Ridge Report for March 2013

Page 1

Report

The Ridge

March 2013

Your Role in ‘Project Parent’ I just returned from the annual meeting of the

level of supervision. If you are driving with your

National Association of Independent Schools,

8-year-old when she sees a friend, she might say,

which each year gathers together some of the best

“Dad, there’s Hanna. Honk the horn so she sees

thinkers and doers in education today. Leaving the

us!” Five years later, that exact scenario plays out

conference without at least 10 good ideas means

in a completely different way. If a dad is driving

you really weren’t paying attention. As with many

with his daughter, and she spots Hanna, before he

gatherings of educators, there is a lot of talking. I

can think of hitting the horn, his now 13-year-old

always enjoy the opportunity this time allows for

shouts, “DAAAAAAD ... Please don’t honk!” as

colleagues, some of whom may have worked

she throws herself under the dashboard.

alongside each other in the past, to connect. Many of them always seem to have a nugget of wisdom

The developmental challenge for the middle

they will casually pass along.

school and high school parent is complicated. Your daughter has to “fire” you for her own good,

A friend of mine shared this story with me,

as a necessary first step towards independence.

something he heard a psychologist recently offer

Once this happens, there are just two things you

as advice for parents: Parents go through stages of

need to do: First, you have to grieve, because a

development, just like their kids do; and school

wonderful stage of life is now over. Second, like

administrators have to understand where parents

any project manager, once you’ve been fired, you

are in their own development, because this often

have to figure out a way to get rehired as a

affects their students in important ways.

consultant.

In the early years, parents are project managers;

My best to you and your family as we begin our

they organize their kids, check their backpacks

remaining months together this academic year.

and planners and make sure they take their lunches with them to school. Primary school students are almost always comfortable with this

Cheers!

Mark Pierotti Head of School


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