Parents Canada Annual Guide for New Parents – 2023

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HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR BABY

WON’ T SL E E P THE LOWDOWN ON

Parental Leave POPULAR PARENTING STYLES:

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THINGS EXPECTANT PARENTS GOOGLE MOST

A Primer

ANNUAL GUIDE FOR NEW PARENTS


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table of contents 23/

05/ 7 Weird Things to Expect During Pregnancy

06/ What’s Safe to Eat and Drink During Pregnancy 08/ Need It, Want It, Gotta Have It! For Your Baby Questions Expectant 10/ 7Parents Constantly Google

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5 Conversations to Have with Your Partner Before Your Baby Arrives

15/ Pack Your Bags: Delivery Checklist

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21/ What No One Tells

You About Recovering from Childbirth

23/ How to Cope When

Your Baby Won’t Sleep Through the Night

25/ Secrets from a Sleep Coach

30/ The Goods on Mat Leave

32/ Parenting Styles: A Primer

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36/ Rethinking WorkLife Balance

38/ 5 Questions You

May Not Think to Ask Daycare Providers

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welcome.

Bringing home a new baby is an exciting, life-changing event in the lives of parents. Whether it’s your first or your fifth, meeting your newest family member never gets old. But the early days of new parenthood do get exhausting, and it can feel isolating. That’s why we created the ParentsCanada Annual Guide for New Parents—so you know you aren’t alone.

HERE TO HELP WITH EXPERT ADVICE

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Katie Dupuis ART DIRECTOR Dawn Cumby-Dallin CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lisa van de Geyn DIRECTOR OF SALES Lori Dickson AND MARKETING CONTROLLER Lisa Mackay DIGITAL DIRECTOR Shardae Lang

This magazine offers a mix of useful and entertaining content, from what no one tells you about labour and delivery to the questions expectant parents google most. We want to ease your anxiety and answer your questions while also making you laugh here and there, because, while there’s no doubt that parenting is hard, it can also be really fun. You’ll see. Just as soon as you get some sleep. We’re always here for you at ParentsCanada, with the information and advice you need. Start here, with this magazine, and then come check out parentscanada.com for so much more.

The ParentsCanada Team

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Blake Eligh Lisa Evans Alanna McGinn Allison Venditti OWNER/PUBLISHER Jane Bradley WWW.PARENTSCANADA.COM

Copyright © 2023 Jane Media Inc. The ParentsCanada Annual is a registered trademark of Jane Media Inc. All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication, reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system without the prior written consent of the publisher—or in the case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, license from the Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency—is an infringement of the copyright law. Printed and bound in Canada by Dollco Printing Inc.

ON THE COVER

Kaleb, pictured at seven months WINNER! Kaleb’s photo was selected from dozens of entries from across the country to be this year’s cover model. Congratulations to baby Kaleb and his mom, Adrienne, who submitted his picture.

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Published in Canada by Jane Media Inc. 407 Iroquois Shore Rd., Suite 8, Oakville, ON L6H 1M3 Telephone: 905-334-6417 This project has been made possible in part by the Government of Canada.


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WEIRD THINGS TO EXPECT DURING PREGNANCY

You probably know about morning sickness and swollen ankles—these are your garden-variety pregnancy ailments—but there are other symptoms no one seems to talk about. We’re breaking the taboo and rounding up some of more obscure pregnancy symptoms to help new mamas know they aren’t alone.

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DRY, ITCHY SKIN is very common, especially around the abdomen and breasts (it’s not used to being stretched!). Avoid taking hot showers, use pregnancy-safe moisturizers or oils to soothe skin, and wear breathable clothing on warm days.

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SWELLING OR BLEEDING GUMS may occur due to increased pregnancy hormones. Make sure you brush and floss regularly, and visit your dentist early in your pregnancy for a checkup.

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SHORTNESS OF BREATH might occur as your uterus grows and pressure on your upper body increases. Try this: Stand up and raise your arms over your head. By lifting your ribcage, you’ll be able to breathe in more air. Try to keep your shoulders back so your chest area can open further, allowing more breathing space.

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A STUFFY NOSE is not uncommon. The increased hormones dry out the lining of your nose, making it inflamed and swollen. Try to drink at least six to eight glasses of water a day to thin out

mucous, and avoid using commercial nose sprays. Use a humidifier or vaporizer to add moisture to the air.

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HEARTBURN can seem non-stop when you are expecting. Stay ahead of it by avoiding fried or spicy foods, eating small meals throughout the day rather than larger, less frequent meals, and rest/ sleep with your upper body propped up to prevent stomach acids from rising.

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LEAKING COLOSTRUM (a thick, yellowish fluid containing valuable antibodies for your babe) from the nipples is normal and can happen as early as the second trimester. Wear nursing pads in your bra to protect your clothing from leaks.

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DIZZINESS is common during pregnancy—especially during the first trimester. You may be able to prevent or handle these episodes by eating regularly to keep your blood sugar stable, lying on your left side to improve circulation, and sitting down and practicing controlled breathing. You should also avoid becoming overheated. PC ANNUAL 2023

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What’s Safe to

EAT AND DRINK During Pregnancy From how much coffee you’re allowed to drink to what you can order at your favourite sushi restaurant, we’ve got the answers you need. There are many joyful parts of pregnancy, but being on the receiving end of every old wives’ tale is not one of them. With all of the conflicting opinions, it can be challenging to know what’s true and what isn’t. If you’re worried about what is safe to eat and drink when you’re expecting, don’t listen to your GreatAunt Ruth and keep reading instead.

What to Know About Food Choices During Pregnancy Here’s the biggest thing to remember: Undercooked and raw food should be avoided (this includes things like raw eggs in salad dressing). This rule might seem like a no-brainer, but you might not realize all of the things that can carry foodborne illnesses if they aren’t cooked properly. Below you’ll find details on some of the foods that are the biggest question marks for pregnant people.

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STEAK: Steak is fine but it should be fully cooked. Leave the rare or mediumrare preparation until you’re finished with breastfeeding. SUSHI: Not all sushi is an issue. If you love nothing more than Japanese takeout on a Friday night, just make sure that all of your sushi fillings are fully cooked or veggie-based. Raw fish can harbour harmful bacteria. SOFT CHEESES: This one almost isn’t fair because it’s not about the consistency of the cheese. Instead, it’s about how the dairy ingredient in the cheese was handled. Pasteurized soft cheeses—those made with ingredients that have been properly sterilized to kill any pathogens—are fine. That said, if you’re unsure about whether or not a dairy product has been pasteurized, ask


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someone in-store, or steer clear just to be safe. DELI MEAT: You may not know this, but cured meats are not cooked. They also tend to be high in sodium and saturated fat, which aren’t ideal during pregnancy. Some women cook deli meat so they are able to eat it when expecting—if you go this route, just make sure the meat reaches an internal temperature of 165°F before consuming. CERTAIN FRUITS AND VEGETABLES: Almost all fruits and veggies are fine, but be sure they are thoroughly washed before consuming. The exception is raw sprouts of any kind—they can easily harbour disease, even when cleaned properly.

What to Know About Drink Choices During Pregnancy You know not to drink alcohol when you’re pregnant, but you may not know how hard and fast that rule is. You may also have been told to completely avoid caffeine, but, coffee lovers, you’ll be glad to know there’s a threshold. Keep reading for the facts. ALCOHOL: Some people think that a little bit of alcohol early in the first trimester or late in the third trimester is okay, but Health Canada advises that there is no safe point to introduce alcohol when you’re pregnant. CAFFEINE: High levels of caffeine have been linked to adverse effects for both baby and mother, but experts say that 200mg of the naturally occurring chemical each day is okay. This amount

is equal to about two six-ounce cups of coffee daily. HERBAL TEAS: Some teas have active ingredients that can impact both the mother and the baby. Because there is limited data on what herbal ingredients are safe, it’s best to avoid all herbal options unless a healthcare practitioner has confirmed otherwise (for example, some people suggest drinking raspberry leaf tea when you’re approaching your due date, in order to tone the uterus for delivery). SMOOTHIES: While smoothies can pack a nutrient punch, you should doublecheck ingredients. If you use juice in your smoothie, make sure it has been pasteurized (be sure to ask if you’re ordering a smoothie at a restaurant, too). Unpasteurized juice can lead to illness. Also make sure that all fruits and veggies have been washed properly. PC

DOUBLE-CHECK YOUR MEDS Many medications aren’t safe for developing fetuses, so it’s important to speak to your doctor or pharmacist about any prescription meds you’re taking. As for over-thecounter medications, there are quite a few that should be avoided (for example, ibuprofen isn’t safe during pregnancy). Call your local pharmacy or ask to speak to the pharmacist instore before you purchase any OTC meds—your pre-pregnancy go-tos for headaches, joint pain, stomach upset, etc. may not be recommended when you’re expecting. ANNUAL 2023

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For Your Baby You’ve heard it before—babies come with a lot of gear! But so many accessories can be overwhelming, especially for first-time parents, and honestly, they’re not all essential. We’ve rounded up the top must-have baby items to add to your registry so you can make sure you get what you and your baby really need.

Munchkin 360° Cloud High Chair This high chair makes mealtime more enjoyable because baby can eat and play in any direction since it turns 360 degrees. This easy-to-clean chair has wipeable surfaces that are free of nooks and crannies, so there’s nowhere for Cheerios to hide! Plus, it’s dishwasher safe.

C’est Silicone! Open Training Cup 2oz for 4+mo Ditch the bottles and say hello to your baby’s first sippy cup. Soft, 100 percent food-grade silicone is easy to grip and gentle on baby’s gums.

C’est Silicone! Training Cup with Straw 4oz for 6+mo Cheers to a cup that grows with your child! This two-in-one design converts from an open cup to a straw cup. Plus, it’s dishwasher safe, so no handwashing for you.

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Brica 360° Baby In-Sight Pivot Car Mirror This extra-large adjustable car mirror gives you the perfect view of your baby while you drive. The wide-angle, clear-view mirror rotates 360 degrees so you can keep an eye on your precious cargo at all times. The 11.25” x 8” mirror is crash-tested and shatterresistant for optimal safety.


Bluetooth-Enabled Baby Swing Something unexpected happens to your body when you become a parent. You suddenly find yourself constantly swaying—even when you aren’t holding your baby. That’s because nothing soothes a baby more than side-to-side motion. This swing is designed to emulate your natural swaying motion by rocking side-to-side. Use one of the built-in soothing sounds or play a customized playlist from your phone via Bluetooth.

Munchkin Antimicrobial Changing Kit XL This is the one baby accessory you won’t leave home without! A portable changing station makes diaper changes on the go easier for parents and safer for baby. An extra-large, waterresistant changing pad with silver ion antimicrobial technology prevents the growth of germs. Plus, all changing essentials, including wipes and disposal bags, are stored neatly inside.

Munchkin Touch Free Wipe Warmer Make diaper changes more enjoyable, especially in the colder months, with the touch-free wipe warmer. An automatic open/close lid means there’s one less thing to touch during diaper changes. The night-light feature is helpful for nighttime changes, and it shuts off automatically after 15 minutes.

Brica Seat Guardian Yes, you can still have nice things and have kids. But your nice things may need a little help to stay clean. The Brica Seat Guardian features durable, water-resistant material that protects car seat upholstery from dirt, spills and compression damage, keeping your car looking like new.

Brica White Hot Sun Safety Shade Beat the heat with this easyto-use window shade. The premium mesh fabric blocks glare and helps to protect your little one from harmful UVA and UVB rays without compromising the view. A one-push retract button makes for easy roll-up, and a heat indicator turns white when the car is too hot.

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QUESTIONS EXPECTANT PARENTS CONSTANTLY

GOOGLE By LISA VAN DE GEYN

We know what’s on your mind but give those googling thumbs a break. We took the liberty of providing you with the answers you’re looking for. Spoiler alert: There are two poop questions and one about sex. You’re welcome.

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“Do I need to eat for two?” No, you don’t need to double your meals. According to the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada, you need to up your calories only in your second and third trimesters (an extra 340 calories each day in second trimester, and 450 calories per day in third). You can easily meet the requirement by adding a snack or two—have a piece of fruit, yogurt, cheese, a piece of toast or something else you’re craving.

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“How can I relieve constipation?”

“Why is my partner ticking me off?”

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Yeah, pooping isn’t always easy when you’re expecting—many women suffer from constipation. (It’s pretty crappy, pun intended.) Your best bet is to amp up your fluids (water is your BFF; prune juice also helps), increase your fibre intake and add an extra walk or more movement into your days. Your healthcare provider can recommend a stool softener, too.

We understand. Pregnant folks are super hormonal and that can certainly affect our emotions, making us irritable, impatient, easily aggravated, livid…you get the idea. Try not to be hard on yourself (or your partner). Psychologists recommend making time for self-care and if you feel your better half isn’t being as supportive as you need, share your feelings using as many rude polite words as you can muster.

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“What can I do about swollen ankles?” Cankles are highly unpleasant. Swollen ankles are normal (and annoying), and they’re caused by a few things your body is dealing with when you’re pregnant, including extra fluid retention. Try not to stand for long periods of time, get into a swimming pool (walking in the water or doing laps can help), wear loose clothing, elevate your legs in bed and sleep on your left side. It’s uncomfortable now but it won’t last—your ankles (and feet) will return to their usual size after you deliver.

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“Will I poop during labour?” Ah, another poop question. The answer to this question is most likely, yes. And no one—we’re not kidding, no one—will bat an eye. Your doctor doesn’t care. Your nurses don’t care. And your partner and anyone else in the room won’t even notice. Nurses are like ninjas—you’ll be cleaned up in seconds.

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“How big is my baby now?”

Seeds, nuts, pieces of fruit—we all love making these comparisons when it comes to our growing babies. Most parents are interested in knowing what’s happening each week, but here’s a quick glance: At four weeks pregnant, your wee one is the size of a poppy seed; eight weeks, a raspberry; 12 weeks, a lime; 16 weeks, an avocado; 20 weeks, the length of a banana; 27 weeks, a head of cauliflower; 33 weeks, a pineapple; 39 weeks, a small watermelon; 40 weeks, a small pumpkin.

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“Can my baby feel us when we’re having sex?” Nah, you’re good. Get busy. Enjoy. Babies can’t feel a thing— they’re protected in amniotic fluid up in your uterus. Do it whenever you want, as long as your healthcare provider has given you the green light. (Some women are told to hold off at certain points of their pregnancies if they’re high risk.) PC

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5 BEFORE YOUR BABY ARRIVES

Conversations To Have With Your Partner By LISA EVANS

Becoming parents is a life-changing experience for a couple and, from the moment that second line appears on the test, you might feel your relationship shift. It’s no longer just the two of you—there’s someone else to factor into decisions now. It’s an exciting time, but also one that demands significant adjustments. Having the tough conversations before you get pregnant is ideal, but at the very least, get on the same page before baby makes three. It’ll be a lot easier to tackle the five topics below when you’re not knee-deep in diapers and covered in spit-up.

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What are we doing about maternity/paternity leave?

While it’s often assumed the person carrying the baby will be the primary caregiver for the first year of their life, more childcare is shared between parents than ever before. Will each partner take some parental leave? How long will each of you be at home?

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How will we divide up housework and chores?

Once the baby arrives, you may find that your household that once ran like a welloiled machine becomes, well, in need of more frequent oil changes. Who will take on the cooking, the dishes, the piles (and piles) of laundry? Consider your feelings about outsourcing help. If you or your partner are against hiring someone to clean your house, for example, decide who will handle which chores.

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about childcare? 3 What This is a biggie. As soon as

you learn you’re expecting, research childcare in your area and get on waitlists. It’s also a great time to talk to your partner about the factors most important to you when it comes to choosing childcare. Are you more comfortable with a home daycare or a centre? What is your childcare budget and does it match your wish list?

involved will our 4 How extended families be?

Some people grow up with very tightknit families, and it feels like a no-brainer to have grandparents, aunts and uncles in their everyday lives. But this isn’t the case for everyone. Talk about how much involvement you’d like from relatives on both sides, both in the days after your baby arrives and in the coming years.

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How will our parenting styles mesh?

Of course, you can’t know exactly the type of parent you will be until you’re in the thick of it, but you probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of mom or dad you want to be. Talk about this as early as possible. This will open the door to conversations about things like sleep training, baby-wearing, attachment parenting, etc. for your baby, and can even lead to longer-term chats about discipline styles, routines, education preferences and more. PC


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Pack Your

Bags It’s go time! You’ve survived morning sickness, aversions to your oncefavourite foods and many (many) nights of uncomfortable sleep. The good news? The main event could be any day now…this is it! So, get your bag ready—with enough items for a two- to three-night stay—for both you and your wee one. Use this handy checklist to ensure you’re all set.

omfy, loose C clothing and pjs

Toothbrush and toothpaste

Comfy underwear and socks

Your purse and wallet

Nursing bras Robe and slippers Your favourite pillow and/or blanket Sanitary pads, nursing pads and nipple cream (thank us later) Lip balm, face wash and toiletries

Cellphone and charger Refillable water bottle Notebook and pen Snacks Baby clothes and baby blankets Newborn diapers and wipes

EXPERT TIP: If you have time (and energy) before the big day, stock your kitchen with easy-to-prepare foods before your baby arrives. Homemade frozen meals will be handy to pop in the oven, making mealtimes easier when you get home. We’re also fans of takeout. No judgement here.

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Foldable legs for easy storage

Tray hooks onto back of chair for easy stow-away

Beautifully modern. Where decor and design meet seamlessly. Float fits right in.

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3 NUTRIENTS YOUR BABY NEEDS TO BUILD A

HEALTHY BRAIN

As parents we want to do everything we possibly can to help our kids get a head start in life. There’s a lot of information out there, and that means a lot of pressure! There’s music for babies, reading for babies and even yoga for babies…but what really makes a difference? If that all seems like a bit much, there’s good news. There’s one thing you can do that truly will help your baby’s brain development: Feed it properly. To operate well, the brain needs more than 40 nutrients every day, with certain nutrients being critical to building and growing the brain. Without these nutrients, irreversible brain deficits may occur. This is why diet matters.

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It’s a n o-brain er baby’s brain is —your the ke who y y to our lit tle one becom will e. But what d take fo oes it rt to dev he human b elop p r roperly ain readin ?K g to le arn mo eep re. Thankfully, your newborn was designed to thrive on human milk. Amazingly, this milk provides every single nutrient your baby’s brain needs, in the right amounts (aside from vitamin D, which can easily be supplemented). Commercial formulas are also carefully designed to match what’s found in human milk.

But when your baby is six months old, that liquid diet no longer provides 100 percent of the nutrition they require. Your baby needs certain kinds of solid foods to fill in the nutritional gaps. Omega 3, iron and choline all fall into this category. Here’s why your child needs these nutrients and how you can easily include them in their diet.


Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Iron

Fat is absolutely critical for baby brain development. Sixty percent of the brain is comprised of fat! Omega-3 fatty acids like DHA and EPA are found in fat and these help to develop vision and the parts of the brain that regulate attention, inhibition and impulsivity.

This is arguably the most important nutrient for brain growth and development. When your baby turns seven months, their need for iron increases by 40 times. Believe it or not, a seven-month-old baby needs 1.4 times more iron than a 30-yearold male!

Omega-3 Foods for Baby Fatty fish like salmon and sardines, shellfish, dried seaweed and DHAenhanced eggs

Iron is needed for the following functions: • growing the anatomical structure of the brain • myelination, which allows for the rapid passing of information in the nervous system • the development and coordination of brain messengers such as dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine

Choline This essential nutrient is closely related to the B vitamins. Babies need choline because it plays innumerable roles in brain development, including memory. Equally fascinating, researchers are discovering that choline isn’t a solo operator: A synergistic effect is seen when the brain receives choline, DHA and lutein, a nutrient found in many fruits and vegetables. Choline Foods for Baby Egg yolks, beef, soybeans and potatoes

Iron Foods for Baby Dark meats such as beef, bison, lamb or goat, and ironfortified infant cereals, as well as lentils, sardines and quinoa

By thoughtfully planning a balanced diet including starter foods rich in omega 3, iron and choline, your baby’s brain will get the nutrients it needs to grow and develop. Baby yoga, optional.

Jessica Penner, BSc, Registered Dietitian Nita Sharda, BSc, Registered Dietitian Visit happyhealthyeaters.com for more information.

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WELCOME BABY

What No One Tells You About

RECOVERING FROM CHILDBIRTH

Yay! The baby’s here! What a miracle. But childbirth recovery...it’s not exactly a picnic. After you’ve given birth, you will experience myriad mental and physical changes, from bleeding to mood swings. So how do you know which changes are normal and which ones warrant a call to the doc? Read on for a rundown of what to expect, how to cope and when to ask for help. BLEEDING What’s normal: It’s normal to have bleeding, similar to a heavy period, for up to six weeks. The lining of the uterus is shedding, so it may be heavy early on but it should lighten over the next few weeks. You may also experience increased bleeding and pain similar to contractions while breastfeeding, as nursing stimulates oxytocin, which affects all of the smooth muscles in your body. This process is helping your uterus to contract back to its prepregnancy size. What’s not normal: Contact your doctor if you are soaking through a pad every hour, if you are passing clots greater than the size of a loonie, or if you have foul-smelling discharge or a fever. It may be an infection or retained placenta. VAGINAL SORENESS What’s normal: Many women tear or have an episiotomy during delivery, so it’s common for the area to be sore and

uncomfortable for up to a few weeks (you likely have stitches, so this makes sense). Use a peri bottle filled with water after urination or bowel movements to keep the area clean. Some women use ice packs (or maxi pads soaked in water and frozen), especially 24 to 72 hours after delivery, to help bring down the swelling. It’s also recommended to sit on a donut pillow and use a stool softener to stay ahead of the pain. What’s not normal: If you’ve taken Tylenol or Advil and you still have substantial pain, or if the pain gets worse, call your doctor. HEMORRHOIDS What’s normal: It is very common for women to develop hemorrhoids during pregnancy or during delivery. Basically, intra-abdominal pressure forces veins to swell and stretch around the anal area. You can treat the symptoms of pain, itching and discomfort by taking regular, 10-minute sitz baths (a shallow bath with ANNUAL 2023

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WELCOME BABY

warm water). Also be sure to drink lots of water and eat a high-fibre diet to avoid straining. You can also apply witch hazel, which is soothing, or use an overthe-counter product containing hydrocortisone and zinc oxide. What’s not normal: For many women, the hemorrhoids will eventually go away, but others will have them long-term. Consult with your doctor if you’re bleeding or are in a lot of pain. BREAST PAIN What’s normal: After delivery, your breasts will fill with milk and become engorged. Often, it is difficult for newborns to help relieve the engorgement because they can’t yet suck hard enough. Some babies also have trouble latching, which can cause moms to have bleeding or cracked nipples. For engorgement, use Tylenol or Advil to treat the pain (cool compresses and even cabbage leaves can also help) but you’ll also need to relieve the pressure: Try hand-expressing or pumping and you should see an improvement fairly quickly. If you have sore nipples, lanolin or other cream developed for nipples can help, but you should also see a lactation consultant to see if you can tweak your nursing techniques or positions. Otherwise, the pain will worsen. What’s not normal: Call your doctor if your breast is sore, hard and red, or if you have a fever. It could be an infection called mastitis and you may need antibiotics.

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C-SECTION SCAR What’s normal: Follow your doctor’s directions to care for your C-section scar. Once the staples come out, you will likely get steri-strip bandages, which you should leave on for as long as your doctor advises. When you remove them, keep the area clean by gently cleansing with soap and water. What’s not normal: If your scar is an angry colour of red, oozing or smelly, contact your doctor. MOOD CHANGES What’s normal: Forty to 80 percent of women will develop what’s commonly called “the baby blues.” This is normal. This mood issue is related to the change in post-birth hormones and it usually starts during the first postpartum week. It can last for a few days up to a few weeks. Rely on the support of your friends and family to get through it. What’s not normal: Up to 10 percent of women may develop postpartum depression, which can appear anytime within 12 months of delivery. If you have substantial sadness or anxiety, or are having trouble caring for your baby, see your doctor. Anxiety can be common, but if it interferes with eating and sleeping and you are agitated all the time, take it as a warning sign. It can be treated with a range of therapies, including individual therapy, group therapy or medication. Women who have had postpartum depression before are more likely to experience it again. PC


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HOW TO

COPE WHEN YOUR BABY

WON’T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

There’s nothing worse than not getting enough sleep, and it’s pretty much a given in your baby’s first year. But all is not lost­. There are things you can do to ease the toll of sleep deprivation as your little one learns just how glorious sleep can be (they’ll learn eventually, don’t worry! They may be 13, but we digress). By BLAKE ELIGH

The average adult should get seven or more hours of shut-eye each night, but with wee ones in the house, that’s an unlikely scenario. On average, new parents lose a staggering 109 minutes of sleep a night in the first year after having a new baby. It’s no laughing matter, either: Every new parent has a tale of car keys mistakenly tucked into the freezer or sweaters worn to work inside-out, but fatigue is a serious issue. Fragmented rest wreaks havoc on memory,

metabolism, decision-making abilities and the ability to multitask. Studies also indicate that lack of sleep worsens the symptoms of postpartum depression in the parent who has given birth, too. Partners take a hit as well, schlepping to work every day with bags under their eyes. Who wants their dental surgeon or fork-lift driver running on a mere four hours of sleep? Or a drowsy parent behind the wheel? American

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figures estimate that there are 100,000 fatigue-related car crashes each year, resulting in 1,400 deaths. But we know, as you pace the floor at 3 a.m. with your newborn, it won’t be sleep science and stats you’re thinking about; you’ll be thinking about your pillow. No worries. We’ve got strategies to help you make it through the night.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF We know the laundry won’t do itself, and there’s a teetering stack of dishes in the sink, but get your exhausted self to bed whenever you can. This is your official pass to slack off. Take a timeout, call a friend, hang a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the front door, whatever. Catch a break whenever you can.

SHIFT WORK Split your night into four-hour time slots so you and your partner can get solid chunks of dream time. When you’re off-duty, find a dark, quiet, baby-free zone to catch some zzz’s. Turn off your phone, get yourself some blackout curtains and use a white noise machine or fan to block out ambient noise.

BE PREPARED If you must get up, keep the lights low so it’s easier to slip back into sleep after. If you’re breastfeeding, try to express milk during the day so your partner can take over a nighttime feed, too.

GET INTO TRIAL AND ERROR Everyone and their mother (and your mother, and your partner’s mother) has

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an opinion about kids and sleep (not that you asked for it). Don’t even get us started on the additional advice you’ll find on social media. Despite the competing voices, you will eventually find a solution or routine that works for you and your family. And when that solution stops working (and it will—kids are like that), you’ll find another. Just be sure that you are taking a safety-first approach: The ABCs of sleep (Alone, on their Back and in their Crib) should be a priority.

CALL IN THE PROS If nothing seems to work, consider hiring a sleep consultant or doula. They can provide a friendly ear, a shoulder to cry on and sound advice. Doulas can get you through the early days at home, but there’s a growing number of sleep consultants who can cajole night owls of all ages to sleep. Services and fees vary; a quick Google search will tell you what’s available within your budget.

WHEN IN DOUBT, REMEMBER: Your child won’t be doing this forever. By three months, 90 percent of babies are sleeping for six- to eight-hour stretches. Someday, you’ll even look back on these nights with your little one fondly. PC


WELCOME BABY

SECRETS FROM A SLEEP COACH

We all know parents who claim they had “easy sleepers”— babies who’d be put to bed in their cribs, sweetly close their eyes and quietly drift off. But here’s the truth—these tots (if they even exist) are few and far between. Those of us who’ve been there know all too well that most babies aren’t such a dream (pun intended). That’s why we asked Alanna McGinn, CEO and founder of Good Night Sleep Site, to share the top five things she wishes she could tell all new parents.

1

Take the pressure off. There is such a thing as the fourth trimester—the first three months after your baby has arrived. They suck (sorry, but it’s true!) and during this time, there are no rules. You should focus on creating a consistent sleep environment and starting a regular bedtime routine but after that, give yourself a break. There’s no sleep training at this stage. Infants aren’t biologically ready at this age to be on a consistent timeline, so stop trying to make it happen.

TIP: We can’t say it enough. Always follow the Canadian Paediatric Society’s ABCs of safe sleep. Babies should sleep alone (A), on their backs (B) and in a crib (C). Room-sharing is fine, provided your infant is in sleeping their own sleep space. Co-sleeping is not recommended.

2

Aim for a cave-like sleep environment. This means dark, quiet and cool. White noise is also an excellent way to drown out external sounds. A cool environment is also recommended, so babies don’t overheat. Layer your baby accordingly and use sleep sacks or wearable blankets instead of bedding.

3

Make sure wakeful periods aren’t too long. Babies can get overtired easily, so watch how long your infant is awake. Ideally, your little one is only up for an hour at a time. You might think this means your baby is snoozing too much, but they aren’t—sleep begets sleep, so good naps will help lead to good nights.

4

Overstimulation can be your nemesis, and it can happen without you even realizing it. Feeding a baby too much, passing around a baby too much or even looking at a baby too much can all be factors.

5

You’ll think you have it all figured out, and then something will change. This is a major truth of parenting, in all arenas. And it’s true for sleep. Your baby will learn to sleep independently, and once they have the skill, they have it. But they will continue to grow and develop and change, so you’ll have learn to make tweaks here and there. It gets better, we promise. Remember—you aren’t alone on this journey and can always reach out to your network for help. PC

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WELCOME BABY

THE

GOODS

ON

Parental leave has been around for more than 50 years but honestly, it’s not the easiest concept to grasp. That’s why we asked Allison Venditti, an HR expert and founder of Moms at Work, to explain how it works. Tip: Know your rights before you go on leave.

ParentsCanada: Why

ParentsCanada: Who’s

Allison Venditti: It’s confusing

AV: There are lots of options for how

because maternity leave can look different for each person or family. We created a free resource called myparentalleave.ca, which walks parents who feel overwhelmed or confused through their options.

you structure your leave. In 2019, the federal government introduced a new parental leave sharing benefit. A portion was named “use it or lose it” and it was meant to provide an extra five to eight weeks of leave for partners to encourage men to take time with their babies. This means parents can now share up to 40 weeks of parental benefits with the standard option, and up to 69 weeks of parental benefits with the extended option. That said, one parent cannot get more than 35 weeks of standard or 61 weeks of extended parental benefits, requiring the other parent(s) to take some time off to receive the extra weeks.

is maternity and parental leave so darn confusing?

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entitled and how long do they get?


MAT LEAVE

WELCOME BABY

ParentsCanada: What’s the deal with the “one week wait” everyone talks about?

AV: EI is a form of insurance, so the waiting period is like the deductible you pay for other types of insurance. Having a wait period allows for the payment claim to be processed, approved and started, which can sometimes take a few days.

ParentsCanada: What

rights do employees have when they’re on maternity or parental leave?

AV: Your job is protected when you’re on leave. This means you’re entitled to return to a similar position, seniority and wage as when you left. If for whatever reason your job is no longer available, or your division was closed, for example, your employer is required to offer you severance pay. You are entitled to either your job back or compensation.

Pregnancy and maternity discrimination are very real. A recent survey conducted by Moms at Work found 33 percent of respondents reported being discriminated against due to becoming or being a mother in the workplace. Sometimes you will return and be treated differently, given less responsibility or even openly discriminated against. This is illegal, and you can file a human rights complaint against a person or employer. PC

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Brought to you by

ALL-NATURAL RELIEF FOR

COLIC, TUMMY UPSET, ECZEMA AND MORE

If you’re looking for all-natural relief for what ails your baby or toddler, look no further. Dr. Chase Pediatrics has products to help with everything from colic to skin irritation. Every parent has experienced that moment of heartache when your child is uncomfortable and you feel helpless to do anything about it. It happens often in the first year, especially. Your baby is fussy and you’ve addressed every issue you can think of, and yet, nothing seems to soothe and quiet your little one. The sense of relief you feel when you find tried-and-true strategies and products to add to your parenting toolkit is so gratifying. Dr. Chase Pediatrics specializes in providing more of that comfort—for both kids and parents. With a lineup of all-natural, safe-to-administer products, Dr. Chase has been there for families for close to 100 years. Read on for more about the company and their effective, pleasant-to-take remedies for babies and toddlers, for everything from upset tummies to eczema.

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About Dr. Chase Pediatrics Alvin Wood Chase was one of the most renowned medical practitioners of the nineteenth century. At a time when medical treatment was hard to find, Dr. Chase was known for creating effective household remedies and publishing his formulas for people to create at home. It is also said that he delivered 3,000 babies during the course of his career without losing a single newborn or mother. Dr. Chase died in 1885, but his legacy lives on. The Dr. A.W. Chase Medical Company (now called Dr. Chase Pediatrics) was established in Canada in 1926; the brand is built on Dr. Chase’s reputation and research, and the company has created and marketed numerous pediatric products that Canadians have relied on for nearly a century.

Kolik Gripe Water Gripe water has been a go-to for parents since the mid-1800s. This all-natural remedy uses dill, ginger and fennel as the active ingredients to soothe the stomach discomfort of colic. It can also be used for hiccups and other causes of tummy upset. It’s available in traditional and alcohol-free solutions.

Alcohol-Free Kolik Drops These drops are formulated as a concentrated, alcohol-free solution for colic. This allnatural product contains fennel as the active ingredient, and provides convenient, quick, gentle relief for

cramping, bloating, gas and more. Like gripe water, the drops can also help to address hiccups.

X-Zema Intensive Care Balm About 10 percent of infants and children in Canada have eczema, a skin condition characterized by dry, red, itchy skin. Some kids outgrow it, but for others, it’s a lifelong challenge. Dr. Chase’s X-Zema, formulated with colloidal oatmeal and ceramides, temporarily protects your child’s delicate skin; it locks in moisture and helps to relieve minor irritation and itching from eczema and other rashes. It’s also paraben-free, fragrance-free and hypoallergenic.

Sweet Dreams Toddlers and preschoolers need anywhere from 11 to 14 hours of sleep a day but parents often hit roadblocks in the slumber department, including bedtime resistance, difficulty falling asleep and night waking. Sticking to a consistent schedule and developing a bedtime routine can go a long way toward catching zzz’s, but on especially difficult nights, Sweet Dreams can help. This pleasant-tasting formula contains chamomile and linden flower, and is proven to effectively promote a restful sleep, settle upset tummies and relieve gas pain—the latter of which can lead to difficulty sleeping. For more about the Dr. Chase Pediatrics lineup of products, including where to buy, visit DrChasePediatrics.ca. Relief for your little one (and you!) is just a click away.

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WELCOME BABY

PARENTING STYLES: A Primer We all have different approaches to how we parent our kids, but no matter how we operate, we almost certainly fall into one of four clinical approaches. Read on to learn more about the base parenting styles and their more common, modern-day offshoots. By KATIE DUPUIS In the 1960s, renowned clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three main parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative and permissive. In practice, they are just as they sound: Authoritarian parents are often overbearing and imperious; authoritative parents provide a balance between structure and independence; permissive parents provide little in the way of boundaries and guidance. In the 1980s, a fourth style—neglectful—was added by Stanford researchers Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin. In this last style, parents don’t interact much with their children at all. But these days, you rarely hear about parenting approaches in these scientific terms. Instead, you hear about parenting styles that come up in pop culture. Of course, every one of these modernday approaches fits into the researched psychology of years gone by, but no one refers to themselves or other parents on the playground as “authoritative” or “permissive.” You will almost certainly, however, meet proud tiger moms and anxious helicopter dads. So, we’ve

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decided to give you a rundown on the most common buzzword parenting styles, to help you better understand all of the parents you’ll meet in the wild.

FREE-RANGE PARENTING The term free-range parenting was coined by writer Lenore Skenanzy in 2008. Skenanzy wrote an article entitled, “Why I Let My Nine-Year-Old Son Take the Subway Alone” and received national attention, both good and bad, for her decision. Free-range parenting is focused on raising independent, selfreliant kids who explore, take risks and make decisions for themselves from a young age. Allowing kids to make and learn from mistakes is also a hallmark of this approach.

HELICOPTER PARENTING It could be argued that helicopter parenting is the opposite of freerange. The term “helicopter parent” was first used by Dr. Haim Ginott, in his 1969 book, Between Parent and Teenager. Helicopter parents are extremely overprotective and involved (sometimes too involved!). They monitor their child


WELCOME BABY

closely, from their relationships to their activities. Though the parent’s behaviour comes from a desire for their child to be safe and to succeed, kids can feel smothered and stunted.

and Protection with Trust. Lighthouse parenting is a balanced approach that merges independence with guidance. Parents act as a beacon (hence the name) offering support and advice, but ultimately kids are given the freedom to navigate their own paths and make their own decisions.

TIGER PARENTING MINDFUL PARENTING This concept was first introduced in 1997 by professor and meditation and stress expert Jon Kabat-Zinn. Parents who practice the mindful approach focus on being fully present in their child’s life, prioritizing understanding and communication. Mindful parents aim to promote a calm and emotionally intelligent family environment. It does require a high level of self-awareness, though, which isn’t always possible depending on how parents were raised themselves.

ATTACHMENT PARENTING Attachment parenting as a term was first introduced in 1985 but many of its tenets date back decades before. Those who follow this approach believe that secure attachments in infancy can lead to strong bonds between parents and children as they grow, and that these kids will develop into confident and empathetic individuals. This style often involves things like co-sleeping, babywearing and responsive caregiving.

LIGHTHOUSE PARENTING This term was introduced in 2015, by pediatrician Kenneth Ginsburg, in his book Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love with Expectations

Perhaps the most famous of the modern parenting styles, this idea was introduced in 2011 by Yale professor Amy Chua in her book, Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Tiger parents are extremely invested in the success of their children, setting strict standards and rigorous routines. Children raised by tiger parents are often pushed to excel academically, as well as in high-status extracurricular activities. Other notable parenting styles include gender-neutral parenting (where children are raised to look beyond gender stereotypes as they explore the world); eco-conscious parenting (where families place a high value on being eco-friendly, as well as teaching kids about environmental impact); and tech-savvy parents (those who embrace that their children are digital natives and use technology to enhance their child’s upbringing). It can be argued that many parents don’t fall into one, definitive category and instead take bits and pieces from different philosophies. And you don’t have to stay in one lane, either. If you find yourself veering too much into a negative approach, change course. Or if your kids need a new approach to thrive, take their cue. It’s all trial and error, and no has all the answers. PC

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Brought to you by

EGGS 101:

EVERYTHING YOU

NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS KITCHEN STAPLE

Eggs are versatile, quick and easy to prepare, on top of being full of nutritional benefits. Read on for more about this mealtime superhero. Nearly every culture around the world makes egg-based dishes as part of their food traditions. From steamed egg custard in China and tamagoyaki in Japan, to scotch eggs in the United Kingdom or pasta carbonara in Italy, eggs are a vital part of the global food experience—and for good reason. They are economical, easy to prepare and full of the good stuff kids and families need. We’ve got the lowdown on this mealtime staple, in case you need any convincing that you should add them to your grocery list every week.

Packing a protein punch Did you know that just one large egg provides 6.5 grams of high-quality protein? Given that kids need between

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13 and 52 grams of protein a day, depending on their age, one single egg makes a pretty decent dent in their daily total. (The average adult needs between


46 and 56+ grams per day.) Keep in mind that the yolk is essential—almost half of the protein, all of the healthy fats and many of the micronutrients are included in the golden centre.

TIP:

If you have a kiddo who always seems to be hungry, including nutrient-dense, protein-rich foods like eggs at meals and snacks can help to keep these seemingly bottomless tummies satisfied throughout the day.

Debunking the cholesterol myth Back in the 1980s, it was believed that too much cholesterol could have a negative impact on your heart health, among other things. And since eggs are high in cholesterol, they were painted with a negative brush. In more recent years, however, research has shown that cholesterol from foods (dietary cholesterol) has very little impact on your blood cholesterol. So what does this mean? It means you can enjoy eggs whenever you want! In addition to being an excellent source of protein, they also contain essential vitamins and minerals, including vitamins A, D, E, choline, iron and folate. Eggs are also one of the only foods that naturally contain vitamin D, which is key for healthy bones and teeth and may protect against certain cancers and autoimmune

diseases. Two large eggs provide 1.6 micrograms of vitamin D, which is good news for us in Canada where our short winter days mean we get less of the “sunshine vitamin.”

Perfect for plant-forward diets If your family focuses on eating plantbased whenever you can, eggs are a great way to ensure you’re getting enough protein. In fact, when eaten together, the fats from eggs will actually help the body to better absorb the carotenoids found in brightly coloured raw fruits and veggies like spinach, kale, corn, bell peppers, tomatoes, watermelon, grapefruit, carrots and more. By the way, speaking of colours—there is no nutritional difference between brown and white eggs. White eggs come from white hens and brown eggs come from brown hens.

Egg farmers from coast to coast There are more than 1200 egg farmers across the country producing more than 789 million dozen eggs annually.1 That’s a lot of omelettes! Eggs that you find in your local grocery store come from Canadian egg farmers—a fact that is important to the 93% of Canadians who want their meat, dairy, eggs and produce to come from Canada. 2 1 2

Egg Farmers of Canada, January 2021 Environics Analytics, October 2020

For more information and for delicious egg recipes, visit eggs.ca.

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WELCOME BABY

RETHINKING

Work -Life BALANCE By JANE BRADLEY

Work-life balance has become quite the catchphrase, especially among working parents. But is it achievable? Can we leave work stress at work and be more present with our families? It’s a nice thought. The thing is, it’s easier said than done.

We all love to follow rules like drinking eight glasses of water a day or walking 10,000 steps. If we follow these rules, we feel accomplished. Better about ourselves. Parenting is no different. The rules of being a parent are vast, always evolving, fluid and often impossible to achieve. Part of the problem is adding the often-touted

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WELCOME BABY

work-life balance rule to the mix. But I call BS. People don’t need another rule to make them feel less-than. Work-life balance comes from a good place. When Lillian Moller Gilbreth introduced the term back in the 1920s, it was to help women who were working long hours in factories. It gained popularity in the ’80s with the women’s liberation movement advocating for more flexible schedules and maternity leave. It has since morphed again, but this time it seems to have become yet another perfection clause women must strive to meet.

You’ll know when you have reached burnout—it’s when you need a break from your work, boss, kids, partner, parents, in-laws and even friends. You’ll be angry, moody, tough on yourself and snappy with your family. (This is when you lose it over tiny things, like socks on the floor or having to listen to “Baby Shark” for millionth time.) It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that you may have work-life imbalance. That’s when you should hit the proverbial snooze button and recharge. And I will not patronize you by telling you to take a hot bath, read a good book or meditate. You do you.

In 2023, I would like to think the term can evolve further. Instead of becoming another thing to make us feel like we’re failing, my wish is that it becomes a check-in with ourselves, to make sure work and life aren’t making us feel like we’re spread too thin. It shouldn’t be about trying to maintain a consistent 50/50 balance. As a mom to two boys all grown up, consider me your wise sage in this arena and take my advice: Embrace the term, but with a refreshed, me-first perspective versus panicking because you are spending too much time at your job and not enough time with your family. Sometimes a deadline needs your full attention. Other times a sick kiddo demands all of you and work takes a backseat. Shit happens and, to me, it’s all about triage: React to the pot that is about to boil over and try not to feel bad about it.

Bottom line from someone who has been there: Ignore the imperfect worklife balance ratio and instead, check in with yourself and ask for help when you need it. Don’t make it a rule you have to stretch yourself even thinner to abide by. After all, you already have to drink eight glasses of water a day. PC

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5

QUESTIONS YOU MAY NOT THINK TO ASK DAYCARE

PROVIDERS

3

Daycare is a fraught issue for most families. In addition to the expense, finding daycare can feel like a full time job. So many people end up taking the “more is more” approach and getting on as many waitlists as possible. If you’re deep in the daycare dilemma, you probably already have a set list of questions you’re asking, but consider adding these lesser-considered queries to your conversations.

What is the policy for sickness? The majority of daycares will require 24 hours without fever or other symptoms before a child is allowed to return to daycare programming.

4

1

Can my baby nap on their own schedule, or do they have to adjust to the centre’s schedule?

Some smaller daycares will take cues from your baby and put them down for a nap when they’re tired, but others will want your little one to adjust to the centre’s routine. If the latter, ask for a copy of the daily schedule so you can be sure you’re okay with naptimes and work to get your babe on the same schedule before starting daycare.

Will I get a report on my child’s sleep and meals each day? Some daycares generate a report recalling a child’s day, which can be helpful for parents for navigating dinner and bedtime.

5

2

What is the fee schedule? Some daycares allow you to pay once a month, usually at the beginning of the month, while others want to be paid weekly or bi-weekly.

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Are stat holidays and any other vacations taken into consideration for fees? Most daycares bill the same amount month over month, regardless of whether or not there is a statutory holiday or other vacation closure. If you remove your child from daycare for any extended reason—family vacation, illness, bereavement, etc.—it’s likely that you will need to continue to pay the fee in order to hold their spot. But some daycares have policies to allow for a pause in emergencies, so it’s worth asking. PC


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