Q ATLus Magazine | February 4, 2021

February 4, 2021 July 23, 2020 July 16, 2020

It’s Like

THAT

Black History All Damned Year

We Can Stop Idolizing ‘Influencers’ in 2021 Flirty Message Tips That Keep Him from Ghosting Is It Really Cheating If It’s Just Facetime Sex?

Medica l Center & Pharmacy

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Woven

TOGETHER

BLACK HISTORY MONTH arrives with extra attention on issues and

people that matter, as well it should. Too often, though, wider public attention fizzles as the calendar turns. Also too often, interest and coverage centers only on Black suffering without acknowledging Black joy.

Q ATLus this week remembers that we keep every facet of the LGBTQATL at top of mind all year. The local queer tapestry we weave is only as

strong and beautiful as every single thread. The Q Cover story looks at the local and national figures that graced our cover over the last 12 months so you can revel in their contributions.

Also keeping it BLK, dating guru Jonathan Kirkland is taking his career

experience at Grindr. BLK is the singles app he works for after honing his

skills at IntoMore, Chappy, Bumble, iHeart and others, and that’s his focus with 5 Q Things to keep online flirts from ghosting you.

Also in this issue, Q Advice discovers people hiding secret sexting sessions, Q Community finds Out Georgia stepping up to Black-led businesses, Q Voices hears Scott King predicting a better future for 2021.

Enjoy, and when you’re done, hit us up on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and theQatl.com for fresh content every day.

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & SALES RICHARD@THEQATL.COM 404-917-9678 JOHN NAIL ART DIRECTOR JOHN@THEQATL.COM

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM RIVENDELL MEDIA NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 theQatl.com 5

INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 4 ISSUE 11

FEBRUARY 4, 2021

JUST THE TIPS

Dating Guru Keeps it BLK

COVER

19

10

Serving Face

Celebrate Black Inclusion

13

23

COMMUNITY

EVENTS

Giving Back is Their Business

Virtual and IRL Togetherness

Net Gain

Watch & Do

10 Q Things.................... 8

Q ADVICE

Q Community............... 14

Cheating 101

Q News......................... 11 Q Fashion...................... 19 Q Events....................... 23 Q Map........................... 24 Q Advice....................... 29 6 theQatl.com

If You’re Lyin’ You’re Dyin’

29

Q Promise of a VOICES

NEW DAY

IN 2021, I PREDICT THE RISE OF THE greatest American president of our time, the end of the Kardashian empire, and a transition away from Internet and social media solipsism.

Here are my hopes, dreams and predictions for 2021 and beyond.

WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS Culture is as culture does. We must free ourselves from the influence of influencers, reality TV stars, and other vapid wastes of time and cyberspace.

The Kardashians aren’t evil or harmful. They are beautiful but boring. They are entrepreneurs trying to make a buck. Or a billion. Or two. But their net effect on culture is negative.

People under the age of 25 have never been without the Internet.

They’ve never known a world without reality television “stars.”

They also never knew a world in which shamelessly whoring yourself out to the highest bidder wasn’t the penultimate sign of success.

power and the country’s economic might to administer a safe vaccine quickly and effectively.

I also trust Joe to reverse, often with the flick of a pen, many of the horrible administrative policies Trump enacted through a hegemonic force of will.

Most importantly, President Biden will reverse the trend in which the American President weighs in on every political and social event every day all the time OMG. President Joe will speak through his actions, and his actions will follow his words and principles.

If you have any further questions, please consult the new ginger White House Press Secretary.

She seems cool.

TASTE OVER POPULARITY It’s okay for a musician or actor to sell a lot of songs or shows or tickets. Just please don’t make the selling the selling point. Please don’t be interested in something just because it’s famous, trendy or popular.

Be interested in something because it moves you. Something you love should fuck you up. It should change your life. It shouldn’t just signify status.

When we watch a movie or hear a song, we should feel something deeper than phenomenon.

SCOTT We should feel something real.

Something profound. SomeKING thing that we won’t tell anyone or post about on social media, because words or likes just can’t do it justice.

Three decades after The Real World and Survivor, Connect to yourself. Connect to your taste. Conthese talent-free celebrities are ubiquitous and nect to your head and your heart and your gut and constant mainstream news fodder. They embody your drive and that fuzzy feeling inside. Who the the idea that fame, fortune and popularity are the fuck cares what anyone else thinks?

American dream — not hard work, substance, and It doesn’t matter what your taste is, as long as a place at the table. This needs to stop. you have some. Success doesn’t make something beautiful.

UNCLE JOE President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris will keep their heads down, distribute the coronavirus vaccine and make good policy.

Uncle Joe has been at this for a while. He’s not perfect, but he knows what he’s doing. He may stutter, but he speaks the truth clearly. I trust that this administration, with the help of VP Harris, will listen to scientists and use the technology, 8 theQatl.com

STACEY 2022 Stacey Abrams will run for Governor in 2022.

And she’ll win.

Vote, y’all. Ask friends and acquaintances if they vote or plan to vote. If they don’t, have an honest and open conversation with them. Volunteer.

Scott King is a writer and thinker living in Atlanta.

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Q

5 THINGS

Man with a

PLAN

Dating App Guru has 5 Tips to Avoid Being Ghosted WHEN JONATHAN KIRKLAND JOINED the black singles app BLK, he came with 14 years experience at Chappy, Viacom, A&E and iHeartMedia.

More recently and more to the point, he was the head of global entertainment at Grindr and IntoMore. That’s where he led branding and entertainment verticals to include lifestyle content, partner initiatives and events.

Needless to say, he knows a thing or two about dating and hookup apps and marketing yourself.

So when it comes to marketing your own personal brand, we trust him when he offers five things to keep those online flirts coming back for more.

Make Intentions Known

One thing people hate the most on dating apps is when they’re time is wasted. Being clear about your intentions, why you got on a dating app and what you hope to get out of it will make it clear to whoever you’re messaging if you both want the same things.

If you do end up having the same goal in mind, the chances of you being ghosted significantly decreases.

Short & Sweet

Don’t tell people your whole life story. This is a dating app, not a therapy session! No one is down to read a five-paragraph essay about someone they just started getting to know.

We are all super busy, so if someone doesn’t have to think too hard about every message sent, the conversation has a better chance of lasting.

10 theQatl.com

Ask About Them

If you’re getting one reply for every five messages sent, it’s not a good sign. The conversation is clearly one-sided. It’s important when dating to allow people to get to know you, but be sure you are always asking questions about them as well and give them an opportunity to engage.

The point of talking is to learn what you have in common, future goals, values and personalities. If you aren’t learning, it’s a red flag.

Avoid Sensitive Topics

2020 was the year that a lot of people became shameless in expressing their views on key topics from politics, social issues, systemic racism and racial injustice, etc. Yet, when it comes to people’s lives, they aren’t always as vocally forward.

If you notice someone is avoiding a question or certain topic, don’t pry to get answers out of them. It will make them uncomfortable and leave you ghosted. Take a hint!

Make Plans

It’s important to avoid talking to someone for a month without actually hopping on a video call. You want to 1. Make sure you aren’t getting catfished but 2. Hear their voice and see their mannerisms, and 3. make sure there is chemistry between you two to hold an actual conversation.

Get creative with it. Plan to have a virtual dinner date, drinks or even sign up for a virtual class together. If you haven’t done video chat, or at the bare minimum a voice chat, to make plans after about two weeks of messaging, it probably won’t happen.

Find the BLK app on all platforms, or visit blkapp.com.

Jonathan Kirkland

theQatl.com 11

Instagram.com/theQatl

Giving

NEWS

Q

BACK

Chris Lugo, executive director of Out Georgia

Out Georgia launches fund to support LGBTQ nonprofits

By Mike Fleming OUT GEORGIA BUSINESS ALLIANCE launched a new capital campaign this month to give back to LGBTQ people in need. The announcement came with news of a new partnership, the search for an advisory committee, and a six-figure goal.

Once funded, the Out Georgia Impact Fund will offer grants that help LGBTQ causes in “meaningful, measurable and lasting” ways, said Chris Lugo, executive director of Out Georgia.

You may know the local business networking group for its happy hour fetes, business summit, its most influential LGBTQ Georgians list and an annual awards gala. But doing good in the gayborhood is right in line with the group’s philosophy as well, Lugo said.

“Out Georgia Business Alliance believes philanthropy and community impact is central to delivering our mission,” Lugo told Project Q  theQatl.com 13

Q

OUT GEORGIA continued COVER Atlanta. “I’m looking forward to what we’re able to accomplish together.”

The program will award LGBTQ-focused grants according to pre-set priorities, he added. Those include agencies that help individuals and families in urgent need, Black-led organizations, small businesses, and advocacy groups.

Impact Fund grants will also carry the power of the United Way of Greater Atlanta.

“United Way of Greater Atlanta’s vision and mission center on inclusion and equity. Our vision is that Greater Atlanta is a community where all individuals and families thrive regardless of race, gender identity, or sexual orientation,” Milton J. Little, Jr., president and CEO of United Way of Greater Atlanta, said in an announcement of the fund.

FUNDING THE FUTURE

As a philanthropic standard bearer, the United Way brought the resources and experience to set up and run the program, Lugo said. It helped set priorities and create a lasting infrastructure to manage donations and measure success.

“Their team shares our passion and vision of making long-term investments in our LGBTQ+ community’s success and well-being,” Lugo said.

The groups set an initial goal of $100,000 to get the Impact Fund rolling. In addition to some existing Out Georgia board members, other interested parties are encouraged to apply to join an advisory board that will guide the fund.

Lugo hopes to finalize the inaugural advisory committee by March. That’s when vetting potential beneficiaries begins. The committee then recommends grants to the United Way for distribution, he said.

“Once the Impact Fund’s advisory committee is established, that group will be responsible for

14 theQatl.com

establishing our annual focus, reviewing the selection process for eligible nonprofit organizations, and making the grant recommendations to United Way of Greater Atlanta,” Lugo said.

Before the Impact Fund can make a difference, the coffers are open for that first $100,000. Out Georgia members and corporate partners are “overwhelmingly positive” about the possibilities, Lugo said.

“I’m anticipating that over the next several months, we will see funding commitments from our corporate community, employee giving campaigns, and individual giving efforts start to build substantial momentum,” he said. “I’m confident donors and supporters are going to dig in this spring and summer once our advisory committee is in place and doing the work.”

Lugo pitched the effort as a way to support a broader scope of beneficiaries for a greater good.

“Making a donation or charitable gift is a deeply personal act,” Lugo said. “I believe it’s more important than ever to align your spending and donations with your individual, family and community values.”

“Take the time to learn more about our effort and priorities, and know that your gift, no matter the size, will go to support nonprofit organizations that can do even more good with your involvement,” he added. “Supporting this Impact Fund can be one important way for you to learn about and invest in your LGBTQ+ community.”

The program serves as an investment in the future, Lugo said. “[The fund is] designed to grow and evolve over time with the needs of the LGBTQ+ community,” he said. “I think we’re going to be incredibly proud when we look back after a few years.”

Visit outgeorgia.org.

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18 theQatl.com

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COVER

Q

Black History YES, YOUR CALENDAR SAYS IT’S Black History Month, and that means tons more essays, exhibits, virtual events, and yes, newspaper and magazine covers in LGBTQ Atlanta.

But with a commitment to covering all of the LGBTQ-ATL all year, Q ATLus and Project Q Atlanta builds an archive of noteworthy coverage and a stockpile of gorgeous photography worth a second look — month in, and month out.

YEAR

Our staff prides itself on including the queer African-American experience on our pages among the rich tapestry of stories we help tell as the weeks and months progress, not just during February.

When we put our heads together for this issue, we realized: What better way for Q to show our Pride than with our own cover models over the last 12 months?

So we did. We circled back with nearly two-dozen of our eye-catching 2020 subjects to soak in all that they have to offer. Keep your eyes peeled each and every month, each and every issue, for more on all that makes LGBTQ Atlanta great. 

theQatl.com 19

BLACK LIKE THAT continued

20 theQatl.com

BLACK LIKE THAT continued

22 theQatl.com

Q Events

The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week FRIDAY, FEB. 5

Two Of Us France’s submission for the foreign-language Oscar is in virtual cinemas and On Demand now.

Meet two retired women with apartments across from each other who have been lovers for decades. One of their daughters puts together the truth @ Magnolia Pictures through February. twoofusfilm.com0 Pump Dance mixes “pump” for the no-cover-charge party that masked, distanced, shirtless gay guys need @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SATURDAY, FEB. 6

Dan DeLeon The DJ who never quits hits a crowd that never sleeps. A match made in heaven @ Heretic, 10 p.m. Stay up late with Xion @ District, 3 a.m. hereticatlanta.com

SUNDAY, FEB. 7 Super Bowl LV

The Chiefs and Mahomes

defend the title against the

Buccaneers with Brady out

Queer Bait

to make a point. The Wknd

does halftime @ CBS and your

chosen screen, game at 6:30 p.m.

with pre-show all day.

Colors on the Wall

Today is National Black HIV Awareness Day.

Thrive SS hosts an online screening of this docu-

mentary about six diverse lives living with HIV @ East Atlanta does what it do in prepaid shifts right now for the pandemic. There’s an online Twitch feed too @ Mary’s, 8 p.m. marysatlanta.com

Eventbrite, 2 p.m. thrivess.org

SATURDAY, FEB. 6

Drop in on a full af-

Pop! DJ Nova does the music and video party gays and gals need @ Blake’s 9 p.m. blakesontheparkatlanta.com

TUESDAY, FEB. 9 Trivia Tuesday

ternoon and evening of

specials, and don’t forget

Trivia Tuesdays with a $50

bar tab prize @ Hideaway, 9 p.m. Happy Hour

specials every weekday, 2 p.m. – 6 p.m. facebook.com/ atlantahideaway

theQatl.com 23

on tA ve .N E dm Pi e

4

9

11th St. NE

8

10th St. NE

Amsterdam Ave.

Dr. N E

Piedmont Park

14th St. NE

12th St. NE

12

Mon roe

West Peachtree St. NE

E

75

t. N eS tre

85

ach Pe

Spring St. NW

Q Atlus Map

10 5

Virginia Ave. NE

1 9th St. NE

227 10th St. NE 2. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE 3. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 4. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St 5. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE 6. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

24 theQatl.com

 Bars

 Restaurants North Ave. NW

North Ave. NW

 Clubs  Retail/Services

Not Shown

Future (Opens July 3) 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180

8. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE

Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE

9. Joe’s onRalph Juniper McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE

Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE

10. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE 11. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle) 12. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

3

Key

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

7. Flex 76 4th St NW

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

r. NE roe D Mon

Charles Allen Dr. NE

11 6

St. Charles Ave.

Glen Iris Dr. NE

1. Blakes on the Park

NE

NE

Piedmont Park

Piedmont Ave.

Spring St. NW

7

2 Juniper St. NE

85

Peachtree St.

75

West Peachtree St. NE

8th St. NE

Lin

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Bri

Key

 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE

6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE

7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

nr Mo

3

5

Pied

4. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

tA ve .N E on ed m

r. NE

Pi

5. Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 6. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE

D Monroe

Piedmont Park

1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

8

6

Ansley Park 2. The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

E

4

r. N

7

D oe

2 1

Morningside Dr. NE

mon t

Ave. NE

1. Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE

Key

 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE

theQatl.com 25

Q Atlus Map Directory The businesses on the preceding pages are integral parts of Atlanta’s LGBTQ landscape. Those listed in boxes are consistent Q partners and community allies.

BARS, CLUBS & RESTAURANTS Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Mama’s Cocina 1958 Piedmont Road NE Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE My Sister’s Room 84 12th St Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

26 theQatl.com

Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE

Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW The T 465 Boulevard SE Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE

RETAIL & SERVICES 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Atlanta Eagle) Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thrift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

ADULT Flex 76 4th St NW Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Starship Galaxy/Starship Novelties 2273 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Tokyo Valentino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

Q Advice Sick of Your

SECRETS

Cheating, cybersex and lies of omission

Q

I didn’t plan it, but after breaking up with my ex a couple months ago, I started hooking up with his bestie. We’re having a good time, but we’re keeping it hush-hush for obvious reasons.

We want to stay friends with my ex, but we’re both afraid if he finds out, we could both lose him forever. He might think we were cheating on him all along, and I swear that’s not what happened.

He’s a good person and doesn’t deserve the drama.

What should we do?

Dear Drama: So you’re sleeping with your ex’s best friend and hiding it to keep a lid on drama? No. You’re hiding to save you from dealing with it and let drama stew.

You can either decide that some temporary fun isn’t worth your friendships, or choose to give it a go with the best friend. What you can’t do is to keep it quiet.

Tell your ex before he finds out on his own, which he will. You might lose him, but it’s his call, not yours. You might also gain some personal integrity.

Q

I’m in a monogamous relationship, but I suddenly sometimes find myself downloading Grindr and chatting up strangers.

My profile says I’m only interested in friends, and sometimes I exchange pics or let conversations go over the flirting line. Way over. Like, Facetime seshes.

I would never cheat, but a friend that I already am. I say it’s just fantasy. Who’s right?

Dear Cheating: It’s not what you’re doing. It’s how it makes you feel.

On their own, hookup apps are innocuous. Trouble comes if you break your relationship agreements, wonder out loud about it with others, or keep secrets from your partner. You’ve done all three.

Have an honest conversation with the only person who needs to know: your partner. Does your relationship agreement need adjusting? Would certain changes eliminate your urge for virtual sex? Does either of you mind if the other cruises Grindr?

Solve those, and I won’t make you answer how you “suddenly find yourself ” on Grindr. What, you just woke up and Mr. Hyde had taken over your mind and body?

Q Advice is intended for entertainment, not professional counseling.

Send your Qs to mike@theQatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON

theQatl.com 29