Q ATLus Magazine | January 28, 2021

January July28, 23,2021 2020 July 16, 2020

All

BUNDLED UP

LGBTQ ATL Gets Cozy with Signs of Progress

Frontline ICU Nurse Talks Gay COVID Carelessness What Whiny ‘FML’ Posts Really Say About You Rabbi Josh Retires from Atlanta’s Gay Synagogue

Medica l Center & Pharmacy

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Plodding, Plotting

PROGRESS

TWO STEPS FORWARD, one step back. If that sounds like the

process to advance equality, it is. That’s why it’s a full-time job. Q ATLus puts one foot in front of the other in this issue.

You stayed home. Or… you didn’t. And the virus rages. You got or

anticipate your vaccine. Or… you didn’t and you don’t. A gay nurse in Emory’s ICU talks about both, and he’s looking at all of us in Q Community.

In Q News, Atlanta’s gay rabbi walks into the future and out of

his role with the LGB-founded congregation. Spelman College

makes strides with its first-ever Queer Studies chair, endowed by an LGBTQ billionaire.

In Q Fashion, you step out in garments that are color- and gender-

neutral. Togetherness advances in Q Events, and whiners get the boot in Q Advice. Step into the first days of February on these pages, then catch up with us every day on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com.

RICHARD CHERSKOV PUBLISHER & SALES RICHARD@THEQATL.COM 404-917-9678 JOHN NAIL ART DIRECTOR JOHN@THEQATL.COM

MIKE FLEMING EDITOR MIKE@THEQATL.COM RIVENDELL MEDIA NATIONAL ADVERTISING SALES@RIVENDELLMEDIA.COM 212-242-6863 theQatl.com 5

INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 4 ISSUE 10

JANUARY 28, 2021

SAW THE SIGNS

Change is Right in Your Face

FASHION

18

8

50 Shades

Color- and Gender-Neutral

11

14

NEWS

COMMUNITY

Gay Rabbi Leaves Longtime Post

COVID Nurse Keeps It Real

Call of Duty

Pro Tip

10 Q Things.................... 8

Q ADVICE

Q Community............... 14

Sad Sack

Q News......................... 11 Q Fashion...................... 19 Q Events....................... 23 Q Map........................... 24 Q Advice....................... 29 6 theQatl.com

No One Wants to Hear It

29

Q

10 THINGS ALL-GENDER RESTROOMS

Neutral one-stallers have made way for an increasing number of co-ed multi-stall lavatories.

QUEER EMOJI

Tap your favorite queer-inclusive, racially intersectional icons like anyone else who find words just too hard.

eming

ke Fl

By Mi

MEDIA MOGULS

Forget milquetoast representation on Modern Family and Will & Grace. Now we’ve got 10, 10, 10, 10s across the board in shows like Pose.

PRONOUN IDS

He-him, She-her and They-them identifiers are now regular inclusions in e-mail signatures, resumes and most other places you find people’s names and bios.

8 theQatl.com

RAINBOW UNICORNS

They’re everywhere, and they’re a direct acknowledgement of the magical, unique nature of every living creature.

CROSS-PRIVILEGE ADVOCACY

Look around and you’ll see an increasing population of gay white men listening instead of talking, often taking active steps to balance the scales of inclusion.

GENDERQUEER KIDS

You’ll never forget the feeling of pride the first time you see a child allowed to enjoy their favorite clothing or toys without regard to restricted gender roles.

OUT TEENS

Same-sex prom dates and visible queer youth are almost downright routine nowadays.

FEM-POWERMENT Shame over femininity is falling to history as gender-variant men embrace their inner “sissy” and catch up to what “girly” lesbians have always known — there’s power in that swish.

GENDER NEUTRAL FASHIONS

Runways around the world are already embracing unisex sizes. Giu Giu is just one label to offer gender-free expressions of style. theQatl.com 9

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NEWS

Q

BLESSED

Rabbi Joshua Lesser to retire from Atlanta’s LGBTQ-founded synagogue

By Mike Fleming

WHEN JOSHUA LESSER LEAVES HIS POST as senior rabbi at Congregation Bet Haverim on May 31, it will be with more than two decades under his belt leading the organization founded by and for LGBTQ Jews in Atlanta. It will also be with remarkable change, growth and accomplishment in those two decades.

“Serving CBH has been incredible,” Lesser told Project Q. “Being the rabbi of a community that was founded by gay, lesbian and bisexual Jews and their loved ones in the South has been extraordinary.”

“And as we welcomed straight folks, we led LGBTQ-founded synagogues in the country thinking about how queer values impact everyone’s life for the better,” he added. “It has been a rich time filled with learning and growth and furthering a sense of justice.”

When he started fresh out of rabbinical school 21 years ago, the congregation was already going strong with lay leaders, a part-time rabbi named Leila Berner, and a membership-led approach. To add to the challenge of being the congregation’s first fulltime rabbi, Lesser was among the youngest people in the congregation, Lesser remembered.

“I was serving a congregation where most of the members were at least a decade older than me,” he said. “LGBT communities, understandably, are reticent about leadership. While the position has changed tremendously, it has been gratifying to shift from in some ways a glorified service leader and programmer to become a trusted spiritual leader.”

The rabbi will remain with the congregation in an emeritus role. He counts among his accomplishments the founding of SOJOURN– Southern Jewish Resource Network for Gender & Sexual

Joshua Lesser

Diversity, as well as co-editing the book Torah Queeries, a weekly Torah reading guide through an LGBTQ lens.

“We have grown a great bit and have always been ambitious in what a congregation our size could accomplish,” Lesser said.

Lesser took some time on Project Q Atlanta to reflect on his time at CBH, how times have changed since he started, and his visions for the future for himself, the congregation and and for LGBTQ Atlanta as a whole.

I have been discerning what was next for me.

CBH has always been a place that has supported my reinvention of the rabbinate.

There has been vitality in my ability to vision, train and reimagine. This move is a part of that.

I am increasingly drawn to bolder, innovative opportunities in religious and spiritual spaces.

Institutions, even one as forward-thinking as CBH, are risk averse. As I age, I am more interested in risks worth taking.

Similarly, I am interested and called to respond to injustice, social healing, and repair. So, for me this is less of a leaving and more of moving towards what is next.

Read the full interview on Project Q Atlanta at theQatl.com. Visit congregationbethaverim.org or the Congregation Bet Haverim Facebook page. theQatl.com 11

Q

IN BRIEF

Gay billionaire gives $2M for Spelman’s Queer Studies chair

By Mike Fleming AS AN HEIR TO A MEDICAL SUPPLY fortune, Jon Stryker gives and gives. As an out gay man, he often does so with LGBTQ causes in the spotlight.

Among trusts created by Stryker, 63, the Arcus Foundation specifically targets underfunded LGBTQ causes. In 2019, the foundation provided $400,000 in seed money to start a capital campaign for a queer studies chair at the historically black women’s college in Atlanta.

The Audre Lorde Queer Studies chair will operate within Spelman’s Comparative Women’s Study program. It’s the first such chair at any HBCU. Lorde, a lauded black lesbian poet and activist who donated her personal papers to the college before her death, was selected as the namesake by Stryker himself.

This month, Spelman’s campaign reached its $2 million matching threshold and received the remaining $1.6 million of Stryker’s total $2 million gift.

“In just a year’s time, the stellar team at Spelman has raised millions of dollars to support this important chair,” Stryker said in the

Jon Stryker

announcement. “Spelman continues to lead on LGBTQ inclusion among HBCUs.” “By supporting this chair, the goal is to engage and empower the next generation of LGBTQ advocates to create a better world,” he said.

It’s far from Stryker’s first dance with Spelman’s LGBTQ initiatives. Arcus funded a 2011 diversity summit at the school and granted funds to permanently display Lorde’s papers in 2009.

“We are grateful for his generous support that continues to elevate the importance of this work in the academic environment,” Mary Schmidt Campbell, president of Spelman, said in the announcement.

A faculty committee now gets to work selecting the first occupant of the chair.

Transgender woman found dead in Athens parking lot

By Matt Hennie THE GEORGIA BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION and authorities in Athens continue investigations into the death of a 40-year-old transgender woman whose body was discovered in late December just a few hundred feet from her apartment.

A jogger found the body of Kimberely Patricia Cope in the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant about 6 a.m. on Dec. 27. Three friends spending time at Cope’s apartment hadn’t seen Cope for at least three hours.

There were no visible signs of trauma, according to Athens-Clarke County Coroner Sonny Wilson, but GBI autopsy results are pending.

12 theQatl.com

The Athens-Clarke County Police Department also continues its investigation.

Cope’s friends told police they noticed a white SUV arrive, according to an incident report.

Someone inside the vehicle spoke to Cope, but the friends did not see if she got inside the SUV. “When they looked outside again, Kimberely was no longer in sight,” according to the incident report.

A graveside service was held for Cope in McRae, Ga., on Jan. 2. A makeup artist and hair stylist, she moved with family from Michigan, where she was born, to Commerce, Ga., in 2010.

She loved pets and had a dog named Chance, according to her obituary.

Q

COMMUNITY COVER

Keeping it REAL Frontline nurse talks virus, vaccines and COVID carelessness

Photo by Keilan Scott Photos Q ATLus cover photo by David Martinez

14 theQatl.com

By Mike Fleming ONLINE CHATTER IN 2021 IS DEAFENING ON a good day and maddening on a bad one. Make it hot-button topic like COVID vaccines, and it can be impossible to separate fact from misinformation.

Pro-tip from a local LGBTQ nurse: When in doubt, consult a professional.

Dorian Kerschner works directly with COVID patients as a Critical Care Registered Nurse in the Acute Respiratory ICU at Emory University Hospital. Since the beginning of the pandemic, he

encounters “plenty” of people misinformed about the virus, he said.

will be the only way to snuff out the threat of the virus at this point.”

“I’ve found myself at odds with a number of people who are misinformed and still encouraging others to go out without masks and disregard the most basic of guidelines,” Kerschner told Project Q.

And yes, we’re looking at you, gays.

With four years in the ICU under his belt, two of them with respiratory patients, Kerschner knows that coronavirus is real, and it is ugly. But some people still doubt or dismiss the severity of the virus, he said.

“I would educate them on the how the virus isn’t just a respiratory issue,” the CCRN said. “It affects the lungs, heart, kidneys and blood as well. And obviously, if they ‘only had a mild case’ that doesn’t mean that it will not be terminal for someone else.

I’ve seen it firsthand.”

The same level of rumormongering, denial and half-truths about the virus also crops up against the vaccines intended to quell its tide. If anyone is afraid to take a vaccine when the opportunity arises, consider his professional perspective a pro-tip.

“I would tell them that the alternative is far worse,” Kerschner said. “I have been more than forward about the things I’ve seen since the pandemic started with respect to the HIPAA. I’ve had patients as young as their 20s pass away. I’m 30 years old. If that doesn’t remind you of your own mortality, I don’t know what will.”

THE REAL SIDE EFFECTS

As a frontline worker, Kerschner got his first dose of the Pfizer vaccine in December and the second dose right after the New Year. He had some soreness at the injection site, but no other discernible side effects. Some of his co-workers reported a general tiredness after their second dose.

Even if the side effects were worse, it would be worth it, Kerschner said.

“It is my professional opinion that this is the only way we will be able to return to any sense of normal,” he said. “There are far too many people still whose careless choices are directly contributing to the perpetuation of the pandemic, so vaccination

“It’s been very difficult to see so many people, especially in the gay community, be careless and apathetic during this time,” Kerschner said. “I never thought I would have to explain to anyone in the community how a virus can devastate our lives or those of the ones we love.”

“I’ve had patients as young as their 20s pass away.

I’m 30 years old. If that doesn’t remind you of your own mortality, I don’t know what will.”

— Dorian Kerschner The implications are stark, as are the disease’s effects on not just individual LGBTQ people but the community as a whole, he continued.

“Our gay-owned businesses are also suffering and even closing down for good after being open for decades,” he said. “It’s tragic, but it’s directly a result of those not being compliant with CDC guidelines and the businesses not holding their patrons accountable for complying with them as well.”

As LGBTQ people have in the past, coming together can still be a solution if more of us can get on the same page to show each other basic respect, Kerschner continued. That goes for the virus, the vaccines, and the safety protocols.

“Our community has enough divisiveness already, but now more than ever, I see those bold lines separating us all,” he said. “We all need to hold ourselves and each other accountable for our actions as well as stop the spreading of misinformation or downplaying the pandemic.”

“That’s entirely more dangerous than just refusing to wear a mask,” he added. “This has always been bigger than any one person. We all need to work together or we’re all at risk of losing what we know and love.” theQatl.com 15

Q

FASHION

Pops of

QUEER

Genderqueers stand out in neutral-tone, gender-neutral fashions

By Mike Fleming

IT’S BEEN SAID THAT THE BEST CLOTHES are those you wear, and not the ones so bold that they wear you. Making it work, though, is always a struggle to balance where your head is with what’s on the rack.

The challenge grows if you’re an original LGBTQ person with a mind toward gender expression. The fashion world slowly catches up by applying one of its classic principles: neutrality.

Letting you shine through was always about neutral colors. The gender queer and transgender models in this week’s photo essay take matters of expression into their own hands.

Diesel, Zara, Givenchy, Giu Giu and H&M are just a few of the bigger brands adding gender-neutral sizing and styles to their lines. You

18 theQatl.com

can also check out 10 specifically gender-free clothiers: 69 Worldwide sixty-nine.us NotEqual notequal.co Tilly and William notjustalabel.com/tilly-and-william One DNA onedna.earth Sharpe Suiting sharpesuiting.com Rad Hourani radhourani.com VEEA veea.com Gender Free World genderfreeworld.com Muttonhead nuttonheadstore.com FLAVNT Streetwear flavnt.com 

NIGHTLIFE

Q

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SHADES OF GRAY continued

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SHADES OF GRAY continued

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Q Events

The Best LGBTQ Things to Do in Atlanta This Week THURSDAY, JAN. 28

Spark Game Night DJ Darlene finds you playing games with the Jameson Wheel of Prizes and other surprises @ Hideaway, 8 p.m. facebook.com/atlantahideaway

FRIDAY, JAN. 29

SATURDAY, JAN. 30 Glitz & Glam Charlie Brown and her girls give you dinner and a show in Atlanta’s drag restaurant and bar.

Make reservations @ Lips Atlanta, 6 p.m., 9 p.m. and the Taboo Show at 11:30 p.m. lipsatl.com Pop! DJ Nova does the music and video party gays and gals need @ Blake’s 9 p.m. blakesontheparkatlanta.com AJ Reddy The Miami DJ spins for the boys @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com

SUNDAY, JAN. 31 Authenticity: A Journey Trans inclusion trainer Gabrielle Claiborne speaks to the LGBTQ-inclusive congregation during livestreamed services @ Unity Atlanta, 11 a.m. unityatl.org

TUESDAY, FEB. 2 Pump Local DJs and zero cover charge give the circuit vibes you want without the circuit prices you don’t.

Masked and distanced, they promise @ Heretic, 10 p.m. hereticatlanta.com Fem Friday The backyard and patio are open for women who love women who love open-air parties, with two socially distanced and masked levels indoors @ My Sister’s Room, Fridays and Saturdays 8 p.m.

– 3 a.m. mysistersroom.com

Trivia Tuesday

Drop in on a full afternoon and evening of specials, and don’t forget Trivia Tuesdays with a $50 bar tab prize @ Hideaway, 9 p.m. Happy Hour specials every weekday, 2 p.m. – 6 p.m. facebook.com/atlantahideaway

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 3 The Devil You Know Charles M.Blow discusses his new “Black Power Manifesto” in a virtual event hosted by Charis.

Online admission includes a signed copy of the book. Meet up @ EventBrite, 7 p.m. charisbooksandmore.com theQatl.com 23

on tA ve .N E dm Pi e

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11th St. NE

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Q Atlus Map

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Virginia Ave. NE

1 9th St. NE

227 10th St. NE 2. Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE 3. Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 4. My Sister’s Room 84 12th St 5. X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE 6. Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

24 theQatl.com

 Bars

 Restaurants North Ave. NW

North Ave. NW

 Clubs  Retail/Services

Not Shown

Future (Opens July 3) 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180

8. Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE

Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE

9. Joe’s onRalph Juniper McGill Blvd. NE 1049 Juniper St NE

Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE

10. Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE Highland Ave. NE 11. Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Eagle) 12. Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

The T 465 Boulevard SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

3

Key

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

7. Flex 76 4th St NW

Ponce De Leon Pl. NE

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Charles Allen Dr. NE

11 6

St. Charles Ave.

Glen Iris Dr. NE

1. Blakes on the Park

NE

NE

Piedmont Park

Piedmont Ave.

Spring St. NW

7

2 Juniper St. NE

85

Peachtree St.

75

West Peachtree St. NE

8th St. NE

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 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

Cheshire Bridge Road 5. The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

9. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

2. Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE

6. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

10. Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

3. Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE

7. Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

11. Tokyo Valentino (Cheshire Bridge) 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

4. BJ Rooster’s 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

8. 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

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1. Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

3. Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

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Ansley Park 2. The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

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Morningside Dr. NE

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1. Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE

Key

 Bars  Restaurants  Clubs  Retail/Services

7. Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 8. Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE

theQatl.com 25

Q Atlus Map Directory The businesses on the preceding pages are integral parts of Atlanta’s LGBTQ landscape. Those listed in boxes are consistent Q partners and community allies.

BARS, CLUBS & RESTAURANTS Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Blakes on the Park 227 10th St. NE Bulldogs Bar 893 Peachtree St NE Felix’s on the Square 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Friends on Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE Future 50 Lower Alabama St SW, Suite 180 Henry’s Midtown Tavern 132 10th St NE The Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Road NE The Hideaway 1544 Piedmont Ave NE Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St NE Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Lips Drag Show Palace 3011 Buford Highway NE Mama’s Cocina 1958 Piedmont Road NE Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave SE Midtown Moon 1510 Piedmont Ave NE My Sister’s Room 84 12th St Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Roxx Tavern 1824 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

26 theQatl.com

Sequel Bar 1086 Alco St. NE

Sister Louisa’s 466 Edgewood Ave SE Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr NW The T 465 Boulevard SE Tripp’s Bar 1931 Piedmont Circle NE Woof’s Sports Bar 494 Plasters Ave NE X Midtown 990 Piedmont Ave. NE Zocalo Mexican Kitchen & Cantina 187 10th St NE

RETAIL & SERVICES 2Qute Hair Salon 1927 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Barking Leather 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Barking Leather After Dark 306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE (inside Atlanta Eagle) Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave NE Equilibrium Fitness 1529 Piedmont Ave NE Lost ’n Found Youth Thrift Store 2585 Chantilly Dr NE Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

ADULT Flex 76 4th St NW Southern Nights 2205 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Starship Galaxy/Starship Novelties 2273 Cheshire Bridge Road NE Tokyo Valentino 1739 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

Q Advice

‘FML’

People

‘What their whining and constant complaining really mean

Q

I was recently accosted by a friend who said that all I do is complain. I’ve had a hard go of it, and I was depending on him for emotional support.

My employment situation leaves more than a little to be desired, I have $8,000 mounting in debt, plus $700 a month in health insurance because I have HIV. Yesterday, I found out my dad is having a tumor removed. My dog may need surgery, my boyfriend is cheating on me, my classes are unbelievably difficult this semester, and I’m behind on just about every personal and professional deadline I have.

A long string of situations make me feel like I can’t get ahead. When I do an APB of FML, I desperately need caring friends, not shamers for needing help.

Dear FML: Everyone has challenges that others would loathe to bear, and everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometimes. There’s no shame in that.

When it becomes a habit to lean on those who can’t do anything but empathize, you’re mischaracterizing their responsibility. You’re not asking for help. You’re just listing your grievances.

What if your friend’s response was, “That sucks.

My brother has been committed to an institution, my teeth are going to cost $2,500, my boss is a megalomaniac, my husband may be on disability for life, and my lease won’t be renewed.”

Now imagine everyone else in the room did the same, unloading their burdens on people who can’t do a damn thing about it. There you all sit – exhausted, having accomplished only a pity party.

It may feel good to bitch, but you alienate others.

Worse, you waste time doing nothing about the actual problems.

Your friend did you a favor. He sees a pattern, not in your life as you say, but in your reactions. Those who constantly whine and seek pity are subconsciously preparing excuses for future crises and the ongoing pattern of woe-is-me.

You avoid accountability for the next “disaster” by believing friends were “warned” about how screwed up your life is. Pining for sympathy is easier than working to fix problems. Whining is easier than talking to a professional and taking tough steps.

Most everyone can empathize with your problems and match them with private burdens of their own. The difference is in the word private: Share your issues with those who can help, and keep the ins, outs and dirty details off the backs of others.

You will undoubtedly need a shoulder to cry on again sometime, but when addressing your problems ends there, destructive habits and poor choices re-occur. If you are actually addressing issues but still whining, consider letting your friends be your cheerleaders at the finish line, not your dumping ground the whole way there.

Q Advice is intended for entertainment, not professional counseling. Send your Qs to mike@theQatl.com.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD GIBSON

theQatl.com 29

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