Report
The Ridge
March 2013
Your Role in ‘Project Parent’ I just returned from the annual meeting of the
level of supervision. If you are driving with your
National Association of Independent Schools,
8-year-old when she sees a friend, she might say,
which each year gathers together some of the best
“Dad, there’s Hanna. Honk the horn so she sees
thinkers and doers in education today. Leaving the
us!” Five years later, that exact scenario plays out
conference without at least 10 good ideas means
in a completely different way. If a dad is driving
you really weren’t paying attention. As with many
with his daughter, and she spots Hanna, before he
gatherings of educators, there is a lot of talking. I
can think of hitting the horn, his now 13-year-old
always enjoy the opportunity this time allows for
shouts, “DAAAAAAD ... Please don’t honk!” as
colleagues, some of whom may have worked
she throws herself under the dashboard.
alongside each other in the past, to connect. Many of them always seem to have a nugget of wisdom
The developmental challenge for the middle
they will casually pass along.
school and high school parent is complicated. Your daughter has to “fire” you for her own good,
A friend of mine shared this story with me,
as a necessary first step towards independence.
something he heard a psychologist recently offer
Once this happens, there are just two things you
as advice for parents: Parents go through stages of
need to do: First, you have to grieve, because a
development, just like their kids do; and school
wonderful stage of life is now over. Second, like
administrators have to understand where parents
any project manager, once you’ve been fired, you
are in their own development, because this often
have to figure out a way to get rehired as a
affects their students in important ways.
consultant.
In the early years, parents are project managers;
My best to you and your family as we begin our
they organize their kids, check their backpacks
remaining months together this academic year.
and planners and make sure they take their lunches with them to school. Primary school students are almost always comfortable with this
Cheers!
Mark Pierotti Head of School