Time In Issue 20

Issue 20, Summer 2023

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Time In

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t is such an honour to be asked to be a guest editor for Time In, especially an issue that marks a decade of the publication. As a member of Magilligan’s Creative Writing Group, it means a lot to me that this issue celebrates the achievements of everyone involved in the creative arts in Magilligan.

In the past twelve months, there have been 35 awards won by the writers, artists and musicians in our prison: a tribute to the inspirational talent that prisoners have. Some of this year’s winners are included in this issue, as well as some bespoke work in the Poetry Pages. As a guest editor, I have had the pleasure of reflecting on the past decade for guidance on this venture, and as part of the decennial celebrations, Time In is proud to announce that over the past ten years there has been an astounding 195 awards issued by Koestler, Listowel, Arkbound and Prison Reform Trust. This in itself is a testimony to the encouraging and fruitful atmosphere within the Prison Art’s classes in Magilligan, and equally as important, the invaluable contributions of the facilitators.

This issue’s theme is meditation, and having personal experience of mental health problems, I know first-hand the importance of being mindful and self-aware, and taking the opportunity to self-reflect in order to gain inner peace. Personally, finding my voice through creative writing and music has helped me achieve my equilibrium.

Using the creative arts as a “therapy” tool is a long established practice, and activities such as music therapy and art are commonplace in contemporary mental health services. Many of us are troubled by heavy burdens and trauma, and it can be overwhelming and difficult to make sense of everything. Using the creative arts can help people bring order to the chaos and also share their experiences in order to help other people. Getting lost in art, whether

it is a story, a poem or with a canvas, brings a sense of serenity and hypnosis, and we embrace a meditative state. On reflection, I began working in Creative Writing and music with no artistic talent and it is satisfying seeing my personal growth up to this point.

It is not just the creative arts that can contribute to an overall sense of well-being. Spending time outdoors in nature, with animals and wildlife, or playing sports, also has a positive imprint on your mental health.

Similarly, while we may not necessarily enjoy education, the sense of achievement that we gain from learning and succeeding serves to promote our sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

Serendipitously, 10 years after its inception, Time In is able to celebrate the wonder that is Pamela Brown, and recognise her labours and efforts. I would like to congratulate her on her outstanding success in the Pearson’s Trust Awards and express my continued hope that contributions are duly recognised, as well as personally thanking her for all the support and encouragement she has given me. I would also like to extend my gratitude to all the contributors, and PAF, for making this task of editing so enjoyable.

DON Guest Editor Editor’s Note: Time In, issue 1 was first published (summer) 2013, the current edition, issue 20, reaching a significant ten-year milestone. This is the first occasion we have commissioned a prisoner guest editor who has played a vital role in curating the highquality contributions, and driving the review process for this special issue publication. The success of this model endorses the dedication, professionalism and vision of our guest editor whose efforts and commitments we truly appreciate, thereby setting a standard and template for future Time In guest editors.

Pamela Mary Brown Writer-in-Residence, Magilligan.

Acknowledgements: Sincere thanks are offered to all who played a part in the creation of this magazine. It would not have been possible without the support of Governor Gary Milling, all of the Prison Arts Foundation Staff, the librarian Andrea and staff in On Point Printing. Sincere appreciation is extended to all of the teachers and prison educators who supported their students as they created their submissions. Particular gratitude is offered to the in-house artist, RMcA, for the bespoke cover art.

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Issue 20, Summer 2023

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Time In

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editation is about mindfulness. To meditate is to quiet the mind by focusing on something.

Your mind and thoughts are always flowing, whether you’re consciously aware of it or not. To quiet your mind some would think, ‘sure I will just think about nothing,’ but this is actually impossible. Try now even for just 10 seconds to think about absolutely nothing. You will see yourself that it is impossible. Your brain is constantly processing thoughts, good and bad, and this, in turn this affects your nervous system. To quiet your mind and take back control, you must focus on something.

ORIGINS About 2600 years ago, this very concept became part of a spiritual journey called Buddhism. The Buddha, a man who left all his riches behind, believed in meditative concentration, alongside proper ethical conduct and the wisdom of seeing things as they truly are, as a way to awakening or enlightenment. He saw that all material possessions could not bring happiness and that true happiness or enlightenment would come from quieting the mind.

He started to teach and practice the art of meditation which has lived on to this very day and is seen by professionals to be a very mindful practice. Millions of people today still see his teachings as a spiritual journey. Some people do meditation for mental health reasons and can be seen in Yoga, Mindfulness and Sitting Meditation.

HOW TO DO SITTING MEDITATION 1. Sit comfortably. Sit on the floor with folded legs, hands resting on your knees with your thumbs and index fingers touching.

2. Focus on something. The most common method is to try and stay focused on your breath. Your breath is always going to be there and it never stops which is why it’s perfect to use. Stay in the moment as best you can, think and feel nothing but the air passing up your nostrils and into your chest. Then feel the air leave your body as your rib cage and stomach starts to naturally move back in.

3. Keep your mind focused on this for a set time. At the start, try 5 minutes. Set an alarm.

4. When things enter your mind to break your focus, and they will, calmly bring your attention back to your breath. The more you practice meditating the longer your focus will stay without breaking.

5. Check and make sure your body is completely relaxed as your stomach and ribcage move naturally with your breath.

This, to some, doesn’t sound like much but what is going on inside your body is phenomenal. Well practiced mediators can become so relaxed that their low Page 4

heart and pulse rates can still surprise health professionals. When you meditate, you focus your mind which means your thoughts and subconscious are no longer affecting your nervous system. Even beginner meditators can feel the joyful, relaxed peace of mind that it brings. >>WV

Issue 20, Summer 2023

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was released from prison and was full of anxiety, fear and depression: all the negative emotions that build up inside us when stressful situations arise, and which, if not properly dealt with, can escalate into negative behaviours and habits like drug or alcohol use.

I applied for free gym membership through my doctor which would give access to any leisure centre but unfortunately the first appointment was a couple of weeks away and I couldn’t afford membership on my own yet.

CSN Whilst talking to my support worker from Start360 I was informed of an organisation called Community Sports Network (CSN) that offer a range of things including boxing sessions twice-a -week, football, weights and, every Thursday, different things like hiking, kayaking, mountainbike riding and other fun and adventurous ways to exercise that get you out into nature.

WELCOME AND RELAXED I am a nervous and shy person that gets in my own head too much, so I struggle with building up the confidence to try new things like joining a group to do the boxing class but I got in touch with a man called Billy and he said we could meet him at the Ballysillan Boxing Club or at the CSN office on Townsend Street and he would drive us. Everyone I met was incredibly friendly.

Billy, the CSN staff and the other participants made me feel incredibly welcome and relaxed.

FIRST DAY Around ten of us began warming up, running around the gym and doing things like jumping jacks and stretches to get ready. My cardio is terrible and I was honestly worried about keeping up. I definitely struggled but did my best to keep going. The workout itself was intense including: punching the bag, working on our movements, body weight exercises and more. Billy gave everyone plenty of encouragement while he did the workouts with us.

LETTING GO OF NEGATIVITY It pushed me and at one point I thought I was going to be sick, but the more I punched, the more I moved. The more I did, the better I felt.

The stress escaped each time I hit the bag. I wasn’t worrying about money or where I would stay tonight. I focused on the task at hand and doing that to the best of my ability which was in no way the best in the gym but I didn’t stop and I could feel positivity creeping back into me as I exercised out the negativity.

IF I CAN DO IT ...

When it was over, covered in sweat and still struggling to breathe, I felt amazing. Not just positive but at peace. It was a high gained not from chemicals or anything harmful but from hard work. I was far from the next world champion but I did my best. I pushed myself and never gave up or tried to take the easy way. That feeling followed me all day and into the next. I walked taller and prouder, which, as anyone with mental health problems or addiction knows, is a rarity. We don’t like ourselves enough to be proud of our accomplishments. We are our own worst enemies and toughest critics, putting ourselves down and never giving ourselves a break, but that day I did. I can’t wait for the next session now. So please, if you are struggling and need help, come along and do what you can. If I can do it, so can you.>>PC

“It was a high gained not from chemicals or anything harmful but

from hard work.”

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Time In

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Pamela Brown

veryone on the Time In team, and the wider creative writing participants were delighted to hear the news that Pamela Brown, Writer-inResidence for Creative Writing in Magilligan with both Prison Arts Foundation and NWRC, had been shortlisted for the Pearson’s Trust National Teaching Awards Further Education Lecturer of the Year, aimed at ‘recognising her outstanding commitment to changing lives at HMP Magilligan, every day.’

They were even prouder when it was announced that Pamela had won the Silver Award, and has been further shortlisted for the Gold Award, to be announced in November at a gala ceremony in London, which will be broadcast on the BBC. Pamela is an invaluable resource within the prison. Not only has she taught us to improve our writing skills which lead to a record number of Koestler Arts awards each year as well as Listowel and Arkbound writing competitions, but she creates a safe space where we can all express ourselves. Her understated demeanour and quiet temperament nurtures all talent, from beginners to seasoned writers. We had the pleasure of interviewing Pamela to find out more about her.

Tell me about yourself ?

I grew up in County Donegal in a rural community. I had two very strong matriarchal grandmothers, who were very kind also, and taught me how to navigate my own path through life. When I studied theatre at the University of Ulster, I meet with Augusto Boal from Brazil who set up Theatre of the Oppressed and Barney Simon, founder member of the Market Theatre in Johannesburg. Both of these people had a profound impact on how I understood art as a powerful insight into highlighting social issues.

Why did you decide to teach in Magilligan Prison?

I was invited to teach in Magilligan, initially for 12 weeks to deliver OCNs through the Artskills project, in 2011. The project was funded until 2015 and then I was offered the Writer-inResidence position through Prison Arts Foundation (PAF). Later, the North West Regional College advertised a Creative Writing position, re-establishing the accreditation in Creative Writing among other creative modules. I readily took up this position.

What do you think is the most rewarding part of your job?

Passing on my enthusiasm for all forms of writing and also as life skills strategy. As a child, I had a deep connection to literature, and writing in all forms became my trusted companion. I found great solace in books which gave me knowledge, empathy, peace of mind, and ways to challenge my opinions, personal growth, escape, as well as for exploring the world. Seeing a person’s reaction to the work they create is always very rewarding, and while writing supports literacy which is a major feature for many of my students: there is also the insight into the creative dynamic which they gain.

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Photo © Jan Voster

Issue 20, Summer 2023

Other projects are you involved in?

I’ve worked on many many arts projects and with the Playhouse in Derry. In 2021, I designed a training programme and manual ‘Methodologies for Storytelling Workshops’ which is used by Theatre of Witness and Theatre Peacebuilding Academy (for guiding participants in facilitating Leaders for Peace workshops). Another project I’m really proud of is Questions of Legacy a ‘narrative archive’, podcasts interviews with six members from the Belfast WAVE trauma group taking part in the podcast interviews and corresponding book.

How does it feel to be shortlisted?

I was surprised, respectful, and very pleased as well as thoughtful of everyone who supported the nomination.

You are a writer yourself. Tell me about your own work?

I’m a writer across different genres, and as a teacher I believe I’ve benefited from a broad set of skills and arts engagement. I’ve had two plays produced. One went to the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh. I’ve had many poems anthologized over the years including in Ireland, the UK and the US. I’ve also read and performed work at literary festivals, as well as at Electric Picnic and Glastonbury, especially my spoken word poems. I’ve had short stories published and done a lot of editorial work.

Collaboration is a way to learn about further art forms and styles, and I’ve certainly cowritten with other authors. Another project, I’m really proud of is ‘The Eye of the Horse’ a photographic and Poetry Exhibition, Ireland and Holland. 22 poems corresponding with landscape photographs by Dutch Photographer Jan Voster.

Have you ever won any prizes?

I was part of a writing and production team that won the Scanbitz Short Film Challenge, Clones Film Festival, receiving the Audience Award and Francie Trophy (named after ‘Francie Brady’, author Pat McCabe’s protagonist in The Butchers Boy). The challenge was to cast, rehearse, scout the locations, shoot, and edit a short film in 48 hours. Also, I was runner up in the Belfast Poets Cup in 2007. >>DON

Granny Poem My granny would swear if she were here that she was the first woman in Donegal to wear trousers— My granny would swear if she were here because she liked to curse and drink smoke two cigarettes at a time and shit stir read poems so she could spoon feed me with rhyme— Hail Mary full of grace… (and gin and vodka and whiskey, especially the whiskey) My granny would spit and curse not comply for all her worth an outlaw in the universe lived ‘til she was ninety three and still went down fighting— My granny drove her family crazy harassed them at every opportunity for she knew the indignity of being a burden but she would not surrender to helpless beholden— My granny broke everyone’s heart but her own in touch with her inner witch she would damn all those who damn and taught me that freedom of expression is enough to keep you sane enough to rattle the conceit chains of those ties that bind you— My granny would swear if she were here and unleash a tirade of expletives on me if I did not face into the wind of conformity and did not distribute with generosity the richness of her cursing legacy. © Pamela Mary Brown

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Time In

2023 Presentation Day for Koestler Arts

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anuary 26 was a presentation day for the Koestler Arts winners 2022. The event, made possible by the efforts of the Prison Arts Foundation (PAF), was a celebration of all the writers and artists who had received awards from Koestler Arts. The honours ranged from ‘Commended’ Awards all the way up to ‘Platinum,’ the latter accompanied by a £100 prize. It was a significant day for the artists in Magilligan Prison: for three reasons.

END TO COVID RESTRICTIONS irstly, it was one of the first event to be held since the onset of the Coronavirus Pandemic.

Heavy restrictions in place throughout the prison estate meant that for several years, such gatherings had been stopped. On top of this, access to workshops was irregular and strictly limited.

This meant a lot of the work was created without the usual support, giving further testament to the creativity, talent and resilience of those involved.

FAMILY INVOLVEMENT Secondly, each winner was allowed by the prison to invite two family members to join them. Accommodated in the prison’s main visiting room, a normalised atmosphere was maintained with artists and family members able to freely mingle, discuss the successful artworks, and meet others involved in the arts in the prison. Refreshments were provided by the prison’s kitchens.

MUSIC Finally, the event entailed live music.

Rejecting the simple concept of speech after speech, musicians from within the prison played a small set that included covers of popular songs and original works. The music itself encompassed an eclectic mix of genres, including HipHop and Indie, with one performer using his native tongue – Polish – to deliver a sensational sounding rap track.

OVERVIEW The event was presided over by Pamela Brown, PAF’s Writer-in-Residence in Magilligan Prison who leads the Creative Writing workshops that produced many of the winning works. Pamela in-

F

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troduced the speakers which included Fred Caulfield (PAF Executive Director), instrumental in ensuring the event happened, and that people’s efforts were duly rec og nise d. Left to right: Director General Ronnie Armour, Jonathan Bailie Fred offered (PAF), Fred Caulfield (PAF) Governor Platt, Pamela Brown John Graham (NWRC), Tom McKeever (PAF), Patrick his congratula- (PAF) McKeown (NWRC) tions ‘to everyone who submitted an entry to the Koestler Arts during 2022. After a difficult year “After a you have proven, once again, that perseverance has paid off. The number of difficult year awards this year has been exceptional.’

KOESTLER ARTS you have Koestler Arts was founded in 1962 so that artists’ work in prison could be recognised proven, once and rewarded by artists from outside the prison system. In 2022, over 100 experts again, that from a diverse set of fields looked at over 7,000 entries, a record number for the perseverance awards. Despite the obstacles, over 25 people had their achievements recognised. has really paid Winning entries across a mix of categories included Short Stories, Poetry, Music and off.”

Paintings. The highest award available, the ‘Platinum’ Award was given to a short story titled ‘First Night,’ with other winning entries including a Gold Award, Silver Awards, Bronze Awards, Outstanding Debut Award, an Under 25s Special Award, Highly Commended Awards and Commended Awards. Congratulations to all involved. >>JPW

Issue 20, Summer 2023

Education Celebration Day

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ducation in prison is much more than just getting up in the morning and heading off to a class. It is an opportunity to gain meaningful qualifications that can directly contribute to improving your life after prison. It can break up the mundane daily routine on the landings, and is a great way to socialise and learn new skills. It is not a repeat of our school days, which most of us did not enjoy. As adult learners, we have a more relaxed teaching environment, and rather than sitting wondering what relevance Pythagoras’ Theorem has in everyday life, the emphasis is on teaching Essential Skills that we can use on a daily basis.

NORTH WEST REGIONAL COLLEGE

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n March 23rd, the achievements of prisoners over the past year were celebrated.

We were joined by Governor Alan Platt and Head of Learning John Graham, who both voiced their pride at the hard-work and dedication that all those people who have attended education, and completed courses, have invested in them-

selves.

Kathleen McCaul (Head of Department) spoke about how the effort we make now translates into a fuller and more meaningful CV, ultimately leading to better employment opportunities.

The categories included Art & Design, Barbering, Carpentry, Creative Writing, Employability Skills, Essential Skills in Numeracy, Essential

Skills in Literacy, ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages), Food Safety & Nutrition, CSR Card, Horticulture, ICT Systems Support, ICT (ICT Essential Skills), Joinery, Painting and Decorating, Plastering, Tiling and Welding.

Awards were given for Entry level qualifications through to Level 3.

ence-Fiction/Fantasy and Horror. Over the course of several months, the collection came together and was edited by the group itself. The bespoke cover art was designed by one of the group’s resident artists. Once complete, thanks to the help of Pamela Brown (Creative Writing tutor) and Annette Smith (North West

Regional College), the book went to print with a run of 100 copies.

The event was seasoned with music performances, both solo and group musicians from Prison Art Foundation’s Music class in collaboration with Jonathan Bailie (musician-in-residence), and refreshments were provided afterwards. >>DON

“Education is the

most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” —Nelson Mandela

GAS LIGHT

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he same event also marked the launch of Gas Light: A short story anthology; a collection of stories put together by the Magilligan Creative Writer’s Group as part of their Project-Based Learning.

Five authors all wrote stories for each of the five biggest-selling genres: Romance, Crime/ Mystery, Memoir, Sci-

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Time In

Writing Within Walls National Creative Writing Competition 2022 The Arkbound Foundation is a charity that aims to widen access to literature and improve diversity within publishing.

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his year, Magilligan’s Creative Writing Group entered the National Creative Writing Competition, arranged by The Arkbound Foundation, for the first time. Entries included a range of poems, short stories and flash fiction. Out of more than 150 entries, four of Magilligan’s writers made the Top 20, with one of the writers claiming the top prize, all of which have been selected for publication by the organisation. This years theme was ‘Endurance’ and feedback from the Foundation stated, ‘Well done to all the applicants from HMP Magillian,’ further adding that the writers group ‘must have a fantastic education team to support them.’

THE ENDURING FOOL Because you’ve been a fool, You leave yourself spent…… …..Because because….

And I’m so tired of being blue, and grey….

But at least the dark white taunts me no more, and at least I have this place in my head….

I see trees on hills under moonlit skies…. ….as the sun goes down, as the sun goes down….

Because you’ve been a fool… ...Your hands are stiff, and red….

Because you’ve been a fool… ….live a life before your dead…

Life will come, Love will find you, Leaves will fall, And trees will grow….. …And not because you’ve been a fool, been a fool, because life is what you make it, not what you have done…. >>PH

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PRISON PRIORITIES In the beginning…. I saw the wasted potential around me….

In the beginning I saw how people are misjudged….. …I used to be on the outside looking in, and never saw myself as part of this ugly machine… churning out personality disorders, and complexes….

Now I am the wasted potential… …Now I am the waste in the wind…

The wild wood, tree falls slowly, but not without grace….

I have arrived at this destination…. …..and the hole in the ground that I have shattered shows my resolute silence, and only when I have achieved what I set out for… ….only then will I rest..

Now I am part of this machine, Now I am the wasted potential, Now I am the excuse from a broken system….

...I will be the spanner in the works, and I will use these tools to mend the broken home in which we all live…. >>PH

Issue 20, Summer 2023

A Little Longer

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arah considered herself a strong person, able to endure anything. The things she’d faced in life—her parents splitting when she was nine, the destruction of their family home, even the tragic loss of her younger sister—had taken their toll, of course, but she’d got through it.

This however, was different, she’d never felt pain like it.

Since a young teenager Sarah dreamed about being a mum. She was practical about it: it would happen when she was on her feet financially and in a loving relationship. She would give her child— boy or girl, she had no preference—the best start in life and one filled with happiness. She’d envisaged living in the suburbs: a nice front lawn, a backyard for play and a house stuffed full of toys.

Now she had the home and the man. For over six years she was madly in love with Gerard. They were okay moneywise. Not wealthy per se but enough to cover the mortgage and other essentials, with a bit left over that they could put away for the baby when it came. If it came. They’d been trying for eighteen months with no luck. Sarah tried everything from monitoring her ovulation periods, to fortifying Gerard’s food with zinc. But nothing worked.

A few months earlier Sarah was overcome with a feeling that finally, after all this time, she was pregnant. She couldn’t explain it. There were no physical signs, just a feeling. It was so strong she fought back tears that threatened to pour from her out of sheer joy. She cut a shopping trip short, unable to ignore the need to get home and take a test.

The house was empty. Gerard was working late again. She dropped the shopping bags at the door and

rushed up stairs. She completed a pregnancy test and waited the prescribed two minutes. They felt an eternity. Seconds ticked as her certainty waned. The memory of all the negative results surfaced.

She was frightened. The last of her hope drained away. It was going to be negative. She glanced at the panel. PREGNANT. She couldn’t believe her eyes, she couldn’t react. Then the tears came. She was overwhelmed with joy. Her dreams were coming true. After all the hurt, depression, anxiety, she finally done it.

In her excitement, she couldn’t wait until Gerard got home. She bounced up and down waiting on him to pick up his phone. Finally, he answered.

“Hi honey, what’s going on?”

“She was overwhelmed with joy. Her dreams were coming true” She began to ramble, saying everything at once and not making sense.

“Sarah, slow down. I can’t make you out.”

“Gerard, I’m pregnant, you’re going to be a dad. You’re going to be a dad!”

Gerard was speechless. He too wanted this. Perhaps not as much as Sarah but he was overjoyed.

“Fucking yes!” he shouted with his usual delicacy. “I’m on the way to the car. I’ll be home soon.”

Gerard switched the phone to Bluetooth and turned on the ignition. Sarah launched into another hundred-mile-an-hour pronouncement, not stopping to draw breath, “if it’s a boy we’ll call him Ciaran after my dad we’ll

get him one of them wee Nike tracksuits for babies and he’ll look so cute if it’s a girl, Melissa I’ve always loved the name she could wear the wee tracksuit too.”

Gerard chuckled. They’d had this conversation a hundred times, every night for months, as they lay in bed, this was all they talked about. Well, all Sarah talked about. Her face lit up each time.

But, as negative tests started to build up, those discussions faded.

Sarah’s light faded. Bedtime was quiet and she slipped into a deep depression. Eventually, sex became less passionate, more routine, and mechanical. That didn’t matter now. They’d done it. *** They booked a doctor’s appointment the next morning. Sarah was vibrating with excitement and then she was poked and prodded, and back to the reception area, waiting for news of her baby. Gerard looked up as the nurse beckoned them. She didn’t look pleased. His heart sunk, bad news. Sarah seemed blissfully unaware. He hoped he was wrong.

“I’m afraid I’ve bad news. I’m sorry Sarah, but you’re not pregnant.” The doctor said.

Sarah and Gerard’s world crumbled. Sarah heard nothing after those words. Gerard retained enough composure to continue.

“But the pregnancy test?”

“Yes, unfortunately, home tests can be unreliable. Often producing false positives. And even false negatives. My advice? Keep trying. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to conceive. It’ll happen eventually.”

The next few months were terrible. Gerard went to work, returning each evening to find Continued...

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Time In TV on, staring into nothingness, her eyes puffy from crying. Each night in bed she lay in silence, still in the same trance until she drifted off. One day she seemed to come round and declared she wanted to try again. Gerard happily obliged, hopeful that this was a return to normality. Unfortunately, it lasted only a few days. Sarah fell back into despondency.

Thus, one night Gerard returned home to find Sarah laying on the sofa. He looked down at her and was suddenly filled with an in-

tense love for her. He whispered her name and gently shook her.

“Time for bed, love.” But she didn’t respond. He tried again.

And again. And again. *** A week before the inquest and Gerard had the process explained by his lawyer, Rory. It was straight forward. The coroner would receive the medical reports and formally declare Sarah died by suicide, a drugs overdose, resulting from her inability to conceive.

Gerard was surprised when he

looked at his phone and saw five missed calls from Rory. He called him immediately.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, Gerard. How are you?”

“I’m okay thanks. Is something wrong?”

Rory cleared his throat before continuing.

“I received a copy of Sarah’s pathology report. I’m afraid there’s no gentle way of putting this.

When Sarah died…she was pregnant.” >>JPW

Eternal Darkness of the Enduring Mind

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nna’s eyes opened, slightly at first as if she had just wakened from a long slumber, but with no change. There was nothing, an unlit nothingness, darkness ensued the sound of silence.

Anna reached out with every fibre of her being, but there was still nothing. At first she couldn’t tell if she was standing or lying down, Anna stretched her arms out in front of her to no avail, then to her sides, nothing, finally behind her, still nothing. Anna suddenly felt dizzy as she couldn’t even see her arms reaching out, or her body for that fact.

She must be standing up she thought to herself as she felt for the ground.

“What? This can’t be!” Anna screamed, as if shouting at a light bulb suddenly going out.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” she asked, then listened for a reply.

But there was no answer, not even an echo, not even the sound of silence, there was no sound at all. Anna could hear herself in her head but wasn’t

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sure if that sound had come out of her. She felt for her body, then her mouth, “thank God, I’m here, I’m naked but I’m here,” she thought to herself. But the joy of feeling her body slowly faded as she realised she didn’t know where ‘here’ actually was.

“Help! Help! My names Anna and I’m stuck in here!” Anna paused and listened again.

Silence ensued again.

“Why am I here? What did I do?

Who put me here? Where is here?

Why have I no clothes? Where are my clothes? Why can’t I see?

Why is it Dark? Where are the walls? Where is the floor? Ooh, I don’t want to be here no more.”

Anna sobbed into herself, she felt the tears build up in her eyes, but they didn’t go anywhere. Her tears just formed into a larger puddle until she wiped them away with her hand. Only a few minutes passed but to Anna this felt like hours.

“Am I dead? Is this what death is like? Am I in hell because this is certainly not heaven? Ooh, how would I know what heaven is like.

It’s not like I’ve been there. I

don’t even believe in God for goodness sake.”

Anna thought about her life, every action, every decision and interaction she ever had or made, then she began to imagine a door opening in front of her and light shining in on her, illuminating her way out of this place.

“When I get home I won’t take people for granted, I promise I won’t, I will enjoy every second, every moment, even that annoying sound my boyfriend makes when he is chewing his food; ooh, how I would give anything to hear Ben’s voice right now, telling me to calm down and that this is all a dream.”

“Wait a minute. Ben!!!”

Anna realised that she hadn’t given a single thought to where she was before this darkness.

Anna opened her eyes and looked over at Ben sitting in the corner of the room, slouched over and drawing back the heroin into his needle from a dirty spoon, then she looked at her own arm, the needle was still hanging out of her vein but the heroin was long gone.

“Ben, make me another hit up again please babe.”>>GL

Issue 20, Summer 2023

Spider-Sense “The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.” —Pablo Picasso

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few years back whilst living in London I was unfortunate enough to get sent to prison for a spell. Once the judge passed sentence, I was immediately transported to south London’s HMP Wandsworth where I was thankfully given a single cell on doctor’s orders due to severe health issues. It was a fairly large cell, normally used for two inmates sharing, with a small toilet and washbasin below the window. But I had it all to myself, which was absolutely fine by me.

CELLMATE Well, when I say I had it all to myself that’s not strictly true. I actually did have a cellmate, he just wasn’t human. He was a huge spider, and I quickly took him under my wing. (I say “he” but of course it could easily have been a female spider). I named the daddylong-legs spider “Stilts”, because he had very long legs and this was a source of more than a little amusement for me as I whiled away the months.

ARACHNOPHOBIA Thankfully. I’m not an arac hno ph obe (pathologically afraid or loathsome of arachnids) and Stilts cer-

“There’s no shortage of flies trapped in the spider webs of the world’s prison.” tainly kept my cell free of flies during the warm spring and summer.

AVIARY There was also an aviary which housed several dozen birds located in the corner of the exercise yard. I could hear them chirping all day and half the night and it was relaxing to listen to them.

This was especially true when the dawn chorus woke me early on a beautiful sunny morning. It was a rare joy in a house of misery. I used to walk past the birds on my way to classes and during exercise periods. Watching those harmless multicoloured birds, some of them so small they could hide in the palm of your hand, never got boring.

HUMBLE ABODE Several years later whilst detained for a second time, I was shipped to HMP Onley. This is near the town of Rugby, close to the border between the counties of Warwickshire and Nottinghamshire. And whilst there I was inundated with spiders. Again, I was allowed a single cell on health grounds, but this was a more typical prison cell. My humble abode in

Onley was barely half “It seems to me that the size of my previous cell. But what it lacked the natural world is in size it made up for in arachnids. There were the greatest source of spiders everywhere. I excitement; the remember finding seven in one day, hiding begreatest source of hind the telly and kettle (you are allowed a kettle visual beauty; the and small television if your behaviour is good greatest source of and you pay a nominal fee in lieu of rent). intellectual interest. It SPIDER WEBS It’s amazing how incar- is the greatest source cerated men (and womof so much that en I guess) can grow to care for an innocent makes life worth creature such as a spiliving.” ders or birds to the level they do. Perhaps we feel —David Attenborough we are paying back a debt to the natural world. Whatever the reason, birds, spiders and the occasional mouse seems to be well cared for in prison. Even the prison cat (where applicable) gets well fed. And thanks to Stilts and his fellow arachnids, there’s no shortage of flies trapped in the spider webs of the world’s prison. And a good thing too. I bloody hate flies.

Honest Jim

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I

started attending music therapy just after the stressful era of the Covid lockdowns. Prior to this I was a novice guitar player trying to put a few cords together and who wasn’t really progressing, until a good friend suggested I could benefit from music therapy and introduced me to Michaela, the music therapist. Personally, I don’t like to express my feelings or thoughts and would have never thought of using music to help me work through things. However, at the time I was a bit weary so decided to give it a shot.

Now, 16 months later, I’m still going and have developed a ‘new me’. I have come a long way as a musician to the point of writing my own songs. In my opinion, Michaela helped not only me, but all those others in the group who have struggled with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression and helped build their confidence towards leaving prison.

AN INTERVIEW WITH MICHAELA TELL ME ABOUT YOU? My name is Michaela, I am a music therapist with five years of experience, and for the past three years I have been working in Magilligan.

My educational background includes a degree in music, and a master’s degree in music therapy. I am a skilled vocalist, and guitarist. My approach to work is guided by respect, and empathy.

WHY DID YOU DECIDE ON MUSIC THERAPY? My decision to become a music therapist stems from a passion for both music and helping others. I was drawn to the powerful and transformative impact that music has on our emotion, cognition, and overall well-being.

I enjoy developing an understanding of various music genres and instruments, different therapeutic techniques, and the unique ways music can be used to communicate, connect, and heal.

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WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MUSIC THERAPY? Its primary aim to support mental and emotional well-being, acting as an outlet for expression and a means of coping with the challenging realities of incarceration.

It can help reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression, while fostering resilience and emotional stability. Beyond this, music therapy also helps promote social cohesion and develop interpersonal skills, as it often involves group activities that require cooperation and communication. It can also instil a sense of achievement, as inmates learn to play an instrument or compose music.

Overall, the purpose of music therapy for inmates extends from immediate mental health benefits to long-term rehabilitation and reintegration goals.

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF MUSIC THERAPY IN PRISON? Incarceration can exact a heavy toll on an individual's mental health, often causing stress, anxiety and depression. Music therapy provides a non-verbal outlet for

emotional expression, which can facilitate coping, resilience, and recovery. Studies have shown that active participation in music therapy, whether through instrument playing, singing, or song writing, can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, promote social bonding, and foster a sense of self-worth and empowerment.

The skills developed during music therapy sessions—such as patience, focus, and creativity—can a lso be be ne ficia l post incarceration.

If you are interested in joining music therapy, speak to a member of the healthcare team.>>PMN

Issue 20, Summer 2023

to keep in heat in winter, and keep it out in the summer, and so there are dual benefits to heating the property with a green roof while further improving the property’s value.

U

rban horticulture is the science and study of growing plants in an urban environment. During the nineteenth century, people saw that factory neighborhoods were very unhealthy areas, and so began the integration of parks and community gardens.

background.

TREE INSPIRED Tree inspired architecture is another great leap forward as they continue to sprout up around the world, including plant covered buildings. These beautiful buildings can look like vertical rainforests and I for one think it is something that should be the government’s main goal to make these new style buildings a priority, especially with the global warming crisis. These clever designs also produce shade when it’s too hot. They boost air quality and lessen the need for air conditioning given children today are more prone to asthma from the chemical fumes from cars. Children will be healthier too as they can grow and eat more fruit and vegetables.

MENTAL HEALTH Studies over the years have proven that when people get to see, and be around nature it is beneficial to their mental health.

It lowers stress levels, and so the integration of more nature in town and cities should keep growing. This means more gardening CITY LIFE programmes were people In the twenty-first century who don’t have a garden the world could see the could have their own plot need for urban horticulsomewhere. They will ture. It makes sense behave the benefits of eating cause we can all rememtheir own fresh fruit and ber a time we have been vegetables, getting more stressed from the presexercise and being mentalsures of city life, only to ly and physical better off. feel the same stress slip The more community garaway as you walk through dens and parks there are, a community garden or the more it will help compark, noticing the beauti- bat loneliness which is a ful colors and textures of major mental health crisis EMPLOYMENT flowers beds, shrubs, trees for a lot of our older gen- This new urban growing of course will create more and ponds that surround eration. jobs, as the parks and garyour every turn. Your dens need to be mainsenses heighten as differ- GREEN ROOFS tained by pruning, grassent smells and sounds Having rooftop gardens cutting, hedge-trimming, bring back your awaresuch as green roofs are and planting, and this is ness, and you are finally becoming popular as well. back living in the here-and It makes good use of the exciting for people who love horticulture because -now. When you feel tired space and if every roof if you love what you do, you can go and sit under a had a garden it would be you will never work a day tree for shade and watch amazing for the environin your life. >>WV the wildlife around you, ment, not to mention havchirping happily in the ing a green roof can help

Singapore Skyscraper

“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life” —Confucius

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How does sound have such power over my emotions… …encapsulated in this moment until… …until I hear these sounds, and I get this swell… …you know… …like this swell it cripples me, I curl up like a child or I crumple over my desk, pen rolling off onto the floor… …You know that feelin’…It just takes over, and it can be scary sometimes, because you can’t control it… …A song on the radio reminds me of another song, and I hear that song in my head, my shoulders slump, and I get this feeling… …It’s hard to put into words… It’s like every emotion in one, resentment of the power it has over me, and then acceptance, and pure joy over the sense of escapism… …you know… …it’s like, like I just shut down…

The words “Fuck Sake” try to escape my lips, but they wont come because as quickly as that impulse arrives, my body…. …it’s like my body just stops and says…. …”Hey!... hey… it’s ok, just breathe… (inhale) (exhale) (fall) (settle) “Just breathe”… and be in this moment, in this space…. this headspace…

Then I’ll play the song or the sound or the pluck of strings, and faces, and places, and people’s laughter, the tears, the crying, the world I once held… it all crashes into the Earth, burning up through the atmosphere, burning through this emotional meteor… …people cling to each other in fear as the Earth they know is to be destroyed … …that moment everyone will be unsure of their desires in … that moment….

They will simply seek them… …and as this crash continues… …the sound of the comet ripping through our atmosphere… ….Just as the panic settles into acceptance, and for the lucky, the things and the people they love…. Just as this moment is at it’s climax… …the meteor burns down into pure energy… ..the energy that becomes of the comet, it shoots off in all directions in all dimensions and finds it’s place in the hearts of all these people in the form of the warm fuzzy feeling that takes over… and with all this taking place over mere seconds… …as quickly as the panic ensues, the search for what we love begins, the acceptance of the fate in store, and the calm before the storm… …the storm passes into the most beautiful blue skied day… ..This is the power sound has on me…. All these emotions….

It’s just like this comet that calms and instils courage in me to be what I want to be …The meteor that launches it’s strike as if it is a dagger swung in malice only to turn to a gentle kiss upon a forehead, Page 16

Issue 20, Summer 2023 And a push towards the direction your heart wants to go… …all of this… …all in seconds… (exhale) …I need some time to think… …to breathe… (inhale) “Hey, It’s ok”…. …I think I have finally let go… …I think I have finally moved on…

I have finally shook this demon who held me so…. …(you don’t shake hands with the devil without losing the other one…. bound by memories that hold you so… that hold you so… …in a vice…. …A tear to greet my eye like a long lost friend…. …to congratulate me in my escape…. …unbound… …released… ….all of this eye to eye… …In the mirror’s gaze…. …I might not recognise myself anymore... …but at least I can hold the mirror’s eye …and say I like the man I see… …I will have my life back...

H

ow powerful is music is that even an unborn child can form a connection with the sounds their mother lived around or even created? Little babies can be soothed to sleep by the sudden sound of Coronation Street’s theme song, meaning the baby recognised it from the mother watching while pregnant. Think about that….

That little baby is in a meditative state. Maybe you or I had a similar connection, and you would never know for definite, so if I asked you “Do you meditate?” Even if you said ‘no,’ I guarantee that you have been in meditative states throughout life. Listening to a song tethers you to your past, bringing you to a meditative state. Just like the mirror’s edge, it creates a window into

memory or what you hope to be for future memory. When you hear a song so powerful it brings you back to something in your life, that little moment when you stop and are just present … that’s meditation…

There you go, you’re a great, big guru and you knew not a thing about it…

These different bands and songs take me to many different destinations:  Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac - Oh Well  Wolf Alice—Visions of a Life (Album)  Khruangbin— Mordechai (Album)  Massive Attack—Paradise

beats Series (deep house, vocal trance) (this is a sublabel of above and beyond)  Sebastien Leger—La Danse

Du Scorpien  Vaults—Hunger of the Pine

(Jody Wisternoff & James Grant remix)  Tool —Parabola  A Perfect Circle—The Out-

sider

 Jose Gonzalez—Far Away

Howard—I Forget Where We Were >>PH

 Ben

Circus

 Billie

Weather

Marten— Heavy

 Anjunadeep

&

AnjunaPage 17

Time In Time In

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his article is about the impact professional snooker can have on mental health, both positive and negative. Sporting commentators often say there is a strong element of mental agility and toughness that surrounds a game of snooker but there’s also a certain stigma that players have to be “mentally tough.”

This can lead to players having increased levels of anxiety, depression and other issues surrounding the competitive nature of snooker.

FEAR OF LOSING When playing professionally, the individual is required to sustain a high level of concentration, positive mental health and positive self-esteem that should be consistent throughout the competition. This can be quite an endurance for the brain.

How a player views themselves, feels about their desire, passion and willingness to learn, contributes to how well they perform. The goal for any professional is, without a doubt, to win and succeed but in order to have a winning mentality, the most important aspect is to overcome the fear of losing.

When they are winning, there is a lack of fear that translates into them having a care-free mind the levels of anxiety and fear have vanished from the snooker Page 18

-player’s mind and they enter a psychological zone that is inherently creative and they don’t really think about the rationale or consciousness of their actions.

WINNING OUTCOME It is also important to develop a sense of positive self-belief by eliminating the negative selfcriticisms and regret associated with losing. Beliefs stem from our nurturing relationships, the distinctions between what is good or bad for us, and how we develop our mental health environment from an elite sporting perspective. This is evident in snooker when some players have been crowned world champions on multiple occasions and to win that many times requires a consistency in their self-belief in their abilities and emotions.

SELF-BELIEF How you feel can determine the results of your actions. Your beliefs also take into account your experiences, your values and your self-concept. It can be suggested that projecting positive self-belief when playing competitive snooker will assist in the player’s ability to determine the outcome of the game.

This is evident when some professional players are able to win one frame after another, leaving

their opponents behind by a significant margin. Self-belief is a vital tool in a soloist sport like snooker.

CONCLUSION On a final note, from these discussions, themes that have arisen around mental health and wellbeing point towards shaping the individual’s mental health environment in a positive way. The notion of competition in snooker argues that realising and taking responsibility for the mental skills that professional players have acquired, from the sport, is important in reducing the fear and anxiety associated with winning or losing. These skills include a snooker player’s knowledge of the game, their experiences, and most of all, evaluating their experiences from a reflexive point of view. >>GM

“When they are winning, there is a lack of fear that translates into them having a care-free mind”

Issue 20, Summer 2023

n March, Prison Arts Foundation showcased the ‘Embracing Art’ exhibition, in conjunction with Belfast City Council’s theme of ‘A City Imaging.’

Artwork from Magilligan, Hydebank, Maghaberry and Shannon Clinic was displayed in the Community and Cultural Hub, Belfast. The exhibition was accompanied by an ‘Embracing Art’ anthology created by the Magilligan's Creative Writer’s Group.

The inspiring event, which was open to the public, is not only part of PAF’s wider vision to raise awareness of prison art, but also an opportunity to challenge the public’s perception of prisoners in order to augment the reintegration back into society after prison.

The feedback from the public was outstanding, with comments such as, ‘they were spectacular,’ ‘very thought-provoking,’ and ‘conveys emotion, beauty, trauma, challenge.’>>DON

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Issue 20, Summer 2023

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bstract art, also called non-objective art or nonrepresentational art in which the portrayal of things in the visible world play little or no part. Think of artists like Hilma AF Klint, Kandinsky, Delauney and more recently Richter, Pollock, Mondrian and Rothko. The list could go on but I think if you know your art, then you’ll know the quality of the artists I mention. All of their paintings are worth millions of pounds and I would certainly hang any of them in my house if I was lucky enough! The actual abstract movement emerged in the late 19th and early 20th centuries when artists experimented with all sorts of shapes and colours that did not represent any natural appearances. It challenged the traditional role of art as a mirror of reality and instead expressed the inner visions, emotions, and ideas of the artists. The movement still continues to this day and I would paint abstract pieces now and again. The cover for this magazine was something I adapted from Hilma AF Klint’s ‘Swan’ series. Klint was considered the first ever abstract artist and as we are on the theme of meditation, I’m sure she was in a tran-

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scendental state which would be considered ‘meditation’. Art has that uplifting feeling when we are painting which puts us in an almost supernatural realm, and that is where we find ourselves, emotions and ideas to paint. I myself have been influenced by many of these artists, the colours and shapes that can stir an emotional response and a meditative state are so inspiring for me. Take Jackson Pollock for instance, and the technique he used; imagine the way he was feeling at the time he was dripping and throwing all that paint at the canvas! It’s that feeling we all crave when we are creating art, that headspace we all try to get into; reassuring and calming… a zenlike state, and I would class that feeling as meditation. Finally, art also passes time very quickly and is the perfect activity while behind bars… so I encourage you to get painting! >>RMcA

Issue 20, Summer 2023

Embracing Emotions Inspiring Hope

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n the 31st May, the ‘Embracing Emotions, Inspiring Hope’ exhibition was launched in Antrim library. It was comprised of artwork with corresponding poetry that creatively expresses mental health struggles. This was a collaborative project involving Prison Arts Foundation (PAF), The Samaritan NI, Belfast MET and Libraries NI. The touring exhibition can be visited for free, and over the course of the next few months will travel to libraries in Dungiven, Holywood, Lurgan and Omagh.

A Libraries NI representative said they were delighted to host an exhibition ‘of these wonderful paintings and poetry produced by prisoners in Magilligan, Maghaberry and Hydebank Wood College and Women’s Prisons,’ further adding that ‘the artwork highlights the positive work and support provided by the Samaritans.’

“Listeners are prisoners who offer confidentiality, nonjudgement and emotional support to prisoners struggling to cope or feeling suicidal. ”

“Creativity also helps reduce depression, giving a sense of purpose and producing feelings of accomplishment and positive self-esteem” —Fred Caulfield

The Listener programme is part of the Samaritans’ commitment to reducing suicide and self-harm. They train prisoners to provide emotional support to their fellow prisoners. Listeners are prisoners who offer confidentiality, non-judgement and emotional support to prisoners struggling to cope or feeling suicidal. Listeners are individually selected and trained for the role by Samaritan volunteers.

Speaking at the launch, PAF Executive Director, Fred Caulfield said, ‘expressing yourself through artistic and creative activities has been proven to relieve both stress and anxiety. Creativity also helps reduce depression, giving a sense of purpose and producing feelings of accomplishment and positive self-esteem. We welcome opportunities to showcase the exceptional works created by the men, women and young people that we engage with through our creative programmes across the criminal justice systems.’ >>DON

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welve candidates from Magilligan’s Foyleview department recently completed an ‘Essential FirstAid’ course as part of their Duke Of Edinburgh’s Award. Falling into their skills category, the course has undoubtedly provided them with some priceless tools should they ever be faced with a medical emergency, backed up with a 3 year certificate as a First-Aid Responder.

ST JOHN AMBULANCE St John Ambulance volunteers Dr Andrew Kerr and Andrea Kennedy kindly delivered the course, both of whom brought a wealth of experience in First-Aid. All 12 candidates showed an excellent attitude whilst taking part, becoming involved with the practical side of learning in an enthusiastic fashion.

This was the first time St John Ambulance have provided a course within HMP Magilligan and it is hoped links can be maintained in the future given that they provide a broad range of courses that can be adapted to suit where the need presents itself.

Bronze Level Award culminating in their qualifying expeditions carried out along the North Antrim coast.

AWARDS The awards themselves are made up of 4 sections – skills, volunteering, physical and expedition and typically span across a 6-9 month timeframe.

THANKS All those staff involved in the Duke of Edinburgh’s delivery in Magilligan would like to place on record their thanks to Andrew & Andrea for giving up their time for a very worthwhile cause. The value of the skills EXPEDITION picked up on the course The Duke Of Edinburgh’s know no boundary and Award continues to go appreciation was shown from strength to by each and every canstrength in Magilligan didate to the two inwhere in 2023 some 18 structors. inmates across 3 groups will complete their

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Issue 20, Summer 2023

Information Services Support services are available for all in custody and their families. Speak to your Class Officer or the Family Support team for further information.

AD:EPT provide a range of services to people who have problems with drug and alcohol abuse.

All AD:EPT workers are trained professionals who offer a sensitive and confidential service.

Ask an officer on the landing to arrange an appointment or speak to your medical officer or probation officer .

Church Services The spiritual needs of inmates are catered for in prison as well as on the outside. The main denominations have chaplaincies but others are also accommodated. Speak to your landing officer to contact them.

Housing Rights

Need Help With Housing?

Housing Rights are Here for You!

Turning Pages Shannon Trust is a reading programme specifically designed for adults who struggle with reading.

It’s a peer led, confidential, one-to-one programme that can be worked through in short bursts of 20 minutes a session.

If you are interested in improving your reading or becoming a Mentor speak to landing staff, Andrea in the library or any of the Learning and Skills staff.

Being a dad in prison isn’t easy.

For help and support request an appointment.

Listeners Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to offer support to inmates who are having a difficult time.

To make a request ask an officer on the landing. The scheme is independent of the prison authorities and completely CONFIDENTIAL.

When someone dies we can feel a lot of emotions including being abandoned, angry, guilty, shocked and sad. Talking about how you feel when someone has died can help.

Cruse can offer you a weekly session with a volunteer who will listen and provide support.

Interested in applying for the Open University?

Speak to Andrea in the library for an application form and Prospectus.

The Rainbow Project is devoted to improving the health and well -being of LGBTQIA+ people and their families, as well as those questioning their orientation or gender.

They offer one-to-one support and counselling that is discreet and confidential. Speak to a member of Safety and Support or contact them using the confidential phone numbers that are on the privledged phone list: Belfast: 02890 319030 Derry: 02871 283030 Page 25

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Listowel Winners 2023

his year has seen another exceptional performance in Listowel Writers’ Week. The competition is now firmly embedded in the writing-schedule of Magilligan’s Creative Writing Group who never fail to produce award-winning work. The competition is divided into Short Stories and Poetry, with entrants submitting to the Getting Started, Intermediate or Advanced categories.

This year, in particular, the Short Story Intermediate category was dominated by Magilligan writers who won first, second and third prizes, as well as the third place in the Advanced category. Hydebank prison also shared in the celebration by claiming the second place in the Short Story (Getting Started) category.

Below is the entry that was awarded second place in the Intermediate category.

The Witch Trials

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regory Stewart sat at a library table vigorously turning the pages of one of the oldest books he believed he’d ever got his hands on. His job as a historic investigator had led him down a pathway he could not have imagined. This motivated him more, at age 40, than he’d ever been in his entire life. He recently started reading, as well as collecting information, about the poor souls burnt at the stake for being witches back in the 1500s. The more he found out about what happened to these women, the more he felt they’d suffered.

Above all, his heart went out to a woman called Geillis Duncan, a simple housemaid, who never married and was accused of being a witch. Geillis was found guilty of causing a storm that nearly wiped out King James VII fleets, as they returned to Edinburgh from Denmark. To his horror he read about how she was accused of being a Witch to which she confessed, only to stop her horrendous torture.

Reading so fast in his head, it took him only three words to realise he had started reading in Latin.

‘What tha…!’ Greg said as he flipped the pages only to see more Latin. Greg lifted his head in search for the librarian. ‘Excuse me, Miss. I don’t suppose you’ve any Latin translation books here?’

‘Latin,’ her voice echoed through the library. She looked over her glasses and smiled. ‘No dear, we don’t have any literature in Latin here at all.’ She spoke in posh manner while she continuing to smile.

‘Well…’ Greg stopped… ‘Oh never mind,’ he smiled back. Greg looked round and when no one was looking he dropped the book into his man-bag. Greg wasn’t a thief, but he didn’t want to risk the librarian realising it wasn’t their book.

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Greg vowed to return it once he had translated the Latin.

It was a horrible, typical Scottish rainy day. As Greg looked out the bus window his thoughts went back to the woman whom he was collecting information on. He watched the storm raging outside and asked himself how people could have believed a storm could be caused by a woman or a witch as they called back then. Cold and wet, he wondered how Geillis Duncan must have felt as she was tied to a stake, shivering, for nearly two days before she was burnt.

Greg down loaded an app that would translate from Latin to English. He typed the text into his computer and as he started to read, something wasn’t making sense. Then he realized, he was reading a diary.

Could this be Geillis’s story in her own words? He read on and it became obvious to Greg she was complaining about her job as a maid. Greg felt he’d come across a goldmine. How a diary from 500 years ago would be in a book in a library had to be a fluke? Greg was in awe as he read Geillis’s daily routines. She wrote about her chores, the ones she liked and the ones she hated. She hated laundry, as the hours spent scrubbing dirty laundry scorched her hands and made them break out in soars. She liked cooking dinner and she considered herself to be a marvellous cook, and she was allowed a meal for herself. To his unease, the text started to become darker as Greg read on in horror. *** ‘Geillis!’ Shouted Dave, the owner of the great mansion.

Geillis hurried from the kitchen into the dining room to serve.

‘Yes Master.’ Geillis said as she bowed.

Dave Tutor, the brother of King James had an air of

Issue 20, Summer 2023 ignorance about him. He felt he was better than everyone and treated most people like they were beneath him.

‘Fetch my friends, and some more wine,’ Dave said arrogantly.

Geillis felt unease at the disrespectful glares from his greedy, overweight, egotistical friends.

‘Yes Master,’ Geillis said as she leaned over to lift the empty wine vase. ‘No,’ Geillis said in fright as she felt a hand on her lower back. She turned to face the man who assaulted her and some of the left over wine spilled out. Geillis jumped in fright again as Dave went into a rage.

‘You stupid fool. Fetch our wine and clean that mess at once.’

‘Sorry Master.’ Geillis said as she left the room.

Geillis could hear their taunts and the disrespectful laughter from the kitchen as she refilled the jar with wine. Upset, she prayed the night would end. At least twice a week Geillis would have to endure the bullying nature from Dave and his horrible, wealthy friends who sat at the table eating, drinking and barking orders. This went on all night until they overindulged to the point that they would throw up. Which was left to Geillis to clean.

It was getting on into the early hours. Geillis managed to keep the place tidy the only thing that was out of place was the horrible drunks that lay passed out in the dining room. Desperate to get home, she climbed the stairs to tell Dave’s wife, Rachel Tudor that her chores were done. She was hopeful that she could be dismissed until tomorrow. Geillis actually liked Rachel. She wasn’t like the others, she often felt a warmness’ from her.

‘Come in. Hi Geillis, wh…’ Rachel coughed and coughed again before finishing her sentence, ‘why are still here? Rachel asked sympathetically.

‘Serving Dave, and his Guests. My lady.’

COUGH, COUGH! ‘Oh that horrid man. He should have sent you home hours ago.’ COUGH, COUGH! ‘Not to worry, he has to go away with a fleet of ships to Denmark tomorrow, not to return for a full month.’ Rachel gave her a wink. ‘Go home darling, and take tomorrow off.’

‘Thank you. Let me get you some linctus for your cough first.’

‘No, no it’s…’

Geillis left to fetch the linctus from the kitchen, humming to herself as she searched through the herbal decoctions and creams in the cupboard.

‘Aaahh,’ Geillis screamed as she felt someone grab her waist only then to be spun around to be face-toface with Dave. She froze in horror. Dave looked

drunk and had a coldness in his eyes.

‘Don’t,’ Geillis said trying to sound stern. She wanted to get out of this without violence, her job and life depended on it.

‘Your drunk, just let me go.’ She begged.

‘Shhh,’ Dave said and slammed his fists into the counter as if she were an animal not doing as her told.

There was nothing she could do. She froze as her worst nightmare became real. *** Gregory became so full of anger and upset that he could read no more. He didn’t need to read, he could guess straight off the bat that this man probably set the whole idea of her being a witch in motion, so she could never tell anyone that Dave the Brother of King James was a rapist. He translated the entire text and hit print, he knew he wouldn’t be able to finish Geillis’s story until maybe the next day once his head has gotten a break. He couldn’t wait to show this to the higher society in his profession. The next day he walked over to his printer, lifted Geillis story and flipped through it until the end. He was going to go back about his business until the last page grabbed his eye. It was written out like a song. It was a song.

Greg smiled as he thought about how wonderful and talented she was. Greg began to read. *** Dave sent his guards out in search of Geillis. They were told that she tried to steal from him and when caught she bit his face, and ran off. Six horses searched the nearby forest. Geillis lay under some overhanging tree roots while all six horsemen went straight by her. She lay in the soil, freezing, damp, cold, and shivering. Too broken to save her own life.

Geillis awoke, she was in a cabin and feeling warm.

At first she wondered had she died and was now in heaven. Hearing the soft sounds of a fire she sat up.

A Man dressed in a hooded black robe had his back Continued...

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Time In to her, siting at a wooden table. He was mixing something in a small bowl. She wasn’t scared, only intrigued, as she could tell that this mysterious man had nursed her back to health.

‘Who are you?’ She asked.

‘Tell me what do seek?’

‘What? Who are you?’

‘Tell me what do you seek beyond your capabilities? Lay with me. Give me your soul, and I will bare you the devil’s mark. The mark of power.’

Geillis started to feel scared, as she thought she were in a small room with a madman. She jumped out of the bed then saw this man wasn’t siting on anything, he was in fact floating in mid-air. Realizing he wasn’t mad but powerful, she froze. The man turned to face her and she immediately felt a strong attraction towards him.

‘Just tell me what you seek?

‘I seek revenge.’ *** It was a warm summer’s day and Geillis stood on the sand, smiling. As the top of a ship became visible just over the horizon, a once gentle natured women who couldn’t harm a fly, now had an evil and malicious smile spread across her face. Geillis body started to rise from the ground, about a foot in mid-air, as laugh hysterically. Levitating she started to sing.

‘Thunder my darling lightning. Light and electrify thos in your wake.’

The sky above the ship became a lighting fuelled twister that started to burn the whole fleet of ships.

‘Rise up and drown, the men’s sorrows in there barrows at the bottom of your pit.’

An enormous wave crashed on top of the ships, nearly toppling them over and washing some of the men off the ship down to the bottom of the ocean.

‘Mother earth take ….’ Before Geillis could finish Page 28

her song two soldiers came up behind her, hitting her over the head and knocking her out.

‘She’s a witch.’ Was the last thing she heard as she went unconscious?

Geillis knew she was going to suffer until her death.

She was beaten and tortured throughout her incarceration but with this she swore she would have her revenge. She could not escape the castle but she knew her power could. Geillis lay on the cold hard floor in the dark cell. A guard opens the door and was sympathetic towards her. He didn’t believe she was a witch. ‘Geillis can I get you something food.’ The guard whispered to her.

‘There is one thing I would like you to do.’

‘Of course anything.’

‘I want to write about what’s happening to me, and years later, once I am gone, I want you to pass it on to the families who are accusing me of being a witch.’ *** As Gregory read the first verse of the song from Geillis’s book a great loud bang of thunder came from outside. Gregory paused as his subconscious tried to speak to him. He started to read again. As he read flooding started to hit his small Scottish village, in seconds cars were washed down the street, and houses started to collapse.

‘Thunder my darling lightning. Light and electrify this in your wake.

Rise up and drown the men’s sorrows in there barrows at the bottom of your pit.

Mother earth take the lives of the sinners.’ *** ‘Hello, this is Gale Winters from BBC news. This rubble behind me, which was only yesterday the home of Gregory Stewart, before a freak storm hit, destroying this whole town, and his home tragically collapsed killing Gregory. who neighbours say was an historical investigator…>>WV

Issue 20, Summer 2023

M

en’s health and mental wellbeing is a big topic around the world. It is believed that 1 in 4 men suffer from a mental illness. Suicide rates are at an all-time high, especially for men. It’s accepted that men can be more at risk of suicide because they aren’t good at talking about their problems and emotions. Unfortunately, for some men, it’s still seen as a weak thing to do. We all need to get rid of these out-of-date views and start talking about our problems, and, above all, learn to listen and watch out for signs that show that someone’s mental health is slipping.

EXPERTISE On the 15 June 2023 Magilligan prison hosted a Men’s Health Week event, set in its sports arena.

People of all walks of life attended the event and their individual stalls relating to their area of mental wellbeing expertise. The gyms atmosphere reflected a communal buzz with happy faces everywhere.

OVERVIEW Each stall had an individual health benefit for men’s health and wellbeing. The stalls relating to health were demonstrating your sugar ratios by having your everyday sugary foods and drink set out with a bag of sugar in front of each item showing the amount sugar that it contains. Another stall showed the recommended alcohol intake for a man and woman while further explaining the dangers that excessive drinking can cause, leading to things like depression. They gave you a glass that had on it the safe measurements to which you would pour alcohol. Another option was a Podiatrist who examined your feet, if they found a problem they encouraged you to book an appointment with them. There were other options such as free haircuts, fidget gadgets that help you stay

calm and focused and each person made you feel cared for. There were stalls for positive activities like the Music Therapy class run by a very talented musician called Michaela. Her in-house band is made up of 5 prisoners who played and sang songs for the entire morning for anyone who wanted to listen and be in the moment for however long they desired. We had Prison Arts Foundation (PAF), offering books of poems and Time In magazine to showcase the work created by the writers group and the benefits of writing for mental health.

ADDITIONAL GROUPS Well-known organizations who are a regular feature in Magilligan for prisoners, such as Saint Vincent de Paul Society, Vineyard Compassion, The Chaplains, Safety and Support Team, Mental Health Teams, AD:EPT, Probation NI and the Independent Monitoring Boards to name a few, had individual stalls giving their tireless support but also discussing support plans with prisoners for when they leave prison which is important, as this can, in particular, be daunting for someone who has been locked up for a long time. I myself am a

prisoner, and I came away from each stall feeling I’ve more tools to help with my mental health. I also felt a sense of camaraderie as the entire event showed that people were getting together to combat poor mental health and help look after each other, which alone made it a special day.

OTHER EVENTS In addition to the fair, there was also a number of other events held throughout the week including Yoga sessions, motivational speakers, suicide awareness programmes as well as a raffle, postcard competition and a half-marathon was completed by four prisoners with the first two completing the incredible feat only seconds over the 90 minute mark. >>WV

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Time In

Poetry Pages THE THINGS WE CARRY

A (C)ODE Letters are represented by 3-digit tertiary numbers, encoded in order starting with ‘K.’ So, ‘K’=000; ‘L’=001, ‘M’=002 and so on.

Once ‘Z’ is reached, a ‘space’ is encoded as 121 before continuing as before from the letter ‘A’ (‘A’=122, ‘B’=123…)

The numerical digits are then represented by a coloured block (approximately 10x15mm).

Black represents 1, Red 2 and Purple 0.

The text reads: I have seen criminals and whores And spoken with them. Now I inquire If you believe them, made now as they are To drag their rags in blood and mire Preordained, an evil race?

You to whom all men are prey Have made them what they are today.

The text is a poem by Louise Michel.>>JPW Page 30

we carry missed birthdays and Christmases with our children partners and family lots of missed firsts first steps. first days at school and other important milestones we carry tooters and utensils to take our drugs we carry addiction antisocial personalities mental health issues that plague our lives the trauma of a society that is violent we carry a heightened fight or flight response over reacting because our brains don’t work right we carry fear but it makes us angry and lash out we carry the broken hearts of everyone we left behind especially the ones who are too young to understand why we carry a motivation to make things better a reason to prove we have changed and mend those hearts we have broken if we can…>>PC

STEAM The going slow man drove a steam engine For a living.

Giving rides to those with no purpose, Than to go back, back.

To when the land was black.

And the clouds were powered by steam, That changed shape and colourFor a bucket of coal.

Chugging past fields of green.

Hawthorn bushes, ripe with berries.

Crumbling churches, ripe with hope.

Old age never tarries. An end of an age.

Holy smoke.>>DMcC

Issue 20, Summer 2023

TREE IN THE MEADOW

THE CIRCLE IT IS CLOSING

There is a meadow in my perfect world, Where wind dances the branches of a tree, Casting leopard spots of light across the face of a pond…

The tree stands tall and alone, shading the world beneath it.

The circle it is closing Like a compass on a page A curve that’s always ending A silvered metal cage

There will come a day when I rest against its spine And look out over a valley where the sun warms, but never burns…

I will watch leaves turn green, then amber, then crimson, Then no leaves at all…

But the tree will not die for in this place winter never comes, It is here in the cradle of all I hold dear, I guard every memory of you.>>DF

WAVES Waves, waves.

Ever crashing waves.

Super-spray of water from Ocean bound slaves.

Slippery rocks, upon which No-one is safe.

Because of waves.

Waves rise and fall.

No circles at all.

Up and down go waves, That crash on the rocks.

Monosyllabic if they could talk.

The jet of a sperm whale, Jets through waves.

Resounding, triumphant waves.

Wavy- haired Dave waves.

Sunken ships sunk, In watery graves.

Beneath oceans.

Oceans of waves.>>DMcC

No ending or beginning Like an ever turning wheel No escape or exit From the way that you must feel. >>SJ (3rd place in Men’s Mental Health Week Postcard Competition)

PRIDE AND SOLIDARITY On my darkest days other me carried me.

The burden was great but none complained.

They stood tall beside me when other had forsaken, in Pride and Solidarity When it all got too much and I wanted to leave, They held my hand tight until I was able to breathe.

The decisions were hard but selflessly they were made, in Pride and Solidarity.

I never had friends before and it makes little sense to me that in this barren wasteland I found not one, nor two nor three.

A group of men loyal and strong prepared to do what is fair and just, in Pride and Solidarity.

Thank you doesn’t seem enough I love you falls short too.

Our paths might diverge, but to each other we stay devoted.

Our friendship will endure a life time, my friends and my brothers, In Pride and Solidarity.>>DON Page 31

Time In Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) is a registered charity that seeks to provide access to the arts for people who have offended in Northern Ireland. Our mission is to inspire creativity and encourage personal and social change in offenders within the criminal justice system, through the arts.

Magazine Education Centre HMP Magilligan Point Road Limavady BT49 0LR

Prison Arts Foundation Unit 3, Clanmil Arts & Business Centre, Northern Whig Building, 2-10 Bridge Street, Belfast, BT1 1LU Phone : 028 90247872 Email: info@prisonartsfoundation.com

A meditation of mind put into rhyme Sit down and quiet yourself this time Quiet your mind and your soul will speak And you will learn that life’s truly mystique Learn to be calm and you will never feel stress Always be present and you will find success When you have mastered your concentration You will not only enjoy your destination But relish in the way that you get there Know this and become self-aware If you want to find your Chi Remember the words of Bruce lee Put water into a cup it becomes the cupPut water into a bottle it becomes the bottle— Put it in a teapot it becomes the teapotWater can flow, water can crash Become the water! My friend.

I am Present, I am Peaceful, I am Calm. >>GL

>>PH

All contributions welcome. While reasonable care has been taken in the preparation of material in the magazine, TIME IN accepts no responsibility in law for accuracy or contents of each issue. No item may be reproduced without the written permission of PAF. Printed by onpointprinting@btconnect.com Phone: 028 777 20 598

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