December 2024 December 2024
PPAL PATHFINDER PPAL PATHFINDER
PARENT/PROFESSIONAL ADVOCACY LEAGUE, INC.
PARENT/PROFESSIONAL ADVOCACY LEAGUE, INC.
FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Well, they’re here! The holidays, that is. Are they really holidays for you? Or, are they more like “holi-daze?”
This can be such a difficult time for so many of us. The joy of family, traditions, and gifts is supposed to abound. There are parties, gatherings, and laughter. I hope it is all of that and more for you. Yet, I know that for many of you, it is a time of sadness, disappointment, and maybe even anger. You may have a child in the hospital or residential care, who won’t get out of bed, who is aggressive, or who is completely dysregulated in some other way. You may not look forward to celebrating anything or you may not have the energy (or funds) to do so. All the social media posts that show Lifetime-movieworthy pictures, just make you feel isolated, and different. Maybe it’s you that can’t get out of bed. I get it. I really do.
In this issue we talk a lot about family. Our hope is that you’ll take what you can or want from it. Remember, family is what you decide it is. Our families are different. So, we look for and celebrate the glimmers. Those moments of joy, progress, or success (for you or your child!) – even if that is showering, getting dressed, or staying off of social media for a few hours. Maybe it’s a few minutes of connection with your child – even if that is in a hospital. One glimmer, might lead to another, and another. But no matter what, during this time, please honor your feelings and do (or not do) what you need. The feelings need to be felt, your wishes need to be honored. Do it for yourself. You deserve that. I wish you peace during this time.
Be well, my friends. Que le vaya bien, mis amigos.
Pam Sager
UPCOMING WORKSHOPS CONNECT WITH US!
CLICK ON A TITLE FOR MORE INFO!
or visit http://ppal.net/events/
Qué Saber, Qué Esperar: Justicia Juvenil 102
Martes, 12/17/24, 5:00 - 6:30 PM
What to Know, What to Expect: Juvenile Justice 102
Thursday, 12/19/24, 5:00 - 6:30 PM
Moving To Young Adult Life: Transition Planning And Post Secondary Options
Monday, 12/20/24, 11:00 AM - 12:30 PM
Guardianship is Not the Only Option: Supporting Decisions in Adulthood
Monday, 1/6/25, 6:00 - 8:00 PM
La Tutela No Es La Única Opción: Apoyo Para Toma
De Decisiones En La Edad Adulta
Lunes, 1/13/25, 6:00 - 8:00 PM
Find all of our workshops at PPAL.net/Events!
PPAL
For More information go to PPAL NET FREEServices. Noinsurance required.
Parent/Caregiver Support
MONDAY
Are you navigating the mental or behavioral health systems for a child, teen, or young adult?
Request 1:1 peer support!
We have NO waitlist!
Virtual: Grupo de Apoyo Hispanol
10:00 AM - 12:00 PM
Virtual: Parents Raising LGBTQIA+ Children
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM
Hybrid: Parenting Young Adults - Looking to the Future
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM
WEDNESDAY
Virtual: Soul Sessions
9:00 - 9:30 AM
Virtual: Relax & Connect 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM
Virtual: Parenting Young AdultsLooking to the Future
6:00 PM - 8:00 PM
TUESDAY
Hybrid: Caregiver Connections
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM
Virtual: Soul Sessions 12:00 - 12:30 PM
THURSDAY
Virtual: Grandparents Lunch and Learn 2nd Thursday 12:00 - 2:00 PM
Virtual: Soul Sessions 5:00 - 5:30 PM
Virtual: Grandparents Connections 4th Thursday 6:30 - 8:30 PM
Do you need help navigating and advocating in the school system for a loved one with mental or behavioral health needs? Book an Ask The Advocate Appointment parentsupportgroup@ppal net
Virtual: Parent Support Group 6:00 - 8:00 PM
FRIDAY
Virtual: Parenting Power UP 12:00 PM - 2:00 PM
Don’t Miss Your Opportunity To Provide Meaningful Feedback To MassHealth and PPAL About Your Experiences With CBHI Services For Your Child (under 21) In The Last Five Years.
We NEED your input. Your input will help us help you and all families with mental health needs.
If you have more than one child receiving CBHI services, please answer by combining all of your experiences.
Voices Around the Table
by Pam Sager
A year ago, I said my final goodbye to my 95-year-old mother. When making arrangements in my home state of Florida, I entered the main viewing room at the funeral home and was shocked. Instead of the typical pews or chairs in lines across the room, the room was filled with round tables. My first reaction was that they must use this room for multi-purposes. Banquet room by day, viewing room by night? When I asked about the tables, the funeral director handed me a framed piece by Max Lucado, an American author and minister (this is not an endorsement of his religious beliefs.) What it said follows (the references to church could be any type of gathering place):
Why the round tables?
Something holy happens around a dinner table that will never happen in a sanctuary. In a church auditorium you see the backs of heads. Around the table you see the expressions on faces. In the auditorium one person speaks; around the table everyone has a voice. Church services are on the clock. Around the table there is time to talk.
Hospitality opens the door to uncommon community. It’s no accident that hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word, for they both lead to the same result: healing.
As my Mom’s services were held, I saw this played out. Friends and family were gathered; talking with one another; sharing memories, and hospitality. Visitors were making connections, and remembering connections, and coming together in an “uncommon community.” There was time to talk, and everyone had a voice. It was reassuring, and healing. And a reminder that life is about connection.
We don’t always have a choice, but if we do, or if we can, or if only some of us do or can, find a table and sit. Watch the expressions of those you’re with. Take the time to talk. Share some hospitality. Open the door, and let some healing in.
PPAL's Question of the Month October 2024 Results
What
Chapter 688 Transition Planning Referrals: What
are families saying?
is Chapter 688?
Chapter 688 is a MA law requiring public schools to begin a post-high school transition process for kids on IEP's at least two-years before graduation or when special ed services end, whichever comes first. At that time, the school district may make a 688 referral to human services agencies such as DMH, DDS, MRC and the Bureau of Transition Planning, if needed.
For more info: https://www.doe.mass.edu/sped/iep/688/
2 out of 3 families shared they were not informed about Chapter 688 from their child’s school.
When informed, it most often happened in 10th & 11th grades. Did school offer 688 info?
PPAL Tip: If your child has an IEP, you can initiate the 688 referral process at any time. This will help you understand the options available to your child. Ask early in high school as this process may take some time.
If you need help from PPAL right now, request family support here or call us toll free at (866) 815-8122.
PPAL's Question of the Month November 2024 Results
Talking with children about law enforcement: What are families saying?
From an early age, many PPAL families talk with their children about law enforcement.
Nearly 60% of responding families have talked with their child about how to interact with law enforcement, such as police, school resource officers, security staff.
Most families spoke with their child at an early age 76% of families first initiated this conversation with their child in elementary or middle school.
Ever wondered or worried about talking with law enforcement? You are not alone and PPAL can help.
PPAL offers free family support crisis planning workshop (Pre-Planning for a Mental Health Crisis: The Road to Readiness) helpful resources
Need Help During a Crisis? Who should families call during a mental health crisis? A family can be in crisis and not need to call 911. Information here.
PPAL has dedicated staff knowledgeable about courts, arrests, detention, and accessing services for youth with mental health needs in the juvenile justice system to help families with navigating, accessing services, or just hanging in there.
If you suspect that at some point you may need to call 911 for a mental health crisis, take a few steps ahead of time to help things go more smoothly. Click here for more info.
For Emergency First Responders, PPAL has the Police Pocket Guide and offers workshops throughout the year.
The Family Table
by Pam Sager
There is a growing epidemic in the world. No, not another COVID. Not the flu either. In fact, not a medical epidemic at all. It’s the “endangered family” epidemic. More and more parents and caregivers, and more and more children and youth are reporting a sense of disconnectedness with one another. A 2019 study in the UK of 1000 parents with children through age 18 found that parents feel disconnected from their children (Cadbury Heroes as reported in The Daily Express 2019). The parents cited video games, phones, and staying in their bedrooms (probably with video games and phones!) as the primary reasons for the lack of connection. Not surprisingly, this sense of disconnection became more dramatic starting at about age 13.
Despite the fact that parents wanted connectedness with their children, the Cadbury Heroes study determined that most parents spent no more than 4 hours per week actually talking with their kids. A US Nielsen survey found that number to be as low as 40 minutes per week!
As parents of kids with mental health challenges, we know that maintaining a connection with our children can be especially challenging. Not only do we have the same issues cited above – video games, phones, and bedrooms – but we also have the sometimes very challenging symptoms of mental health to deal with. Depression and anxiety may keep kids in their rooms. Video games may increase aggression. Phones may contribute to OCD-like symptoms. And sometimes, we might be too exhausted to worry or think about it all. A kid in their room may be welcome peace. However, we also know that this type of isolation can lead to more severe depression, anxiety, aggression, and OCD symptoms.
So, what’s the solution? First, as you’ve likely experienced as a parent of a child with mental health challenges, there is no single solution. Instead, there are likely many small solutions. One of them is something that families are “trying on” again. Something that some of us may have grown up with but have gotten away from given the stressors and obligations of current life. It’s the family dinner table.
Now, before you roll your eyes and say to yourself “I don’t have time for that!!!!” or “Are you kidding me? I can’t get my child to get dressed let alone come to the dinner table!”, hear me out. We don’t have to go big. We don’t have to do it every night. We don’t have to be fancy. Heck, we don’t even have to use real plates. Paper products will do! And, in fact, it doesn’t even have to be dinner. Maybe a weekend breakfast? Maybe a gathering around the table for ice cream?
There is one goal to doing this. One goal only – to create connection between you and your child.
Here’s what we know scientifically. Regular family dinner time is associated with a lower incidence of depressive symptoms and suicidal thoughts; a lower risk of smoking, drinking, and drug use; better grades in 11-18 year olds [source: Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine 2004); lower risk of eating disorders in girls [source: University of Minnesota, 2004]; and fewer emotional and behavioral problems and greater emotional wellbeing [source: Journal of Adolescent Health 2012]. According to an American Heart Association (yes, eating dinner together has physical health benefits as well), 91% of parents say their family is less stressed when they eat meals together!
Here's what we know from experience. Regular family dinner time strengthens family bonds and results in better relationships between parents and youth. It gives kids a place to belong. It cultivates conversation and storytelling which results in better communication skills. It instills confidence, reduces stress, and celebrates successes. It enables parents to more naturally and effectively provide guidance. And it provides an opportunity to laugh together. Less stress and laughter? Sounds like a winning combination!
Conagra Brands reports that in the US 10% of families never eat dinner together and 40% eat dinner together, at most, up to three times per week. Yet, 88% of parents wish it could be more. In an article by Elise Museles (elisemuseles.com), she writes that as hard as it was for her to pull everyone together with their busy schedules, she found herself looking at her family and thinking “This is what life’s really about!” She goes on to say that even when it’s not easy (which it may not be for us mental health warrior parents!), it’s always worth it.
Are you still doubtful that you can pull it off? Are work schedules, commutes, afterschool activities and care, therapist and doctor’s appointments, distractions, and other pressures getting in the way of you even considering it? Are you wondering how this could possibly work with your kid’s symptoms and behaviors? Honestly, we can’t promise that it will. But, if you’d like to give it a try, here are some suggestions for starting off slow. And, as Elise Museles found out above, it might just be really worth it.
Be willing to start off slow. If weekly won’t work for you, shoot for once per month. Make sure the whole family knows when it is, what your expectations are, and that it’s important to you. (Fingers crossed that it will eventually be important to them too.) I’ve decided to do Second Sunday Dinner (even though my kids are young adults now.) We’ll have dinner around my table on the second Sunday of every month. They know in advance and can plan it into their schedule. I will prioritize it, not change it, and eventually, I believe, they will prioritize it too. (By the way, my oldest can now sit through an entire meal. There is hope!)
Keep it simple. Plan simple and quick meals. Maybe you prep the meals on the weekend so you’re just reheating? Get your kids involved if you can. Maybe they can chop food items? Set the table or fold napkins creatively. Maybe they’ll do nothing or won’t even participate. That’s ok too. Give them time and space. Let them know they can come anytime. Have the dinner anyway. This is not about perfection. It’s about creating time and space for connection, for making memories, and for creating family rituals.
Set the environment for conversation and laughter. As hard as it is for all of us, that means no phones or tablets at the table and no TV’s on in the background. Set the expectation that you’d like this to be leisurely. It’s not about scarfing down their food and rushing to leave the table. Being silly can help lighten the mood. Who has the worst joke? Who can do the best impression? What was the best part of your day? Or maybe you use some of those conversation cards? Once you get in the swing of things, conversations could get a bit more serious. What is something that you’re proud of? How do you feel right now? Is anything worrying you this week? This is not a time for reprimands.
Stay consistent. If you want others to honor the family dinner time, you must do it first –even if you’re doing it alone, and even if it is really hard. Keep reminding them gently that it’s time for family dinner. Keep reminding yourself that it will be worth it! Let us know how it goes!
For more ideas, check out Eat, Laugh, Talk: The Family Dinner Playbook from The Family Dinner Project (thefamilydinnerproject.org) right here in Massachusetts! You can order it on amazon.
Twelve Tips for Surviving the Holidays
Do you worry that the “most wonderful time of the year” will actually turn into the “most dreaded time of the year?” The holidays can be unpredictable, stressful, and disappointing for some. The past experiences of trauma and grief can elevate one’s vulnerability, sadness, or anger. NAMI indicates that 64% of people with mental health challenges felt their condition worsened during the holidays. Here are a few tips that might help you navigate the holidays in your home. We hope some of them might resonate with you.
Don’t overschedule. It’s ok to say “no” – without excuse.
Give up perfectionism. The holidays should reflect your family - holiday spirit or not. Set your expectations accordingly.
Unplug as much as possible. Social media perpetuates comparisons – much of which is not based in reality. Most people don’t come away from social media happier.
Ask your child to share one thing that they’d like to do, and then do it (within reason, of course.)
Involve your child in planning for the holidays, if possible. This gives them a sense of belonging and control.
Think about your plans ahead of time. What do you think might be difficult for your child? Ask them what might be difficult Agree on ways to make it easier for them
Discuss plans ahead of time so your child knows what to expect. Have a contingency plan, such as a place your child can go, headphones they can use, a code word to tell you they’ve had enough, just in case Support and validate their need for this
Try to keep on a sleep schedule. No one is at their best when they are fatigued
Be aware of a possible let down. There is often so much hype around the holidays There might be gift expectations Scenarios created in your child’s mind When these don’t happen, there can be a dramatic “let down.” Be on the lookout for it and practice compassion.
Truly let go of what you can’t control. You’ll be happier for it.
Acknowledge your own feelings around the holidays and give yourself grace. Practicing soul care during this time is more important than ever!
Stay calm and go with the flow (even if there’s a lot of rocks!) It’s hard. But you can do it.
PPAL’s Multicultural Outreach
PPAL is invited to many events in the community! We are always pleased to share valuable mental health information and resources with attendees. Sometimes you’ll find us hosting a meet & greet with a short presentation about children’s mental health Other times, we’ll be at resources fairs! Our tables attract many families who are eager to find support and learn more about the various mental health services available in the community.
Engaging with local families and answering your questions is always a rewarding experience, and we look forward to continuing our outreach efforts to support the mental health needs of Boston and all Massachusetts communities!
Where Have We Been This Fall?
PPAL partnered with the Worcester Community Action Council and participated in several Resource Fairs. Two fairs are held monthly in Leicester and Worcester, where L and various other organizations are present
lso attended the 5th Central Mass Hispanic Heritage kfast. At this event, we networked, represented our American community, and discussed mental health.
dedicated volunteer, Magali Galvis, attended the on Public Health Commission Internal Resource Fair, mportant event aimed at empowering BPHC staff with wledge about mental wellness.
PPAL partnered with the Boston Public Library to establish a table dedicated to fostering community engagement and promoting awareness about mental health.
PPAL participated in the Fall Resource Fair hosted by Union Capital Boston, a networking event that attracted many families from the Boston area. Our involvement provided mental health information and resources to the community.
On November 5, PPAL held a professional development session for Community Workers at Fall River Public Schools. Gabriela Ortega and Raquel Negron led the session, sharing meaningful insights into PPAL's mission and services and emphasizing the importance of lived experience in mental health support. Their presentation drew on Gabriela and Raquel's experiences, making the discussion impactful and relatable.
The Harbor Area Family Resource Center recently held its annual Fall Resource Fair, attended by several families who expressed a deep interest in discussing mental health and its stigma. We partnered with the Harbor Area Family Resource Center, and Johana Rodriguez conducted their first workshop, titled "Basic Fundamentals of Mental Health." Due to the growing interest, this workshop will be offered to other support groups at the FRC in the coming months!
Únase a nosotros para conectarse, aprender y apoyar a otros padres que crían niños con necesidades sociales, emocionales o de salud mental. ¡Únase a nosotros en su teléfono, computadora o tableta desde la comodidad de su hogar para una conversación confidencial.
parentsupportgroup@ppal.net
Youth Move Massachusetts
YMM has started a monthly newsletter campaign that includes upcoming trainings, opportunities for youth to get involved, resources, and activities. Every month, the newsletter features a blog post written by a young person with lived experience. YMM has also been focusing on social media this year as part of its mission to educate about mental health and break the stigma surrounding it. All YMM posts are created by youth, for youth!
Thanks to support from DMH’s Transition-Aged Youth program, YMM introduced a new training for transition-aged youth, Employment Basics for Young Adults and Parents. This training is devoted to sharing information and resources necessary to equip young adults for the workforce, including building resumes, interview skills, and mental health/disability disclosure. The training has been a popular addition, with registration filling up each month it's offered!
Youth MOVE Massachusetts continues to offer virtual Building Authentic Youth Engagement and Partnership, a youth-led training that helps adults become authentic partners, advocates, and allies for all youth. Additionally, Youth MOVE MA offers Talk Saves Lives, an American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) training covering the scope of suicide, prevention research, and what people can do to fight suicide. YMM has also successfully provided in-person Strategic Sharing training through partnerships with youth-serving organizations statewide. Strategic Sharing is designed to equip young people to share their mental health journey in a way that is safe, meaningful, and effective
YMM has focused on strategic growth by actively listening to young people's input on our organization. We've hosted two in-person events centered on these youth perspectives. Early in the year, we held a Strategic Planning group where young people shared their visions, aspirations, and potential challenges for YMM. Later in the year, we held a follow-up event with similar goals, setting the stage for 2025. In January 2025, YMM will launch its first Youth featuring a panel of committed youth and supportive adults.
Juvenile Justice Team Updates
This fall, PPAL had the honor to be selected to participate in the first ever crosssystem training in the Trauma and Racial Equity Empowerment (TREE) Academy. TREE Academy is a collaboration between the Department of Youth Services (DYS) and the Office of the Child Advocate (OCA) with the intention to create effective change in racial equity.
Check out this great video shared at the event:
Disrupting the Trauma Cycle Trauma not Transformed is Trauma Transferred | Tabitha Mpamira-Kaguri https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=b4loBphYCXI
Our Associate Director Meri Viano attended the training alongside our Juvenile Justice Program Manager Candice Gabrey! This first session focused on Trauma and Resilience. Future sessions do a deep dive on racial equity and cover other areas of children’s justice issues.
PPAL joins the National Federation of Families in celebrating its 35th Anniversary!
In November, Pam Sager (Executive Director), Meri Viano (Associate Director), and Johana Rodriguez (Statewide/Multicultural Program Director attended the National Federation of Families’ annual conference held this year in Orlando, Florida. Over 900 participants representing family voice in children’s mental health and substance use gathered for 3 days to learn, honor, and celebrate the work we do, the journeys we’ve had, and the families we serve! It was an exhausting and awe-inspiring time offering nationwide connection with organizations like PPAL.
The keynote speaker, David Ambroz, author of A Place Called Home, shared his personal story of growing up walking the streets of New York City with his mother, who suffered from significant mental challenges, and his siblings, constantly looking for shelter. His experiences included train stations, 24-hour diners, under bridges, door wells, public restrooms for baths, and stealing food for hunger. No school, no bed, no hope. And, when finally placed in foster care, he was abused in all but one foster home. He found solace in libraries and schools.
Somehow, David was able to harness an inner grit and unwavering resolve that eventually led him to a college scholarship, law school, the lead of corporate responsibility for Walt Disney Television, and then the head of community engagement (West) for Amazon. Today, he spends his time advocating for foster kids. He is now a single foster Dad who gets it more than most do.
His story is one of resilience, transformation, and finding hope. You can find his book at on Amazon HERE
We heard from Paolo del Vecchio, Director of SAMHSA’s Office of Recovery (Mental Health and Substance Use), and two mothers, Muriel Jones and Cheryl Deas, who shared their stories of their child’s incarceration and suicide, respectively.
All of this bolstered our commitment, individually and as an organization, to meet our families where they’re at, and provide the support and education that they need, when they need it, and how they need it.
The National Federation of Families (NFF) is a national family-run organization linking more than 120 affiliates and partners focused on the issues of families whose children –of any age – experience mental health and/or substance use challenges during their lifetime. It was conceived in Arlington, Virginia in February 1989 by a group of 18 people determined to make a difference in the way the system works. NFF is an example of dedicated parents and caregivers making change happen. PPAL is an affiliate of the NFF.
Planning is well underway for PPAL's 14th Annual Conference on May 30, 2025. It's the largest children's mental health conference in New England - and you can be part of it! Visit this link: https://bit.ly/PPALSponsor25 to consider sponsoring our conference this year!
This year, we're excited to offer a virtual conference with free admission for families and a modest admission for professionals.
Here's how you can help us spread the word!
Visit our Facebook page to like, comment on, and share our posts with your network.
To share this Conference Sponsorship page with others, send them this link: https://bit.ly/SPONSOR-PPAL
Tell families, colleagues, and co-workers about our upcoming Conference and encourage them to attend.
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December 2024 December 2024
PPAL PATHFINDER PPAL PATHFINDER
PARENT/PROFESSIONAL ADVOCACY LEAGUE, INC.
PARENT/PROFESSIONAL ADVOCACY LEAGUE, INC.
“This
too shall
pass.” “This too shall pass.”
- Shlomo, King of - Shlomo, King of Israel, 837-797 BCE Israel, 837-797 BCE