Q magazine v1i25 | May 10, 2018

Q

April 26, 2018

Outlanta Hosts GAYLAXICON 2018

inform | inspire

May 10, 2018

MOVES Q ueer Pros Define ATL Dance

Q ueer & Loathing OUR OWN BODIES Atlantans Work LGBTQ COSPLAY Love, Compromise & GETTING YOUR WAY

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Q News The Q Q Shots Queer Agenda

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Q

EDITOR’S NOTE

Fantastic

BEASTS

Q is where to find Atlanta’s queer characters every week

MAYBE IT’S A DEEPER SELF AWARENESS. Maybe it’s an undeniable otherness. Maybe it’s the interplay and subversion of traditional boundaries. The frequent combination of queerdom and creativity is a magic that manifests every day in every way across Atlanta, and once again in the profiles found in this week’s Q magazine.

We start with the latest stunning photo essay by frequent Q contributor Jon Dean. This time, he shoots and interviews local LGBTQ dancers and choreographers in what becomes a study of movement and light on the printed page. Let your eye dance over the pages as we get to know these smart, thoughtful, fierce, gorgeous beasts and their craft.

Speaking of thoughtful, fierce and gorgeous, the always whirring minds at OutlantaCon are ready MIKE FLEMING EDITOR & PUBLISHER for their annual close-up this weekend. The geek group’s 10th anniversary convention ups the ante on its sci-fi/fantasy/gaming/pop culture weekend this year by coinciding for the second time in its history with the international Gaylaxicon. That means more to love in our Events preview.

The cosplay alone will present untold fantastic queer beasts to the Atlanta landscape. 10 Queer Things digs deep into cons wide and varied, including OutlantaCons past, to offer inspirational looks for your costuming during the big weekend.

And as much as you love your partner(s), relationships can be a beast in queer life, too. In Q Voices, therapist Alexandra Tyler teaches the art of compromise to save you some heartache. She walks us through the difference between accommodating someone’s wishes and bending completely to their will.

For some of us, nothing is more beastly than our own bodies. That’s not just a shame but an outrage. The Q meets three beautiful queer ATLiens who need to reduce the stubborn fat between their ears much more than anyplace else.

Elsewhere on our pages, flip to find Q Shots photos, Q News, and the Q Agenda to catch you up to all that’s gay and good in the hood. Once you’ve digested it all, visit our home site Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com. That’s where the latest news, views and interviews can be found every day.

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theQatl.com

Q MAGAZINE THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION OF PROJECT Q ATLANTA PUBLISHERS INITIAL MEDIA, LLC MIKE FLEMING PUBLISHER & EDITOR MIKE@QMAGATLANTA.COM MATT HENNIE PUBLISHER & BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT MATT@QMAGATLANTA.COM RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & GENERAL MANAGER RICHARD@QMAGATLANTA.COM ADVERTISING SALES RUSS YOUNGBLOOD SENIOR SALES REPRESENTATIVE RUSS@QMAGATLANTA.COM ART DIRECTOR JOHN NAIL JOHN@QMAGATLANTA.COM PROJECT Q ATLANTA PATRICK SAUNDERS EDITOR PSAUNDERS@PROJECTQATLANTA.COM CONTRIBUTORS IAN ABER LAURA BACCUS BUCK C. COOKE BRAD GIBSON TAMEEKA L. HUNTER SUNNI JOHNSON ERIC PAULK VINCE SHIFFLETT DUSTIN SHRADER ALEXANDRA TYLER

DISCLAIMER The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors do not necessarily reflect opinions, beliefs or official policies of Q Magazine or its publisher Initial Media, except where individual publishers’ names specifically appear. Appearance of photos, credits, or names in this publication neither implies or explicitly states the sexual orientation or gender identity of its subject.

Q Magazine and the author of each article published on this web site owns his or her own words, except where explicitly credited otherwise. Articles herein may not be freely redistributed unless all of the following conditions are met. 1. The re-distributor is a non-commercial entity. 2. The redistributed article is not be sold for a profit, or included in any media or publication sold for a profit, without the express written consent of the author and this publication. 3. The article runs in full and unabridged. 4. The article runs prominently crediting both the author’s name and “courtesy Q Magazine.”

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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 1 ISSUE 25

MAY 10, 2018

10 QUEER THINGS Role Play

19

COVER STORY

10

Dance Fever

Queer Movers & Shakers NEWS

13

Out & Proud

31 Big Deck

Dekalb judge reveals he’s bisexual EVENTS

14

Con Games

33 Got Sprung

Geek fest OutlantaCon turns 10

FEATURES Q Voices

8

Queer Agenda

17

Q Shots

30

The Q

38

38

35 Seasons Greetings theQatl.com

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Q

Q VOICES

Accommodating vs.

BUCKLING

UNDER

Healthy compromise when you want to meet partners’ side of the argument AS A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL, I TEND TO SEE clients when they are in conflict. They seek me out when they have reached an impasse. My first three articles focused on getting out of those stuck places.

In discussions of personal rights and boundaries, people not taking responsibility for their emotions and actions, and people taking responsibility for the emotions and actions of others, we miss that in healthy relationships, compromise is key.

There are few things more beautiful than the loving, caring and giving that happens in healthy relationships. But to be healthy, it needs to be fully consensual, recognized and appreciated.

When both people acknowledge that giving something, out of love, that they would be fully within their rights to not give — that’s a gift. The appropriate response to a gift is gratitude.

Expressions of gratitude are important to feeling appreciated.

So here’s the key. If you have determined that you are within your rights, but you are feeling pressured to do something else, giving in to that is not healthy compromise.

If you are willing to do it, it is being recognized as a gift, and the other person is expressing gratitude for the gift. That is healthy compromise.

When both people acknowledge that giving something, out of love, that they would be fully within their rights to not give — that’s a gift. The appropriate response to a gift is gratitude.

To be perfectly clear, this kind of communication can be a real challenge, but it can also be a game changer in relationships with those you love. In future articles, I’ll address how to do the soul searching necessary in order to identify what you really want — and what you are willing to compromise without feeling resentment.

I also want to address boundaries in more detail, how to know when they are healthy, and how to defend them with kindness and compassion.

Fully consensual also means that it’s not a response to internal negative emotional pressures ALEXANDRA such as guilt or fear, and that it’s not in response T YLER, LCSW, CCH Once you have those tools, we can also go into to external negative pressures such as anger, manipulative and coercive behaviors in more demanipulation, emotional meltdowns or guilt tripping. Recogtail so that everyone can be armed with the knowledge that helps nized means that each person recognizes the “rightness” of each us identify when such negative behaviors are happening. person’s rights and boundaries, that they recognize their responsibilities to act ethically, and that they each take responsibility for I’ll also look into an arsenal of communication skills that help their own emotions and actions. people in relationships understand what is happening during arguments, and how to shift from arguing to constructive comWhen all is said and done, and a compromise is reached, it’s a munication. beautiful thing that enrichs, rather than divides, relationships.

That’s something to be celebrated and grateful for after the Alexandra Tyler is an LGBTQ, poly, kink, sex worker supportcompromise is met. ive mental health therapist in Atlanta. She specializes in treating Gratitude is the key to appreciating the gift of accommodations all parties make in relationships. Most of us know what it feels like to be taken for granted. And if you think about it, that’s the feeling of having the things you do for others not recognized and not appreciated.

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trauma/PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues and teaching relationship communication. Twitter @ATylerLCSW, Facebook @AlexandraTylerLCSW.CCH. Read her full columns, including real life stories from her practice as examples, on her website, CultivatingJoy. net. One-time reprint here and on theQatl.com with permission.

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Q

10 QUEER THINGS

PLAYING THE

PART Outlantacon/Gaylaxicon inspires queer fantasies for your Project Cosplay looks

By Mike Fleming

TAKE FLIGHT

AUTOMATON FOR THE PEOPLE

GIVE PAWS

300 REALNESS 10

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QUOTH THE RAVEN

ANIME-ZING

MUERTE-STEAMPUNK MASHUP DAMN THE TORPEDOES UM...THIS

HEROES & VILLAINS theQatl.com

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Q NEWS Q

Out &

PROUD

DeKalb State Court Judge Mike Jacobs Comes Out as Bisexual

By Patrick Saunders

FORMER STATE LAWMAKER AND CURRENT DEKALB County State Court Judge Mike Jacobs came out as bisexual in a

DeKalb County State Court Judge Mike Jacobs

news first to a meeting of the Stonewall Bar Association.

Award at Georgia Equality’s Evening for Equality later that year, as

public statement on May 1. The revelation came after disclosing the Jacobs is now reportedly the first openly LGBT trial judge in DeKalb.

“Two weeks ago at an event hosted by the Stonewall Bar Association, I came out publicly for the first time. I am bisexual,” he wrote in a

statement provided to Project Q Atlanta. “My wife Evan and I have

made a mutual decision that it would be a positive step for me to come out, and she proudly stood with me at the Stonewall Bar event.”

Jacobs noted the large LGBTQ population in DeKalb County and said that his coming out will have no effect on his work as a judge.

Jacobs’ actions earned him the Allen Thornell Political Advancement well as being named grand marshal in that year’s Atlanta Pride parade.

Jacobs would continue to be a frequent presence at LGBT events over the years.

He publicly knocked Karen Handel and Nathan Deal during their

race for governor in 2010, calling on them to “cut out the gay bashing” after they lashed out against a federal judge’s decision to strike down

Proposition 8, the measure outlawing same-sex marriage in California.

Handel complained about “liberal judges subverting the will of the

people.” Deal, who won the race and his re-election in 2014, said the

“It is my solemn and absolute duty to deliver fair and impartial justice

ruling “undermines the credibility of the judicial system and outrages

help show the broader community the diversity of our bench.

Jacobs stumped for LGBT support later that year during an event at

for every citizen,” he wrote. “However, this decision to come out does Jacobs’ influence on his three children was at top of mind in his decision, he noted.

“We are happy they are growing up in a world in which young

people can be who they are as soon as they recognize who they are,” Jacobs wrote. “We want that world to be a reality for them. The

most meaningful contribution I can make to that world is to be authentic myself.”

He closed the letter expressing hope that his coming out will help others.

“Coming out, or at least knowing there are others like us, is just as

affirming and significant for bi people as it is for other members of the LGBTQ community,” he wrote. “I have chosen to be a positive role model in this regard.”

Jacobs was elected to the Georgia House of Representatives as a Democrat in 2004, then switched to the Republican Party in 2007. He championed an anti-bullying bill that passed in the 2010 legislative session.

Georgians in both parties.”

Cowtippers, telling the crowd, “It means a lot to have support from the LGBT community. I want you to know that I do stand for you,

for equality and for you to be treated with dignity under the law. The

bottom line is that we all pay taxes here, we are all citizens, we are all

contributing members of society and most importantly, we are all hu-

man. At the end of the day, all levels of government should be treating you exactly the same as everyone else in society.”

In 2015, Jacobs introduced an LGBT-friendly amendment to an

anti-gay religious exemptions bill, which prompted his fellow Republicans to table it, effectively killing it for the year. Deal appointed Jacobs to his State Court judgeship later that year, and he won his first full term in 2016.

In Fulton County, there are at least two openly LGBT judges — Superior Court Judge Jane Barwick and State Court Judge Jane Morrison.

Visit Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com for daily LGBTQ news updates. theQatl.com

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Q

EVENTS

Con

OutlantaCon celebrates 10 years, welcomes Gaylaxicon

GAMES

By Dustin Shrader

O

utlantaCon is right around the cosmic corner as the queer geeks convention gears up for its decade anniversary this weekend.

But what makes it so great? In a word, diversity.

For those not in the know, OutlantaCon is Atlanta’s LGBT convention for sci-fi, pop culture, multi-media and gaming lovers. The local group of the same name throws its 10th event as co-hosts to the the traveling annual national event Gaylaxicon, which returns to Atlanta this year.

“OutlantaCon really is the best con you’ve never heard of,” Miller asserts. “We have gone above and beyond to make sure all of LGBT society will be fully represented whereas they might not necessarily have been represented at other cons in the past.”

LGBT writers, comics, an international short film festival, panels allowing guests to choose their own adventure, and an out of this world game show track with fan favorites including Match Game, Giant Jenga, Project Cosplay, Sunday Morning Mad Libs, and even a queer erotica puppet show.

As this year’s home to Gaylaxicon, the annual international science fiction, fantasy and horror convention for LGBT peeps and all of their buddies, OutlantaCon comes with the new Gaylactic Empire Couture, a sci-fi/genderqueer fashion show.

OutlantaCon President Candace Weslosky-Miller says that she could not be more thrilled to take the convention into the future.

“In a lot of ways, me taking over as president is a full circle moment,” Miller explains. “I started out as an attendee, then a guest panelist, track director and now convention president.

To say that the smaller, but mighty, convention is near and dear to Miller is an understatement.

“I can’t begin to describe how much I love this convention,” she says. “It’s really fun, and it is super inclusive. It is all of the wonderful things I remember about the big conventions in their early years.”

OutlantaCon is the longest running sci-fi, fantasy, anime, horror, and gaming convention for LGBT people and their allies in the Southeast. They strive to provide high-quality geek entertainment while creating an inclusive environment for everyone who attends.

“This will be our biggest crowd to date,” Millers says. “ Online 14

tickets have already sold out, but tickets will still be available at the door for purchase. This is also the biggest location we have ever had.”

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Atlanta’s very own Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence host the intergalactic runway style competition, with each sister performing a number between the model walks. If you love cosplay and have always harbored a burning desire to work the catwalk, Gaylactic Empire Couture is your destiny.

“Each year, the sisterhood has to partake in a spring event, so we thought what could be more perfect than partnering with those talented, fabulous girls,” Miller says. “I can only imagine what sparkly, crazy fashions they have in store for us!”

Get ready, Atlanta. OutlantaCon is an IRL fantasy trip that LGBT sci-fi lovers will not want to miss.

“All of our guests, volunteers and attendees are outstanding,” Miller gushes. “They truly represent our community through all of the great work they do. I couldn’t be more blessed to work beside them and share this wild ride with all of Atlanta,” she says.

“Come out and get your OutlantaCon on!”

OutlantaCon/Gaylaxicon takes place May 11-13 at the Renaissance Concourse Atlanta Airport Hotel. Visit outlantacon.org.

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Q

THE QUEER AGENDA The Best Queer Things To Do in Atlanta This Week

May 10 – May 16

THURSDAY, MAY 10 Trans Pwr

Southern Fried Queer Pride hosts music

by transgender acts including MonteQarlo (photo), LØVELACE, Yancey, Haint

and Love @ The Bakery, 9 p.m.

southernfriedqueerpride.com

FRIDAY, MAY 11 GaylaxiCon/OutlantaCon

The local LGBTQ sci-fi/fantasy and gaming group hosts the national

convention this year. Guests include body paint icon Dia Starr (photo) @ Renaissance Atlanta Airport, all weekend. outlantacon.org Thriving Children

Coco Peru headlines this annual gay fashion

show, silent auction and gala dinner for charity @ Atlanta History Center, 6:30 p.m. atlthrivingchildren.org

SATURDAY, MAY 12 Rainbow Trout Margarita Bust

Atlanta’s queer swimming and diving teams down frozen greenies @ Ten, 2 p.m.

atlantarainbowtrout.com MELT

Get an eyeful of this local queer photo exhibit @ Facet Gallery, 7 p.m. facebook.com/pg/facetgalleryatlanta ICON: Beyonce

The music and the looks are all about

Queen Bey and Destiny’s Child @ Deep End, 10 p.m. wussymag.com

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Writers!

Photographers!

Q magazine and Project Q seek to expand our pool of contributors Reporting, commentary, event pics, portraits and photo essays. Help us express Atlanta’s diverse LGBTQ perspectives on a one-time or recurring basis.

Samples to mike@qmagatlanta.com

DILF: Black & Blue

Fetish daddies and their boys mark this edition in the dance party series @ Heretic, 10 p.m.

hereticatlanta.com

TUESDAY, MAY 15 From Russia with Hate

Out on Film hosts a screening of this sequel sendup by “Hurricane

Bianca” del Rio and an all-star cast of queens @ Out Front Theatre, 7:30 p.m.

Find dozens of events in the full Queer Agenda on Project Q at theQatl.com. theQatl.com

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NEW SEASON, NEW LOOKS come in to see our expanding selection of underwear!

Sun-Thurs 10 am-9 pm • Fri & Sat 10 am-10 pm • 404.876.6567 1510 Piedmont Ave NE., Atlanta, Georgia • Ansley Square

DANCE Q

JOHN JAMES @johnjamesatl

Dance Specialties Commercial Hip Hop, Street Jazz and Burlesque How did you get started?

I’ve always loved music and dancing, but I took my first dance class at 21 years old and immediately fell in love.

Where can we see you perform?

Every month at “ICON: A Celebration,” and I teach Hip Hop classes every Wednesday night at Dance 101 Atlanta.

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

The energy and “groove” embedded in our movement. Just like a Southern accent, you can count on an Atlanta dancer bringing feeling and the highest level of entertainment in their movement. That’s something you can’t always find in other cities or circles.

IT

Meet seven queer dancers putting the moves on Atlanta

W

hatever makes being queer align so often with artistry and queerness, it’s an undeniably frequent combination. When it manifests through us with our own bodies as the instruments, it’s a special kind of magic, and it’s something the rest of us can enjoy as much as the creator themselves.

For Q’s latest photo essay on LGBTQ Atlanta, contributor Jon Dean focuses his lens on seven talents making moves in dance styles from contemporary to classic and beyond.  JON DEAN jondeanphoto.com

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

I hit the stage to entertain those who come to experience inclusion, fun, and an overall feeling of love. No judgment, no pressure. Not to mention adding a little sexiness and mystery. theQatl.com

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DANCE, Continued

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KRISTINA BROWN @kristinabrownie Dance Specialty Contemporary How did you get started?

I started dancing when I was 3, and my mom put me in tap and ballet classes. She just wanted a picture of her toddler in a tutu, and she never knew she was laying the groundwork for my lifelong career as an artist.

Where can we see you perform?

I’m currently a moving artist with glo, so you can find all of our upcoming work at gloatl.org.

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

Atlanta is a city full of artists who have had to build themselves with very little support. Unlike LA or Chicago or New York, Atlanta doesn’t have a lot of funding structures or accessible platforms and institutions for presenting work, so up-and-coming dancers and choreographers really have to build themselves in this city. It really lends itself to collaboration and manifests as possibility. But it takes persistence, and unwavering commitment.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

It allows me to hone in on sensation and the experience of movement, rather than filling specific traditional roles or worrying about being pretty. I get to experiment with the body moving, and play with both masculine and feminine energies.

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DANCE, Continued

PATRICK OTSUKI @genevablaus

Dance Specialty Modern Contemporary. It attracts so many artists because it is boundless; free of a formal overarching movement vocabulary.

How did you get started?

I’m a late-in-life dancer. Embarrassingly, I was inspired by Natalie Portman in Black Swan and took the plunge, with the encouragement of a dear friend, into collegiate dance classes at the ripe age of 21. I have been obsessed with dance since, taking contemporary modern, ballet, jazz, and company classes at Emory University.

Where can we see you perform?

I’m a member of the newly founded ImmerseATL under the direction of Atlanta Ballet Mistress Sarah Hillmer. I’m also a drag performer who has performed for several years at shows like Brigitte Bidet’s Tossed Salad and who occasionally performs at Mary’s where I was crowned Miss Glitz 2016.

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

Atlanta is a special place for dance. Programs at Emory, KSU, UGA, Spelman, and the Atlanta Ballet feed talented artists into the city constantly, while other artists migrate to Atlanta from prestigious programs at FSU, UF. New York City is no longer the only city that can offer a dancer a career.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

My queerness is inextricably bound to my dance life. I began dance and drag simultaneously. The best drag performers create strong connections with their audiences, and that’s a skill choreographers appreciate and enjoy working with. The realization of my queerness also helped me create a relation with and appreciation of my body.

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DANCE, Continued

ALEX ABARCA @aabarca3

Dance Specialties Contemporary. I feel proficient in most other forms, but mainly consider myself a contemporary dancer.

How did you get started?

Well, long story is that I started dancing in my grandmother’s living room at family parties around the age of 6.

I started taking dance class when I was 14, but didn’t start training seriously until I was 20.

Where can we see you perform?

I just got back from San Diego performing a solo I created, and I’m in the studio working on some new material.

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

Having lived in Houston and NYC, Atlanta is a nice middle ground where I can continue to find my own way as an independent dance-artist, in accordance with my own interests and rules.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

My queer identity is very closely linked to my dancing and movement. I cannot divorce myself from the fact that I walk a fine line between masculine and feminine. I love not being bound by conventions of gender when I dance.

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DANCE, Continued

CORIAN ELLISOR @cel1984

Dance Specialties Contemporary with an emphasis in Storytelling How did you get started?

I started dancing at a small studio in Spring, Texas when I was 13. It was one of those all-in-one dance, cheer, gymnastics and baton twirling places.

I attended for a few years, but wasn’t really into it so I quit. I picked back up dance in college while I was trying to figure out my major.

Where can we see you perform?

You can see me host Rupaul’s Drag Race every Thursday at Mary’s. You can also see me the first Saturday every month at Mary’s for Gurlfrandz. I teach a contemporary dance adult class every Wednesday at Callanwolde Fine Art Center.

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

It’s been great for me because it allows me to do anything that I want. I’ve had the opportunity to create and be seen in conventional and nonconventional spaces. It’s also very interdisciplinary, which helps cross promote and allows people from different mediums to work together.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

It’s shown more recently in my fusion of dance and drag. I just finished my thesis performance for my MFA at George Washington University. I used drag and dance to explain my struggles through the current social and political climate.

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HEZ STALCUP

at the Bakery May 17 - 20.

Dance Specialties Experimental and Contemporary

How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

How did you get started?

Late to the game in my mid 30s, I went to as many dance performances and events as I could find, watched documentaries about dance, read books and journals, tried my best to play rabid catch up in a field that I had no personal frame of reference to, except for the personal.

I was lucky enough to find a lot of supportive teachers, colleagues and curators who wanted me to get the best from an unconventional entry, including a rare dance platform that allowed the work of new choreographers to be shown. I will be forever grateful and in awe of the generosity I experienced.

I think I became a choreographer because I just kept showing up.

And so I’ve been choreographing and performing for the last 5 years.

Where can we see you perform?

I will be performing for the incredibly talented choreographer, and current Walthall Fellow Anicka Austin in the premiere of her upcoming piece “Sanctuaries and Fortresses,” which shows

Atlanta is a burgeoning dance city, without the set models and infrastructure of dance that exists in it’s contemporaries. I feel that the boon is to see a lot of artists experimenting and collaborating because invention is in most cases necessary and vital. When as an artist, you don’t have access to a system designed to support your medium through traditional methods, you have to create things on the fly and in a much more DIY mood than you might need to in, say, NY or LA for example.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

Having an ephemeral identity as a trans person who refuses to stop being masculine or feminine, as well as working in an ephemeral field on top of that, I find I am reliant if not dependent on invention for every part of my life.

I think this itself is an art form. Not the body designed to be anonymous by the technique, but the body of you translating and transforming the technique. The dance that comes from the choices of the odd, unique, anomalous mind. theQatl.com

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DANCE, Continued

JOSHUA RACKLIFFE @brigittebidet

Dance Specialty Contemporary How did you get started?

During my second year of acting school, I had a teacher tell me that I had “zero awareness of my body” and he couldn’t stand watching me, so I had an existential oh-shit moment and decided to focus on learning how to dance. The school I went to, Columbia College Chicago, has an amazing Dance curriculum, and it gave me a crash course on get started as a dance artist.

Where can we see you perform?

I’m currently working as a full-time company member and Dance Artist with Core Dance. We are known for presenting new and original work both locally and abroad. [For more information, visit coredance.org] How does the Atlanta dance community differ from other cities?

There’s a strong community of independent art makers who produce work by themselves and with other choreographers in town. The cost of living is lower than other cities, and there’s a good amount of space that isn’t being used, making it perfect for up-and-coming dancers to show their work. This is a place where someone with good ideas can thrive.

How does your queer identity influence your approach to dance?

It helps amplify my own voice. I can call out to others who share my experiences, and we can come together through art and relate to each other. Not feeling masculine at the clubs is why I started doing drag, and I’ve been asked a few different times to bring that to the table with choreographers that I work with.

The two identities feed each other, and will hopefully help me continue to grow.

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Q SHOTS

LEWK WITH LUCY STOOLE AT MY SISTER’S ROOM

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

SUNDAY DECK PARTY AT MIDTOWN TAVERN

Full gallery on Project Q at theQatl.com

Q SHOTS Q

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD theQatl.com

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Q SHOTS

BEAR PRIDE BEAR BUST AT HERETIC

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

SPRUNG WITH MIZ CRACKER AT HERETIC

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News | Events | Culture | Photos | Podcast

IN PRINT WEEKLY new content online daily Q Magazine theQatl.com

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JOINING HEARTS CHANGE OF SEASONS AT HERETIC

PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

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Q

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JERUSALEM HOUSE STARS PARTY AT BILTMORE HOTEL

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PHOTOS BY RUSS YOUNGBLOOD

Q

THEQ?!

Love That

BODY

Reducing that stubborn fat between your queer ears

Q

I’m 37 years old, and I love Atlanta. I’ve made my career here, and I feel settled, but as a stocky black man, the local guys here are not into me at all. I’ve tried the bars and clubs, I’ve tried the apps, and I’ve even tried matchmaking services – all with no success.

I’m open to an LDR – at this point, I have to be – but I’m spinning my wheels here. I’d love to be in a relationship eventually, but I don’t want to uproot everything else I have established here. Any advice?

Dear Beautiful: You don’t have to change cities to connect, but you may need to relocate your mind to fresh ground.

First and foremost, stop blaming your appearance. Throwing out your head trash could open doors on its own. The One or The Many are out there looking for a stocky black man in Atlanta, just as sure as one of my friends exclusively wants strawberry blond femme men with freckles and at least 100 pounds of extra cushion.

One size does not fit all in dating apps and clubs, and matchmakers only work on TV, in India or during the 1800s. Since you’re in the real, the here and the now, here are three suggestions.

Explore social groups specifically for local queer men of color.

Gentlemen’s Foundation and Impulse Group jump to mind. If you’re interested in Caucasians, Black & White Men Together and Better Way To Meet also host regular events. Those are just the tip of that iceberg to meet great friends and more.

Second, go for online personals. Be specific and don’t hold back: “I am a professional and well settled stocky black man looking for x, y and z …” How they can meet your requirements is just as important.

Finally, do what you love outside work. Your match is doing what they’re passionate about too, so find them on the path where you’re already building your best self.

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Q

No matter how much I work out or spend on haircuts and clothes, I hate what I see in the mirror. I’m short, curly haired and big in the butt. How can I attract the love of just one good man?

Dear Hot Or Not: First, short with curly hair and a big butt is my dream lay.

Second, there are no physical requirements for love. Third, and channeling Ru-Know-Who, if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?

Q

I grew up fat but after years had finally turned a corner on fitness, nutrition, and the psychology that led me to overeat. Then I slipped into old habits. I despise my body again.

I recently found my fattest fat pants. I see how easily I could slip back to having them fit. I need hugs and encouragement to go back to a healthy lifestyle and be proud of my body again.

Dear Progress: Loving your body is the first step, not the last, in this process.

That includes tough love: Accept your physical being as is, but love it enough to eat right and exercise.

Healthy habits aren’t a one-and-done proposition. Setbacks happen, and we all need refreshers to get back on track. Knowing the “how” from past experience is worth celebrating, not getting down about.

As for the “when,” how about now? What you need more than hugs are bootstraps to pull yourself up. You got this.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling.

Send your burning Qs to mike@qmagatlanta.com.

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