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BENEFITS OF ASKING FOR HELP BY: JANELLE RYAN
DO you feel ready to take on the new year? The reason I’m asking is because I noticed a common theme among my clients and friends last December. The theme was that they were all exhausted. Many of them told me they were feeling burnt out, depleted of energy and some of them were actually ill. They were ready to hit the beach, the snow or just their BED (yes, someone actually told me she just wanted to sleep) and relax for a couple of weeks.
What if you started 2017 differently? What if you lightened your load a little and.......heaven forbid......asked for help? Yep, that’s what I said. ASK. FOR. HELP. At home. In your business. At work. Raise your hand if the thought of asking for help strikes a bit of fear in your heart? You are not alone. Many of us find it difficult to ask for help, but often staying silent is detrimental to our personal and professional lives. Taking on too much or battling against challenges alone can affect our emotional and physical health, our relationships and even our finances. So why are we hesitant to ask for help? The reasons vary from one person to the next, but here are some of the most common reasons we prefer to struggle alone rather than request assistance.
1.Not Wanting To Seem Weak Or “Needy” Many of us are frightened to make ourselves vulnerable in front of 54
Peninsula Kids – Autumn 2017
others, especially if our workplace, mother’s group or family and friends are highly competitive. We worry that we will get hurt or the information will be used against us by others. Some of us find it safer to project a strong image of self sufficiency and independence (even if we are barely coping behind closed doors).
2. Wanting To Stay In Control Sometimes when we ask for help we receive more than we asked for and more than we need. We lose complete control over our project or situation. To avoid this, be mindful of who it is you request help from and make your request clear and concise.
3. Fear Of The “Cost” What’s the price? What is this going to cost you? What will this person expect in return? Relationships usually thrive when both individuals feel the partnership or friendship is an equal one. When asking for a favour consider offering one in return. Be wary of people who are willing to offer help but refuse to accept it AND those who are very happy to take from you without ever giving back.
4. Perfectionism Yes, good old “I can do it the best way”. If you love things done your way, then go right ahead. There is nothing wrong with this when you are immersed in normal, everyday tasks but if you start to feel out of control it may be time to admit you are human and ask for help.