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Utah’s News & Entertainment Magazine for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community | FREE

salt lake Issue 165 October 14, 2010

Literary Issue

Plus an interview with the directors of ‘Howl’ LDS Apostle’s Speech SL School Board Walmart Stores Carry Draws Firestorm Mulls Gay Protections Anti-Gay Kids’ Book

Matthew Shepard’s Mom Writes Book















Q staff

publisher/editor Michael Aaron

busine aiance

The Q Business Alliance is starting up next month and all gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally business owners are invited to join and network with us. Corporations, small businesses, sole proprietors and independent agents are welcome to join, regardless of sexual orientation.





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569 NORTH 300 WEST

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assistant editor JoSelle Vanderhooft arts & entertainment editor Tony Hobday graphic designer Christian Allred contributors Chris Azzopardi, Lynn

Beltran, Turner Bitton, Dave Brousseau, Brad Di Iorio, Chef Drew Ellswroth, Greg Fox, H. Rachelle Graham, Bob Henline, Tony Hobday, Christopher Katis, Keith Orr, Petunia Pap-Smear, Anthony Paull, Steven Petrow, Hunter Richardson, Ruby Ridge, Ryan Shattuck, A.E. Storm, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben Williams, Troy Williams, D’Anne Witkowski, Rex Wockner contributing photographers Ted Berger, Eric Ethington, Honey Rachelle Graham, Chris Lemon, Brent Marrott, Carlos Navales, Scott Perry, Deb Rosenberg, Chuck Wilson sales manager Brad Di Iorio office manager Tony Hobday

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and Nevada. Free copies are limited to one per person. For additional copies, contact us at 801-649-6663. It is a crime to destroy or dispose of current issues or otherwise interfere with the distribution of this newsmagazine. Publication of the name or



Monthly Business Breakfasts

Each third Friday of the month, a themed breakfast will be held at various restaurants in the Greater Wasatch Front with guest speakers and the ability to introduce your business and hand out company literature to other owners and professionals


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Meet and mingle with other entrepreneurs and professionals, as well as QSaltLake readers, at different businesses in the valley

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J O I N I N G : Online Exposure through QSaltLake readers turn to our web site for help finding services in the community. They can be referred to your web site in a click of a button.

Member Newsletter Promote your business, introduce new products and announce upcoming events to other Alliance members

Swag Bags Place marketing materials or samples in highly-sought “swag� bags or at tables at large community events through the year More We will be announcing more opportunities for members as the Alliance grows

tion in articles or advertising in QSaltLake is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons. Printed in the U.S.A. QSALTLAKE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/QSALTLAKE MYSPACE.COM/QSALTLAKE


TREVOR SOUTHEY R E C O n C I L I AT I O n OpEnS 21 OCTObER 2010 Artist Reception, Walk Through, and performance by Salt Lake Men’s Choir 4:30-6:30 pm panel Discussion with Artists neil Hadlock, Dennis Smith, Gary E. Smith, and Trevor Southey 6:30-8:00 pm Experience a retrospective of the life and work of former Utah-based artist, Trevor Southey. Featuring over 60 works gathered from local and national collections, the exhibition chronicles four prominent passages of Southey’s life: his childhood in Rhodesia and art education in England; his life as a practicing member of the LDS Church and married man; Southey’s decision to acknowledge his homosexuality; and the reconciliation of his life decisions as expressed in his evolving artistic approach to the human form.

MARCIA & JOHN PRICE MUSEUM BUILDING 410 Campus Center Drive Salt Lake City, UT 84112-0350 801. 581.5163 •

Exhibition generously sponsored by: B.W. Bastian Foundation Jim Dabakis and Stephen Justesen Tom and Mary McCarthey

Artist reception is supported in part by: The University of Utah Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Resource Center


OCTOBER 16, 18, 20, 22 | 7:30 PM & 24 | 2 PM CAPITOL THEATRE Romance and tragedy unfold in Bohemian Paris as Utah Opera presents one of the most popular operas of all time. Do not miss the most beautiful melodies Puccini has ever composed.



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Equality California Calls for Rejection of Baja Marriage Amendment

Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors has joined calls for municipal councils in Mexico’s Baja California state to reject a state constitutional amendment that seemingly bans recognition of same-sex marriages. Meanwhile, local LGBT activists are organizing marches on Oct. 16 in the U.S. border city of Mexicali, the Baja state capital, and on Oct. 24 in the border city of Tecate. “It is extremely disappointing that there is an effort to amend the state constitution to not allow or recognize same-sex marriages in Baja California,” Kors said. “Mexico’s Supreme Court has upheld marriage for samesex couples and further required that legal same-sex marriages from Mexico City be recognized throughout the nation. We call on the municipal councils in Ensenada, Mexicali, Rosarito Beach, Tecate and Tijuana to reject this discriminatory effort by voting against ratification of the constitutional amendment -- and to go on the record in support of marriage equality for same-sex couples.” The unicameral state legislature, the Chamber of Deputies, voted 18-1 on Sept. 29 to amend the state constitution to seemingly prohibit recognition of same-sex marriages, despite the fact that the federal Supreme Court ruled this year that all 31 Mexican states must recognize gay marriages from Mexico City, where they are allowed. The vote came on the final day that the right-leaning National Action Party (PAN) had control of the legislature. On Oct. 1, the left-leaning Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) took control of a majority of the chamber’s seats, following elections that had been held in July. The PAN move appeared to some observers to be an attempt by the conservative party to taunt the federal Supreme Court, although some amendment backers claimed they only hoped to prevent gay marriages from taking place in Baja. The oddly worded amendment, however, does not include any stated exception for Mexico City marriages. It reads: “The State recognizes and protects the institution of marriage as a right of society oriented to guarantee and safeguard the perpetuation of the species and mutual support between spouses, satisfying this only, through the union of one man with one woman.” (“El Estado reconoce y protege la institución del matrimonio como un derecho de la sociedad orientado a garantizar y salvaguardar la perpetuación de la especie y ayuda mutua entre los cónyuges, satisfaciéndose este solamente, mediante la unión de un hombre con una mujer.”) The amendment is not yet a done deal. It requires ratification by the municipal coun-

cils of at least three of Baja California’s five political subdivisions — Ensenada, Mexicali, Rosarito Beach, Tecate and Tijuana. Those councils will remain under PAN control until Dec. 1, when new councilors from the PRI party will take office and hold a majority of council seats in the state’s political subdivisions. If a municipal council fails to report the result of its vote by approximately the end of October, the council will be counted as having approved the amendment. Local activists do not feel optimistic that a majority of the currently PAN-controlled councils will reject the amendment. “We are looking at legal paths to pursue this through the state human-rights ombudsman, to demand that he appeal the unconstitutionality of this amendment to the Supreme Court of Justice of the nation,” said Armando Rodríguez, coordinator of the Mexicali Pride Committee. Activist Gerardo Mápula from the Tijuana GLBT Cultural Community (COCUT) added: “We are getting the word out given that the media here are keeping this very under the radar and not giving it necessary publicity. We are working hard to spread the information, utilizing social networks and bars and cafes. We are lobbying ... the councils and (state) legislators and (municipal) councilors to express our point of view and make them understand that this law is homophobic, and

also (are) having the support of the (state) ombudsman of human rights.” The marches in Mexicali and Tecate will be combo pride and protest marches. Mexicali’s march is Saturday, Oct. 16, at 3 p.m., starting at Avenida Colón and Calzada Justo Sierra. Mexicali sits on the California border 120 miles east of San Diego. Tecate’s march is Sunday, Oct. 24, at 10 a.m. at Parque Central. Tecate sits on the California border 40 miles southeast of San Diego. The only vote cast against the amendment in the Chamber of Deputies came from PRD (Partido de la Revolución Democrática) Deputy Ana María Fuentes. “It is our conviction that the basis of human happiness is freedom and the recognition of rights, that any restriction imposed by one or various churches or some particular morality that signifies restriction of rights or persecution of people in the free exercise of their sexual preferences is profoundly wrong and has more to do with the past and nothing to do with the future,” she said. “We oppose that the more conservative groups ... want to convert our state into some sort of medieval island with the double morality that comes with that.” The legislative chamber was filled with equal numbers of LGBT people and their opponents the day of the vote. Videos of the vote and the chaotic aftermath can be seen at and bcgaymat.

Equality NC sends Froot Loops to state rep

age of gay people and LGBT issues is much less common today than it was in 1990. There is some debate within NLGJA as to whether the group might be in a position to declare its mission accomplished. Other members, however, feel the group should reformulate its mission to respond to the many new issues that vex LGBT journalists and publications in today’s wired world.

Between Oct. 6 and 11, each donor to Equality North Carolina had a personal message and a box of Kellogg’s Froot Loops delivered to Republican state Rep. Larry Brown. The stunt was a response to Brown’s having hit “reply to all” on an e-mail from House Minority Leader Paul Stam and writing: “I hope all the queers are thrilled to see him (House Speaker Joe Hackney receiving an award from Equality NC). I am sure there will be a couple legislative fruitloops there in the audience.” “If it’s fruitloops Rep. Brown wants, then that’s what we’ll give him!” Equality NC said.

NLGJA Faces Tough Times Membership in the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association has dropped from a high of 1,300 in 2006 to 693 today, reports Press Pass Q, the newsletter for LGBT media. The group’s recent national convention drew 277 attendees, down from a high of 700 in 2004. NLGJA formed 20 years ago to fight for such things as domestic-partnership benefits in mainstream media and a safe environment to come out in mainstream-media newsrooms — and to respond from within newsrooms to skewed coverage of gay people and LGBT issues. The first two goals have, for the most part, been achieved, and biased or bizarre cover-

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Indiana Motor Vehicles Head Arrested in Toilet, Resigns The head of the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles, Andrew J. Miller, was arrested Oct. 6 on a charge of public indecency for allegedly masturbating in front of an undercover cop in a cruisy public toilet in Indianapolis. He resigned following the incident.

Alyson Books Stops Publishing Books Venerable gay publishing company Alyson Books, owned by Advocate parent company Here Media, has stopped publishing books and will rework itself into an e-book publisher, said Publishers Weekly. Authors under contract can have their rights back or move to the online venture. In August, Village Voice columnist Michael Musto had complained that the company was “holding my new book hostage.”

Quips & Quotes ❝

Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Remember, God is our Heavenly Father.” —Revised remarks about homosexuality given by LDS Apostle Boyd K. Packer during the church’s SemiAnnual General Conference, Oct. 3 (“temptations” has replaced “tendencies” on the church’s website)

President Packer has simply clarified his intent.” —LDS spokesman Scott Trotter when asked about the alterations to Packer’s sermon

No. These are not the actions of the compassionate and if we are to judge them by their works instead of their words, we can only form the conclusion that this rapid-detraction and smoke screen is purely the work of men trying to hide from a national outcry against bigotry.” —Local activist Eric Ethington, blogging at PRIDE in Utah in response to an LDS Church statement disavowing responsibility for the recent spate of suicides of queer youth and decrying violence against queer people

If I’m not going to allow [my children] to lie about bouncing a ball in my living room , how in the world would I justify telling them to lie to themselves and others about their sexual orientation? The hypocrisy of encouraging our youth to lie and cover up their true sexual orientation while admonishing them to “be honest in their dealings with their fellow man” in their temple interviews has always been impossible for me to rationalize.” —Straight LDS mother Jaquelyn Orton in a letter to PRIDE in Utah



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Packer Conference Speech Sparks a Firestorm by Michael Aaron

In a speech delivered at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Semiannual General Conference on Oct. 3, the second-highest leader in the church ignited a firestorm of protest from the gay and lesbian community and its allies. In his speech, he called homosexuality immoral, against God’s laws and nature, impure, unnatural and akin to an addiction. He also claimed that a gay or lesbian person could “conquer” their sexuality. He also alluded to gay civil unions as “Satan’s substitute” for marriage. “This general conference was convened at a time when there is such confusion and such danger that our young people hardly know which way they can walk,” Packer, president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the church, started his speech. “Having been warned through the revelations that it would be this way, the prophets and apostles have always been shown what to do.” “There are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God’s laws and nature,” he said. “A law against nature would be impossible to enforce. For instance, what good would a vote against the law of gravity do? “We teach a standard of moral conduct that will protect us from Satan’s many substitutes or counterfeits for marriage. We must understand that any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong. From the Book of Mormon we learn that ‘wickedness never was happiness.’ ... [Satan] seeks to degrade the righteous use of the life-giving powers by tempting you into immoral relationships. “Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember he is our father.” That last sentence, and several others, in Packer’s speech were changed in the official transcript, available at Church officials said the alterations were commonplace and not motivated by the church’s desire to soften the speech. “President Packer has simply clarified his intent,” church spokesman Scott Trotter said in a statement. Gay and lesbian leaders were quick to denounce Packer’s statements, especially in light of several teenage suicides headlining the news in the past several weeks. “Words have consequences, particularly when they come from a faith leader. This is

exactly the kind of statement that can lead some kids to bully and others to commit suicide,” said Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, in a statement issued early the following morning. “When a faith leader tells gay people that they are a mistake because God would never have made them that way and they don’t deserve love, it sends a very powerful message that violence and/or discrimination against LGBT people is acceptable. It also emotionally devastates those who are LGBT or may be struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity. His words were not only inaccurate, they were also dangerous.” “Saving lives is part of our charter at the Utah Pride Center,” said Utah Pride Center Executive Director Valerie Larabee. “We find these recent events particularly alarming, and we are ramping up our efforts to overcome the messages that leads LGBTQ people to feel hopeless by providing messages of love, acceptance, affirmation and hope.”

Thousands Rally PRIDE in Utah blogger/activist Eric Ethington called for a rally around the church’s administration building the following Wednesday. Hoping for a few hundred black-bedecked protesters to encircle the two-square-blocks lying down head-tofoot, he was surprised and thrilled to find thousands answering his call. “We are every color of the rainbow,” he told the crowd before it moved to Temple Square. “And we are tired of watching our children die.” “We are who we are,” Ethington said. “We cannot change, and you cannot change us. The more you say this, the more dead bodies you leave behind.” Ethington acknowledged that Packer and the Mormon Church has a right to express their views. “But there are consequences for your words, he said. “These are our lives and we will protect them at any cost.” “To the youth of the church who watched,” he said, “We love you. You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Do not listen to others who do not love you for who you are.” In all, Ethington estimated 4,500 people attended the protest. Many carried signs, others put tape over their mouths. Some carried pictures of friends or family who had committed suicide. Several hundred people also marched in Ogden, organized by the Rev. Theresa Novak and the congregation of the Universalist Unitarian Church of Ogden. “We had to let the kids know that not all

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LDS Church spokesman Scott Trotter, right, shakes the hand of Human Rights Campaign Executive Director Joe Solmonese as he delivers a letter with 150,000 signatures asking the church to reaffirm the dignity and worth of gay and lesbian people after Boyd K Packer’s speech at the church’s semiannual general conference. PHOTO: MICHAEL AARON religions feel like that,” Novak explained. “It will, I believe, quite literally save some lives.” Seventeen-year-old Jason Lee Benno organized a rally the following Saturday in St. George. “Before you echo ‘amen’ in your home or place of worship, think and remember, a child is listening,” he told the crowd. “Because of the words [Packer] and others spoke from the pulpits, many more LGBT youth and adults will be cast from their homes, shunned by their families, commit suicide or be sent to reparative therapy.” “We are not sick; we are not broken and we do not need to be fixed,” he continued. “It is time to stand together. It is time to end this pain.”

Leaders Descend on Salt Lake The Human Rights Campaign solicited signatures to a letter they drafted calling for Packer and the church to, “cease putting young people in real peril and acknowledge the scientific truth: sexual orientation cannot be changed, nor should it be.” “I’m appalled that you chose this moment to deliver a sermon saying same-sex attraction is unnatural and same-sex unions are immoral,” the letter began. “You have risked further alienating LGBT youth and potentially contributing to suicides of even more vulnerable young people. You’ve told them that their very identities are ‘impure and unnatural’ and you’ve incited the violence and bullying that often drives them to suicide by repeating lies disproved by both science and the experience of millions of Americans who know their LGBT neighbors and care about them.” Solmonese and Affirmation Executive Director Dave Melson flew to Salt Lake to hold a press conference and deliver 150,000 signatures to the church. “The church needs to tell LGBT people that they too are part of God’s plan and have the right to be loved for who they are. It is the honest and moral thing to do,” Solmonese said at the conference.

Melson explained that when Packer speaks, “Millions take his words as gospel.” “We call upon Packer to withdraw his words and reaffirm the worth and value of all of our heavenly parents’ children,” he said. “It is improper and reckless to tell a young gay person that they can change or need to change. It is wrong.” The LDS Church responded within hours of receiving the letter from HRC. “While we disagree with the Human Rights Campaign on many fundamentals, we also share some common ground. This past week we have all witnessed tragic deaths across the country as a result of bullying or intimidation of gay young men. We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different,” church spokesman Michael Otterson said in the statement. “Such actions simply have no place in our society.” “As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman. However, that should never, ever be used as justification for unkindness. Jesus Christ, whom we follow, was clear in His condemnation of sexual immorality, but never cruel. His interest was always to lift the individual, never to tear down.” The church reiterated its views that while homosexual feelings are not bad, acting upon them is.

Moving Forward

Larabee said, while she feared the recent comments are reopening old wounds that were just beginning to heal during meetings she and others in the community have been having with LDS Church officials, she felt that the talks will continue. “Our meetings have always been framed around telling stories to build bridges of understanding,” she said. “I don’t think this will stop us from sharing stories.” Q


Salt Lake School Board Mulls Gay Protections One of the largest school districts in the state is considering amending its code to prohibit discrimination against students and staff based on sexual orientation. On Oct. 5, the seven-member body discussed the proposal in a standing roomonly meeting where teachers also staged a silent protest against the alteration of the district’s high school schedules without input from faculty and parents. While many board members agreed that the policy was necessary to protect students from anti-gay harassment, they balked at adding gender identity to the list of protections. Will Carlson, a former employee of Equality Utah and candidate for the school board’s Precinct 3 seat, told the council that including gender identity was the only way to protect all students. “Issues of gender identity are a lot more apparent and visible than issues of sexual orientation. They are also in a lot more need of protection,” Carlson later told The Salt Lake Tribune. “As long as we are addressing injustice against the LGBT community, why would we say we’re going to protect ‘LGB’ but leave ‘T’ out?” Carlson’s opponent, incumbent Doug Nelson, said he supported the current proposal, which only includes sexual orientation. Although the sexual orientation protection appears to have the support of at least four board members — enough to approve it — two members disagreed that a change was necessary. Precinct 2’s Alama Uluave said that the current policy offered enough

protection for all students, and that adding another “protected class” might pose problems, including drawing attention to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. “I wonder if we’re not opening up Pandora’s box,” he said. Likewise, Precinct 4 board member Mark Maxfield suggested that a better way to prevent bullying would be for students to sign a form stating that they would not harass fellow students. He also said he favored implementing a zero tolerance bullying policy that would protect all students. “We need to improve the situation for all students before we try to tackle a hot topic such as this,” Maxfield told the Deseret News. “Although I’m not opposed to making morally important decisions ... if it’s going to do any good.” The board will discuss the proposed policy change at its Oct. 19 meeting and may call a vote as soon as Nov. 2. If a majority of four members approve the policy change, the Salt Lake School District will be the first in the state to explicitly prohibit antigay bullying and discrimination. The subject of bullying against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students has been a popular topic in the media nationwide following the suicides of at least nine students in September following prolonged anti-gay bullying. In the following weeks, members of Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and straight allies have held rallies in a number of cities in support of queer youth.


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Walmart Carrying Anti-Gay Book for Children A children’s book written by the wife of anti-gay Standard of Liberty president Stephen Graham is being carried by over 100 Walmart stores. Chased by an Elephant, the Gospel Truth about Today’s Stampeding Sexuality by Janice Barrett Graham was written to “help shed the clear light of truth on today’s dark and tangled ideas about male and female, proper gender roles, the law of chastity, and the God-given sexual appetite,” according to Janice Graham in the book’s introduction. “The number of our young people involved in sexual sins has greatly increased in recent years. Some of the most stalwart-seeming youth find themselves involved in pornography, fornication, promiscuity, homosexuality, and the like,” Janice continued. The Grahams claim that their son, Andrew, successfully changed his sexual orientation and is now a happily married man. Andrew Graham wrote the book, Captain of My Soul, saying that he was “lured

into same gender internet pornography during his high school years, and recruited into cursory homosexual experimentation with older men while at Brigham Young University.” Andrew says he is shedding light on the “deceitful and predatory nature of the ‘gay’ lifestyle.” The book’s introduction says Andrew’s “story ends happily with his subsequent deliverance and healing through family support, expert professional counseling, truth, and repentance through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Included is a lengthy introduction by expert on overcoming homosexuality.” After the version of this story went viral, Walmart posted on Twitter: “We routinely evaluate and make decisions regarding our book assortment and do not anticipate placing future orders for this title.” It is uncertain whether the tweet actually refers to this book. Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 9



Family Acceptance Conference Brings Youth, Parents Together by JoSelle Vanderhooft

Queer youth homelessness and suicide, antigay bullying and ways in which parents can support gender variant children were some of the subjects covered in Utah Pride Center’s first annual Family Acceptance Conference, held Oct. 8–10 at the Sheraton Salt Lake City Hotel. Although the conference itself kicked off on Oct. 8 with a workshop about preventing youth suicides held by The Trevor Project, the bulk of programming was held Saturday. One of the first breakout sessions was a presentation about the Massachusetts Commission on GLBT Youth, a ground-breaking program which surveys queer youth in the state about their experiences in school, which include instances of anti-gay and anti-transgender bullying and suicide attempts. Launched in 1992 with the cooperation of Republican Gov. Governor William F. Weld, the program was dissolved in 2006 and reincorporated as an independent agency. Nonetheless, said commission Vice Chair Ed Byrne, the commission still issues an annual report about the risk factors facing queer youth in schools and makes policy recommendations to legislators. Although Utah has no comparable program, he noted that the Utah Pride Center has long been interested in the commission’s work. Other workshops throughout the day included a smaller version of The Trevor Project’s Lifeguard Workshop, which Dave Reynolds, the project’s senior public policy and research manager, gave Friday; a workshop for parents about supporting gender variant children; and another presentation given by Reynolds about The Trevor Project and the ongoing “public health and social justice crisis” of queer youth suicides. During one of the afternoon sessions, attorney Carolyn Reyes and Utah Pride Center HIV Prevention Youth Program Coordinator Myles Davis held a workshop on recognizing intersectionality — or the multiple aspects of an individual’s identity, which include such factors as race, gender presentation, sexual orientation, religion and ability. To illustrate how easily and wrongly people make judgments about others, Reyes had two participants line up the rest of the audience on what the two perceived as a spectrum of masculine to feminine. Reyes then divided the room up into two groups and asked members of each to discuss how aspects of their identity overlapped. For example, one of her questions focused on the ways in which participants’ ethnic communities supported them. At the closing of the day, child welfare expert Rob Woronoff discussed how his industry moved from being unaware of the needs of queer youth in the early 1980s to fully supporting queer youth today. He traced this development from the founding of the first group homes for homeless gay and lesbian teens in the mid-80s through a number of watershed papers and publications — including keynote speaker Caitlyn Ryan’s Family Acceptance Project — to “listening sessions”

held by social workers and child welfare professionals in 13 U.S. cities in the mid 2000s. There gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth were able to talk candidly about the issues they faced in their schools and homes. “We wanted to hear what as going on, but we wanted to hear what was going on from the young [LGBT] people,” he said. One of the most popular of these sessions, said Woronoff, was held in Salt Lake City at the request of Missy Bird, now the executive director of Utah’s Planned Parenthood Action Council. Thanks to the Utah Pride Center’s cultural competency workshops, Woronoff added, Utah is one of only two U.S. states that now trains all of its social workers on the issues faced by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth. The conference’s keynote speech was given by Caitlyn Ryan, director of the groundbreaking Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University. Ryan’s project, which works to provide culturally relevant materials to educate families about supporting their gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children. Ryan, who was the National Association of Social Worker’s ‘Social Worker of the Year’ in 1988, said that she was honored to speak. “The Utah Pride Center is among the most progressive associations in the country working on this issue [helping families accept queer youth],” she said. Ryan then explained that her research had unearthed several shocking facts about the

effects of familial rejection on gay, lesbian and bisexual youth (research on transgender youth, she noted, is still sparse). For example, she said that rejecting behaviors by families, including denying their queer children access to gay friends and positive portrayals of gay people, actually impacted these youths’ mental health as drastically as did physical abuse. Less dramatically, her research discovered that queer children rejected by their parents were at a higher risk for mental illness than those whose families accepted them. “I know all of you in the room know that, and many of you live it, but we were never able to make those empirical connections until now, and that’s what’s so exciting,” she said. Ryan said she also found that most parents who engaged in a number of rejecting ways with their queer children did so not out of hatred, but out of a desire to protect their children from societal homophobia. This conclusion lead the project to reject the current model of care for queer youth, which does not involve families, in favor of one that attempts to teach families ways in which they can accept — or at least support — their gay, lesbian and bisexual children. “If we’re ever going to help parents and caregivers who are rejecting, we need to do it with compassion and let them understand the consequences of their behavior [such as putting their children at risk for substance abuse and suicide attempts] while respecting their values, faith traditions and their humanity,” she said. One of the ways in which FAP is attempting to further educate families is through DVDs which detail an actual family’s process in coming to accept a gay or lesbian child. Due to funding shortages, Ryan said the project has only produced a handful of such videos so far, including one depicting a Hispanic family which Ryan showed to attendees. Q

Affirmation, Others Raise Homeless Youth Awareness Leaders of a support group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender current and former Latter-day Saints rallied in San Francisco on Oct. 9 to support queer homeless youth, who nationally make up about 40 percent of all homeless teens and young adults. Nearly 600 people attended the rally in front of City Hall and participated in the following candlelight march to Milk Plaza in the gay-friendly Castro District, said David Melson, executive director of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons. Additionally, “about 15 speakers” from gay and transgender-rights groups such as Equality California and SoulForce addressed the crowd. “The other organizations in San Francisco all yielded under Affirmation’s banner, so this was San Francisco’s official response to the suicides,” said Melson, referring to the suicides of at least nine teens in September in which anti-gay bullying had played a part. Although the protest coincided with others held in Salt Lake City against anti-gay remarks made by LDS Apostle Boyd K. Packer, the Affirmation event was not inspired by

10 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

Packer’s sermon, but rather by Affirmation’s attempt to tackle queer youth homelessness and suicide in 2010. As part of this effort, Melson and two other Affirmation leaders — Senior Assistant Director George Cole, and Assistant Director Micha Bisson — also spent a day on San Francisco’s streets without money or shelter in order to get a taste of what being homeless is like. Although they attempted to panhandle, they did not take services offered to homeless people, such as food and blankets being distributed by charities. At no point did they tell anyone what they were attempting to do. “We felt if we’re going to put a dent in this [youth homelessness], we should know as much as we can about what these kids go through” Melson told QSaltLake. None of them, he said, were prepared for what they saw. “I saw two people die during the night,” said Melson. “One had fallen and hit his head. The other one ... I had found a place —Continued on page 45

sWerve Halloween Party Lesbian social and civic group sWerve will hold its annual Halloween Party at the W Lounge, complete with costume ball and contest, dancing, vegan-friendly snacks from Cakewalk Bakery and a performance by Backdoor Burlesque. WHEN: Oct. 16, 7–11 p.m. WHERE: W Lounge, 358 S. West Temple COST: $10 at the door

Standing on the Side of Love Auction The First Unitarian Church of Salt Lake City will host its 2010 Standing on the Side of Love auction to benefit its programs and work in supporting Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer community, and in the state’s immigrant community. The event will be co-hosted by Sister Dottie S. Dixon and Rebecca Heal of the Saliva Sisters, and special guests will include Utah Pride Center Director Valerie Larabee and Pat Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune writer and cartoonist. The church will also award its Fourth Annual Fairly-Free Thinker Award to LDS playwright and author Carol Lynn Pearson for her work in supporting gay rights. Auction items have been donated by a number of Utah businesses including Gastronomy, Inc., Knead a Massage, the Sundance Institute, Blue Boutique and King’s English Bookshop. Volunteers and item donations are still being sought. Attendance is limited, so early registration is encouraged. WHEN: Nov. 13, 6:30–9:30 p.m. WHERE: Rice Eccles Stadium Tower TICKETS: $45 online until Nov. 10; $55 at the door INFO:

Park Silly 2011 Vendors Park City’s 2011 Park Silly Sunday Market is now taking vendor applications, which will receive 25 percent off booth fees as part of its early bird special. To sign up visit Note that jewelry, on-site cooking and snack food vendors will be juried and may not pay fees until judging is complete. Deadline for jewelry and food vendors is March 1, 2011. INFO: or vendor coordinator Becca Gerber at Becca@parksillysundaymarket. com.

stress at bay.” “[Perez] has this great personality that makes people feel welcome and wanted and comfortable. So that makes her a wonderful facilitator,” she said. The day’s final workshop will be an update on HIV and antiretroviral drugs by Dr. Kristen Ries, the first Utah doctor to work with HIV-positive patients in the disease’s early days. “She hasn’t done our medical update for a few years now because her schedule didn’t permit it, and we’re very happy to have her back,” said Johnson, noting that Ries’ update would include new information about the link between HIV and chronic inflammation “and about new drugs coming down the pipeline.” Johnson will also give a short presentation on PWACU’s new programs, like its writing group and free haircuts for clients. She will also discuss the youth HIV prevention program which PWACU plans to open in 2011. “I feel that PWACU has an obligation to bring prevention to our community’s youth which is not currently being done,” she said. The program, Focus on Youth + Impact, will be a series of nine sessions devoted to teaching youth and their parents and Document Specifications guardians about HIV. The first session, Date:parents 09/23/10 said Johnson, Proof will educate about how to look for behaviors that put their File Name: Q ad SLAC Angels children at risk for getting HIV and how to talk about prevention. The following Publication: Cityseven Weekly sessions will cover such things as obtainDesigner: Matt comHall ing information about sexual health, municating assertively, and how to show Proof #: Print Version affection and love without having sex. The last session Other will be aNotes: youth-lead community project. Registration for the Living With AIDS conference will begin at 9:30 on Oct. 16 at the Jewish Community Center. Scholarships are available for Utahns with HIV/ AIDS and all who wish to attend but who can’t afford the $25 fee. For more information visit Q

A Gay Fantasia on National Themes

On Oct. 16, the People with AIDS Coalition of Utah will hold its 22nd annual Living with AIDS Conference for Utahns living with, and affected by, the disease, as well as their loved ones, caregivers and HIV/ AIDS service providers. For the first time in its history, the daylong conference will be held at the Jewish Community Center on 2 North Medical Dr. “It’s a beautiful building. We’re really excited to be there,” said PWACU Executive Director Toni Johnson. As in past years, the conference will include several sessions, each designed to give attendees updates on the latest in HIV research and care, and tips on taking care of their physical, emotional and mental health. The conference regularly brings in doctors, pharmacists and drug company representatives to lead its sessions. In the morning, ViiV Healthcare pharmacist Deanna L. Merrill will give a presentation about HIV and bone loss (the GlaxoSmithKline and Pfizer-owned global AIDS health care company is one of the 2010 conference’s sponsors). “They have found that people with HIV suffer bone loss. It’s like getting osteoporosis at a much earlier age,” said Johnson, who is HIV positive herself. “Our bone density decreases and people tend to break bones much easier. I have clients that are getting fractures and breaks while doing things that shouldn’t break your bones.” Johnson said that researchers discussed these new findings on the connection between HIV and bone loss aft 2009’s Retrovirus and Opportunistic Infections conference. “This is a new thing and we wanted to discuss this to give people ideas on how to protect themselves,” she said. After lunch, PWACU Writing Group facilitator Agustina Perez will lead the conference’s mental health workshop: “Who Me? Stressed?” In this session, said Johnson, participants will learn “about things like exercise, nutrition and how to keep

Angels in America

PWACU to Hold Conference for Utahns with HIV/AIDS

“…One of the greatest plays of the twentieth century.”

By Tony Kushner

in America Former Homeless SLC Queer Youth Starts Blog One of Utah’s many formerly homeless queer youth has just launched a blog,, to help empower gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer/questioning teens and young adults in similar situations. Katrina Oakason, who identifies as queer, spent two years on Salt Lake City’s streets and is now the first youth ambassador for Operation Shine America. This is a program co-founded by Chloe Noble and Jill Hartman, two Utah women who spent most of 2009 walking across the United States

to raise awareness of what they called the queer homeless youth epidemic. Nationally, 40 percent of homeless youth identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning or non-straight. In Utah, that number is roughly 42 percent. On the blog, Oakason wrote that she speaks to “various groups of people” about topics including “LGBTQI homeless youth and their situations, and Queer-straight alliances and the importance of straight allies.”

—Continued on page 45

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 11

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Center to Hold Workshop for Older Lesbians, Bi Women Older lesbians, bisexual women and their allies of all sexual orientations are invited to a workshop on planning for later life and making Utah what one facilitator described as “the greatest place in the country for older lesbians.” To be held Oct. 30 at the Utah Pride Center, the six-hour Living Our Visions Workshop will examine participants’ concerns about aging as sexual minorities in Salt Lake Valley, handling later life issues and building a strong community of older lesbian and bisexual women. To that point, said co-facilitator Liz Abrams, the discussion will be very open-ended and depend largely on what participants want to discuss. “Our point is to assess the needs of the community of older lesbians living in the Salt Lake Valley and wherever we go with that we’re going to go,” said Abrams, a Ph.D. candidate in the University of Utah’s Counseling and Psychology Program, and whose area of emphasis is social and economic justice. Abrams will run the workshop with Dr. Sue Morrow, a psychologist and professor at the university who identifies as an older lesbian. The workshop, explained Abrams (who identifies as bisexual), is part of her dissertation, which is on participatory action research. This means, she said, that the workshop will be geared toward a three step process. “We want to work with community members here on assessing our needs and coming up with some plans on what we want here then implementing some actions and documenting them so other folks from other communities can see what we’re doing and build on that in their own community,” she said. Along the way, said Abrams, participants will also be considered collaborating researchers. This means that the workshop

will be recorded. While the tape will not be shared with anyone without written permission from all those involved, Abrams stressed that she did not want to lose participants who are concerned about having a camera in the room. “We want to work with them if they still want to be there,” she said. “There are ways [to avoid appearing on camera] like sitting with their backs to the camera or sitting next to it. We’re really flexible around that, but we feel like this is an important process we want to document.” Abrams said she hopes that the workshop will draw “a diversity of women in terms of age, race, ethnicity, social class, spiritual tradition, ability and all our identities.” To that effect, she said that anyone who is interested in supporting bisexual and lesbian women in the aging process is also welcome, including men, transgender women and straight people. Younger women (under age 40) are also invited to participate. Ultimately, Abrams said she sees the workshop as a way of helping a community that has played a huge role in her academic development. “This project is important for me for very personal reasons,” she said. “The most significant mentors in my life have been older lesbians, and for me this project feels like one small way of giving back to the community that I feel has really raised me.” Registration for the workshop is $5 and includes lunch (with vegetarian and vegan options). Interested participants are encouraged to register as soon as possible because of registration caps (due to the size of the room). Participants with concerns about transportation to the workshop should contact Liz Abrams at liz.abrams@ for assistance. Q To register, visit

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Suicide Prevention Workshop Draws Modest Crowd, Stresses Warning Signs by JoSelle Vanderhooft

To kick off its three-day conference on issues facing queer youth and their families, the Utah Pride Center sponsored an afternoon workshop on youth suicide prevention taught by the country’s leading suicide prevention network for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. Dave Reynolds, Senior Public Policy and Research Manager for The Trevor Project, lead the two-hour workshop focused on recognizing warning signs of depression and suicidal thoughts in youth, and how to help them. The 30 people who packed the Center’s Multi Purpose room for the talk included queer youth, social workers and adults from Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual and Dave Reynolds of the Trevor transgender community and their Project straight allies. Reynolds noted that The Trevor Project’s suicide and crisis prevention lifeline for queer youth had been busier than usual following national media coverage of several youth who took their lives after anti-gay bullying. “What’s sad is this happens every week, it’s just the media is talking about this now,” said Reynolds. “They’re finally giving this public health and social justice issue the due attention it deserves.” After giving participants an overview of the project’s services, which include not only a helpline, but also a social networking site ( and an instant messenger service for non-crisis issues (TrevorChat), Reynolds asked the audience to participate in an activity called “Coming Out Stars.” Participants were given one of four different colored paper stars and asked to write the names of loved ones, employers and communities to which they belonged on each arm. He then lead the audience through the scenarios of coming out to each, which went differently depending on the color of the star. While some stars remained intact at the end of the activity, others had torn or folded arms, depending on whether the experience of coming out destroyed a relationship or set it back.

“This is a non-confrontational, non-political way to show what things are like for LGBT youth,” Reynolds said. Although suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds, Reynolds said that queer youth were four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers because of homophobia and transphobia. When those queer youth come from families that reject them, he said the number jumps to eight times more likely than queer youth who come from accepting families. He also noted that anti-gay and anti-transgender bullying put youth who experience it at an increased risk for abusing drugs. Other factors that put queer teens at risk for suicide include a history of mental illness (including eating disorders), accessibility to firearms, family and academic crises and homelessness. Suicide risk factors that specifically affect queer youth include stigmatization for gender non-conformity, rejection when coming out and even coming out at a young age. In older generations, Reynolds explained, people typically came out in adulthood, after their brains had developed coping mechanisms for stress. “But now kids are coming out who don’t have that,” he said. “They’re facing that same societal backlash but now they’re facing it at 12, 13, 14, 15 instead of down the road. At 15 you haven’t developed those coping mechanisms. The frontal part of the brain where coping mechanisms develop, doesn’t develop until you’re 24.” To help keep youth from making suicide attempts, Reynolds instructed participants to watch for several warning signs, like having a plan for suicide and a means of carrying it out, making arrangements for the disposition of possessions and an increase in alcohol or drug use. He urged the audience not to scold youth who admit to feeling suicidal, but to accept their feelings, express concern, remove dangerous objects from their environment, and encourage them to seek professional help and to develop a plan for keeping safe if the feelings persist. Above all, he stressed that talking about suicide directly would not make someone suicidal. “You’re never going to put the idea [of suicide] in someone’s head if you talk about it in a non-judgmental way,” he said. “Often we’re too scared of what we’re going to hear about if we talk about suicide, and that’s a natural

fear as human beings.” Reynolds then encouraged participants to help youth further by promoting easy access to effective mental health care with “culturally competent practitioners who know how to work with LGBT people,” and to promote not only involvement in queer-positive communities, but to nurture their artistic, athletic and academic talents to give them a positive outlet to channel negative emotions. Speaking specifically to educators and health care providers present, Reynolds cautioned not to encourage a queer or questioning youth to come out, and to remember that such youth have a heightened need for confidentiality, as having their parents learn about their sexual orientation or gender identity could get them kicked out of their homes. “If you’re a school counselor, remember that you’re only getting one part of the story,” he said. “Remember that it’s not helpful to tell someone to come out in a home where they can be hurt or thrown out.” He also encouraged teachers to help bullied youth carefully and specifically document each instance of bullying, including who they reported the incident to and what actions that person took to stop it. Most queer youth, he said, report that teachers and administrators do nothing when they hear about anti-gay or anti-transgender abuse. “If you overhear students make homophobic, bi-phobic or transphobic remarks in your presence, challenge them,” he said. “We would not stand it if someone used the N-word in our classroom, and we should not stand for them to use the f-word [fag] or the d-word [dyke]. I know it’s hard when you hear it every day, but if we don’t stand up to it, who will?” Overall, he stressed that ending anti-gay and anti-transgender bullying had to begin with the current generation of youth. “People are acting surprised when there are all these LGBT youth suicides when adults are behaving this way,” he said. “We’ve got to start with this generation. Younger generations brains are more likely to adapt than adult brains that are set in their ways.” The Trevor Lifeline receives 30,000 – 40,000 calls each year with what Reynolds called a “disproportionate number” coming from Utah, which has had the highest suicide rate out of any state for the past several years. If you are a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer/questioning youth contemplating suicide, call 1-866-4-U-Trevor. All calls are free and confidential. Q

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 13


guest editorial Faithfulness to the Word of God? by Curtis Price


Y VIEW, AND MANY MAINLINE churches views, boil down to how one understands the Bible. Fundamentalists and many evangelicals read the Bible literally as though God dropped it from the sky one day all written out in the King’s English. I interpret the Bible with a “more than literal” approach which looks at scripture through the lens of context, language, culture and sitz im leben. With this as my starting point I hear what the bible says to the churches about issues of sexuality and come to a very different view than a literal reading of the Bible. In regard to the issue of homosexuality, while the Bible speaks of it a very few times, when setting and context is taken into account it seems to be addressing issues of generally unhealthy sexual behavior as in 1 Corinthians 6, pagan practices of ritual sex as in Leviticus and a polemic against Roman religious practices of the time as in Romans 1. In fact, Romans suggests the sin lies in doing what is unnatural. It seems to me that it would be easy to see this as suggesting that if I were gay, the unnatural thing for me to do would be to be with a woman, thus violating the tenant. Of course on this very crucial and vital issue within the Kingdom of God, Jesus says absolutely nothing. At most what can be said is that on the issue of a healthy, monogamous, loving commitment between two people of the same gender the Bible is mute. It also has always seemed a little disingenuous that people focus so strongly on the homosexuality part of Leviticus while abandoning almost every other mandate such as wearing a cloth of two fabrics or eating shellfish. Not to mention that the penalties for most of these violations including a man lying with a man is death, which no reasonable person thinks should be done. So it seems we already feel fine picking and choosing which scriptures are applicable and which ones can be ignored, so I suggest there is something more here than just faithfulness to the Word of God. Additionally, given what the Bible says about it, I’m not sure at what point it becomes an issue. When I talk to many gay

people it is just as hard for them to imagine themselves as straight as it is for me to contrive attraction to men. So my question is, at what point is a person outside the parameters of what is acceptable? Is it just being gay, is it when you look at someone and find them attractive, is it when you lust or is it the actual penetration? I think there is a lot of nuance that goes into being gay that is not taken into account by the Bible, and the people objecting to homosexuals. Of course, the issue of procreation comes up a lot and I know that within the LDS faith that has some added significance. But from my perspective, in a world where the population is nearing 7 billion, it seems the mandate to “be fruitful and multiply” has been satisfied. Thus our covenant and commitment to a partner can be, and is, about something more. I say it is about a loving, meaningful, faithful relationship that is edifying to both people and the family they have if they have one. This goes for straight and gay alike. Finally, and this is strictly personal, I have known many gay Christians whose faith I would stack against anyone’s. I know the Holy Spirit when I see it and I have seen it in many LGBT brothers and sisters. Not to mention that the most committed relationship I can think of, the one that is the best example of what it means to have a healthy marriage, is between two gay men who are the Godparents of my children. Quite frankly, these good people are far more compelling to me than anything else. Price is the pastor at First Baptist Church at 777 S. 1300 East in Salt Lake City.

1 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

leers Packer is a Dinosaur Mr. Boyd Packer, Sir, you are living in the past. The world is changing, and you don’t like it. There are changes in the world I don’t like either. The difference between you and I in this respect is that I know that even though there are changes taking place that I don’t like, some of them are beneficial to others. These ideas may challenge my personal ideologies and values, but I keep an open mind, and don’t blindly adhere to my established ways of thinking. On the other hand, you, sir, are a dinosaur. Don’t take that personally. I’ve loved dinosaurs since I was a kid. Were you aware of the fact that the month before your hateful and discriminatory speech six young people took their lives bullied into it because they were gay? Are you aware that hundreds of youth right here in Salt Lake City are on the streets, kicked out of their homes because of their sexual identity? I hope not. That would make your crime even more heinous. You told people they must change, then in the same breath you avow that you will not. Your hypocrisy is audacious, and your example to your fellows and to your children is abhorrent. Perhaps you mean well, but if your actions infringe upon the liberties and rights of others, you are in the wrong. You are not doing your church’s work if you are discriminating and hating. When you are

telling your youth that they are abnormal, that they need to be cured when there is nothing wrong with them, then you are affecting their self esteem and happiness. I am sure that is not your intent, but that is what you are doing. Words have consequences, especially when spoken by someone perceived to be held in high regard, in a position of authority. Please listen to those among your number that are progressive-minded enough to support their gay family members and friends. Please stop killing your children. John Wilkes Salt Lake City

March for Sister Wives, Not Against Packer

Editor, I write as an openly gay man who is NOT in favor of last week’s protest. Boyd K. Packer’s speech was made in his church. If we really believe in freedom of speech, freedom of religion and seperation of church and state, then the only people who have any business protesting are actual members of the LDS Church, of which I am not. Instead, in the persuit of true equality, the Utah gay community should rally in support for Kody Brown and the Sister Wives family who are now facing criminal charges for coming out of their closet. After all, shouldn’t they also have the right to plural marriage? The government should not be in their bedroom or mine and that is the real issue at hand. Michael Sanders Salt Lake City


the straight line The Cost of Bullying by Bob Henline

MAGINE YOURSELF IN A SMALL, dark space. The walls around you constrict; you feel suffocated, smothered, like you’re running out of air. You want to move, but you can’t. You reach out, but no one is there. You try to cry out, but your voice disappears into thin air. You see the world around you in distorted, shadowy images, but it doesn’t see you. What options do you have? Every breath you take is a struggle, every moment filled with mental and emotional anguish. You feel lost and abandoned, hopeless. You see death as the only escape, the only way to end the pain. Most of us, fortunately, never experience that level of pain and fear. However, the number of children who do is increasing, especially in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community. It seems that almost daily we hear about another suicide, happening mostly among teens and young adults. As a result of these tragedies, more and more people are paying attention to the issue of bullying. The media, the public and even law enforcement are starting to investigate the people who are (allegedly) pushing these vulnerable youth over the edge of despair. While I agree that the bullies should certainly be investigated and punished, I think that we are unfortunately focused on the symptom and not the real disease. We, as a society, need to ask ourselves what makes these people so vulnerable to bullies. What happens to make these people feel so isolated, and what makes them believe that there is no hope? While this may be an overly simplistic suggestion to deal with a complex psychological issue, the fact still remains: Our society has marginalized this segment of the population, and that marginalization is the real fuel behind these suicides. I’m not a psychologist, but it’s easy to see that the majority of these youth suicides are based upon acceptance. For the most part (unless a mental illness is involved), people who are accepted and who have a healthy network of emotional support don’t take their own lives. As an example, take a look at the Salt Lake City community at large. We live

in the shadow of a predominant religion that openly condemns homosexuality. The LDS Church has helped to fund and drive a number of anti-gay measures both in Utah and around the nation. Just last weekend one of the LDS Church’s general authorities gave an inflammatory talk at LDS General Conference, referencing homosexuality as a treatable condition, an evil choice that is made. Now imagine yourself as a teenager in this environment. Perhaps you are growing up in an LDS household, perhaps not. Either way, due to your location and environment, you feel the social pressures of Mormonism. It’s a fact of life in Utah. Imagine further that your “secret” comes out at school. Other students start harassing you. You can’t turn to your teachers, because you don’t want them to know. You don’t want them to judge you. You can’t turn to your parents, because you’re afraid that they won’t understand, won’t accept you. So where do you turn? There are some support groups and institutions that exist — like the Utah Pride Center — but going there creates a risk of discovery and even more public humiliation and harassment. So the bullying continues. And more lives are lost. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that we can’t legislate change of attitude. We can’t pass a law that will magically make our society more accepting and supportive of queer people. What we can do, however, is continue to shine light on the problem that exists. We can continue to investigate instances of bullying and harassment and bring those guilty to justice. In doing so, perhaps we can even demonstrate to the vulnerable that they aren’t alone. That there are those of us who not only accept them for who they are, but who embrace them for those differences. We also need to continue to focus not only on the bullies at the end of the chain, but the bigots who create the atmosphere that allows bullying to flourish. Q

We can’t pass a law that will magically make our society more accepting of queer people

Bob Henline is a straight man. Don’t hold that against him — he was born that way. He is also a professional author and editor. His blog can be read at

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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 15


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❝ Since the Songwriters

A Renegade History of the United States: Part 1 by Troy Williams


HERE IS A HISTORY THAT we have not been told. Our grade school texts did not reveal how whorehouses in the 1800s first pioneered contraception. Our teachers never discussed how low-class taverns in colonial days were the earliest places of racial integration. Our historians have never explained how the radical queers of Gay Liberation made oral sex and nude beaches commonplace among ordinary straight people. These are just a few of the provocative stories restored to the cannon by revisionist historian, Thaddeus Russell. His new book, A Renegade History of the United States, argues that the true origins of American freedom come not from the pious social reformers who established our democracy, but rather from the renegades and low-life rabble who fought back against the moral restrictions of respectable society. His work covers U.S. history from the perspective of those who we often consider “bad”: the drunkards, prostitutes, slaves, transvestite pirates, brazen homosexuals and the criminal underworld. Renegade History celebrates these despised heroes of American liberty. Russell and I spoke recently on KRCL’s RadioActive.

“Great Men” did.

TROY Williams: As kids we learned about white history with George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, et al. Then as adults we progressives read Howard Zinn’s, A People’s History of the United States from the perspectives of blacks, Indians and women. Now we have a history of renegades. Why?

up creating a lot of unlikely bedfellows. For instance, the two biggest critics of jazz in the 1920s were the Ku Klux Klan and civil rights leaders. Not to mention feminists who wanted to close down dance halls and regulate dance steps for women.

THADDEUS Russell: American history started off being dominated by “Great White Men.” That was called “history from the top down.” That was overthrown in the ’60s and ’70s by the generation of scholars who came of age in the anti-war, civil rights and feminist movements. They wrote what they called “history from the bottom up.” I was a huge fan of Howard Zinn. I was trained by that generation of scholars. I was certainly one of them. But in graduate school when I was looking at this, it felt like they were missing a huge element of society, those even below the people who they had looked at. And the heroes they put into the narratives, they replaced the founding fathers with abolitionists and they replaced great capitalists with labor leaders. But even those people, who were supposedly the voice of the oppressed, often ended up having the same bourgeois values that the

TW: You argue that the more bad people existed, the more freedoms were expanded for all. TR: “The history from the bottom up” has been driven by clashes between whites and blacks, rich and power, men and women, gays and straights. What I do is look at American history through the lens of conflict between those interested in their own individual desires and those who are interested in preserving social order. That ends

America created a formal culture that was more repressive than Victorian England

TW: You argue the Founding Fathers saw a way to make Americans think that fun and vice was bad. And that was called democracy. TR: Democracy is the handing over management of society to the people. And managing a society, especially a brand new nation like the United States, required a lot of work. So you’ll find a lot of repressive cultures coming up to keep people from pursuing their own desires at the expense of the nation-state. TW: And that’s when we see temperance movements gaining popularity. TR: Right. The culture, particular in the American cities and the countryside, up until the War of Independence was tremendously libertine. European visitors were always shocked at how many prostitutes were on the streets. They were shocked at how much birth control was available in ordinary stores. And they were shocked at how

16 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

many taverns there were — on every block of every major city. This all changed after the Revolution. America created a formal culture that was more repressive than Victorian England. TW: Describe low-class taverns in pre-Revolutionary times. Who were the patrons? TR: If you walked into a typical low-class tavern in Philadelphia or New York City in the 1760s and 1770s you would find blacks, whites and Native Americans together. It was a tremendously racially integrated culture. Many women owned saloons and managed them. Thirty years later that would become taboo. But this was the time when women pioneered owning property and being managers in society. In the 1760s, the majority of taverns in Charleston were owned by women. And they not only owned taverns, they were in them. Upper-class taverns were the refuge of the white male elite. That’s where the Founding Fathers hung out. Low class taverns in American cities in the 18th century were [where] slaves, ex-slaves, whites — including Irish immigrants — mingled and danced together. The early history of rock ‘n’ roll is found in these taverns. The music that was played there was often a hybrid of Celtic and slave music. There was lots of social dancing. Scholars have traced the lineage of rock ‘n’ roll all the way back there. TW: You write that people were gloriously, shamelessly drunk in public. TR: Right, there was also unabashed public displays of sexuality of all kinds. There’s even evidence of a transgender culture going on, brought to shore by pirates in the 1720s and ’30s. A lot of the pirates of the Golden Age retired in port cities like Charleston, Philadelphia and New York. Historians have found a long history of pirates bringing sodomy (it wasn’t called homosexuality back then) to the cities. We’ve found evidence of transvestites roaming the streets openly unashamed of who they were. TW: So Johnny Depp knew what he was doing? TR: As a matter of fact, yes! Johnny Depp’s research for that role was based on a book about sodomy and the pirate tradition. And that’s why Jack Sparrow is the way he is. Q In part 2 we’ll discuss whorehouses in early America and how Italian mobsters invested in the nation’s first gay bars. Podcast the entire interview at

Guild of America (SGA) is suing the LDS Church over calling gays people “struggling with ‘SameGender Attraction (SGA),’” what term should they come up with next to describe gay and lesbian people? (BTW — kidding on the lawsuit thing) Dennis J. Lee We love you, we really do — now you change to match our beliefs. Lustful, Devious Sodomites (LDS, to add to the confusion). Roque Salas Heterosexually Challenged.

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Michael Walton M.E.A.T. Men Enjoying Aggravating Theologians, or L.I.P.S. Lesbians Investigating Peculiar Sexuality.


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K PETALS, BEFORE I START ragging on Boyd K. Packer, I have to tell you about the funniest visual image I have seen in a long time. There I was, butching it up at Tire World on Third West, waiting for the truck to come down off the hydraulic lift, when something across the street made me do a double take. American Bush has installed solar panels on its roof! I know, I know, I couldn’t believe it either! First the LDS Church rolls out their new energy efficient stake centers, and now the strippers at American Bush have gone eco-friendly. To which I have to say, “you go, girls!” Al Gore must be “discernibly turgid” with pride. Having such an incredibly broad range of conservationists makes it official. So, as of 1:28 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 23, 2010, I’m calling it: Energy Conservation is now officially mainstream! Oh, by the way, for those of you gay men who don’t know what American Bush is, it’s a hetero tittie bar, not a variety of shrub rose. And slightly off topic, but not really surprising: my spell checker doesn’t recognize the word “tittie”... hmmm, I wonder why? Anyhow, cherubs, let’s talk about the elephant in the living room. Boyd K. Packer. Just when you see some long overdue softening of the LDS Church’s harsh anti-gay policies, and you think it’s safe to let your defenses down, some general authority slash suicide bomber comes along and blows up the entire GAY/LDS peace process. I can’t help but feel I am partially responsible for Boyd’s incendiary rhetoric. I have watched him spout off anti-gay screeds for decades, and I have never challenged him. Typically, I have just rolled my eyes and ignored his rants as the product of an angry, obsessed, self-righteous and self-entitled mind. Maybe I should have said something, or done something, way before his Conference Talk of Mass Destruction ever happened. Maybe I should have protested when they built the LDS Wall around downtown, or when they enforced the blockade against the Utah Woolen Mills. Maybe I should have laid down in front of the bulldozers when they started building LDS Settlements on South Temple and pushing out the native liberals. I could have stopped this escalation, and now, muffins, I can no longer stay quiet. This man needs a gay reality check, and pronto! Why the urgency, petals? Because Boyd K. Packer is not just some random white, aging, LDS homophobe, “His Hatefulness” is the next in line to become the leader of the LDS Church and assume the role of

prophet, seer and revelator (or, as I like to term the Mormon Pope, “The MOPE”). This means Packer’s extreme anti-gay biases and tirades will instantly become the official policies of the LDS religion, which their unthinking membership automatically affirms and enforces. That’s super scary on so many levels, not the least of which is Packer’s obsession with and hatred of all things gay. I pity any LDS family with gay children, or young gay or lesbian LDS members who will have to grow up under that kind of hateful pressure. Much of Packer’s adult life has been dedicated to the oppression and isolation of gay people in the LDS Church. To the LDS faithful, Packer’s antigay stances are what define him. Now, in our community, if anyone was so fixated on a single point, we would recognize it for what it was, and call it what it is. A fetish! It’s been really interesting watching the LDS Church’s non-response to the “Gays Can and Must Change” controversy. If you’ve noticed, the church has not tried to walk the issue backwards at all. Which tells me that someone, somewhere in the Church Administration Building wanted Packer to lob this grenade out there. Their other response has been to hide behind Packer’s code words and pretend that he never directly said hateful things about gays and lesbians (which technically he didn’t, because the remarks were so wrapped up in that monotone passiveaggressive LDS code-speak that only the faithful can decode). What’s that old adage about Mormons smiling to your face while they stab you in the back? Anyway, cupcakes, at the end of the day, Packer has done us all a huge favor. He has proven that all of the image softening, cosmetic policy changes and mediation between the church and the gay and lesbian community was simply a public relations “pink wash.” After Prop 8 the glare of the international media spotlight was on the church, so they took token steps to quickly patch up their image. They didn’t change policies for the better, or make life safer or more tolerable for their gay members and their families; they just massaged the public image of the LDS Church and hoped that people would forget. That tells me exactly where their priorities are, and sadly how worthless and disposable they think their gay members and their families are. Heavy sigh! Q You can see Ruby Ridge and the Matrons of Mayhem in all of their polyester glory at Third Friday Bingo (every third Friday of the month at 7 p.m.) at First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East.

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 17

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OT TOO LONG AGO I found a note stuffed into Gus’ school folder along with his homework: the Cub Scouts were recruiting. Not surprisingly, I have very mixed feelings about the Boy Scouts of America. On the one hand, they offer a lot of fun activities that young boys really dig. On the other hand, they’re one of the most blatantly unapologetic homophobic organizations in the world. Of course, Gus doesn’t understand any of the negative issues. He was just very excited about joining. And frankly, denying him the opportunity to be a Cub Scout would make Kelly and me hypocrites: we both had been Cub Scouts. To be honest, I really enjoyed being a Cub Scout. I have fond memories of attending the Gulls’ baseball games, going backpacking and just hanging out with other boys my age. I think it helped that I was in an entirely all-Greek troop, based out of our church. I fit in better. A few years before I had joined the troop, I was asked about joining my neighborhood Cub Scouts. They were based out of our local LDS ward. The Scout Master showed up on Easter night to pitch the idea, having been given my name by one of the other kids on the street. His pitch was that although my family wasn’t LDS, I was still welcome. Never mind that the meetings and all the ceremonies were held at the ward house. That wasn’t a problem, they’d still respect me! Seriously, he said they’d still respect me. I said I’d think about it, even though I knew I wasn’t going to join. When we shut the door, I turned to my mom and asked how could they respect me when he clearly thought nothing of coming to our house, unannounced, on what is our most important religious holiday? She agreed that wasn’t the place for me. Fitting in growing up is important. Whether we like it or not, doing so makes childhood a little easier. And because our kids’ family doesn’t look like almost any others, we want to make sure they fit in whenever possible. We decided that since Gus so badly wanted to be a Cub Scout, we’d let him. It helped that his troop is based out of the Greek Church — the same

one I was in over 30 years ago. So a couple of weeks ago, he and I walked into the little church gym for his first troop meeting. Gus loved it. He reveled in it. He was so excited when he recognized one of his buddies from Sunday School, that he had to get up, march right over and plop himself right next to the kid. I sat making small talk with the other dads. I figured, like my parents before me, I’d sit with him this first time and after that just drop him off and pick him up an hour later. No such luck. Now, in Cub Scouts, the parents have to stay the entire time. For Gus to enjoy this experience, I had to make the commitment, too. I figured I could sit there and talk with the other dads for an hour a week. But as we were leaving, the Den Mother asked to talk to me and another dad. She wanted to know if we’d be willing to help. The other dad enthusiastically agreed, but I hesitated. I know that I could have just said “no” and been done with it. But I was a Cub Scout. And Cub Scouts take an oath of honor to be honest and brave. So I told the woman I’d be glad to if the group would let me. I informed her, however, that as a gay man I was prohibited from helping. Without skipping a beat she told me she didn’t care and asked again if I would help. Here’s the funny thing: her tone hinted at annoyance, like I was using being gay as an excuse! I could have made a political statement and simply refused because of the organization’s homophobic policies. But what good would that have done? It wouldn’t change anything. And my son’s small troop would have had to struggle with one less adult. For me it boiled down to what I think is best for my boys. I want them to have as “normal” of a childhood as possible — given that they’re being raised by two nonLDS gay men in suburban Salt Lake. And who knows? Maybe my being there will do some good. When I told my friend Kerri about Gus joining the Cub Scouts, she said that she had refused to allow her son to join because they just “piss her off too much.” Then she added, “Maybe Gus can be that change they need so much.” Q

Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage 1 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010


bushauck Why ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ is Bad for the Country by Ryan Shattuck

ES, IT’S TRUE: BEING GAY in the United States means one is much more likely to host an awards show, such as the Oscars, the Emmys or the Tonys. But being gay in the United States also has its disadvantages. Gay men and women cannot marry in 90 percent of U.S. states. Adoption by gay men and women is legally protected by only 36 percent of states. Gay men have been prohibited from donating blood since 1983. Before the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act in October 2009, 18 states didn’t include sexual orientation in their hate crimes law. And to date, gay men and women are barred from serving openly in the U.S. military. Banning gay men and women from serving openly in the military is discriminatory, unfair to those who are willing to sacrifice their lives and blatantly un-American. Gay soldiers who are willing to sacrifice their lives to their country deserve the same rights and privileges as other worthy members of the military. But let’s ignore the ‘discrimination’ argument this time. Life is unfair, you can’t always get what you want, not everybody plays by the rules, blah blah blah. Let’s ignore Lady Gaga’s impassioned — albeit bizarre — pleading to end Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Let’s extract the ‘discrimination’ factor out of the equation, because when emotions and feelings become entangled, the debate becomes a weepy mess. Instead, let’s focus not on why DADT is bad for gay men and women, but why it’s bad for the United States. As of May 2009, there were 1,447,095 members of the U.S. military, consisting of 548,000 members in the U.S. Army, 203,095 members in the Marine Corp, 332,000 members in the Navy, 323,000 members in the Air Force, and 41,000 members in the Coast Guard. Although some critics occasionally complain that the U.S. military has grown too large, it actually consists of only 0.46 percent of the entire population of the United States, thus making for a very elite organization of dedicated men and women. Only 0.46 percent of the entire country is willing to put his or her life on the line to protect the remaining 99.54 percent of Americans. Despite the small percentage of the population enlisted in the U.S. military, the membership of the five military branches is as varied as America itself. One-seventh of active duty is female, 25.4 percent of the active duty is a racial minority, 55 percent of active duty members are married, 90

percent of active duty members have a college degree or higher, and nearly half are between 22 and 30 years old. Members of the military come from all walks of life, all 50 states, all races, all income brackets and all religions. (Except for the Amish.) If the elite members of the military represent nearly every adult demographic in the United States, then it may also be assumed that approximately 10 percent of the military will consist of gay men and women. Nevertheless, supporters of DADT believe that the religious percentage of the military will be offended by the idea of serving with the gay percentage. But shouldn’t the military be offended by even the mere suggestion? Servicemen and women spend years away from their families, lose limbs in combat, suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and some even sacrifice their lives. Are supporters of DADT actually suggesting that members of the military — some of the most intelligent and talented people in the United States — are so fragile and delicate that they cannot bear to shower with a gay man or woman? As the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network points out on their website: “The Pentagon reports that 75 percent of young Americans are ineligible to serve in our military because of inadequate education, criminal records or weight problems ... And yet, qualified, smart, law-abiding and fit youths who want to serve are being excluded merely because of their sexual orientation.” Since enacting DADT in 1994, over 13,000 gay men and women have been discharged from the military. While this may seem like a drop in the bucket when compared to the 1.4 million members that are currently enlisted, some of these gay servicemen and women were high-ranked officers and translators. At a time when the country is still engaged in Afghanistan, has at least 50,000 troops remaining in Iraq, and is constantly threatened by both Iran and North Korea, can we afford to discharge talented, capable servicemen and women? The United States military is the best and most successful military in the world, but it can no longer afford the time (16 years), money ($363 million), and lives (13,000+) that have been wasted by the unnecessary policy of DADT. It’s not just bad for gay Americans. It’s bad for the country. Q Ryan Shattuck wrote “Revolutions for Fun and Profit,” at

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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 19


lambda lore Some Things That are True are Not Very Useful by Ben Williams


EFORE I BEGIN THIS COLUMN, I would like to thank LDS apostle Boyd K. Packer [BKP] for his service in the U.S. Army as a fighter pilot during World War II. Now with that out of the way, let me say

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that I didn’t pick this fight. Packer did. In 1993 BKP called me his enemy, and as far as I am concerned, declared war on me. I am not exaggerating, either. At a meeting of the “All Church Coordinating Council,” BKP warned of the dangers to the Mormon Church. He stated, “The dangers I speak of come from the gay-lesbian movement, the feminist movement (both of which are relatively new), and the everpresent challenge from the so-called scholars or intellectuals.” Now, I like to think of myself as all three, so to BKP I was a triple combination threat. While Packer’s message was directed at a “small and elite” group of church employees, it has reached a much larger audience over the following decades through constant publication and discussion on the Internet. The Mormon hierarchy has long had trouble with intellectualism. In 1945 the message was: “Any Latter-day Saint who denounces or opposes whether actively or otherwise, any plan or doctrine advocated by the prophets, seers, revelators of the church, is cultivating the spirit of apostasy. One cannot speak evil of the Lord’s anointed ... and retain the holy spirit in his heart. This sort of game is Satan’s favorite pastime, and he has practiced it to believing souls since Adam. He [Satan] wins a great victory when he can get members of

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20 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

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the church to speak against their leaders and to do their own thinking. “When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan — it is God’s Plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give directions, it should mark the end of controversy, God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God.” Similarly, Mormon President Harold B. Lee once told church educators, “You must decide now which way you face. Either you represent the teachers and students and champion their causes or you represent the Brethren who appointed you.” But BKP’s 1993 speech was not simply harmless rhetoric. His views have resulted in the excommunication of prominent Mormon intellectuals including gay LDS historian Dr. Michael Quinn. In the following decades the Mormon Church has also supported successful ballot initiatives to limit gay rights in California, Alaska and Hawaii. In 2004, the church endorsed a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in Utah. Packer, in 1983, claimed that “a testimony is found in the bearing of it.” In effect, he taught that if you don’t know whether something is true, you should just bear your testimony of it anyway, as if you knew it, and eventually you will come to find that you do ‘know’ it. In psychology, this is known as brainwashing. In reality, it’s just plain hypocrisy. BKP has evidently repeated over and over again that being gay is somehow a threat to his church and now he “knows it.” Two years earlier in his speech “The Mantle is Far, Far Greater Than the Intellect,” delivered at the 5th Annual Church Educational System Religious Educators’ Symposium, BKP told us exactly what he thinks of the truth: “Some things that are true are not very useful.” He then goes on to discuss his view that historians who publish controversial items deserve to be punished. Packer told his audience that accurate history can be “faith destroying,” and LDS historians must promote faith over facts. “In the Church we are not neutral. We are one-sided,” he said. “There is a war going on and we are engaged in it. It is the war between good and evil, and we are belligerents defending the good. We are therefore obliged to give preference to and protect all that is represented in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we have made covenants

to do it.” This is also known as the doctrine called “Lying for the Lord.” Now, why should we care what a petty octogenarian homophobe has to say today? Because, unfortunately, many people in this state will use his words to justify their own homophobia. It’s certainly happened before. In a General Conference sermon in 1976, BKP discouraged teenage boys from masturbating by calling their sex organs “little factories.” “As you move closer to manhood, this little factory will sometimes produce an oversupply of this substance. The Lord has provided a way for that to be released. It will happen without any help or without any resistance from you.” In this same talk his call to resist gay sex was more provocative when he encouraged young men to physically assault missionary companions who showed a sexual interest in them: “I repeat, very plainly, physical mischief with another man is forbidden. It is forbidden by the Lord. There are some men who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts. If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that, it is time to vigorously resist. While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. I was very worried because he just could not get himself to tell me what he had done. After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, “I hit my companion.” “Oh, is that all,” I said in great relief. “But I floored him,” he said. After learning a little more, my response was, “Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn’t be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way.” I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself.” As BKP aged, his histrionic became more shrill. At the LDS Church’s 160th Semi-annual General Conference, Boyd K. Packer attacked gay people again, likening their love to incest and child molestation. He blasted those in the medical and psychiatric professions who justify homosexuality by saying, “ these impulses are inborn, cannot be overcome and should not be resisted.” He continued to rant, “They quote scripture to justify perverted acts between consenting adults. That same logic would justify incest or the molesting of little children of either gender.” BKP was called to be a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles 40 years ago. Forty years has not filled his heart with love and compassion for his fellow man. Now, next in the line of succession to the LDS Prophet, he is as belligerent as ever toward gays. We must remember that Packer is a man for whom the truth is utterly expendable. He councils Mormons to lie about their testimonies until they have one. He is a hater of intellectuals and feminists. He has counseled LDS members to marry only their own race. And worst of all, he ordered the excommunication of Michael Quinn, the greatest gay Mormon historian. Q

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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 21


Espiritu Santo by Marty Beaudet


nly gradually did he

recognize that he was not lying on the cold, hard stone of a lightless dungeon. And his hands were not tied behind his back. He’d only dreamt that. But the numbness in his right arm was not a dream. He’d been using it for a pillow and it had gone to sleep. When he raised his head, letting the blood flow once again into his unfeeling limb, the throbbing between his temples revealed itself to be every bit as real as the numbness. A lead weight seemed to roll from one side of his head to the other. He returned his head gently to the pillow and waited for the pounding to stop. Early morning light stained the room’s dark, heavy curtains, but failed to illuminate the interior. Only muted sounds stole through the windows from the awakening city outside. He was in his own apartment, in his own bed. The fetterdecke was partially thrown back and… he was naked! Was he still dreaming after all? He never slept in the nude. Just then he thought he heard something — a shuffling in the dark. The creak of floorboards; footsteps coming closer. Before he could be certain, a hand touched his shoulder and he started in fright. “Sorry,” whispered a voice. It was Jassim! To Kevin’s astonishment the Kuwaiti, also naked, slipped into bed next to him. As Jassim wrapped his arms around him, a sudden mix of horror, bewilderment, and — most frightening of all — ecstasy washed over Kevin. This was no dream! The memory of the previous evening came flooding back with a brutal clarity that paralyzed him with fear. Did it really happen? They had gone to dinner together at a cozy local joint called Espiritu Santo. Jassim had quipped, “‘Holy Spirit’ seems like a good place for a little Mormon angel to fall from grace.” Kevin thought the remark had been made only in jest, but it was all too accurate. The events that followed were as a fulfillment of prophecy. Kevin had agreed to try his first alcoholic beverage last night. In Vienna, friends spent an inordinate amount of time — often an entire afternoon or evening — at either a bar or café, socializing over alcohol or coffee. He’d never thought about it before leaving his insular Mormon culture back home, but the world outside the Church seemed to run on caffeine and alcohol. When people got together after work, they went out for a drink. When they met for an afternoon chat, it was over a cup of coffee. How curious, he thought, that beverages played such a significant role in people’s lives. What was the Mormon alternative? Milk and cookies? The ubiquitous red punch that flowed at every church function? Pop, punch, cookies, ice cream, Jell-O, fudge, pie, cake, s’mores, Rice Krispie treats; no church social event was ever without these things. Maybe sugar was the Saints’ drug of choice. And, he rationalized further, if the Word of Wisdom was meant to be a “health code,” as the Church taught, how much unhealthier could an occasional beer or coffee be than a steady diet of sugar? Was it really such a big deal? Could Heaven or Hell really revolve around something as trivial as one’s choice of beverage? So, despite some lingering misgivings, he’d accepted the half-liter of beer that Jassim ordered for him. It was a

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Weißbier, because, Jassim said, wheat beer was smoother and more flavorful than a Pilsner. It would go down easier, he had assured him. Jassim watched with an amused grin as Kevin braced himself for his first sip. Kevin couldn’t deny that the wheat beer had “flavor” as Jassim had said. But he wasn’t sure that was the same as tasting good. It took a little getting used to. Still, it was less bitter and did go down a heck of a lot easier than the sip of Budweiser he had stolen on a dare from classmates when he was twelve years old. At least he told himself it did. After all, that was nearly ten years ago. What Kevin hadn’t been prepared for was how quickly he began to feel light-headed and giddy. By the time the half-liter glass was half empty, the noisy buzz of the tiny restaurant had already receded to a distant hum. Only Jassim’s face was in focus; the rest was a blur. His features became curiously sharper, his voice warmer and more sincere. Even what he was saying became more earnest, more important, and rife with significance. Kevin wasn’t sure if Jassim’s drinking, or his own, was responsible for this phenomenon. He tried to assess the situation objectively, but found it difficult to keep his thoughts focused. A second beer followed. It went down much more easily. In fact, it actually tasted good. Or at least he thought it did. It was like a warm, magical nectar that opened up his mind and made his thoughts clearer and more intense. And then there was wine with dinner. Kevin protested that, or did he? He’d meant to, anyway. One glass? Two? He had no idea really. After that he was only vaguely aware of his surroundings. He thought he recalled two — or was it three — trips to a restroom behind some velvet curtains. By the time they finished dessert, he was completely dependent on Jassim to get him home. He remembered now feeling a mix of guilt and exhilaration at his own decadence. He was researching an acting role, he had reminded himself, until it no longer mattered. Somehow this gave him the permission he needed to give himself over entirely to the new sensations he was experiencing. All of his strict Mormon inhibitions had floated away on a river of alcohol. When they reached his apartment, he suddenly grew afraid. The warm fuzzies he’d reveled in earlier were beginning to subside, replaced by growing dizziness and lurking paranoia. He begged Jassim not to leave him there alone, insisting that he stay a while — at least until he was feeling better. It hadn’t occurred to him that it was already past midnight and that Jassim might be needing sleep as well. But Jassim agreed without hesitation. He was so kind, so caring. Kevin found his warm smile and boyish laughter comforting. As Jassim helped him up the stairs, his touch seemed somehow electric, sending a tingling up and down Kevin’s spine. Once inside, Jassim led Kevin to the edge of his bed, sat him down, and helped him out of his jacket. Now Kevin remembered the night more clearly. It hadn’t seemed real. His inebriated brain had processed

the event in slow motion. A brush of soft, warm lips against his own. A warm breath of wine enveloping him. Was Jassim kissing him? Kevin had started to protest, but Jassim had put a finger to his lips hushing him, “Ssss, Ruhe, mein Kleiner” — Quiet, my little one. Kevin had then closed his eyes and felt the back of Jassim’s fingers, still cold from the chill night air, stroke his cheek, the hand coming to rest at the back of his head, tousling his hair. Kevin remembered feeling a flood of tangled emotions, but in his drunken state he hadn’t been sure just which ones they were. Whatever he felt, it was not enough to compel him to move beyond Jassim’s grasp. Before he knew it they were kissing and embracing again, this time with more fervor. Helpless, he felt his own tongue yield to Jassim’s. Panic threatened as he realized that he was getting an erection. After that Jassim laid Kevin back on the unmade bed,

as his tongue began to gently probe the corners of Kevin’s mouth. Kevin continued to yield to him, as though he hadn’t an inhibition in the world. He was too confused, and drunk, to protest. He wanted to cry. Maybe he did. But he wasn’t sure whether it was from fear or exhilaration. Jassim pulled back just inches from Kevin’s face and the two stared into each other’s eyes for several moments, not speaking. Then Jassim leaned forward, gave each of his drooping eyelids a soft kiss, and rolled onto the bed beside him. By then Kevin’s mind was awash with a torrent of muddy thoughts. Was it togetherness or abandonment that he feared? As if in answer to this unspoken question, Kevin felt a sudden, almost primal need to hold Jassim. He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, pressing himself against Jassim’s firm, compact body. It seemed a perfect fit, as though two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle had been happily reunited. He rested his head on Jassim’s shoulder and… that was the last thing he could remember. Q This story is an excerpt from Beaudet’s book, By a Thread, available at

She‘s in the Band By Stephanie Novak


he first time I saw her,

I knew I wanted her. Her short, shaggy blond hair fell lightly over her eyes, which were downcast and focused on her guitar. I was at One World Coffee with a few of my friends, but that fact quickly became irrelevant when she took the stage with her soft, smoky voice and the haunting notes of her guitar. So I did what I always do. I pursued her. It wasn’t all that hard. At the end of her set, she revealed her name. Lynn Casey. I didn’t talk to her afterward. The first rule of any successful conquest is to learn about the person. So I did. I went to a few of her shows. I even ran into her purely by accident at Whole Foods. Not everyone can pull off a Whole Foods uniform like she could. At her next show, I approached her. She had opened for another band, and it was just her on a dark stage, the shadows surrounding her form. The place was a dive, and the noise of the bar was louder than her music, which annoyed me. It always does. It’s amazing how people don’t appreciate art the way they should. People get so wrapped up in the everyday, in their shitty jobs, in their problems, in their immediate desires that they completely forget about the little stuff. About the art that makes the world a better place. Sometimes it sucks being a writer because I don’t know that my work will ever really be appreciated. Lynn was on fire, as usual. She stood proud on the stage and played to those of us who were listening. I was quickly lost once again in her rhythms. I felt myself slipping away, replaced by the pure feeling of falling into the music. All I could feel were the precise strokes of her guitar, the notes; I was the music. It almost hurt when she finished. She finished and started to carry her equipment offstage — which consisted of a guitar and a small amp. I fell into step with her. “Can I help you?” She looked over, met my eyes, and stopped in surprise. “No, but thanks.” “You sure? I could carry something for you.” “I really don’t have all that much. Thanks though.” She shifted the bag resting on her shoulders and looked ready to go. “Well, can I walk with you?” She hesitated, shrugged and then nodded. I kept up with her, enjoying the feeling of her presence. She didn’t say anything, so finally I told her I enjoyed her music.

The Arrival by David Grodsky

and I asked what is this joy that suddenly finds me here it shines like the sun it’s warm like the sun yet there is the sun faded like the moon in daylight so I looked around to find what it could be and found no one near but you

She gave a short answer in return. It was quickly apparent that her gift for lyrics and performance didn’t translate into conversational abilities. “I’ve seen you before,” I told her. We were outside of the venue. The weather was still warm enough to walk comfortably outside in T-shirts, even though it was eleven at night. Summer had its advantages. “Have you really?” Lynn asked. She unlocked her truck, a durable looking white Ford, and pressed a lever. The front seat came forward and she put her guitar behind it. “Have you been stalking me?” She pushed the seat back and turned to look at me. “Come to think of it, I think I have seen you before.” “I’ve happened to be at a few of your shows. You’re a great musician.” “I think I’ve seen you somewhere else though.” She leaned back against her truck and crossed her arms. She looked at me and then said, “I know! I ran into you at my work. You are stalking me.” “I’m not, really.” I answered, smiling. “How does shopping at Whole Foods make me a stalker?” “Fine,” she answered. She slammed her truck door shut, and asked, “Well. You want a beer?” Who was I to say no to the offer? We went back into the bar. Lynn ordered beers for both of us. She handed me a bottle of Landshark, and then took a swig of her own. “So how long have you been playing?” I put my beer down on the counter and focused on her. Her shaggy blond hair was in disarray, and she looked a little weary, like it had been a long day. Her black Blondie T-shirt had seen better days, as had her jeans. Both were well worn. She ran a hand through her untamed hair as if she knew I’d noticed and shrugged again. “A long time.” “Oh come on, how long?” I encouraged. “I got my first guitar when I was 18.” She finally answered. She looked into the distance of the dusky venue and said, “So you never did tell me what your name is, stranger.” I couldn’t help from grinning wickedly. “Oh, didn’t I? It must have slipped my mind.” I took the beer and took a drink. Landshark is one of the only beers I drink. It’s smooth and goes down easily. The liquid ran down my throat, the bottle was cold against my palm. “There’s a common saying that you shouldn’t trust a person who doesn’t tell you her name.” Lynn answered. She wasn’t giving up. I liked that. “Is that so?” I bit my lip and then responded, “Well, what makes my name important? Why would you want to know it?” She took another drink of her beer and looked away, again. She shrugged. She seemed uncomfortable. Finally, she managed to mumble, “I like knowing who I’m talking to.” It wasn’t the best response I could have hoped for. Lynn was definitely not very good at flirting. But that was cute. Endearing, even. “I’m Emily. I’m also you’re biggest fan.” “Ha, you mean stalker.” Her eyes met mine again, a small twinkle in them. She appraised my clothes — a white, sleeveless T-shirt with gray-blue jeans that fit just right — and then continued, “Anyway, you’d have a long way to go if you really wanna be my biggest fan. Because I’ve got bigger.” “Right.” I answered. We fell into silence, one that was somehow both awkward and comfortable at the same time. “This band sucks.” Lynn finally said. “I can’t believe I opened for them. I wouldn’t let them open for me.” I looked at the stage. The three band members looked ill at ease with their instruments, the singer’s voice was

mumbled, and words were getting lost in translation. “They are pretty bad,” I agreed. I looked at her. “Wanna get outta here?” She shrugged. “Sure. Where do you want to go?” We ended up sitting outside on the patio of One World Coffee, where I had first seen Lynn Casey. As we sat there and discussed activism, music and the qualities of good coffee, I knew I had her. Her eyes were intent on learning more about me and I couldn’t help noticing how often her head bowed as if embarrassed by the attention I showed her. I grinned. I’d done it. Of course, reaching a goal is not an end—after all, you never know what will happen once you’ve gotten there. But I looked forward to our road. Q

One Thing On Our Minds Colleen Mewing

The curtains separated by the breeze cast shadows on our nakedness as you begged me, “Please...” I moved to kiss your lips not daring to let go. We sank forever deeper and I moaned, “I love you so!” The morning sun shone brightly the curtains lay listless at my side no time to sleep, no place to hide all night long we had one thing on our minds.

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Sins of the Father by Shauna Brock


nd God spoke unto

Abraham ... ” came a voice once booming and angry but now seeming tired and resigned to the world his god had placed before him. “Offer up to me your only son. I wonder what he would have done, Abraham that is, if he’d had to offer up both.” Reverend Thomas Gadling stood in the doorway, an actor in the proscenium arch. The show was almost over for the good preacher, Marc realized. His hair, once as black as Marc’s, was white and brittle. His eyes, once fiery with passion, were a dull green, almost gray. His skin held the hue of

the old – pale even under the olive complexion that father and son shared. Marc saw his father and, for a moment, saw a future he would never have. He would never be as old as his father was now. “Or should I be quoting from the passage of the prodigal son? Only, you see, my sons return more than once and they keep coming back and they keep leaving. They don’t know what they want.” The Reverend paused, scrutinizing his son with eyes that could still reduce Marc to fear. “What is it you want, boy?” Marc found himself unable to speak. The Reverend changed the subject. “How is my grandson?” “He’s good.” “Good.” The word was soft. “Good.” Slowly, moving as if arthritis and age had finally caught up to him, Reverend Gadling took slow steps toward the couch and settled onto it. For his part, Marc stared at the black and white image of his parents on their wedding day. Bile rose in his throat as he stared at the image of the father he held in such disregard and the woman he still worshipped. “You still have this up. Even after all these years.” “Despite what you and your brother might think, I loved your mother. I still do. I cherish her memory and no, if you are curious, I don’t think God gave her cancer as punishment for her sins.” “Why did you tell us that he did?”

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“Because I was an angry man, Marc. My world was being taken from me and I had no idea how to raise two boys on my own. Because I am a sinner.” Marc swallowed his anger. Did he think he could so easily ignore all the years of hate heaped upon his two sons? Did he think with a simple admission of something that all Christians were supposed to believe that Marc would suddenly forgive him and kneel at his feet, begging his own forgiveness for sins wrought upon the Gadling name? What would happen now? Now, when he revealed his own illness, would his father lash out in anger and say that he deserved this? “You?” “Don’t act surprised, Marc. You know what a sinner I am.” Marc didn’t bother to conceal his sudden flash of anger. “Does that mean you’re sorry for what you’ve said? What you’ve done? What I know you’re going to say in the future?” “No.” The single, bold statement hung in the air between the two men. Marc stared at him for a long moment. “Well, at least I can give you points for honesty.” “Marc ... ” his father sighed and took a long, slow sip of the drink in his hand. “I can’t expect you to understand.” “I understand that I am your son.” “I can’t expect you to understand where I’m coming from. And I can’t try to understand you.” Reverend Gadling repeated. “I don’t even want to. You’re a grown man and you don’t need to come crawling back to your daddy for love.” A long sigh escaped the man on the couch. “Marc, sit down. I’m tired of looking up at you. Say what it is you’re going to say.” Marc moved to sit opposite his father. He stared for a long time at the silver rim of the coke can before taking a breath and looking up. “Dad, I’m sick.” The words just came out. No pretense, no hedging. It wasn’t worth it to draw it out, to make either of them wait. Slowly, Reverend Gadling sat forward. “Sick. What do you mean, sick?” “I have AIDS.” For a long moment, Reverend Gadling closed his eyes, breathing in and out. Once. Twice. Three times. Marc waited. Wondering. Watching. He recited prayers in his head. One Hail Mary. Three Our Fathers. Finally, Thomas spoke. “No son of mine ... ” “Yes. Your son.” Marc stared at his father. “I’m sick, Dad.” “I see. So it’s true then. That this thing, this HIV, this AIDS, it’s meant only for you gays?” “No, Dad. No. I just got it because at some point in the last few years I was stupid.” “How did this happen?” “I don’t know, Dad.” “Drug use?” “I’m clean, Dad. I’ve been clean for years. But I wanted you to know about this before the story broke.” “At least you gave me that dignity.” “What about my dignity, Dad?” “What about it, Marc? Answer that honestly. What about it? What about those years you spent in a near coma from your drug addiction and your drinking? What about that time you spent running around, half out of your head? The groupies and the gossip? What about your son, Marc? Have you no dignity left to give to him? What legacy are your sins going to leave him with?” Marc was struck by the lack of anger in his father’s voice. There was only solemnity, a resignation. “I have what I have, Dad. And sometimes, it’s all that I’ve got. I’m not proud of a lot of things I’ve done in my life, but it’s my life. I’ve made my choices.” “What about Luke, Marc.” Again, he avoided the question. “Dad, I could live a

long time.” “And you could be hit by a bus tomorrow. What about Luke? You just fought a custody battle. You just gave him a sense of stability but now you are giving him a father who is going to die! Is that fair to him?” “Living with me while he watches me die is still a better life than sticking him with his mother.” “Do you truly believe that?” “I do!” “What about Luke, Marc?” Came the question a third time. “Who gets him when you die? What about Luke?” The repetition of the question was not lost on Marc. He sighed and dropped his head, wondering if the carpet would give him the answers he needed. “I’ve already broken his heart, Dad. What more can I do to him?” “You can die on him.” The words stayed in the air, floating between the two men with a truth neither wanted to formally acknowledge. Marc’s eyes drifted back to the wedding portrait on the piano. Had he ever recovered from his mother’s death? “You know what that is going to do to him.” His father’s words were tight; forced. Suddenly Marc wondered if his father had ever recovered from his mother’s death. Dropping his head under the weight of the realization, Marc felt his body tremble. “I know.” But his father’s next words stunned him more than anything else his father had ever said. “You never recovered from your mother’s death. Do you think Luke is going to recover from watching you die?” The quiet acknowledgment broke a hole through Marc’s last wall. “Dad ... ” Reverend Gadling sighed and sat up, matching his son’s pose. He stared long and hard at the amber liquid in his glass before raising it to his lips and finishing off the drink in one swallow. “No son of mine,” he repeated, his voice suddenly thick. “A father should never outlive his son. I only hope I die before you do. Even with this plague God has granted you, I hope I die before you. A father should never outlive his son.” Marc stared at him, dumbfounded. “No matter what you think of me, Marc, I love you. I always have. I hate your life. I hate what you have become. I hate that the devil has a hold of your soul. But you are my son and I’ll be damned before I outlive you. I’ll be damned if the devil drags your soul to hell.” “You can’t control that, Dad.” Marc choked on the words, more from realizing that now he had something in common with his father more than the overwhelming emotion he felt in this moment. “You can’t control if I get hit by a bus tomorrow.” “You’re going to get better, Marc.” “There’s no cure by Buck Patton for this, Dad. Not yet.” Silent expressions, “I’m not watching on white-painted faces, you die.” smiling, frowning, screaming. “You might not Trapped, in their own minds, have a choice, Dad.” in an invisible room “I know.” He we cannot enter. sighed and moved They look at me, back to the couch. pleading, crying “Talk to me, Marc. for me to free them. About anything but this.” Q They want out,

The Mimes

Sins of the Father is an excerpt from Shadows in the Spotlight (as yet unpublished.)

but they are trapped, struggling to breathe. They reach toward me, but I cannot help them. I, too, am trapped.

Stallion Warriors by Brian D. Beckstead


ichard was pacing back

and forth in front of the two Apostles. Looking them in the eyes as he passed by them. “Now, tell me again, why you two snuck off without your bodyguards, knowing full well how dangerous this situation is today?” He was trying to be as diplomatic as he could. He would pause and put his hands on his hips, then continue to pace. All the while, his active mind imagined what it would have been like to be having the same conversation with any of the early Apostles. Elder Palmer smiled and reached out and patted Richard on his thin lanky frame. “We’re okay Brother Trumane. No harm no foul. It’s a beautiful day, and we just wanted to take a walk. Everything’s going to be fine, son. God watches out for us.” Encumbered and hot under his white shirt, Richard turned and faced him. “No, really? I know he does. They are in the form of men who carry weapons to protect your back sides.” Richard snapped back, with a large dose of sarcasm. Elder Briggs, who is a close friend of Richard’s, loved the astonished look on Elder Palmer’s face, so much that he burst into a short fit of laughter. The two aging, whitehaired Apostles seemed almost oblivious to the danger that could have been wrought up on them. Richard was not amused as he took in a deep breath. “With all due respect, Brethren, this is not a laughing matter. Right now, one of my men is lying dead on the roof of the temple, with a gun shot to the back, which went out of his chest leaving a hole the size of my fist. We have a sniper taking shots at firefighters battling a fire on the west side, and you two are behaving like little boys!” Richard shouted at the two Prophets as he momentarily lost his temper. Elder Briggs face grew concerned immediately. “I’m sorry Brother Trumane. We had no idea how it was this serious.” Elder Morris and the five security agents were sprinting toward them. Without hesitation, Richard got between the two Apostles and softly grabbed them by their arms. “Elder Morris, will you take them to the safe house and here, cover them with these until they are out of plain sight.” He opened two black umbrellas and put them in their hands. “I don’t want anyone to see them. Under-

stood?” Morris acknowledged with a nod of his head, and didn’t say a word. He knew better than to argue, or justify his team’s mistake with his mentor. Richard pointed his index finger towards them. “I’ll deal with you five later! There is no excuse for this kind of dumbassery!” Noticing the way they looked at him, Richard pointed toward the street and yelled, “Go! I’ll explain that word to you later, and whatever you do, don’t let these two men out of your sight.” The five security men surrounded the Elders and whisked them off. Morris followed after Richard, who was heading back to his office. The task was not easy since Richard has long legs and Morris had to do double time with his short stubs to keep up. After what seemed like an eternity, Richard finally broke the awkward silence, “What went wrong Ted?” Richard demanded as he stopped and faced the new director of security. He never addressed anyone in church authority by their first names. It was a matter of respect. Elder Morris gasped for air, “I don’t know. We have gone through several scenarios, including one just like this, and have never had a problem, until now.” Richard started to walk again. “Now is not the time to have a problem. This is not a drill, damn it! There’s a sniper out there, possibly two, and what if they wanted to take out two leaders of the church, with me standing in the middle of them?” Richard said arms flailing. “This will not happen again. Period!” The young Morris didn’t argue. More sirens were blasting away in the distance. “Did you tell Elder Briggs about his grandson?” Morris asked almost snide quickly realizing he was taunting his mentor and knowing he should have kept his mouth shut. The question threw Richard. Nobody knew about Jason’s death. The local authorities had not been called, as of yet. Richard had just been told in the last thirty minutes about the incident, himself, and he found it unsettling that the man he was training to direct church security had the same information so quickly. “How do you know about the Briggs boy?” Morris started to back peddle recognizing he had indeed, said something wrong and possibly out of line, but he trusted Richard. He had no choice but to trust him. Richard eyeballed the fidgeting man as beads of sweat formed on his upper lip. “Come with me, Ted. We need to discuss this in private.” Elder Morris swallowed hard as his short legs continued to try and keep up with his longer framed mentor. Q This is an excerpt from Beckstead’s book, The Stallion Warriors.

Yia Yia Knows Best by Christopher Katis

Neeek? Yes, Yia yia? Why for you no date nice Grik gurl? I’m not dating anyone right now. They lot nice Grik gurls at tchoortch. I’m sure there are. You comb with me Sonday. I introdoosh you. I’m not about to let my grandmother parade me around to a bunch of women at church like a piece of meat! Pieza meat! Ho, ho! You beeg stoad. Stud. Stoad. Sophia Mavrolakis has nice grandoteh. She a lil big, but nice. Yia yia, agapo anthres. Ha! You say rong. You say, “I love men.” Yia yia, I said it right. I said what I meant to. Oh…OOOOOH! (Silence) Neeek? Why for you no date nice Grik boy?

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 27


The Post Script

“You know,” Jim continued, “I really liked the one of roses in the blue vase. It was ... what do you say? ... avant garde?” “I liked that one too, very much.” She looked down at the card again and imagined writing a note that said:

By Christopher Katis


he first summer

Ode to My Beard by Brandon Burt

Dame Fashion decreed that a fellow’s chin Must be plucked and shaved and buzzed, For there is nothing better than A face devoid of fuzz. But I prefer a face replete With whiskers and vibrissae, And yet I keep them trimmed and neat, For I am still a sissy.

Scott was back from Wharton, he had met Carlos, a strikingly Dear Carlos, handsome, Cuban-born artist. Thank you for inviting us After they dated for several weeks, Scott to the exhibit opening. We had decided it was time Carlos met his parents. a lovely time. Jim was overby John Kippen So he invited Jim and Nancy to a new exwhelmed by how much your Pander jumps hibit opening of Carlos’ work at a wellpaintings sell for, and I am imInto a pile of leaves known local gallery. pressed by your command of the They dissipate They really didn’t know what to expect. English language. In red and gold. They knew very little about Carlos beyond Best, his profession and place of birth. Privately, Jim and Nancy Surely there is some magic here. the night before the opening, Jim and Nancy had let their P.S. Thanks for not being a communist. Leaves float gently worst fears be known to one another. Before they fell asleep, She laughed at herself and instead wrote: Back to earth the parents had painted their youngest son’s boyfriend as a Crisp cool feel of fall. Dear Carlos, beret-wearing, Che Guevera-idolizing communist, who deThank you for inviting us to the exhibit opening. Your nounced American values and condemned the middle class work is simply beautiful! Jim and I both very much liked as bourgeois imperialists. many of your pieces, but agreed the roses in the vase was Apparently, they had forgotten Scott’s retelling of how, at our favorite. age 5, Carlos and his family crammed onto a small flotilla of by Justin Munday We hope you’ll join us for dinner one day soon. rafts and cast themselves into the sea, drifting for days until Best, they were rescued off the coast of Florida. Nor did it occur On an evening such as this Jim and Nancy to them that a communist was rather unlikely to become enHow could I have missed amored of an investment banker — the capitalist’s capitalist. What she did next was so out of character, so unlike her A face so simple sweet? During the exhibit, it became clear that the real Carlos that it jolted her to the very core of her being. Nancy opened On an evening such as this greatly exceeded Jim and Nancy’s expectations. He was the card, and at the end of the note jotted: When everything’s amiss charming and amusing, and – oh! – he was so handsome in P.S. Thanks for not being a communist. Q How could I dismiss his gray Armani suit and cream-colored, tailored silk shirt. A countenance so neat? Perhaps more pleasing, he really was an artist; his paintings “The Post Script” is taken from a larger piece currently in progress. were breathtakingly beautiful. When all the light begins to fade The next day, Nancy sat down to write Carlos a When all the devils come out to play thank you card. Technically, they had been Scott’s When whores of foolish girls are made guests, but she still thought it was a nice gesture. by Jacques Jozwicki I will look into your eyes and say In her thank you notes, Nancy liked to cite a On an evening such as this Wandering eyes look upon you, wondering where you’ve been. specific reason that she (or Jim) enjoyed the gift: How could I have missed Trying hard not to jude you, trying to imagine. “That shade of blue is Jim’s favorite color;” or Such beauty that does persist? A world of peace, and lack of hate, a world that each man holds his fate. “Those cream puffs were yummy! I’ll have to get So much so Some people thing of wrong & right, some people hurt you out of spite. the recipe.” She felt this showed the gift-giver that That my heart begins to ahce and twist When did love turn into hate? When did people begin to create, the card wasn’t a generic “thank you” but rather When I look at you. a force of loathing, stirring inside. Coming from their own lack of pride. that she (or Jim) appreciated the specifics of the When will soeone bring love again? Instead of wondering where it’s been. gift or kind gesture. On an evening such as this I sit and think of far off lands, where one can turn around and stand. She sat staring at the blank card, the pen Give me your hand, I do insist Proud and true of who he is, not scared to love from where he live. clenched gently between her teeth, pointing up toThat you shall not be able to resist Their hurtful looks and judgemental words, are often the last thing some have heard. wards the ceiling at an angle. It must have looked, My eyes Who are they to judge ourlife? To think we’d choose this path of strife. she thought, like one of those old-fashioned cigaMy smile One of these days, they will feel our pain, and not even their pride shall remain. rette holders favored by FDR or Cruella de Vil. My passionate kiss. Just keep your head high, and pay no attention. Really, Jim hadn’t given her much to work with. Continue to fight, against their love prevention! On the drive back from the gallery, he simply

Pander Jumps

An Evening Such as This

Path Of Strife

gushed his enthusiasm for Carlos. He was very impressed by the young man, particularly the asking prices of his paintings. “Did you see how much he wanted for the one of the old lady dancing? Twelve grand,” he said before giving her a chance to answer. “And the guys fixing the fishing net was eight thou. Eight thousand,” he nodded at her. “The kid was getting those prices too, did you see all the red stickers? That means the picture was sold, right?” Nancy enjoyed the gossipy tone of their conversation and she nodded enthusiastically. “I couldn’t get over how perfect his English is,” she added. “I mean, my Nanna Hilda lived her for over 65 years and she always had an accent, but he spoke like you or I do.”

28 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

In the Giving of Submission by David Yancey

Boys who strike poses and boys who like roses amongst the coded coldness have been called all wrong. Simplicity in believing I am looking for and seeing an end to this binary being. More than ones and zeros soft tones and the fears of do you see what I am feeling?

Well kept amongst these colors folded scarves, love of mothers do you think that we could have a new society with some sad self deprecated beings allowed to love without all this fighting? What qualities in the dark are men allowed to have in their heart? Some softness receiving, giving love through sighs of submission. Without shame or heartbreak keeping separate lives and friends lies to wives and selves. Where will this end?


gay agenda

Ingrid Michaelson See Oct. 26

What Kinda Homo Are You? by Tony Hobday

107.9 The Mix broadcasts a weekly Thursday night segment called The Gayborhood between about 8 and 9:30 p.m. (I say “about” because it’s on gay time.) Anyhoo, Jake Your Booty and Curious George discuss, with callers, such hard-hitting topics as should gay guys really ever perm their hair, and do jeans look better bedazzled or not. So, I was a guest on it last week — mind you I’ve never been on the radio before — and we were determining “what kind of gay or lesbian” is each caller. We had a tranny twink, a lipstick lesbian and a high school coach lesbian. Plus, I perceptively determined that the hot host, Wes, is a total closet-case gay ... ooolala!


FRIDAY — If you happen to think LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS is Michael’s underwear drawer, you’re not only mistaken, you also obviously don’t know he doesn’t wear skivvies unless his mama comes over. Isn’t he a sweet boy? Anyhoo, the South Jordan Community Theater brings this classic musical to the Utah stage. 7pm, through Nov. 1, South Jordan Community Center, 10775 Redwood Rd. Tickets $9,


SATURDAY — Local fashion designers Keith Bryce, McKell Maddox, Jordan Halversen, Rachael Domingo, Rebekah McKinney and Krista Nielson will premiere their exclusive lines at the ART MEETS FASHION 2010 event. There will be a live fashion photo-shoot, fashion art installations from SLCC Fashion Institute and an eclectic mix of performance art and entertainment. The evening will also offer exquisite tasting stations from fine local restaurants and beverage purveyors. Proceeds benefit the Human Rights Campaign and the Salt Lake Art Center. 6pm, Salt Lake Art Center, 20 S. West Temple. Tickets $35–50, 801-355-ARTS or Q Romance and tragedy ... well, duh! ... unfold in Bohemian Paris as Utah Opera presents LA BOHÈME, one of the most popular operas of all time. Handsome poet falls in love with flirtatious seamstress, who is fatally ill ... need I say more?! However, it is a fabulous opera, check it out! 7:30pm, through Oct. 22, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $30–85, 801-355-ARTS or

Q Crafting upbeat, cheerful rock and roll tunes, JP, CHRISSIE AND THE FAIRGROUND BOYS crank out catchy choruses and infectious vibes. The band’s, featuring The Pretender’s Chrissie Hynde, debut album Fidelity tells the story of two people who fall in love but realize their future is doomed by a 30-year age gap. 7pm, Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City. Tickets $18–65, 435-655-3114 or


TUESDAY — In honor of our Literary Issue ... and because sometimes books are just more pleasurable than sex, I encourage you all to take part in the Utah Humanities Council’s annual BOOK FESTIVAL. Featured authors, poets and special guests include Treat Williams, Katherine Coles, Tess Gerritsen, 30 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

George Handley, Amy Irvine, Patrick Madden and many, many more!. Hours vary, through Oct. 23, Salt Lake Main Library, 210 E. 400 South. Free,


THURSDAY — Local artist Trevor Southey gives prominence to four life passages that have defined Southey’s character and art, in the exhibit RECONCILIATION: his youth in Rhodesia and education in England; his life as a married, practicing Mormon and his desire for a utopian lifestyle created around family, farming, and art; Southey’s decision to acknowledge his homosexuality in 1982, which coincided with the first major public awareness of the AIDS epidemic; and the reconciliation of his life decisions as expressed in his revised artistic approach to the human form. Hours vary, through Feb. 13, Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Dr., UofU. Tickets $5–7, 801-581-7332 or Q Pygmalion Productions Theatre Company presents the world premiere of THE COMING ICE AGE by Deseret News reporter Elaine Jarvik. It’s about downsizing from the family home into a “senior citizen” setting. It explores how some people get stuck, and others can move on. It is a gentle, charming, yet provocative and funny show about aging. 7:30pm, through Nov. 6, Black Box Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets, 20, 801-355-ARTS or

the courtroom testimonies during its 1957 obscenity trial. This is a great film that stars the I-want-a-piece-of-that, James Franco. Hours vary, Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. 300 South. Tickets $6–8.50, 801-746-0288 or


SATURDAY — Historic 25th Street will come alive with bewitching fun during Ogden’s first WITCHSTOCK. The festivities include a parade of witches, a scavenger hunt, ghost tours, magicians, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” dance lessons ... this is reason enough to go!, palm readers, fortune tellers, street performers and more. Attendees who go dressed in costume will be eligible to win prizes in various contests. 3–10pm, Historic 25th Street and Union Station, Ogden. Free, except for The Witches Tea Party ($20) and the Witches and Warlocks Twilight Morp ($10), 801-393-9890.


MONDAY — The Westminster College campus ART CRAWL is a collaborative event showcasing the work of Westminster faculty, staff, and alumni. There will be opening receptions at four locations on campus, featuring gourmet food and beverages. Don’t miss this opportunity to explore the beautiful campus on a fall evening, and mingle with members of the college and surrounding community. 6-8pm opening reception, through Nov. 23, Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East. Free, for more info contact cdasanjh@

Q Celebrate Halloween at GARDEN AFTER DARK: HAUNTED HOLIDAYS AROUND THE WORLD, a unique celebration of different cultures and traditions from around the globe. Learn about Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico while decorating your own skeleton mask or mix up an Eastern European potion after hearing about Romani gypsy groups. Other activities include pumpkin painting, spook alley, face painting and storytelling. 6–9pm, through Oct. 30. Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way. Tickets $6–8, 801-585-0556 or




FRIDAY — Co-directors/screenwriters Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman of Sundance Film Festival’s smash-hit HOWL beautifully and creatively weave three aspects to the film: how Ginsberg’s life experiences led to the writing of Howl, an animated telling of the poem while being read by Ginsberg in a smoked-filled room to other counterculture beatniks, and

TUESDAY — Thirty-year-old sing-songwriter from Staten Island, N.Y., INGRID MICHAELSON, returns to the Utah stage. Her indie pop/folk music has been gaining momentum since her debut album in 2005. And please, the woman plays the ukulele ... that’s freakin’ hot! Guggenheim Grotto will also perform.

7pm, In The Venue, 219 S. 600 West. Tickets $16/adv–20/day of show, 801-467-8499 or

NOV 2 NOV 15 NOV 17 DEC 8 DEC 12 APR 11

Lady Antebellum, Rail Event Ctr Lifehouse, In The Venue Brandon Flowers (of The Killers), The Depot Jay Brannan, Urban Lounge Jeffree Star, The Complex Lily Tomlin, Kingsbury Hall

save the date

bk review The Meaning of Matthew

October 16 sWerve’s Halloween Bash October 16–20 Living With AIDS Conference October 18–22 UofU Pride Week November 6 Big Gay Fun Bus to West Wendover,

November 20

Transgender Day of Remembrance November 25 Thanksgiving Dinners at the Utah Pride Center, Club TryAngles and The Trapp December 1 World AIDS Day December 4 Big Gay Fun Bus to West Wendover, December 10–11 Salt Lake Men’s Choir Christmas Concert

, January 5–9, 2011

Utah Gay & Lesbian Ski Week, Park City January 20–30, 2011 Sundance Film Festival, Park City February 18–20, 2011 QUAC Ski-N-Swim August 20, 2011 Equality Utah Allies Dinner

by Judy Shepard

review by Tony Hobday


F YOU, LIKE I, CANNOT think of the name Matthew Shepard without waves of emotion swirling through you, then the mere consideration of picking up Judy Shepard’s 2009 memoir The Meaning of Matthew will be, like for me, a difficult one. But once I had, I was captivated, and obviously emotional throughout the entire read. From the first page of the first chapter, Judy paints a hard-pressed, honest portrait of the real Matthew “Matt” Shepard, which takes his immortal status and adds what was his very mortal nature, down to the smallest details — “Matt was a horrible driver, and the last thing we wanted to do was to put him behind the wheel in Denver.” Such details about Matthew, plus Judy’s deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings that she reveals in the book, offer a stronger sense of the Shepard family than so many of us had learned through the news stories and the movie adaptations on Matthew’s horrific death. To recount, Matthew, a 21-year-old college student, was severely beaten by two men and tied to a fence post, left for dead on the night of Oct. 8, 1998 on a rural road in Laramie, Wyo. Matthew had died four days later in a hospital bed, never regaining consciousness. Matthew’s sexual orientation was the defining motive behind his death. Matthew’s untimely demise has been instrumental, to this day, in redefining hate crimes law across the country to include sexual orientation. Judy, courageously and eloquently, sheds a new and more accurate light on the all-too-short life of Matthew: From her and her husband’s whirlwind

courtship, to Matthew’s premature birth and subsequent ailments, to Matthew’s post traumatic stress disorder (brought on after being raped at age 15) and subsequent reckless behavior. “I’m not sure that Dennis and I believed Matt as much as we tried to take him at his word. It always seemed like there was something standing in the way of his recuperation. ... Whether he knew it or not, Matt sometimes stood in his own way.” Judy also gallantly revisits the chain of events of that fateful night, the four days leading to Matthew’s passing and the prosecution of Matthew’s assailants. Nineteen hours after receiving the call from the hospital, Matthew’s parents, who were living in Saudi Arabia at the time of his attack, finally had reached his bedside. “What we found in the neurological ICU that day was a motionless, unconscious young man ... His face was swollen and covered in stitches. We couldn’t tell if it really was Matt. ... But as we approached the bed, Dennis and I saw that this was indeed our precious son. We could tell by the cute little bump on the top of his left ear. One of his eyes was partially open, too, and we could see its clear blue color.” Also, while at the hospital, the Shepard’s had learned that Matthew was HIV positive. “I hate to say this, as a mother, but I don’t think I would have been a compassionate parent if I’d found out about his HIV status under normal circumstances. I would have been angry and disappointed that Matt hadn’t been more careful.” Matthew Wayne Shepard slipped away at 12:53 a.m., Monday, Oct. 12. And another four days

later, with widespread media coverage, one of the highest attended memorial services was held in Casper, Wyo. “I was — and continue to be — thankful for every prayer extended in Matt’s and our family’s direction. But when all that interest ultimately manifested itself in protests outside the memorial service, a guest list and tickets just to make sure my family members and loved ones could get a seat in the sanctuary,a SWAT team, and Dennis in a bulletproof vest, it was overwhelming and scary.” It took just over a year for both of Matthew’s attackers to be tried for their crimes; the results — each were tried separately — turned out the same. But in the case against Aaron McKinney, the man who actually murdered Matthew, a full trial proceeding had taken place. McKinney’s defense: “Not of sound mind ... couldn’t be held responsible for his own decisions.” Also, the defense even argued that McKinney went into “gay panic,” which “alleges that a suspect in a murder case was rendered violently and temporarily insane as a result of same-sex sexual advances.” Matthew Shepard was murdered 12 years ago, this month. His story, his legacy, still thrive in the hearts and minds of thousands of people. But as hate crimes continue to plague this country, as revealed in the several recent suicides brought on by bullying — which I consider a hate crime — I am grateful for the daring and emotionally painful work that Judy Shepard is doing for the LGBT community, including putting such difficult and memorable words on paper, as yet another reminder of our continuing plight. Q

Live Music, Dancers, Artisits, Storytellers, Food, Childrens’ Art Yard Workshops, , Jewish Book Fair & the “Jews Rock” photo exhibit ññ ó

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 3 1


The Ambitiously Gay Duo Howl filmmakers on James Franco’s latest gay role, working together and the movie’s controversy by Chris Azzopardi


LLEN GINSBERG’S 1956 LANDMARK POEM Howl would become an influential and controversial part of the “Beat Generation” — and years later, give James Franco yet another reason to play gay. In the eponymous film adaptation, directing duo Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman (The Celluloid Closet, Common Threads) stray from documentaries to zero in on Ginsberg’s literary manifesto, focusing on the bard’s coming-to-terms with being gay while simultaneously recreating the resulting obscenity trial protesting his polarizing poem. The filmmakers took a few minutes to discuss Franco’s turn as the gay icon — and why he’s not too hot for the role.

agreed to executive produce. So we started talking about casting and he said, “You should talk to James; he’s really interesting.” So we did. And he was! (Laughs) CA: James has obviously mastered the art of playing gay, so what kind of direction did you give him? JF: We actually had a lot of time to work with him, because he came on very early — before we had financing — and he was really into the project. He was very interested in the beats — he knew the poetry and he was very committed to the role, so he came to San Francisco and worked with us, and we worked with him in New York.

what Allen Ginsberg looked like at age 30, and there are similar physical characteristics, so it’s not that far off. We pushed out (Franco’s) ears a bit — that’s the only prosthetic work, and the rest is just makeup and hair dye and performance. CA: Such a big part of the film are the visual aspects, those animated interpretations of the poem. How did you develop those? JF: We discovered the work of Eric Drooker, who had collaborated with Ginsberg on a book of poems called Illuminated Poems, published shortly before Allen died. Eric was a younger artist and graphic novelist who lived in the neighbor-

Chris Azzopardi: You’ve been making films together for over 20 years. What makes this relationship work? Rob Epstein: How does our relationship work? Because we can’t answer that question! If we did, it would all fall apart (laughs). Jeffrey Friedman: We complement each other in a lot of ways, but I couldn’t begin to define what those are exactly. We bounce ideas off each other, and we’ve found a way of working together creatively where what we come up with together is more interesting than what either of us might come up with on our own. CA: Why did you use Ginsberg’s Howl as the stimulus for this film? RE: The starting part was Ginsberg, and we were interested in doing something about this particular moment in his life, which seemed to be so formative and such a golden moment. We were creatively excited about the challenge of coming up with a concept that would feel unique and different in the way that the poem was in its time. We really set out to find a cinematic contemporary equivalent to that approach; and then thematically, the poem itself is just so rich with so many different themes and so much significant content, so just getting to the meat of the poem also excited us. JF: I was excited about the idea of a cultural phenomenon that had actually changed the culture. Howl, in some ways, was the beginning of all of the counterculture moments that came through the next decades, and it was all fermenting in this small group of sexy, young poets in the ’50s, which is kind of a really cool notion. CA: How did James Franco’s name come up? RE: Gus (Van Sant) suggested James. Gus was filming Milk at the time, and he’d read the (Howl) script and liked it and 32 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

RE: A lot of the work we did together before we got to the point of shooting the movie was getting at the pain behind a lot of the words that Allen was speaking. A lot of that experience wasn’t necessarily close to James’ experience, so he really had to understand what was going on with the character, who felt at that point in his life — up until he got to the point where he was liberated enough to write Howl — very isolated and very lonely; and all his experiences with love and sex were unrequited. So, in that sense, we did a lot of work with James. CA: Some of the talk surrounding Howl is whether James Franco is too hot to play Ginsberg. Was that ever a concern? RE: Well, we knew he could act Ginsberg — he’s such a great actor — so the physicalization was kind of the last thing we dealt with. In one of the screen tests, we put on the big Ginsberg glasses; just even doing that, he started to personify him. But so much of what he captures about the personality of Ginsberg is in his performance, and after seeing what James did with the James Dean role on television — he gave that performance so much depth — we knew he could do something similar with Ginsberg. Also, most people aren’t familiar with

hood in New York where Allen lived for most of his life, so they knew each other for years. It felt like a collaboration that had already begun; we were just taking it one step further. CA: Why was that a direction you wanted to go in? RE: We wanted the poem to live in the movie. We wanted the audience to have a cinematic experience of the poem, and we wanted it to be in the present tense. I mean, we wanted everything — even though it’s a historical film, a historical drama and, in a sense, a historical documentary — to all play in the present tense, including the poem and the animation. We felt it was a way to have a modern interpretation of the poem in a kind of contemporary vernacular; but we could still have it reference the period that it’s speaking to and still also speak to the period that we’re in now; so that was our thinking. It seems to be the element of the film that has the most controversy to it. The fact that people are responding to it in different ways is good because that’s how people responded to the poem, and still do. CA: Why do you think there’s so much controversy around the animation?

RE: People have their own visualization and their own mind’s eye, and it’s probably not unlike if one were to do a movie of a novel — that if you read a novel and you’re having your own experience of it and you see a particular interpretation of it, that may not be the interpretation you imagined. CA: Ginsberg’s partners in the movies are interestingly disengaged; they have no speaking lines. Was that a conscious decision? RE: You know, sometimes the decisions you make are conscious because you have to work within the means that you have, and we had 14 shooting days. There are only so many

speaking parts that the budget will allow, but we also like the notion that these three men who were so important to him in his life — and are all manifested in the poem — are only expressed as physical characters in the movie. They all have a very physical connection to Allen in the movie, but it’s not spelled out in any kind of articulated dialogue. JF: I think we thought consciously about making it feel like Allen’s memory, and using the style of films from the black-and-white period. RE: Pull My Daisy was one, which was a beat film (from 1959) with Ginsberg that has no dialogue.

Ginsberg believed in complete confession and, as he says in the poem, in showing his “asshole to the world.” Would you agree? JF: I believe in complete frankness. But I don’t know if I need to show my asshole to the world! I don’t know if the world really cares about my asshole (laughs). CA: Care to show yours to the world, Rob? RE: No. I’m much too shy a person. But I certainly get the point. And in the way it applies to art, it’s a good aspiration. Q Howl opens Oct. 22 at Broadway Centre Cinemas, 111 E. Broadway.

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 33


restaurant review Mazza by Chef Drew Ellsworth


AST MONDAY NIGHT I WENT to Mazza restaurant in Salt Lake City’s 9th and 9th neighborhood. (There is another Mazza in the 15th and 15th area) I have known the owner Ali for some time and he is a customer of mine at the Wine Store. I have several Lebanese wine offerings at the store, and I’m quite a fan of these affordable wines, which pair well with Middle Eastern food. I took two of my students from Ecole Dijon to Mazza — Sally Hoffman and Melisa Geneaux. We had a lot of fun and really enjoyed the evening. Let me tell you about it. Mazza is on a prime corner in 9th and 9th neighborhood, and its welcoming feel, décor and ambiance are very, very nice. Ali has com-

bined contemporary styles with Middle Eastern accents in a tasteful way. Sometimes, I think, restaurants with a very distinct theme tend to overdue the decorating, but not here. As for the food itself, Mazza was a nice surprise, and I ate several things I had never tasted before. We asked our waitress to bring us three authentic appetizers we could all share. She brought us some potatoes “harra,” which are sautéed or perhaps oven-cooked with garlic, spices and olive oil. I thought they were a little dark in color, but that may be the way they eat them in Lebanon. Overall, they were tasty and quite unusual as an appetizer. We also had two “dips” served with excellent homemade flatbread. Hummus, the house favorite, was white, lemony and delicious. It was so much creamier than the one I make, I almost thought it had been passed through a sieve. We had another dip called Mahamra which we all just adored. I’ll quote from the menu to tell you what is in it. “This traditional Aleppan dip is made with walnuts, pomegranate molasses, toasted bread crumbs, olive oil, roasted bell peppers & spices,

Try our wild coconut, curried wild rice

2148 Highland Drive


3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010



ground to a paste and served with lettuce leaves.” like a pita pocket. But they both enjoyed their selections. We were all delighted at the thought of Then it was time for dessert, which we all spreading the Mahamra on romaine lettuce. It’s enjoyed. The pastries we had were very Greek so rare when I taste something so entirely new. in nature — or, maybe the Greeks stole their The Mahamra on the crisp, fresh lettuce was by pastries from countries to the East. We so loved far the “cleanest” flavor of the night, and we all the filo dough cannoli with a custard-like filling thought it was awesome. that we ordered another one. The baklava was With our appetizers, Melisa and I had realso delicious and homemade. All the desserts quested a glass of the Kafra Rose du Chateau, we tasted were laced with syrup flavored with (the Wine Store carries this wine as a special order item). When we tasted it, Sally got a glass, orange-blossom water. Ali served us a beautitoo. It’s a European-style dry rose: delicious and ful, sort-of Lebanese crème brûlée — a light and light peach in color with a green apple finish. We creamy, pot-de-crème topped with a streusel made from tiny vermicelli. This, again, was a loved it and it went well with our food choices. totally new experience for me. Our waitress said there were a few falafel But you know, I have to say, after visiting balls left so we tasted those also. Falafel are some of the best dining places in Salt Lake City, veggie meatballs that are made from a batter of that I was disappointed with the presentation of chic peas (or garbanzo beans, as we call them the food at Mazza. And, like I said, I thought the in the United States) and are deep fried (I have fried items we had were too dark and, again, it prepared them myself in the past). Although may be that these fried foods are truly like this these were nicely made, again, I thought they were a bit dark and over cooked. Falafel is usuin the Lebanese tradition, but I would have liked ally served in a pita pocket and topped with a them to be more golden in color and cooked less yogurt/dill/cucumber sauce. time in the oil. I then ordered the Lamb Dolaa, Also, the art of plating is so MAZZA which is braised lamb taken from important now. The lamb, although 912 E 900 South the shoulder part for its leaner cut perfectly prepared, was not plated Mo-Sa 11a-3p, 5-10p and flavor. The lamb is then slowin an appetizing manner. It just 1515 S 1500 East cooked in a mixture of nine differlooked like a large plate of brown Mo-Sa 11a-10p ent spices and served on a bed rice and shredded lamb with little DREW’S SCORE: 88 of rice cooked in lamb broth. The or no art shown in how it went todish is then garnished with fried gether. The Lamb Dolaa costs $18, pine nuts and almonds and served with a side so I really think Mazza could step it up a notch of cucumber-yogurt sauce. I really liked all the with the presentation. flavors of this dish, but I have to say, there was As a chef, I really want Ali to know that I liked really no attention to the appearance or the plat- the cuisine and this dining experience, but I ing of such nice food. The lamb was tender but a wish the dishes I’ve mentioned could be more bit dry and looked a little lonely and misplaced artfully presented and that some of the flavors on top of the rice — but I loved the crunchy could be updated with some fresh ideas. I’m not almonds! There was also a small amount of the saying Mazza needs to go more “Western,” but traditional cucumber dressing on the plate and I would be happier if some of the dishes were serving was ample. I was full from eating it. fresher, brighter, crisper and more beautiful to Melisa and Sally had chosen “sandwich” look at. items which, as it turned out, were something In looking at the menu, I realize that there are I would have wanted more for lunch. Melisa’s many, many dishes I would like to try at Mazza, dish was more like a panini with toppings like so I hope to do a re-visit in the next few months. fresh tomatoes, and Sally’s choice was more I give Mazza a rating of 88. Q


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1700 SOUTH 389 WEST, SLC 801-483-2254 Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 35

dining guide Frida Bistro Sophisticated Mexican cuisine, wine and spirits 545 W. 700 South 801-983-6692 Loco Lizard Cantina Serious mexican food since 1999 at Kimball Junction. 1612 Ute Blvd., Park City 435-645-7000 Metropolitan Handcrafted new American cooking 173 W Broadway 801-364-3472

Off Trax Internet Café Coffee, wi-fi and pool 259 W 900 South 801-364-4307 Omar’s Rawtopia Restaurant Organic live food 2148 S. Highland Dr. 801-486-0332 Sage’s Cafe The freshest and healthiest cuisine possible 473 E 300 South 801-322-3790

Tin Angel Cafe Local food, music, art. Serving lunch, dinner and Saturday brunch 365 W 400 South 801-328-4155 Trolley Wing Company We’re Back! Open daily noon to 11pm 550 S 700 East 801-538-0745 Vertical Diner Vegetarian restaurant open seven days a week 10 a.m.–9 p.m. 2280 S West Temple 801-484-8378

Looking for the

Perfect Handyman?

By the community For the community


cocktail chaer They Hate Me. They Really Hate Me! By Ed Sikov


WAS TRYING NOT TO TAKE it personally. Really. OK, I was taking it personally. Why else had they all called to say they’d be at the house in time for dinner on Friday but no earlier? Therefore no cocktail hour(s). I admit it: I’m an out-of-control control freak. I was making a perfect meal: Bobby Flay’s barbecued salmon; Israeli couscous, which I was spiffing up with saffron and grill-roasted red peppers; and a salad (from a bag — I can be lazy about salads). We would start with Pernod from the freezer, and dessert would be a delightfully thick and creamy drink made to order. Then it hit me: They were avoiding what I claimed was that week’s “cocktail du weekend!” I’d stupidly sent out an e-mail claiming that I’d found an obscure drink recipe and would be making it on Friday. It was called the Booger. It was, of course, repulsive: half part banana liqueur, half part coconut rum and half part Midori. As if this combo wasn’t wretched enough, The Booger is topped off with Baileys Irish Cream. Shake with ice. Strain. Drink. Vomit. Bogus Boogers drove them away! The puppies, Robbie and Kyle, both said they were meeting friends for drinks at low tea (wasn’t I their friend?). Craig preferred Top o’ the Pines; he was meeting Paolo there for martinis. Even Dan said he was stopping at BarHarbor for a Campari and soda before coming home. Did none of them have a sense of humor? At least Kyle apologized before bailing on me. Dan arrived around 8:30. “Where are the snot shots?” He asked pleasantly. A growl was my reply. He turned away from me toward the stairs, and I lost it. “Do you really think I’d make that shit?” I barked. His face took on that stricken look he gets when I bawl him

out for something he doesn’t understand. Then I felt guilty. “It was just a joke, sweetie. A bad joke. You know me. Would I ever make a Booger?” “You just might,” he said, “as some sort of revenge.” The other guys staggered in around 9:30, all totally plastered. The barbecued salmon was gummy. The couscous clumped. Only the salad was any good, and that was because it was still in the bag. I was seething. We ate in silence. The puppies were too drunk to talk; Craig was too caught up in his food; Paolo was visibly frightened of me and my temper; and Dan knew he was already on thin ice. We both hated dinners like this; we called them “Night of the Living Drunks.” So I refused to make the “cocktail du weekend.” The Brandy Alexanders would have to wait.”

We called them ‘Night of the Living Drunks’

The Brandy Alexander It’s strictly a dessert drink. Never order one before dinner, or everyone will think you’re too young to know any better or, if you’re over 30, you simply have god-awful taste. 2 parts brandy ½ part dark creme de cacao ½ part or more heavy cream Nutmeg (optional) Mix brandy, creme de cacao and cream in a shaker filled with ice. Put on top and cap and shake, shake, shake — create some froth. Strain into a martini glass and sprinkle a little nutmeg on top. I’m the type who keeps whole nutmeg in a glass jar and uses a little nutmeg grater; McCormick’s is almost as good, though not nearly as pretentious. Q

Ed Sikov is the author of Dark Victory; The Life of Bette Davis and other books about films and filmmakers.

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bar map



Salt Lake City

E 600 N.

by Hunter Richardson

Temple Square

Gateway Mall

200 S

Salt Palace

300 W


Trax Line


100 S. 200 S.

Intermodal Hub


500 S

City Hall

300 W


900 W

600 W

V 300 S.

600 S

900 E


South Salt Lake City

Sugar House

Trax Station

Trax Line


1100 E

Trax Station

900 S

3300 S

300 W

captured by a few more established locations. That being said, I hope everyone will play nice and welcome something new. Not something big, not something trying to merely take “market share,” but a place that has brought a big city vibe to a small space and backed it up with the little details other places have missed. Best of luck, Quantum Ultralounge — although I must say, I seriously think every city in the United States has an “ultra lounge”bar/club; I know the name sounds enticing, but it has been done over and over. Regardless, I’m looking forward to Quantum’s future. Other than this new place, Salt Lake City’s nightlife scene is getting ready to hibernate (Once again let me restate: the place with covered parking will be the most popular — just saying), and I think our favorite places are nipping at each other’s heels trying to maintain “clientele.” Choice words are being used toward one another, so I reiterate: play nice. Pure, JAM, Edge, Babylon and the slew of others, you are all unique and we all know it, so don’t point it out as much. Want us to visit and frequent often? Then get creative! Somehow I was drawn to a Masquerade ball of all things, so I suggest thinking outside the box to draw people in. After all, it’s the people who make or break a place, so get imaginative, because regardless of the music, DJ or drag show, it comes down to where the friends are. Now how to get the friends to come? That’s a question above my paycheck. See you all out and about. Q

Trax Line


ANY GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING and more are yet to come. From the opening of the new Landis Salon in the Marmalade to a few new things rising up for evening adventures, there are positive events coming up. This past weekend I was fortunate enough to be invited to a new up-and-comer: The Quantum Ultralounge. This establishment surprised me. As I parked outside a cheap sushi restaurant, donned in my themed Masquerade mask for their grand opening and walked up to the rather unimpressive entrance, I thought to myself, “Well here we go. Glad I have options in case this doesn’t work out.” To my surprise, my judgement was wrong. The environment had a classy and sassy feel. I saw my friends, coworkers with friends, friends of friends, new friends and the ever necessary “enemy” or two. This place was an instant hot spot and I couldn’t help but sit back and enjoy the show. The VIP area was perfect — not too small, not too large and comfortable. It served its purpose as an elevated luxury suite worth retreating to once you felt like taking a break from mingling. I have been to many “opening nights” and I do my best to support the community. And for a guy who used to work in New York City and who’s visited many bars/clubs/ lounges across the globe, I was impressed by Quantum Ultralounge. I should definitely not have judged a book by its cover. I surely hope you will all welcome a new night at this place and spread your presence on a night predominantly

200 EAST

Q scene Surprises and Support

K 2100 S

P 3900 S


615 N 400 W • D M K X


251 W 900 S • D M N 801-364-3203 •











751 N 300 W • D F M N 801-891-1162 • 1051 E 2100 S • D M X 801-696-0639 •


3737 S State St • J K L 801-713-0648 •


615 W 100 South • D M 801-363-2200 •


201 E 300 South • K X 801-519-8800 •


102 S 600 West • B N D K M 801-531-8727 •





































Buffet at 4PM


3 8 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010





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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 39


Can I Have Your Number Across 1 Story of Greeks that busted some Trojans 6 All-night bash 10 She played with Sherman on The Jeffersons 15 Brando’s last one was in Paris 16 Zip 17 Standard of excellence 18 Charlize Theron’s Monster award 19 Patriot’s place 20 Suffix with Beatle 21 Edward Albee play of 1991 24 Saviors 25 Require a bottom? 29 Dines at home 34 Crowds around 35 Susan Feniger main dish 40 Otello villain 41 Jane Bowles novel of 1943 44 Muscle Mary’s pride 45 Sea food? 46 Last inning, usually 47 Preposition for Byron 48 Tempting location 49 Where to find, with “the” 50 “Our” in a crime name 53 Lip service? 56 Appropriate

57 Rita Mae Brown novel of 1978 61 Mate in Montreal 63 Abound (with) 65 Reserved 66 “___ ever so humble ...” 67 Peril for Patty Sheehan 68 Hard stuff in your mouth 69 Climactic start 70 Uses the tongue too much 71 Most in need of BenGay 71 Org. Down 1 Simpson trial judge Lance 1 Avoid premature ejaculation 3 Nothing to brag about 4 Tutti-frutti ingredient 5 The Sound of Music song 6 Takes five 7 Box to Vidal 8 “Grease” singer Frankie 9 ___ Gay 10 Brunch cocktail 11 Sandler of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry 11 Surrealist Magritte 13 Reclined 14 Home st. of Harper Lee 21 Conger catcher 23 Cart part 25 Respondents to 911 26 “___ lay me ...”

27 28 30 31 31 33 36 37 38 39 41 43 50 51 51 53 54 55 58 59 60 61 64 66

Choice piece of meat State with conviction Cleans (up) Samson et Dalila composer Response to a joke, with “it” Enjoy some ladyfingers, e.g. Winged goddess ___ the line (conformed) Queens do this Where to see sweaty athletes They have big mouths She got her gun Like a metrosexual Type of queen Nurses’ assistants Went down on a body part What a guy does nocturnally Use your butt to demonstrate Alien introduction Nicky, in “Funny Girl” See red Shaft output Soldier cops Ewe said it!



A cryptogram is a puzzle where one letter in the puzzle is substituted with another. For example: ECOLVGNCYXW YCR EQYIIRZNBZN YZU PSZ! Has the solution: CRYPTOGRAMS ARE CHALLENGING AND FUN! In the above example Es are all replaced by Cs. The puzzle is solved by recognizing letter patterns in words and successively substituting letters until the solution is reached. This week’s hint: I = C Theme: A quote by Cyndi Lauper on hate crimes and anti-bullying.


____ __ _______ ___ __ ____ __ _____ ___ ________ ____ _____ _________ __ ____. 4 0 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

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8 5 4 7 8 6 1 4 6 2

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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 4 1


Quni groups

Utah has a vibrant gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community with many organizations for nearly any activity or interest you may have. Try these organizations out. For corrections or additions, please email




American Civil Liberties Union

* . . 801-256-7137

Armed Forces Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-581-7890

LGBTQ-Affirmative Psychotherapists Guild of Utah A professional group for mental-health providers. We meet monthly to network, educate ourselves, and improve the counseling services of LGBTQ individuals.

National Organization for Women PO Box 57816, Murray . . 801-268-0363

Pride at Work, Utah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-531-6137

Q Business Alliance A guild of business owners, professionals, entrepreneurs and nonprofit organizations that holds social events on the first Friday of the month and business breakfasts on the third Friday of the month. . . . . . 801-649-6663

Salt Lake County Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Employees * . 801-273-6280

HEALTH & HIV Hermanos de Luna y Sol * 1408 S 1100 E . . . . . . . . . 801-487-2323

MediCruiser  Gay, lesbian, transgender friendly staff and providers. Low cost, high quality Medical Care. Testosterone & hormone therapy, HIV/STD, weight management, addiction treatment 1850 S 300 W, Ste A . . . . 801-484-5504

No. Utah HIV/AIDS Project Walk-Ins Welcome. Every other Monday 5–7pm 536 24th St, Ste 2B, Ogden .801-393-4153

People with AIDS Coalition of Utah  358 S 300 E . . . . . . . . . . . 801-484-2205

Planned Parenthood 654 S 900 E . . . . . . . . . . . .800-230-PLAN

 * . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-521-9862

Disability Law Center

* 205 N 400 W . . . . . . . . . . 800-662-9080

Equality Utah

 * Working for a fair & just Utah 175 W 200 S, Ste 3001 . . 801-355-3479

Human Rights Campaign, Utah  *

Log Cabin Republicans, Utah  *

Utah Stonewall Democrats

 455 S 300 E, Ste 301 . . . 801-328-1212 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-532-5330

RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL Affirmation Salt Lake

 Serves the needs of gay Mormon women and men, as well as bisexual and transgender LDS and their supportive family and friends, through social and educational activities. . . . 801-486-6977

Bountiful Community Church

 * 150 N 400 E, Btfl . . . . . . . 801-295-9439

Cache Valley Unitarian Universalists 596 E 900 N, Logan . . . . . .435-755-2888

Christ United Methodist

 2375 E 3300 S . . . . . . . . . 801-486-5473

First Baptist Church of SLC

 * Jesus didn’t discriminate and neither do we. Please join us. 777 S 1300 E . . . . . . . . . . 801-582-4921

HOMELESS SERVICES Center for Women and Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-261-9177

Homeless Youth Resource Center Youth ages 15-21. 655 S State St . . . . . . . . . 801-364-0744

The Road Home  210 Rio Grande St . . . . . . 801-359-4142 YWCA 322 E 300 S . . . . . . . . . . . 801-537-8600

Salt Lake Center for Spiritual Living 1111 Brickyard Rd Ste 202 . 801-307-0481

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 261 S 900 E . . . . . . . . . . . 801-322-5869 South Valley Unitarian Universalist Society  * An intentionally diverse religious community. You are welcome here, no matter your age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or gender identity. South Valley is the place where U can be U. 6876 S Highland Dr . . . . . . .801-944-9723

Unitarian Universalist Church Ogden 705 23rd St, Ogden . . . . . 801-394-3338

Wasatch Presbyterian Church  No matter who or where you are on your journey of faith, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ – you are welcome at Wasatch Presbyterian Church. Ours is a community committed to the nurture of Christian faith through worship, learning and service – and we hope to share our enthusiasm and care with you. 1626 S 1700 E . . . . . . . . . 801-487-7576

SOCIAL Alternative Garden Club  Meets 1st Weds at 7:30PM in Sugar House Park Garden Club Building

Bisexual Community Forum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .801-539-8800 ext 14 Meets the 2nd Thurs each month at 7pm in the Multi-purpose room at the Center.

Engendered Species  * . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-320-0551

Gamofites  . . . . . . . 801-444-3602

Gay Latter-day Saints 

Holladay United Church of Christ

 * 1408 S 1100 E . . . . . . . . . 801-487-2323

823 S 600 E . . . . . . . . . . . .801-595-0052

Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah

 610 S 200 E . . . . . . . . . . . 801-534-4666

Utah AIDS Foundation

Sacred Light of Christ

Gay and Lesbian Parents of Utah

* 569 S 1300 E . . . . . . . . . 801-582-8687

Salt Lake Valley Health Dept. — HIV/ STD Clinic

 375 Chipeta Way, Ste A . . 801-581-7234

2900 S State St . . . . . . . . . .801-359-1151

First Unitarian Church

Glory to God Community Church

University of Utah Department of Family and Preventative Medicine

Restoration Church of Jesus Christ

375 Harrison Blvd, Ogden .801-394-0204 2631 E Murray-Holladay Rd 801-277-2631


 PO Box 3131, Ogden, UT 84409 Kindly Gifts by Stitch & Bitch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-487-7008

Ogden OUTreach Resource Center

Inner Light Center

 705 23rd Street . . . . . . . . .801-686-4528


Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians & Gays

4408 S 500 E . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-268-1137 * St. James Church . . . . . . . 801-566-1311

LDS Reconciliation

 Activity Info Line. . . . . . . . 801-296-4797

Provo Community United Church of Christ

175 N University Ave, Provo 801-375-9115

Queer Spirit

* Men loving men, gathering together in loving and intimate ways to explore, dialog, enjoy, dream and celebrate the “who” and “what” we are in the broader community through weekend retreats, vision quests, monthly gatherings . . . . . . . 801-557-9203

42 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

 Ogden: 3rd Thursday, 705 E 23rd St * SLC: 1233 S 1000 E . . . . . 801-244-6423 * St. George: 823 Harrison *

Queer Village 

Queereads  Book club hosted by Sam Weller’s Bookstore and co-sponsored by the Utah Pride Center that discusses queer literature. 254 S Main St . . . . . . . . . 801-328-2586

qVinum Gay & Lesbian Wine Tasting Qroup  Fun and fabulous wine tasting club for gay and lesbian and other fabulous wine lovers. Monthly wine tastings at members’ homes. Join us – bring the wine of the month or some delicious yummy. Mix, mingle, slurp – but don’t spit. We’re not that kind of group.

Rainbow Classic Car Club Don R. Austin . . . . . . . . . . 801-485-9225

ROTC-SLC  * ROTC-Salt Lake City is a performancebased organization, centered in the lesbian and gay community. Men and women, straight and gay, we come together to form a modern-day color guard. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-261-3694

Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire  * SimplySocial  A group of gay men dedicated to building a vibrant community through friendship.

Southern Utah GLBT Community Center * . 435-313-GLBT 

Southern Utah Pride 

Strength In Numbers(Sin) SL  A social network for gay men living with HIV and AIDS.

sWerve 

UTAH BEAR ALLIANCE  * Social/service group for Bears, Cubs and their admirers. Check the web site for a calendar of our activities

Utah Families Coalition * . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-539-8800 Ext. 23

Utah Male Naturists  A social group for gay, bisexual and gaypositive men that holds nonsexual naked social and recreational events, including pool/hottub parties, cocktail parties, potlucks, movie nights and overnight campouts throughout the year. Guests are welcome at most events.

Utah Polyamory Society . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-309-7240  UtahPolyamorySociety 1st Friday of the month, 6:30pm, Utah Pride Center, 4th Sunday of the month at Grounds for Coffee/Clrfld

Utah Pride Center  * Community Events • Lending Library • Assembly Room • Support Groups • Resource & Referral • Utah Pride Organizers • Youth Activity Center 361 N 300 W . . . . . . . . . . 801-539-8800 Toll-free . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 888-874-2743

Utah Queer Events  UtahQueerEvents

SPORTS Frontrunners Utah. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

University of Utah Lesbian & Gay Student Union

Lambda Hiking Club 

University of Utah LGBT Resource Center


Mountain West Basketball League . . .801-598-3844

Mountain West Flag Football League

 . . . . . . . . . . 801-359-2544

Mountain West Volleyball League

 . . . . . . . . . . 773-301-5343

Northern Utah Women ROC

 OgdenOutdoorWomen Social organization of lesbian and straight women interested in walking, camping, festivals, cook outs, shows, skiing and creative workshops.

Pride Community Softball League

 * . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-539-8800 Ext 21

Salt Lake City Gay Athletic Association 


 * questions@ Utah’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight swimming team. All swimmers of any skill level welcome. See web site for swim schedule . . . . . . . . . 801-232-7961

Salt Lake Goodtimes Bowling League

 Sundays starting in August 801-832-9745

 200 S Central Campus Dr, Rm 409 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-587-7973

University of Utah Women’s Resource Center

 200 S Central Campus Dr, Rm 411 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 801-581-8030

Utah State University Pride Alliance 

Utah State University Gay and Lesbian Student Resource Center

(GLSRC) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 435-797-4297  *

Utah Valley State College Gay Straight Alliance  

Weber State University Gay Straight Alliance   *

YOUTH Homeless Youth Resource Center

Youth ages 15-21. 655 S State St . . . . . . . . . 801-364-0744

Ski Out Utah 

Gay LDS Young Adults 

Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah

TINT (Tolerant Intelligent Network of Teens)


Utah Gay and Lesbian Ski Week . . . .877-429-6368

Utah Gay Men’s Tennis Group utahgaymenstennis

Utah Gay Mountain Bike Riders utahgaymtnbike

UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE Delta Lambda Sappho Union

Weber State Univ. . . . . . . . .801-627-1639

Gay and at BYU

 gayandatBYU/ Gay-Straight Alliance Network 

Salt Lake Community College Coloring Outside the Lines . . . . . . .801-957-4562 *

Southern Utah University Pride 

The Utah Pride Center’s youth activity center provides a safe place for people ages 14-20 regardless of race, ethnicity, physical ability, religion, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation or identity. It provides social and support groups for GLBTQ youth and offers food, a big screen TV, video games, computers, a library, a pool table, and much more! Drop-in hours: Tuesday thru Friday 3pm-9pm, Saturday 5pm-9pm 355 N 300 W . . . . . . .801-539-8800 x14

Not Listed?

email with your organization name, url, address and/or phone number and a short paragraph on what your group does and when and where it meets.

anagram An anagram is a word or phrase that can be made using the letters from another word or phrase. Rearrange the letters below to answer:

Name SLAC’s production of this AIDS-themed “Gay Fantasia.”

CALAMARI ENGINES ______ __ _______

Western Transsexual Support Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 435-882-8136




Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 43

Q scopes Listen between the lines, Gemini By Jack Fertig

Mercury and the Sun lining up in Libra bring focus on relationships, but as they oppose Eris, a competitive streak comes out. Mars in Scorpio is the unlikely point of resolution, challenging you to make small adjustments that can lead to deep inner changes.


ARIES (March 20–April 19) Sex doesn’t solve all the problems in a relationship, but now it offers an interesting perspective on whatever the real problems are. Any secrets, resentments, unfulfilled wishes? Share yours and invite your partner to open up!


Looking for the


TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Your partner and colleagues are obstructing whatever you want to do. Or is that really it? Be responsible for your own accomplishments. While your partner’s feedback won’t make you happy, it will help you find answers.


GEMINI (May 21- June 20) Trying too hard to promote your own plans can provoke problems with colleagues. If you’re sensing hidden agendas, it may be due to your own pushiness. Have a good talk. Listen between the lines, but double-check any suspicions.

Plumber? y

CANCER (June 21- July 22) Keep the wicked fun at home where it belongs. Your creative challenge at work is to keep it clean, or at least appropriate. One step out of line will put you into somebody’s firing range.


LEO (July 23–August 22) Rude remarks about your family may be just thoughtless, not meant to offend. Don’t let them lure you into senseless arguments. Simple straightforward pride in who you are and where you come from doesn’t depend on what others think. Consider the source!


VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Can you keep a secret? Please do! While it may seem that openness can

By the community For the community

save you some money or get you a romantic adventure, letting kitty out of the bag can cost you a lot on both counts.


LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Be completely honest with your partner about finances. It will create some challenges, but those little problems are just necessary steps to solving big ones. Keeping up with the Joneses is just another jones. Take pride in your values, not your belongings.


SCORPIO (October 23–November 21) Worrying about your health is the biggest danger to your health, but getting a check-up “won’t hurt a bit.” (Oh, just spread ’em and breathe!) Your colleagues should be teammates, not competitors. Still, being alert for skullduggery isn’t necessarily paranoiac.


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 20) Worries and doubts inhibit your efforts at self-expression. Take that as a creative challenge to articulate the problems and dig deeper at what’s behind them. Friends’ insights are helpful. Even when they’re wrong, use the input as a springboard.


CAPRICORN (Dec. 21–January 19) Friends getting on your nerves are hitting buttons about frustrated ambitions, perhaps echoing parental expectations that have long jarred against your own real aims. Discuss that with your annoying pals to get clearer about what you really want to do.


AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18) Wanting to show off your brilliance, or prove that you’re right, is the surest way to get into trouble. Any argument should be an invitation to investigate the facts. That is ultimately the best way to get it right!


PISCES (February 19–March 19) Everybody wants a taste of you, but what and who do you really want? Think that one through, and don’t accept the first offer too quickly. Better yet, why wait to be asked? Have an open conversation with the one you desire.

Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977, is available for personal and business consultations in person in San Francisco, or online everywhere. He can be reached at 415-864-8302, through his website at, and by email at

We are a non-sexual social group for gay, bisexual and gay-friendly straight men that holds naked social and recreational events, including pool and hottub parties, cocktail parties, potlucks, movie nights and overnight campouts throughout the year. Guests are welcome at most events.

4 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 165 | Oc tober 1 4 , 2010

Affirmation Continued from page 10 in a doorway to sleep ... and a couple doors down there was another guy who I’d seen earlier. He was still there in morning. It turned out at that point that he was probably dead.” Throughout the day, Melson stayed in an area of a few blocks (Cole and Bisson were stationed elsewhere). There, he said he met two homeless straight couples with two children each, and three homeless teens — all of whom had been thrown out of LDS families. “At least two of them were the kind who had gotten good grades in school. They told their families they were gay and that night they were on the street,” said Melson. “That struck very close to home.” The homeless people he had met, Melson continued, often slept “in 20-minute shifts” in order to guard each other. He also soon learned that they had four ways to get food: “dumpster diving, panhandling, selling sex or selling drugs.” Cole said he experienced this firsthand. Although the majority of non-homeless people he approached ignored him, one man gave him an offer. “He offered me money for my time because he said he was lonely,” said Cole. “That’s how he put it, and I have a feeling we can all guess what the meaning was. I was directly propositioned and I told him no, I was not interested. I also sat there wondering after he finally left what my choice would’ve been if I’d been out there for three months needing not only food and shelter but human contact. I’m very glad I didn’t have to make that choice.” Unlike Melson, who spoke with several people, Cole said that he preferred to observe “what conditions were like on the streets in my area.” There, he noted that the homeless people he had met shared

Homeless Continued from page 11 “My personal purpose is to empower youth to go out and make a difference in your communities,” she wrote. “Whether you are queer or straight you can make a difference and help bridge the gap to create one community as opposed to two separate communities. It is time for change so come and join me in the quest to speak out, empower one another for a world where stigmas and stereotypes between the worlds no longer exist. Want the change, live the change, be the change.” In the first entry, dated Oct. 10, Oakason said she was prompted to start blogging by increasing media attention on bullying and bullying-related suicides of gay youth, at least nine of whom killed themselves in September. “I have found many people wondering,

their food and blankets. “I was amazed at the breadth and depth of kindness and compassion among homeless to other homeless,” he said. “When they were just talking to me, they were friendly, they were offering help on their own. It becomes a community that really looks after itself because they’re the only people they can begin to trust.” “Even though we knew what to expect and what would happen, emotionally it just brings you home,” said Melson. “You’re finding ways to get food and shelter and places to go to the bathroom, you’re thinking that for these 16 and 17-year-olds, it doesn’t have a definite time it’s going to end,” he said. “They have to do this day after day trying to stay alive. ... It must be absolutely terrifying.” So terrifying, said Cole, that he nearly had a breakdown in the first few hours. In order for anyone to help homeless people, he noted that they first must understand the psychological challenges they face — including fears of trusting people. “We need to keep them warm at night and get them food and ask nothing else from them. We need to build trust with them,” he said. “And after we have earned their trust I think they’ll ask what more they can get and we can offer more, ideally in terms of mental health and job training services, but we have to start with the basics.” “We have to help them do so much more with their lives,” he continued. “There’s a lot of potential out there, for these people who are so compassionate and caring.” To further help homeless queer youth, Melson said he wants to take the executive leadership of other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender organizations through this experience. Only this time, he’d like them to spend 72 hours on the street. “With that kind of leadership having that kind of experience, we know this is going to be pushed to the forefront of the LGBT agenda,” he said. Q “Why the sudden increase in LGBTQ suicide?” Oakason wrote. “The fact is that, the suicide rate is not increasing, however the coverage is and my hope is that we, as an American society, start realizing that there is in fact a problem.” Oakason encouraged youth to consider the impact of their words and actions, including making casual anti-gay slurs. She also encouraged youth being bullied or experiencing suicidal thoughts to talk to a trusted adult or the Trevor Project’s helpline if they don’t have such a person to confide in. “My e-mail is also open if you wish to just tell someone what is going on; however, I am not a trained professional and the extent of help I can provide is an e-mail back to let you know that I did in fact receive and read your e-mail, and depending on your personal situation and location, point you in the possible right direction for support in your communities,” she added.

Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 45

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the perils of petunia pap-smear The Tale of a Couch Potato Queen

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HE ROAD TO OAKDALE IS fraught with danger and excitement. The world has rotated 30 times since my last column appeared here in QSaltLake, and my soul is left with a gaping chasm of longing, homesickness and nostalgia. After more than half a century, As the World Turns aired its last episode during this last month, and now I’m able to give my television remote a much-needed rest. I am a television addict of the highest order. It all began when I was just a little princess and my mother would place me in front of the TV while she cleaned the house. I would sit there for hours without fussing. Having been raised in the potato fields of Idaho, it was only natural that I had grown up to be a couch potato extraordinaire. Our first TV was an ancient black and white set that, if left on for more than two hours at a time, it would overheat and blank out. Often at the worst times imaginable. On Friday nights during Nightmare Theater, just when Godzilla would be beating the crap out of Mothra and stomping on Tokyo, the TV would go off. It seems like I was an adult before I saw a Godzilla movie from beginning to end. When I was a teenager, we had bought a new, more modern TV. It was still a black and white set and did not have a remote, but it had a nifty push-button channel changer, so I could lay on the floor in front of it and change channels with my big toe. That technological advancement just left me as giddy as a school girl. Of course, there were only three channels to choose from.

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I would race home from school each afternoon to watch Dark Shadows and see what the vampire Barnabas Collins was up to. In hindsight, you could clearly tell I was going to grow up to be a queen by the shows I enjoyed. I was totally mesmerized watching Julia Child pounding the dickens out of a chicken; likewise, I was fascinated by watching Joann Castle play the honky-tonk piano on The Lawrence Welk Show. And for the pièce de rÊsistance, I begged to stay up past my bedtime every Saturday night until after the June Taylor dancers had performed on The Jackie Gleason Show. I loved when they would do a camera shot from above while all the dancers would lie on the floor and make kaleidoscopic designs. Of course, I had my childhood TV crushes. Major West on Lost In Space just gave me the vapors. Not to mention Robin in those tight tights on Batman. And we won’t even mention the Man from Atlantis! He was the stuff wet dreams are made of and the reason I took swimming lessons. As a princess-in-training, I was totally devoted to I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched and The Flying Nun. I’m sure I developed my keen fashion sense from Endora’s fabulousness, or was it all those over-the-top Bob Mackie costumes on The Carol Burnett Show? I still covet the curtain-rod dress Carol wore in Went With The Wind. And the very first time I attempted any kind of drag was when I tried to fly by constructing a Flying Nun’s habit out of cardboard, strapping it to my head during a stiff wind and jumping off the swing set in the Cryptogram: Hate is learned and we need to teach our children that being different is okay.

Anagram: Angels in America

back yard. I crashed to the ground in a most unladylike heap, spraining my ankle. I’m just lucky I didn’t break a nail. That truly would have been a great tragedy. I was the first one in my circle of friends to buy a VCR when they came on the market in the late 1970s. It was one of those huge old top-loading things that I purchased “used� from a video rental store for $350. It weighed a ton — even more than my makeup kit — and did not even have a remote control. Nevertheless, in order for me to be able to record “Who shot J.R.?� and watch Krystle Carrington and Alexis Colby have a catfight, any price was worth it. The advent of the DVR has made my addiction much more manageable. It is indeed the best invention since the Twinkie and more valuable than even glitter! I have made a hobby of trying to record most shows that include a gay story line or character. In order to accomplish this, it has become necessary to watch TV armed like Marshal Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke, with a weapon/remote in each hand ready to fire. I’ve had to become very quick on the draw of the pause button, in order to cut out the commercials. This is most challenging during soap operas because of the rapid change between story lines in each episode. After recording and editing the gay story line on As the World Turns for more than five years, I have amassed 64 hours of following the travails and adventures of Luke and Noah. I’m sure all that editing is the reason I have carpel tunnel syndrome. And that’s enough TV talk for now, because it’s time to record Desperate Housewives. See you next month, “same bat time, same bat channel!� Like always, these events leave us with many important questions: 1. Is the gripping of remotes the cause of carpel tunnel syndrome? 2. If I wiggle my nose like Samantha Stevens, will Gayle Ruzicka disappear? 3. If I had added glitter to my nun’s hat would it have flown? 4. Are Batman-style capes in vogue this season for the fashionable queen? 5. Do the Emmy awards have a category for Outstanding Couch Potato? These and other important questions to be answered in future chapters of “The Perils of Petunia Pap-Smear.� Q

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Oc tober 1 4 , 2010 | issue 165 | QSa lt L a k e | 47

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QSaltLake October 14, 2010 - Literary Issue  
QSaltLake October 14, 2010 - Literary Issue  

Utah's gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and ally magazine. Literary Issue