The Power of Words fall issue 2014
A product of Pure Design Ministries
What’s inside? 3 fall fun 5team! 7 stick and stones 9 DIY 13space 15artisans 17 meet the
my
local
23
pure design guy
self harm: a reality for many teens
27plaid perspectives 41 not measuring up
PureDesignTeenMag
PureDesignTeenMag
PureDesignMag
@PureDesignMag
www.PureDesignTeenmag.com
WHO WE ARE Pure Design Magazine was launched in 2012 as a free online teen girls’ magazine. The publication is “for teens by teens” and every quarter, passionate students come together with their mentors to produce a magazine that will inspire their peers in purity, modesty, faith, self-image and self-worth. Through mentoring articles and stories of real-life teenagers, plus top-notch fashion spreads, Pure Design Magazine is motivating young women to evaluate the choices they make and the influences they look to!
PAM & CAEILEN LOZANO
HOW WE STARTED Pure Design Magazine was started by a mother-daughter team Pam and Caeilen Lozano as a vehicle to impact young women. Without prior experience in publishing, they stepped out in faith on a journey to inspire and encourage teen girls. Merging their gifts for writing and fashion, the Lozanos recruited several designers and photographers to volunteer their time. Together, they have led their team in creating an outstanding magazine to motivate teenage girls. PURE DESIGN TEAM
In a world that says you must look a certain way to be beautiful and role models are stick thin, Pure Design Magazine encourages girls that beauty comes from within and is a quality we all possess. Pure Design Magazine is a positive voice of truth to a rising generation of women, encouraging them to embrace who God made them to be and walk in confidence. Tackling real-life issues like depression, suicide, eating disorders and family matters from a Biblical perspective sets Pure Design Magazine apart from other publications that solely focus on beauty and fashion. When a young woman picks up this magazine, she will be challenged to look at every aspect of her life from God’s point of view.
HOW YOU CAn HElP Currently, Pure Design Magazine is a free publication available only online. We are exploring opportunities to move to a print format as well, while still offering the magazine at no-cost. To support this effort, you can partner with us financially in one of two ways. Contributions may be tax-deductible.
Pure Design Sponsors: Sponsors receive ad space in the magazine. Various sponsor levels are available, starting as low as $100. Email pam@puredesignministries. com for more detailed information.
Pure Design Partners: Give monthly or one-time to support the magazine’s ongoing needs. See Partner Card for details.
FOR mORE inFORmATiOn, EmAil: pam@puredesignministries.com.
FALL Fun
September
Hispanic Heritage Month 1 – Labor Day 2- Newspaper Carrier Day 5- Cheese Pizza Day 7 – Grandparent’s Day 8- International Literacy Day 9- Teddy Bear Day 11 – 9/11 Remembrance 13- Fortune Cookie Day 15- Make A Hat Day 16- National Play Doh Day 17-National Apple Dumpling Day 18- National Cheeseburger Day 19- National Butterscotch Pudding Day 21 – International Peace Day 22- Business Women Day 23- Checkers Day 27- International Rabbit Day 28- Caeilen’s Birthday
October
Breast Cancer Awareness Month 1-World Vegetarian Day 2- Name Your Car Day 3-Techies Day 4- National Golf Day 5- World Teacher’s Day 6- Mad Hatter’s Day 7- Paige’s Birthday 9- Fire Prevention Day 11- Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day 12- Old Farmer’s Day 16- Bosses Day 17- Wear Something Gaudy Day 18- No Beard Day 19- Evaluate Your Life Day 21- Babbling Day 24- United Nation’s Day 25- Make a Difference Day 26- Mother-In-Law Day 28-Plush Animal Lover’s Day 30- National Candy Corn Day 31- Halloween
November
National Adoption Awareness Month 1- Book Lover’s Day 2- Deviled Egg Day 3- Sandwich Day 6- Saxophone Day 8- Cook Something Bold Day 10-Forget-Me-Not Day 11- Veteran’s Day 11- Young Reader’s Day 12-Chicken Soup for the Soul Day 13- World Kindness Day 15-Clean Your Refrigerator Day 17- World Peace Day 20- Universal Children’s Day 21- World ‘Hello’ Day 22- National Adoption Day 23-Eat a Cranberry Day 25-National Parfait Day 27- Thanksgiving 28- You’re Welcome Day 29- Square Dance Day 30- Stay at Home Day
P
P Dear Designers!
Autumn is upon us. It truly is one of the prettiest seasons here in the Midwest! I so enjoy long walks in the crisp evenings wrapped in my favorite bulky sweater! Fall is filled with vibrant colors, bonfires, hayrides and so many other fun activities. Along with that comes a regular routine as school is back in session and preparation for the holidays even comes to mind. I imagine for teen girls there is an excitement that comes with a new school year along with some apprehension of the unknowns. Will your friendships stay intact? Will your boyfriend remain loyal? Will you get that invitation to homecoming? Can you keep your grades up in the midst of all that’s going on in life? What about the stress at home? Life really is full of hard things. In this issue we want to talk about “The Power of our Words”. Words affect our lives both positively and negatively. Often words can change the course of someone’s life. Words can bring life, joy and inspiration to our hearts. Words can create dreams and motivate us to go after the things we desire to become OR words can tear us down bringing hopelessness, anxiety and fear. Words can render us powerless, imprisoning us to someone else’s opinion or desires.
Pam Lozano executive director
Favorite worship song currently: Oceans (Where my Feet may Fall) by Hillsong United
Favorite book this season: Just Lead! by Sherry Surratt and Jenni Catron
Rarely do we talk about issues such as verbal abuse or bullying and the affects they can have on our lives. We read stories of teens committing suicide because of things that were verbally said to them or about them. Often we are witness to forms of abuse whether we realize it or not. We tend to label only “the really bad” forms of it when we see a child being chewed out by an angry parent, or we overhear a powerful exchange of words putting someone down. Cyber-bullying is another form of abuse growing by leaps and bounds. People post hateful words on the internet about friends – whether they are true or not.
Favorite summer outfit:
Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death...” if we believe the Bible to be true, then we must be careful what we say to those around us. Often we open our mouths and speak without thinking... how dangerous this can be.
Favorite Bible verse currently:
We hope through this issue, you are not only cautioned to think before you speak, but if you are a victim of verbal abuse or bullying that you will seek out help. Often girls do not seek out help because they either blame themselves or don’t want to get someone in trouble. SEEK HELP and look for ways to get on a path of healing – whether through professional counseling, talking with a pastor, or telling a friend. Allow this issue to push you to get the help you need. With this issue, Pure Design Magazine celebrates 2 full years of publication! Thank you for your support, encouragement and followership. We hope you will continue to read our publication and pass it on to many other family and friends! Affirming His Design,
Pamela Lozano Founder/Executive Director
A comfy pair of skinny jeans, a colorful shirt and cardigan and a pair of comfortanble high heeled shoes (short people depend on heels!)
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Pure Design team Maddie thriftaholic, master crafter
Kate art appreciator, fitness buff
Paige writer, social media expert
Caeilen fashion guru
Ruth photo director
Avery photo director, assistant
Naomi writer, social media extraordinaire
Hannah photographer, design apprentice
Pam founder, executive director
Gabby photo shoot hair stylist
Ashley designer, editor
Nicole publicist, events coordinator
Carrie editor, designer
Katelin media enthusiast
Natalie marketing director, copy editor
Morgan editor, designer
Sarah editor, designer
Kerry creative writer
Sophia photographer, editor, designer
Sticks and
Stones By: Pam Lozano
Stupid!
Lousy!
Whore!
Scumbag!
(And many, many other colorful words could be used to start this article). Very often we don’t think about the words that leave our mouths and enter into someone else’s heart. We speak without thinking. We talk without caring who hears, and often we do not weigh out the power or the affects our words have on those listening. As Americans, we “exercise our rights” of freedom of speech – saying whatever we feel, whenever we like, however we want. Words enter our minds and spew off our tongue in anger, jest or cynicism. Rarely do we stop and think what those around us feel or hear as the words enter the atmosphere. “Did the words I just said harm someone?” Social media has created an entirely new platform to vent or voice our opinions. We post our political views, spiritual views, our angst or feuds. We enter in on conversations of gossip or slander about a relative or neighbor feeling we have every right and freedom to do so. Cyber-bullying is a past time for some teens as they criticize and slander classmates about physical appearance or social skills; and while measures are being taken to help alleviate these problems, teen suicides continue to rise and families are relocating due to pressures of untruths being spoken on the internet. Words have power! Words have started wars, fueled racism, expanded prejudices, and stolen hope. Why and how can something that someone says have so much affect on us? As children we learn the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me”. But
as we grow up we realize that this saying is so far from the truth and words harm and hurt us in more powerful ways than sticks or stones ever could. It doesn’t take much effort at all to recall a time in life when you were picked on, teased, told you were no good, or that you would never amount to anything. The effects of those words lodge in our emotions so deeply; we often become paralyzed not knowing how to move past what was said to us. Counselors, teachers, pastors and parents can try to encourage us in the opposite direction, but until we embrace truth about ourselves and move past caring what others think, we are often stuck hearing those phrases over and over inside our heads.
“I have a dream” speech changed the course of history for black people in our nation to have opportunities and freedoms never available to them before. Women rose up and spoke out for rights to vote, giving them a voice in our nation as well. Presidents and valedictorians give speeches to inspire, encourage and provoke people to dream dreams and chase after things they are passionate about. Teachers give confidence to students enabling them to see endless opportunities for career choices. Spoken encouragement brings hope, healing and restoration. Words of confession bring relief and reconciliation to broken relationships. “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?” is one of the most powerful phrases on the planet. Admission when you are wrong and asking for forgiveness allows a fresh start when things have gone wrong.
“The tongue has the power of life and death.”
Even now as an adult, I can easily recall a time in elementary school when a boy would tease me every day on the bus. He made fun of my nose both publically and privately. He would harass me every day asking me if I had broken my nose laughing because I had a slight bump on the bridge of it. I became very embarrassed of my nose and self conscious of how I looked. I went through a season of being very insecure about it. I often felt ugly around other girls – all because this young boy made fun of my nose. He would tease until tears came streaming down my face. I can still hear his words and other kids joining in and laughing with him to make me feel embarrassed. I’m sure many of you have similar stories or experiences.
Complimenting the way someone looks or something they have done does so much good. As women and girls we often compete with one another, trying to outdo the other in looks or skills. What if we instead, embraced our own gifts and encouraged others in theirs? Telling a friend she looks nice doesn’t demean how you look, but it builds her self esteem and extends kindness toward another human being.
Proverbs says that the power of life and death are in the tongue. That’s a pretty heavy statement. Life and death – really? If the words we say literally have life and death in them, we’d better be careful what comes out when we open our mouths.
Words have power and we must choose how we are going to use them! Will we use our words to bless, encourage and inspire others and ourselves? Or will we enter into cursing, degrading, demeaning, gossip and slandering others? The choice is ours to make. Habits are formed by the choices we make day by day, week by week and month by month.
On the flip side, life-giving words have power too! Historical speeches, words of encouragement or compliments have a powerful positive effect. Martin Luther’s
YOU have the power to choose your words carefully. May we truly learn to think before we speak so that the words that leave our mouths are words of life, not death!
DIY Craft:
Painting Shoes Supplies you will need: • Plain canvas shoes (TOMS, Keds, Converse all work beautifully) • Acrylic paint • Small tip paint brushes (varying hardness) The color of paint you should use depends on the color of the shoes. White typically doesn’t show up well on lighter colored shoes, while it looks great on navy or black shoes. You will want small paint brushes for detail - harder tips are better for writing and small detail, while soft brushes are better for filling in large spaces with color. The design is up to you - whether you want a fun geometric pattern, girly polka dots, or your favorite bible verse - have fun and be creative! The more personality you put into the shoes, the more unique they’ll be. Have fun and happy painting!
September: Week 1 – September 1-7 – God’s Peace & Rest Read Psalm 23: 1-6 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below:
Fall Devo Guide Staying
on
track
with
personal
Monday – verse 1: What does “the Lord is my shepherd” mean to you? Tuesday – verse 2: What does verse 2 mean to you personally? Wednesday – verse 3: How does God refresh your soul? Thursday – verse 4: What dark valley are you facing now or have you ever faced in your life? Friday – verse 5: How does this verse apply to you? (You may need to Google other versions.) Saturday – verse 6: What good things are you thankful for today? Sunday: What did you learn from reading this portion of Psalm 23 this week?
Week 2 – September 8-14 - Do Not Worry! Read Matthew 7:25-34 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 25: What things do you tend to worry about in your own life? Tuesday – verses 26-28: How can looking at creation cause you to worry less about your life? Wednesday – verse 29-30: How can you trust that God desires to care for your personal needs? Thursday – verses 31-32: Do you truly believe God knows your needs? If so, then why still worry? Friday – verse 33: How can you personally put God’s kingdom first in your life? Saturday – verse 34: How can you take the concerns of tomorrow and turn them over to God? Sunday: What did you learn from reading this scripture this week?
devotions can be tough if you don’t know what to read or what to study.
Week 3 – September 15-21 - Be Salt & Light
Here are a few scriptures to meditate
Read Matthew 5:13-16 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below:
on each day through the fall to
Monday – verse 13: What does it mean to be salt of the earth? Tuesday – verse 14: How you can you be a light in your world today? Wednesday – verse 15: Do you ever hide the fact that you are a Christian? If so, why? Thursday – verse 16: How can you be a witness to others through your actions today? Friday: Why do you think Jesus used salt and light as an analogy in this scripture? Saturday: Which verse challenges you the most this week and why? Sunday: What can you do to grow in your witness to others around you?
encourage your heart and inspire your day. We encourage you to write out answers in a journal as God speaks to you. We pray it helps you throughout your school and work days! Read the passages below every day of the week for a full week – each day focusing on a specific verse and the
Week 4 – September 22-28 – Listen & Do!
question listed below.
Read James 1:19-25 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 19-20: Which of the three is hardest for you and why? Tuesday – verse 21: What does this verse mean to you? Reword it so it makes sense to you. Wednesday – verse 22: What scriptures do you know but don’t truly follow? Thursday – verse 23-24: What do you think these two scriptures mean? Friday – verse 25: How does meditating on scripture and reading the word bring you freedom? Saturday: Do you think you are a listener or doer of the Word? Why? Sunday: How can you grow in your “doing” of the Word? Continued on next page.
October: Week 5 – September 29-October 5 – Fearfully & Wonderfully Made! Read Psalm 139:13-17 every day this week. below:
Each day focus on the verses listed
Monday – verse 13: Do you believe you were created & knit together by God? Why/Why not? Tuesday – verse 14: Do you truly believe you were fearfully & wonderfully made? Why/Why not? Wednesday – verse 15: What do you imagine the secret place & depths of the earth to be? Thursday – verse 16: Do you believe your days are ordained? If so, how does that make you live? Friday – verse 17: Can you imagine the sum of God’s thoughts? What do you think God thinks on? Saturday: Which verse spoke to you the most this week? Why? Sunday: How does this part of scripture help you think about yourself?
Week 6 – October 6-12 – For Such a Time as This! Read Esther 4:12-16 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday verses 12-13: Why does Mordecai remind Esther that she will not escape death? Tuesday – verse 14: How can you relate to the phrase “For Such a Time as This” in your own life? Wednesday – verse 15-16: Why is fasting a necessary part of prayer & intercession? Thursday – verses 15-16 again: Have you ever fasted & prayed for something? If so what? If not, why not? Friday – verse 16: How does Esther’s response – “And if I perish, I perish” challenge you? Saturday: What lesson can you learn from this portion of Esther’s story? Sunday: How does it challenge you in your own walk/relationship with God?
Week 7 – October 13-19 – Seek Wisdom! Read Proverbs 2:1-6 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 1-2: What do these verses say to you? Tuesday – verse 3: In what area of your life do you need insight and/or understanding right now? Wednesday – verse 4: How can you personally seek out the wisdom and insight you need? Thursday – verse 5: What does the phrase “the fear of the Lord” mean to you? Friday – verse 6: How can you personally gain wisdom, knowledge and understanding from God? Saturday: When you are looking for wisdom, what source other than God do you tend to turn to? Sunday: How can you focus your heart to begin to seek God first for wisdom & understanding?
Week 8 – October 20-26 – The Greatest Commandment Read Matthew 5:34-40 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verses 34-36: Why did the Pharisees asked Jesus about the greatest commandment? Tuesday – verses 37: If you truly would do this verse, what would it look like in your own life? Wednesday – verse 38-39: What does love your neighbor as yourself mean? Thursday – verse 38-39: In what ways can you love people around you? Friday – verse 39: Who is God challenging you to love right now? Saturday: How can you love God with all of you? Sunday: Does this passage scare you or challenge you? Why?
November: Week 9 – October 27-November 2 – Be Courageous! Read Joshua 1:5-9 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 5: How does this verse encourage you? Tuesday – verse 6: How can you apply this verse to your own life today? Wednesday – verse 7: How does obedience of God’s word lead to success? Thursday – verse 8: What scriptures do you meditate on day and night to help you? Friday – verse 9: What things are you afraid or discouraged about currently? Saturday: How does this scripture challenge you? Sunday: In what area of your life do you need more courage?
Week 10 – November 3-9 –God’s Love Read I John 4:15-21 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verses 15-16: Do you really believe God lives inside of us as believers? Why/why not? Tuesday – verse 17: How can you be like Jesus in the world today? Wednesday – verse 18: Rewrite and explain this verse in your own words. Thursday – verses 19-20: Is there anyone you currently hate or are angry towards? If so, why and how can you deal with it? Friday – verse 21: How could you show love towards the person you are angry with? Saturday: What can you learn from this passage? Sunday: How does this passage challenge you?
Week 11 – November 10-16 – Desiring God Read Psalm 42:1-5 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 1: How does this verse speak to you? Tuesday – verse 2: Are you thirsty for God? If yes, explain. If not, do you know why not? Wednesday – verse 3: What do you think the Psalmist means here? Thursday – verse 4: What things do you currently need to pour out before God? Friday – verse 5: What do you need to believe God for or hope in for your future or life currently? Saturday: What can you learn from reading this passage? Sunday: How can you help increase your own personal desire for God?
Week 12 – November 17-23 – Abiding in the Vine Read John 15:5-9 every day this week. Each day focus on the verses listed below: Monday – verse 5: How can you remain in Christ on a daily basis? Tuesday – verse 6: How have you “withered” in seasons of separation from Christ? Wednesday – verse 7: What do you think this verse really means? Thursday – verse 8: What does bearing spiritual fruit look like in your own life? Friday – verse 9: How can you remain in God’s love? Saturday: How can you take this analogy and apply it practically to your own life? Sunday: In what ways are you challenged to abide in God more?
About Her
Naomi Naomi is a 17 year old senior in high school. She spends most of her time with her friends or making music. She is also a swimmer and is involved in her youth group. Her dreams include being a music teacher and traveling around the world. Check out her space!
Hannah
Hannah a senior at Olentangy Orange High School. She is very involved in the arts, mostly photography and theater where she has helped design sets and loves working behind the scenes. Ever since she can remember art has been one of her favorite activities.
Local Artisans
Sara Sara Frederick is 17 years old and will be a senior at Centerburg High School this year. Like most teens, she loves to listen to music and hangout with friends but art has always been a huge part of her life. Apart from art she enjoys riding horses, reading and nature.
A Reality for Many Teens By Tesslynn Fama
Disclaimer: This article is a true story written by a teenage girl struggling with cutting. Please be aware it is a bit graphic in nature. We know many girls participate in self harm or have friends who do. Our desire in publishing this is to bring the issue to light in the hopes of helping those in need.
really messed up!” And since I couldn’t fix it, I began to harbor guilt. The guilt led to a fury of emotions— rage consumed me. The guilt and fear swallowed me and I was so outraged that my sight actually became slightly impaired. This incident led to a method of cutting for the next four years. In this state of mind I had a hard time
Are you a cutter or ex cutter? Perhaps you know someone
focusing and soon trained myself to go straight for a blade
who is? Or maybe you are an innocent bystander silently
when rage took over. In a fury of anger, pain and isolation,
screaming for answers? Well, if you fall into any of these
I would rush to my room, grab a blade and repeatedly lash
categories, please keep reading. What I am about to share
out on my arm, shoulder or leg. After about five cuts I would
isn’t pretty or easy to handle and can be a little graphic (Note:
calm down and continue cutting for a minute or two more. It
These are actual pictures of me. I apologize in advance.) But
always amazed me how quickly I would relax after cutting.
I really desire to help those in need.
One moment I was so full of fiery hate that I could not see and the next I was sniffling on my bed as the blood drained
My name is Tesslynn and I am a retired cutter after four years.
from my arms.
According to Doctor Stocks, I “started young.” I was fourteen years old when I first broke my skin with a piece of broken
My urge to cut occurred in episodes. I first tried to stop
glass. The cut was about as long as your pinky nail. My initial
cutting at the age of fifteen, but I was already hooked. I set
source of anger and fury was rage against myself. Everyone
my blade down for a couple of weeks which seemed to work
makes mistakes, I know, but I started telling myself, “Hey you
until I hit a moment when even a little rage reignited the need
April when I did, I cut over 200 times. Dumping him broke off a major weight I had not known was looming over me. So that’s depressing! But how and why did I stop? I had a support group of friends. My two closest friends, Shaemus and C-Top (these are nicknames) were two of the only people who knew I was a cutter. Both of them had been cutters in the past or knew other cutters so I was hopeful they could help me. But like my late father
When I finally committed to stopping I had cut over 700 hundred times; most within the past year alone. to cut again. I went flying back to the blade. Every time I cut, the number
always used to say
of lashes grew. It began with 7 to 10
“No one ever changes
cuts an episode, but by my eighteenth
until the pain of staying
birthday, I was cutting 75 to 100 cuts
the same outweighs the
per episode. Crazy...right?
When I
pain of change.”
finally committed to stopping I had cut over 700 hundred times; most
A
within the past year alone.
day
or
two
before
breaking up, I coated my arms in cuts. After that I met C-Top in
So why cut? As I mentioned, I had
person for the first time. We had
a lot of guilt and anger in my life.
been long distance online friends
There seemed to be a constant storm
for four years. From this point my
brewing. I needed calm in my storm.
life changed. Only a few people
I began dating guys who seemed to provide that. They
had ever seen the cuts and scars, but C-Top knew me on the
started out sweet, gentle and polite; I trusted them. After a
inside from all I had shared online. I watched him examine my
little while they starting becoming controlling. It was hard
arm. Here, my best friend who had sat up with me on several
to disobey them as part of me felt like I needed to listen to
occasions talking me out of suicide, cutting or allowing me
show my love. Then things became worse and abusive. When
to be walked all over was standing there holding my arm and
abuse occurs, you begin to think it’s alright and that you
crying. I had never used cutting to gain attention so I was
deserve it. I thought maybe these guys were like a fire that
completely taken back by his actions. He proceeded to wrap
would refine me, but what I learned was only God does that.
my arm and took several deep breaths. I knew then that it
I was only sixteen in my first abusive relationship and my
was time for me to change. After a month without cutting,
urge to cut increased. When I turned seventeen I entered my
I posted about it on Facebook hoping that coming out into
second abusive dating relationship.
the open would help me grow stronger. Everyone reacted
Both of these
relationships brought emotional and mental abuse. By my
positively and I could not be more blessed!
second relationship, I was cutting 50-75 cuts per episode. I finally broke away from this relationship this past April.
C-Top and Shaemus still walk this road with me every day
Between January when I wanted to break up with him and
and sometimes it’s incredibly hard to not cut, but I am Continued on next page.
In all this, I am learning that God is approachable...I turn to Him to express myself. He is not taken back by my anger or rage. He can handle anything I throw at Him... learning how to resist it. I avoid staying up late because I used
In all this, I am learning that God is approachable. Now that
to cut at night. I have matched schedules with my friends so
I have stopped cutting, I turn to Him to express myself. He is
I would sleep and wake up with them, avoiding being alone
not taken back by my anger or rage. He can handle anything
during these changing moments in my life. I put my blades
I throw at Him, so I often let loose then calm down. There are
in a sealed pouch--the only reason I did not throw them away
no secret formulas to stop cutting, but if you set your mind to
was because C-Top has promised to melt them into a ring for
it and cling to close friends and the Lord, you can do it.
me when I stop cutting.
In conclusion, Tesslynn, like many young teen girls, has grown
in Christ is key to beginning to become whole. There are
up in the church and been involved in her youth group. She
numerous organizations available to help you. Do not let
has been raised in a Christian home and is following Jesus
shame or finances keep you from seeking out the help you
Christ. Leaders around her are encouraging her in her process
need.
of healing. Many Christian young women struggle through abusive relationships while following God, yet feel ashamed
One organization we are relationally connected to through a
or afraid to admit they need help. You assume as a Christian,
team member is a non-profit organization called: Assert Now
“you should be able to handle it” because you read the Bible
located in Beavercreek, Ohio. Their mission is to empower
and go to church. This isn’t always the case.
people through education and awareness, to prevent social injustice. If you are in need of help and don’t know where
We want to encourage any of you reading this article dealing
to turn, look up their website and contact their staff at:
with self harm issues. Seek out help! Do not try to do this
www.assertnow.org.
on your own. Tell your friends and family members who love and care for you so they can support and encourage
Our staff and team are committed to helping you as well.
you. Also, do not be afraid to seek out help from pastors or
You can always private message us on Facebook or email our
professional counselors who can get you onto a path of
Executive Director, Pam at pam@puredesignministries.org.
healing. Jesus is the only source of complete healing and
Pam has been a youth pastor for over 16 years and loves
restoration in an abusive situation. Finding your identity
helping young women!
Team Playlist
Take a peek at our team’s favorite worship or uplifting songs right now… hope these will inspire you to try some new artists in your own time of worship!
Pam Nothing I hold On To Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band Sophia Oh Lord You’re Beautiful Jesus Culture Morgan How He Loves John Mark McMillan Kerry You’re Beautiful Phil Wickham Carrie Brave Sarah Bareilles Sarah Love is Strong Jon Foreman Natalie This is Amazing Grace Phil Wickham Ashley What I’ve Overcome Fireflight Maddie Lockstep Will Reagan & United Pursuit Band
Avery Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Hillsong United Ruth Build your Kingdom Here The Rend Collective Experiment Caeilen He is Like Tim Cones & Joy Maves Kate All I Need is You Hillsong United Hannah All of Creation Mercy Me Katelin How He Loves The David Crowder Band Naomi Movements Rend Collection Experiment Gabrielle Hungy (Falling on My Knees) Mercy Me Paige You are My Vision Rend Collection Experiment
21 Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose. Proverbs 18:21
GUY Corbin Binkley
Words between genders can sometimes mean different things. Often communication between teen guys and girls can be difficult because of misinterpretation of what the other gender is saying or trying to say. Verbal communication and non-verbal communication are equally important when talking to each other. We thought we’d ask Corbin some questions in regard to communicating with girls his age to get his view.
Bio: Corbin Binkley is a junior at Hayes High School in Delaware, Ohio. He has many hobbies including: long boarding, fishing, camping, running, and playing with fire. Here is a picture of him when he got his temps this year!
PD: Do you think there is often a “communication gap” between teen guys and girls? Why/Why not? PD: Do you find it easy or hard to talk with girls your age? Why/Why not? CB: Personally, I do not find it difficult to talk to girls my age. I think it’s because I have two sisters and no brothers so I grew up surrounded by women. Also I am friends with as many girls as I am guys. Because of that, I am perfectly comfortable with talking to any girl.
CB: I believe that sometimes with middle and high schoolers there can be a communication gap. I think this is so because at this age guys and girls are going through a lot mentally and physically. They’re moving up at school, taking on new responsibilities and have to deal with awkward hormonal changes. When you combine all of these factors there can easily be a communication gap.
Pure Design Guy is an article we will feature in various issues to gain a “guy’s perspective” on current topics that relate to teen girls. We will typically choose a teen guy that is a friend of one of the team members and ask him several questions that can be helpful to high school girls. The team would love to hear from you, our readers, for questions and topics you might want to see in guture issues of Pure Design. Simply submit your thoughts by email at pam@puredesignministries.com or leave us a FB message on our Pure Design Teen Mag. Facebook Page.
Q& A
PD: Body language is a big part of communication. Girls tend to be more demonstrative in talking – why do you think that is? CB: I think girls do more reading and communicating via body language than guys because it’s how they are wired. Guys and girls are just wired differently from each other. I also believe that girls are better than guys at showing how they feel. Guys are often too prideful to show emotion.
PD: Why do you think teen girls tend to take things guys say to them so personally?? CB: I think teen girls take things guys say personally because they are at different stages of maturity than guys. Honestly, I think most teen guys are seriously immature and will do just about anything to get a laugh or get on your nerves because that’s a big part of how they deal with “teenage awkwardness”. Girls deal with it by trying to interpret what everything means and because they don’t quite understand it’s very easy for them to conclude that what a guy says is personally directed at them when 90% of the time it is not.
PD: If you could share one piece of advice with teen girls about communicating with teen guys – what would it be?
A &
CB: One piece of advice for girls when talking to guys is just talk. Don’t modify anything about who you are or what your motivations are. Just be straight forward and be yourself.
PD: Do you think girls often interpret things that guys say incorrectly? Why/Why not? CB: I think that guys and girls often don’t see eye to eye when it comes to conflict. Guys and girls interpret things totally different. From my experience, guys tend to be rather straight forward unless there’s something they’re hiding and girls seem to think differently in that they try to evaluate if there’s any deeper motivation to be discovered. This means if there is a disagreement the guy can be trying to be uncomplicated while the girl can be thinking its very complicated leading to an unresolved conflict.
PD: What do you wish teen girls understood about the way teen guys communicate? CB: I wish they understood that guys aren’t simply talking to you to attack you or because they like you. Can’t a guy talk to a girl as a friend without anyone thinking that they like each other?
PD: Do you communicate often with girls via social media? Yes/No? If you do talk via social media, do you find it easier or harder to talk face to face? Why/Why not? CB: I do talk to girls on social media, but not as much as in person because I no longer use social media like I used to. When I was younger and less comfortable with girls I used to use social media as the perfect tool to talk to girls from the safety of a computer screen. Now that I am comfortable with girls, and do activities with a lot of people, I see girls in person more than on social media.
Harvest Soup Hi dear readers! Autumn is quickly approaching, and so are the harvest times for many beautiful and
nutritious vegetables and fruits! Check your local farmer’s market for fresh produce. Locally grown fruits and vegetables, picked in-season, taste much better than store-bought varieties, which are harvested early and preserved to last longer on the shelf. This recipe is designed to include a few of those fall weather-loving foods.
Ingredients:
5 cups of water 4 cups of vegetable or chicken broth 9-11 small baby red potatoes or 5-6 large potatoes washed, peeled and diced 2 medium sized apples, washed, peeled and diced (squeeze a little lemon juice on them to reduce browning) 1/2 of a large white onion or 1 small onion 5 large carrots, washed, peeled, and cut into small pieces (I used rainbow carrots as a colorful addition) 1 large leaf of kale, cut off of the stem and into smaller pieces 5 tablespoons of vinegar 1 tablespoon of sugar 2 tablespoons of Italian seasoning 1/2 teaspoon of chili powder salt and pepper to taste (meaning as much as you think tastes good) You can add in any of your own favorite veggies to make this soup your own!
To begin
place the water, broth, onion and prepared potatoes into a large pot. Bring these to a boil by setting the heat to medium-high, and let boil for 15 minutes. After the 15 minutes are up, add in the carrots. Turn the heat down to medium-low and let simmer for roughly 40 minutes or until the potatoes and carrots are soft. Add in the kale, apples, Italian seasoning, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. Allow to simmer for 10 minutes longer, then turn off the heat and give the soup some time to cool down. Serve with yummy wheat or gluten-free bread, and enjoy!
Gluten Free
Fruit Tart Ingredients Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4
Pre Baked Pie Crust (Pillsbury Gluten Free Dough) 3oz cream cheese, softened 1/3 c sugar 1 tsp vanilla 3/4 c whipping cream 4 cups assorted fresh fruits 1/2 cup apple jelly, melted As per package instructions, roll out dough between two pieces of parchment paper. Transfer to pie pan and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. In a small bowl, beat cream cheese, 1/3 c sugar and vanilla with electric mixer on low speed until smooth. Beat in whipping cream on medium speed until stiff peaks form. Spread over crust to within 1/4 inch of rim. Arrange fruits on top. Brush jelly over fruites, refridgerate at least 2 hours. Store covered in refridgerator.
Bon Apetit
Plaid
Perspectives
TRENDY PLAIDS Plaid shirts can be used in a variety of ways especially in back to school looks. Snag our new favorite look by wearing a cute flannel shirt under a military jacket layered with a casual scarf! Pull on some combat boots and your ensemble is ready for that chilly school day!
Wear an open flannel over top of a solid colored shirt! Stick to one neutral palette and add a fun pop of color with a beanie to top off a cool mornings!
SCARVES ‘N SKIRTS Right: For mornings when you’re running late, a quick and easy look is to pair a chambray shirt and plaid infinity scarf with your favorite neutral skirt. Or throw a scarf overtop your favorite comfy sweater, pull on a maxi and you’re ready to go.
DRESS FOR SUCCESS Add some detailed flip flops to finish off this comfortable look for school. Finish it off with a plaid tote to stick with this season’s hottest trend!
Take it up a notch and try a sequined tank with a matching cardigan and solid pencil skirt. Black ballet flats keep it comfy but keep it polished as well. This look will score some major style points for any class!
NECK CANDY Left: A simple heart shaped pendant overtop this tank is a simple statement piece isn’t over the top. Above: This darker flannel layered under a cute sweater is super trendy! Add a statement necklace and quick braid and you’ll catch everyone’s eye!
KICKIN’ BOOTS What’s our favorite fall staple? A cute boot! Pull them on with a comfy pair of jeans to complete any outfit. High, low, rugged or fancy - boots are a must in the fall!
COLORFUL CARDIGANS There’s no doubt when autumn rolls around, army green and burnt orange are the best colors to wear! Layer these over a brown or light flannel; add a scarf and you’re ready to hit the books!
Measuring
Not
The Affects Verbal Abuse Had on Me
Up!
By LeEllen Nemours-Condry As an 11 year old kid in 1982, I was a typical pre-teen girl. I loved watching MTV videos, reading teen magazines, and collecting posters of my favorite movie and television actors. I appeared to be a pretty normal pre-teen but unfortunately, I was overweight, sad, and lonely. My mother and I had a tumultuous relationship due to the constant verbal abuse that I encountered frequently from her. I was a girl who desperately wanted my mother’s love but for some reason I was unable to attain it. I felt as if I could not live up to her standards. Her verbal abuse had triggered anger and sadness within me, but also released fears, doubts, and insecurities of who I was as a person. What did I do to deserve this? I could not understand why my mother did not like me. Her abusive nature tore our relationship apart which contributed to my depressed state of mind. “You always dress like a boy.” “Can’t you be more feminine?” “Why aren’t you more spiritual like your brother?” “He and I have a closer relationship than you and I do.”
I cannot tell you how her negative comments damaged me emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically as a young person. Her words pained me deep within the core of my being. The sad part is that I believed her lies. I thought of myself as the bad child; the child nobody loved or wanted. Each time I heard her stinging words, I was disappointed in who I had become. The impact of verbal abuse on a young person damages and destroys the person God has created. I know for a fact that the verbal abuse, emotionally and psychologically, impacted and changed me. I felt angry, sad, and depressed. As I look back on my adolescence, I was always fighting with my mother. But instead of fighting, I wanted her to value me; the daughter who desperately wanted and NEEDED her love and attention. Verbal abuse brought on the false truths of my own sense of unworthiness and hopelessness. I did not feel beautiful and I perceived myself to be ugly and unattractive. I felt so insecure that I carried shame and guilt constantly with me.
“Why aren’t you more spiritual like your brother?” Verbal abuse made me feel less important than other people and it had disguised who I was destined to be. So, what exactly is verbal abuse? In my opinion, verbal abuse is harsh, destructive, and critical language which spits out hurtful comments and opinions that destroy the inner being and self-image of a person. Is verbal abuse similar to bullying? Yes, but I have found that verbal abuse appears to be a focal point particularly among those who we have close, intimate contact with such as family, husbands, or boyfriends. It seems as if the abusers have given themselves permission to emotionally and psychologically verbally attack those whom they say they love. Their raw opinions deeply wound their victims. I believe that verbal abuse tends to be quite common in mother-daughter relationships due to the bonds cultivated from birth. For my family, verbal abuse has been a common occurrence that has lasted for three generations. How do you know if you are experiencing verbal abuse? If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable or repulsed by who you are as a beautiful child of God, please tell someone whom you trust. This can be a friend or an adult. I did not have a mentor or a close friend to share my feelings with so I repressed all my emotions. I wish I had someone who I could have talked to.
abusive towards her as my mother was towards me. I want to start young with her so that she will live a life free from the pain and hurt I experienced as a young teenager. My hope for all girls is to recognize their inner strength and beauty to overcome any verbal abuse they may encounter. I hope and pray that each girl, young and old, may read this and know that no matter what they have heard, there is one true God that loves them no matter what. We have been created uniquely by Him. Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well.” May you be able to fully believe that you are made by God and He loves you just the way you are!
Verbally abused c hildren Guest Author: may: LeEllen Nemours-Condry LeEllen is a Counseling graduate • Lose self-esteem student at Denver Seminary. She is married and has a 14 month old daughter named Windsor.
Now that I am a mother of a 15 month old girl my goal is to watch what I say around her so that I will not be verbally
DANGERS of Verbal Abuse •
Feel lonely, helpless, rejected, or depressed
•
Be unable to focus or sit still for long
•
Experience uncontrolled anger and rage
•
Have trouble sleeping
•
Isolate themselves, quit school or fail classes
•
May turn their rage outward and assault peers or turn inward and commit suicide
If you have ever experienced verbal abuse or know of someone who has, please seek out help or advice from an adult or a professional who can help. There are many websites online. If you need help finding help, please email the Pure Design team at pam@puredesignministries.com.
Psalm 19;24 (NLT) May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Colossians 3:8 (ESV) But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much. Blaise Pascal
PREACH THE GOSPEL AT ALL TIMES AND WHEN NECESSARY USE WORDS. -FRANCIS OF ASSISI
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning. Maya Angelou False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. -Socrates
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. -Lao Tzu
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. -Audrey Hepburn
YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR WORLD BY CHANGING YOUR WORDS... REMEMBER, DEATH AND LIFE ARE IN THE POWER OF THE TONGUE. -JOEL OSTEEN
Psalm 114:3 (NIV) Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. PROVERBS 16:24 (ESV) GRACIOUS WORDS ARE LIKE A HONEYCOMB, SWEETNESS TO THE SOUL AND HEALTH TO THE BODY.
A Christian reveals true humility by showing the gentleness of Christ, by being always ready to help others, by speaking kind words and performing unselfish acts, which elevate and ennoble the most sacred message that has come to our world. -Ellen G. White
Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. Nathaniel Hawthorne
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
EPHESIANS 4:29 (NLT) DON’T USE FOUL OR ABUSIVE LANGUAGE. LET EVERYTHING YOU SAY BE GOOD AND HELPFUL, SO THAT YOUR WORDS WILL BE AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO THOSE WHO HEAR THEM.
Behind the Scenes With the Pure Design Team!
SNEAK PEAK AT ISSUE 10! The Holidays are around the corner – can you believe it? Snowflakes will fall and cold temperatures will be here before we know it with the busyness of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! Our winter issue of Pure Design Magazine will be published on December 1st and will be filled with inspiring pages of fun for both winter and the holiday season. As we look ahead to winter, we want to combat the craziness of the holiday season. We will take a look at the topic of worry and fear in an issue entitled “Fret Not!” We all deal with fear, worry and anxiety. Stress is an overwhelming factor in life today, and God calls us “not to worry about tomorrow”. How in the world do we do that? We hope to motivate you to breathe deeply and enjoy this season. Keep connected by following our quarterly magazines and blog. Let us know what you would like to read about in upcoming issues. Send us a FB message or email us at: pam@puredesignministries.com. Follow us on Pinterest and Instagram! We value you! Please tell family and friends about us too!!
What to Expect This Winter
• Real life stories from teen girls like you • Inspiring winter and holiday fashion • Pure Design Guy Article • Comfy Winter Recipe to warm you up •
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All contents copyright Š 2014 by Pure Design Teen Mag. All rights reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the written permission of the publisher. Please write to Pam Lozano at 18 N. State Street Westerville, Ohio 43081 or e-mail Pam@puredesignministries.com