8: Transformative Arts and Music 21: Rufus & Floyd 22: Women in Sport
9: Koestler Winners 2023 24: Goings On
23: Book Review: Finding My Wild 25: Step by Step 28: A Day in the Life: Depression 29: Transformation in Nature
Acknowledgements: Sincere thanks are offered to all who played a part in creation of this magazine, in particular the contributors, without whom there would be no publication. Additionally, it would not have been possible without the support of Governor Gary Milling, all of the Prison Arts Foundation Staff, the librarian Andrea and staff in On Point Printing. Sincere appreciation extended to Jayne the Art Tutor, and all of the teachers and prison educators who supported their students as they created their submissions. Particular gratitude is offered to the in-house artist, RMcA, for the bespoke cover art.
Issue 21 Winter 2023
When asked to guest-edit this edition of Time In, I immediately grabbed the chance. We had been having conversations around the concept of Transformation and once suggested as a theme for this issue, it seemed a nobrainer. During these conversations, we naturally talked of conflict and peace, as wellaschangeonanindividualandsocial level, and the impact Art can have on thoseprocesses.
When I put my mind to the actual practicalities of putting together the magazine, the first thought that occurred was that this was an opportunity, not only for me, as editor, to curate content that spoke to the transformative effect the arts can have and the transformative journeys some of the artists have been on, but also to push boundaries in terms of how that can be presented. So, despite the, no-doubt, trepidation of the editor-in-chief, I was given the green light.
Looking back through previous editions of Time In, it became clear that somewhat of a house-style existed. If I was going to talk about Transformation, I had to be transformative in my approach. Therefore, that house-style went out the window. I wished to create a more visual experience, one jampacked with colour that rejected the modern notion of using white-space. My hope was to create an experience where every turn of the page provoked interest, curiosity and attentiveness.
We all have tales of transformation in our lives. To some extent it is inescapable.
Whether a result of changes in our environment, new ideas we engage with, or simply our own emotional and psychological maturity, change happens to us all, and like time, it will stop for no-one. Art and creativity allow us to funnel that inevitability in a positive direction and promote and facilitate social inclusion, reciprocity and justice.
In considering the content for this issue, education was an important consideration.
the there without Staff, appreciation is educators Particular
Editorial Note: Time In has been fortunate for the second time this year to have a prisoner guest editor whose experimental graphic design extends our visual content. Experimentalism is a vital creative element that can produce new forms within the arts. Our current guest editor has assisted in challenging our own artistic expectations and goals, and for which we are thankful. Prison Arts Foundation platforms offer workshop in a diversity of arts disciplines that fundamentally encouragerespectandexpression.TheChinese sage, Confucius extolled propriety as ceremonial rite, respecting each participant with proper speech within proper actions. The arts as education are an ultimate in communication. Every conversation in good faith will produce educational values. Bernard Shaw stated: ‘the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place!’ I wish to close off the year by offering special thanks to Everyone who contributed to our Creative Writing Group; as well as, to all prisoners who made submissions to Koestler Arts (2023) and to those who gained KoestlerAwards.
Many of us find the rigidity of formal education, with its deadlines, narrow focus and set-script style, an obstacle to learning which rubs roughly against our natural grain. Art, not only allows ideas, stories and personality to be communicated in many different ways, but it facilitates individuals engaging with such things in ways that are personal, motivating and ultimately enriching.
I feel compelled to highlight the fantastic work the Prison Arts Foundation does in creating circumstances in which people are free to explore the arts, their own creative impulses, and to be adventurous in that.
@PamelaMaryBrown Writer
-in-Residence
Magilligan
I’ll end by thanking everyone who contributed to the magazine. Personally I found the writings on offer thought-provoking and inspiring, and for me the hope and the pain being communicated through some of the visual work was clear. Particular thanks go to Pamela Brown, our editor-in-chief who regularly tolerates my hair-brained ideas, and who offered faith by giving me this opportunity.
@JPW
Reflections
The Reflections Anthology project, created through the PAF Creative Writing Group in Magilligan, was a collaborative project between writers in the group, and those with a particular interest and aptitude for the visual arts.
The hope is that the poems within will offer an insight into the lives and memories of those who took part.
Some of the writers have had very little writing experience, and for many this will have been their first time putting pen to paper. The collection offers a ‘reflection’ of the talent that lies beneath the surface.
Visually, individual Mayflies were hand-drawn and positioned manually to create a ‘flip-book’ effect. This was developed using a polychrome method in order to duplicate the lifecycle of the insect.
The finished booklet has been distributed to Antrim, Dungiven, Holywood, Lurgan and Omagh Libraries and it is hoped that the Anthology will be entered to the Koestler Awards 2024 as a group entry.
Triptych @PMN Definition - Historical: A picture or relief carving on three panels, typically hinged together vertically and used ad alter piece; Modern: A set of three associated artistic, literary or musical works attended to be appreciated together.
Prisoners’ Week
Prisoners’ Week ran from 8th -14th October this year. This interdenominational event is an opportunity for bridging the division between prisoners and those in our communities. The event was co-ordinated by Fr Kevin Mulhern. Magilligan’s Creative Writing Group created postcards, posters and composed letters explaining what prison life means to us and our families. We hope that this goes some way to breaking down stigmas that exist around prisoners, and re-humanising us in society’s eyes. The postcards and letters were available in all of the parishes in the Derry diocese.
We had an opportunity to interview Fr Kevin after the celebration.
Q:WhatistheaimofPrisoners’ week?
A: Prisoners week aims to encourage prayers and awareness of the needs of prisoners and their families , victims of crime and their communities those working in the criminal justice system and the many people who are involved in caring for those affected by crime on the in and outside of our prisons.
Q: This is the first year that it has been expanded to include a project by prisoners. Why is this so important?
A: The inclusion of Prisoners involved in creative writing has helped people to have a greater understanding of people in Prison. Everything was prepared by the prisoners this was evident in the cards with their poetry on them, yet more especially on the letters written by the prisoners themselves.
A: My hope would be that a continuation of what has been achieved this year can be built upon in future years ahead so that people will be able to grow in understanding of the people who find themselves behind bars.
Q: What was the reception of the event like in your parish?
A: In my own Parish the event was received with a certain enthusiasm due to my involvement with the prisoners in Magilligan and in the preparation of the literature produced. Several have enquired about writing to a prisoner or the possibility of financial support if needed. If anyone is interested they can contact me through the chaplaincy.
Introduction
Lederach distinguishes Conflict Transformation from Conflict Resolution. He defines Resolution as a process that seeks to end conflict by dealing with the immediate situation. This is characterised as a superficial approach.
In contrast to this, Lederach’s approach is to recognise that conflict is an ongoing reality, and rather than being a destructive force, it is a ‘motor for change’ which we can direct towards more positive outcomes. He argues that a Conflict Transformation approach ‘provides a clear and important vision… [that] brings into focus… the building of healthy relationships and communities, locally and globally,’ and it does so by engaging in a deeper analysis.
Lenses
Lederach sets out that the key to Conflict Transformation is to approach problems through a series of lenses, three to be precise:
1. Immediate Situation
This is the immediate presenting problem. Lederach uses an example of a family argument over who is doing the dishes.
2. Underlying patterns and context
tRANS
This involves analysing the underlying nature and quality of relationships, the differing power dynamics at play and the decision making that flows from that. Continuing the example of the dispute over who is doing the dishes, Lederach proposes we ask such questions as ‘who has washed them in the past?’ ‘Who will wash them in the future?’ and indeed as an extension, ‘who normally determines who washes them?’
3. Conceptual framework
Transformation seeks to provide a framework that addresses the content, context and structure of the relationship between the immediate situation and the underlying patters and context.
A SUMMARY
Personal
The goal of Conflict Transformation is to create processes through conflict. For this, Lederach identifies a number
Minimise harmful outcomes and maximise the potential individual people at physical, emotional, intellectual and
Relational
Minimise poor communication between people and maximise
Structural
Analyse the root causes and social conditions that give conflict; promote nonviolent methods to reduce confrontation eliminate violence; foster structures that meet basic needs maximise inclusion in decision making processes (procedural
Cultural
Understand cultural patterns that encourage violent expressions
Map of Conflict
In pursuit of these goals, Lederach breaks down the process and proposes the use of a “map of conflict.” For this map he suggests three main points of inquiry.
Inquiry One – The Presenting Situation
Here, Lederach embeds three levels of analysis, which he presents as spheres. At the centre he situates the ‘Issue.’ This is of course the immediate presenting issue from Lens One. This is then embedded within a second sphere which takes us into the underlying ‘Patterns’ and context (Lens two). Both these are then embedded within a third sphere that seeks to remind us that all that has been considered so far, comes with a ‘History.’
Inquiry Two – The Horizon of the Future
Again, Lederach presents us with a set of three embedded spheres. At the centre is ‘Solutions.’ This is the set of short term solutions to the immediate issue. Next is ‘Relationships’ and relates to the solutions that tackle problems in the underlying relationships. Finally, we have ‘Systems’ which forms the set of solutions related to systemic or structural change. Lederach notes that it is important to remember that this process is circular, so we may need to move through Inquiries One and Two more than once as some solutions may be imperfect or create new challenges or forms of conflict.
Inquiry Three – The Development of Change Processes
This inquiry focuses on the design and support of change processes. Lederach makes the point processes” plural, as it is important to utilise several interdependent enterprises. Once more he chooses to represent this inquiry as a set of embedded spheres. Sharing the centre is the series of immediate situations, and ‘Epicenter,’ the relevant patterns and context. The point of this inquiry is to ‘conceptualize multiple change processes that address solutions for immediate problems and at the same time processes that create a platform for longer-term change of relational and structural patterns.’ Around the ‘Episodic’ and ‘Epicentre’ sphere, Lederach presents four elements that must be attended to as a ‘web of interconnected needs,’ when developing any process for change. These are the Goals listed previously: ‘Personal,’ Cultural’ and ‘Structural.’
processes for constructive change of goals. These are:
potential for growth and wellbeing for and spiritual levels.
maximise understanding.
rise to harmful expressions of confrontation and minimise or needs (substantive justice) and (procedural justice).
expressions of conflict.
Chin UP
I once read a story about a German soldier who got separated from his patrol on the Russian front during World War Two. It was bitterly cold and the two sides were hunkered down several miles apart in the icy desolation of a Russian winter. Lost and disorientated, the poor German soldier stood on a landmine which blew both his legs clean off below the knee.
Alone and without any help, he knew he must act quickly in order to stay alive. So, he used the braces from his pants as tourniquets to wrap around each leg to stem the bleeding, and tore his shirt to use as bandages. Then he tied his two boots together using the laces: with the lower halves of his legs still in them! He slung his boots, legs and all, around his neck and crawled for miles through no-mans-land to get back to the German lines.
Needless to say, his legs couldn’t be saved. But he survived and was shipped home. The moral of this story is, “isn’t it amazing what lengths people will go to in order to stay alive?”
No Easy Life
I personally have had no easy life. As a child I was continually bullied and brutalised by my psychopathic drunk of a father. He often kicked and stamped on me during the night because my asthma attacks were keeping him awake. To this day I’ve got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) because of the way the monster treated me. I went to London to get away from him in my early twenties and only came back twenty-seven years later because my health was starting to fail. I ended up homeless on Dublin’s streets for years. I ’d also been diagnosed with irreversible lung disease as well as severe asthma and the Mater Hospital refused to put me on the transplant list as I may not survive the operation. For the last two years I’ve been using a power wheelchair to get around as I can’t walk far without getting very breathless and as a side effect of all the medication I take for my lungs, I’ve developed diabetes. I ’ve also got glaucoma which is incurable and I’m half blind in my right eye now.
In early July I had a nasty fall at home in my council flat. I fell whilst getting out of my wheelchair and the entire weight of my body landed on the chair’s control panel. The joystick went up into my spine like a bayonet and I lay on the floor calling for help for about half an hour. Then I must have blacked out because of the pain and I came around on the floor two hours later, freezing cold and absolutely saturated with blood. It was all around me in a puddle. Realising that I might die if I lost consciousness again I knew I had to get help. If I got hypothermia, along with shock, pain and blood loss, I might not survive the night.
So I dragged myself across the floor, bit by bit, stopping every foot or so to catch my breath and let the pain subside. After half an hour of this I reached the panic emergency alarm in my hallway and an ambulance was called. I had minor surgery to stem the bleeding, including a pump inserted into my back for six days and sealed with sixteen stitches. After three weeks in hospital I’m home in my council flat taking painkillers and getting my dressing changed every three days by the local public health nurse.
Fighter
With all the problems I’ve got it would have been easy to just give up: to just go back to eternal sleep on the floor. Yet I didn’t. I’ve always been a fighter and my basic personality took over. Believing that my life was still worth living I fought for it. And I won.
Isn’t it amazing what a person will go through to stay alive? You see, there’s always the chance that things will improve, that your life will get better and become enjoyable again. We all get periods of unhappiness when things seem hopeless but change may be just around the corner. So, chin up and carry on through the rainclouds of life for tomorrow, the sun may shine once again.
Traaaaaannnnssformativeart….
transformative
Art Transformative and Mu-
art is really hard to explain when you’re stuck in a creative rut. Lately I have found it difficult to put pen to paper, so! I have decided to put fingers to keyboards instead (less paper thrown away) in music, it takes something special to alter the state of mind you are in. A song you’ve heard a million times, on the millionth and one time playing you could hear the words a different way, you could experience a melody in a different light, you could change the meaning of a song for yourself. Well known indie band London Grammar have an album called “If You Wait” and on this album there is a song called “Wasting my young years” which has now taken a different meaning to me in the sense that I feel I have wasted my young years. I may only be 27 years old, but out of those years I have already spent just under 6 years in prison altogether.
“I’m wasting my young years”
And this song in beginnings has had many meanings. It has been played on days waiting to be sentenced contemplating the waste in the ways of my life. It has been along with me in the background, stuck in my mind at times, stuck in the idea of “I have wasted my life so far” and “this judge will tell me now how long I will have to waste it in prison cells and prison wings” and prison visits with loved ones wasting years, wasting a life that could have been, instead of one devoid of meaning… but that’s just it isn’t it
…there is meaning in the sense that the time is never wasted if you’ve used it to make yourself a better person, to change the way you think, and therefore the way you act… …and time, time has it’s own meaning for you whether you see it or not…
The fact that I have written, have experienced this all while listening to the album and song I am referring to is an example of how transformative art in the form of music can affect us as human beings. A song that has had many meanings for many years for me personally, now has new meaning.
*The next song plays*
“London Grammar – Sights”
“What are you afraid of?”… …”making it better”
“keep it in your sights now”… …”whatever the weather”
Where once it was a daunting, looming figure threatening to take any hope I may have clung to, 4 years later into this sentence my reflection on previous sentences on this time now, it’s completely different I’m no longer wasting my young years, I’m changing my future in place of erasing hope, this song is now a form of light I can walk towards. Despair may try and try but hope don’t rust, place this in your dreams, learn to trust that where there is hope we will try to find it in any form we may… there is a better day all you have to do is wait
*London Grammar- If you wait*
“If you wait……. I will trust in time that we will meet again”
So here’s to hope here’s to my dreams here’s to how we will meet again, me and life and here’s to how music, how one song heard many ways can change the way you say “I’m wasting my young years” prison is a part of your life so make it as good as you can
After all, what is it you’re afraid of?.... Making it better? and all of this from a few songs on one album...
This year was a record year for the Koestler Arts Awards on a number of different fronts. Over eight thousand entries were received from people around the UK, more than in any recent recorded year and a total of two thousand three hundred and fifty awards were given across fifty-two categories in two hundred and sixty-five settings.
Over the years, judges have included Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller, Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy, representatives from the Victoria & Albert Museum, the British Council, the National Theatre, Speech Debelle, and Louis Theroux.
This year’s event saw artists like Hot Chip (Computer Generated Music), Louise Galvin (Hairstyling) and Chelsea McDonagh (NonFiction, Blog, Essay, Article and Review) assess and give recognition to the skill, effort and ambition of artists in secure settings.
Locally seventy one awards were received:
Forty-Three in Magilligan Prison
Sixteen in Maghaberry Prison
Ten in Hydebank
One in The Shannon Clinic
One in the Community.
Fifty-two of these awards were achieved by PAF students and these comprised:
Two Platinum
Three Gold
Two Silver
Eight Bronze
Five Outstanding Debut
Seven Highly Commended
Twenty-Five Commended.
The awards were won across twenty-two different categories with an eclectic mix of styles and talents being recognised. These included a Platinum award for a Screenplay, a Gold award for Ceramics, and Commended awards for poetry, Graphic Design and a Life Story.
In addition to this great trove of accolades, a number of entrants were selected to be exhibited at the annual Koestler Southbank Exhibition whose title this year is Emergency.’ These pieces were ‘Tempest,’ a Singer-Songwriter Original which also won a Gold Award; ‘Moonlight City,’ a Painting; ‘Kaleidoscope,’ a poem; ‘Little Chair, matchstick model; ‘Girl with Golden Earring,’ a painting; and ‘Poppy,
Finally, a number of pieces of poetry were selected for publication in the Koestler Arts biennial anthology: ‘This Place,’ which also won a Silver award; ’Kaleidoscope; Poem,’ which received a Bronze award as part of a poetry collection entitled The following pages exhibit some of the amazing works that achieved success this year.
The Koestler deadline is usually in April and the coming year’s theme is get creating!
POETRY PAGES
Chain Poem
Countries all round the world in conflict and war War that separates and causes hate
Hate that manifests itself in bullets, bombs and murder Murder of the innocent and the guilty Guilty as we turn over the news.
- Bronze Award@PC
3 Magic Kisses
There is something important I think you should know It’s a secret for you, I can’t really show
I lay on my bed
About 12 every night I send you my love, before I turn out the light
I purse my lips together
And send you 3 kisses I send so many, in case one of them misses
They go up and out And into the skies
The weather can’t stop them, not that it tries
They travel far
And their aim is true They fly over the city just to get to you
They arrive at your house When you’re asleep in bed
Go straight through the window, onto your head.
- Commended Award@MF
Writer in the Room
Dark, dusty, smoked filled air, look hard enough, you’ll find him there. Spectacles on, a glass in hand, rules this thought-provoking land.
Racks his brain to find the words, them down, his thoughts are heard. Tension rises as do the stakes.
Full Stop.
The End. Is all it takes.
- Highly Commended Award@Maghaberry
This Place
We serve this sentence together. Against a landscape. Our shoulder blades held high. Under autumnal colour, Or smothered in summer sky
Mountains they surround us. But I never feel hemmed in. I paint them with my eyes, And draw them closer in.
Still, I get up in the morning. There is always something to do. And I think about this place a lot, When I think about you.
- Silver Award@DMC
Kaleidoscope
Through chaos, form, and function, A brave new world glimmers fleeting. Hidden through a lens unfocused, The geometry of the living appears.
- Highly Commended Award@Maghaberry
Split Decision — A poem about boxing
I’m training hard for a fight They say training is the hardest part And the fight is the easy part You need to be fit to last the rounds And bounce on your toes, ducking And weaving can tire you out A blow to the stomach can make it difficult
To breath. A jab to the chin and you will Win a point. Keep your guard up and elbows
Tucked in to protect yourselves and also Make it difficult for you opponent to score a point.
Some boxers use the jab a lot to connect with His opponent’s face. That’s just his style of boxing
Jab and move. Then some fighters use combinations
A lot. The punch you don’t see is the one that Knocks you out. The referee will Stand over you and give you a count
And hopefully you get up before number 10. Or the fight will be over with a knockout win.
- Commended Award@LL
POETRY PAGES
Hands on Hands (Extract)
Some friends are unknowing enemies, Their damage unintentional, With a lack of ill intent, help me to feel at peace… with demons who hold my hand.
the oceans, never quite as blue as they seem to be in movies and it seems like I could throw these thoughts as far as you see.
- Commended Award@PH
Due Date
The Things
We carry Missed birthdays and Christmases
With our children partners family
Lots of missed firsts
First steps, first days at And other important milestones
We carry Tooters and utensils to drugs
We carry
Addiction antisocial personalities
Mental health issues that our lives
The trauma of a society violent
We carry a
Heightened fight or response
Over reacting because our
Playing dice with her life, no longer an option, she welcomes the responsibility of motherhood, rubs and protects her tummy. Whilst walking away as the trouble echoes with the ringing of the jail bell.
Her mental health was so low as she lay alone in a bare and quiet cell but now she thrives as she can feel this bundle of joy move inside.
The due date has come and she can’t relax.
But when she sees her child it all makes sense.
She forgets her surroundings for a short while even though she’s handcuffed to a city hospital bed.
She knows it’s the rules to give away her child but her mother instincts shouts, “No, she’s mine.”
Her mental health plummets, as does her life.
The system tells her you cannot fight but a mothers instincts are always right.
- Highly Commended Award@WV
Things We Carry
don’t work right
Christmases partners and firsts at school milestones take our personalities that plague society that is flight our brains
We carry Fear but it makes us angry and lash out
We carry The broken hearts of everyone we left behind Especially the ones who are too young to Understand why We carry
A motivation to make things better
A reason to prove we have changed And mend those hearts we have broken If we can - Commended Award @PC
For the first time in a number of years, Barbering has been a winning category, with a local entrant taking a Bronze Award.
The Creative Writing Group Magilligan are proud to receive a Gold Award in Graphic Design from the Koestler Arts for Issues 18 and 19 of Time In.
RY GALLE
A: Eyes Wide Open – Commended Award - @Maghaberry, Donegal Cottage - Commended Award - @Maghaberry; B: A Colourful Experiment - Commended Award - @Hydebank; C: Robert De Niro –Bronze Award - @Maghaberry; D: Crazy Crew – Outstanding Debut Award - @Magilligan; E: Mountain at Dusk – Commended Award@MN; F: Jail Life - Commended Award - @AH; G: Little Chair H: Mountain Hills – Highly Commended Award - @MN; I: Moonlight City@CC; J: Funfair Carousel – Platinum Award - @Maghaberry; K: She Shone Out of the Crowd – Bronze Award - @Maghaberry; L: The Bag –Gold Award - @S.
WRITINGS
Buried Alive (extract)
I was buried alive for 3 days. It felt like weeks. A single day felt like weeks, the hours felt like days, I was terrified. I thought I was going to die. When I was buried alive, during the dark hours, I thought I saw mice, rats and foxes but I am not sure if I did, or if I was seeing things due to no food or water. The foxes checked me out and moved on. After day or two I started to pass in and out of consciousness. I came out of unconsciousness and saw a wee dog. Then a couple minutes later, I saw a wee women, she got on her hands and knees and dug my arms out. It took twenty minutes, maybe more, then I was able to climb out. I was very weak and tired, all I wanted was a drink and to go to bed. Within minutes there was police there, then shortly after that there were reporters, asking me all sorts of questions. I couldn’t answer, my head was wrecked. I just wanted sleep, I was absolutely wrecked, so I walked away from the scene. I kept walking, then a taxi pulled up beside me, the women that dug me out rang the taxi for me, and paid for it. God love her, she stayed in contact with me and until this day she writes me letters and cards at Christmas.
People often ask me ‘What was going through your head?’ At first I though these boys will never leave me here. But when night turned to day…I knew they weren’t coming back for me. Then you pray and mostly believe that you are going to die.
- Highly Commended Award@CS
Dreamin’
(Singer-Songwriter Original Lyrics)
I don’t know what I’ve done, done to deserve you Everything you’ve done for me, and all you still do Everything you’ve been for me, and all you still are I’m in deep for you, and that’s just so far
Have I any right to seek more Have I and right to try I don't know how you feel about me
But I just can’t deny I just can’t dent
I’m Dreamin’
Of a place far away from here
I’m Dreamin’
Of a place, a place where you are near
I don’t want to say its destiny, that somehow its meant to be
That’s just not what I believe, in the end its down to me I need to step up now, let the truth be told I don’t want to run away, I need to put it up don’t fold.
- Commended Award@JPW
Screwed
“I’ve thought long and hard about this case and decided I must impose a custodial sentence”.
The Judge’s mouth continued to move but I did not hear anything else he said, instead, I had to focus on keeping myself upright.
My legs felt heavy, yet my head was light. I could hear my heart banging in my ears and felt the cold sweat running down my back.
I kept telling myself I’d be ok but in truth I knew I was f****d.
Next thing I heard was a voice telling me to “come this way”. I turned to face a young man wearing the same uniform I’d worn proudly for the previous 6 years.
The feeling of sheer panic struck me next as it dawned on me, I was now going to be on the other side of the cell door.
As I was led out of the courtroom, I managed to lock eyes with my wife. Time stopped and allowed me to witness a pain in her that I’d never seen before. I wondered if it was caused by what she had heard in court or by the fact that I was going to prison.
I wished I could have given her a hug, a hug I needed as much as she did to be honest.
I blinked and our moment was gone.
- Outstanding Debut Award@Hydebank
Life is often inundated with a curious obsession to money and the monetary value we assign to goods and services. Seldom can one go more than sixty minutes in today’s consumer capitalist society without any reference to money. There are a number of contributing factors to this in my opinion. Greed for one. Our constant self-comparisons to the images of wealth and power conveyed on the media and social media being another. It is these factors that I believe people feel a constant need to chase a life full of monetary wealth. However, is money the be all end all?
I have been in prison for one month and one day. This pales in comparison to the remainder of my sentence and a drop in the ocean in comparison to many of my fellows I have encountered in my short time here.
32 days however, is time for reflection. Thoughts of wealth are replaced with thoughts of health. Will I still be able to see my older relatives upon release?
My name is BM and I am a chef. I first started chefing at eighteen, in Frames, in Belfast. I started as a glass collector and hated it, as the manger could never find me. I was helping the head chef, chef JT, the coolest chef I’ve ever worked with. He had the full chef suit on, the white jacket with the fat white studs, and the le chef trousers, black Croc shoes. He was an old-school chef with the big white tall hat which you don’t see much these days.
One Friday, the manager handed me my wage packet with my name on it and it said “kitchen”. I was buzzing. I started the next day. My first job was prepping ribs. I had about an hour to do them. JT handed me a meat clever that was half the size of me, I near dropped it.
I worked in Frames for three months. JT sent me to learn more at the John Hewitt bar. It was named after a poet, John Hewitt. It was a gastro pub, nice pub grub, a small kitchen, small menu. In the John Hewitt I found a passion for food, and respect for the job.
My aunt ‘Scooter’ had blonde, bleached, spiky hair. She was a great chef and she taught me how to use knifes the right way. Also, what knife done what job and to set up my section for service. I
In the short period I have realised it’s not particularly important on how you spend your money, but rather your time. In the next two years, I will miss my youngest siblings 18th birthday and my Father’s 50th. This may appear trivial and insignificant to some, but for me this at one stage would have been unimaginable.
My thoughts are now drawn to how to best to spend time. Time I have realized is, and always has been greater than wealth. From the second we’re born, until the second we depart, every second, every minute we spend is important. With money we can acquire the newest car and the biggest house, but can you go back and see your child’s first steps or a parent’s last breath if you miss them?
It is up to the individual how they spend their time. It can be wasted or put to use. Time is ultimately our eternal currency. Money can be earned or spent, won or lost, time however will keep marching on.
- Silver Award -
@SMcC
loved service, the heat, the shouting, the flames, and most importantly the crack. It was a buzz, a drug on its own.
I left the Hewitt after a year, and started working round restaurants in Belfast city centre, from pub grub to fine dining. I was working 6 days a week and over sixty hours a week, not realising I had started drinking a lot more, and my tolerance for cocaine was very high. I was taking it as soon as I opened my eyes, and last thing at night taking sleeping tablets or weed to sleep, and coke to wake up. I tried Addiction Northern Ireland twice and it didn’t work. I don’t think I wanted to stop to be honest.
I am 32 now, serving a fifteen month sentence in Magilligan for control of supply. I am using prison as rehab centre and a school. I am not one for sitting and thinking, prison is a second chance. To me addiction is like a shadow, it’s always there but help is out there. Being in prison has changed me very quickly, it’s made me realise that it’s the smalls things in life that count, and who counts like family and friends. I know when I am released I will be a different knowing. I don’t want to see jail ever again. I am going start my own business as a wall and floor tiler, I am currently doing tiling in Magilligan.
- Commended Award -
@BMG
Transformative art is the use of art to initiate, facilitate or focus change in people or society.
Art has transformed so much over the millennia that is hard for me to pinpoint where to even start, which means I am in danger of repeating what I have said in previous articles.
Art used to be scribbles on walls in caves, then morphed into the multi-faceted art world we see today. For the last number of years, art on the outside has moved on again to become largely digital, and what a transformation that has been: what with handheld devices, NFT’s, and more recently A.I. generated art. As far as transformation goes, I think I have nailed the point on that!
For me personally, the transformation in myself through art has been immense. I started off doing graffiti when I was really young which helped me escape the rough place I was living in. About 20 of us from a local ‘writing crew’ used to gather and head to the train yards and spray really big pieces on trains – sometimes 2 full carriages long – with a big slogan, usually bigging up our crew or some social message.
That was the early introduction to art for me. Eventually, I started doing my own pieces as time moved on and I got better at it! Then came murals on people’s homes and businesses and shortly after that I put my hand to tattooing which came naturally to me.
I was deeply involved in all kinds of art at that stage of my life and then tragedies struck me which sent me off the rails and I downward-spiralled into addiction.
Since then art has significantly helped me beat my addiction issues by constantly painting and devoting all my spare time to researching and continually looking for new ways to be creative. Now at this stage of my life I hope to be released in the next few years out to a society which I will hope will appreciate the art I will be doing and not who I was in the past! That is a snippet of my life story and how art has transformed me from my darkest days to my place of tranquillity in which I reside today.
Women in sport have always taken a back seat with few being in the public eye and perhaps the exceptions being the Williams’ sisters, Sonia O’Sullivan, Zola Budd and Mary Peters from Northern Ireland to name only a few. In more recent years, the likes of Jessica EnnisHill, Victoria Pendleton, Katherine Grainger, Nicola Adams, Hannah Cockcroft and Ellie Simmonds have become household names as they were rightly lauded for their gold-medal exploits in the Olympics and Paralympics.
Women’s sport has widely grown in the past decade, particularly football with female England players being awarded professional contracts. Their matches are now being shown on terrestrial TV channels compared to 2011 when they were shown on the BBC red button.
In the Women’s Super League (the female equivalent of the men’s Premier League) to attend a match is only £9 whereas the men’s is £65, even at this low price women’s tickets seldom sellout. It’s a wonder the female clubs are managing to survive, as ticket sales pay a big part in keeping them afloat in terms of funding.
In 2019 the BBC launched the #changethegame campaign to showcase female athletes this gave live rights to the football and netball World Cups, World Athletics and World Gymnastics Championships, ‘we turned the volume up on women’s sport and altered perceptions and it worked with more than 45 million people, consuming women’s sport content across television, radio and online.’
Although we have come a long way in the past 10 years, governing bodies need to invest more in women. Sponsorship, pay and prize money need to be increased as well there also needs to be more female coaches, officials and representation on board.
There have been many remarkable sporting moments over the past 10 years but what I have respected is the number of sportswomen prepared to use the power of their profiles and platforms to call out injustices and inequality.
The Williams sisters have both been active voices in the fight for race and gender equality. Simone Biles talked openly about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of USA gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar, Megan Rapinoe and her World Cup-winning colleagues took on their own federation demanding equal pay and Allyson Felix highlighted the maternity policy hypocrisy of Nike, they are only a few amongst many others who have put their heads above the parapet to improve the future for others.
I’ll end this Article using the words of Fifa Women’s Player of the year Megan Rapinoe on her thoughts about the next decade for women’s sport after 1.2 billion people tuned in around the globe to watch this summer’s Women’s World Cup. “We changed the game,” She said. “But is it enough? No way, Man, this is only the start!” @GM
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Finding My Wild
by Kathy Donaghy (2023
0’Brien
Press) (Book Review)
Kathy describes her childhood and teenage years on the Inishowen Peninsula in Co. Donegal. The reader enters a world of happy family memories with the backdrop of mountains, woods and the wild Atlantic.
Donaghy leaves this life behind when she enrols at Maynooth to study English and French however travelling home every weekend. In her last year of study an anxiety and unhappiness takes hold.
“I didn’t see it coming or recognise the warning signs it seemed to descend like a dense fog I couldn’t do something simple like get myself out of bed.”
After going through periods of exhaustion and social isolation she was diagnosed with depression. With the help of counselling she found her feet again reigniting her love of nature, her roots and her family.
Donaghy goes on to work in journalism and on her journey meets her future husband Richard who is also a journalist working with the Sunday Tribune. They both
share a love of the outdoors and travel. Living in Dublin they reach a time in their lives when they decide to start a family. During this period between the birth of their first son Dallan and second Oirghiall, Kathy starts to question:
“Even though I had worked very hard as a journalist to get to a certain level an uneasiness had set in a restlessness, was this all there was? We had a good solid existence what more could you want?”
The conclusion, return to Inishowen to nature to a simple life. Like Thoreau deciding to live in the cabin at Walden Pond to get away from the fast pace of town life in 19th century Connecticut.
Kathy considers the meaning of career path, success, the eternal questioning as to what do you do.
A constant pressure to reconcile this with a desire to live a meaningful family life with an appreciation of nature.
These dilemmas have been faced particularly post famine by the majority of Irish people and, as Kathy alludes to her family was not immune. The destruction of a way of life especially language and culture. People moving to the cities both within Ireland and abroad. As their small plots became unviable they sell the only thing they have that is their labour. From this a new structure develops and with belief systems aligned with production, consumption, work, Idleness, reward, punishment etc.
The dilemmas faced by the author reminiscent of Orwell’s perspective on beggars:
“Why are beggars despised ?[…] for they are despised universally. I believe it is for the simple reason that they fail to earn a decent living. In practice nobody cares whether work is useful or useless. In all the modern talk about energy, efficiency, social service and the rest of it what meaning is
is mindful that she is fortunate with established resources and 3mb broadband to embark on this journey. In a period when remote working was very much conceptual.
However when trying for a third child the author suffers a series of miss carriages, she vividly describes the pain, trauma and a further descent into self-doubt and distress.
“By now an almost madness had descended on me. I had become obsessive about becoming pregnant. I snarled and shouted at anyone who was pregnant.”
This inferno was further stoked as if by a malignant invisible hand when we read of the death of Richard’s brother by suicide. There is a picture of an individual being broken apart and potentially a once happy family unit.
A re-encounter with the ocean and its wildness, uncertainty and strength saves Kathy and her family. Giving a perspective to the uncertainty of life but giving forth a calmness of heart and a contentment to realise people get through things not just surviving but living life to the full. @FD
GOINGS ON
Director General Beverley Wall, along with PAF, Belfast Met & NIPS staff attendedthe opening night of an exhibition of art by students at Hydebank Wood College & Women’s Prison on 19th September 2023, Newtownbreda Library, Belfast. The exhibition was open to the public, during library opening hours, from 20th September – 21st October 2023.
The ‘Embracing Emotions, Inspiring Hope’ exhibition, featured in the last edition of Time In, was in Omagh, from 2nd – 31st October.
Advance copies of ‘Enduring Words’ will be received by five writers whose work was selected for the Arkbound anthology on 23 November. The collection will be available to the general public from December 1 2023 and can be bought via www.arkbound.com/ product
STEP
At 15, I had dreams of travelling the world, having a family, a nice car…. everything that I suppose a normal person dreamed of at that age. But what was it that made my life spiral out of control? Why did I not follow those dreams or at least have a go at them? I think from that age I stopped pushing myself, stopped trying. I was afraid of failing, so much so that it made me not even have a go. I’d got comfortable and accepted a third-rate life.
I sat and thought about the people around me, the people I’d met over the years and thought about how we were just doing the same things over and over. We get up and go to work. We get home and fall asleep in front of the TV. Then, we get up and do it all over again, begging for the weekend to come. When that arrives, we get drunk in the same
places with the same people. So many people I looked at were older, in their 60s & 70s, and they’d spent their entire lives in this endless routine. The more I thought of it, the more it scared the hell out of me. I did not want another 30 years to pass, to then one day look back and realise I’d done nothing. I started to think about how much I would regret it if I let myself do the same thing and piss my life up against the wall.
It was like a switch flicked in my mind: my view on life changed instantaneously. I no longer felt the world was against me. I realised that, if I wanted my life to change, then
home, I had a phone call: I started work in the morning! I was laying the foundations for the life to come, one small step at a time and, before I knew it, everything else just started falling into place. My luck had changed in an instant and it all stemmed from a thought and change of mind set.
Another change I made was swapping one bad habit at a time for a positive one. Filling my time with positive habits so that I wasn’t getting time to sit around and get bored was the key to everything. I began with the gym, then started different classes and from that I discovered that I loved trying new things, I loved getting out of my comfort zone and doing things I wasn’t so good at rather than
Ihad to change. I stood up and began tidying my flat, cleared away the empty bottles, got washed and shaved, while continuously thinking over and over about what I needed to do. By the time my flat and I were clean, so was my mind. Things were clearer, I did not know exactly how to do it, but I knew what not to do.
I made a plan and wrote it down, just small things at first, small steps, small adjustments. Firstly, I needed routine, I needed a job. So, first thing in the morning I would get up and get the first bus to town and start looking for work. I called into the job centre and 3 temp agencies and, on the bus ride
STEP
just sticking to the things I knew. I still had that same nervous feeling and doubt in myself as before. I would get in the car and the whole journey I’d be telling myself to turn around and go home. Or turn up to things I’d signed up for when brave but sit outside in the car trying to think of excuses not to go in. But I forced myself and after a while I noticed that I actually began to enjoy that nervous feeling. The sensation of accomplishing and nailing my fear made me feel amazing and I realised that nervousness was just part of the process.
Soon I started signing up for things that really scared me, things I could never have dreamt of doing. I was scared of heights, so I signed up for mountain climbing and a sky-dive. I was afraid of sea water, so I signed up for cave snorkelling.
Now this story isn’t all sunshine and roses because as I write this I do so from jail. I made a few mistakes along the way. After 8 years my life was flying but, when lockdown kicked in and everywhere closed, I found myself with no job and bored, so I made the mistake of allowing myself to have a drink and, within 18 months, everything I’d worked so hard for was gone, to the point where I lost my freedom.
The thing is now that I’ve shown myself what I can really do and that I can turn everything around. I believe it has made starting again much easier. So, here I am, throwing myself into classes, doing things I never thought I could do again and smashing it. With time to think and reflect I had set myself a great foundation in my early 30s. But I wasn’t prepared for
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Turning Pages
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If you are interested in improving your reading or becoming a Mentor speak to landing staff, Andrea in the library or any of the Learning and Skills staff.
Developing Capacities
Lederach complements his discussion of conceptual ideas with more practical concerns. He talks of the importance of developing personal capacities that would assist in the application of Transformative concepts.
1. See Presenting Issues as a Window
Here he talks of the requirement that we develop our ability to defy the urge to act immediately, to resist the ‘urgency that pushes for a quick solution’ and avoid being ‘captivated, overwhelmed or driven by the demands of the presenting issues.’ He lists three key subskills:
An ability to see beyond the immediate presenting issues;
An empathy that enables you to understand others’ situation but to avoid the inertia created by their fears;
A capacity to create responses that take seriously the presenting issues but are not driven by the search for a quick fix.
2. Integrate Multiple Timeframes
This relates to the ability to avoid thinking in exclusively short- or long-term timeframes. He advocates using a variety of timescales and argues the need to be comfortable with doing so. He states, ‘we must be short-term responsive and long-term strategic.’ This will involve setting out targets that might comprise multi-year timescales alongside those that will be acted upon within the days, weeks or months ahead.
3. Pose Energies of Conflict as Dilemmas
Lederach talks of the ‘energies of conflict’ being the contention between short-term relief measures and long-term strategic measures, and our tendency to see one as potentially undermining the other. He advocates shifting our thinking from a ‘one or the other’ mind-set, to a ‘both/and’ one. He puts stock in the phrase ‘and at the same time’ to link the conflicting energies. He promotes recognising ‘the legitimacy of different, but not incompatible, goals and energies within the conflict setting.’ In embracing complexity, he argues, it is possible to appreciate you are dealing with different but interdependent aspects of a complex situation. This leads to the development of interdependent goals. This is summed up in the simple formula, ‘How can we address “A” and at the same time build “B.”’
4. Embrace Complexity
Complexity can at times feel overwhelming. The challenge is to find a way to make it a ‘friend rather than a foe.’ Lederach points out that while it can create a feeling of ‘too much,’ it can also provide us with a multitude of possibilities for creating change. If we choose to embrace this, we can be the ‘kid in a candy store.’ He lists as key:
Trust a systems ability to generate options;
Pursue those that hold greatest promise for constructive change.
5. Hear and Engage Voices of Identity
Lederach notes that often there are voices of identity that sometimes struggle or become lost. He states that, in his experience, issues of identity are at the root of most conflicts. Therefore, he argues that a ‘capacity to understand and respect the role of identity is essential to understanding the epicenter of conflict.’ Identity can shape the expression of conflict as it goes to the heart of how people see themselves and how they relate to others. Despite this fundamental relationship to conflict, it is often missed when possible solutions are being constructed.
Conclusion
The framework Lederach sets out, from his Lenses for analysing conflict, through his Map of Conflict, to the capacities needed for its application, provides a good grounding for efforts to create a global society that has moved on from violent and destructive interrelations. It paves the way for the adopting of a creative approach to solutions, which are responsive, constructive and ultimately nonviolent. @JPW
A Day In The
TODAY I’M FEELING REALLY LOW. This is not a new feeling. I have suffered from depression ever since I was a teenager. That doesn’t mean that I’ve been sad for the past twenty years. There has been plenty of good times, but sometimes it has been really dark and I have felt lost. It is important to remember that having bad days is a natural part of life, but when those days turn into weeks, months or years something is wrong. I stopped enjoying things like spending time with friends or going out, and I tried to shut myself away from the world. I started being really hard on myself, and blaming myself for a lot things that that were not my fault. I lost my appetite, and began putting on a lot of weight, and I didn’t have the energy or motivation to exercise and because of this my self-confidence took even more of hit.
At the time I didn’t recognise what was happening, and I didn’t want to admit to myself that I wasn’t well, at least mentally. Instead I thought that there was something wrong with my physical health. I did visit my GP on a number of occasions looking for the answers, and a few times he asked me about my mood. ‘Everything is good.’ That was a lie, but in the moment I genuinely believed I was telling the truth.
As things got worse, I couldn’t concentrate on my education or work, and I failed exams. I thought that I was just stupid. I became tearful, and began having panic attacks over trivial things. It was nearly impossible to get over to sleep at night, and when I did manage to sleep, I was waking up early. I was permanently exhausted. Looking back on that time now, I remember praying every night that I would simply not wake up the next morning, or ever again.
It was a few years more before something happened, and I saw a psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with a severe form of recurrent depression, and I was started on anti-depressants. I was angry at myself for needing medication to manage my own emotions. The effects were not immediate. It took months before I noticed any change. One of the first times I noticed that they were working was when a friend I was with tried to sit down on a chair but missed it and hit the floor. I laughed, and I won’t apologise for that. It was funny. This was the first time that I had laughed so easily and spontaneously in as long as I could remember. I laughed so hard that I cried. I remember afterwards I thought how strange it felt to laugh like that.
I have been on the medication for a few years now, and I am in a much better headspace, generally speaking. But it has been a long road, and even after working with mental health and taking medication, there has still been low days, but thankfully they don’t happen as much anymore, and the dark periods are shorter. I enjoy things now. I am not angry at myself when I do have down days. The most important thing for me was recognising that how I was feeling was not normal, and not being afraid of asking for help from professionals, and from my family and friends. I was not alone even though at the time it felt like I was. Life is good now and I enjoy it as much as I can. Yes, today I’m feeling low, but I can see now that tomorrow is brighter.
Have you ever wondered and felt angry why so many people today are starving or struggling to pay for food when food literally grows from the soil?
Well then you have probably heard of or would like to hear of the concept of Guerrilla gardening. Guerrilla gardening is the act of growing food or even just plants for show on all the land around you that isn’t being used or being neglected. Like a roadside full of grass that could hold any amount of freshly grown vegetables. Or an empty garden in an abandoned house.
Of course there will always be someone to tell you NO! That ground belongs to the council or government which you Know to be absurd as the same spot has probably been nothing but an eye sore to you and your community for years.
This is where Guerrilla gardening comes in. It’s where a group of people who share the belief that people shouldn’t be starving needlessly and then decide to transform the area either in the night time in the cover of darkness or in the day time for publicity to make a statement.
Guerrilla gardening groups have been popping up all over the world with the common belief that one should be able to roam the world and come across free food.
In Australia there are groups called Permablits who design and construct vegetable gardens for free in an effort to educate locals in how to grow their own food.
The earliest Guerrilla gardeners were Gerrard Winstanly from Surrey England back in 1649 and John ‘apple seed’ from America Ohio back in 1801.
But the actual term Guerrilla gardening wasn’t recorded publicly until 1973 when a woman called Lizz Christy’s green Gorilla group transformed a derelict private lot into a garden at Bowery Houseton area of New York. The area to this day is still looked after by locals and also has the protection of the City’s park department. So it just goes to show what a difference people can make once they stand together. Imagine how abundant the world would be with food if everyone took the same stance as the Guerrilla gardeners
Guerrilla Gardening today has put its mark on 30 different countries worldwide which people can follow and support on social media.
Did You Know?
William Wordsworth’s trademark poem ‘I wandered lonely as a cloud’ is renowned for its opening line. First published in 1807, the line became the de facto title of the poem, which originally carried none. The poem, in many ways, conveys the archetypal spirit of the Romantic Movement’s spirit. These writers called attention to a personal affiliation with nature.
There is a rumour that Wordsworth first wrote ‘I wandered lonely as a cow’ and it was his sister Dorothy who advised him to alter this. He often consulted with Dorothy on his writing and she provided editorial direction. According to Interesting Literature (online) ‘though it’s a nice story: the myth may have originated in Conrad Aiken’s 1952 novel Ushant.’
Here in Magilligan we too have heard a rumour that a daffodil garden has been planted in the gardens. As we move through the dark days of winter what better way to see nature transform into spring than with a ‘never ending line’ of daffodils.
Factoids: Narcissus pseudonarcissus also known as common daffodil or trumpet narcissus, are bulb-forming plants native to northern Europe and grown in clement climates worldwide. A perennial that grows to approximately 41 cm (16 inches) in height. Daffodils were introduced into gardens around 300BC and were brought here by the Romans.
When someone dies we can feel a lot of emotions including being abandoned, angry, guilty, shocked and sad. Talking about how you feel whensomeonehasdiedcan help.
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Transformation
Ask yourself do you want to be sitting with the same old faces doing the same old thing?
Or do I want the life I know I deserve?
Replace bad habits with good habits and surround yourself with likeminded, driven, positive people as this will make your journey so much easier and be a real help on your days of struggle.
There will be times you want to give up and go back to what you know, because even though you know it’s bad for you and not where you want to be, it’s where you feel comfortable because it’s the life you’ve been used to for many years and you know your place within it.
Ask yourself regularly, when I look back over my life, what will I regret most?
For most it is the chances they did not take, or the opportunities they turned their back on, because of fear of the unknown.
A particular thank you to contributors from Hydebank, Maghaberry and The Shannon Clinic for their wonderful work.
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Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) is a registered charity that seeks to provide access to the arts for people who have offended in Northern Ireland. Our mission is to inspire creativity and encourage personal and social change in offenders within the criminal justice system, through the arts.
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