Granny’s Guide By Yvette O’Dowd
T
Crying Babies
he sound of a baby crying gets our attention; it is nearly impossible to ignore.
Research suggests men and women respond differently to the sound of a crying baby. In women, the sound triggers feelings of sympathy and caregiving; in men, the responses include irritation and anger.
The sound of your own baby crying goes much deeper – it reaches inside you and sets off all sorts of internal responses. Infant crying needs to trigger an urgent response from mothers. In the context of a modern Western family, it is hard to imagine the risks that a crying infant exposed her tribe to in our hunter-gatherer past or even in more recent human history. A crying baby would attract lots of unwanted interest – from predators, enemies and others seeking a vulnerable point of attack. For the protection of the whole community, the crying would need to be stopped quickly and effectively. Your primal responses to do this still kick in, even in the secure environment of your suburban home in broad daylight. So – what causes babies to cry and how can we learn to interpret these broad requests for help into the unique messages behind them?
Some Crying Babies Are Hungry
Babies are designed to efficiently process breastmilk. Even when your baby is formula-fed, he will still digest his feeds quickly and seek more fuel as soon as possible. The most likely reason for a baby to cry is hunger. A breastfed baby cannot be over-fed – you can offer the breast as often as he seeks it, and more milk will always be available. Cuebased feeding allows your baby and breasts to work together to sync supply and demand. A formula-fed baby needs his daily intake of milk regulated by an adult. However, you can be flexible in how often you offer feeds and the volume he takes at each. Bottle nursing is a technique which uses cue-based formula/expressed breast milk.
Some Crying Babies Are Overwhelmed
Too much stimulation can lead to inconsolable crying in babies of all ages. Over-handling by visitors, sudden or ongoing loud noise, and another sensory overload can leave a baby distressed. Generally, falling asleep will help them but getting them relaxed enough to do so can take some effort. Dim lighting, white noise, and gentle movement can all help and overstimulated baby settle. A breastfed baby may seek the breast for reassurance while a bottle-fed baby might need feeding sooner than usual. 92 Peninsula Kids – Spring 2020
Some Crying Babies Are Bored
In her book The Discontented Little Baby, Dr Pamela Douglas suggests babies have a hunger for stimulation, like their hunger for food. While over-stimulation can lead to tears, boredom can also cause distress in babies whose rapidly developing brains need a variety of sensory experiences throughout their day. Rather than sleeping babies in separate rooms from the mother, Douglas recommends keeping the baby close to the mother while they sleep, as well as while awake. Babywearing is a great way to keep the baby where the action is and allow a range of sights, sounds, smells, movement and touch as the adult goes about her tasks. These subtle stimulatory opportunities are unlikely to lead to the distress of over-stimulation, as the mother can see early feedback from the baby and adjust activity as needed.
Some Crying Babies Need Comfort
A rapidly changing body, growing in the first months of life at a rate never experienced again, can be an uncomfortable thing. New systems, fresh from the womb where they did little to no work, suddenly must kick into gear moments after birth. A digestive system needs to begin working, lungs need to begin the process that will not stop until the day of their last breath. Brains which will not be fully developed for 25 years need to start wiring up a network of cells that will eventually study at university, fly an aeroplane, create music or recall a lifetime of memories. It is not surprising then, that babies might experience “growing pains” along the way. The concept of Wonder Weeks helps parents understand the stages of key development which challenge babies and lead to The 3 C’s: Clinginess, Crankiness and Crying. What these babies need is reassurance and parental presence, to comfort them through these demanding periods.
Some Crying Babies Need Sleep
Just because they need to sleep does not always mean they can fall asleep. An over-tired baby is miserable because he has gone beyond the point where sleep occurs easily. Your role here is to support him with soothing strategies until he relaxes enough to fall asleep. Rocking, white noise, wearing him in a sling or carrier or putting him back to the breast are all tools which can induce sleep. Sometimes though, the only thing you can offer is your presence, as you hold him close and let his crying work towards the point of exhaustion. continued next page...