MY PERSONAL JOURNEY : Poetry Planet International Literary magazine June 2024

 With my Demons’ Journey – Marites Ritumalta

 RETURNING HOME:A Writer's Journey from the Depths of Imagination –Liege Lord Lanre

 May Personal Journey – Kishor Kunar Mishra

 Searching For Success In Writing - Okoi Amadiowei Jacob

 My Personal Journey – Madhuri Kulkarni

 The Road, I Didn’t Choose – Sudha Dixit

 My Crossroads

 Reshape Reality – Anjana Prasad

 My Journey - Vijaylaxmi Sarmah

 The Journey Of My Little Heart - Harppreet M. Caur

 Plying On The Predestined Paths – Ritu Kamra Kumar

 A Self-educated Writer's Journey – Liege Lord Lanre

 Editor’s Note

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Email: maritesritumalta@gmail.com

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As I reflect upon the journey I have had in my life, I can't help but liken it to a stony road, filled with obstacles at every turn. It has been a harsh and challenging path, not only due to the people I have encountered, but also the battles I have fought within myself.

I was raised in a home that was initially filled with happiness, but sadly, my parents' relationship deteriorated, leading to their separation. Our once secure and loving home became broken, leaving a lasting impact on my life. I vividly recall the holidays when I couldn't return home because there was no longer a place to call a home. It was during these times that I felt a profound sense of loneliness and longing for the stability and warmth that a home should provide.

Along with the challenges within my family, I have also faced numerous setbacks in my personal relationships. I have experienced the fleeting nature of romantic love, as no boyfriend has stood the test of time. This has left me feeling alone for a significant portion of my life, yearning for a connection that seems to elude me.

In my quest for connection and support, I found solace in the friendships I cultivated along the way. These friends became my chosen family, individuals I could lean on and confide in. However, my inner demons posed a challenge in maintaining these relationships. Struggling with my own personal battles, it became difficult to keep good friends who truly understood me. The weight of my insecurities, self-doubt, and past traumas made it challenging for others to comprehend the depths of my struggles.

I eventually found love and companionship in my marriage. But the road to a smooth and harmonious relationship was not without its hurdles. My inner demons continued to haunt me, affecting my ability to maintain a healthy and stable partnership. The scars from past experiences made it arduous to trust and fully open up to my spouse. Yet, with the unwavering support and understanding nature of my husband, I began to slowly overcome these obstacles.

One of the demons I grappled with was my own insecurities. I often found myself belittling my own worth and questioning my abilities. The trauma I carried from my broken family further exacerbated these insecurities. However, as I embarked on the journey of motherhood, my perspective began to shift. I gave birth to three little angels who became my whole world.

Their innocent love and unwavering belief in me ignited a newfound selfconfidence within me. The responsibility of nurturing and raising these precious souls inspired me to grow as a person.

It was during this transformative period that I discovered the power of writing. Through the written word, I found an outlet for my emotions, fears, and dreams. As I poured my heart onto the pages, my self-confidence blossomed. Writing became a form of therapy, a means to heal and express myself authentically. The process of putting my thoughts and experiences into words allowed me to confront my inner demons head-on.

With each passing day, I grew stronger, both as an individual and as a mother. The love and support of my children, coupled with the cathartic release of writing, propelled me forward on my journey of self-discovery. I began to shed the weight of my past, embracing a newfound sense of self-worth and resilience.

While my journey has been marked by struggles and inner demons, it has also been a testament to the power of reliance and personal growth. Through the support of chosen family and the unwavering love of my husband, I have found the strength to confront my insecurities and heal from past traumas. The gift of motherhood has further fueled my determination to overcome obstacles and become the best version of myself.

As I continue along this path of self-discovery, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the growth achieved. My journey is far from over, but I face the future with renewed confidence and a deep sense of purpose. My children remain my greatest inspiration, propelling me forward on this ever-evolving journey of reliance, growth, and self-love.

Throughout my journey, I have come to understand that true happiness and fulfillment do not solely rely on external circumstances or the presence of others. Instead, they stem from within, from a deep sense of self-acceptance and self-love. I have learned to find solace in my own company and to appreciate the beauty of solitude. It is through these moments of introspection that I have discovered my own strength and resilience.

While my journey may have been stony and filled with obstacles, it has also been a source of growth and self-discovery.

I have learned to navigate the twists and turns, the highs and lows, with grace and determination. Each setback has taught me valuable lessons and propelled me forward on my path of personal growth.

As I continue on this journey, I am filled with hope and optimism. I know that there will still be challenges to face and obstacles to overcome, but I am confident in my ability to weather the storms. I have learned that it is through the difficult times that we truly grow and find our inner strength. My stony journey has shaped me into the resilient and determined individual I am today. I am grateful for the lessons learned, the strength gained, and the person I have become. As I move forward, I embrace the challenges that lie ahead, knowing that each step on this stony road brings me closer to a brighter and more fulfilling future.

RETURNING HOME: A Writer's Journey from the Depths of Imagination

The vastness of Space represents the infinite possibilities that lie within the imagination of a writer a limitless canvas on which to paint a tapestry of emotions, experiences, and journeys. The sea of Space teaches us the importance of exploration and venturing into the unknown. Just as astronauts brave the open space, writers must be willing to take risks, to challenge themselves creatively, and to break free from the confines of comfort zones. In the firmament of literature , there exists a visionary writer who embarks on a journey akin to that of an astronaut exploring the unknown. This writer, much like a space traveler, delves into the depths of imagination, venturing into uncharted territories to uncover stories waiting to be told. And just like an astronaut returning home from space, this accomplished writer experiences a unique transformation upon their triumphant return.

Imagine, if you will, the writer's odyssey as they set forth into the realm of imagination, their pen poised like a rocket ready for liftoff With every stroke of ink, they embark on a mission to explore worlds both real and fantastical, diving into the depths of human emotions and unearthing the universal truths that lie within They traverse the cosmos of creativity, where constellations of ideas sparkle with infinite potential

The journey of a writer is not without its challenges and sacrifices Like an astronaut floating weightlessly in space, the writer experiences moments of doubt, loneliness, and the pressing weight of responsibility But with unwavering determination and a heart filled with passion, they forge ahead, braving the vastness of the unknown

As the writer's voyage reaches its zenith, they are immersed in a kaleidoscope of experiences Each story they pen is a star in their ever-expanding galaxy, forming constellations of literary prowess And just like an astronaut marveled by the awe-inspiring beauty of the universe, the writer is captivated by the wonders their words create They witness the impact their stories have on readers, igniting sparks of inspiration and sparking conversations that traverse the barrier of time

However, no matter how far the writer ventures into the abyss of their imagination, a longing for home begins to stir within their soul Like an astronaut yearning to return to the familiar embrace of Earth, the writer craves the tenderness of roots, the comfort of routine, and the warmth of human connections They yearn to share their experiences with loved ones and bask in the appreciation of their literary voyages

SEARCHING FOR SUCCESS IN WRITING

OKOI AMADIOWEI JACOB

My writing career was abruptly initiated by a poor performance in school. After being outperformed by a female student in my Class Two Examination, I took the time to evaluate the cause of my subpar performance. I was surprised to discover that my English Language Paper was to blame. Determined to improve, I decided to increase my study hours for English Language.

My thirst for understanding the English Language led me to develop a special interest in Literature in English. I came across an intriguing novel titled "The Concubine" by Elechi Amadi The captivating storyline ignited my love for literature. Inspired, I resolved to become a creative writer and purchased twenty-four literature books from the market, including short stories, novelettes, novels, plays, and poetry anthologies. The bookseller was astonished by the number of books I bought and asked if I was a bookseller myself. I replied, "No," but expressed my aspiration to be like the authors of those books She kindly prayed for my success, and I left the store that morning with her well wishes. I finished reading those twenty-four literary texts and continued to acquire more books in subsequent editions.

Since then, I have been on a continuous learning journey, honing my writing skills. I am now on the path to becoming a successful writer, as prayed for by that particular bookseller at Mile One Market. My success in creative writing is evident through the series of engaging poems I have composed and shared on various online platforms. I am an active contributor to several international writing platforms. On January 24, 2022, I was voted the Best Poet of the Week in Poetry Planet Online's weekly edition. A year later, I was honored as the Best Article Writer of the Year 2023 by Poetry Planet Online International Magazine in the Philippines. My dream of becoming a creative writer, which originated from the disappointment of being outperformed by a female student in my Class Two examination, has now become a reality and a success story.

Fortuitously, I attended the inaugural meeting of the Association of Nigerian Authors, Bayelsa State Chapter, where the Guest Speaker, Chief Otobotekere Ambakaderemo, provided valuable counsel to young writers. He revealed the secret solution to our writing challenges: "Make corrections in your writing until every error is corrected before taking it to the public." This statement became my guiding principle, allowing me to write, edit, and revise multiple times before sharing my work on public platforms. It serves as the most effective tip that has contributed to my success as a writer.

Other significant factors that have propelled me to this level of success include: determination to succeed despite failures, acquiring relevant books for study, devoting quality time to studying the storylines of books by different authors, striving for vocabulary development, employing alliterated phrases effectively, writing, editing, rewriting, and making corrections until every error is rectified in my earlier works, embracing mistakes as part of the writing process, and not taking offense when others point out errors in my writing. These positive attributes have played a crucial role in my success as a writer and may also benefit other aspiring writers in their respective careers in the near future.

Becoming an accomplished writer is not an easy task achieved overnight; it is a gradual process that requires patience and commitment to its intricate processes. Those who remain dedicated to observing these processes will find success in the future.

THE JOURNEY OF MY LIFE

KISHOR KUMAR MISHRA

It was approximately one hour after midnight when I made my entrance into this world with my first cry. As I cried in my parents' home, I'm unsure how many people could hear me. However, I am certain that my parents and a nursing staff member enjoyed the sound. My elder brother, who was two years old at the time, must have been pleasantly surprised to find a new family member in the morning.

I was born nearly sixty-four years ago in Sambalpur, a town in western Odisha, India, where my father worked as a police officer. Our native place is Barambagarh, a small town in the Cuttack district of Odisha.

Growing up, I developed a keen interest in pictures and rhymes from my elder brother's books. My mother recalls that I could recite those rhymes from memory, even before recognizing the letters and words. This caught my father's attention, and he enrolled me in a nearby school before I turned five.

My first day of school was disappointing. All the other students seemed older than me, and I felt like a sheep among a pack of wolves The sight of the short-heighted class teacher and the other children overwhelmed me. I couldn't recognize the letters and numbers on the blackboard, and I struggled to write. As soon as the teacher turned away, I hastily packed my school bag and ran home

I don't recall when or how I resumed my studies, but I completed Class I that year

My father was transferred to Angul, another town, where I completed up to the mid-term of Class III. Here, I had my first experience of staying in a straw-thatched officer's bungalow, watching movies, and occasionally witnessing jet planes releasing white smoke high in the sky.

We then moved to Bhubaneswar, the capital city of Odisha, where we settled for a long time, and I completed my post-graduate (PG) studies.

Our family consists of our parents, seven brothers, and one sister.

Childhood is filled with curiosity, and mine was no exception. I had curiosities about various observations, such as the occurrence of day and night, changing seasons, clouds and rain, hailstones, rainbows, sea waves, the growth of trees from seeds, voice transmission through telephones, the flight of airplanes, lenses, and prisms, among others.

I had a passion for reading stories and classical novels, always striving to finish books as quickly as possible. I read poems by famous poets and tried to remember a few lines. I also had a passion for writing small poems.

After completing my primary and secondary schooling, I gained admission to the science stream of the best college in my city, and one of the best in the state. Following my intermediate and undergraduate (UG) courses, I pursued a post-graduate (PG) course in Chemistry at Utkal University, the best university in my state.

I consistently performed well in examinations and even received scholarships. My academic results served as the main driving force in my journey

Every person has dreams and hopes, and I was no exception. I dreamt of becoming an engineer, a scientist, or a college teacher. Since I didn't pursue an engineering course, the dream of becoming an engineer was ruled out During my PG studies, I developed a strong desire to become a teacher. However, during that time, I was selected for an engineering job, which I declined in favor of continuing my studies.

Once again, I was selected for the same job and received a call for one-year pre-job training. This time, I had to make a decision. It was a regular telecom engineering job in the government sector, and I chose it over my part-time teaching job. I resigned from the part-time position, joined the new job, and underwent the pre-job training 12

This marked the foundation of my 36-year-long career

Life is a journey. At times, we feel in control, but at other times, circumstances force us to accept that destiny holds the reins. Life moves forward, and time keeps rolling. The present becomes the past, and the future becomes the present.

Just as studying is vital during student life, performing efficiently in the working world plays a crucial role in career development. I believe I fulfilled my assigned duties with utmost dedication and to the best of my satisfaction. I retired from service at the age of sixty in 2020.

Marriage is a phase of life that teaches us how to nurture a family. Mutual cooperation, respect, patience, perseverance, tolerance, and adaptability are vital in this journey.

My marital life began thirty-four years ago. In a small family with one child, we experienced both good and bad times, happiness and sorrow at different moments.

I hold a strong belief in God. He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. I understand that there exists a Supreme Being, all-powerful and compassionate, who witnesses every action and guides individuals in all situations He is accessible to seekers. However, each person has to face consequences of all his own actions.

Hobby relieves stress in life and ensures some productivity. I believe each person should have at least one hobby Reading books, writing poems and articles, travel, photography are my hobbies.

A person knows himself much better than any other person. Because one can see a person’s external actions, emotions etc., but can’t see the internal thoughts and feelings Self-introspection is a tool for spiritual uplift.

Now, a retired person at the age of sixty-four, I am pursuing my hobbies in addition to my day-to-day activities in the family. I had left my foot prints in the past, the current steps are being imprinted, and future is welcoming me to have my footfall in it.

My Childhood Photo (Me and My Elder Brother)

Me and My Better half

MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

MADHURI KULKRANI

Life hasn't been very easy for us… We lived in a costly city wherein Pappa worked and took care of the family along with his brother's and sister's sons. At that time his salary was barely 2 figured. We grew up knowing his constraints and never asked for anything except for school stationery and immediate needs. Pappa and Amma though couldn't afford much taught me the art of saving. Pappa took me to the bank where we had our Recurring Deposit Accounts. I learnt cooking, paying bills and shopping and by the age of 10, I was well versed in the day today activities. We always had a constant flow of guests and Amma was proud that she could care for them.

Doing well in studies, I joined a prestigious high school. My passion of writing small poems and snippets started My English teacher encouraged and supported me. My writes adorned the school and college wall magazines as well as annual magazines After completing my degree, I knew Pappa couldn't afford fees for my further studies. I started working as accounts assistant in a private firm and studied alongside for my Masters.

After my wedding we shifted to a place 1000s of kms away from my hometown… The culture, the weather and the people were way different In due course I adapted myself to the new environment. I did my diploma in tailoring and fashion designing. It was a great struggle with my daughter in tow and no transportation… But the struggle was worth it when I scored 92%.

Along with stitching and embroidery work, I used to take tuitions for the neighborhood children Years roller by and we returned back to my hometown. My husband supported me in all my endeavors. Eventually we built a house

I turned into a teacher, gardener and a stationery shop owner. Soon son was born and I had much more to handle.. But my husband was encouraging and with his support I could sail through all ups and downs..

Kids grew up and now on their own. I started a playschool with my sister for the needy kids and ran it for almost 6 years. COVID came by and we had to stop.. My personal journey is fruitful and positive always

But my journey as a poetess never stopped. I wrote for business journals while working I wrote for local groups and trusts. My writes are simple and I always hope they bring a smile on the reader's face.

I brought out my book “Musings of my soul” in 2022 . It highlights the inner feelings of a common person. I have written for numerous anthologies both Indian as well as international.

I would like to sign off saying my personal journey in Poetry Planet carries numerous good memories. Tess being a great friend encourages and support me thank you so much dear friend

SUDHA DIXIT

I came into this world; it was not my choice. My name is given to me by others, I had no share or will in it. In fact, I had no say in most matters of my life. Being lonely I took refuge in books. Books gave me knowledge and wisdom, giving me an edge over other children my age and my siblings. My father was an ambitious person. He wanted me to become a top-most officer. I wanted a career in the academic field. But my father said no to that. During school days I started drawing and sketching. I won prizes in painting competitions. I dreamt of becoming a painter but Dad discouraged me.

THE ROAD, I DIDN’T CHOOSE

Since I was fond of studying, I gave in to my dad’s wishes Dad was indeed ambitious but he belonged to an orthodox family. I was a young girl without a mother; so, my dad was very much concerned about my marriage Those days getting a daughter married was more important than her career.

Once again, I had to forget whatever I wished for and agree to tie the knot. I was never interested in marriage or in men in general. From an early age, I have seen the pathetic condition of women in society Even in religious scriptures, women were often depicted as second-class citizens. I always looked at men skeptically If men claim to be superior, they might as well prove it. I used to look down on less intelligent men. I didn’t hate men but I could not tolerate arrogance in them, particularly those who did not deserve it. During my college and university days, I concentrated on my studies; and always looked at boys as colleagues only Some boys did approach me with romantic intent. I dismissed them summarily. If husbands think they should be treated as superior, they better be, intellectually, physically, financially, and status-wise superior to the lady. I didn’t find college-going boys better than the girl students. I was a feminist Hence there never was any love angle in my life.

The marriage did not bring any change in my attitude

According to my father and all other relatives, an average man who can provide you with bread twice a

day is good enough to be a husband. But that was not my idea of a husband. I was not interested in having a husband

I wanted a career of my own. I wanted to be independent, not under any man for sustenance This was not the road I wished to walk on. But all other roads were closed for me.

Just out of my teens, I was transformed into an adult. I was a dreamer. I used to dream good time, a pleasant atmosphere, a riot of flowers, etc. There was nothing like that in married life. I felt desperate. From a secure and sheltered life, I was left alone on an unknown road, facing the harsh sun or incessant rain without an umbrella. Nobody could understand what I was going through People think everything should be hunky dory between newly wedded couples. In reality, it doesn’t happen. I always prided myself on being ever truthful But I had to hide my stress and pretend to be happy. My path was chosen by those who chose my name, my religion, and my lifestyle I was put in my place when I thought I could do what I wished for. I could not choose my future. I was supposed to walk the road that I never dreamt of. Life is seldom fair. You have to keep walking even when you lose your way. I felt that I had lost my way and I would never reach my destination. But there was no stopping. 17

I accepted the decision made by my destiny. I decided to play my new, though unwanted, role of a housewife to the hilt I had a tendency to put my heart and soul into whatever I did or was supposed to do. So, I collected all my dreams and aspirations, put them in a treasure chest and kept it in my mental attic.

I learned to cook (an art I hated and knew nothing about). I took motherhood seriously (Motherhood was always a sacred notion for me) Even otherwise, the moment you become a mother, your whole perspective changes. From self-promotion my mission changed towards raising my children in the best way possible.

I was living a dual life Like an automaton I was performing all my duties as a home-maker and as a mother. I kept a separate room for me, saying that I needed to read a book, which I actually did. I kept my unfulfilled desires confined to dreams. I wrote poems and hid them in the cupboard

I didn’t realize when time flew away. Children grew up and didn’t need my help with their studies. There creeped in a loss of purpose in the life. I felt a vacuum in my heart. I tried to get a job in the University or even in some degree college. A hiatus of twenty years had turned all my achievements into total disqualification as they were not put to any use I lacked experience and hence I wasn’t fit for academic job. I went into depression. But I was a fighter. I had invested twenty years into something I didn’t like, successfully. I wasn’t going to accept defeat.

I took out my treasure-chest of dreams and desires. I removed the dust from them and tried to infuse new life in them. I revived my passion for painting; wrote poems and articles. Published them and got awards and recognition. A long period of fifty years could not extinguish the fire burning in my core. There were sparks hidden under the ashes. I revived the flame and started all over again. I took a bypass that merged with the path I wanted to take initially. I reached my destination in my sun-set days. I am happy. 18

MY CROSSROADS

Alona Simonsen

I woke up feeling tired. This is the same feeling I have had over and over for the past few months, if not years. This tiredness is not just about the body but also about the mind and heart. I don’t want to drive to work. I am not happy and motivated to be at work anymore. In my mind, I need a change, and it is a big one! Soon!

However, I must consider all my options. There are pros and cons to staying and leaving my current job. Maybe writing them down can help me sort my thoughts about it.

What

are the

positive sides of staying?

The first is financial stability. It is a regular job, and the salary is good, which pays the bill. I can’t deny that at the end of every month, at least, I know I have money to pay all our bills. Secondly, this work is related to my educational degree and what I was trained for. The competition is so high, and the availability is so low. And lastly, the office is only a short drive from home. So, when I need to be at work outside of office hours, driving to and from work is easy and short.

How about the not-so-positive sides of staying?

Well, I am so stressed, to say the least! My stress level is soon reaching its maximum, and it is not good. I have been to the doctor a lot of times for different health reasons. I even underwent different tests, both laboratory-based and diagnostic. All of the results came normal; thank heaven for that! However, most of my “illnesses” are stress-related, according to my doctor All my physical suffering and struggles were due to stress. The sadness and tiredness I am feeling are due to stress My erratic mood, which affects my relationships with everyone I know, is due to stress! Everything boils down to stress!

I am working as an IT professional in my own office with a nice ocean view I work on weekdays from 8:00 in the morning to 3:30 in the afternoon, but there are times I need to work overtime and on weekends too, but it is very seldom

The work in the IT field is not an easy pit, especially when your job is trying to make sure that everything at work is working as it should be. Stress comes to me when I need to do almost everything at once, and I am not good in using the word NO and HELP, which are helpful to minimize stress according to the Stress Management seminar I attended a couple of months ago

So, I am asking myself if staying is worth it. Financially, maybe yes Health-wise, I don’t think so. Isn’t it true that health is wealth?

I want to live longer I want to enjoy the years I have to be healthy and happy. I want to be a happy, bubbly mom, not a grumpy, sad, weak, and stressed mom, as I am feeling right now, for the remaining years of my life.

In addition, I want to try new things and learn something new. Unfortunately, I don’t have the financial freedom to do so. Aside from the monthly bills to pay, I also support my family back in the Philippines. It makes me happy knowing I can help them, although it is extra on my budget.

Almost every week, I am browsing the internet for possible job opportunities. As per today, most published job vacancies in the area are for nurses, caregivers, accountants, cooks, waiters, shop employees, carpenters, teachers, and truck drivers. All of those are not for me. I am neither an accountant nor a nurse. I don’t have a license or the patience to teach. I don’t have a license to drive a truck, and I am a nervous driver! I have tried working in a coffee shop and gas station store before; I can do that again, but my salary will not help me with all my financial obligations.

If only I had the financial freedom, maybe I would write full-time. At least, that is what lingers in my mind. I am hoping that one day I can publish my own novel.

I found out that writing helps me relax. Right now, writing poems, essays, and short stories is a big help for me After using my “me time” for writing, my mood had improved a lot, and the headache is a rare occurrence now. I would also like to read more books In between reading and writing, I would love to try designing and making my own dresses, or maybe traveling around the world is not a bad idea either

Maybe I could start my own business. Why not? I have been toying with this idea for a while now Maybe the bank could help me. Isn’t it common for people who want to start a business to ask the bank for a loan? Am I brave enough to take out a loan? Am I really a risk-taker?

But what kind of business should I start? I must think about it deeply and clearly first, then read more about the ins and outs of loaning business capital before I can approach the bank

So, what should I do? Should I stay or not? Should I continue with this path I am on now, or should I go another way? Should I take the risk, quit my job without any plan or financial backup, and let destiny help me on my way? Should I wait another year or two before I decide what to do?

My head is spinning right now, just thinking about all the possibilities I don’t want to wait that long until I am too old to do the things I love to do. I am, in fact, nearing my golden years. I could almost hear the clock ticking: tik-tak-tik-tak And every tik and tak of the clock is telling me that I am not getting any younger, and whatever it is I need to do, I must do it now

Sooner or later, for my peace of mind, I must decide what I need to do or where I will go I can’t stay in the middle of this crossroads. I must move on because, as they say, life will always move on, and so will I

RESHAPE REALITY

ANJANA PRASAD

Life takes a turn if you have a positive attitude and a burning desire to do something. That makes a difference in life.

My life took a turn after marriage. A university topper who had a dream to become independent and prove her worth in society, settled as a so-called homemaker. My own dreams were in shambles, lost somewhere in the corner of my daughter's doll house. They couldn't race with the Hot wheels car, my son played.

I didn't realize how easily I settled and compromised my own desires and dreams. I became a good girl, good mother, and a good wife. Solely running errands and fitting in the requirements, and needs of every member of the family.

My happiness was measured with my husband's handsome salary and children excelling academically "Pretty good hmm!" Day or night, my 365 days revolved around family trying to make everything look picture perfect, except my life.

In the hustle bustle I ceased to exist My day began with preparing breakfast and lunchboxes for my spouse and our children Losing bit by bit. I was killing my consciousness every day, every minute. No one realized what I went through living yet dying.

Trying to discover myself, trying to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10. But the pointer mercilessly landed on zero no matter how much I tried to adjust it to 10. Undervalued in my own evaluation, struggling to find my identity with the rising sun

My consciousness was yelling, whilst I was disintegrating, day by day Unable to discover my life's purpose. Losing my true self was hurting me to the core My being was provoking me, to endure the challenge and thrive beyond it.

I had to be courageous no matter what and transform. Nothing to lose on this journey said inner self I gave it some thought, If Love is Growth I need to grow and evolve.

I recollected all my strength, this time giving some importance to myself I searched for vacancies in several newspapers. I applied as a teacher in several schools My B Ed degree failed to rescue me. I was rejected because of my inexperience. But I was adamant to take a plunge and do something Nothing in the world could change my decision.

I took out my son's notebook and started scribbling my thoughts. Joined several writing forums Sent my poems and articles in newspapers. They were selected and published online. My morale was boosted I took writing as my career. Writing proved to be the most satisfying job. Laptop and me a perfect pair, my 'Me Time '

A disheartened person like me embraced journalism It gives me immense joy. No one on this earth can break our bonding till I'm alive.

My journey may not seem like a big achievement to many. But I'm a happy person I have managed to break the barrier of my mind. I don't earn, but I'm satisfied and content. My thoughts carry me away from the mundane lifestyle, giving me the opportunity to travel to the world of fantasy. I have control of my mind. I have found peace with myself.

The path I sojourn gives me strength. To some extent I have unleashed the power within me. If no one steps in to support you, family or friend, make it happen, do it alone, start today, start afresh. Stitch your wings, Don them and fly. Sky awaits to embrace you in its vast expanse of possibilities, ever ready to accompany you on your solo journey to evolve and grow.

MY JOURNEY

Vijaylaxmi Sarmah

From being a shy college girl ,penning thoughts in diaries, and spending hours reading story books alone in my room, today a mother of two boys and standing vociferously for my children my loved ones and dealing with various business people, and finding joy in my pen, it is a wonderful journey of discovering, learning, failing winning .

There were rough patches of physical pain, as I was a sick child. I had gone more to the physicist than to my school during my primary days.

But that was the time I also discovered a wonderful world in my story books.

Bed and my books were my best companions during my childhood days.

During my teens l put on weight. The time when young girls blossomed with spring of youth, I struggled with my weight

I was given nicknames for being Fat. I thought I was the most ugly person in the world I hated seeing myself in the mirror.

Again there were my books as my company I was however a good student and my teachers loved me .

One thing I learned in those days that after your parents and family, teachers loved you the most.

Later on when I started teaching in school, I found that joy myself. Nothing like seeing the happiness and success and innocence in your students.

I discovered another different world when I joined college. I studied in an All Girls college in my city and studied English literature

I travelled long distance in jam packed city buses ,attended classes and went to tuitions in the evening .

But in those public buses I also learnt there were men and there were peverts and learnt to defend myself well in this world.

However my health once more deteriorated and I had to undergo a surgery.

I lost weight and my hair fell drastically.

However literature saved me once more

The college library fascinated me and I found new books and new writers

I also started teaching in schools, to contribute the financial kitty of the family

Post marriage and motherhood I discovered the joys, pains, responsibilities of wife and mother.

There were new responsibilities and duties I had to take care and perform.

I taught in schools and devoted my time to my school and family.

Today boys are grown up and left to different cities for jobs leaving me an empty nest.

However thanks to social media I have found different platforms to write and share my thoughts

I would be always grateful to Poetry Planet, which is the very first Poetry group I joined and got encouraged to write.

I am so grateful to The founder of the group Tess Ritumalta .

Though I am a member of many other groups after Poetry Planet,I feel at home in this group.

Thank you would be less to express my sincere gratitude to Poetry Planet and Tess Ritumalta.

Thank you

THE JOURNEY OF MY LITTLE HEART

Navigating The Journey Within My Personal Journey From Childhood Wonder To Self discovery

Harppreet M. Caur

From the earliest memories of my childhood, I've been on a quest to understand the mysteries of life and my place in the universe. Like a tiny explorer in a vast cosmos, I've sought answers to questions that have haunted me since my earliest days.

I remember one particular moment vividly. At just two or three years old, I sat beside my mother in the dim glow of the night sky, surrounded by the comforting embrace of our home. As we smoothed out the folds of a bedsheet together, I turned to her with a question that seemed to come from a place beyond my years. "Do you know from where I came?" I asked, my innocent curiosity tinged with a hint of something deeper.

My mother, ever patient, explained in simple terms that I was born in a hospital and brought home to her. But my young mind couldn't accept such a mundane explanation. No, I insisted, I came from far beyond the confines of this world, from the stars themselves. As I pointed to the heavens above, I felt a connection to something vast and infinite, something that transcended the boundaries of time and space. That moment, frozen in the amber of memory, has stayed with me throughout my life. It planted a seed of curiosity that would grow and flourish as I embarked on my personal journey of self-discovery.

As I grew older, I began to realize that my quest for understanding wasn't just about unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos; it was also about unraveling the mysteries of myself.

I discovered that I was not just a physical being confined to this earthly realm, but a spiritual being with a soul that yearned to explore the depths of its own existence.

Like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, I underwent a metamorphosis of the soul. I shed the constraints of societal expectations and embraced the vibrant colors of my true self. I learned to listen to the whispers of my heart and follow the path that resonated with my deepest desires.

Along the way, I encountered challenges and obstacles that threatened to derail my journey. But with each setback, I found strength and resilience within myself to keep moving forward. I learned the power of perseverance and the importance of staying true to my convictions, even in the face of adversity.

As I journeyed through the landscape of womanhood, donning the roles of mother, daughter, and single parent, I discovered the strength that lies within vulnerability, the resilience that emerges from adversity. Each phase of my life sculpted a different facet of my being, molding me into a woman of substance a woman who embraces her multilayered self with grace and gratitude.

Today, as I look back on the winding road that has brought me to this moment, I see how each twist and turn has shaped me into the person I am today. I am no longer just a tiny girl with pigtails and ponytails; I am a woman who has embraced her inner child while embracing the wisdom of her years.

My journey is far from over, for life is a continual evolution of self-discovery and growth. But as I write the next chapter of my story, I do so with a sense of gratitude for the journey that has brought me here. I am a seeker, a dreamer, and a believer in the power of love and light to illuminate even the darkest of paths.

And so, I continue to chase the butterflies of my soul, following their fragrance to the farthest reaches of the universe. For in the end, the greatest adventure of all is the journey to the center of oneself, where the line between the world and the universe blurs, and the true essence of who we are is revealed. As I write the story of my life, I do so with a heart full of love, gratitude, and wonder for the miraculous journey that has brought me to this moment.

Through the highs and lows, the laughter and tears, I emerged not unscathed but stronger, not untouched but transformed. For in the crucible of life's trials, I discovered the alchemy of resilience the power to transmute pain into purpose, adversity into opportunity

Today, as I gaze into the mirror of my reflection, I see not just a woman who has weathered storms but a soul adorned with resilience, compassion, and courage And in the depths of my being, I hear the whispers of my inner child a reminder of the innocence, wonder, and curiosity that still reside within me

As I gaze into the mirror of reflection, I see not just the physical form that stares back at me, but the essence of my being the spirit that dances with youthful exuberance, the soul that radiates with the warmth of love and compassion In every line etched upon my face, I see a story a story of resilience, of growth, of triumph over adversity

My journey, like the river that flows ceaselessly towards the sea, continues to unfold with each passing day And as I navigate the twists and turns of life's path, I do so with a heart full of gratitude for the lessons learned, the challenges overcome, and the moments of pure joy that light up the darkest of nights

For in the end, it is not the destination that defines us, but the journey the winding road that leads us ever closer to the truth of who we are And in embracing that truth, we find the courage to write our own story to take charge of our lives with passion and purpose, and to embrace the beauty of our own metamorphosis

PLYING ON THE PREDESTINED PATHS

Dr Ritu kamra Kumar

Thirty seven years of journey of being with the students in the classroom culminates into superannuation on April 30,2024 Going down the memory lane I recall year 1987 when I entered the portals of Mukand Lal National College Yamunanagar as a tentative youth, a fresh pass- out of MPhil from Kurukshetra University Kurukshetra Little did I know that this place will be my second home for next 37 years I appeared for the interview along with my classmates of MPhil and we relished lunch of Rajma Chawal at my sister Anu's place We went back to Kurukshetra on the same day and the very next day,I appeared in an interview for the post of lecturer in Indira Gandhi National College, Kaithal where the then Principal of Mukand Lal National College, a reputed literary legend Dr K L Johar,was present as a subject expert He asked me “Aren't you interested in MLN College Yamunanagar? If so we can give you a chance here” Not fully sure how to respond I called my parents( A trunk call) and they suggested I opt for Yamunanagar Hence I joined the Institution in 1987 and my journey onwards as a teacher has been infused with various and veritable experiences.

The first lesson that Dr Johar gave me before I started classes was to inculcate discipline among students emphasizing the fact that once it would be easy to teach disciplined and determined students. Second thing he told me was to not use gaudy vocabulary to impress students but the diction should be easily comprehensible. Third thing he told was to be patient and compassionate with students. His advice got imprinted in my mind. Though I was very young when I started teaching classes consisting of around 90 youngsters in each class who always effortlessly indulged in pranks yet Dr Johar's advice and Dr Ramesh kumar's support made me maintain calm and poise and I sailed smoothly in initial years.

Being given junior classes, I often felt frustrated translating Wordsworth's Daffodils in plain Hindi as students understood it better in their mother tongue. I endeavored hard to find similar imagery in Indian sensibility to make them understand how Daffodils resemble our Indian Nargis.

I used to take cuttings of pictures from books and show them. Stephen Leacock's My Lost Dollar,a humorous tale of author's many attempts to get back his dollar from his friend evoked much laughter among students and gradually I and the students in the class were reciting poems, enacting plays and telling tales I was able to create a space for myself in the classroom and started enjoying teaching them. Under graduate students, naive and inquisitive they interpreted English literature with Indian situations using their dialect and it was enlightening for me also

Then in the year 1998 I started teaching Post Graduate students! How elevated I felt as I became an associate professor too at the same time.

Now with mature students of post-graduate classes, my understanding of English literature grew stronger and better. Then PHD in feminism on Shashi Deshpande's novel happened and that transformed me completely as a teacher and human being. I started writing about women issues through Middles My first Middle, a dedication to my teachers got published in Hindustan Times on Teachers' Day in 2015 and since then I have been writing Prose pieces, short stories, Middles and poems.

In this journey my parents, my husband Shri S.C kumar ,my son Avinav and daughter in law Nancy have been my pillars of support. Their inputs on my write ups have done wonders.

Life goes on.

Farewells are tough but every ending has a new beginning and makes me sing ”Evening falls into night which beckons for a beautiful morning” Superannuation or a new journey, I have always been happily busy and intend to remain so !

A SELF-EDUCATED WRITER'S JOURNEY

At the onset, I want to make it clear that I am not an Ivy League-educated writer In fact, when I decided to take my writing talent seriously, I enrolled in a writing school, only to find that it didn't suit me. I ultimately left without fulfilling the program's requirements However, this has never hindered my passion for the written word. I've always been a bookish person, and my journey as a writer has been fueled by books. One of the most significant discoveries on my self-education journey was the power of reading.

From a young age, I held aspirations of becoming a star in the literary world My mind was filled with unthinkable thoughts that I would like to editorialize I dreamt of creating stories that would captivate readers and leave a lasting impact. But as life unfolded, my path took me on a different trajectory. And for many years I found myself working at a trade I had no passion for However,I found solace in the written word, seeking refuge within the pages of books and immersing myself in the worlds crafted by talented authors. You wouldn't catch me without a book in my pocket I really liked to read like there was no tomorrow.

At the time I realized that my education would not come from formal institutions, but rather from the vast expanse of literature available to me. Through diligent reading and countless hours of practice, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and growth I learned to write by connecting with the words of others and allowing my own thoughts and imaginings to flow onto the page Through literature, I gained insight into different writing styles, storytelling techniques, and the nuances of language. I studied the works of literary giants, soaking up their skills and craftsmanship Inspired by their brilliance, I delved into the genres that resonated with me most, constantly expanding my knowledge and honing my own unique voice.

Writing became a form of self-expression, a means to bring my thoughts, feelings, and perspectives to life. I poured my heart onto the page, allowing my experiences and emotions to shape the narratives I weaved. Through trial and error, I discovered the magic of storytelling and the impact words can have on the hearts and minds of readers. Of course, the path of a self-educated writer is not without its challenges.

There were times of self-doubt, questioning whether my words were worthy of recognition But in those moments, I leaned on the support of fellow writers and sought refuge in the encouraging voices of literary communities. Their feedback and camaraderie reminded me that talent knows no boundaries and that the beauty of writing lies in its ability to transcend educational backgrounds.

One of the most profound lessons I learned on my selfeducation journey was that writing is not solely about awards or accolades It is about connecting with readers, touching their hearts, and inspiring them through the power of storytelling. The true measure of success as a writer lies in the impact we make, the emotions we evoke, and the conversations we ignite.

Through my self-education, I have come to appreciate the value of authenticity. I write from my own experiences, drawing inspiration from the world around me and the stories that reside within my heart This genuine approach has allowed me to find my voice, a voice that reflects my unique perspective and resonates with those who share similar experiences

While an Ivy League education may provide one with a solid foundation, it does not guarantee a superior writer Writing is an art rooted in individuality, and it is within our own life experiences that we find the richness and depth to create meaningful narratives Whether self-educated or formally trained, every writer has a unique contribution to make to the literary world.

In a world that often celebrates pedigree and credentials, it can be challenging to embrace a different path. However, the beauty of being a self-educated writer is that I have the freedom to explore unconventional ideas, experiment with various styles, and push the boundaries of storytelling. Without the constraints of traditional structures, I am able to bring a fresh and authentic perspective to my work.

As I continue on this self-education journey, I constantly seek to refine my craft. I devour books on writing, attend workshops and conferences, and engage in conversations with fellow writers Every opportunity to learn and grow is a chance to expand my creativity and shape my literary voice.

Even though I've been to the university, I was there as a selfeducated writer. In the end, it is not the certificates on my wall that define my success, but the stories that touch hearts, the voices that resonate, and the connections forged through my words. I am a self-educated writer, and I am proud to make my mark in the literary universe, one heartfelt story at a time