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salt lake magazine


October 2012 Issue 211

Real Salt Lake’s Chris Wingert finds strength in honesty


Local soccer players and bands support gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender equality PHOTO: ADAM BOUSKA, NO H8 CAMPAIGN

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4  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  NEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

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editor Seth Bracken arts & entertainment editor/ofc mgr  Tony Hobday graphic designer  Christian Allred sales Josh Jones contributors  Matt Andrus, Chris Azzopardi, Lynn Beltran, Paul Berge, Dave Brousseau, Abby Dees, Jack Fertig, Greg Fox, Charles Lynn Frost, John Hales, Bob Henline, Tony Hobday, Josh Jones, Christopher Katis, Lisa Myers, DavidElijah Nahmod, Petunia Pap Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven Petrow, Ruby Ridge, Ed Sikov, Ben ­Williams, D’Anne ­Witkowski distribution Ryan Benson, Peggy Bon, Michael Hamblin, David Kelly, Jason Van Campen publisher

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Copyright © 2012, Gay Salt Lake, Inc. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from the publisher. 15,000 copies of QSaltLake Magazine are distributed free of charge at over 300 locations across the Wasatch Front. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or photograph of any individual or organization in articles or advertising in QSaltLake Magazine is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. on recycled paper. Please recycle this copy when you are through with it.


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from the publisher

Turning 30 by Michael Aaron

You think

I’m deluding myself that I can get you to believe my headline, don’t you? But I’m talking about the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. Thirty years of a (mostly) gay male chorus in Salt Lake City. We tell people that and their eyebrows reach their hairline. But yes, it was about this time of year in 1982 when 13 men met in the living room and began rehearsals for a holiday concert. Their vision was (ad is) to sing and unite in camaraderie and friendship. In 1982 there were not a lot of avenues for gay men to meet each other other than bars and cruising places. These men wanted to build a constructive, enriching environment. They hoped their voices would build bridges of understanding between our community and those we live among. The choir’s 10th year was a pinnacle of sorts. The choir had grown tremendously and the anniversary concert was held in Abravanel Hall. Internal debates over how “out” the choir should be, among other things, caused a rift among the members. At that time, the choir was performing on Temple Square in the Assembly Hall. A splinter group formed and then died and the group has been rebuilding ever since. The 15th anniversary was a sold-out concert at All Saints Episcopal Church, where we continue to rehearse to this day. I joined the choir during its 20th year, which took the

group to Sydney, Australia, to sing in the 2002 Gay Games and Cultural Festival to a sold-out Sydney Opera House as well as the opening and closing ceremonies and venues around the city. The choir also represented the state of Utah at the Washington National Cathedral in celebration of its quadrennial Utah Day in 2005.

We will be singing our 30th anniversary concert in the temple on conference weekend. The choir quickly became a second family to me once I joined. Many people will come up after a concert and say that it’s obvious the members love each other and are having a great time producing music for the community. I have sung in every concert but one for 10 years. Some have been in the choir for all 30 years. Many for over 20 years. There is that strong of a bond that keeps singers singing with the group. Our 30th anniversary concert will be in the temple on conference weekend. Yes! We will be singing at the Masonic Temple at 650 E. South Temple on Saturday, Oct. 6. The concert is a list of audience and singer favorites from throughout the years. I hope you will come help us celebrate turning 30.


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |



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news | Issue 211 | October, 2012

10 things you should know happened last month College football player kicked off team after kissing his boyfriend A North Dakota college football player was booted off his team after kissing his boyfriend in the press box at a game. North Dakota State College of Science student Jamie Kuntz was filming the game against Utah’s Snow College in Pueblo, Colo. because he had recently suffered a concussion. While filming he shared a kiss with his 65-year-old boyfriend who lives in Denver. Kuntz was later removed from his team and lost his scholarship.

NFL players speak out for equality Several NFL stars have spoken out in favor of marriage equality, much to the consternation of Maryland Del. Emmett C. Burns Jr., a Democrat. He sent a letter to Ravens owner Steve Biscotti demanding linebacker Brendon Avanbadejo be punished for his support of gay marriage. “I find it inconceivable that one of your players, Mr. Brendon Ayanbadejo, would publicly endorse Same-Sex marriage, specifically as a Ravens football player,” Burns wrote.

Utah students to see ‘BULLY’ More than 12,000 middle and high school students in Utah will be shown the film, BULLY, as part of an awareness campaign to stop bullying in schools. The program is sponsored by the Utah Film Center, Salt Lake City School District and JPMorgan Chase. More than 13 million American schoolchildren will be bullied this year, making it the most common form of violence

(Full stories at experienced by young people. Started Sept. 11, the screenings are taking place in Salt Lake City and Park City.

Queer rights advocates ask officials to boycott Values Voter Summit

Mormon Church buys ad space in ‘Book of Mormon’ playbills

A coalition of human rights groups is calling on public officials not to attend or participate in the upcoming Values Voter Summit, hosted by the Family Research Council. The FRC, along with co-sponsor American Family Association, has linked homosexuality to the Holocaust and pedophilia and called for the criminalization of homosexuality. Mitt Romney’s wife, Ann, is scheduled to make an appearance and speech at the summit.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has purchased advertising space in The Book of Mormon playbills as the Broadway show makes its Los Angeles debut. The satirical and Tony Award-winning musical from the creators of South Park tells the story of two missionaries who are sent to a small village in Uganda. One of the ads shows a smiling man with the caption, “I’ve read the book.” It also invites viewers to find out more information about the religion and is part of an interesting public relations campaign by the LDS Church.

University of Utah receives accolades for queer inclusiveness The queer-friendly University of Utah was recognized for its progressive and inclusive policies for students and was named as one of the top 25 most lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender schools in the nation. The University joins 24 other elite colleges, including University of California Berkley, Stanford University and University of California Los Angeles as some of the most progressive as rated by Huffpost Gay Voices and the Campus Pride Index.

Inmate sex-change ruling praised, condemned A ruling ordering prison officials to provide sex-reassignment surgery to an inmate is being praised by advocates and attacked by critics. U.S. District Judge Mark Wolf ruled that Michelle Kosilek, a transgender inmate serving life in prison for murder, had a “serious medical need” hat could only be met by the surgery. Sen. Scott Brown called it “an outrageous abuse of taxpayer dollars.”

Parents ask Draper school to deny Chickfil-A sponsorship Some parents in Draper, Utah are asking school officials to bar local Chick-fil-A restaurants from sponsoring school events due to the recent controversy surrounding the fast-food chain. Peter Pedersen, the father of two Draper Elementary students, said he was dismayed when he received an email from school principal Kenna Sorensen explaining the program. A local Chick-fil-A owner planned on sponsoring a school spirit night and offering a free meal to students with birthdays during the school year.

‘Modern Family’ creators needle Ann Romney After Mitt Romney’s wife said her favorite TV show is Modern Family, the series’ co-creator offered her a chance to appear on the show. When Steven Levitan heard Ann Romney said she enjoyed the show, he tweeted, “Thrilled Ann Romney says ModFam is her favorite show. We’ll offer her the role of officiant at Mitch & Cam’s wedding. As soon as it’s legal.” Mitch and Cam are the show’s gay couple.

Democrats vote to support marriage equality Democratic delegates voted to approve a platform that included marriage equality, higher taxes for wealthy Americans and more abortion rights. The platform strongly reflects the president’s own views and his opinion that his work is unfinished. Recent polling indicated a bump in public opinion for Barack Obama post convention.


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

‘The New Normal’: How controversial can a loving family be? By David-Elijah Nahmod


new sitcom The New Normal certainly sounds harmless enough. The series, which debuted on most NBC stations Tuesday, Sept. 11, is about two people who love each other deciding to start a family. They’re both men — which turns out to be a bit much for KSL TV, Salt Lake City’s NBC affiliate. Salt Lakers had to wait until Saturday, Sept. 15, where the show will instead be aired on KUCW TV. KSL spokesperson Tami Ostmark provided QSaltLake with an official statement regarding KSL’s decision. “We did not cancel this show because it features gay characters,” the statement reads. “We have viewed the pilot. This program features sexually explicit content, demeaning dialogue and inciting stereotypes. The dialogue is excessively rude and crude, the scenes are too explicit, and the stereotypes are offensive on all sides.” KSL, it should be noted, does not air NBC’s long running, often ribald sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live, which also airs on KUCW. Ostmark told QSaltLake that KSL did air Will & Grace for all eight seasons. She also said that the now cancelled NBC soap opera Passions, which featured lesbian and transgender characters, was never made available to the station. They currently air Days of Our Lives, which features two gay characters. Actor Andrew Rannells, who plays Bryan, one half of New Normal’s gay couple, feels that KSL created an unnecessary controversy. “It was a shame that the announcement of it came out before anyone got to see

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any of it,” he said during a telephone press conference. “We were lucky that another station in Salt Lake City decided to air it instead. I don’t think we’re telling a necessarily new story. We’re just showing what’s already happening and what’s already out in the world.” The New Normal is the creation of openly gay Ryan Murphy, the man behind Nip/ Tuck, American Horror Story and Glee, which has been television’s gayest show these past few years. The New Normal was cocreated with Glee writer Ali Adler, who’s a lesbian. The series premise is simple. Gay couple Bryan and David want children. Goldie (Georgia King), a single mom who wants to go back to school, is hired as their surrogate. Over the course of the show’s run, viewers can watch a new family come into being. “One of the things I love about the title of the show is that it seems so blunt and obvious,” said Justin Bartha, who’s been cast as David. “We still live in a time where there are people who object to showing what most people would consider reality. I actually do hope people are offended by it. Hopefully it will be a conversation piece in families and that families will love it for what it is. Possibly our show can help usher in a little acceptance.” “It’s a story about creating family,” said Rannells. “And about the love it takes to

start a family.” “It’s a privilege to be doing something that creates conversation and ideas and thoughts,” offered King. “And to get people thinking about what happens today. It’s very current. There are a lot of situations that a lot of people can relate to. I would like the story to remind people how beautiful, no matter what your family is, how absolutely wonderful and beautiful it is to have family and unity and love. It’s really a very positive story.” The three stars were asked what they thought of their characters. “The character isn’t defined by his sexuality,” said Justin Bartha, who’s straight. “None of the characters I’ve played has been defined by their sexuality, and so it really makes no difference to me if the character is gay or straight.”

“I have so much respect for anyone who would be willing to carry a baby and enable a couple to have a family,” was King’s reply. “That’s one of the most selfless, wonderful things you could do for someone. It’s so generous.” And would openly gay Rannells himself want to be a dad? “I haven’t made up my mind concretely about having kids. But I’m happy to practice on TV.”  Q

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10  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  NEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Zach Wahls to headline Moab Pride

not as I do Anti-gay Republican divorces wife Former Senate Majority Leader and anti-gay crusader Bill Frist and his wife of 31 years are splitting because of irreconcilable differences. When anti-sodomy laws were first declared unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court, Frist was there to challenge the assertion and claim the god’s good graces extended only to hetero sex. He was also a backer of a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage from being recognized anywhere in the country and claimed the

Author, activist and son of two lesbian mothers Zach Wahls will be returning to Utah for Moab’s second annual Pride Festival as keynote speaker. Wahls gained notoriety after a YouTube video of his testimony in front of the Iowa House Judiciary Committee went viral. The self-described accidental activist later went on to write a book, My Two Moms, and is now working on the campaign to stop a measure banning gay marriage in Minnesota. He’ll make time in his busy schedule to come to Utah where he hopes to hit the red rock trails with his mother Jackie Reger. “I love Utah and can’t wait to visit again,” Wahls said. “It’s such a gorgeous area and Moab was the highlight of the trip I made with my short mom.” While acknowledging the challenges that conservative states and areas face, Wahls said he’s excited to take part in an event offering a safe place for queer people to gather and celebrate diversity. While same-sex marriage isn’t likely to be legalized in the Beehive State anytime soon, opening the discussions about families and inclusiveness is a vital step in the right direction. After meeting a Moabite at a convention for bloggers and writers in Rhode Island, Wahls instantly agreed to take part in the festival. And while the intelligent and rising star in the queer rights movement is a perfect fit for any Pride event, it feels particularly poignant for Moab, said festival co-organizer Amy Stocks. “It’s so serendipitous to have this situation,” she said. “Zach personifies the message that Moab Pride is trying to get across. He and his family are perfect examples of our motto, Let Love Flow. Because Moab Pride isn’t just for LGBT people, but also family, friends and allies.” While never setting out to be a spokesperson for queer rights, Wahls takes the responsibility with poise, and he was a featured speaker at the Democratic National Convention. “I never thought I’d be an activist. I was an engineering student just living my life,” Wahls said. “But I can say how proud and pleased I am to see all the progress. I still remember sitting in eighth grade listening to both sides say my family wasn’t equal, that it wasn’t legitimate.” The festival, Sept. 28–29, will include Romney doubled down and all-too-familiar “sanctity of parties, a visibility march and performarriage.” claimed the Obama adminmances by local artists including Bronwen istration continued to side Mitt Romney Beecher, Mary Tebbs, Indi Skies and Justin with the terrorists. doubles down on Utley.  Q political lie Republican After the tragic death of congressman the U.S. ambassador to speaks on white Moab Pride Schedule supremacist radio Libya, Republican presidenshow Friday September 28 tial candidate Mitt Romney Rep. Walter Jones, a Repubattacked Barack Obama 7.30pm - Kick Off Meet & Greet lican from North Carolina saying his response was Moulin Rouge Inspired Orange Party. spoke on the nation’s most disgraceful. Romney’s initial Orange attire & costumes are encouraged! famous white supremacist comment was prompted Frankie D’s Bar & Grill 44 W. 200 N. Moab radio show. He is the first by a statement issued Saturday September 29 member of Congress to by the U.S. embassy in 10am - The Visibility March. Come do so. He appeared on Cairo, condemning a movie early & enjoy the local scene. the “Political Cesspool,” a that depicts the Prophet Swany Park, 100 West and Park Road. Memphis-based program Muhammed in a deroga12 noon - Moab Pride Festival hosted by ardent white tory way and has inflamed Old City Park Road, Spanish Valley, UT nationalists James Edwards Muslims in several coun9PM - DJ JEN WOOLFE from San Franand Eddie Miller. Jones is tries. The statement was cisco returns with local favorites BOOM opposed to interracial marreleased before the attack. BOOM ROOM riage and has spoken out After having the discrep World Famous Woody’s Tavern, 221 S. ancy pointed out to him, against gay marriage. Main St, Moab


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

Su ga S r H po ou nso se r o Ar f tW al k

11th Allies Dinner attracts thousands The 11th annual Equality Utah Allies Dinner marks more than a decade of growth and accomplishment. The sold-out dinner, to be held Sept. 27, will attract an estimated 2,000 people, making it the largest indoor lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender event in the Intermountain West. This year’s honorees include former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman and his wife, Mary Kaye for their outspoken support of civil unions in Utah, as well as other accomplishments. The event will be historic in size and with its honorees and speakers, said EU Executive Director Brandie Balken. “This is a historic moment for Utah’s LGBT community, as well as for all residents of our state, as we move closer to making everyone feel welcome

and respected. Few elected officials in Utah have done as much to foster civility and understanding as Gov. and Mrs. Huntsman. They are beacons of hope for Utah and the nation. Together with the LDS Church’s 2009 support for anti-discrimination laws, the Huntsman’s efforts bridged increased understanding and support of Utah’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community.” The keynote address will be given by Idaho Sen. Nicole LeFavour, the Democratic nominee running for U.S. Congress. If elected, she will be the second openly lesbian member of Congress. She’s facing off against 12-year incumbent Mike Simpson, a popular and well-liked Republican.

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12  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  NEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Are Utah’s hate-crimes laws weak, limited? When the Utah Legislature passed the state’s first hate-crimes legislation in 1992, sexual orientation was excised from the language, despite protests from several lobby organizations and individuals. Instead, the law protected other immutable and mutable characteristics, including race, religion and sex. Despite a strong drive in 1999 by Sen. Pete Suazo and community pressure after Matthew Shepard was brutally killed in Wyoming for being gay, Utah lawmakers ignored the call for increased protections

Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill

for gays and lesbians. Opponents of the effort, including Eagle Forum President Gayle Ruzicka, urged lawmakers not to protect “immoral and illegal behavior.” In 2006, The Criminal Penalty Amendments bill was enacted which would allow judges to consider, in sentencing, bias against queer people as an aggravating factor. However, the Utah Court of Appeals deemed the law incomplete and essentially useless, calling it an “exercise of rights” law, not a hate-crimes protection law. Prosecutors rarely take advantage of the Utah statutes because of unclear language, said Salt Lake County District Attorney

Sim Gill during a recent public meeting. The current hate-crimes legislation will allow a judge to increase a class C misdemeanor to a class B and a class B to a class A when hate targeted toward a specific community is proven to be the motivator, Gill said. But this tool is rarely used and a judge would not have to increase the sentencing. Also, if the offense is already a class A misdemeanor, there is no increase made available to the judge. “Where this law becomes useful, and what you don’t hear about is how the board of pardons and judges will take this into consideration,” Gill said. “Four years will turn into six or seven and its practical application has probably been profound.” However, public awareness that comes with a sentencing is one of the most important avenues of preventing future crimes, Gill said. “We want to deter crime, but we also are demonstrating values we hold as a society,” Gill said. “That public assertion is so important to the soul of the community, that’s a part as a prosecutor, I look at and why I hold them accountable.” With a nearly useless statute on the books, the number of hate crimes is on the rise in Utah. And the latest FBI report in 2010 indicated 16 hate crimes had been committed based on sexual orientation. This was up from the earlier 2009 report when nine hate crimes based on sexual orientation were reported. Nationally, there were 6,624 reported hate crimes in 2010 and 19 percent were motivated by bias toward gays and lesbians, according to the report. The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was signed into law by President Barack Obama in 2009. The law expanded existing federal hate-crimes laws to apply to crimes motivated by a victim’s actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. It also dropped the prerequisite that the victim be engaging in a federally protected activity. These protections would be applied to federal crimes and would allow for an increase in sentencing by the judge. For info about hate crimes, contact LGBT Public Safety Committee representative Sgt. Julie Jorgensen at julia.

U of U Pride Week schedule To kick off the new school year and celebrate diversity, the University of Utah’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Resource Center will celebrate Pride Week Oct. 1–5. Activities range from panel discussions on gender to drag shows. For more information, go to lgbt.

Monday, Oct. 1 STI Testing 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Union Collegiate Room Bingo with the Cyber Sluts 7–9 p.m. Union Saltair Room

Tuesday, Oct. 2 Gender Blender Documentary and Panel Discussion 5–7 p.m. Peterson Heritage Center Night of Spoken Word with Kit Yan and Athens Boys Choir 7:30–9:30 p.m. Babcock Theatre

Wednesday, Oct. 3 Wellness Fair 10 a.m.–2 p.m. Field House LGBTRC 10th Anniversary Social 3–5 p.m. LGBT Resource Center Geography Club Play by Theatre Department 7:30–10 p.m. Studio 115 in the Performing Arts Building

Thursday, Oct. 4 Panel Discussion: Pride has no Borders 10:45 a.m.–Noon Hinckley Institute Orson Spencer Hall Drag Show 7–10 p.m. Sugar Space, 616 Wilmington Ave., Salt Lake City

Friday, Oct. 5 Pride Pet Pageant 12:30–2 p.m. Union Patio Annual Gay-La 6–9 p.m. Utah Democratic Party Chair Jim Dabakis will host and Advocate editor Mathew Breen will be keynote speaker.


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

‘The New Normal’ sparks local flap By Seth Bracken

After local NBC-affiliate KSL officials announced the station would not carry The New Normal in its fall lineup, protests were planned and online petitions went viral. The actors behind the show spoke out against the censorship and called the decision homophobic. “Shame on u @kslcom,” read the first in a series of angry tweets from actress Ellen Barkin, who plays the conservative mother of a woman carrying a baby for two gay men. “So L&O SVU (rape & child murder) is OK? But loving gay couple having a baby is inappropriate?” Barkin started an online Twitter war with the hashtag #KSLBigots. She urged protesters in Utah to “please clog up @ksl5tv feed 4 their blatantly [homophobic] decision 2 not air the show.” A local protest outside the KSL offices was planned and a Facebook event was created. But just hours before the protest could take place, organizer Mark Lawrence received a phone call from Utah Pride Center Executive Director Valarie Larabee asking him to cancel the gathering. Instead, officials from the Pride Center,

Equality Utah and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation met with Jeff Simpson, CEO of Bonneville International, the parent company of KSL. The meeting was deemed an enormous success because KSL issued a statement emphasizing the importance of supporting “LGBT families.” “For the first time in KSL history, we will be spoken about as LGBT families, not nontraditional families, not alternative families — but LGBT families. Truly, the sitcom is not even the core issue, as it will be picked up by another affiliate in Utah — the core success is working in partnership with GLAAD, the Utah Pride Center, Bonneville Communications and KSL to raise awareness and visibility of our community,” said Equality Utah Executive Director Brandie Balken in a press release. The KSL statement countered with a strong appraisal of the gathering: “We care about and value all members of our community, including LGBT people and their families, and are grateful when there can be the type of cordial and respectful dialogue we have had today.” Yet, the show will not be aired on KSL — CW30, however, has picked it up for

Saturday night airings. The New Normal hits religious conservatives below the belt, because the new call against gay rights isn’t for protecting against gay immorality, but a so-called race to protect children, said QSaltLake columnist and queer-rights activist Bob Henline. Rather than simply quote Bible verses condemning gay sex, religious conservatives have changed the message saying children should only be raised in homes with heterosexual parents. “KSL has every right to chose not to air the show. That is absolutely their prerogative, but let’s not pretend that it was because of anything other than the fact that the show shows two gay parents in a positive light,” Henline said. “There are much more violent and sexual shows on the KSL daily programming than this.” “The meeting resulted in a statement from KSL saying LGBT families should be respected. But they’re still marginalizing a community. Whether we call them LGBT families or alternative families, it’s still marginalization and it’s still wrong,” he said. KSL has declined to air the often rowdy Saturday Night Live and last year it chose not to show The Playboy Club. However, it did carry all eight seasons of Will & Grace.

14  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  NEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

PFLAG group meeting in Sanpete County attracts dozens By John Hales

When Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is honored later this month at the Equality Utah Allies Dinner, it will be for the organization’s laudable outreach efforts — efforts that are now reaching into the very heart of rural Utah. Folks in Sanpete County held an open house Friday, Sept. 14, to begin assessing the need for, and potential viability of, PFLAG in the area, and invited LGBTs and those who love them to attend. “I thought if we did something like this, and we advertised it, and if there is somebody out there looking for something like this, well, we’d have something,” said Robert Buckner, who spearheaded the effort. Though PFLAG might at first seem out of place in very small, very conservative, very rural Sanpete — where turkeys (farmed for the locally-based Norbest brand) far outnumber humans — it turns out Buckner was right: The need for support of LGBTs and their friends and families does not know the bounds of minimal population. “I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen,” said a woman who attended the meeting, whose grandson identifies as bisexual and also attended. “We are so ready for this. We’ve been ready for a long time. We need it,” she said. That need exists on three levels: for families and friends of LGBTs, for LGBT persons themselves and for society. Those needs correspond to the elements of the mission of PFLAG: support, educate and advocate. Kathy Godwin, co-president of PFLAGSalt Lake and PFLAG’s Mountain West Region director, said it’s not so strange to have PFLAG in rural areas. “Rural,” she says, “means there is a tendency for people to know a lot of people, they may even say they ‘know everyone.’” Because of that, it may be especially difficult for someone in a small community to come out as the parent or relative of a gay person. Feelings of isolation and the fear of rejection and possibly negative ramifications are just as real for non-LGBT family members as they are for their LGBT loved ones. “PFLAG focuses on providing a confidential safe place for people to come and talk about the people they know and love,” Godwin says. Helen Thurston says she didn’t have such a place when her son came out to her.

In the little town of Manti, there was nothing she could rely upon for support. “I was in a state of shock for a long time,” Thurston said. “For two weeks I felt like I was going to die of shock and shame. I handled it badly. But what else could I do? It was my training. I could have used the support of other parents of other gay people” she said. Godwin has a metaphor for the experience: “It would be the same as if you were a single dad with three daughters. You did not grow up as a girl, you did not experience what teenage girls, or 10-year-old girls, or 4-year-olds, go through.” Families and friends of LGBTs, she says, “need the affirmation that somebody else has gone through it.” With the support PFLAG provides, the organization teaches families and friends how to, in turn, support their LGBT loved ones, how to be able to “listen to your child, because they’re going to tell you things you didn’t expect or anticipate,” Godwin said. For many, the close, tight-knit nature of small communities can be sustaining. But for LGBTs, it is often stifling, making support for them particularly important, even invaluable. “You have to be pretty tough to be [LGBT] and survive here,” said one gay Sanpete man who, at 60, remembers some pretty rough times growing up. His boyhood friend, also gay, had a family who raised turkeys: “In turkeys, when there’s one that’s unhealthy or a runt or something, the other turkeys will surround it and kill it. [My friend] said that is exactly how he felt.” Godwin said, “In a rural community, we find that youths particularly feel very, very isolated. There is no visible sign that there is anyone for them to confidentially talk to and share their feelings. That’s why PFLAG is important — it begins to identify that space.” Though not a gay-rights group per se, PFLAG does advocate, in that it helps people “to have those very personal conversations [about LGBT loved ones] we need to have with those in our lives. It’s learning how to have those conversations so you can continue to build that love, support and respect for that person who is LGBT.” Through such conversations, individual and societal attitudes — even in places like

Sanpete — can evolve. Organizer Buckner had something like that in mind when he had the idea to initiate PFLAG in Sanpete. A couple years ago, after seeing equality successes with nondiscrimination laws elsewhere in the state — and particularly noting the LDS church’s support of such laws — Buckner went to city councils in Sanpete requesting similar ordinances. “No one would talk about it,” he said. An organization like PFLAG could have helped. In communities like Sanpete, gay people may be somewhat timid about asking for their rights. But, Buckner said, “You get a parent defending their child, and they’re tenacious. If it’s a parent who’s out protecting their child, they can be a formidable force. I think people are more apt to listen to a parent.” Sanpete residents might be more ready than one would think to accept such support of LGBTs and the people who love them. When gay Moroni resident Donnell Blackham purchased two copies of the local newspaper last week — the Sanpete Messenger, which ran a front-page story previewing the PFLAG meeting — the store clerk asked if Blackham had picked up an extra copy by mistake. Replying, Blackham pointed to the PFLAG article and said he wanted to send it to relatives. The clerk responded, “It’s certainly about time something like this was done around here.” Godwin said it was significant that the local paper had carried the article, and that several people attended the meeting because of it. “That says a lot,” she said. “That means people are reading the paper, that they saw an opportunity for themselves and then came out to the meeting and want to meet again. That always is a good sign. That’s really fabulous.” The meeting had around 25 attendees. That might sound slim, but Godwin said even her chapter in Salt Lake sees around 25-50 in a meeting. Some rural chapters are excited to see even 10 people, she said. “[The Logan chapter] is not even a year old. I think for five months they worked on stability and awareness before they even filed to form a PFLAG chapter. They had to find out who would come and what they wanted when they came. It has to be specific to the community.” Sanpete families and friends of LGBTs are embarking on that same process now, with hopes that an official PFLAG chapter will result in the near future.  Q

October, 2012 | Issue 211 |



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Qmmunity Bearracuda Salt Lake City The world’s largest party for larger, hairy men and their admirers is back in Salt Lake City for an encore performance. DJ Matt Consola will light up the floor again and sexy go-go bears will dance all night long. After landing in dozens of cities around the world, Bearracuda has established itself as the most well-attended bear event in history. WHEN: Oct. 19, 9 p.m. WHERE: Club JAM, 751 N. 300 West INFO:

Starbucks fundraiser for the Utah No Bully Project All coffee and pastries will be free at the new Salt Lake City Starbucks, downtown. Donations will all be going to support Utah Pride’s anti-bullying program. The new hotline can be reached at 801-580-7680. The event is open to everyone, especially queer youth. WHEN: Sept. 27, 4–7 p.m. WHERE: Starbucks, 101 S. Main St. INFO:

Annual Sex Conference The Annual Sex Ed Conference and Tie One On Party is open to all queer women and their allies. The conference kicks off | Issue 211 | October, 2012

with panel discussions touching on topics such as safe sex and non-monogamy. It ends with a speed dating session and dance. To register, email WHEN: Oct. 29, 10 a.m. WHERE: LJ & Jeanne Jewish Community Center, 2 North Medical Dr. INFO:

PWACU 14th Annual Barbeque The People With AIDS Coalition of Utah’s annual end of summer barbeque is for all supporters, participants, clients and volunteers. The event is free and will feature a performance by the Righteously Outrageous Twirling Crops. WHEN: Oct. 6, 4 p.m. WHERE: Fairmont Park, Main Grove Pavilion, 900 East 2400 S. INFO:

Brothers, Sing On Celebrate 30 years with the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. The walk down memory lane will celebrate some of the greatest hits from the choir and the past 30 years. Tickets are available at WHEN: Oct. 6, 7 p.m. WHERE: Salt Lake Masonic Temple, 650 E. South Temple INFO:


Our nation’s security should be of utmost importance to our Commanderin-chief. America can’t afford any more ‘leading from behind’ in such a dangerous world. We already know that President Obama likes to ‘speak softly’ to our enemies. If he doesn’t have a ‘big stick’ to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one.” —Sarah Palin, writing on her Facebook page

I am not surprised that members of the Log Cabin Republicans are offended by my comparing them to Uncle Tom. They are no more offended than I am by their campaigning in the name of LGBT rights to elect the candidate and party who diametrically oppose our rights against a President who has forcefully and effectively supported our rights.”

—Openly-gay Rep. Barney Frank

What makes gay people different from others is not just that we are discriminated against, mistreated, regarded as sick or perverted. That alone is not what shapes gay culture. (That indeed could end.) It’s that we live in a world in which heterosexuality is the norm. Heterosexual culture remains our first culture, and in order to survive and to flourish in its midst, gay people must engage in an appropriation of it that is also a resistance to it.”

—David Halperin, from his new book, How To Be Gay

I feel glad to be one of the people who are working in media who don’t feel a need — or are ignoring a superficial need and are feeling another calling: to be honest, to be upfront, and to try to encourage the people around us to be inclusive in their views.” —Ezra Miller from the Perks of Being a Wallflower


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

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I would love a critical analysis of the pilot to parse what KSL claims are ‘sexually explicit content, demeaning dialogue and inciting stereotypes. The dialogue is excessively rude and crude, the scenes are too explicit, and the stereotypes are offensive on all sides.’ I believe such an analysis, along with a comparison of content of the other sitcoms that KSL happily broadcasts would expose the pathetic and sad obviousness of their lie. Is there anyone who really thinks that is why it won’t play on KSL? They are now guardians of appropriate non-stereotypical images of gays, women and AfricanAmericans? Laughable.” | Issue 211 | October, 2012

10 things we heard last month

QSaltLake Magazine welcomes your letters to the editor. Please send your letter of 300 words or less to letters@ We reserve the right to edit for length or libel if a letter is chosen for publication.

—Curtis Jensen on KSL refusing to broadcast The New Normal

“ “ “

This was an absolutely wonderful experience! Can’t wait for Sunday, Sept. 1, 2013 to do it again! Wouldn’t miss it!” —Cathi Brinton on the recordbreaking Utah Undie Run

Then again, in Utah it’ll probably be used as a ‘ how to’ video.” —James Enoch after learning thousands of students will be shown a documentary about bullying

I’m really looking forward to watching this series. I only wish it had been on when my 18 year old was younger. Children of LGBT parents deserve to be represented in the media. They are the chosen ones. We gays don’t have kids by accident.”

—Carl Szulczynski on KSL refusing to broadcast The New Normal

Did I really choose to move to this state?” —Sean Camp on KSL refusing to broadcast The New Normal

“ “

I hear the show is not that great. I think KSL is completely wrong in not airing it, but from what I hear, it does not sound like this show will last!” —Uriel Lizardi on KSL refusing to broadcast The New Normal

No surprise here! I still remember the days clear back in the late 1970s when I worked for this rabid Mormon CPA who was obsessed with getting Soap off of the air. It’s so sad to me to see that we’ve made such little progress here in Utah with the TV stations.” —Helen Tobler on KSL refusing to broadcast The New Normal

“ “ “ All those closeted GOP’s in Tampa. It’ll be like General Conference in Salt Lake. The gay bars will be filled with fresh meat looking for some ‘relief’ then back to the conference to proclaim your dislike and disgust of the ‘homo lifestyle and agenda.’”

—Joseph Pemberton on gay bars seeing influx of customers during the Tampa GOP Convention

Grindr will crash in Florida.” —Rory Thompson on gay bars seeing influx of customers during the Tampa GOP Convention

Ten thousands bravos to the Utah Gay movement, keep the faith in your opinions and this will set you free.” —Jean Claude Chanonat


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

from the editor

A true example of Pride By Seth Bracken

I’ve always

been the type to stop at the mall and enter to win the compact car on display in the commons area. I’ve never really been bothered by people shopping around for my address and information. Other than bills, the extra pamphlets are all I ever get in the mail and are usually a highlight of my day. When I decided to enter the Brand g Vacations contest for a free European vacation I didn’t think I stood much of a chance. But I wrote my contest submission and told them why I’d like to visit Europe in 500 words or less. Although, I knew almost nothing about the Czech Republic, Slovakia or Hungary — I didn’t think there was much chance of me winning so I didn’t overly concern myself with the destinations. Call it good karma, call it damn good luck or just pure chance — after entering hundreds of contests, I was bound to win something. Whatever you want to call it, I won. For months, the vacation consumed my every thought. Every morning when the alarm went off I’d think about how I’d soon be gallivanting through Europe. I started researching all my planned destinations. We were to start the vacation in Prague, Czech Republic and then board a boat and take a river cruise down the Danube River. After watching every travel documentary I could get my hands on about Prague I was a little nervous I’d run out of things to do, and silently I lamented that the host city wasn’t Rome, Paris or London. After landing, I was determined to see the entire ancient city so I wouldn’t ever feel compelled to return. I knew I’d enjoy it, but I didn’t think it would be able to compete with the more traditional tourist meccas of Europe. I couldn’t have been more wrong. If you want to see museums and hear about history, by all means, go to Vienna

or Rome. But if you want to be in a living museum of a city, go to Prague. The cobblestone streets appear more like a Disney movie set than someone’s home. Everywhere I turned there were monuments, sidewalk cafes and neighborhood bars. With a similar population to Salt Lake City and the surrounding area, there are about 13 gay bars and cafes (I should know, I visited all of them). The average cost for a half-liter of delicious, 5.2 percent beer was about $2 with tip. But it wasn’t just the ancient bridges, castles, streets and charming shops that made me fall in love with Bohemia’s capital. I was fortunate enough to visit during the Pride parade and festival. I joined tens of thousands of other costume-clad, rainbow-bright attendees in the streets. Unlike a Pride Festival in Utah, or other areas in the United States, Prague Pride consisted of about four floats and every spectator instantly became a participant. As we packed Wenceslas Square — the same square where thousands gathered to protest the communist regime — I couldn’t help but feel a part of something greater. There were no corporate sponsors, but still plenty of beer. There were no floats advertising real estate agencies or insurance salesmen, but there were hoards of business owners, executives and community leaders. The festival was free, but it still had fabulous entertainment that lasted well into the night. When I had the fortunate chance to speak with the organizer of the festival, I learned he, and everyone else is a volunteer. I asked him why they didn’t charge or find sponsors to help with some of the costs. “We don’t need a sponsor. The festival isn’t about money or getting a job. It’s about something greater. It’s about gathering and making a statement in a country that wasn’t always so happy to acknowledge we were here. But now they have to. They can’t ignore us anymore,” he said.  Q


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20  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  VIEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

thinking out loud

Feeding the flames By Abby Dees

When I

sat down to write my last column I didn’t think I had much to say about anything. So, stumped for fresh ideas, I revived the topic of my previous column — Chick-filA — for a status update. It was one of the most tepid pieces I’ve written. Imagine my surprise when within hours of its publication my column had stirred the ire of dozens of right-wingers in the comments section, and even ended up on a far-right website. God knows what happened this week that never happened any other week to put me in the cross hairs of the culture warriors, but my editor emailed me kudos: “You’re a hit!” she wrote to a very rattled me. Let me share some highlights: “We know how vicious, angry and intolerant you are, Abby. You won’t really be able to hide it. Deviant sex is the center of your world. That level of imbalance is crippling.” Or, “What a loser! Abby Dees. This is your LIFE???? Wow. What a waste.” Or, “Pathetic mewling of a pervert.” These more personal attacks don’t

bother me too much. They don’t know me (and in year seven of my relationship I can only wish that any sex were the center of my world…). Much more maddening was that the comments that tried to argue actual points weren’t responsive to my column at all. Most accused me (as representative of all gay people, by the way) of trying to quash the Chick-fil-A founder’s free speech rights, when in fact my entire discussion of the uproar over the last month has been critical of such censorship, particularly by the government. To mangle an old quote, I’ll fight to the death for your right to say stupid things. I was also chastised for not discussing things completely unrelated to the subject of my short column, as if by neglecting to, for example, psychically predict that a nutcase was going to open fire at the Family Research Council, I revealed the hypocrisy of the entire LGBT movement and our disdain for humanity, especially if it’s registered Republican. I must then wonder what the point of having a column is, or sharing our thoughts

sanctity of marriage Mom of missing child to marry convicted father The mother of a child who disappeared last year is engaged to marry the suspect in the baby’s disappearance. The 4-month-old, known as Baby Kate, disappeared from her Ludington, Mich., home. The baby’s mother, Ariel Courtland, accused the baby’s father of kidnapping the child and “leaving her somewhere.” Sean Philips, the baby’s father, was tried and convicted on charges of unlawfully imprisoning Baby Kate. However, he has not been charged with her kidnapping or death. Court-

land admitted that she had considered giving the child up for adoption, and that Philip still wanted to do so.

Census data confirms divorce trend Fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce in the U.S., according to data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Utah has one of the highest rates of marriages in the U.S. with 8.5 of every 1,000 Utahns married. Nationally, the average is about 6.8 of every thousand. But Utah faces nearly the same amount of divorce with nearly half of marriages

ending in divorce. This trend has not changed significantly in Utah or nationally over the past decade.

Pat Robertson recommends spousal abuse In response to a caller’s question about how to save his marriage because he views his wife as disrespectful, televangelist Pat Robertson suggested that the caller resort to violence. Robertson said he should “become a Muslim and beat her.” His co-host, a woman, Terry Meeuwsen, simply laughed nervously. Robertson recommended moving to Saudi Arabia – because apparently the problem with spousal abuse isn’t its immorality, but illegality.

and opinions, if we are utterly unable to hear what anyone else has to say. Hey, it goes both ways. My critics threw arguments about the immorality or brutality of the LGBT movement at me as if they’d found the key to unraveling our plan for world domination. For example: “‘Hate’ is now defined as anything with which the left disagrees. In the eyes of most leftists, traditional Christians and Jews are no different than Klansmen.” Huh? While such assertions were met with the Internet equivalent of high fives, I’m left scratching my head that anybody could really think this. Is there any hope for real communication between us? I know, I shouldn’t give it a moment’s thought. A conservative friend was amused that I’d pissed off a bunch of “skin heads.” A gay friend dismissed it all as the wounded howls of scared nitwits facing the reality that the LGBT train has left the

A conservative friend was amused that I’d pissed off a bunch of “skin heads.” station. Most everyone I know clucked about the number of morons there are. I’d like to believe that my column magnetically attracted an errant pod of swastika-tattooed mouth breathers — I refer to them as “far-right” out of respect for my conservative friends and family whose politics don’t always line up with mine, but with whom my disagreements are always respectful and cause us both to think with a little more subtlety. My critics can’t be “nice” people like that. One even called me out for suggesting that his ilk were “far-right” when they represent so much of America. I know in my gut he’s right (about this). Many are indeed nice people, and damn scared about things they don’t understand. And they too can’t imagine that I am the easy-going person that I am, that my relationship is lovely and ordinary, and that I really don’t have an agenda beyond fairness and respect for difference (yes, even religious difference), nor do my friends, gay or otherwise. So please tell me, how do we keep this rift from getting ever wider?  Q


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

the straight line

Why equality is unequivocal By Bob Henline

Over the

past few months I’ve been vocal about my support of equality and my refusal to support political candidates that won’t support marriage equality. That stand has prompted a large number of discussions about equality, marriage equality and “political reality.” Through the course of discussions I’ve been told by a number of friends, and others whom I respect, that I should be a bit more accepting and allow for people to “evolve” on the subject. I’ve been told that there are more issues at stake than just marriage equality and that it’s important to elect candidates that support some of my ideals — even if they fall short on this particular one. I’ve given these arguments a good bit of thought, and while the idea of “single-issue” voting normally scares the hell out of me, on this one I’m going to hold firm. For me the issue of marriage equality isn’t really about marriage. I believe that every person has the right to love and marry the person of their choice without governmental interference, but that’s not the fundamental basis of my commitment to marriage equality. It’s the second word of the phrase: equality. I believe that every person has the right to be treated equally under the law. If there are rights and privileges associated with the institution of marriage, then those rights and privileges should be extended to all legal adults that choose to enter into said relationship. That, however, isn’t the root of the argument. For me it goes

deeper. Why are rights and privileges reserved for some, and denied others? If a politician came forward today to argue that an African-American man should not be allowed to marry a Caucasian woman the uproar would be heard immediately, from coast to coast. Telling two people they aren’t allowed to marry based on race is bigotry, and it’s wrong. So why is it not unacceptable bigotry for a candidate (or elected official) to claim that marriage between two people of the same sex should be prohibited by law? It’s been argued that there are religions that believe that marriage should be exclusive to one man and one woman, and hence, this is an issue of religious freedom. That, in my mind, flies in the face of real religious freedom. Freedom of religion, as outlined in the First Amendment, gives us the right to believe (or not believe) according to the dictates of our own conscience. It not only protects religion from government, but sets a clear boundary that religious belief should not be institutionalized into law. If your personal beliefs and faith indicate that marriage is between a man and a woman, by all means, don’t marry someone of the same gender. You have every right. What you don’t have, however, is the right to impose that belief on other people through the force of law. That is where you’ve crossed the line of “religious freedom.” The bottom line is this: denying anyone the rights and privileges allowed to others on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation is discrimination. It’s

bigotry. And it’s wrong, fundamentally wrong. Denying those rights and privileges indicates to me a very deep character flaw: that the person actually believes that there are some people who are more (or less) deserving of the rights and privileges associated with being a member of our society; that there is, at some

level, a fundamental difference between people that makes some of us “less worthy” than others. That is not my community, not my America. And I will do everything in my power to work for a Utah and an America where all of us are truly equal under the law.  Q

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22  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  VIEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

lambda lore

Utah sodomy laws: The first 100 years By Ben Williams

When Utah

enacted its first code of laws, as the State of Deseret in the 1851, Mormon legislators prohibited “any man or boy from having, or attempting to have, any sexual intercourse with any of the male creation.” The penalty for the offense was imprisonment or a fine “as the court may direct.” The legality of the State of Deseret’s laws was dubious in a territory designated by the federal government as Utah Territory and thus, a new criminal code was adopted in 1852. Either by design or simple omission, the 1852 code left out any mention of sodomy, thereby, in de facto, legalizing homosexual sodomy. Sodomy was finally defined as a felony in Utah, when the territory legislators, in 1876, adopted California’s entire criminal code, and was now punishable by imprisonment up to five years. The law also established a penalty of up to 10 years for “assault with intent to commit sodomy.” The reasoning behind the stiffer penalty was that consensual sodomy was harder to prosecute than sexual assault, which would have had the same designation as attempted male rape. The distinction of being the first man tried under Utah’s new sodomy law was Dr. Perry McClanahan of Colorado. In 1881, the doctor was accused of seducing a 17-year-old male patient. The doctor, in his defense, explained that he hadn’t “slept with two men for 15 years.” After two hung juries, the judge jailed McClanahan for three months, and upon release the judge urged the doctor to take his practice outside of Utah. In 1907, Utah legislators increased the penalty for sodomy to three to 20 years in the state penitentiary, which was in line with most surrounding states. Lawmakers also enacted legislation that deemed “every lewd or dissolute person” in Utah to be a “vagrant” and “subject to punishment for a term of up to 90 days in jail.” This law punished homosexuals, who could not be prosecuted for sodomy, with at least some jail time. The strange case of Utah v. Johnson

came before the Utah Supreme Court in 1913, wherein an African-American man appealed his sodomy conviction for having given a man a “blow job.” The court reluctantly ruled that the act of “fellatio” was not a violation of the state’s sodomy statute. The Justices opinion was that, “while we, from the standpoint of decency and morals, fully concur in all that these and other courts have said regarding the loathsome and revolting character and enormity of the act charged, yet we cannot, in the absence of legislative enactment making such acts criminal and punishable, denounce and punish them as crimes. To do so would be in effect be judicial legislation.” Utah state legislators took nearly 10 years to address criminalizing fellatio and cunnilingus. In 1923, the definition of Utah’s sodomy statute was broadened by the addition of oral sex. The new statute defined “sodomy or any other detestable and abominable crime against nature” to include sex acts committed “with either the sexual organs or the mouth.” Oral sex was officially a felony punishable by imprisonment. By the actions of the 1923 Legislature sodomy was no longer defined as “penis penetration of the anus,” and thus consequently lesbian sexual acts were also forbidden by Utah’s criminal code. In 1925, Utah legislators, reflecting on the emergence of the pseudo science of eugenics, enacted a law to sterilize, by castration, inmates of state institutions who were deemed “afflicted with habitual sexual criminal tendencies.” Eugenics was a bio-social movement which advocated the improving of the genetic composition of a population by preventing “defective people” from reproducing. In 1929, Utah’s sterilization law was amended to specifically include the word “degenerate” in the description, which made homosexuals eligible for sterilization. Utah’s sterilization law was challenged before the Utah Supreme Court by Easu Walton, another African-American and a homosexual. Walton was a 24-year-old native of Kentucky incarcerated in the state

penitentiary in Salt Lake City for a series of petty thefts. In prison, Walton had been observed by a prison guard committing a sex act with another inmate. Both inmates were described by the guard as partly undressed with their pants down. However, Walton was also observed lying on top of the other prisoner with his penis erect. The guard pressed charges against Walton and testified that he had “frequently acted lovingly toward other boys who were confined in the prison.” The state produced another witness, also an inmate, who testified that Walton had solicited him for sex. When the case made it to the Utah Supreme Court, they ruled in Davis v. Walton that Walton’s behavior was not punishable by Utah’s sterilization law and unanimously blocked his planned castration. However, this same court upheld the constitutionality of Utah’s sterilization law. The Utah Supreme Court did not rule on another case involving homosexuality until 1932. In Utah v. Gregorious, a case invoking sex with a minor male, a 15-year-old testified that he willingly submitted to the act of sodomy with the defendant, a Greek man named Gregorius. The teenager stated at trial that Gregorious had started “kissing me and loving me and then he slid down my pants.” When the court asked if he resisted when Gregorious had “pushed him onto a bed,” the youth replied, “I did not see any reason why I should resist from it.” The state’s argument was that because the boy was a juvenile, his testimony “required no corroboration.” The court disagreed and by a vote of 3-2, it reversed the defendant’s conviction, ruling that corroboration was needed for a conviction of sodomy “after noting other errors in the trial.” Criminal records from the first half of the 20th century reveal that the decision to sentence men to prison for sodomy was often based on the religious affiliation of the defendants, their social class, whether sexual assault or battery were involved and if a minor was involved. Court cases show that men were sent to prison even for consensual sodomy. There was a case where arbitrary sentencing was based on the ability of the state to pay for the incarceration of a transient convicted of sodomy during the Great Depression. In 1932, Charles Brown was tried in Utah’s 3rd District Court for the “infamous crime against nature.” The vagabond was charged with raping a fellow man in the Continued on page 41


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

who’s your daddy?

The real new normal By Christopher Katis

A couple

of weeks ago my sister and I took the kids to see ParaNorman for boys’ movie night. It’s a cute film. There’s a great scene in which the hunky football player obliviously tells the pretty girl who’s been hitting on him the entire movie that he can’t wait for her to meet his boyfriend. After the credits rolled, Gus turned to my sister and said, “He said that about having a boyfriend because he’s like Daddy and Papa, right?” This two-plus-two moment came at the same time that KSL announced it wouldn’t air the show, The New Normal. The irony wasn’t lost on me. When KSL announced that the show didn’t fit in with its brand, Facebook lit up with comments like: “Its brand of homophobia” and “Its brand of bigotry.” For me, the decision meant that The New Normal doesn’t fit in with KSL’s view of family.

I’ve always been uncomfortable with organizations — religious or otherwise — that subscribe to a narrow definition of family. It’s just so, well, limiting. Maybe it’s the type of family I grew up in — one in which just about everyone was an uncle or aunt, and all the cousins were raised communally like siblings. When Kelly and I were first dating, he asked me how many kids my grandparents had, and how many of the girls were named “Mary.” It finally dawned on me that in the more limited view of family he had experienced, second cousins aren’t called “aunt.” But we’re raising the boys to have a more fluid and encompassing view of what a family can be. What I find interesting is that long before the boys were twinkles in their daddies eyes, Kelly and I were apparently good role models for what it means to be a family to the younger generation. Recently, my 24-year-old nephew told me what he’s most proud of about his upbringing is that for his entire life he always had two uncles. There was never any discussion at home about whether it was good or bad. There wasn’t a conversation of how Uncle Chris was “different.” It was just an everyday part of his life. And no matter what television stations,

religions or politicians may think, gay families are now a part of the norm. Just the other day my parents and uncle received wedding invitations from a lesbian couple. Their only thought: Where were the ladies registered? KSL actually may have done a great favor for The New Normal. Announcing that the program doesn’t fit in its conservative viewpoint, and refusing to air it, wasn’t just news here in Salt Lake. It was a story all across the country. Their decision may likely encourage hundreds of thousands of people to watch the program, who otherwise wouldn’t have tuned in. And what they’ll see is just another American family, one that may be completely foreign to them or totally recognizable. But it’ll still seem normal — just like lesbian weddings, gay uncles, kids with two dads, and animated football players with boyfriends.  Q Update: I want to apologize to Congressional candidate Soren Simonsen. He responded to my questions for my last column highlighting the major Congressional candidates’ positions on marriage equality well before my deadline, but for some reason, they never made it to me. Councilman Simonsen unwaveringly supports marriage equality, and includes the issue in his campaign literature. He’s the type of ally our community can rely on and is well-deserving of our support. Sorry about the mix up.

24  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  VIEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

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Bryan Fischer By D’Anne Witkowsi

Happy One

Year Anniversary of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” repeal, everybody. Well, not happy for everyone, I suppose. There are still plenty of anti-gay bigots out there unhappy about the whole thing. Remember how the letting of gays and lesbians serve openly in the military was going to result in mass defections? Gropes in the showers? Devastated morale? A limp-wristed force unable to fight? Well, surprise, surprise, none of that happened. In fact, a new study out of the Williams Institute at University of California Los Angeles Law School has found that, “Repealing DADT has had no overall negative impact on military readiness, including cohesion, recruitment, retention, assaults, harassment, or morale.” This must be a serious bummer for the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer who was convinced that gays in the military would usher in another Holocaust. In a May 27, 2010 piece on the AFA website, Fischer wrote, “Homosexuality gave us Adolph Hitler, and homosexuals in the military gave us the Brown Shirts, the Nazi war machine and six million dead Jews. Gays in the military is an experiment that has been tried and found disastrously and tragically wanting. Maybe it’s time for Congress to learn a lesson from history.” Wow. Equating homos with full-on Nazis and the attempted extermination of the Jews is a pretty serious claim. It’s also bat-shit crazy and completely untrue. Not like that’s ever stopped Fischer before. Crazy lies are pretty much his forte. So did the Palm study find gay Nazis taking over the military waving swastikaemblazoned rainbow flags? Uh, no. But they did find that, “Greater openness and honesty post-repeal may have actually increased understanding, respect and acceptance.” Oh, the horror! Honestly, I don’t know which outcome is considered worse from Fischer’s perspec-

tive. I mean, the gay-Nazi thing was a long shot, but it certainly would be impressive to be the man able to say, “I told you so” as Hitler mustaches became the new musthave military trend (for men and women, obviously). So to be faced with “increased understanding, respect and acceptance” must be a real let down. Especially since when people understand, respect and accept gays and lesbians, they tend to not hate them. And they tend to write off guys who blame the holocaust on gays as insane or ignorant.

“Homosexuality gave us Adolph Hitler, and homosexuals in the military gave us the Brown Shirts, the Nazi war machine and six million dead Jews. But then, Fischer isn’t exactly an expert on military matters. Perhaps military leaders are seeing the kind of chaos Fischer and others like him predicted? Um, no. In May, Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta said about the DADT repeal, “It’s not impacting on morale. It’s not impacting on unit cohesion. It is not impacting on readiness.” He also said, “Very frankly, my view is that the military has kind of moved beyond it,” he said. “It’s become part and parcel of what they’ve accepted within the military.” There’s that darn “accepted” word again. I strongly suspect that Fischer isn’t about to roll over and admit defeat. If being wrong about DADT is wrong, then he doesn’t want to be right. But as a country, we can rest easier knowing that the only gay brown shirts lurking in the barracks exist in Fischer’s twisted imagination.  Q


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

a mom’s view

Here comes the family By Leesa Myers

When my

son, Jay, told me he was gay, he seemed like a deer in the headlights waiting for a reason to bolt from the family. I asked Jay if I could tell his father, sister and Nan (my mom). Jay agreed. Frankly, I didn’t know how they would react and I didn’t want Jay to be hurt. I think I was more afraid of Jay leaving and not seeing him again than any family feelings; I was prepared to fight if needed. I told Ken, mom and my grandmother, and they all had the same reaction — Jay is my son, grandson etc. I love him, nothing has changed. When I told Jay’s sister, she said the same thing, except she didn’t want to tell her children, who are all under 11 years of age. She felt they were too young

to understand. She also was concerned if Jay brought a partner how he would act in front of the children. Understand I raised both my children with values and how to behave in public, I was not concerned. My daughter would not make out with her husband on my couch and I knew neither would Jay, whether he was with a girl or boy. I still don’t understand the belief that people have that if you’re gay, lesbian or transgender then you’re a pervert or have no values or morals. As the years went on, the two older children would ask Jay when he was going to get married. Jay would not say anything. Finally one day Jay told his sister that he was tired of lying and if she did not tell her children, he would not come around them. Shortly after that my daughter and son-in-law were coming to Salt Lake. My son-in-law said to their children matter-of-factly; “Jay is gay, quit asking him when he’s getting married.” Later my daughter sat them down and as best she could explained that Jay liked boys. Over the years, I have been stern with my older grandchildren, when they use words that are not acceptable and hurtful. We strive to have a home that is accepting. We make mistakes, but it’s not because Jay

is gay. It’s from not knowing. One time we were celebrating a birthday by going to breakfast with the immediate family. A cute young man came in with his mom and sat down to order breakfast. He was dressed quite feminine. I whispered to Jay, “He is cute.” Jay said to me; “If I wanted to date a younger woman, I would.” Oh! One thing I have learned as a mom over the years is my interest in a man for both my son and daughter is completely off. Even to this day, I know a lot of really cute, nice, young men that I think would be perfect for Jay. I think that is why he doesn’t like to go with me to LGBT socials. I want to introduce him to my friends. I’m a mom and I love grandchildren and want more. Children are children, whether they are straight, gay, lesbian, transgender; parent’s opinions are low when it comes to picking clothes or partners for their children. They have to create their own relationships, good, bad, or disastrous. We did and were our parents excited about our choices at first? I am waiting for the day when Jay brings home a partner that he is ready to give his heart to and create a relationship with.  Q I’d love to hear your stories. Email

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26  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  VIEWS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

queer shift

Shifting pathways By Charles Lynn Frost


has vivid memories of times when life drastically forked for them — when they had to make a choice as to which road to take, college to attend, career to follow, social or political group to associate or disassociate with, passion to pursue, organization to work for, or lover to spend this particular time or hopefully their life with. In 2004, my husband, Douglas, and I, on a trip to New York City, saw Hugh Jackman in The Boy From Oz. It was brilliant, touching, funny and, most of all, haunting. The Boy from Oz is a jukebox musical based on the multifaceted life of gay singer/ songwriter Peter Allen and featuring songs written by him. Jackman won a Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical. The opening song,“All the Lives of Me,” illustrates the many pathways, personalities and choices Allen took during his fascinating, albeit challenging and difficult life. The beginning lyrics go as follows: Everywhere I go / I’m followed by a lot of people / Such a lot of people / It’s almost a parade. / And if you could see all the people / They’re everyone I ever was / And everyone I ever will be / All the lives of me. / Nothin’ left to hide / I come in many colors, / Assorted shapes and sizes / Can adapt to your demands. / And if you smile at someone / Then I’ll just become that one, / And throw in all the others for free / All the lives of me. As I indicated in the opening column of The Queer Shift, I firmly believe in only two constants — change and choice. Please don’t misread that I’m advocating changeon-demand to please everyone you encounter in life, but rather find your authenticity, and let it guide you as you come upon the formidable forked pathways of life. As a certified management/career/ life coach, and aging gay man I’m always looking for the latest information regarding change and choice. A trusted person recently recommended Monday Morning Choices, 12 Powerful Ways to Go From Everyday to Extraordinary, by David Cottrell. Cottrell talks about three types of choices we all make in life. These choices are always at those tough forks in the road. First, character choices that define the

person we will be, deciding to not be the victim and to choose integrity and listen to our gut, even when it’s not the easiest thing to do. Second, action choices that lead to failure or success. Being persistent, doing something, takes us from perpetual wishing or dreaming to self love and happiness. Finally, investment choices, revolving around the people we spend time with and develop relationships with, removing ourselves from toxic people, houses, jobs, organizations, causes, and yes even lovers — which brings me to what the hell I want to share! Doug and I (knock on a woody) are in our 11th year, having been legally married last Sept. 15 in New York City, sharing the moment with two dear lifetime lesbian couples, and many friends. We are always asked the illusive and important question: how do we keep the relationship together, alive, relevant, fresh, hot and stable? It all comes down to one of those gigantic forked pathways; I believe before you venture down either road you seriously examine compatibility — emotional, mental, spiritual, social, financial and sexual compatibility. Some real-life rules I have learned about compatibility and relationships: 1. You can only love people you like

Take some time. Know the other person; his or her family — biological or logical family. In fact, your view of life should be in several ways congruent with the person you are having a relationship with, otherwise it may be a bitter and hopeless struggle. I am talking about affection and a lover and you sharing common ground. 2. You have a choice to be alone or to be in a relationship

Love the person you see in the mirror first and foremost. Embrace the philosophy that you may be alone, but you will never be lonely. For then the combined laws of attraction and allowance can co-exist and you can truly be someone who can first own your happiness, and attract someone who operates from the same mindset. It all goes back to the old adage: Instead of looking for Mr. Right, be Mr. Right! 3. Some people are toxic, avoid them

This is a subtext of number one. In all relationships people can be either toxic or

nourishing toward one another. There is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing when it comes to a possible relationship. Here is the test: Really spend some time with this person. At the end of the times together, observe whether you are more energized or less energized — tired or exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life. 4. Love is not enough

Live together, experience together and grow together. Don’t let your fears prevent you from fully engaging and embracing the whole relationship. Whether you decide to marry, not marry, fight for gay marriage, in the end it doesn’t matter if you always talk about the big and little issues. Communicate often. Oh, and buy a new bed shortly after you begin living together, a bed that works for both of you; you spend a lot of time there, so it needs to be a high-priority item. 5. Just enough is more

Less is not necessarily more, nor is more necessarily less. There has to be a vision and values match with each other, or collisions are on the horizon. Know what both of you want, and know that you are individually responsible for getting it. Also, know when it’s over; enabling, co-dependency, being roommates rather than a caring couple, can damage both of you. 6. Neither the head, the heart nor the groin are to be trusted alone

Have at least two of them in combination at all times, hopefully all three if you are choosing to enter a relationship. Good sex is not love, don’t get the two confused. 7. Live your life with a positive energy that others notice is infectious

Again, such a huge part of attraction. 8. Be capable of soothing and being good to yourself and to one another

Practice random acts of kindness to yourself, and do little things every day for one another. Oh, and there’s this. In the end it’s about timing. Laughing together, crying together, changing and aging together. It should be easier than harder the majority of time. Remember the life lessons you’ve already learned, talk to people, other couples, find the sequencing and the commonalities. Take time at the forks in the road, utilize everything and everyone you have to make the choice, and above all love yourself first, only then can you love any other choice you make. Here’s to all the lives of you!  Q


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

living in qutah

Bring friends, family to experience PFLAG By John Hales


preparing to report on a meeting to establish Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays in my small hometown, I wanted the perspective of a gay person from here who didn’t have a supportive family. I contacted a young man whom I had learned of several years ago, whose parents all but disowned him after he came out to them. I didn’t know him, but his parents were dear friends of mine, so the situation saddened me. I told the young man why I wanted to interview him. He was surprised. He told me I was wrong. His parents had struggled somewhat, he said, but the idea they rejected him couldn’t be further from the truth. So imagine my excitement when I saw his mother at that PFLAG meeting. I rushed to her and told her how glad I was that she was there. I apologized for my former misunderstanding. We hugged. She cried. I cried with her. It was special. Come to find out, her son had called her and told her about the meeting. It was exactly what PFLAG’s Mountain West Region Director (and Salt Lake chapter copresident) Kathy Godwin said was the one thing she wanted LGBT people to know: “They need to know that we want them to bring their parents to a PFLAG meeting.” LGBTs connect their loved ones to PFLAG, and in return PFLAG helps strengthen the connections and relationships between LGBTs and their

loved ones. One more experience suggests PFLAG’s ability to do that. Bruce (not his real name) walked into the meeting, knowing no one — a gruff oldtimer of the sort fairly common in Sanpete. I greeted him. I wanted to make sure he was there for PFLAG, so I asked, “You are here for —?” “Anger management,” he replied. I began asking people if there was an anger management class, but with no trace indicating he had been joking, he stopped me and said, “No. I’m in the right place. But it might just turn out to be anger management.” I didn’t pursue the matter, but it was clear he was having a very difficult time with the idea of an LGBT person in his life, probably a child. The meeting was beautiful, with an incredibly inspiring speech from a man, Jim Birrell, who had wrestled terribly with his faith, his god, and the nature of love while trying to understand the impossible fact of having a gay son. His message was about the unconditional love that full acceptance of an LGBT relative or friend requires. Some excerpts included: “This is a talk I could not have listened to when we first faced the possibility that my son was gay.” “Having a gay child will demand that parents examine their inner lives.” “Seeking for God to change my son, God changed me.” “It was never the situation that was the problem for me, but my

thoughts about the situation.” “The effort to save my son’s eternal soul was really an effort to save myself from limited beliefs.” “To be gay is to be courageous, and courage is an expression of love.” “Gays are suited to teach us so much about loving without conditions.” At the end of the meeting, I found Bruce. Though I was apprehensive, I asked, “What did you think?” “Well,” came his reply, still gruff but gentler than before, “I’m not angry anymore.”

Beautiful and priceless. To my fellow LGBT-ites, I invite you to invite a loved one to a PFLAG meeting. If

“They need to know that we want them to bring their parents to a PFLAG meeting.” you can, attend it with them. PFLAG, my own limited observations have already shown, will change hearts, lives and relationships.  Q


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Pocatello working on antibias measure The Pocatello, Idaho City Council is beginning efforts to draft a nondiscrimination ordinance to protect against bias based on sexual orientation and gender identity. | Issue 211 | October, 2012

The effort is being backed by various faith groups, the League of Women Voters and other individuals and organizations. The ordinance would mirror similar laws passed in cities, counties and states around the nation. Much like Utah, Idaho does not have statewide protections against bias. The ordinance will most likely be read, discussed

guest editorial

DNC was historic in many ways Get this: by Mark Segal

A majority of the speakers at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte last week spoke in some way about LGBT equality. You read that right. From smalltown mayors all the way to the president of the United States of America, our civil rights were front and center. Even the LGBT delegate events were high-profile. It’s easier to list those who didn’t speak at an LGBT event in Charlotte. I can only think of three. But the first and second ladies of the nation did. As did cabinet members, senators and an esteemed list of high-profile speakers. This was the fourth Democrat Convention I’ve attended. The first was in 1984, where you could have put our caucus in a small room. This year, the tally was about 555 out LGBT delegates, and at our caucuses, the rooms were filled to capacity and had lines waiting to get in. All the non-LGBT speakers at the caucus meetings were great but two stood out. Newark Mayor Cory Booker literally stole the hearts of the delegates with his knowledge and passion for our community. And Delaware Gov. Jack Markell called his LGBT legislative victories one of the highlights of his administration, and brought up to the podium Lisa Goodman from Equality Delaware to make clear that it was the LGBT community that deserves credit for what politicians take credit for. It has to be a partnership between elected officials and the community. Some personal notes. As I write this, I’m literally in a state of tears. You see, in 1984, it was inconceivable to me that we’d see an American president, vice president and first lady delivering speeches from the con-

vention podium with upward of 20-million Americans watching on TV calling for LGBT equality. I can personally attest to this. While the Republicans consider us a security threat, the Democrats embrace us. When I got to my hotel, I discovered I had been put into the vice president block of rooms: My partner Jason and I had a Biden on one side of us. There was another one across the hall, and all the rooms in our hallway were staff. We even had the pleasure of being under Secret Service protection: We had a Secret Service detail right outside our door. At the HRC/Victory Fund Lunch, I got a hug from the first lady. Now for the clincher. I wasn’t sure if I’d write this, but hey, I love to share with my loyal readers. Many of you know that, years ago, I was once considered the most radical gay activist in the nation for my disruptions of TV shows and zapping homophobic politicians. I’ve boasted that I can break almost any security. Now it’s been years, but a little voice in my head said, Give it one last try and see if you still have it in you. So I decided to attempt to gain entrance to the holy of the holies last Wednesday: the Clinton suite. I’ve never revealed my techniques before, and I won’t now, but I literally did it. As I successfully stood outside Clinton’s suite, Room 7 on Founders Hall floor in the Royal Suite, a security person appeared and uttered, “Now, Mark,” and smiled. The rest of that story will be in my memoirs. I can’t give it all away — and I promised not to — but as I left the hall that night, all I could think of was the old man still has it, the incredible road we’ve traveled, and the hope for the future is brighter than any of us expect.  Q Mark Segal, PGN publisher, is the nation’s most-awardwinning commentator in LGBT media at

and voted on in November.

Google goes bi Since 2009 the word “bisexual,” was blacklisted by Google as a so-called dirty word. Along with other banned terms, it was deprioritized by the Google search algorithm. This led to a drop in search rankings for bisexual organizations and resources. But now, Google is finally acknowledging there’s more to bisexuality than porn and is removing the word from the list of dirty words.

DADT repeal had no affect on soldiers One year after the repeal of the ban on gay and lesbian service members serving openly was lifted, the first academic study found no lasting effects. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had been the U.S. policy since 1993, and a year after it was removed, no effects on troop readiness, recruiting efforts or unit cohesion have been registered. The study was conducted by the Williams Institute at University of California Los Angeles Law School.

wtf?! Minnesota voters split on gay marriage ban Minnesota voters will decide this November if they want to insert language into the state constitution banning gay marriage. Much like Utah’s Amendment 3, Minnesota is not deciding whether or not to legalize gay marriage, but to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman. Gay marriage is already illegal, but marriage equality opponents say they fear a court decision could overturn the law.

Producer faces jail time for gay-themed play in Uganda The British producer of Uganda’s first gaythemed play faces a possible two-year jail sentence. David Cecil was the producer of The River and the Mountain, which had a short, six-day run in Kampala in August. However, he did not obtain the proper clearance from the media council before staging the play, despite warnings from local officials. He was arrested and had his passport removed for violating an order.


A history of hate crimes in Utah


every crime committed in hatred for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender persons in Utah would take volumes. There are too many untold stories out of fear of rejection or that were simply buried. But in honor of Gay History Month, we’ve compiled a list of some that have affected our community. | Issue 211 | October, 2012

ter and sentenced up to 10 years in prison. Horning died in a car accident in 2007, Dyer is living in Evanston, Wyo.

Spence Mendenhall 1966 Status: Unsolved

The 54-year-old bachelor who lived alone in Salt Lake City was found dead in his apartment on Oct. 23, 1966. He was shot three times in the head. His table was set with two plates, two knives, two forks and three glasses on the day he died.


Dennis Piernick

1982 Status: Solved 30 years later Sentence: None

On May 16, 1982, Dennis Piernick was found dead in his Salt Lake City apartment. He had been stabbed multiple times in the head and neck. Piernick was gay, as were many key witnesses in the case who were afraid to come forward in the investigation. Leads dried up and no arrest was made. When the cold case was reviewed in 2011, a detective learned that Piernick’s former neighbor Rodney VanKomen confessed to a friend in 1983 that he had murdered Piernick. VanKomen died in an automobile accident in 2005.

Fort Douglas, 1864

Frederick Jones

1864 Status: Unsolved

Originally tried on sodomy charges in 1864 his case was dismissed because no formal laws were on the books. However, the Camp Douglas solider was shot by unknown assailants the same day his case was dismissed.

George Roy Moriarty

1965 Status: Solved

George Roy Moriarty


Sentence: 10 years Moriarty was slain Jan. 1, 1965, by Gary Lynn Horning and Leon Dyer. The three were partying and drinking when they went for a drive up Ogden Canyon. Dyer and Horning beat Moriarty and threw him down an embankment. Later, they ran him down in a car. After claiming gaypanic defense, they were convicted of manslaugh-

Tony Adams


1978 Status: Unsolved

Tony Adams, 25, was the campaign manager for the Socialist Party in Utah and a gayrights activist when he was murdered. His body was discovered three days after the crime, on Nov. 6, 1978, in his apartment with multiple stab wounds and his throat slit. The coroner later determined cause of death was three stab wounds to his chest, his throat was slit postmortem. There was no evidence of a robbery.

Doug Ray Coleman 1978 Status: Unsolved

The artist was an Ogden native who was last seen leaving the Sun Tavern in Salt Lake City and climbing into a box car at the Union Pacific Railroad on Dec. 1, 1978. He was shot in the head and witnesses saw two men fleeing the area. Robbery did not appear to be the motive.


Marty Shook

1982 Status: Unsolved

On June 12, 1982, Marty James Shook, a 22-year-old hitchhiker from Sparks, Nev., was killed execution-style in a canyon near Price, Utah. Shook was shot in the back of the head and his genitals were removed. His nude body was found by a fisherman. The

October, 2012 | Issue 211 |


crime is thought to be linked to a serial killer who was responsible for more than a dozen deaths that often left his victims mutilated and abandoned. The killer was never apprehended.

Douglas Koehler

1982 Status: Solved Sentence: Five years

After Koehler was gunned down, execution-style, by David Thacker in Park City on Aug.20, 1982, Thacker was sentenced to serve six years under a guilty manslaughter plea. The light sentence by Judge David S. Young, a descendant of Brigham Young, was protested by gayrights activists and he later lost a reelection bid, the first judge in Utah history to do so. Thacker now lives on a ranch in a rural community of Utah. He served only five years for shooting Koehler in the face with a rifle.

LANCE WOOD, Michael Archuletta

ing jumper cables, and tied him in chains. They stuffed him into the trunk of his own car and drove north on I-15 from Cedar City. After driving up a remote canyon, they removed Church from the trunk and raped him with a tire iron, puncturing his liver. They tried killing him by breaking his neck. When that didn’t work, Archuletta beat him to death with the tire iron and buried him in a shallow grave. Wood eventually told police about the crime hoping for leniency. Wood is serving a life sentence and Archuletta is on death row, awaiting his fifth appeal.

Gordon Lee Winslow

1988 Status: Solved Sentence: 15 years


Gordon Church

1988 Status: Solved Sentence: Death, life in prison

During the Thanksgiving holiday in 1988, Gordon Church was brutally tortured and slain for being gay. Lance Conway Wood and Michael Archuletta carved an ‘X’ into Church’s neck before raping him. Then, they attached the car battery to his genitals us-

The 46-year-old gay man was shot in the chest, July 11, 1988, in Jordan Park, a popular place for men to meet for sex. Mario Linn Fraga and Jacob Timothy Martinez MARIO FRAGA were later arrested. Fraga was sentenced one to 15 years for second degree murder, and Martinez, one to 15 years for involuntary manslaughter. Both were released early and Fraga was arrested again and convicted of child sexual abuse.

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A history of hate crimes in Utah COntinued

Darrell Webber

1989 Status: Solved Sentence: Acquitted | Issue 211 | October, 2012

in prison. Ly was never charged because Nguyen refused to testify against his friend. Later, in 2007, Nguyen escaped from the Garfield County Jail in an empty school bus and was found near Zions National Park after he stole a car.

1998 Status: Solved Sentence: None

The 25-year-old man was shot in Salt Lake City on Exchange Place (355 South between State and Main Streets) on Jan. 29, 1998, by Jay Lynn Peterson, 32, after Baxter made derogatory statements and used gay slurs about Peterson’s sexual orientation. The shooter went home and killed himself.

Kerry Arbon

Melissa Koolmo

The body of the 40-year-old closeted gay man was found by a bicyclist in City Creek Canyon on Sept. 14, 1991. The body was hidden above Memory Grove where men often frequented to find sexual partners.

Jerry Campbell

1990 Status: Unsolved

The 46-year taxi driver was a fixture at the Sun Tavern where he loved to play pool. He was found dead with one bullet hole in his head on Nov. 13, 1990, in his Salt Lake City apartment. No charges were ever filed and no arrests were made.

Chet O’Neil Harris

Brent Carpenter

1995 Status: Solved Sentence: Community service

Charles Baxter

A 38-year-old gay father of two was stabbed repeatedly and killed, April 6, 1989, by Marty Ray Withers, who claimed Webber was trying to sexually assault him. Withers was acquitted of all charges after an all-male jury agreed he was acting with reasonable force.

1991 Status: Unsolved

Temple and 200 South. He was beaten in the head with a lead pipe, which caused him to suffer seizures. Three years later he died of a seizure.

Brent Carpenter was 46 years old when he was beaten in a Logan, Utah, parking lot on April 13, 1995, because a man thought Carpenter had made a homosexual advance toward him. Carpenter is severely mentally handicapped and is a familiar sight in the city and at Utah State University where he rides his bike, waving and honking at passersby.

1998 Status: Solved Sentence: Life in prison

Melissa Koolmo was shot March 18, 1998, by her husband, Todd Koolmo, after he accused her of having a lesbian love affair. He turned himself in and is still in prison.



1993 Status: Solved Sentence: Up to 30 years; Acquitted

Harold Dean Hawker

The Ogden resident was shot and killed in a Salt Lake City alley on Aug. 21, 1993. Two Vietnamese immigrants, Tam Nguyen, 16, and Taun In Ly, 18, admitted to stealing a gun and robbing Harris because he was gay. Nguyen shot him in the neck in a Salt Lake City alley. After stealing his car, the pair returned to find Harris struggling to TAM NGUYEN move. Ly then shot him in the head. Nguyen was sentenced to two consecutive terms of one to 15 years

Sentence: Served three years Two Logan High School football players, Tracy Kendrick, 19, and Shayne Rhodes, 18, were arrested after brutally beating Harold Dean Hawker on a cold night in February 1988. The pair went to Ladybird Park to play a game they called “queer bashing.” Hawker has permanent brain damage and is disabled as a result of the beating. They each served three years in prison, and Kendrick has been in and out of jail since the early 1990s.

1988 Status: Solved

Terry Nelson

1990 Status: Unsolved

The 40-year-old man was attacked by a group of young men on July 26, 1990, as he walked home from the gay bars of West

Josh Shuck


2006 Status: Solved Sentence: 15 months

Josh Shuck was tackled and his head was slammed against the ground at an October 2006 Salt Lake City Jazz Festival while his attacker shouted gay slurs. The attack resulted in two crushed vertebrae. Mark Handley pleaded guilty to public intoxication and was faced with a fine and up to 15 months in jail.

DJ Bell, Dan Fair

2008 Status: Solved Sentence: Five years

Attacked, beaten and falsely accused of child kidnapping. It took years after the July 4, 2008, attack for the assailants to be brought to justice. Ricky Ian Peace, 34; Leti David Mageo, 33; and Letitaia Tavita Nuusila, 27, were sentenced zero to five years in prison


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

for all three charges of assault; however, they are allowed to serve all three sentences concurrently. The fourth person, Lulu Latu, was sentenced to serve 365 days in jail, but 180 days of the sentence was waived.

went to Piper Down, a popular Salt Lake City bar, for karaoke. They were attacked as they left the bar. Despite credit card receipts, a detailed description and surveillance video footage, the attackers were never apprehended.

Dane Hall

2011 Status: Unsolved

After he was attacked outside Club Sound in Salt Lake City on Aug. 27, 2011, and called gay slurs, Utah’s queer community rallied in support of the 20-year-old. However, no arrests were made and no suspects were named.

Cameron Nelson CARLOS LOPEZ

Carlos Lopez

2008 Status: Solved Sentence: One year

On Aug. 9, 2008, Fa Junior MoiMoi was one of several suspects who attacked at least three people at an evening gathering in the Ensign Peak area, a popular hangout spot for young adults. One of the victims, Carlos Lopez, said that MoiMoi and at least five other men attacked him, his sister and his aunt when MoiMoi asked if Lopez was gay and Lopez did not respond. Moi Moi was sentenced to serve one year in prison.

2011 Status: Unsolved

The 32-year-old man was attacked in American Fork, Utah, Sept. 8, by three assailants who shouted gay slurs and the case was investigated as a possible hate-motivated crime. No arrests were made.


Jake Allred

2012 Status: Unsolved

Ryan Gray

Ryan Gray, Kevin Burns 2007 Status: Unsolved

An assault on a gay couple left Gray and Burns with black eyes, stitches and potential surgeries. On Wednesday, April 7, 2010, Gray and his partner, Burns,

Jake Allred was outside Maxwell’s in Salt Lake City on July 7, 2012, when a man approached him and asked him if he found some women in the bar attractive. After Allred ignored him, the assailant said, “you kind of sound like a faggot.” The attacker then slammed a glass into the side of Allred’s head. He had more than 20 internal stitches to close ruptured arteries and 26 external stitches. His attacker was never found.  Q

34  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  ALLIES | Issue 211 | October, 2012


‘QSaltLake’ salutes our many allies With Equality Utah’s Allies Dinner, the second annual Pink Dot Utah and the Moab Pride Festival all landing within weeks of each other, QSaltLake is dedicating this issue to our fabulous straight supporters. Without a broad coalition of politicians, athletes, actors, musicians, artists and role models, we would not have achieved our many victories. We reached out to people who you may not realize are supporters of queer Utah and asked them why and how they took a stand. Be sure to read about Bert McCracken, frontman for platinumselling rockers, The Used, three interviews with Real Salt Lake soccer players and queer rights activist Zach Wahls.

The Used: Punk rock, backflips and gay rights By Seth Bracken


record-breaking punk band The Used are a genuine rags-to-riches story from the heart of Utah County. After a history of drug use and alcohol abuse, frontman Bert McCracken led the band to superstardom as one of the most influential screamo, emo, punk rock bands in the scene. As the crowds at shows around the country grew, The Used sold more than 3 million records and reached the top of alternative charts. Now, more than a half-dozen records later, and rebounding off a headlining spot on the Vans Warped Tour, The Used will be playing the local X96 Big Ass Show at the Gallivan Center on Sept. 29. Next year, The Used will take a lead spot on the Take Action Tour, which will donate proceeds to the It Gets Better Project, a cause McCracken said hits close to home. “I’ve never really fit in, but that’s really defined who I am and how far I’ve come. It enabled me to embrace my individual-

October, 2012 | Issue 211 |


What does it mean to be truly authentic and to really know who you are?

ity,” he said. “When they physically harmed me, when they mentally harmed me, when they spiritually harmed me, it became the building blocks for the things I wanted to accomplish. And when you look at the people who put me down and where they are now... They’re not doing shit and I’m living my dreams.” While McCracken doesn’t identify as gay, he is a strong ally to the community and knows what it’s like to be an outsider in a small conservative town in Utah. He was raised in a Mormon family, and while McCracken is proud of his roots, his eyeliner and makeup didn’t always sit well with his classmates. “They called me the f-a-g word and spread rumors about me sucking the principal. It got really bad,” he said. After dropping out of school when he was 16, McCracken was kicked out of his house and developed a drug habit. It wasn’t until he joined The Used that he was able to sober up. He still credits music with saving his life. His chain-smoking, scratched voice and screaming, intense and poetic lyrics led his damaged esophagus to elicit vomit at many of his shows. The raw and guttural sounds of McCracken and The Used defined a punk-rock genre that was altogether new, especially in Utah. As if providing a cosmic balance to Utah’s only other famous group — The Used’s music and style are the antith-

esis of Donny and Marie. His legendary vomiting and backflips on stage were dwarfed in publicity only by his penchant for kissing other men. As part of a progress across albums, McCracken has taken his band independent and the album, Vulnerable, offers a message of hope for the outcasts and misfits. “I think each record is a snapshot — a new chapter in our lives,” he said. “So many people associate vulnerability with weakness. But to accomplish anything truly amazing, you need to be vulnerable at some point. I think most people can identify with that message.” McCracken is a poster child for pushing through the tough times and remaining true to creativity and individuality. And he said he hopes his young gay fans in Utah stick through the difficult times. “It’s so rough growing up and when you’re different. Whether it’s because you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, or you just don’t fit in. By staying true to yourself and being who you are you expose yourself to ridicule. But things do progress and get better. Just get a few years away from the situation and you’ll see what a difference it can make,” McCracken said. “I think the world is opening its arms up a little more — gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender — it doesn’t define who you are. Be honest with yourself and who you are.”  Q For tickets to the X96 Big Ass Show, go to

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36  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  ALLIES | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Brian Dunseth takes a stand for gay rights Former


Real Salt Lake teammate and current Salt Lake City resident Brian Dunseth was a consistent presence on the team’s defense throughout their 2005 season. While struggling through injuries, Dunseth helped shape the team in its opening season. This pro soccer player who has played in professional leagues around the world is also an outspoken advocate for gay rights and even participated in the NOH8 photo campaign. We caught up with him to ask him about gay marriage, gays in Major League Soccer and how he got involved in the NOH8 Campaign.

How did you get connected with the NOH8 Campaign?  I was contacted via Twitter by my buddy Chris from Gay4Soccer a couple of months back. He let me know that the NOH8 Campaign was coming through Salt Lake City and gave me all of the details. Why did you feel it was important to take a stand and a photo?  The opportunity to be a part of something that promoted a basic human right and is taken for granted by so many was something that I and my family wanted to be involved with. My wife, Jade,

would have also been in the picture, but she had something come up at work the day of, so it ended up being just my son, Shia, and me. How open is the environment in MLS?  I would like to think that because of the incredible amount of diversity inside the locker rooms that I’ve been a part of, someone would feel comfortable with opening up to his teammates. It didn’t happen when I was a player, but I had a few teammates tell me afterward. How would you have reacted if a team member came out as gay?  I hopefully would have reacted that same way if a teammate was talking to me about something going on in their personal life outside the game. Do you have friends or family members that are gay?  I had a very unique upbringing that has given me more advantages in life than I ever could have imagined. My father told me he was gay when I was 12 years old. I’ve been able to see, up-close and personal, loving relationships from both sides, as well as creating relationships that made me a much better person as I grew older. Some of closest relationships my wife and I have are with friends that are gay. Do you have any advice for your young gay fans?  Be true to yourself. “You’re never as good as they say nor as bad as they say” was the quote that has personally stuck with me the most over the years.  Q


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |


Jonny Steele loves Pride, gay clubs, tolerance He may

be a newcomer to the Real Salt Lake squad, but Jonny Steele has come through at just the right moment. The Northern Irish soccer player landed his spot on the Salt Lake squad earlier this year and has already played more than 20 games, scoring eight goals — several in the last few minutes of the game. This solid midfielder is also an avid advocate for individuality and attended his first Pride Festival last summer in Salt Lake City. We spoke with him about his experiences in Utah and what the environment would be like for gays in Major League Soccer. Why did you decide to check out the Pride Festival last summer?  One of my friends told me about the festival. I was pretty new to Salt Lake and I had a day off, so we decided to go down and check it out. Was it your first Pride Festival?  Yes, it was my first festival and an eyeopener. But I had fun and got a chance to mix in with the festival and grab a few Bud Lights! You tweeted about attending the festival. Were you nervous to tweet about going to a Pride Festival?  I tweet most things I do daily. I wasn’t at all nervous about it. I do the things that I want to do, not what others expect or assume I should do. That’s one of the reasons I went down there — to see people express themselves without any worries, just being themselves. How open is the environment in MLS?  I’m not sure how open the environment is in MLS. But I’m sure the lads would just embrace a player the same as anyone else. You’re judged on your play, not your sexuality. Do you have any gay friends or family members?  Yeah, I have a lot of very good gay friends that I’m in constant contact. I also talk to them about how they’re judged and peoples’ perspectives. I’ve seen and heard stories of small-minded people. It’s 2012 and time to be you, not what others want you to be! I’ve been out many times with them all and never felt uncomfortable in any environment or club we went to. Do you have any advice for your young gay fans?  Not really. I just say be yourself and the people that love you will always love you and stand by your side. Life is not based on sexuality. At the end of the day, who has the right to judge others?  Q

38  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  ALLIES | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Chris Wingert says out athletes not a big deal Since


joining Real Salt Lake in 2007, Chris Wingert has carved out a unique position as an aggressive offensive powerhouse. He even scored a critical penalty kick in the 2009 MLS championships to help his team take home the trophy. He was voted the 2003 Hermann Trophy winner as that year’s best collegiate player and he’s now a key part of Real’s overall strategy. But what many may not know is that he’s also an unabashed supporter of gay rights and participated in t he NOH8 Campaign. We caught up with him to ask him about how he got involved. How did you get connected with the NOH8 Campaign?  A friend of mine, Brian Dunseth, told me about it. He asked me if I would be interested in going to the photo shoot with him. I said absolutely.

Why did you feel it was important to take a stand and a photo?  To be honest, I didn’t realize it was going to be such a big deal and so professionally done. I was really impressed when I got down there and saw what was going on. For me, I thought it was a good way to take a stand for an important issue, especially as a silent protest in a positive manner. How open is the environment in MLS?  Soccer is such a diverse sport to begin with — all the countries, ethnic backgrounds, social environments, cultures and languages you find on a single team — for me it is just another difference we don’t really focus on. Being a team sport, diversity and acceptance is something we sort of have to overcome in order to do our jobs.

How would you and others react if a team member came out as gay?  Well, I can’t speak for others, but I don’t really think it would be that big of a deal. One of my former teammates did come out, David Testo. He didn’t officially come out until after he and I played on the U-23 National Team and with the Columbus Crew, but it was something some of us knew prior to him stating it publicly. I roomed with him on many road trips, and Davis and I are good friends. Certainly his coming out would never change that. Do you family members that are gay?  My first cousin, Jason, is gay. He was one of the first people to hit me up after I posted my NOH8 photo. He thanked me and wanted to hear about the experience. Do you have any advice for your young gay fans?  Everyone’s situation is different. Although I wouldn’t want to pretend to know what it’s like to be in their shoes, I would encourage them to be honest, and hopefully their honesty will give them strength and in turn help others along the way.  Q



October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

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“ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ “ These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn’t be making a deal out of. They go on and on with all this bullshit about ‘sanctity.’ Don’t give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.”

—Clint Eastwood

We speak for the entire Giants organization when we say that there is no place in society for hatred and bullying against anyone.”

—San Francisco Giants pitcher Barry Zito

Like being a woman, like being a racial religious tribal or ethnic minority, being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are Human Rights and Human Rights are gay rights.”

—Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

No country should deny people their rights because of who they love, which is why we must stand up for the rights of gays and lesbians everywhere.”

—President Barack Obama

I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn’t.” —Kurt Cobain

Without gay men, I am nothing.”

—Janice Dickison

Gay people are the sweetest, kindest, most artistic, warmest and most thoughtful people in the world. And since the beginning of time all they’ve ever been is kicked.”

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Gay marriage is inevitable. The next generation, they get it. It is just a matter of time before it becomes a reality.”

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40  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  ALLIES | Issue 211 | October, 2012

By Seth Bracken


in the footsteps of The Used and Neon Trees, the Utah County natives behind Imagine Dragons have made it into the big time. Skyrocketing to the top of iTunes downloads and working their way through the Billboard Top 200, the first full-length album released by the band, Night Visions, is the result of three years of hard work. The first single from the album released earlier this month, “It’s Time,” was nominated for a Video Music Award and will be featured on an upcoming episode of Glee. The young, sexy and talented group returns to Utah on Saturday, Sept. 19 for the X96 Big Ass Show. Defining the sound of Imagine Dragons is tough. Equal parts Phil Collins, The

Killers and Kings of Leon, the group use heavy melodic beats to drive home catchy radio-ready pop rock hits. “I think that percussion is really important to us and it’s something that reaches across all boundaries, cultures, musical tastes and genres. I think percussion is something that can speak to everyone,” said guitarist Wayne Sermon. Sermon, bassist Ben McKee, and drummer Daniel Platzman met at the Berklee College of Music in Boston, where all the band members except singer Dan Reynolds attended. After relocating to Las Vegas and playing every seedy bar and club in town, the band finally signed to Interscope Records and released their first album with the help of producer Alex da Kid (known

for his work with Eminem and Rihanna). “It’s just been amazing. We’re so excited about releasing our album and can’t wait to come back to Utah for the show,” Sermon said. “To think that we’ll even just be able to pay rent and utilities and buy some food, even if it’s just Ramen, I think we’ll feel like we’ve finally made it.” Drawing on inspiration from favorite bands such as Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Boston, Paul Simon and some more contemporary groups, Imagine Dragon’s lyrics are instantly lovable and impossible to eradicate after they get stuck in your head. Chock full of more soul and anguish than a band from Utah County ought to be able to muster, Sermon said most of the lyrics are inspired after dark.

October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

“That’s where we get the title Night Visions,” he said. “I’m an insomniac and can go days without sleeping. Some of my best work comes from about midnight to 4 a.m. when everyone else is asleep.” However, it’s not just strong and emotional lyrics that fill the album and many of the album highlights, perhaps most notably, “Nothing Left to Say/Rocks,” is downright bubbly. But gathering that diverse range of emotions and styles is exactly what Imagine Dragons wants to do, Sermon said. “Freddy Mercury is my favorite frontman of all time. I think he is exactly what a band needs and the world is so ready for another Freddy Mercury,” Sermon said. “And I see no reason why someone’s sexual orientation should change how hard they can rock.” While he doesn’t identify as gay, there are plenty of gays in the industry and Sermon said he hopes everyone can feel comfortable at their shows. “We are a band of inclusion and acceptance of all walks of life. We want our music to be universal and apply to as many people as possible - gay or straight. No matter where you stand politically, there’s room for acceptance. We could all use a little more understanding and help,” he said. As for where the band came up with their imaginative name, it’s actually an anagram for something deeply personal to the band members. When asked for a hint, Sermon laughed and said, “There are some hints out there. It’s possible that someone could figure it out. I’m not going to say how, but it’s possible.” For tickets to the X96 Big Ass Show, go to

Sodomy Laws: The First 100 Years (Continued from page 23)

Rio Grande Depot train yards. However, he was sentenced to only one year in prison, as the prosecuting attorney argued that the state could not afford the expense of a long incarceration. “All the interest that the state has in this case, or could have, is just a technical theory of a violation of the law… (and) in view of the fact that in the time of this depression, when the county and the city and all of us need money for the relief of our citizens… the expense required to keep this defendant


there (in prison) for three to 20 years would be a whole lot more than what would benefit the state.” Ten years later in 1942, when the state was flushed with cash from the influx of federal jobs during World War II, the state had no qualms about sentencing homosexuals to long terms in prison. In stark contrast to Charles Brown, Robert E. Little was convicted of sodomy and sentenced by the 3rd District Court to serve three to 20 years. Evidently his imprisonment was viewed as a benefit to the state. Surprisingly, Utah became the first state to reference the

Kinsey Report in a sodomy case before the Utah Supreme Court. In January 1949, a justice on the Utah Supreme Court referred to the Kinsey study while ruling on Utah v. Cooper. Justice James Wolfe wrote, “Congenital homosexuals, and to a certain extent, psychopathic homosexuals, may be wholly unresponsible for their homosexual acts. They are motivated by biological and physiological factors which may be beyond their power to combat or control.” Two other members of the five Utah Supreme Justices joined Wolfe, giving his opinion precedent value.  Q


Every day brings different changes and challenges that define who you are. But something you should never experiences is being bullied, intimidated or being pressured into being someone or something you are not.”

—Ricky Jean Francois, Isaac Sopoaga, Donte Whitner and Ahmad Brooks of the San Francisco 49ers

I wish they would realize that it’s not a religion issue. It’s not a government issue. It’s not even a gay/straight issue or a question of your manhood. It’s a human issue.”

—Scott Fujita of the Cleveland Browns | Issue 211 | October, 2012

It’s insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It’s embarrassing, and it’s heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I’m completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we’ll be ashamed that this was an issue.”

Q salt lake’s

—Chris Evans (Captain America)




October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

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NOV 2-3, 6-10

eber State University Department of Performing Arts • 2012-13 Theatre Season • • tickets: 801-626-7000 or

44  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  TRAVEL | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Cruising through Central Europe

unbelievable air conditioning (trust me, in Europe, that’s a hot commodity), make the ship a true five-star experience. As you cozily sleep through the night or calmly watch the countryside pass by from the top deck, the Amacerto travels at night to bring you to another gay- and lesbianfriendly destination. We traversed our way through Germany, Austria, Slovakia and Hungary to end our trip in breathtaking Budapest. Each day, breakfast, lunch and dinner were served on-board. While all the meals were scrumptious and included in the purchase cost, the dinner menu with complimentary wine pairings was the highlight. Serving up delicacies such as roast duck, lamb chops, river fish and shrimp appetizers, there were also rib-eye steaks, pasta and local dishes (think beer, pretzels and bratwurst). Each meal and wine pairing matched the local culture, cuisine and flair. The wine selection was explained in great detail on the menu, highlighting the chef’s

By Seth Bracken

Well into

the third glass of Czech wine at the opening social, it finally sunk in — this wasn’t the stereotypical all-gay circuit party cruise. Normally, images of gay cruises include crowds of hard-bodied Adonises, 24-hour partying and a steady techno beat. But Brand g Vacation’s inaugural cruise along the Danube River was an intellectual, cultural, culinary immersion experience of a lifetime. The nine-day adventure kicked off in the stunning city of Prague in the Czech Republic. For two days, guided tours were offered of the ancient city. Whether guests were looking to see the city with a gaggle of gays or to experience a more authentic side to the city sans tour guides, Brand g Vacations representatives were ever-

present at the host hotel to recommend restaurants, offer directions to popular sites and bars and ensure that all guests felt welcome. With more than a dozen gay cafes, pubs and clubs, Prague was perfect for bar hopping — a welcome relief from Utah gay nightlife. After departing Prague, we took a shuttle to Regensburg, Germany and boarded our ship, The Amacerto. This new ship was launched in spring of this year and is owned and operated by AMA Waterways. It is the definition of river cruise luxury. From its marbled entryway to the tiled bathrooms with double-headed showers, the ship put even the most exquisite ocean liner to shame. With approximately 150 guests and 60 crewmen, instead of being inundated with crowds, the Amacerto feels like a floating boutique hotel. Each crewman was uncommonly helpful with everything from sending postcards for free to arranging taxi services and cleaning rooms up to three times a day. Amenities such as free on-board wireless internet, pillow-top beds and

selections and showing off various tastes and textures. And the waiters certainly were not shy about sharing the nectar — it was practically impossible to leave the restaurant without drinking several glasses each night. The waiters also filled our glasses as we left to enjoy an evening soak in the top-deck hot tub or listen to fabulous entertainment. Waking up each morning in a different European city without the stress of changing hotels, making train connections and dealing with varying public transit systems is the ideal way to experience different


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

cities and towns of all sizes and backgrounds. With the inclusion of transport, food, coffee, alcohol, guides and many other amenities, river cruises are also economical options that help the budget-conscience experience another thrilling part of the world. We stopped in three major metropolitan areas and saw gargantuan churches, castle complexes and museums galore in Prague, Vienna and Budapest. Spending two days in Vienna, we were docked within walking distance of a major subway line that fed directly to the city center — and the gay center. Vienna’s gay nightlife is astoundingly diverse. From some of the classiest, chic lounges serving delicious beer to kinky back-room bars with slings and sex labyrinths, there’s something for even the most discerning gay in the City of Music. But it was the smaller towns, such as a charming village of Durnstein in the Wachau Valley of Austria that stood out. Hiking to the castle where King Richard the Lionheart (of Robin Hood fame) was held and touring a vintage winery showcased another benefit of a river cruise as opposed to hostel-hopping. Instead of wasting time moving from one city to the next we were able to enjoy a stressfree travel and save time for off-beat destinations. The wine tours, abbey explorations and classical concerts attracted an older, more gentrified crowd than other, larger gay ocean cruises. The environment was relaxed and comfortable. From lawyers who lived through gay bar raids in Los Angeles in the ’60s to government workers who survived the AIDS crisis in New York — everyone had a story to tell. The tone of the cruise and friendliness of its guests was set by Brand g Vacations CEO Charlie Rounds and his associate Brian Van Wey. The company charters the entire boat, which allows guests to experience the AMA Waterways excellence in the company of other gay and gay-friendly travelers. Rounds is a veteran in gay travel and helped launch RSVP, another popular gay travel company. Rounds and Van Wey were caring, helpful and knowledgeable about each area we visited. They were very familiar with the destinations and were outstanding guides in unfamiliar territory. The optional extended stay in Budapest, Hungary, allowed guests to experience a city coming out of oppression and finding its rhythm amongst other major destinations in Europe. While a bit challenging and overwhelming at first, after visiting the other cities, seeing the vibrant (and kinky) nightlife of Budapest was the perfect ending to an ambitious voyage. As cliché as it may sound, a trip down the Danube River was legendary. The sights, sounds and smells of major European cities and ancient villages were inspirational, educational and just plain fantastic. AMA Waterways has regular cruises through the area and Brand g Vacations has a Burgundy and Provence river cruise planned for August 2013 and a Vietnam and Cambodia river cruise in October 2013. Q

visit our student spa esthetics: the art of enhancing the face and body both physically 801.530.0001 and psychologically




other morning at Off Trax, Jesse confessed to me that he’s


17 things you should do this month

the Storm’s bucket seats were actually quite accommodating for gay sex ... but I digress! Brent Hartinger’s Geography Club is a fast-paced, funny and incisive play about contemporary (LGBT) students who form sort of a secret-society club. This sounds like Dead Poet’s Society but with better outfits.

(More events at

7:30pm, through Oct. 7, Studio 115, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $11–13, 801-581-7100 or


By Tony Hobday




Skype whore ... in other words he’s a 21st century virtual slut. And don’t get

Each third Friday of the month, there’s a fundraising evening of bingo — hence the name Third Friday Bingo — hosted by camp-drag troupe The Matrons of Mayhem. I, however, refer to them as the Mattresses of Mayhem because, well frankly, I’ve slept with them all ... strictly platonic of course. They do cause a raucous though in their sleep. For instance Ruby Ridge chews on her nails and incessantly beseeches Miley Cyrus for her hairdresser’s phone number. This month, The Matrons will be raising money for QSaltLake’s ‘Save Q’ program. Michael Aaron will be available for $2 spankings to any who have the urge. I’ll be first in line with $80, just sayin’!

me started on Jim-

7pm, First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East. $5 bingo cards.

my next door — if

Fifteen-year-old Vernon, troubled and misunderstood, flees his small-town Texas home when his friend commits suicide after killing 16 bullying classmates and the town’s suspicion and vengeance falls on him. This stage adaptation of Vernon God Little, DBC Pierre’s debut Booker Prizewinning novel, is a provocatively satirical, riotously funny look at violence, materialism and trial by the American media.

Grindr didn’t exist, I don’t know what he’d do with his hands all day. Those boys are so freakin’ gay, they probably shoot feather boas ... just putting it out there, do with it what you will. | Issue 211 | October, 2012

7:30pm, through Sept. 30, Babcock Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $8–15, 801-581-7100 or

Jason Metcalf is a twentysomething artist recently graduated from BYU. In his new exhibition called ABRACADABRA, Metcalf has researched, re-enacted and refreshed languages of superstition long forgotten from day-to-day

vernacular rooted in places as far as Haiti and as near as the Sanpete Valley. He says, “These actions are intimate and immediate, and have the potential to transcend their designation as art.” Regular gallery hours, through Dec. 22, Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple. Free, 801-328-4201 or


The second annual Moab Pride Festival includes a Friday night Moulin Rouge-inspired Orange Party, a visibility march on Saturday morning and the festival itself Saturday afternoon, followed by an after party with DJ Jen Woolfe at Woody’s Tavern. Special guest speaker is Zach Wahls, author of My Two Moms.

Times and venues vary, through Sept. 29, Moab, Utah. For more info visit


Moved to a more intimate venue this year, the X96 Big Ass Show is bound to be a groping of porn industry magnitude. This year’s incredible lineup, on two stages, includes Neon Trees, The Used, Grouplove, AWOLNATION, Imagine Dragons, Eve 6, The Wombats, Dead Sara, and Twin Atlantic. 1pm, Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main St. Tickets $25–30, 801-487-8499 or

3wednesday  I was in my high school’s Geography Club; we talked endlessly about how the Metro XSi model lacked horsepower and that come-hither quality, and how


Repertory Dance Company presents Embark, an evening of innovative and revolutionary dance. A Utah premiere of Merce Cunningham’s 1965 “How to Pass, Kick, Fall and Run,” delivers a string of stories and anecdotes, a mix of quirky poetry, zen proverbs and family history. Also, dancers will “embark” on a new project — creating choreography by incorporating movement phrases contributed by the community ... Come enjoy your “eight seconds of fame.” Oooo ... sounds sexy, like riding a mechanical bull. 7:30pm, through Oct. 6, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $20, 801-355-ARTS or


Los Angelesbased comedian Thai Rivera is gay, or as he says “a fag, but not a fag comic” and he’s here in Salt Lake for an evening of politically incorrect humor, as only he can do. He has performed on the Jo Koy Comedy Tour, and he has been featured on Comedy Central’s Live At Gotham and Logo’s One Night Stand Up.

7:30pm, The Vibe @ The Complex, 536 W. 100 South. Tickets $7–10, 801-6602295 or


The Salt Lake Men’s Choir is singing in the temple on conference weekend! In celebration of 30 years of singing and dancing and comedy, the choir presents Brothers, Sing On!, a collection of music and costumes from their “rainbow-hued” history. 7:30pm, Masonic Temple, 650 E. South Temple. Tickets $15,


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |


Hey all you Wendover Will’s willy wonkers, it’s the first Big Gay Fun Bus of the season, yaaaaaay! Don’t miss out on this Halloweenie-themed charter to Very Little Vegas. There will be bingo, prizes, libations and candied corn ... oh wait, those are actually Ruby’s breasts, never mind.


Corin Tucker, a bisexual singer and guitarist, is best known for her work with Sleater-Kinney, a riot grrl band she formed in 1994. She went on to other bands and eventually formed The Corin Tucker Band, a solo act, in 2010. With one album out to date, she will be playing off this “middle-aged mom record” tonight for all the riotous grrls in Utah. 9pm, Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East. Tickets $10–12,


Living the past, and I’m OK with this, is the new wave/post-punk rock group The Psychedelic Furs, who had a great run of recordings from the ’70s to the early ’90s — my formative years. Their music combined poetic lyrics, innovative rhythms and melodies driven by an aggressive, punk desperation. Some of their bigger hits include “Love My Way,” “Pretty In Pink” and “The Ghost In You.” 8pm, The State Room, 638 S. State St. Tickets $35, 800-501-2885 or


Love is never simple when a gypsy’s curse is involved. Il Travatore is a lively story of romance, obsession, and revenge. The turmoil and rage that unfold after a gypsy’s unthinkable act climax into one of opera’s greatest finales — an act filled with sword fights, death, revenge and ultimately regret. Sung in Italian, presented by the Utah Opera.

7:30pm, through Oct. 21, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $15–83, 801-355-ARTS or


Filmed at a 2008 performance in London, Sigur Rós: INNI is a musical portrait of the Icelandic band’s unique genre. Captured in a dreamlike haze of throbbing black and white that mirrors the band’s haunting, otherworldly songs, this eccentric profile is a shimmering example of what it means to show rather than tell. Presented as part of the Damn These Heels Yearround Film Series.

upcoming events Nov. 4 Morrissey @Kingsbury Hall

Nov. 17 Lisa Lampanelli @Peppermill Concert Hall, Wendover

Noon–9pm, pick up at Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South. Tickets $25, 1-800838-3006 or

24wednesday Experience the “Victoriandustrial” sound of Emilie Autumn on her Fight Like A Girl Tour. This self-identified asexual, glam-rock singer, musician and poet will wow the crowd with her talents on the piano and violin, as well as with her dramatic vocal range. Plus, she wears exciting divaesque outfits.

7pm, The Grand @ The Complex, 536 W. 100 South. Tickets $18 adv/$25 day of show, 801-467-8499 or

801-554-0890 1055 E 2100 S, Ste. 202 Sugar House

7pm, Brewvies Cinema Pub, 677 S. 200 West. Free, 801-355-5500.

Hailing from New Zealand, Kimbra, 22, is one of the most talked about new singer-songwriters in the U.S. Her electric pop/soul/jazz melodies are catchy and offer something that is very much her own. However, her collaboration with Gotye on “Somebody That I Used to Know” is what prompted her notoriety.


In London during the late 19th century there was a goodhearted doctor who loved his father so much that he went to extremes to cure him of his mental illness. What ensued was the loss of the doctor’s own mental capacity. Welcome to Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical. Presented by Dark Horse Company Theatre, this show is a sinister yet lyrically charming show about the fight between good and evil in all of us.

8pm, The Depot, 13 N. 400 West. Tickets $17.50 adv/$20 day of show, 801-467-8499 or

8pm, through Oct. 28, Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main St., Park City. Tickets $25–45, 435-649-9371,



48  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  A&E | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Silly Lily By Chris Azzopardi


talks longtime relationship, gay repression and retirement rumors Lily Tomlin launched her career over four decades ago with a timeless clan of wacky characters that she established on NBC’s sketch comedy show Rowan and Martin’s LaughIn. But what if she had to be friends

with Edith Ann, Ernestine or Susie the Sorority Girl? It’s something the veteran comedian and actress, who’s starred in The West Wing and Desperate Housewives, never considered until now, making Tomlin rethink her entire career. Tomlin also dished on how, despite rumors, she has no plans to retire; missing the “the sneaking around” before gay liberation; and what we can expect from her progressive, pot-smoking part alongside Reba McEntire in her first major sitcom role since Murphy Brown. Of all your iconic characters, do you have a favorite?  They’re like kids. You don’t show partiality. It just seems wrong. Would you want to be friends with any of them?  Let me think. You’re right. Golly, they’re bad news. (Laughs) I don’t know if I want to be friends with any of them! This is a startling awakening. No one’s ever asked me that question. I was running through them really quickly and I thought, “Well, that one would be a handful, and this is a high-maintenance relationship.” Right! Could you imagine being friends with Edith Ann?  Imagine having to be her mother! I had an Edith Ann puppet with eyes and a tongue — and everything was animatronics — and we never did anything with her, but I was so wanting a kids show starring Edith Ann. Anyway, so she sits in a big old box right now. Poor thing. She’s probably all deteriorated. But they sculpted the puppet head after me — the way I perform her — and it had a vague resemblance to me. It was always sort of spooky. (Laughs)


So, let me get this straight: Your characters are needy and they scare the hell out of you. You might want to rethink your career, Lily.  (Laughs) Oh gosh. This has been revelatory. This one question is something I had never heard in my life and never even contemplated. You and your partner, Jane Wagner, have been together for more than 40 years, right?  Yeah. It’s been ... what is this? 2012? I have to think back. It’s 41 years, but it’ll be 42 years in March. Back then, when you realized you were gay, people didn’t even acknowledge it. Gay was taboo. Do you think that’s part of the reason you and Jane have been together so long but haven’t married? Because you never expected to?  No, I don’t think so. I guess it doesn’t mean that much. With the concept of marriage, I’ve been a little too flippant and I’ve said things like, “I was hoping the gay community would come up with a better idea than imitating heterosexual marriage.” (Laughs) But no, I know plenty of people who married and who are pleased about it and are happy. I guess if we had any kids, it would mean something more. Neither of us is religious, so that means nothing to us. I’m proud and happy for it, for people who want to be married. I suppose symbolically it would’ve been nice if we had gotten married for anybody who’s interested. You talk about Jane as your partner to the press often now. Was that always the case?  I used to talk about her all the time. I just talked about it naturally, but in those days people just did not write that way. When I was on the cover of Time in ’77, my publicist had almost pulled off the old two-cover coup where you get Newsweek and Time. It’s not even important anymore. For both stories, Jane would be there. It was nothing. One story, I can’t remember which one, said, “Lily lives alone in the Hollywood Hills”; another one said that we shared a


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

house — me and writer Jane Wagner. They knew we were a couple. They used to protect us. The journalists would protect us just like they would protect politicians in the old days. You probably never imagined you’d be talking to gay publications like you do so often now. Is that different for you?  Yeah, of course it is. We had the Advocate. Vito Russo, who was my good friend, did a piece on me in the Advocate. What year was that? Probably sometime in the ’70s. And he didn’t want to out me in a really big way that would bring any kind of repercussions on me at that time, because I was very, very popular from Laugh-In. I said to him, “Look, I want to do the piece but I don’t want to lie. It’s too embarrassing and too awkward to do that.” I said, “I’m leaving it up to you. I’m not going to try to influence whatever you do.” So in the piece, I do say to him, “Look, if we don’t talk about the gay issue it’s going to look very strange.” And he kept writing in that vein. But it was never explicit; of course, I’d get a lot of flack for it, a lot of heat. People weren’t that ... I want to say hip. Isn’t it amazing how much progress we’ve made since then?  It’s been remarkable. I mean, it’s not enough if it’s still an issue, but yeah, I’ve been just really dazzled by the activism and the refusal to disappear and be invisible. But I’ll tell you: You miss a little bit of repression, just on the sexy side. The sneaking around. Any kind of taboo is always a little more titillating. Your upcoming series, Malibu Country, (premieres Nov. 2, ABC) features a flamboyant record executive played by Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and a next-door neighbor who’s gay. Were you surprised that a show starring Reba McEntire,

whose fan base tends to be ultra conservative, was so gay and progressive?  Yeah, and I’m not sure where they’re going to take the kid next door, but I hope Lillie Mae gets very political. I’ve sort of pitched that to them, to go in that direction with my character. She’s just more enlightened than Reba, even though she’s Reba’s mother. She’s just more open and expansive, where Reba is a little more Nashville and shut down. She’ll definitely be more progressive. So your character’s name isn’t Shirley anymore?  I changed it. It’s Lillie Mae. I changed it to my mother’s name. What about the character interested you? The gray wig?  (Laughs) I built that wig! I had that wig made. Wigs always interest me. Haven’t you ever heard of Wigstock? I’m kidding. I have a wig room; I have at least 50 to 70 wigs. I’m kind of a wig queen. You know, first of all, Reba. I’m not close friends with Reba or anything, but my brother lives in Nashville, and my mother and dad are both buried in Nashville, and so having those Southern roots, I know the culture very well. I’ve always liked Reba, but then I saw her in Annie Get Your Gun in ’99 and she was drop-dead brilliant. People still talk about it. She was so alive in that role. I’ve never forgotten that. And because in the pilot Lillie Mae smokes dope, I thought this is a great chance to do an older person who’s just really open to everything. Word is that you’re retiring after this series, which you mentioned during the recent Television Critics Association panel. Is that true?  I said it as a joke. Somebody in the audience asked me a question, something about playing a woman of a certain age; it was hard to hear. Maybe they were talking about how lately I’ve

played all these mothers: I’m playing Lisa Kudrow’s mother on Web Therapy and I just did a movie playing Tina Fey’s mother. I also played McGee’s grandmother on NCIS. (The person asked) something about playing women of a certain age, so I answered it as Edith Ann first and then I said, “Don’t be surprised if this is the last project I do before I go to the motion-picture home.” I was just kidding around. You come from a generation of female comedians that had a very family-oriented style of comedy. What’s your take on this new wave of female comedians both in film and in stand-up who are just as vulgar and crass as men?  Guys have done it forever and so the girls just leveled the playing field. I like a much more cerebral kind of comedy. Well, sort of cerebral. But I still have

no problem with it. I’m glad to see those girls make successful comedy. Because in the old days ... I mean, Gilda (Radner) never got the chance to do the films that the boys did from SNL. I’m glad that these girls break that taboo, that obstacle that people have put up in front of them for years. I remember I used to do a ’50s teenager at a school dance and the first time I did it at the Ice House in Pasadena — this would be like ’71 or ’72, right after I got on Laugh-In — and (I said) “boner.” And the owner of the Ice House was beside himself. He said, “Don’t ever use that language on the stage again.” The guys did anything they wanted, but they did not want to see women talking about anything that was the least bit ... I don’t know ... human. (Laughs) I didn’t listen to what he said.  Q

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50  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  A&E | Issue 211 | October, 2012


When sex calls By Chris Azzopardi


director and rising star talk comedy’s queerness, pseudolesbianism and gay best friends “Does it feel gay to you?” Jamie Travis asks about his directorial debut, For a Good Time, Call, as if there was any question that a phone-sex caper with two females engaging in pseudo-lesbian three-ways — and sharing a gay bestie (played by Justin Long) — could be anything less than a 4 on the Kinsey Scale. “When my agent told me it was a phone-sex movie, I was skeptical,” says the Toronto filmmaker, who directed young breakthrough actresses Ari Graynor and Lauren Miller (the wife of Seth Rogen, who has a cameo) — as gal pals Katie and Lauren — saying dirty things and giving dildo demonstrations. “When I started reading the script, I couldn’t put it down. It made me really emotional; it felt like a representation of the girls that I know and love. The thing that drew me to this was not the phone sex at all; it was the notion of telling a sweet friendship story between women that recalled my favorite comedies of the ’80s.” After all, phone sex isn’t something he’s really worked hard at — except for that one time. “I remember when I was a teen-


ager and friends and I called this date line and I would pick up the phone — and this was just post-puberty — and basically be the transsexual on the call. But no; no one wants to hear my sexy voice. I’ll leave that to Ari and Lauren.” Known for her standout role in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist with a memorable I’m-drunk-and-want-your-turkey-sandwich scene, Graynor was sent the script eight months before the shoot, which lasted just 16 days. Turns out seeing Graynor so trashed she couldn’t stand up had a really big effect: Miller and Katie Anne Naylon wrote For a Good Time, Call with the actress in mind. “I responded much in the way I did when I read Nick & Norah,” says Graynor, who also stars alongside Barbra Streisand in the December comedy The Guilt Trip. “It’s just very rare nowadays that you see these female characters, especially in comedies, that are so alive and unique and complicated and funny. We all loved the movies of the ’80s with Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. All those women had character and gumption; they were not your typical beauties. There was a quality about them that was so magnetic that has gotten a little beige over time. I felt so honored that the girls thought of

me when they wrote something so smart.” A movie that recalls Bette and Lily? Yes, Jamie, For a Good Time, Call feels very gay.

ABOUT THE FILM’S GAYNESS Ari Graynor: This is certainly, like, the gayest movie ever made! (Laughs) What’s fun is that straight men seem to love it, too — and women and the gays, of course — so I feel like we’re winning. Jamie Travis: I’m glad I put my big gay stamp on it. I don’t know if I could make anything that doesn’t feel gay. I don’t wake up in the morning and say, “I’m gonna make a gay film today.” Even with my short films that feature questionably gay characters and sort of queer preoccupations, I never intend to make gay film but just to make film that I want to make. I think that female friendship is something that gay men in particular are really invested in, so when Jesse (Long’s character) yearns for his friends — his two best friends who hate each other — to be friends, it’s something that most people can relate to. I hope no one thinks it’s directed by a straight man. My emphasis here was to balance the sweetness and the raunch, and the adjective I hear most when people walk out of the film is “sweet.” It makes me feel like I’ve really done my job.


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

ON GAY BEST FRIENDS Graynor: I have a bicoastal contingency. I have my brother-in-life: I’m an only child, but we met 15 years ago and his name is Michael Medico and he’s actually in the movie; he’s the gentleman who comes to look at the apartment at the very beginning. I snuck him in there. I have a few in New York, as well. The thing that’s so great about a gay friend is when you’re a woman with a female friend — as beautiful and healthy and supportive as that relationship can be — sometimes there’s just the slightest undercurrent of competition, just innately, by both being women. Then with a straight male friend, there can always be sexual tension. But when you have your Jesse, your gay best friend, it takes both of those things out of the equation. Travis: If you look at the movie through Jesse’s eyes, he’s got a perfect situation going on: The two female archetypes of his life both seem to gravitate toward gay men. I really wanted to press upon Justin that we’re going with a really grounded approach with the character of Jesse; we want this to feel real. For me, I always worry putting a gay character in a movie. Are people going to think it’s stereotypical? People may think that, and it’s not. I see a lot of myself in it. As soon as he heard that, he told me he liked my voice and he wanted to meet with me and have dinner and record me on his iPhone reading lines from the script. I don’t want to say he was playing me at all, because that’s embarrassing and I don’t think that’s accurate, but he would definitely follow me on set and mimic my physical behavior. It really was a project for him from a physicality level. He definitely took from my mannerisms and my physicality, which brought so much to it. Justin is such a huge talent; I can only assume that he likes to take on a challenge, and he did it with such gusto. He was so game. We had originally offered him another role in the script, but he wanted to play the gay character. I never even knew Justin was as good as he was until I saw him on set. He really is the best improviser. He would invent jokes in the moment and he had such a smart approach in making him as memorable as he is in the movie. I just love him so much.

THE GIRLS’ PSUEDO-LESBIANISM Graynor: Certainly we’re playing with that balance — not about being lesbians,

but with this being a romantic comedy subverted to be about friendship and a lot of those dynamics: They don’t like each other, then they fall in love; they fight, then they get back together. With the three-way scene, we definitely had our tongues firmly planted in our cheeks, but it was never our intention to suggest a blur in their own sexuality with each other. It was more that female friends form very intimate relationships and female friends touch each other — not like that! — and they’re very physical with each other. I sleep in the same bed with my best friends.

RETURN OF THE FEMALE BUDDY COMEDY Travis: The female buddy comedy has sort of disappeared and, of course, when I was a teenager in the ’80s that’s all I wanted to watch. I’m sure these scripts have always been circulating in Hollywood, but they were just not being made because they seemed risky. R-rated female comedies made in the ’90s didn’t make much money. But Bridesmaids really opened the door, and I hope there’s a whole bunch more female-driven films.

INCLUDING A LESBIAN CALLER Travis: We’re a very open-minded bunch who made this film, so from the start, we always knew one of the callers was going to be a woman. Martha MacIsaac is the girl who almost had sex with Michael Cera in Superbad. Graynor: Part of this movie, and part of Katie, is about being open and nonjudgmental. We’re trying to make this a sex-positive film and take the shame out of sexuality that I think people have needlessly. So, bring on the female callers!

THE PLUSES OF HAVING A GAY DIRECTOR Graynor: Regardless of Jamie’s sexuality or because of it or whatever

— it’s innately who he is, so it’s hard to separate the two — he got this movie. He understood the characters, he understood their relationship, he knew how to elevate the already really incredible material and make it something even more special. I think there could’ve been that danger of somebody — potentially a straight male or just anyone else — over-sexualizing this; they could’ve thought it was a good idea to put me and Lauren in our bra and panties, having a pillow fight during the three-way scene, or there could’ve been someone who over-sentimentalized it and made it saccharine. He just really understood the tone. He loves women and has adoration for women, and that really comes across in this.

GOING LOW FOR DOUGH Travis: I was 17 years old and living in Vancouver, where I grew up, and I worked a day as a mascot at the Capilano Suspension Bridge in this disgustingly smelly, giant beaver costume. I would say dressing up as a beaver to entertain children was the worst way to make money.  Q For a Good Time, Call is currently being screened at Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway.

Also Wills, Trusts & Estate Planning


Dill-infused Vodka By Ed Sikov

It began

innocently enough. But like so many of life’s little catastrophes, my attempt to serve something a bit unusual took a sudden and unexpected dive, and the whole evening went down in flames. Dan and I had invited our friends Bill and Treighton out to the beach house late in the season, a beautiful time on Fire Island when the hoards of bubble-headed bubblebutts had gone back to the city and the weather was still warm enough to sit on the deck in the late afternoon. Some leaves had turned, others hadn’t, and the dappled effect of reds and oranges against green was simply but extraordinarily lovely. None of the housemates were there; it was just the four of us. A nice hunk of pork was slowly cooking and smoking in the grill. Dan had brought an array of scrumptious cheeses from a shop near his office, and I was just setting them out on a plate when Treighton appeared in the kitchen and asked if there was anything he could do to help. As you may have guessed, Treighton is a Southern boy; he comes from a genteel Nashville family in which most people’s first names are actually the last names of generations long gone. Treighton was named after his great, great grandmother’s

food& drink family. His sister, Mackenzie, carried on their mother’s maiden name. In any case, I was happy to take Treighton up on his offer of assistance, so I asked him to pour four glasses of the dill-infused vodka I’d made earlier in the week. “What did you say the f-flavor was?” he asked with a nervous stutter and a distinct edge of panic. “Dill,” I said, at which point Treighton rushed out of the room in tears. I could hear the hard sound of footsteps on the stairs and the surprisingly soft closing of his bedroom door. Then it hit me. “Dill!” I muttered. “Ed, you foo-el, you imbecile!” (I tend to turn into Cruella de Vil when berating myself.) I had forgotten all about the “dill problem.” Many years ago, Bill and I had had a discussion of Treighton’s inability to tolerate the words “scout,” “finch” and, worst of all, “dill.” Recognize ’em? The literate reader will recall that these are names drawn from Harper Lee’s marvelous novel To Kill a Mockingbird and Robert Mulligan’s film adaptation of the same name. Amazingly (to me, anyway), Treighton had been a child actor and had auditioned for the role of Dill. Take one look at Treighton and you can still see exactly the type of boy Mulligan had in mind for Dill. The decision came down to Treighton and some other kid; the other kid got the role. Treighton

Not Your Mother’s Thrift Store (But Bring Her Along)



801 819 7884 | Issue 211 | October, 2012


has been bitterly mad about it ever since — mad in the sense of insane, loony, nuts. After an hour of delicately tiptoeing around the first floor murmuring praise of Mulligan’s film — a monologue by me, of course — Bill coaxed him downstairs for dinner with a glowing paean to the smoked pork delivered from outside their bedroom door. But the evening was still essentially ruined. The shhhhh!-infused vodka, however, was delicious. Here’s how to make it:

Dill-Infused Vodka One-fifth of Absolut premium vodka 1 handful of dill, with or without seeds, washed and dried thoroughly Open the Absolut, stuff in the dill, and close the bottle. After two or three days, you’ve got dill-infused vodka. Try to extract the dill from the bottle, or pour the infusion into a fresh, clean bottle, otherwise the dill flavor will become overpowering.  Q

save the date

October 6

SLMC: Brothers, Sing On! October 7

Natl Coming Out Day Brunch


september 22

November 12

Pink Dot Utah

TransAction Gender Conference

September 27

December 1

EU Allies Dinner September 28–29

Moab Pride Festival October 5–7

Gay Days Anaheim

World AIDS Day December 7–9

Salt Lake Men’s Choir Christmas Concert January 17–27

Sundance Film Festival


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

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54  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  FOOD & DRINK | Issue 211 | October, 2012



October, 2012 | Issue 211 |




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nightlife | Issue 211 | October, 2012

Metro Bar’s resident DJ showcases eclectic taste, style By Seth Bracken


frequently recognized as the irresistibly sexy man in the disc jockey booth at Metro Bar on Saturday nights, DJ Justin Hollister is a rising star in Utah’s club scene. We caught up with him to chat about his musical inspirations, what he finds sexy in a man and which celebrities he’d love to bump uglies with. How did you get started in the DJ scene?  I started my music interest when I was 16 years old. I got my first DJ gig working for Fat Cats in Salt Lake City. I worked there for three years doing an event called Thunder Alley. I met local DJ Jeff Hacker, he’s also known as DJ/Dc. He let me DJ on the patio of the old Trapp Door. That’s where it all started. Who are your musical inspirations?  I love Tiesto and Paul Oakenfold — it’s what I grew up listening to. My favorite DJs and producers are DJ Grind, DJ Ryan Kenny, Joe Gauthreaux, Wayne G, Seth Cooper, DJ Chris B, Wideboys, Cahill, 7th heaven, Freemason, DJs from Mars, Cosmic Dawn, Almighty, Liam Keegan, Morgan Page, Avicii, Wawa and Toy Armada. How would you describe your own style?  My style is very mixed. I love electro, mash-ups, house, circuit, progressive, top 40 and hip hop. Finding that perfect blend of all those styles keeps people on the dance floor. You have to keep it fresh. Mix it up or people will get bored. The one genre I will not play is dub step. It’s death to my ears. What do you find sexy in a man?  Looks are a big thing. Anyone who says it’s not about looks is lying. Personality is also a big thing, but mostly someone who understands my lifestyle. Working in the bar/ club industry is hard — very hard! So many temptations. The right guy understands it’s my job to entertain more than 300 people every week who get drunk and want to touch, kiss and grind on you, dance with you and give more attention to you than anyone else. He can’t get jealous. This is what I do for a living. This is my life and my

passion and I want him to enjoy it with me. Music is the key to my heart. If he can share that with me then we are a perfect match. If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be and why?  Could it be a threesome? Being bisexual makes it hard. I would have to choose Rihanna and Channing Tatum. Rihanna is a freak! I can only imagine what sex would be like. S&M, chains and whips excite her. That’s right up my alley. I’ve touched myself more than once thinking of Channing Tatum. I’m pretty sure that would be the hottest threesome ever! Where can we catch you next?  I’m currently the resident DJ for Fusion Saturdays at Metro Bar. You can find me on Facebook and stay up to date with all my latest events. I’m currently booking myself in Portland, San Francisco, Las Vegas and working on a few other locations. You can check out my new podcast at All my old sets are at justinhollister.podomatic.

com. My podcasts are free. I couldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for you and the help of some of my closest friends. I love you all. See you on the dance floor! Britney Spears — Criminal Black Eyed Peas — Rock That Body Nichole Scherzinger — Wet Flo Rida — Wild One Hyper Crush — Kick Us Out Britney Spears — Inside Out Fukkk Off — Seduction Justice Vs. MGMT — We Are Your Kids Friends Katy Perry — Teenage Dream Lady Gaga — Poker Face Eiffel 65 — Blue Ace Of Base — Cruel Summer Pitbull — Hey Baby Rihanna — Who’s That Chick Mike Poisner — Cheated Chris Willis — Too Much Love Fedde Le Grand — So Much Love Beyonce — Countdown Pink Floyd — Another Brick In The Wall Adele — Someone Like You Katy Perry — Last Friday Night Cee Lo Green — Fuck You


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

Qgiggles KISSING ALLOWED Join us


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60  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  SCENE | Issue 211 | October, 2012


Undie Run sets a record ... again ... for being the hottest event in Salt Lake

(oh, and that Guinness World Records thing, too.)


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |



62  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  COMICS | Issue 211 | October, 2012

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name the Irish rock band who has a literary name

pre stitch ___ ______

cryptogram Jane’s World

A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: p = h

Theme: A quote by straight ally Baltimore Raven Brendon Ayanbadejo during a CNN interview about marriage equality.

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October, 2012 | Issue 211 |



His Words Live On

40 Subjects of James IV 41 “Move your butt!” 42 Makes a wet blanket Across 44 Cups and such 45 More of the quote  1 Gay ___ Sutra 51 More of the quote  5 Prickteasers 10 Alpert of Mame fame 53 Saikaku’s Gay Tales of the ___ 14 Aladdin or 54 End of the quote Scheherazade 57 Picks out, with “for” 15 In-your-face 59 Traffic cop’s tool 16 Words said near 60 Men-only affair crystal balls 61 Circus sideshow 17 Cans, in the UK oddity 18 Word to someone 62 Insurance worker stroking your tummy 63 Wang in fashion 19 Mane location 20 Start of a Gore Vidal 64 I Shot ___ Warhol 65 Dry runs quote 66 Treated as a sexual 23 Fill with bullets object 24 Sauna bath sites 25 Hard woody nut Down 27 Sal Mineo’s role  1 Cabaret’s Kit-___ in Rebel Without a Klub Cause  2 Opera queen’s delight 30 More of the quote  3 Author Thomas 34 Prefix with Stein?  4 When repeated, a 35 Singer Freddie Faulkner title 36 Disencumber  5 They shoot off hot stuff 38 Shankar of sitar


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 6 Circumvent  7 Output from small pussies  8 Part of the media  9 G-string wearers 10 Doesn’t quite tell 11 Actor Morales 12 Muscle Mary stat 13 Spelling contest 21 “Air Music” composer Ned 22 Full of four-letter words 25 Ang Lee, for one 26 Screwed up 28 Gives a pink slip to 29 Hunter that comes out at night 31 Atomic energy org. 32 The Name of the Rose writer 33 On the other hand 34 Hesitation sounds 37 Orientation determiner, some say 39 WWII battle site, for short 41 Half of a ballroom dance

43 Sinking ship’s call 44 X at a frat party 46 Purity unit 47 It may be spitting 48 Mapplethorpe models, often

49 Randolph Scott’s companion Cary 50 Petite pies 51 Eastern discipline 52 What you do at the other end

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October, 2012  |  Issue 211

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66  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  SEX | Issue 211 | October, 2012

the dating diet

Walking with a ghost By Anthony Paull


a time in every adult man’s life when he realizes he’s no longer a kid. For me, it occurred while hanging out at a theme park without a kid of my own, right when I realized I looked like a pedophile. I know. I shouldn’t say that. But that’s what crossed my mind when my friend Pete asked me to take his pic while mounting a pink bunny on the merry-go-round at Dollywood. I kept asking myself, is this something that needs to be frozen in time? Nevertheless, I snapped the photo, blaming my ill discretion on lack of sleep, food and the inability to shit. The night before, two friends and I set across the Southeast and somehow landed in the middle of Dolly Parton’s tits or the Smoky Mountains or whatever you want to call it where the air is too thin to think. Luckily, we promised ourselves not to think anyway. The one rule of the trip was to be totally random, not having a clue where we’d end up. I suppose that’s how we arrived in Dolly Parton’s fancy tour trailer, marveling over her journal and wig collection after thirteen hours of driving. The next day, after blacking out in a flea hotel, I wake to wonder what will happen next.

“I’ve always wanted to see Charleston,” my chipper friend Hailey says. “I hear it’s haunted. They have ghost tours.” A paranormal fanatic, that’s all Pete needs to hear and we’re in a car, winding down a mountain, headed to South Carolina. Later that night, Pete holds the lantern as the tour guide tells us the legend of the Boo Hag: a mythical creature that steals one’s breath when sleeping. Single, Pete likes the idea of someone riding him in the night, but he has sights on something more human. Later,

after listening intently to the story of a ghost dog named Poogan that haunts a local restaurant, Pete tells me he needs someone to bone. At least I pretend that’s what he says. Technically, Hailey and I decide that for him. To keep the night random, we figure it would be fun to set him up. En route to the gay bar, streetlights cast an eerie green glow on cobblestone streets, illuminating the fact that this is the first bad idea of the trip. You see, it takes Hailey seven drinks before she’s no longer lucid during her reign as matchmaker. “My brother think you’re hot,” she slurs, finding any cute guy who will listen. When Pete catches on, he disappears into the crowd. “Where is your brother?” one shrewd fellow asks. “Uh, I don’t know. He was here a minute ago,” Hailey says. She eyeballs me to help, but I’m too drunk to be a good wingman. I shrug. “I don’t know where he went.” She grits her teeth, and the guy turns to me with a wink. “You know, her ‘bro’ sounds pretty desperate. Maybe he ought to tell me I’m hot himself.” He lingers for a response. “So are you going to tell me?” “Tell you what? I’m not her brother. And I don’t think you’re hot.” Hailey laughs, pushing me on the dance floor. “He’s lying! He IS my brother, but I was talking about my other brother. My other brother thinks you’re hot.” “Ok. Now this is getting weird,” the guy says, returning to his friends. Snubbed, Hailey skips off, and I drop my beer on the dance floor, where it smashes into a million pieces. Shooed by a drag queen, I later find Pete in a dark corner of the club. He stands by a short guy who seems equally uncomfortable. “Do I spy a romance in bloom?” I dizzily ask. Pete turns red, brimming with anger. “No. This is Hailey’s friend.” The short guy squirms, avoiding eye contact. So I get in the middle of the two, pulling them in with my arms. We sway to the music, but the short guy won’t answer any of my questions. Agitated, he finally coughs out he’s from Miami. “Wow, Pete’s from Florida too! You have

so much in common,” I state. “I think you should have sex.” With that, Pete bails to the bathroom, where he updates his Facebook status. Do not go to the club with your coupled friends! They will try to set you up. I’ve never been so mortified in my life! I relay the message to Hailey, who’s located the owner of the restaurant with the ghost dog. She thinks he’ll be a great match for Pete. Unfortunately, Pete doesn’t agree, racing over to tell us he’s leaving. “But he owns the restaurant with Poogan the ghost dog!” Hailey declares. “He wants to take us to lunch tomorrow. Isn’t that nice? You should talk to him.” Enraged, Pete throws up his hands. “Why?” “Because he has a ghost dog.”

Pete gets right in the guy’s face. “Big deal. So you own a ghost dog? You own a freaking ghost dog?” “I … own … a restaurant where … the dog used to live,” the guy calmly replies. “Whatever!” Pete says, dashing outside. Returning to the hotel, he grabs some beer and heads downstairs, leaving Hailey and I alone. “Uh, do you think we made a mistake in trying to set him up?” she asks. “Maybe. But we were just trying to be good friends.” Soon, we both close our eyes, falling asleep. Two hours later, I wake and Pete is still gone. The next morning I learn he’d fallen asleep watching TV in the lobby. In his absence I felt the presence of a ghost after all. Hailey felt it too, and we agreed when it comes to the supernatural world of dating, Pete would need to float on his own.  Q


October, 2012 | Issue 211 |



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68  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  HOROSCOPE | Issue 211 | October, 2012

q scopes

CANCER June 21–July 22 The need to assert yourself can run you afoul of authority. It may be more strategic in the long run to let a boss steal credit for your innovations. Deserved credit will come your way in time.

Listen to your friends, Gemini! By Jack Fertig

Venus is squaring Mars, boosting creative and sexual tensions. Impulse and ego are very strong here, not true love. Commitments to a higher cause can prove dramatic. Promises of love will just explode.

9 7 1 8 5 4 6 2 3

5 2 6 3 7 9 8 4 1

8 5 9 7 4 1 2 3 6

3 4 8 1 2 6 5 7 9

6 1 2 5 8 3 4 9 7

7 3 4 6 9 2 1 5 8

1 4 3 5 2 7 8 9 6

2 9 8 6 3 1 5 7 4

5 7 6 4 8 9 3 2 1

7 9 3 4 5 8 6 2 1 3 5 4 9 8 7 3 2 5 4 6 1

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3 5 9 8 4 7 6 1 2

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9 8 7 5 3 2 1 4 6

4 1 8 6 3 2 5 9 7 6 5 4 8 7 1 3 9 2

7 9 4 2 6 3 1 8 5 5 4 9 7 8 6 2 1 3

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Cryptogram: I’m really excited that my teammates and my team, and the city is really gathering behind me in the cause to treat people fairly, all in the name of love.

8 6 2 3 1 9 4 5 7 1 9 8 6 3 2 1 9 4 7 5 8

Anagram: the script

4 1 5 6 2 7 8 3 9 7 6 2 1 4 5 7 8 6 9 2 3

You’re a beautiful blonde working at Sugar House Coffee. I was probably staring at you when I came in — but only from admiration. You’re probably straight (bi here) but I had to say something. I’m small with pink hair and glasses. You are sweet and lovely.

puzzle solutions

SCORPIO October 23–November 21 Your efforts to get ahead will be noticed, but that will also highlight your faults and mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. 2 9 3 4 6 8 7 1 5 9 4 3 2 6 8 9 3 5 7 1 4

Emma Stone look-alike at Sugar House Coffee — w4w (30)

GEMINI May 21–June 20 A winning streak in love and games won’t last long, but enjoy it while it does. Be careful, though. Too much fun could upset your partner, or botch efforts to start something new. Listen to your friends, but don’t trust all of them.

1 6 5 2 3 7 9 8 4 2 1 6 7 5 3 8 4 1 2 9 6

So, on Tuesday, Sept. 11, I was walking out when you were walking in. I was talking with a friend — she is short with dark hair. I saw you (very attractive guy) and you saw me. We made eye contact and then you looked away. You then looked back at me and saw that I was still looking at you. You’re so hot! I gave you a little smile. I would love to meet you. I would have stopped to talk, but I had to go with my friend to an appointment. If you think this is you, write me and tell me what building it was and about what time it was. I know it a long shot, but I’ll give it a try.

4 8 7 9 1 5 3 6 2 8 7 5 4 1 9 7 2 6 5 3 8

Cute guy on campus – m4m (29)

LIBRA September 23– October 22 October 22): Popularity is a double-edged sword. Invitations from your friends can cause friction with your family and mate. If your partner suggests that some of your pals are taking advantage of you, he or she is probably right.

5 7 1 4 8 3 6 2 9

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TAURUS April 20–May 20 Cleaning house or digging up family secrets can expose a lot more than you bargained for. Someone, probably your partner, will not be pleased. Jealousy is useless and destructive. Keeping your home together may require a new open-mindedness.

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VIRGO August 23–Sep. 22 You could be in for a raise. Make very nice with people who decide that, but more importantly, make sure your true value is clear to see. Promotions bring bigger challenges. Don’t be intimidated or over-eager. Size up the situation carefully before acting.

6 4 7 2 1 8 9 5 3


ARIES March 20–April 19 “All’s fair in love and war,” but there are consequences that go beyond victory. Beware of collateral damage to your reputation and other regrets. Are you really fighting for something worthwhile? Or just needing to assert yourself? Think ahead!

3 8 2 6 5 9 1 4 7


LEO July 23–August 22 You may indeed have all the answers, but don’t be too eager with them. Let people figure it out for themselves and you might even learn something in the process. Deal with small health problems before they become large ones!

Your best strategy is to ask your boss or another expert for help where you need improvement. SAGITTARIUS November 22– December 20 If you’re looking for a lover, look among your friends. If you have one, get your baby to socialize more with your pals. In love and friendship, think about who you want to be with 12 years from now. CAPRICORN December 21– January 19 Reality is about to lose those clean definitions you love so dearly. You can gain empathy and foresight, but like any new skill those can be challenging at first. Yes, you are going a little crazy, but that can be a brilliant adventure. AQUARIUS January 20–February 18 Secrets will be revealed! Keep your mouth shut about others and especially at work! Focus on digging up your own with a counselor or a trusted confidante, and you could free yourself from old fears and anxieties. PISCES Feb 19–Mar 19 You have lots of opportunities to indulge fleeting passions, but don’t mistake them for love. Life is about to get a bit harder and more serious. You’ll need to define and focus your goals, but that will take time. Don’t make snap decisions now. Jack Fertig is

October, 2012 | Issue 211 |

Come get Hunky Every Sunday night at The Tav SUNDAYS KARAOKE









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70  |  Q SALT LAKE MAGAZINE  |  final word | Issue 211 | October, 2012

the perils of petunia pap smear

A tale of water music By Petunia Pap Smear

The road

to Elko is fraught with danger and

the seal and draining the dragon. I sped up even more, desperately wishing I had a excitement. clothespin with me. I turned on the cruise When I’m not playing with my Bingo control and crossed my legs to prevent Balls at Third Friday Bingo, I drive a demy paying the water bill. As I sped past livery truck for a living. Whenever I drive, the concrete tree sculpture that is located I have a personal checklist: Opera-length, smack in the middle of the salt flats, in rhinestone-studded driving gloves; a pink desperation, I thought about stopping to satin scarf to keep the beehive hair in water the tree, but I realized that my salvaplace; a small 24-pound emergency makeup tion in the form of the urination station kit; and, a large mug of Diet Mountain was only 10 miles farther. My eyes began Dew to sip along the way to keep my to cross. I turned off the MP3 player, so as lipstick moist. to concentrate more fully on controlling On one recent trip to Nevada, just after the siphon python. I had been listening to I passed the exit to Knolls, the point of no the sound track to Urinetown, which was return before entering the vast desolation inspirational in absolutely the wrong way. that is the Bonneville Salt Flats, my perTo much relief, I reached the rest-area sonal check system gave me an early warnexit and careened into the closest parking that I needed to “drain my radiator” ing space available, startling those nearby. soon. I calculated that the next rest area The place was unusually crowded as there was 30 miles ahead and figured it wouldn’t was a convoy of national guardsmen also be a problem. For some reason, this parmaking a pit stop. I have a great fondness ticular nature call became more forceful for a man in uniform. I was in such distress than usual. With nary a tree or bush in though, I could not even slow down to apsight, I looked to see if I could just pull preciate the sheer beauty of the neighbors. off the highway and flush my buffers, but My bladder must have sensed imminent there was way too much traffic to ensure relief coming because as I stepped out of any modicum of privacy while changing the truck, I felt a teeny tiny leak in the the water on the goldfish. lizard and I was forced to cross my legs to I increased my speed by a couple of hold it in. As I posed awkwardly beside my miles per hour. After five more mile truck, I pretended to slowly lock the door markers had passed, the urge to purge had and adjust the side view mirror, waiting for increased in intensity to the point that I a pause in the pressure so I could make it was forced to start wiggling and squirming that last 20 yards to the restroom. around in my seat to keep from breaking Gratefully, I noticed the door to the men’s room was propped open, one less obstacle to make my bladder gladder. With sweat now dripping into my eyes, almost causing blindness, I made the final desperQuinn C. Jaxon has some ate dash to point Percy at the porjunk in the trunk and his celain and began to sprinkle my Andrew Christian briefs do tinkle. Niagara Falls gushed forth, it all kinds of justice. and I felt great sweeping waves of relief as the pressure began to lessen. While the rest of my body began to relax, I was surprised when out of nowhere, my ass “Let Slip the Dog of War” and a loud clap of anal thunder echoed

trunk of the month

through the empty restroom. I was so relieved about not wetting my pants that I was willing to risk a few booty burps. After all, there is no better place to float an air biscuit than in an empty restroom. Quite happy that I had made it, I began to hum along with the sounds of the steady stream raining on the bowl and the continuing music of barking spiders coming from my rear. It was a veritable Buttocks Symphony. I was shocked into disbelief when suddenly I heard a very husky voice say, “Hey buddy, you’re playing to a full house.” Mortified that I was no longer alone, I glanced behind me and there were four stunningly handsome guardsmen in tight fitting uniforms lining the back wall waiting for their turn to tap a kidney. I had been taught in finishing school that a real lady never conducts an odor opera in public, so I was greatly distressed. Natural processes had gone beyond the point of no return, and all chance at maintaining any dignity was moot. I just looked down, let one last firing of the auxiliary rockets, finished draining the dragon quickly, shook hands with the president, zipped up and determinedly did not make eye contact with any of the studs as I almost ran out of the room. As quickly as possible, I dashed to my truck and sped out of the parking lot before my audience emerged to give me an ovation. Like always, these events leave us with several eternal questions: 1. Should I include a clothespin with my makeup kit? 2. Are most speeders just trying to prevent peeing their pants? 3. Do they sell glitter catheters with rhinestone-studded collection bags? 4. Are there any musical compositions written for the bum? 5. Would an encore performance be appropriate after receiving a standing ovation? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of: The Perils of Petunia Pap Smear.  Q

QSaltLake October 2012  
QSaltLake October 2012  

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