ParentsCanada Annual Guide for New Parents - 2021

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TEAR-OUT BIRTH PLAN CHECKLIST

DO BABIES DREAM? 10 OTHER QUESTIONS ANSWERED

FIVE QUESTIONS TO ASK DAYCARE PROVIDERS

WHY WORK-LIFE BALANCE NEEDS A REBRAND

THINGS ALL NEW PARENTS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SLEEP

WHAT PREGNANT MOMS

TO EXPECT WHEN EXPECTING

TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE BABY NEWS: THE CASE FOR SPILLING THE BEANS EARLY

ANNUAL GUIDE FOR NEW PARENTS 202 1 PA RE N TSCA NA DA .CO M


JOY OF PARENTING

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table of contents HELLO BUMP

06/ 10 weird things

to expect during pregnancy

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WELCOME

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18/ What no one tells you

09/ 3 reasons why it’s

OK to share your pregnancy news early

12/ What pregnant moms google the most

about recovering from childbirth

22/ What a sleep coach wants you to know

23/ Do babies dream?

16/ Celebrity-inspired

And 10 other baby questions answered

baby names

17/ Birth plan checklist

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26/ Work-life balance? Forget about it

28/ 5 questions you might not think to ask a daycare provider

30/ Relax, you’ve got this!

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Celebrating Kindness, Celebrating You! We’ve all endured a lot this past year and these have been scary times. But let’s shed some light on the silver linings. It’s time to come together and celebrate the kindness we’ve encountered over the last year. It’s time to celebrate YOU!

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HERE TO HELP WITH EXPERT ADVICE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Katie Dupuis ART DIRECTOR Michelle Neumeyer PROOFREADER Jen Batler DIRECTOR OF SALES Lori Dickson

welcome. I was an anxious new mom the first time around, from the moment of the positive test through to delivery. I fretted over everything. Information was (and to some degree, still is) my way of coping with the unknowns. And then Sophie, now 9, was here, and in many ways, I felt like I’d missed the magic of the pregnancy with my worry. Two years later, when that second line appeared again, I vowed to do it differently. To worry less and enjoy more. To marvel at the amazing thing my body was doing. When Juliette, now 6, arrived, I felt like I’d savoured every moment. The aim of this book is to give you a little of column A and a little of column B. To give you the facts you might need to ease your worries but also to remind you of this incredible time in your life (with a little humour thrown in!). You are a wonder and your little one is so lucky.

Congratulations.

NATIONAL ACCOUNT Angela Breese MANAGERS Lianne Warne CONTROLLER Lisa Mackay DIGITAL MANAGER Anne Radcliffe CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Alanna McGinn Vanessa Milne Erin Pepler Kailee Somers Sarah Winters OWNER/PUBLISHER Jane Bradley WWW.PARENTSCANADA.COM

Copyright © 2021 Jane Media Inc. The ParentsCanada Annual is a registered trademark of Jane Media Inc. All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication, reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system without the prior written consent of the publisher—or in the case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, license from the Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency—is an infringement of the copyright law. Printed and bound in Canada by Dollco Printing Inc. Published in Canada by Jane Media Inc. 2010 Winston Park Drive, Suite 200 Oakville, ON, L6H 5R7 Telephone: 905-334-6417 This project has been made possible in part by the Government of Canada.

Katie Dupuis Editor-in-Chief ANNUAL 2021

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10 weird things TO EXPECT DURING PREGNANCY You probably know about morning sickness and swollen ankles—these are your garden-variety pregnancy ailments—but there are other symptoms no one seems to talk about, from carpal tunnel to nasal congestion. With that in mind, we’re breaking the taboo and rounding up some of the lesser-known pregnancy symptoms to help new mamas know they aren’t alone.

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DRY, ITCHY SKIN is very common, especially around the abdomen and breasts (it’s not used to being stretched!). But you can help keep itch at bay with the following tips: • Avoid taking hot showers. • Regularly soothe skin with pregnancysafe moisturizers or oils (especially after bathing or showering!). • Wear loose, cotton clothing on warm days so skin can breathe.

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CARPEL TUNNEL SYNDROME (CTS) can occur throughout pregnancy. Symptoms include swelling, numbness or a dull ache in the fingers, hands or wrists, and it may extend to your arm or shoulders. For some moms, the symptoms of CTS disappear after delivery; for others, it may require further medical attention postpartum. Consider the following to ease CTS flare-ups: • Wear a wrist or hand brace if your job involves repetitive movements. • Try to sleep with your wrist straight, using a pillow for support. • Using your thumbs, massage from the inside of the wrist outwards and down.

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SWELLING OR BLEEDING GUMS may occur due to increased pregnancy hormones. Here’s how to help: • Brush and floss regularly. • Visit your dentist early during pregnancy for a checkup.

four

SHORTNESS OF BREATH might occur as your uterus grows and pressure on

your upper body increases. Try these tricks for catching your breath in a more purposeful way: • Sleep with your head elevated. • Stand up and raise your arms over your head. By lifting your ribcage, you’ll be able to breathe in more air. Try to keep your shoulders back so your chest area can open, allowing more breathing space.

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A STUFFY NOSE is not uncommon. The increased hormones dry out the lining of your nose, making it inflamed and swollen. You can get relief with the following tips: • Drink at least six to eight glasses of water a day to thin out mucous. • Avoid use of commercial nose sprays. • Use a humidifier or vaporizer to add moisture to the air.

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HEARTBURN can seem non-stop when you are expecting. Try these prevention ideas before heading to the pharmacy: • Avoid fried or spicy foods. • Eat small meals throughout the day, instead of larger, less frequent meals. • When resting, prop up your head and shoulders to prevent stomach acids from rising.

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LEAKING COLOSTRUM (a thick, yellowish fluid containing valuable antibodies for your babe) from the nipples is normal and can happen as early as the second trimester. Noticing unexpected wetness? • Wear nursing pads in your bra to protect your clothing from leaks. ANNUAL 2021

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GENDER REVEAL

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BRAXTON HICKS contractions are commonly referred to “false labour.” They typically begin occurring in the middle of your pregnancy, and are caused by the muscles in your uterus contracting. They should not be especially painful. Learn to address the discomfort by trying the following: • Relax and practise your abdominal breathing. • Change activities or positions and rest.

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DIZZINESS is common during pregnancy—especially during the first trimester. You may be able to prevent or handle these episodes with these ideas: • Eat regular meals throughout the day to keep your blood sugar stable. • Keep your cool! Try not to become overheated. • Lie on your left side when resting to improve circulation. • Sit down if you feel lightheaded and take deep, controlled breaths.

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LEG CRAMPS are caused by the increased pressure of your growing uterus and typically occur during the second trimester. Here’s how to help: • Avoid crossing your legs for extended periods of time. • If you have a cramp, stretch the leg gently by straightening it; then flex your foot and pull your toes toward you. Massage the cramp, or apply heat. • Avoid lying on your back.

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ETIQUETTE Gender reveal parties seem to be a polarizing subject. While they started out as a fun way to share the assigned sex of a new baby, a handful of (terrible) incidents at gender reveal parties have given them a bad rap. If you love the idea, go for it, but be sure to consider these tips for keeping the reveal safe and fun for everyone. Keep the reveal itself simple and safe (cutting into a cake, solving a riddle). Do not use fire, fireworks, explosions or weapons to reveal the gender. Confetti and balloons released outdoors can wreak havoc on the environment. Look for biodegradeable options if you decide to go this route. If you’re also planning to have a baby shower, you might want to make it clear that you don’t expect gifts at the gender reveal, to ease the obligation.


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So, if you’re on the fence about whether or not to spill, consider these pros for sharing your pregnancy announcement before 12 weeks.

3 REASONS WHY IT’S OK TO SHARE

YOUR PREGNANCY NEWS EARLY There’s an unofficial rule that you should wait three months before spilling the beans, but more women are sharing sooner. By SARAH WINTERS

Anna Barry* couldn’t wait to tell everyone that she was expecting her first baby in 2011. So she didn’t. At eight weeks, she sat her family down and showed them an app on her phone that detailed each stage of pregnancy. “See, the baby is the size of a raspberry,” she said as her loved ones aww-ed excitedly. When to share their good news is a question that weighs on many parents. For years we’ve have been told to get through the first trimester before announcing a pregnancy. (From a textbook point of view, the first 12 weeks of pregnancy carry the most risk of miscarriage.) But for some families, this secrecy just doesn’t feel right.

1 FOR THE SUPPORT NETWORK “The people I told were the ones who always support me, in good times or bad, so if anything happened, they’re who I would want to have around anyway,” says Barry. Many women want the support of others, no matter what happens. The first three months of pregnancy also tend to be the hardest for morning sickness with increased fatigue, vomiting and nausea. It’s nice to have a few important people in the know to help you. 2 TO ENSURE SAFE AND UNDERSTANDING WORKING CONDITIONS Letting your supervisor know that you’re expecting is a good idea. It’s especially important if your job includes tasks that you worry could affect the pregnancy. Also, if morning sickness hits hard, your employer will be sympathetic to missed meetings or reduced hours. 3 TO HELP REDUCE MISCARRIAGE TABOO So often miscarriage comes with a stigma of shame, plus part of the waitto-tell rule is that you avoid the pain of having to break sad news to anyone who knew. Remember that you don’t have to do the telling, should something happen. You can ask your partner or a friend or family member to tell others so that you don’t have to answer questions or fill in details unless you want to. *name changed to protect privacy.

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what pregnant moms google the most Pregnancy is an exciting and wonderful time for many women, but it’s also a time filled with questions and unknowns that can bring on anxiety. (Even if this isn’t your first rodeo, every pregnancy is different!) With that in mind, we’ve rounded up 10 of the questions expectant moms google most, from the serious to the embarassing (and even the sexy!). by ERIN PEPLER We recently asked moms to share any and all questions they googled during pregnancies so we could provide solid answers and ease (at least some of) the worry that inevitably comes from growing another human. But if we missed something and you head back to Google, just be sure to visit reputable sources only and carefully vet any medical information. There’s no need to end up in a search engine black hole!

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“Is it safe to eat this?” There are a few well-known things to avoid during pregnancy—alcohol, for example—but it can be hard to know which foods present potential risk. Here’s a quick list of foods to skip while pregnant: • Raw fish (sushi) or raw egg • Fish with high mercury levels, like tuna • Processed deli meat or organ meats like liver


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• Unpasteurized milk and cheese • Excessive caffeine (>200mg per day) Eating well during pregnancy can help you feel your best and maintain good health. To learn more about food safety and nutrition during pregnancy, check out ParentsCanada’s annual Baby and Child Care Encyclopedia online and in print. “Is spotting during pregnancy normal?” Light spotting is quite common in early pregnancy. Be sure to mention it to your doctor and call a medical professional if you have spotting that is heavy, frequent or lasts for several hours. You should also call your doctor if you experience cramping, spike a fever or have other symptoms that cause concern. “How big is my baby right now?” It’s exciting to know that your baby is growing and thriving inside your body, and many expectant parents keep track of their child’s growth using pregnancy websites that compare fetus size to fruits and vegetables. For example, at four weeks, your baby is the size of a poppy seed but by 12 weeks, they’re closer to the size of a lime. By the halfway mark, they’re a banana, and at 39 weeks, you’ve got a watermelon. It’s amazing what can happen in just nine months! “How can I avoid stretch marks?” This one is a bit tricky, because many women are genetically predisposed to getting stretch marks (meaning, they’re going to happen whether you take preventative action or not). That said, there are things you can do to minimize

the appearance of stretch marks. Keep your belly moisturized with pregnancysafe products, drink plenty of water, eat a healthy diet and take your (physicianapproved) prenatal vitamins. “When will my baby be able to survive outside the womb?” This question has been posed by a lot of expectant mothers who are anxious about the possibility of premature labour. Every pregnancy and infant is different, but a fetus is typically considered viable at around 24 weeks gestation. However, a baby born this prematurely may have serious health complications. General health outcomes are much better for infants born after about 28 weeks gestation, and those born after 34 weeks have health outcomes that are comparable to a full-term infant. Speak to your doctor or midwife if you have concerns. “How can I deal with sciatic pain?” Ouch! Sciatica is common during pregnancy, and your doctor can provide recommendations for safe and effective treatment. This may include massage therapy, chiropractic care, physical therapy, supplements and more. “Is it normal to have vivid sex dreams during pregnancy?” Yes! This can happen for a number of reasons, but medical professionals believe that increased blood flow to your genitals as well as hormonal changes can result in hot-and-heavy, realistic sex dreams. Some (but not all) pregnant women will also experience a heightened ANNUAL 2021

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sex drive in their waking hours, too. And if you don’t want to be touched, let alone have sex? That’s totally normal, too. “Can having sex while pregnant hurt my baby?” Unless your doctor has advised you not to have sex while pregnant, it’s perfectly safe to continue being intimate with your partner. You may have to adapt or try new positions as your body changes, but generally speaking, it’s totally OK to get some lovin’ with a bun in the oven. “What do I need to buy for a newborn?” There are a few ways to answer this because really, “need” is a very different term than “want.” When you welcome your newborn baby into the world, they need very little: a safe place to sleep, diapers and wipes, weather-appropriate clothing, a stroller, a car seat, and, if pumping or using formula, a set of bottles with newborn nipples. It’s also good to have newborn care items like baby shampoo, infant nail clippers and a thermometer. Now, on to the “nice-to-have” items. You may want to get a change table and other nursery furniture, a baby bouncer chair or swing, an audio or video monitor, a great nursing pillow, a diaper bag, a bottle sterilizer, an infant bathtub, baby towels and washcloths, cotton bibs, a sleep sack and extra linens. Additional items like a high chair and baby-proofing gear won’t be needed for several months, but it’s always good to plan ahead. And for new mothers? Grab some sanitary pads, nipple cream, nursing pads, a gel ice pack and a peri bottle.

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“What the heck is going on with my vagina?” OK, so this isn’t the specific question we received from readers, but it sums up a series of questions from expectant moms. Some women googled, “What is lightning crotch?” while others wanted to know if “cheeseburger crotch” was a real thing. Shockingly, both of these terms are associated with actual medical conditions during pregnancy! Lightning crotch is a sudden, sharp jab of pain felt in the vagina or pelvic area during pregnancy. It gets its name from the lightning bolt-like feeling of intense discomfort that lasts several seconds and then disappears. Typically, this pain is the result of added pressure on a nerve and will go away immediately after pregnancy. Speak to your doctor if this pain is persistent or lasts more than a few seconds. On to cheeseburger crotch—a colloquial term for a swollen vagina during pregnancy. As your blood flow increases and/or you retain water, your vulva may appear significantly bigger. This is fairly common and shouldn’t be a cause for panic (though, we would be in favour of renaming this phenomenon).


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STAR-INSPIRED NAMES TO CONSIDER Atlas (Hayley & Tyler Hubbard) Bear (Rachel & Chris Sullivan) Bowie (Jessica Szohr & Brad Richardson) Chapel (Kathryn & Josh Brolin)

Dusty Rose

Daisy (Katy Perry & Orlando Bloom) Delta (Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard) Dusty Rose (Adam Levine & Behati Prinsloo)

CELEBRITYINSPIRED BABY NAMES

Hal (Benedict Cumberbatch & Sophie Hunter)

Celebrities tend to be ahead of the curve (or perhaps there’s an argument to be made that they set the curve) and the unique baby names they choose are often fashion-forward as well. Here’s some celebrity baby name inspo with star-studded and modern monikers given by famous couples (but please, don’t name your kid X Æ A-12).

Maple (Jason Bateman & Amanda Anka)

by VANESSA MILNE

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Ines (Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds) Israel (Aijia & Andy Grammer) Khai (Gigi Hadid & Zayn Malik) Leo (Danielle Pick & Quentin Tarantino) Luna (Kristen Wiig & Avi Rothman) Lyla (Katherine Schwarzenegger & Chris Pratt) Maxwell (Justin & Emily Baldoni) Noah Jon (Kelly Rowland & Tim Weatherspoon) Olympia (Kasi Bennett & Usain Bolt) Phineas (Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake) Rhodes (Emma Roberts & Garrett Hedlund) River (Rooney Mara & Joaquin Phoenix) Roux (Becky Lynch & Seth Rollins) Silas (Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake) Spencer (Mindy Kaling) Vanja (Chloë Sevigny & Sinisa Mackovic) Willa (Sophie Turner & Joe Jonas) Winnie (Megan Park & Tyler Hilton) Wyatt (Anderson Cooper)


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BIRTH PLAN CHECKLIST It’s time to pack your bag and go! (Or, you know, let it sit by the door for a few weeks.) It’s a good idea to pack a bag for you and a bag for the baby, with enough for a two- to three-night stay. Comfortable, loose clothing and pajamas

Cell phone and charger

Comfortable underwear and socks

Nursing bras

Slippers and a robe

Sanitary pads, nursing pads and nipple cream

Newborn diapers and wipes Your favourite pillow, blanket or other

Toothbrush and toothpaste

A refillable water bottle

Healthy snacks

Clothes and blankets for your baby Lip balm, face wash and other toiletries

Your purse and wallet

A notebook and pen

If possible, stock your kitchen with easy-to-prepare foods before your baby arrives. Homemade frozen meals are a great way to plan ahead, if you have the energy to cook. This will make things a little easier on you when you arrive home. Otherwise, take-out is fine (no judgment!).

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WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT RECOVERING FROM CHILDBIRTH Yay! The baby’s here! What a miracle. But Mama, childbirth recovery...it’s not exactly a picnic. After you’ve given birth, you will experience myriad mental and physical changes, from bleeding to mood swings. So how do you know which changes are normal and which ones warrant a call to the doc? Read on for a rundown of what to expect, how to cope and when to ask for help. BLEEDING

VAGINAL SORENESS

What’s normal: It’s normal to have bleeding, similar to a heavy period, for up to six weeks. The lining of the uterus is shedding, so it may be heavy early on, but it should lighten over the next few weeks. You may also experience increased bleeding and pain similar to contractions while breastfeeding, as nursing stimulates oxytocin, which affects all of the smooth muscles in your body. This process is helping your uterus to contract back to its pre-pregnancy size. What’s not normal: Contact your doctor if you are soaking through a pad every hour, if you are passing clots greater than the size of a loonie or if you have foulsmelling discharge or a fever. It may be an infection or retained placenta.

What’s normal: Many women tear or have an episiotomy during delivery, so it’s common for the area to be sore and uncomfortable for up to a few weeks (you likely have stitches, so this makes sense!). Use a peri bottle filled with water after urination or bowel movements to keep the area clean. Some women use ice packs (or maxi pads soaked in water and frozen), especially 24 to 72 hours after delivery, to help bring down the swelling. You can sit on a donut pillow and use stool softener to ease the pain. What’s not normal: If you’ve taken Tylenol or Advil and you still have substantial pain, or if the pain gets worse, talk to your doctor.

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WELCOME BABY

HEMORRHOIDS

MOOD CHANGES

What’s normal: It is very common for women to develop hemorrhoids during pregnancy or during the delivery. Basically, intra-abdominal pressure forces veins to swell and stretch around the anal area. You can treat the symptoms of pain, itching and discomfort by taking regular, 10-minute sitz baths (a shallow bath with warm water). Also be sure to drink lots of water and eat a high fibre diet to avoid straining. You can also apply witch hazel, which is soothing, or use an over-thecounter product containing hydrocortisone and zinc oxide. What’s not normal: For many women, the hemorrhoids will eventually go away, but others will have them long term. Consult with your doctor if you’re bleeding or in a lot of pain.

What’s normal: Forty to 80 per cent of women will develop the baby blues. This is normal. It usually starts during the first postpartum week and can last for a few weeks. Rely on the support of your friends and family to get through it. What’s not normal: Up to 10 per cent of women may develop postpartum depression, which can appear anytime within 12 months of delivery. If you have substantial sadness, anxiety or are having trouble caring for your baby, see your doctor. Anxiety can be common, but if it interferes with eating and sleeping and you are agitated all the time, take it as a warning sign. It can be treated with a range of therapies including individual therapy, group therapy or medication. Women who have had it before are more likely to experience it again.

BREAST PAIN What’s normal: After delivery, your breasts will fill with milk and become engorged. Often, it is difficult for newborns to help relieve the engorgement because they can’t yet suck hard enough. Some babies also have trouble latching, which can cause moms to have bleeding or cracked nipples. For engorgement, use Tylenol or Advil to treat the pain (cool compresses and even cabbage leaves can also help) but you’ll also need to relieve the pressure: Try hand-expressing or pumping and you should see an improvement fairly quickly. If you have sore nipples, lanolin or other cream developed for nipples can help, but you should also see a lactation consultant to make sure you are breastfeeding properly. Otherwise, the pain will worsen.

What’s not normal: Call your doctor if your breast is sore, hard and red, or if you have a fever. It could be an infection called mastitis and you may need antibiotics.

C-SECTION SCAR What’s normal: Follow your doctor’s direction upon discharge to care for your C-section scar. Once the staples come out, you will likely get steri-strip bandages, which you should leave on for as long as your doctor advises. When you remove them, keep the area clean by gently cleansing with soap and water. What’s not normal: If your scar is red, oozing or smelly, contact your doctor. ANNUAL 2021

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In partnership with ParentsCanada

Healthy Mama, Happy Baby

You already know that Munchkin has the best products for your baby, but they’ve got incredible items for new and expectant mothers too, with their Milkmakers line of products. A healthy mama makes for a happy baby—and a happy baby makes a happy mama—so really, taking care of yourself is a win for the whole family. Here’s how to take care of your bump and feel your best as a new mom.

Before Baby

A little prenatal self-care goes a long way! PRENATAL TEA Swap your regular morning tea or coffee for a delicious botanical blend by Munchkin. This caffeine-free prenatal tea is designed to help calm nausea and heartburn during pregnancy and is made from premium certified organic ingredients.

BELLY MASK If you love a good sheet mask for your face, you’re going to love this easy, nourishing belly mask. As your body changes during pregnancy, your skin does a lot of work. This nourishing, moisturizing sheet mask will help improve skin’s elasticity so you feel your best (and avoid stretch marks). They’re convenient and dermatologist-tested, so you can use one as often as you’d like! ALL-NATURAL BELLY BALM Made with coconut oil, rosehip oil and rich shea butter to moisturize, you’ll be wondering where this amazing belly balm has been your whole life. It was developed to soothe growing bellies and keep mamas-to-be feeling comfortable and glowing. The easy twist stick makes application a breeze, and it won’t leave stains or residue. This all-natural product is unscented and safe for daily use.


After Baby Psst — these items make a perfect self-care package for new moms! LACTATION TEA Sometimes, new moms need a little help with breast milk production. Why not get it in the form of a delicious, soothing berry tea that can be enjoyed hot or cold? We love that this product is naturally caffeine-free, kosher and made with certified organic ingredients. It’s got all of the relaxing qualities of traditional tea with the added bonus of milk-producing goodness. No wonder it’s highly recommended by lactation consultants! LACTATION COOKIES When you’re nursing, you’re hungry — and doesn’t every new mom deserve a tasty, convenient snack made with real chocolate chips? These bite-sized cookies come in individually wrapped bags that can be tossed into a purse or diaper bag or easily grabbed from your kitchen cupboards. They’re made with wholesome ingredients that support the production of breast milk like oats, brewer’s yeast and flaxseed. These cookies are recommended by lactation consultants so grab a package, brew yourself a cup of that lactation tea and enjoy a snack that does double duty. ALL-NATURAL NIPPLE BALM Say goodbye to sore, aching nipples (and that awful greasy feeling on your hands). Munchkin’s all-natural balm is not only super effective, it rolls on like a stick of deodorant, keeping your hands nice and clean. This mess-free product is made with coconut butter, shea butter and sunflower seed oil to aid in the healing of dry or cracked nipples. If you’ve been there, you know what a must-have a good nipple balm is! Plus, it’s unscented, cruelty-free and totally safe for both mom and baby.


WELCOME BABY

what a sleep coach wants you to know I wish I could draft a proclamation about newborn sleep to give all new parents when they finally welcome their little bundles of joy. by ALANNA MCGINN

Make sure wakeful periods aren’t too long. Ideally, your little one is only up for an hour at a time—I recommend babies are awake for an hour and then asleep for two hours (think “up one, down two” to remember). Sleep begets sleep, so good naps will help lead to good nights.

Your baby will learn to sleep independently, and once they have the skill, they have it. But they will continue to grow and develop and change, so you’ll learn to be consistent and to make tweaks here and there to timing, environment, etc.

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Take the pressure off. There is such a thing as the fourth trimester—the first three months after your baby has arrived. They suck (sorry, but it’s true!) and during this time, there are no rules. Focus on safe sleep, creating a consistent sleep environment and starting a regular bedtime routine, but after that, give yourself a break. Aim for a cave-like sleep environment. This means dark, quiet and cool. White noise is also an excellent way to drown out external sounds. A cool environment is recommended so babies don’t overheat. Layer your baby accordingly, and use sleep sacks or wearable blankets. There is a normal developmental phase where newborns cry more than any other time. If your child is experiencing crying spells in the late afternoon and early evening, this might be what you’re dealing with. It will usually pass by three or four months, but you can also help to lessen the effects by avoiding overstimulation.


WELCOME BABY

Do babies dream? You’re bound to notice smiles, sighs, twitching limbs or fluttering eyelids while your baby sleeps, leading you to wonder if they are in fact having “sweet dreams.” While some researchers believe babies experience some form of rudimentary dreaming, most neuroscientists believe their brains need time to develop before they’re capable of self-awareness and the abstract thinking required to truly dream.

DO BABIES DREAM?

AND 10 OTHER BABY QUESTIONS ANSWERED Now that your little bundle has arrived, welcome to the baffling world of parenting and searching for answers to random questions for the rest of time. We’ve got the answers to 10 queries you’ve no doubt already considered. By KAILEE SOMMERS

Do babies get headaches? Headaches and migraines in babies are possible, and just like in older kids and adults, they can be caused by a variety of things, from dehydration or hunger, to illness or infection. Your wee one obviously can’t clearly communicate their discomfort, but you may notice your baby is fussier or clingier than usual. If you suspect your baby has a headache, be sure to continue offering breast milk or formula and decrease stimulation by cuddling up in a dark and quiet room. Can babies see colour? Babies in the womb can tell the difference between light and dark, and newborns can see contrast between black and white shapes. It’s not until they are several weeks old that they will be able to see their first primary colour—red. Babies can distinguish colours as early as three to four months, and while their colour vision won’t be as sensitive as an adult’s, it’s generally believed that babies see the full

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spectrum of colours by the time they reach five months of age. Why do babies spit up so much? Particularly in the earliest months of life, it’s completely normal for babies to spit up breast milk or formula during or shortly after a feeding. So why does it happen? In older children and adults, a muscle located between the esophagus and stomach is responsible for keeping stomach contents where they belong. Until this muscle has time to mature (which can take up to 12 months), your baby may be prone to spitting up.

What can you do? • Avoid overfeeding by feeding your baby smaller amounts, more frequently. • Burp frequently, both during and after feeding to avoid air build up. • Keep your baby upright and limit activity after meals. Why do babies look cross-eyed? Some babies seem to have an off-kilter gaze soon after birth, which can be concerning to new parents. Not to worry, though. This is a perfectly normal—and common— newborn characteristic. Some babies are born with extra folds of skin in the inner corners of

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their eyes or a wide-bridged nose, giving them a cross-eyed appearance until they grow into these features. (You may also notice your baby’s eyes don’t always move in unison, but again, this is normal as your baby’s brain and eye muscles develop and learn to coordinate their movements.) Fortunately, these things are rarely anything to worry about and a baby’s eyes typically straighten out by four months, but if you’re concerned, it never hurts to consult your child’s doctor. Do babies recognize voices? Researchers have long known that a newborn recognizes, and even prefers, their mom’s voice. This makes sense as Mom’s voice is the most significant sound your baby hears in the womb, and your baby can already recognize it from the third trimester! With continued exposure, your baby will also start to recognize and form a preference to their other parent, as well as other close family members and friends. When will my baby’s eye colour be set? The colour of a baby’s irises depends on a protein called melanin, which is also responsible for hair and skin colour. Specialized cells in our bodies called melanocytes are responsible for secreting melanin and typically, the most significant changes in eye colour occur anywhere from three to nine months, with most babies having their permanent eye colour


WELCOME BABY

by 12 months. Of course, there are always exceptions and occasionally a child’s eye colour can continue to darken up to six years of age. Why do newborns smell so good? As research has shown, that mesmerizing newborn baby aroma is very real, and as it turns out, it’s a nifty little biological trick for keeping babies alive and well. Scientists have learned that for women, the scent of a newborn stimulates the parts of the brain that recognizes reward and pleasure, helping to forge a strong mother-toinfant bond. As to what exactly causes that intoxicating newborn smell, no one knows for sure. Some researchers speculate that it comes from their sweat glands, or that it’s the lingering scent of amniotic fluid or vernix caseosa—the white, creamy substance that coats babies to protect them in utero. Do babies get bored? They sure can. Babies are living, breathing, learning machines, so it makes sense that they experience boredom when they run out of interesting stimuli. Unlike a teenager who will let you know loud and clear when they are bored, a baby’s clues will be more subtle, like exhibiting signs of restlessness or crying. If you think your baby may be bored, a simple change of scenery or a different plaything is often enough to grab their attention again.

Why do babies poop when they eat? You’ll quickly find it’s best to wait until after mealtime for a diaper change, as breast milk is not only easy for babies to digest but is actually considered a natural laxative! Babies who are breastfed often poop immediately after, if not while they’re eating. Generally, formula-fed babies have bowel movements less frequently than breastfed babies, but all babies are different and this isn’t always the case. In the early weeks, babies may poop during or after every feed, but as time goes on and their stomach grows, they may settle into a different routine. Why do babies fight sleep? At some point or another, all babies will fight sleep—even when it’s clear sleep is what they need most. They’re rubbing their eyes, fussing and yawning, and yet are seemingly refusing to doze off. Why? There are a few reasons why babies fight sleep but the most common one is that they are simply overtired. Babies tend to have a “sleep window” during which they are primed to fall asleep, and if they are awake too long, they can become frantic, fussy and downright cranky, naturally making it even more difficult for them to succumb to the sweet, sweet zzz’s. ANNUAL 2021

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WORK-LIFE BALANCE? FORGET ABOUT IT “Work-life balance” has become a prominent catchphrase for parents in the workforce. It’s an objective many moms, especially, try to achieve by making changes to both their work and home lives to ease stress and actually enjoy being present with their families. That’s all well and good in theory, but in practice? Easier said than done. by JANE BRADLEY

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WELCOME BABY

W

We all love to follow rules like drinking eight glasses of water a day or walking 10,000 steps. If we follow these rules, we feel accomplished. Better about ourselves. Parenting is no different. The rules of being a parent are vast, always evolving, fluid and often impossible to achieve. Part of the problem is adding the often-touted work-life balance rule to the mix. But I call BS. People don’t need another rule to make them feel less-than. Work-life balance comes from a good place. When Lillian Moller Gilbreth introduced the term back in the 1920s, it was to help women who were working long hours in factories. It gained popularity in the ‘80s with the Women’s Liberation Movement advocating for more flexible schedules and maternity leave. It has since morphed again, but this time it seems to have become yet another perfection clause women must strive to meet. In 2021, I would like to think that the term can evolve further. Instead of becoming another thing to make us feel like we’re failing, my wish is that it becomes a check-in with yourselves, to make sure work and life aren’t making you feel like you’re spread too thin. It shouldn’t be about trying to maintain a consistent 50/50 balance.

As mom to two boys all grown up, consider me your wise sage in this arena and take my advice: Embrace the term, but with a refreshed, me-first perspective, versus panicking because you are spending too much time at your job and not enough time with your family. Sometimes a deadline needs your full attention. Other times a sick kiddo demands all of you and work takes a backseat. Shit happens and, to me, it’s all about triage: React to the pot that is about to boil over and try not to feel bad about it. You’ll know when you have reached burnout. When you need a break from your work, boss, kids, partner, parents, in-laws and even friends. You’ll be quick to anger, moody, tough on yourself and snappy with your family. (This is when you lose it over tiny things, like socks on the floor or having to listen to “Baby Shark” for millionth time.) It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that you may have work-life imbalance. That’s when you have to hit the proverbial snooze button and recharge. And I will not patronize you by telling you to take a hot bath, read a good book or meditate. You do you. Bottom line from someone who’s has been there: Ignore the imperfect work-life balance ratio and instead, check in with yourself and ask for help when you need it. Don’t stretch yourself even thinner to abide by the rule. After all, you already have to drink eight glasses of water a day.

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5 QUESTIONS

YOU MIGHT NOT THINK TO ASK A DAYCARE PROVIDER 1. Can my baby nap on their own schedule, or do they have to adjust to the centre’s schedule? Some smaller daycares will take cues from your baby and put them down for a nap when they’re tired, but others will want your little one to adjust to the centre’s routine. If the latter, ask for a copy of the daily schedule so you can be sure you’re OK with naptimes and work to get your babe on the same schedule before starting daycare.

2. What is the fee schedule? Some daycares allow you to pay once, usually at the beginning of the month, while others want to be paid weekly or bi-weekly.

3. Will I get a report on my child’s sleep and meals every day? Some daycares generate a report recalling a child’s day, which can be helpful for parents navigating dinner and bedtime.

2. What is the policy for sickness? The majority of daycares will require 24 hours without fever or other symptoms before a child is allowed to returning to daycare programming.

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4. Are stat holidays and any other vacations taken into consideration for fees? Most daycares bill the same amount month over month, regardless of whether or not there is a statutory holiday or other vacation closure. If you remove your child from daycare for any extended reason— family vacation, illness, bereavement, etc.—it’s likely that you will need to continue to pay the fee in order to hold their spot. But some daycares have policies to allow for a pause in an emergency so it’s worth asking.


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RELAX — YOU’VE GOT THIS! Humans have been doing this for thousands of years, so there’s no need to worry. After all, it’s just a baby! They’re, like, seven pounds and totally harmless. by ERIN PEPLER

Relax, New Mom — you’ve got this. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, you could put the diaper on backwards in a sleep-deprived daze, causing the next liquid poop explosion to shoot up your baby’s back with the force of a small but mighty volcano. Better yet, this spectacular poop explosion could happen in your baby’s crib, creating a scene that would make Jackson Pollack’s ghost jealous. Your baby is an artist—cool! Or maybe you’ve got a diaper of your own to worry about, or at least a maxi-pad the length of an airport runway. This is to be expected when you bleed for several weeks after producing a small person from your loins. It’s not gross, it’s just leftover baby house exiting your beautiful body. Perhaps you’ll wake up one morning and realize that the crusty spit-up stain

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on your pajama pants has been there for at least 72 hours. This just means you’re helping the environment by doing less laundry. Damn, girl, you’re a new mom and an eco-warrior. Another day, you might find yourself (finally) enjoying a hot shower only to realize that a) you haven’t shaved anything below your ribcage in months, and b) your right breast is twice the size of the left one because milk production isn’t an evenly distributed job. Oh wow, and now both breasts are shooting out milk like a fountain in Las Vegas. That’s exciting! Or maybe your breasts aren’t bursting with milk because you’ve got clogged ducts or worse, mastitis. Don’t worry, this just means you get to walk around the house with ice-cold cabbage leaves in your bra, calming your fiery-hot nipples just as nature intended. This is called natural birth control, and it’s 100 per cent effective. As those early weeks go on, it might just happen that you’re so exhausted, you call your baby by the dog’s name, catch yourself making this error and then have to think really hard before remembering your child’s actual name. (Bonus points if you have to look at the birth certificate for confirmation.) Don’t worry, it happens. You’re doing great. Or maybe, just maybe, some things will go right and other things will go hilariously wrong, and you’ll still be an incredible new parent because literally no one is perfect, and every mom is great in their own way. Wear those crunchy, milk-stained pajamas with honour, Mama. You’ve earned them, and you’re doing awesome.


JOY OF PARENTING

THIS IS

ISA EL YOUR CHILD MAY BE MISSING PROTECTION FOR MENINGITIS B* EVEN IF THEY RECEIVED A MENINGITIS VACCINE Ask your child’s doctor about meningitis B* and vaccination.

Vaccination may not fully protect all people who are vaccinated and does not treat infection or reduce the risk of complications. Side effects and allergic reactions may occur. Ask your healthcare professional if vaccination is right for your child. *Meningococcal disease caused by Neisseria meningitidis group B strains.

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