THE JOSHUA WEINZWEIG REVIEW OF WRITING 2020-2021
FILM ____________________________________________________________ by Ella MacAlpine, Grade 10 Alone. I stand alone in a room, a projector rolling film before me. It’s so cold in this room. All I hear is the projector mumbling as the film plays, a quiet ringing noise humming along. Where am I? What am I doing here? Who am I? Why do I feel such fear? I’m tired. I remember sleeping well, but that hasn’t prevented lethargy from swallowing me whole. My heart feels slow, no, it’s not beating at all. Everything is quiet. I am paralyzed, and I can’t break free. Where am I? What am I doing here? There’s nothing I can do. “Nobody would notice if you were to disappear.” ... What am I to say..? Everything falls into silence; A song I know well, yet it suffocates me so, wrapping and winding around my neck like thorned vines that just won’t go. It’s so cold in this room. Maybe it would be warmer if I were gone. The ringing continues. The film rolls on. A Note from the Author… My poem was written in response to Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. In Wild Geese, Oliver touches on the beauty of the world and letting your mind run free. My poem was written about detaching from reality when you let the small details of your thoughts consume you. It also talks about depression and feelings of hopelessness that some people encounter. These feelings can overwhelm you, causing you to disassociate and spiral into depression. It is a vicious cycle than can feel impossible to get out of. The feelings one experiences when this occurs is what I try to capture in the poem.
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