a service organization, dispensing counseling and operating with licensed social workers and other professionals.

As the Utah Stonewall Center’s board’s intentions to sever its ties as a project of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah became known, people objected.

The Utah Stonewall Center itself was serving as a meeting place for approximately 35 organizations in the community and housed GLCCU. Many were concerned about accountability of the Center to the community it served, if the Center formed its own, separate nonprofit organization.

By September, these two conflicting positions of what the Utah Stonewall Center should be came to a head and the community had a major blow out. Fifty community leaders and activists called a meeting to discuss the direction the Center was heading and called for the Community Council to adjudicate the conflicting positions. Accusations were flung; reputations tarnished, but it was decided by popular vote to maintain the directive that the Center was to be a gathering place and not a service-oriented organization with paid staff. Both Orchard and Miller resigned due to the internal discord.

The community healed with the election of mild-mannered Marlin Criddle, an attorney, as board president in 1992.

Criddle re-organized the board of directors and chose Melissa Sillitoe, of the youth group, to be interim director. At the time, Sillitoe was a 22-year-old English student at the University of Utah and daughter of historians John and Linda Sillitoe. Under Sillatoe’s leadership, the Center relocated in 1993 to a warehouse at 770 S. 300 West.

Under Sillitoe and Criddle’s stewardship, the Utah Stonewall Center became a regular meeting place for such diverse groups as the Utah Stonewall Historical Society, a youth organization, the 50-Plus club for gay men; Affirmation for Lesbian and Gay members of the Mormon Church and Queer Nation.

The Utah Stonewall Center surged as lesbian volunteers constructed and painted walls and made rainbow window dressings.

Volunteers continued to staff the place, and the library grew to the largest gay library between Chicago and San Francisco. It was here, at this location, that high school teacher Camille Lee met East High School student Kelli Peterson and began

the process of organizing a Gay-Straight Alliance at East High in 1996.

Marlin Criddle stepped down from Board Chair in 1994, after securing the Utah Stonewall Center’s own nonprofit status after recognizing the impending collapse of the Community Council. The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, which at the time coordinated information among about 30 independent groups, withered from inept leadership, burn out and a drop in community interest in 1995. The year 1995 was also the peak of AIDS deaths in Utah, which also weakened and robbed the gay men’s community of much-needed talent and leadership.

Melissa Sillitoe also resigned just prior to Criddle, who chose 32-year-old community activist John Bennett as director.

Bennett had been active in the gay community since he came out at the University of Utah. He had worked with the Lesbian and Gay Student Union, the AIDS Project Utah and the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah. Additionally, for three years, he played piano for the Salt Lake Men’s Choir and, in 1993, founded The Lesbian and Almost Gay Chorus immediately, of Salt Lake City. He is also conflict arose former Sen. over the intended Bob Bennett’s nephew. purpose of the Replacing Center Criddle was Clare Coonan, who came to the board chair position unaware of the community’s history or its leadership. She would serve only a few months in 1995 before being ousted in favor of Nikki Boyer, a lesbian business woman and long-time community member. Coonan and Boyer both, however, had no history with the former parent organization and had little interaction with community leaders.

Bennett resigned in July 1995 over a pay dispute with the Board of Directors, and Coonan’s refusal to hire an interim director led to her being dismissed as board chair. Boyer replaced her and hired Renee Rinaldi in late 1995 to reorganized the Stonewall Center. Without a director for six months, the Center’s resources were be-

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

ing depleted. In 1995 its budget was $47,000.

Rinaldi had been a longtime community activist in such organizations as Queer Nation, the Lesbian and Gay Chorus, the Gay and Lesbian Community Council and the Anti-Violence Project. She envisioned a community center having a coffeehouse atmosphere with literary readings, chess and social hours. However Rinaldi found it difficult to get financial support from well-heeled members of the community and, as the Center was hemorrhaging money due to a large rent increase, she resigned in April 1997.

Shortly after that, Boyer resigned as chair and Brook Heart-Song, a Certified Public Accountant, took over as chair.

Michael O’Brien was hired as director and was tasked with turning the Center’s finances

around. After six weeks he was fired by Heart-Song, who felt he had actually put the Center deeper in debt. Unfortunately, no plan was devised to alert the community of the Center’s dire straits. There no longer was a community council or any forum from which to reach out until it was too late.

Acting Director Alan Ahtow unceremoniously shut the Center down in September without even notifying the volunteers. Officially the dream of the Utah Stonewall Center ended when the doors were locked Oct.1, 1997.

The Utah Stonewall Center lasted from 1991 to 1997 basically living on small grants and donations from the community. With no deep pockets willing to help with the financially struggling Center and it could not be sustained by small donations. Q

Utah Stonewall Historical Society

Read about Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender history as written by Utah’s Gay historian, Ben Williams at

benwilliamswritings. blogspot.com Add check daily for ‘This day in gay Utah history” at

benwilliamsblogger. blogspot.com

VIEWS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 33

34 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Holiday Gift Guide BUY LOCAL/BUY GAY As with each year, we encourage people to buy local, buy small and buy gay when it comes to their holiday gift giving. This promotes the local economy, helps people provide for themselves and their families, and helps our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and ally friends and family thrive.

BY MICHAEL AARON

9TH & 9TH Most of our readers know about the great shops around the 9th and 9th neighborhood.

From CAHOOTS for the bizarre and fabulous to the 9TH & 9TH JEWELERS (The Vug) for hand-made

jewelry. Throw in a small pet boutique (POSH PAWS) and an orchid store (ORCHID DYNASTY), you can knock off a good chunk of your shopping list for friends and family.

15TH & 15TH Many also know the 15th & 15th neighborhood with THE DOG SHOW, KING’S ENGLISH BOOKSHOP and 15TH STREET GALLERY.

BROADWAY SHOPS We decided to focus on a string of shops you might be less familiar with — those along Third South from State to Third East. Considered part of the “Broadway Mile,” which stretches from Fourth West to Fourth East along Broadway, this small group of shops has some of the most interesting offerings in the city.

While strolling through the area to chat with business owners and take these photos, I was struck

how the area reminded me of walking through neighborhoods in San FranUTAH ARTISTS HANDS cisco and New York City. Each shop is owned by a local — no chains here. They are funky, trendy and welcoming. The business owners are personable and enthusiastic. In short, it’s a good shopping excursion to take.

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 35

RED QUEEN BOOK ARTS

UTAH ARTIST HANDS Starting at the west side of our journey, I stopped into UTah Artist Hands, which recently moved to its 163 E. Broadway location a few months ago. I was greeted by Pamela O’Mara and her extremely friendly (but well-behaved) dog Toby.

I thought you’d have to go to San Francisco for such a place, but Red Queen Book Arts is a specialty book arts gallery of book arts, illustrated books, decorative arts, and Lewis Carroll, among other things.

They are open for business by chance or appointment and welcome your visit.

Gifts

Lube

Underwear

Books

RED QUEEN BOOK ARTS, EDGAR ALLAN POE, ILLUSTRATED BY MASTER WOOD ENGRAVER FRITZ EICHENBERG

The gallery is filled with the work of dozens of Utah artists.

There is everything from fine art to photography to paper mache, wood and metal work.

There is also something for every budget. There are so many artists and varieties there, it’s a bit like going through the Utah Arts Festival.

SAANS STUDIO & GALLERY Saans has been in Salt Lake since 1954. Taken over three years ago after the founder retired, the studio is currently doing participating in charity:water to bring clean water to Cambodia. Details at saansphotography.com

Housewares

Adult Toys

MICHAEL BERRY GALLERY AND CUSTOM FRAMING Adjoining UTah Artist Hands is Michael Berry Gallery and Custom Framing. He often participates in the Salt Lake Gallery Stroll and has a huge assortment of frames and matts.

CITY CREEK ANTIQUES While they were closed when I went through, it looks like this shop is fairly typical of antique shops, with a lot of brass, lamps and light fixtures, and jewelry.

They are located at 169 East.

TOMORROW’S HOUSE At 177 East is Tomorrow’s House, specializing in furniture, with some art as well.

You can’t help but see the huge wood-carved huge lion and lioness as you walk in the door.

But Herman Miller and other mid-century modern furniture lovers will be pleasantly surprised with the large selection.

OPEN DAILY 10am–9pm 878 East 900 South (801) 538-0606

36 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Broadway Shops (continued)

get kimchi in town? Bring cash.

No cards allowed.

NOW & AGAIN

CARMEN MIRANDA’S ANTIQUES

If you know this area, I have two surprises for you: Retro Rose is closing its 213 East store at the end of November and Michael Sanders’ Now & Again is opening in that location a few weeks after that.

local artists for sale. They tend to rotate in and out, so the assortment is constantly fresh.

GREEN ANT On the corner of Broadway and Second East is Green Ant, another mid-century modern furniture store has a more eclectic amount of furniture, in part because it is so large. I found this tiki bar that someone can buy me for $550. I also found a pair of Hill House chairs by Charles Rennie Macintosh for $1499 for the pair.

JOUISSANCE SALON & DRYBAR Sanders has an incredible eye for what people want and gives back to the community as well. Watch for an announcement for a moving sale from his old location a few blocks east on 5th.

While Now & Again is also a mid century modern furniture store, Sanders fills the place with vintage barware, glassware, cocktail shakers, ice buckets, decanters and much, much more.

ESPECIALLY FOR YOU

TAVERNACLE SOCIAL CLUB So, if you are shopping on a Wednesday after work, stop by the Tavernacle, one of the friendliest bars in town, for an unwind cocktail. After 9, it’s karaoke Sunday through Tuesday and dueling pianos Wednesday through Saturday.

Carmen Mirandas, ad 214 East past the Henry’s Dry Cleaners, has a ton of vintage jewelry, some that I thought the drag

Marci Rasmussen has been running Especially For You from this location since 1987.

She has basically become the “mayor” of the Broadway shops. She recently announce that she purchased a building on about Second West and Fourth South, so she will be moving to that location soon.

She will be missed by the business owners here.

Q CLOTHING While Q Clothing at 209 East specializes in premium denim and progressive fashion for women, they also have a number of hand-crafted items by

Big in L.A. and New York but new to Utah is the concept of a drybar. Nick James opened Jouissance Salon & Drybar just a few months ago and is getting great press. The concept is quick and inexpensive blow drys that many come in twice or more a week for. James also offers a full salon. We’ve heard it through the grape vine that Matthew Landis will also be joining this venture. (And ask them to explain what “juissance” means.)

CHERS DELI Pronounced “cheers,” Chers Deli at 219 East has been here for a million years. And people keep coming back because it’s good food, stacked deep and it’s cheap. Like $2.95 and $4.95 cheap. And where else can you

queens in town would go gaga over. What caught my eye, however, was a pair of Red Crown gas pump globes.

These looked brand new, but were from the days that pumps were all glass with the gallons marked off. Fun fact, the owner’s name is Carmen Miranda Arthur. She showed me several jewelry pieces and knocked me over with how much knowledge she had about the pieces.

OTHER SHOPS As I was running out of time, there were still more shops in the area I didn’t get to visit.

RUST RARE COINS, ANTOINETTES ANTIQUE JEWELRY and REUEL’S PHOTO BLUE (that I think is run by Satan) and others are right there.

Also nearby are KEN SANDERS RARE BOOKS, SALON NV, and BRENT GODFREY STUDIO on Second East.

Those will have to wait for another day.

Do what you can to buy local, buy small and buy gay. Q

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

GET HUNKY @ THE TAV! SUNDAYS KARAOKE

MONDAYS BINGO KARAOKE

TUESDAYS

POWERBALL KARAOKE 9PM-12AM COME EARLY FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN

WEDNESDAYS DUELING PIANOS

THURSDAYS DUELING PIANOS

FRIDAYS

DUELING PIANOS

SATURDAYS DUELING PIANOS

Non-Smoking Corner of 3rd S and 2nd E 801-519-8900 www.tavernacle.com

FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 37

38 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Holiday Gift Guide BUY LOCAL/BUY GAY Custom-made designer flash drive cases Tired of the same boring flash drives and jewelry? I’m now making custom made cases for USB flash drives, including the drive itself. The cases come in a variety of styles including steampunk, modern, gothic and more. Pictures shown are just a start. Also available are vivid dragon crafting eyes which can be created into pendants, earrings and all types of jewelry.

Jewelry can be custom made for you as well as ordering the eyes alone.

Pricing for the cases ranges from approximately $30–$80 depending on the size of the drive and casing detail. Crafting eyes come in two sizes and prices. $10 a set of 18mm and $16 a set of 1” custom hand-painted eyes.

Contact Christian at 801-906-9881 or christian@christianallred.com for more ­information

CHARLEY HAFEN J E W E L E R S GA L L E RY

801.521.7711 1409 SOUTH 900 EAST

• WWW.CHARLEYHAFEN.COM

Ward & Child, The Garden Store

Right in the center of Salt Lake City is the hidden oasis of Ward & Child, The Garden Store. Owners Jerry Stanger and Rob McFarland have created an inspirational garden space and a beautiful store with outdoor-inspired items.

“We have a passion for beautiful gardens and we have been the source for many green thumbs in the Salt Lake area,” they said.

But the don’t rest on their laurels in the colder season. They have become a destination for holiday decor and gift items, exquisitely displayed inside their large, meandering store.

We spent over an hour taking these photos and many more, as everything caught our eye. On the next page is a sampling of what we found: Clockwise: Glass ornaments, which come in a variety of hues, $8 and up.

GurglePot gurgling stoneware pitchers in a wide range of colors, $45. Tall Santas, $123–137. They have a ton of throw pillows, including Christmas-themed pillows, ranging from $20 to $132. Dog bone ornaments, $9. Wall-mounted reindeer head, $220. Heart-shaped wall sculptures of various sizes, $44–187.

Large leaf face planter, $161 filled with select pine branches, $6. Huge stone fountain, $382 surrounded by lush succulent plants. Glass signs with numerous sayings, $66–86. Large cast stone meditating frog, $161.

They have a large assortment of Polish and German glass ornaments, a wall full of Ita;y’s Miho Unexpected Things reindeer heads, vases, lamps, chairs and other furniture.

Stop in and say hi to Jerry and Rob. They are almost always there at 678 S. 700 East and online at gardenstoresaltlake.com. Q

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 39

40 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Holiday Gift Guide BUY LOCAL/BUY GAY people's market

7th annual holiday market of truly handmade Two Saturdays in December

December 14th & 21st 12:00 noon 8:00 p.m.

Trolley Square (south entrance)

unique products from local artisans

SUPPORT OUR PARTNERS

CRACKED LOOKING-GLASS CRAFTS sells handmade leatherwork with a lot of steampunk leanings.

Some of Davey’s specialties include goggles, hats, bags, and masks which have found homes around the world. He sells both readymade pieces, as well as offering custom work to create that perfect item for you. The best place to buy and see his work is olorle.etsy.com where you can also contact him about custom orders.

QUAC 2014 ­CALENDARS The men and women of QUAC have gotten together again to create a custom 2014 calendar.

These are fun for the office, the kitchen, or for a gift. Supplies are limited so order early before the holidays. Order at bit.ly/ quac2014 for $15 plus postage/handling.

We support the UCCC Winter Market on November 30th (1355 W. 3100 S.)

fun & fr lic consignment shop y o u r r e n e w a b l e r e s o u r c e f o r f u n - l o v i n g , e a s y - l i v i n g g e a r, c l o t h i n g & a c c e s s o r i e s

Holiday shopping done Earth-friendly & locally All jewelery 10% off Dec. 1st-24th. Gift certificates available.

Includes all vintage & local, handcrafted jewelry

801.487.6393 2066 South 2100 East - SLC

info on the web @

myfunandfrolic.com

facebook @ “fun & frolic consignment shop”

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 41

42 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A&E It’s been

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Pearl — the new gem of Salt Lake’s lesbian and bi women

years since queer women in Salt Lake have had social events that cater to the entire lesbian and female bisexual community. “Pearl” refers to the new company that has already scheduled monthly events throughout 2014, including Casino Night, the Pink Pub Crawl, speed dating, theme parties, and a Butch/Femme Ball. Pearl will be listing details for each event as they become available on their Facebook page, “Pearl – Events for Women who Love Women.”

Through Pearl, lesbian and bi women of all ages will now have a centralized place to go for fun and socializing, starting with the Black & White Soirée, Jan. 4, 2014.

This 7 p.m. to midnight event at the Complex will feature a swanky night of socializing, and will include a raffle, hors d’oeuvres, a photo booth, spoken word, a full cash bar, live music and dancing.

Emceeing the soirée will be spoken-word artist, Tami Porter-Jones. Headlining the evening will be former members of The Vision, including Secily, Joel, and Kenyatta.

These musicians have numerous accolades between them, including playing drums for

Deer Valley Resort, Riverhorse on Main

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Janet Jackson, acting as music director for the School of Rock, and performing with high-profile bands such as the Debi Graham Band and Ladysugar.

Pearl is the brainchild of community member, Lynda Lee, of Clothesline Productions. Lee moved to Salt Lake from Wisconsin in 1989 and has participated in and volunteered for numerous LGBTQ community events over the years. Lynda has been a business owner since 1992, doing graphic design work, but has recently become motivated to return to her passion: event management. Armed with a master’s degree in Sports Marketing and years of experience organizing events, Lee says she is anxious to dive into that realm once again. “My passion has always been event management; creating events and experiences that make people smile; enhance their lives; and manufacture lifelong memories.” Q

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 43

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

Nov. 22- Dec. 1

Thurs-Sat 8pm / Sun 6pm Tickets $23+ a musical lovingly ripped off from the motion picture

MONTY PYTHON and the Holy Grail Presented by The Ziegfeld Theatre Company

H O L I D AY S H O W !

TRIBUTE TO THE MAN IN BLACK

Jackson Dec. 20-22 Tickets $23+

Fri-Sat. 8pm/Sun. 6pm

T H E AT R E

328 Main Street, Park City

ParkCityShows.com

435.649.9371

44 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Funny Girl Sarah Silverman talks HBO special, Miley and gay jokes

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

There’s

nothing too taboo for Sarah Silverman. Not

AIDS, not poop.

And in her 20-year career — which began in 1993 with a spot on _Saturday Night Live_, and then led to a hit comedy special, Jesus is Magic, and her own sitcom, The Sarah Silverman Program — the comedian has established herself as one of the ballsiest voices of our time.

With an all-new HBO special, We Are Miracles, Silverman caught up with us to talk about crushing on Patti LuPone, being “older and wiser and dumber” and the meaning of life.

I saw a children’s book the other day called “Why Dogs Eat Poop.” Guess who it reminded me of? Aww, was it me?

Of course it was you. I knew it was either gonna be me or Helen Mirren.

Your comedy special, We Are Miracles, sounds very inspiring.

Will we be inspired? Yeah, I hope that you’ll leave that show completely changed. Just kidding. I mean, maybe a little bit.

But probably not.

What can you say about the special? All I can say is that the special is mind-blowing and lifechanging for the viewer.

It’s just a really honest reflection — either literally or figuratively — of where I’m at right now, just in my life.

Not that it’s autobiographical at all — it’s still lies — but it’s just what I’m into now. Like, I’m

older and wiser and dumber.

It’s different than my first special.

It doesn’t digress into other videos or things. There’s a scene at the beginning and at the end but besides that it’s just the live performance. It’s just the standup special with a teeny-tiny audience — just 39 people.

Tell me there will be poop jokes. Why of course, baby! There’s at least one.

You attract all sorts of people. It’s so weird that I have such a random and eclectic demographic, like the old, the young, the gay, the gayer.

And your style of satirical comedy, where you make fun of just about every group of people, seems to have the ability to unite people. When you look out at your audiences, do you feel that way too? Aww, yeah. Half of it is the energy in the room. It’s like sometimes you listen to Howard Stern and you might think he sounds like he’s being really mean, but if you’re in the studio and you saw the mischievous smile on his face, it’s a totally different thing going on.

What’s your special ritual before you hit the stage? I write out a set list and yell at myself for waiting to the last minute. And I have a sugar-free Red Bull.

No sugar? No. There are drugs they put in it. Whatever it is. It’s the “limitless” pill.

Oh god, I want the limitless pill so bad.

Have you ever felt badly or regretted a joke you made? Yeah, I never wanna make anyone feel bad, but I also know that’s not possible. Everyone who watches comedy, they’re watching in the context of their own life experience, so you don’t know what’s gonna catch someone.

Just recently the tables were turned and you were hurt by some age jokes during The Roast of James Franco on Comedy Central. I wanna be so protec-

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

tive of the rules of the roast, which is that there are none and that anything goes — and I protect that. I would never want to change anything that was said. It just was separate from the roast, and I said brutal things — that’s just how it is. But it’s separate from that. It just illuminated things for me in my life, and you’re right — it is just like that. In the context of my life, that stuck. It’s like, I had feelings! But I still loved it. And I feel like I’m better for it because it forced me to deal with stuff. You know, Jonah (Hill) said the same thing. He said, “Everything that is my biggest fear in life was said tonight and I lived through it,” so there’s something cathartic about it as well.

Did it make you rethink your approach to comedy and how something you say could offend someone, as well? No, no, no. First of all, I don’t talk about specific people in general. I mean, not as a rule, but I don’t tend to in my stand-up.

Roast is a very specific thing.

You push buttons, though.

When does a gay joke become offensive? Well, what is a gay joke? Where, like, homosexuality is the joke? Is the punchline? I don’t see that a lot right now. That’s in an ugly past. Hopefully perceptions are finally changing with these fucking idiots.

How much thought goes into what you wear onstage? Very little. I find an outfit I feel comfortable in — or that I did well in (laughs) — and I just wear it until I have to wash it.

I’m just kidding. I do laundry.

You do your own laundry? I do, actually. I’m in a building, so I don’t even have my own washer and dryer. There’s just one for every floor. It’s me ... and people’s maids.

If comedy didn’t exist, what would you be doing with your life? I’d work with chimps

and apes and monkeys — be a Dian Fossey type. I mean, I’d want to, like, always be by a really nice bathroom. So, close to Dian Fossey but with a nice place to stay.

You’ll soon star alongside Patti LuPone on HBO’s People in New Jersey, which is being produced by Lorne Michaels. Oh my god! I don’t even know what to say about Patti LuPone. She’s everything you could dream of and so much more. I knew I was a huge fan. I knew I was excited.

But she is the most awesome.

She is so cool, she’s so funny and her improv skills are crazy. I mean, I couldn’t keep it together. She’s the coolest. I think I have a crush on her.

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 45

Make a Seamless First Impression

And she’s gonna be your mother. How does it feel living the dream of every gay man on earth? It feels so right.

OK, the lightning round. Holy shit.

Lady Gaga or Katy Perry? Katy Perry. I just like “Firework.” I love that song.

So good. And “Roar” — I like “Roar,” too! I love any kind of anthemic music.

Is “Roar” your pre-show pump up song? (Laughs) Honestly, for a while, it was.

Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana? Miley Cyrus. I mean, I love “The Climb” and “Party in the U.S.A.,” but I’m interested in what she’s doing now. She’s expressing herself.

She’s got the right to express herself. She’s 20 or something.

It’ll be interesting to see where it leads.

Eminem or Coolio? No Doubt.

What’s the meaning of life? I don’t know, but it involves Nerds Rope.

Any last words? No. Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www. chris-azzopardi.com.

ScienceDaily reported Sept 22, 2008 that people who had Botox treatments made a better first impression for attractiveness and dating and athletic success.

Entrust your skin to a board-certified dermatologist, Dr. Douglas M. Woseth, Fellow of the American Academy of Dermatology

Douglas M. Woseth, MD, FAAD

General, Surgical and Cosmetic Dermatology

1548 East 4500 South, Suite 202 Salt Lake City, Utah 84117

801-266-8841

www.dwoseth.com

46 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Salt Lake Men’s Choir to perform holiday concert

Affordable STD screenings at Planned Parenthood. Walk in.

1.800.230.PLAN PPAU.ORG facebook.com/ppacofutah

JEFF WILLIAMS 801 .971.6287 801.

717 S 300 W, STE. D, SLC

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As with every December over the past 31 years, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir will present their Christmas concert of holiday favorites. Titled “Welcome Christmas,” the concert will include a wide variety of songs, from “African Star Carol” to the Irish “Wexford Carol.” “Cold and Fugue Season” is a clever parody on Bach’s famous “Fugue in G Minor” that will have the audience in stitches. The haunting “The Darkest Midnight in December” is a great contrast to the wacky title song “Welcome Christmas,” that the Whos of Whoville sang in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

The choir’s musical director is Dennis McCracken. Returning to the piano and organ is Aaron Flood. Steven Gray will also be conducting a few of

the songs as the choir’s new assistant musical director.

Tickets can be purchased on their website or from any choir member for $10. The show is general admission, and tickets can be used at any of the three performances. The Sunday show is generally the largest attended, so showing up early will get the best seat.

Once again, concert-goers are asked to bring a nonperishable food item to be donated to the Utah AIDS Foundation Food Bank.

WHEN: Friday, Dec. 13 and Saturday, Dec. 14, 7:30 p.m.; and Sunday, Dec. 15, 4 p.m.

WHERE: First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East TICKETS: $10, ­SaltLakeMensChoir.org and any choir member

WH E R E ART H I STORY I S MAD E

Tala Madani

Below

ARTIST-IN-RESIDENCE GROUP SHOW

A survey of animated paintings by the winner of the Catherine Doctorow Prize for Contemporary Painting.

OCT 4 – JAN 4

O-Town Arts CREATING ABSENCE

A group show that explores spatial relationships and imagined environments.

OCT 4 – NOV 23

AUG 16 - NOV 23

20 S WEST TEMPLE | TUE – THU & SAT 11 AM – 6 PM • FRI 11 AM – 9 PM | FREE ADMISSION | utahmoca.org

2011 2012 2013

dies! a L y e H d New Bran Lake’s to Saltl Scene!

Socia

“FIRST SATURDAY” 2014 Events January 4 Black & White Soirée February 1 Casino Night March 1 Speed Dating & Tie One On April 5 ‘Pearl Jam’ Acoustic Showcase May 3 Pink Pub Crawl June 6 (Friday) Pride Spectacular July 5 Glitter Night

Pearl

Events for Women Who Love Women

Soirée

presents their first ever...

Black White and

Pearl

Events for Women Who Love Women

JANUARY 4Th

• Saturday, • 7pm-midnight

• the Vibe @ the Complex • 536 W. 100 S., SlC

*at the door

25

$

Sponsored by

Formal attire • Cash Bar • raFFle • Photo Booth * includes 2 drink tickets - hors d’oeuvres - dancing - live music RSVP on Facebook @ “Pearl - Events for Women who Love Women”

August 2 70’s Theme Party September 6 Oktoberfest October 4 Tah Tah Celebration November 1 Butch/Femme Ball December 6 Naughty or Nice Party

Featuring music by Secily Saunders & former members of “The Vision”

MC & Spoken Word Artist Tami Porter-Jones

48 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

interview

Frontman Brendon Urie on hot dudes, bisexuality and being naked ‘all the time’

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

After years

of speculation, Brendon Urie is coming out as ... “a straight dabbler”?

Panic! at the Disco’s glam frontman, who celebrates bisexuality on the band’s single “Girls/Girls/Boys” from their fourth LP Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!, opens up in our recent chat about his curious past with men and finding himself “attracted to dudes all the time.”

What inspired “Girls/Girls/ Boys”? Like every song on this record, the song is very autobiographical. Just very honest and very confessional about exactly how I feel. The biggest sum-

marization of the whole song in general is in the lyric “Love is not a choice,” which I completely believe.

I’m proud of who I am and I’m gonna act accordingly. It’s really kind of loosely based on the majority of relationships I’ve been in, even now with my wife. Yeah, she’s attracted to girls, and I think some men are extremely attractive and I don’t wanna hide it. I have no shame in it. I like being able to shed some light on that. It’s nice to be able to open up like that.

You basically answered my next question: Was this song inspired by a relationship with a bisexual woman? (Laughs) It was! I’ve been in these

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

scenarios and I just find that attractive.

Maybe not just the bisexuality, but the openness and the honesty that one can accomplish by just knowing, “This is me, this is who I am.” It’s so attractive to have that kind of confidence.

Would you call the song a bisexual anthem? I mean, that’s a bold statement, but I’d be honored to call it a bisexual anthem – that’s kind of awesome. I feel like [bisexuality] needs to be celebrated, because a lot of times I feel like people are ashamed and they hide it and they might be a little scared to open up about it. Being able to do that is a big step for me.

Gay rumors about you have been circulating since the beginning of your career.

And last year you tweeted, “Everyone’s a little gay.” Do you truly believe that for yourself and for other people?

Oh yeah, definitely. It’s natural. I find myself being attracted to dudes all the time. I’m like, “Wow, that’s a beautiful man.” There’s no shame in it; that’s how I feel. To stifle that would probably bring on stress and probably make somebody homophobic.

How do you label yourself sexually, then? I guess if I had to classify myself, I’d say I’m straight. But I have, in the past, experimented in other realms of homosexuality and bisexuality. Overall I’m more attracted to women. Like with my wife, I’m just so insanely in love and attracted to my wife that I go, “Well, OK, my love of musicals can’t trump that I love pussy.”

(Laughs) A straight dabbler? Yeah, sure. It’s fun to dabble!

What’s it about D’Angelo’s music video for “Untitled (How Does It Feel)” that made you want to pay tribute to it in the “Girls/Girls/Boys” video? When I first saw that video, I was pretty young — I think I was 12 years old — but I don’t even know if it was something sexual. At that point I was just more mesmerized by how bold it was. I was like, “This guy is so confident that he has no problem being naked.” I did like his pants and how low they’d go. It got real close to seeing his junk. Something about it was so open and so just naked … not just physically but figuratively. He’s really opening himself up to be that comfortable in front of the camera.

This song was such a vulnerable song that I felt it just made sense to do something like that.

Are you as comfortable with being naked as you look in the video? Oh yeah. Right now I’m naked. I’m naked all the time. If I’m home, I’m naked. (Laughs) So you’re at home now? No … I’m walking through a grocery store, totally naked.

(Laughs) How aware are you that both women and men are swooning over this video? Are you getting salacious tweets? How does your wife feel about all this? (Laughs) I’ve gotten a couple. My wife was on set, actually. She was helping to oil me up! My wife is the coolest. She’s so down to let me do whatever crazy thing pops in my head. It’s kind of amazing.

But I’ve gotten tweets from fans, and it’s flattering. They’re like, “Your video is so hot.” I’m just a skinny white dude. I’m not built. I’m not some supermodel dude. I’m just a normal dude. And I feel it’s flattering in a way, and also surprising — you think it’s sexy? Really? I was just spoofing a video that I really love, but it’s nice to get some good feedback.

Thank your wife for me please. (Laughs) I thank her every day.

You guys are known for putting on a pretty gay show. It’s been about 10 years since you referred to your former bandmate Ryan Ross as your lover and chased him across the stage, trying to kiss him.

What’s gay about the latest show? We have this thing we call “stage gay” where I become a different person on stage. I think I can say the same for the rest of the band: We become just a character, a different person on stage, and you treat every situation accordingly. So you get close to somebody on stage and there’s sexual tension and you’re all of a sudden this cocky person running around on stage. I like to bring that person to the character I play on stage.

It’s also just very flamboyant. Our costumes are pretty amazing. Some very flamboyant shiny, sparkly clothing. I have a pinkish, rose-gold jacket that’s my favorite thing ever. I gotta gay it up a bit.

What about the heavy eye makeup?

When’s that making a comeback? I miss the makeup, actually. I’ve been looking at ideas in the past couple of months to not replicate what we’ve done in the past but to do something new and different, because I do miss wearing the makeup.

You’ve always prided yourself on being

A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 49

pretty odd. What do you find so weird about yourself? I always roll paper, which is a weird thing. I mean, I can roll a really good joint ... but all day I’m just rolling bits of paper. My wife is impressed by it.

She’s like, “Wow, these are perfectly rolled pieces of paper. Tightly packaged like a toothpick.”

Maybe you have a second career in origami. (Laughs) Maybe! I should look into that.

What’s on your iPod that would surprise people? Let’s see what I have here. This might actually surprise me. We’ve got Ace of Base. Gotta have Ace of Base. Here’s a funny one: OMC’s “How Bizarre.” I have weird one-hit wonders from the ’90s. Oh, and I’ve got Aqua. Definitely got Aqua.

And show tunes, right? I have a whole folder! I’ve got Li’l Abner and Cabaret. I have The Sound of Music!

What accounts for the shift in sound on Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die!, an album that meanders from your theatrical flourishes as of late and goes electropop? I was spending a good amount of time going to clubs and just watching people dance — things I really never did in the past — and going to Vegas, where I grew up, and just spending time at nightclubs. Basically not being the cynical hipster with the beer in the corner and actually joining in and being one of the people that I would’ve made fun of in the past. It’s liberating in a way. I wanted to make a record like that. I wanted to make a party record. One that got me excited.

One that I felt could excite people to get up and dance — and dance like no one’s watching. And to celebrate life.

What inspired the nod to Janet Jackson with the “are you nasty?” line on the song “Miss Jackson”? A lot of times my samples are stolen from a place of admiration. With the “Miss Jackson” line, I was watching Janet Jackson’s “Nasty” and, when she gets out of that car and says that line, I’m just like, “Ahh, it’s so good!”

I don’t know why I love it so much, but I love it. I just started having the best time dancing around, singing that.

You were naked when this all went down, weren’t you? Chances are that yes, I was naked. (Laughs) Q Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

50 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FOOD&DRINK

dining guide

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

CAFE SUPERNATURAL Trolley Square 600 E Side 801-363-1000 Quick cuisine using as much local and organically grown ingredients as possible.

With a 100% plant-based and 100% gluten-free menu, the community can enjoy a refreshing meal and drink to stay or on the go.

Live Organic Vegetarian Gluten Free Food

Try Our Bean Burrito!

2148 Highland Drive

801-486-0332

www.omarsrawtopia.com

DEL MAR AL LAGO 2260 S 300 W 801-467-2890 This Peruvian cebicheria is great Salt Lake secret.

Serving a dozen different types of cebiche, they also specialize in other Peruvian favorites, like lomo saltado.

Don’t pass up the creative cocktails and especially dessert.

EGGS IN THE CITY 1675 E 1300 S 801-581-0809 Breakfast or lunch in a friendly, warm and hip environment. The converted garage is now a stylish, enticing eatery. Try the eggs Benedict, French toast, custom-tailored omelets, huevos rancheros or cheese blintzes for breakfast.

FINN’S CAFE 1624 S 1100 E 801-467-4000 Family owned and operated for 62 years, Finn’s Cafe has been a large part of Utah’s fine dining heritage, specializing in both Norwegian and traditional dishes for breakfast and lunch. Full barista bar, fresh squeezed juices, and in-house bakery.

OFF TRAX  offtraxslc.com 259 W 900 S 801-364-4307 Home of the Happy Hangover. Breakfast, lunch.

Sunday brunch and weekend after-hours. Gay-owned and operated. Next to Club Try-Angles.

OMAR’S RAWTOPIA DUAL OPENING RECEPTION DEC 6TH: 7 – 9 PM Artist Discussion | Refreshments | No Admission Fee

 omarsrawtopia.com 2148 S Highland Dr 801-486-0332 Omar prepares all raw, live and organic food from scratch with absolute love to create amazing food that is powerfully healing for your mind, body, and spirit.

SAGE’S CAFE

Stephanie Leitch

Spy Hop

A site specific installation that explores the space between architecture and gravity.

Exploring a milestone that ushers in a new sphere of knowledge, experience and possibility.

DEC 6 – FEB 22

DEC 6 – JAN 4

UNTITLED APOGEE

FIFTEEN

234 W 900 S 801-322-3790 Your favorite vegetarian restaurant is moving to Ninth South with a slough of other owner-operated, locally owned restaurants.

Watch for their reopening in December.

SQUATTERS PUB BREWERY 2 0 S W E S T T E M P L E • S LC U T 8 4 1 0 1 | U TA H M O C A . O R G T U E – T H U & S AT 1 1 A M – 6 P M • F R I 1 1 A M – 9 P M

 squatters.com 147 W 300 S

801-363-2739 Salt Lake’s original brew pub featuring awardwinning fresh brewed beers, lunch, dinner and weekend brunch. Private banquet facilities available.

SQUATTERS ROADHOUSE GRILL & PUB  www.squatters.com 1900 Park Ave, Park City 435-649-9868 Park City’s brewpub features breakfast, lunch and dinner daily and is a full liquor licensee, serving both Squatters and Wasatch Beers.

VERTICAL DINER 2280 S West Temple 801-484-8378 Vegan diner serving downhome comfort food and breakfast all day. Specialties include fried faux chicken, blueberry pancakes, and hand cut french fries. Also serving fair trade coffee, tea, chocolate, and more.

WASATCH BREW PUB  wasatchbeers.com 250 Main, Park City 435-645-0900 At the top of Main Street and a local favorite since 1989, Wasatch Brew Pub serves lunch, dinner and weekend brunch, along with award winning beers and full liquor service. Private banquet facilities available.

ZEST KITCHEN & BAR 275 S 200 W 801-433-0589 Zest kitchen & bar melds healthy food and fresh, hand crafted drinks within a modern, social environment.

Vegan, vegetarian, glutenfree food made with locally sourced, fresh ingredients.

A full service bar featuring hand crafted cocktails with one of the largest selections of locally produced wines and beers; and live music, deejays, and dancing.

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

FOR PEOPLE TO COME IN AND HAVE A BITE TO EAT. COFFEE BURGERS SANDWICHES SOUPS SALADS APPETIZERS BREAKFAST BRUNCH POOL TABLE VIDEO GAMES OPEN Mon-Thur 8a–6p Friday 7a-3p AND After Bar Closing Fridays and Saturdays

259 W 900 S 801 364-4307

www.offtraxslc.com

FOOD&DRINK | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 51

Next to Club Try-Angles, Half Block from TRAX in the NEW Gayborhood!

Home of the Happy Hangover Sunday Brunch 11am–2pm Q PON

Free Soda or Coffee with food purchase

Opening December 5!!

52 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | PETS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Pet Month of the

Adopt ’Til You Drop!

Mia

Adoption Specials all over Utah Right now, shelters are filled with amazing pets, including puppies, kittens, purebreds and mixed breeds of all types.

So skip the pet store and adopt the one who’s right for you!

To find the nearest shelter or rescue group, visit or website.

Together we can Save Them All.

bestfriends.org/utahadoptions

Best Friends-Utah has their very own “Accidental Tourist.” She’s a beautiful, soft, lovable little girl named Mia, and she traveled all the way from Santa Barbara, via Kanab, to join our program. She simply amazed everyone who helped her with her unflinching patience and good nature (she was much better behaved on her long drives than I would have been), and now she’s back here looking for a wonderful family who will love and protect her forever. Mia is an outgoing lady who seems to accept whatever environment she finds herself in and cautiously starts to explore and evaluate everything around her. When she meets a new per-

son, though, she’s instantly their friend and graciously accepts all the petting and loving they give her. She especially enjoys having her head rubbed, although not so much her back and tummy it gets her excited to play.

Mia gets along with older, gentle kids but really doesn’t get along with dogs and can be selective with her feline friends.

She would do best in a home with enough space to call her own. We know she’ll thrive in a quiet, adult/older kids environment with a family who will treat her gently, give her lots and lots of attention and affection and let her take her time settling into her new home.

Contact Best Friends adoption center specialists at 801-574-2440 or email utahadoptions@bestfriends.org

fun & fr lic consignment shop y o u r r e n e w a b l e r e s o u r c e f o r f u n - l o v i n g , e a s y - l i v i n g g e a r, c l o t h i n g & a c c e s s o r i e s

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SCAN TO FIND US ON FACEBOOK

54 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | COMICS

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

anagram AN ANAGRAM IS A WORD OR PHRASE THAT CAN BE MADE USING THE LETTERS FROM ANOTHER WORD OR PHRASE. REARRANGE THE LETTERS BELOW TO ANSWER:

Local organization

REND THERAPEUTIC

____ _____ ______

cryptogram A CRYPTOGRAM IS A PUZZLE WHERE ONE LETTER IN THE PUZZLE IS SUBSTI-

JANE’S WORLD

TUTED WITH ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! HAS THE SOLUTION: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE ES ARE ALL REPLACED

BY CS. THE PUZZLE IS SOLVED BY RECOGNIZING LETTER PATTERNS IN WORDS AND SUCCESSIVELY SUBSTITUTING LETTERS UNTIL THE SOLUTION IS REACHED. THIS WEEK’S HINT: X=T

Theme: Richard Caswell, a.k.a.

Vito Gallo, who was thrown in jail after he barged into Michael Lucas’s studio last month, said:

GAHBPFK YPFO XT LHPU PNF’X PIAHU. _______ ____

__

____ ___’_ ____.

PUZZLE ANSWERS ON PAGE 62

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

COMICS | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 55

56 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution which can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits 1 through 9 into

Q doku

Each Sudoku puzzle has a unique solution canone be reached logicalthe blank spaces.

Every row mustwhich contain of each digit, as ly without guessing.

Enter digits through 9 into the blankisspaces.

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Qdoku actually five row must contain one of each digit, as must each column and each 3x3 separate, but connected, Sudoku square. Qdoku is actually five separate, butpuzzles. connected, Sudoku puzzles.

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gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

4

6 5 9

2 7 4 1 3 8

7 8

3 5

1 2 3

4

7

BY SAM MILLS

1

9 7 2 4 1 6 9 7 9 1 5 8 2 3 5 5 3 4 9 4 3 8 7 9 9 6 8 1 5 6 9 7 8 4 5 7 2 1 3 9 1 1 2 5 8 2 5 7 9 1 3 4 7 6 7 8 3 9 5 9 5 7 2 2 6 3 7 3 2 9 4 4 3 1

people's market

7th annual holiday market of truly handmade Two Saturdays in December

December 14th & 21st 12:00 noon 8:00 p.m.

Trolley Square (south entrance)

unique products from local artisans

SUPPORT OUR PARTNERS

We support the UCCC Winter Market on November 30th (1355 W. 3100 S.)

q scopes ARIES March 20–April 19 Though you may feel as though you are running on a treadmill lately, rest assured that you are actually going somewhere. There is much to be gained by your current situation. A period of meditation will do you good. Focus your mind and work on yourself for a change.

TAURUS Apr 20–May 20 A bothersome matter will feel like a big load, distracting you being focused on your work.

Deal with this matter quickly and you’ll garner some relief. A neighbor or acquaintance may want to know you better. Be friendly but don’t feel bad if your relations don’t progress much.

GEMINI May 21–June 20 A stranger may entice you with some interesting information. Try to keep your mind open to new possibilities. Friends will gather around as the fun times commence, but try to keep some perspective; don’t blow all your resources on one activity. Keep smiling with prejudice.

CANCER June 21–July 22 The longer you wait to express your feelings, the more your feelings could change. Be confident in your beliefs but don’t be trapped by them. You’ve always been flexible and willing to bend over backward for a friend. Helping others in need will provide new perspectives.

LEO July 23–August 22 The farther along you go, the farther you have to walk back. Don’t make commitments you aren’t able to fulfill. It may hurt to say “no” sometimes, but it’s always better than breaking a promise.

Family will provide some great laughs and cheer. Keep your commitments to them.

VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 Ride the waves to better dreams. Strict determination will get you to where you want to be. There is a taxing person in your life that seems to be holding you back, but is really trying to help. Listen to all advice but keep your eyes

on the prize no matter what.

LIBRA Sept 23–October 22 There is a mystery around your current agenda, Libra.

While taking action is desired, you aren’t sure what path you should take. Feel your way through a tight situation and you’ll come out on top.

A neat experience will provide you some awe.

SCORPIO Oct. 23–Nov. 21 This could be a good time to detach from your burdens.

The need to break free is nagging at you but don’t be too hasty. Look for a career opportunity or consider starting a business. Resolutions are the first step to getting exactly what you want.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22– December 20.

The long way has always been your way whether you’d like to admit it or not, Sagittarius. The time for swift action may come sooner than you think. Don’t hesitate to make a quick decision, but don’t act unless it feels right. Help others find their true peace (if you can).

CAPRICORN Dec. 21– Jan. 19 Don’t shy away from controversy. A really exciting time could lead to new beginnings. Friends or family will always be there as long as you aren’t reckless. This doesn’t mean not speaking your mind.

Stirring the pot will lead to some colorful emotional discoveries for all involved.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18 Sometime you fear what you don’t understand. Sometimes you don’t understand what you fear.

This would be a great time to get in touch with your inner child and rediscover your belief system. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.

Grab life by the handles and ride into new territories.

PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 The best way to discover happiness is let it find you.

It’s important that you be observant of your feelings during this time.

Enjoy time with everyone you care about. A friend could decide that you mean more to them than you realized. Don’t be afraid to explore possibilities. Q

CROSSWORD | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 57

december, 2013 | issue 225

Prince and Princess Royale 38 cordially invite you to

A Sparkling Snowflake Soirée Please join us for a sparkling night of beauty and entertainment.

The night will feature a cocktail hour from 5–6pm, a delicious dinner from 6–7pm and a truly magical set of entertainment, and silent auction until the night ends.

Dude Looks Like a Lady

44 What comes to mind 45 Dawson’s Creek ACROSS characters 1 With 56-Across, 46 Give a chit Today Halloween 48 PBS relative character of 2004 50 Personal-ad info 6 The African Queen 51 With 71-Across, author Today Halloween 10 Last year’s frosh character of 2000 14 Socrates’ market 56 See 1-Across 15 Cold feet 58 Uranian, for example 16 Scarlett’s plantation 59 Mead studied them 17 Guitarist Eddie Van on Samoa ___ DOWN 18 Turned tail 1 “Poppycock!”

20 Where to slap a 2 Palindromic title football player on 3 Virginia Woolf, to the butt? many writers 22 Frida’s husband 4 Cara of Fame 23 With 25-Across, 5 Adam of I Now Today Halloween Pronounce You Chuck character of 2013 and Larry 25 See 23-Across 6 Do style 27 Gielgud’s john 7 Susan’s partner in 28 FabergÈ objet Thelma and Louise 30 Business mag 8 Gone from the 31 Hot blood platter 33 About 9 Pull a boner 36 Bubbly home 10 Where both gays 40 Brady Bunch prefix and straights go 41 Matt, who portrayed down the 3 women of this 11 One of the “Maneatpuzzle’s theme er” singers 42 Q-Tip, for one 12 Rag˙ alternative 43 Neighbor of Senegal 13 Wore

19 Adam and Steve’s locale?

21 Go the other way 23 Colorless watery fluid 24 Vital carrier 26 Contemporary Christian 29 Cattleman’s tool 32 Willa Cather classic 34 Feel sorry for 35 ___ Saves the Worled 37 Spa? 38 Brando’s last one was in Paris 39 Dramatist Henrik 41 Willingly 45 Of little consequence 47 Air force 49 First letter of the Fword, for Socrates?

51 Billy Elliot portrayer Bell 52 Tickle pink 53 Actor Williamson 54 Cause of “bed death” 55 Police actions at Stonewall 57 Slow, to Saint-Saens 60 Bit of business 62 Ann Bannon’s ___ Girl Out 64 Suffix with Paul 65 Remarks, slangily ANSWERS ON PAGE 62

Save the date 12/15/2013 Club Mixx, Salt Lake $15 in advance (includes a special raffle ticket) $20 at the door All proceeds benefit the PWA Christmas Fund.

For more information or to purchase your ticket, please contact us at www.rcgse.org

58 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | TRANSGENDER

World AIDS Day 2013: Getting to Zero

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

Q Health

BY LYNN BELTRAN

Dec. 1,

2013, marks the 26th World AIDS Day — a commemorative that began in 1988 to raise awareness about the pandemic that is HIV. For more than 30 years, this pandemic has been stigmatized and misunderstood, where rates of new infection have waxed and waned, and where long-term prognoses have progressed from an almost certain death sentence to a chronic disease.

World AIDS Day is a time to remember those that we have lost and to encourage those whose lives continue to be affected; it is a time to look forward, to plan and to hope for a cure and a future with no new infections.

The World Health Organization estimates that over one million people in the U.S. are living with HIV. We know that over 2,500 Salt Lake County residents are HIV positive.

The theme for World AIDS Day 2013 is “Getting to Zero,” as was the theme in 2011 and 2012, and as will be the theme in 2014 and 2015. The consistency of this particular theme is designed to send a strong message — to say that we can get to zero and to recognize that we all need to work together in order to get there.

We can start where we already are and with what we already know. We know exactly how HIV is transmitted how it is not transmitted. This is a vast improvement from the early days of HIV. Yet our rates of new infection are currently increasing, particularly as compared to the 1990s. There seems to be a disconnect between the physical science that tells us exactly how to prevent HIV — namely condoms — and the social science around

what people are willing to do to protect themselves and their partners.

Condoms have become increasingly unpopular to many within the MSM community and the HIV-positive community. Many men feel that they simply cannot be expected to use condoms during sex for the rest of their lives. Instead, they are simply asking their sexual partners about their HIV status, or are relying on the HIV status listed on a website user profile. This is not an effective prevention method, as many people do not feel comfortable disclosing their HIV-positive status, and it’s leading to dishonesty and an increase in feeling stigmatized about having HIV in the MSM community.

We also know that HIV antiretroviral drugs are very effective in keeping infected people healthy and preventing them from developing opportunistic infections and advancing to AIDS. Seeing an HIV provider regularly is a critical part of this. Yet, we are now seeing in some areas only a small percentage of diagnosed HIV patients are actively seeking care and staying on antiretrovirals.

One of the CDC’s newest prevention strategies focuses on HIV treatment as prevention. The idea stems from the HIV antiretrovirals that are designed to minimize the number of copies of HIV that an HIV-positive person has; this is referred to as “viral load.” Essentially, it’s a numbers game, where the lower the amount of virus in the blood, the less likely it is to pass to someone else.

We still face many challenges with getting everyone to seek care and take their medications

regularly — and for some it is simply an economic issue. But regardless of how low the viral load, there is still the possibility that HIV can be spread.

The CDC is also touting the use of pre-exposure prophylaxis, referred to as PrEP, as a prevention plan. PrEP involves prescribing HIV antiretrovirals to the negative partners of HIV-positive individuals. The theory is that the antiretrovirals will serve as a prophylaxis by preventing the virus from completing the replication process if it is passed to the

what we have already learned from this pandemic and what those who are at risk are willing to do is the key to “getting to zero.” We have come so far and World AIDS Day 2013 is a time to reflect on our past and to look toward the future, together.

The Salt Lake County Health Department is commemorating World AIDS Day this year with three free screenings of the acclaimed documentary We Were Here at two locations in the county.

On Tuesday, Dec. 3, at 7 p.m.,

HIV-negative partner. The CDC recognizes that this plan is not for everyone and, to be effective, PrEP is to be used in combination with other prevention techniques, including condoms, monthly HIV testing and counseling, and the management of other STDs. These are all things we now know about HIV. We should use this day to celebrate what we have learned and to commemorate so many lives that have been affected. We also need to find innovative ways to impact this pandemic, because in spite of these lessons, in spite of our knowledge, HIV rates are increasing. I believe that a good marriage between

the film will be at the Salt Lake County Library’s Viridian Event Center in West Jordan.

Then on Thursday, Dec. 5, it will be screened twice at the University of Utah Olpin Student Union, at 2 p.m. and again at 7:30 p.m.

The health department is also partnering with Salt Lake County Library Services to present World AIDS Day displays in county library branches. Look for the displays and book selections in your local county library. World AIDS Day is an opportunity for us all to learn the facts about HIV, and put that knowledge into action in Salt Lake County.

For more information, call 385-468-4191.

SCENE | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 59

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

best of craigslist missed connections CREDIT UNION - M4M (STATE STREET) Saw “R” the cute guy again today at credit union. Had on bright red shirt and gray slacks.... looked great. Maybe one day this guy will say more than hello, etc. Just hoping. But, he’s very handsome, so it’s worth being in his line......and he’s nice guy to boot. Just another fun day at the CU.

HYDRATE (PURE) ON FRIDAY 11/8 - LEOPARD PANTS - M4M - 22 (SLC) You were wearing a black shirt and leopard pants and are probably the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. I danced near you for a while with my girlfriends but didn’t get a chance to talk to you unfortunately, but I would really like to if you read this. I was wearing short shorts; hopefully that sounds familiar.

If you see this, please send me an e-mail!

CABIN FEVER - M4M - 29 (TROLLEY SQUARE) Was shopping last sunday....u caught me eye! I couldnt stop looking at u cause u are so cute!

I bought a fortune card and one other thing...we talked about the pin you were wearing. And the pin suited u cause it said u were awesome! Anyway if u would ever wanna go out if u are single.

I would love to!!#!

AT SAVERS IN MIDVALE - M4M - 55 (MIDVALE) You were KJ the handsome cashier. I was the customer — my card was declined. Would like to take to you to dinner some time.

CHAD W/ DENTED BLACK DODGE PICKUP - M4M - 32 (11-12 YEARS AGO) You lived in sandy. You were out of the army. We used to hang out. I moved back to slc.Hope you see this.

LITERARY DEATHMATCH - M4M (SALT LAKE CITY) My friend and I sat next to you at the literary Deathmatch at the State Room. I really enjoyed talking to you about writing

and wishes I could have gotten to talk to you more before you left. Anyway I think you said you were in Salt Lake until Sunday so if you happen to see this and you’re interested, I’d love to grab some coffee or lunch with you before you leave.

ASHLEIGH AT PALLET - OR SHOULD I SAY JOSH ;) - W4W - 32 You waited on me just over a week ago and I was enamored.

You are charming and beautiful, and if you lean this way at all, I’d love to spend some time getting to know you.

JOB OFFER - W4W You offered to make a position just for me. I didn’t know if it’s because you were wanting me just as bad as I was wanting you or what...... I want nothing more than to have you be my boss...

But I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.

Tempt you too much.... Get us both in a lot of trouble.

Am I stupid and imagining things or do you really want me too?

SERVER AT SIZZLER, LIKED MY EARRINGS, WEEKS AGO. - W4W - 23 (SLC 700E(I THINK)) This was weeks ago. Like, maybe close to 2 months ago. You probably won’t see this. I’m terrible, and don’t remember your name >_< I was with my mom and sister.

You said you liked my earrings, and we talked about how I make them out of clay. You were so cute and nice, and seem like someone I’d love to be friends with. I had pink bangs and purple dreadlocks. I doubt you even remember me. But, if you see this, hit me up :)

ONLY AT

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SATURDAY NIGHT W4W - 31 (AREA 51) You Wore A Red Mask and Had Red And black Dreds. we Had Our Picture Taken Together. I Want To Know you Better. We Talked About tails.

Red Riding Hood.

TWITTER: THETRAPPSLC TEXT “FOLLOW THETRAPPSLC” TO 40404 FOR SMS UPDATES

60 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | A&E

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

mr. manners

Friend in love

BY ROCK MAGEN

Dear Mr. Manners, You probably realize how hard it is to find someone you can get along with, share interests, and just simply have a good time– it’s very hard! It doesn’t apply just to dating but also friendships, as making a real, good friend these days is nearly impossible. And there is another issue that arises — what to do when you start having feelings for a friend? Do you hide your feelings and work on strengthening your friendship making sure it won’t get affected by what you feel? Or do you just go with your heart, take your friendship to the next level and see where things go?

How do you approach that issue with caution? Help!

—Friend in Love

Give a Little

DEAR FRIEND IN LOVE, Looking at your predicament, I feel that you already know the two options you have. It was once explained to me that love is merely a “friendship on fire,” but I caution you to not let this fire burn out of control. A mutual attraction can be fun, but if you are feeling one way and he is feeling another, you may loose a great friend because your feelings may not be returned.

In my experience, you can never go back to before. If you jump into something and then it doesn’t work, the relationship doesn’t tend to mend. You may both try the friendship route again, but it is not the same. In the same vein I know some people who are still great friends after sex, but the

friendship has changed.

If it is meant to be, give it time. When faced with trying to decide if I really like someone, I tend to prescribe the adage, “give it four seasons and a road trip.” Have you experienced this person in all conditions and for lengths of time? Are your feelings towards this person generated through a true attraction or from giving you attention?

I do not tend to regret kisses, but there is one that I wish I could take back - a kiss from a friend. We still have a deep friendship, but if I could retract that moment I feel that our friendship would have taken a different course. I have no doubt that it would still be great, it would just be lacking the moments of confusion.

According to C.S. Lewis,” Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself...” A friend is rare. When deciding to take things to the next level, you have to decide if it is worth possibly loosing the bond you currently cultivated.

If both of you have similar feelings for each other, go for it, but if not proceed with caution! Q Email Rock at manners@qsaltlake.com

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A&E | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | 61

december, 2013 | issue 220

hear me out

LADY GAGA, ARTPOP

So much for that high-concept, post-modern ingenuity that ARTPOP promised even before Lady Gaga hawked it as the album of not the year, not the decade, but of the millennium.

This isn’t that album. Not even close. Not when it comes to the innovativeness it touted, anyway. If this is art, so is “Poker Face.” And so is dressing up in a frock made of dead cow. This is Gaga to the extreme; everything is done with more cartoonish flamboyancy, and—if it’s even possible at this point—exaggerated to the fullest. But while Born This Way was at least, despite its exhausting preachiness, an evolution that demonstrated sophisticated vanguard where self-importance at least felt musically validated, this takes three steps back. Neither as clever nor avant-garde as it thinks it is, ARTPOP is a straightforward, ’80s-fashioned electro-pop piece that, with a satirical edge, riffs on fame, drugs and other vapidness—the very themes of queen Gaga before she led her misunderstood Monsters down the road to empowerment. With B-52s camp, “Donatella” and “Fashion!” fit the homo bill, and they’re both amusing ... if you too were amused by the unintentional awesomeness of Showgirls. Part horror show, part whore show, ARTPOP is gaudy (see “Swine,” where this meat obsession of hers translates into metaphor), but it’s hard to turn away from something that tries so hard to be tacky and messy and just so ... weird. Even an R. Kelly cameo, on the “Do What U Want,” seems out there—and then it all comes together pretty perfectly. But it’s “Dope,” a rollicking power ballad that endears, and the smashing Springsteenian “Gypsy” that our Mother Monster should keep in mind next time she tries to

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Grade: BNot long into Arcade Fire’s 80-minute epic of rhythmic mythology— where themes of rebirth thrive amidst the usual sociopolitical go-tos—is an empowering statement of visibility that can’t help but be heard as a queer affirmation. With frontman Win Butler championing the oppressed, the song is called “We Exist,” but it’s not the only one that’s outcast-minded: David Bowie vibes pipe through the garage-rockery of outsider anthem “Normal Person,” a challenge to societal conformity. But the Montreal troupe doesn’t just tackle the bigger picture; they look inward and tear down their own conventions—their own “normal.” Reflektor breaks the band’s rules, abandoning the Neil Young-inspired ’70s sounds of The Suburbs, their Grammy-winning LP and last release, for an adventuresome, dance-inspired work that radically shifts from quintessential Arcade Fire. With former LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy on board as producer, Reflektor breaks into the dance-punk that is Murphy’s forte, winding up somewhere in the realm of the band’s older “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains),” an electro triumph.

Here, a frantic parade of noise simmers into a charged punk anthem on the defiant “Joan of Arc,” disco-era strings line the slow-burn of “Porno,” and “Afterlife”—with Butler and wife Régine Chassagne’s poignant exchanges, also heard on the transcendent standout “It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus)”—is a euphoric jaunt of survival on the album’s back, and better, half.

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62 | QSALTLAKE MAGAZINE | FINAL WORD

gaysaltlake.com | issue 225 | december, 2013

the perils of petunia pap smear

The tale of a foul most foul

BY PETUNIA PAP SMEAR

The road

to Third Friday Bingo with the Matrons Of Mayhem is fraught with danger and excitement.

I’m writing this column as I emerge, confused and foggy, from the veil of pain killers (triple the recommended dosage) that I found necessary to ingest last night after Third Friday Bingo.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, if truth be told, it wasn’t storming, but since the change back from daylight saving time, it was indeed dark. Dark enough to mask the here-to-fore undetected treachery and duplicitous nature of Madam Marmalade. I took little notice of the storm clouds building in the Western sky. With hindsight being 20/20, I should have recognized them as a harbinger of impending doom.

I arrived at the First Baptist Church, all perky, ready to set up the room for a night of harmless frivolity and raucous fund raising. My mood was especially elevated because I was going to debut my new purple beaded gown, which I recently purchased in Las Vegas. After a couple of hours of sweating (oh, I forgot, queens don’t sweat, we glisten) I was satisfied that the room was in order as the audience and the

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS

other Matrons of Mayhem arrived, reporting for duty.

Bingo got off to a pretty good start. However, during the course of handling my balls in the second game, I accidentally fumbled with them and made a bingo calling error, for which an overly exuberant, anal retentive, nit-picky, persnickety, fastidious audience member called a party foul on me. Due to the sadistic nature of the audience members, wishing to see a gravity-enhanced queen (of sufficient size and mass to pull small planets out of orbit) experience heart failure, made me run repeatedly from one end of the very large room to the other for five minutes, gathering up one dollar at a time. The result of this torture was that I gathered a total of $71 in the process. Similarly, during a subsequent game, Madam Marmalade also committed a party foul by spilling half the balls onto the floor, for which she gathered $61.

It was after the totals were posted on the Donation Diva Board that Madame Marmalade’s true colors of being a malicious, vindictive, cheating trollop began to reveal themselves. She grabbed a donation net pleading with the audience that she

Cryptogram: WEARING PINK TO JAIL ISN’T IDEAL.

Anagram: UTAH PRIDE CENTER

needed to gather 11 more dollars, so as to outshine me. Well, I simply could not allow this to happen, so also grabbed a net and we proceeded to divest the audience of their dollars. Marmalade, thief that she is, would not only take the offered money from the audience members, but would also reach down and steal any additional money the person had on the table. I, on the other hand, remained totally above-board and beyond reproach, accepting only those dollars which were being offered to me.

WHEN QUEENS COLLIDE: It became readily apparent that I was collecting more than she was. Unexpectedly, the bitch swooped past me, sticking her grubby little talons into my net and stole about half of the dollars I had gathered. I gave chase, but she being much smaller, younger and more nimble than I, gained the advantage and took refuge by diving onto the stage.

A hair-pulling, bitch-slapping, eye-gouging cat fight proceeded.

At least one 10 dollar bill was torn asunder in the fray.

Bongo, The Urban Jungle Boy, called a truce to the fight when he announced that Bob Henline had donated a $20 bill, and wanted to see a “real drag race” to settle the contest. I steeled myself to compete by removing my interchangeable nipples so as to lessen wind drag, and by removing my silver-sequined slippers, so that my bare feet could gather additional traction on the vinyl floor.

Bongo counted us down and we were off. I took the early lead, but I had not taken into account the fact that I was not wearing running shorts, but in fact was wearing a long skirt that did not allow room for the long strides necessary to run a race. At about the halfway point, I began to realize that my top was going faster than my bottom (apparently, there is a first time for

everything) and I began to lose my balance and pitch forward.

DRAG QUEEN DOWN: That usurping wench, Marmalade just kept on going as I hit the floor on my knees and breasticles, sliding for about 15 feet before coming to a stop. Sparks flew as the electrical breasticles gouged out new trenches in the flooring.

It’s a good thing that the force of the landing did not force me to fart, for if the methane cloud had ignited from the breasticle sparks, the whole building could have been leveled. The one true triumph of this rough landing was that the beehive hair remained in place. God bless Aqua-Net! People quickly rushed to my aid.

It wasn’t until, with enormous effort, they rolled me over, tits skyward, that my hair fell off and we discovered that my knees were bleeding and that impact of the breasticles had left a large bruise on my torso. I have now donated blood, sweat and tears (it’s my bingo and I’ll cry if I need to) to the community.

As always, these events leave us with several burning questions: 1. Should Third Friday Bingo be classified as a full-contact sport?

2. Should I wear protective pads and shields when at bingo?

3. Should I hire a private investigator to discover which audience member called the foul on me?

4. Do breasticles perform the same function as collision air bags?

5. If I had died, could someone have used the batteries in my boobs to defibrillate my heart?

6. Should I wear a medical bracelet instructing that my breasticles be removed before calling 911?

These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear.

9 2 4 5 8 6 1 7 3 3 4 8 2 9 1 7 5 6

6 8 5 3 1 7 4 2 9 7 6 2 4 5 3 1 8 9

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1 2 5 9 3 6 8 4 7 1 3 6 5 9 2 6 3 4 7 1 8

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6 8 4 5 2 7 3 9 1 2 5 7 4 6 8 1 7 9 2 3 5

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2 8 5 3 6 9 1 4 7

9 3 5 8 7 1 6 2 4 5 7 1 8 3 9 2 7 6 4 1 5

1 7 8 4 2 6 9 5 3 4 8 2 6 7 1 5 8 4 2 3 9

2 6 4 5 3 9 1 7 8 6 9 3 2 5 4 3 1 9 7 8 6

4 9 2 1 3 8 5 6 7 3 2 9 1 4 5 7 8 6

7 8 3 9 6 5 1 2 4 6 5 7 2 8 3 4 9 1

5 1 6 4 2 7 8 9 3 8 4 1 6 9 7 5 3 2

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3 6 7 8 5 2 9 4 1 7 8 6 9 1 2 3 4 5

9 2 5 6 4 1 3 7 8 4 1 3 7 5 8 2 6 9

december, 2013 | issue 225 | gaysaltlake.com

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