Out in STL - Volume 1, Issue 1

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A magazine exploring — and celebrating — the LGBTQ community in St. Louis Publisher Chris Keating Editor Nicholas Phillips E D I T O R I A L Copy Editor Evie Hemphill Columnist Chris Andoe Contributing Writers Eric Berger, Seán Collins, Melinda Cooper, Dera Luce, Melissa Meinzer, Monica Mileur, Ben Westhoff Editor at Large Sarah Fenske

A R T Art Director Kelly Glueck Contributing Photographers Susan Bennet, Lindy Drew, Monica Mileur, Sharon Knotts, Jess Luther, Sara Bannoura P R O D U C T I O N Production Manager Brittani Schlager Production Designer DevinThompson

M U LT I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Sales Director Colin Bell Senior Account Executive Cathleen Criswell, Erica Kenney, Nicole Starzyk Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers E U C L I D M E D I A G RO U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein Creative Director Tom Carlson www.euclidmediagroup.com N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, www.voicemediagroup.com Out In STL is published quarterly

by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member Out In STL 308 N. 21st Street, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63103 www.outinstl.com General information: 314-754-5966 Fax administrative: 314-754-5955 Fax editorial: 314-754-6416 Founded in 2017

Out in STL is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue may be purchased for $1.00 plus postage, payable in advance at the Out in STL office. Out in STL may be distributed only by Out in STL authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out in STL, take more than one copy of each Out in STL weekly issue.

The entire contents of Out in STL are copyright 2017 by Out in STL, LLC. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the expressed written permission of the Publisher, Out in STL, 308 N. 21st Street, Suite 300, St. Louis, MO 63103. Please call the Out in STL office for back-issue information, 314-754-5966.

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

On the Cover :

Cheyenne Devereaux Dexter Peebles may be a 29-year-old St. Louis boy, but his alter ego, Cheyenne Devereaux, is a Southern belle relatively new to town. “Before, she was just mine,” says Peebles.

“Now, sharing her with other people is incredibly freeing.” Photographed

by Susan Bennet in her studio on Lemay Ferry Road, Devereaux danced to Florence + the Machine and just generally killed. The selfproclaimed “Queen of Theater, Grace and Jameson whiskey” performs at the Grey Fox Pub on Tuesday nights. You can follow her at @Decksterrr.

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

Meet us :

Out in Stl If national trends apply locally, four percent of greater St. Louis identifies as LGBTQ. On paper, that’s just a number and string of letters; in real life, it’s a rich mix of humans more than 100,000 strong — and countless interesting stories.

It’s those stories that compelled us to launch Out in STL. We know the mainstream media doesn’t always do a great job of covering the issues that matter to you, much less representing the LGBTQ spectrum in all its diversity. We wanted to do our part to address that, with stories focused on the way you live and the things you care about: politics, personalities, food, arts, nightlife, travel, health and much more.

Out in STL is a quarterly product of Euclid Media Group, the parent company of the Riverfront Times. We’re keenly aware of the challenges that print journalism faces in the digital age, but we’re encouraged by the success of our sister publication in Texas, Out in SA. Just like that publication, which is now thriving in its third year, we intend to be completely local, both in terms of what we cover and the writers who contribute. And while the publishing business is still a business, we plan to donate a percentage of the proceeds for each future issue to a different local charity serving the LGBTQ community.

We look forward to your feedback, and we hope to see you at the launch party this autumn. Stay tuned!

—Nicholas Phillips, Editor

28.

TABLE OF

CONTENTS VIEWS.......................................6 QS..............................................8 POLICY....................................10 FEATURE.................................18 AGENDA..................................28 FLAVORS................................32 NIGHTOWLS...........................37 PERFORMERS........................42 WELLNESS.............................46 ESCAPES................................50

Cover photo taken by

SUSAN BENNET / OOH ST. LOU 315 Lemay Ferry Rd, St. Louis, MO 63125

Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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The Bi-Muda

Triangle

NAVIGATING ALTON, WHERE LABELS CAN VANISH

I

Chris Andoe, a.k.a. “The Emperor of St. Louis,” was a columnist for the Vital Voice and is the author of the book Delusions of Grandeur (Cahokia Press, 2015).

You can contact him at chrisandoe@ gmail.com.

Get over here & ...bite me.

8509 Delmar St. Louis • 222 E Park Street, Edwardsville, IL www.jillyscupcakebar.com 6

| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

consider Alton, Illinois, the undiscovered Sausalito of the Mississippi River. It’s a picturesque town about 22 miles north of the Arch, a place with dramatic topography and grand vistas.

It also happens to have mysteries below the surface.

And a Historic Museum of Torture Devices.

The museum’s proprietor is Janet Kolar, Alton’s hearsedriving (and hearse-racing) “Mistress of the Macabre.” A couple of years ago, I was writing a Halloween feature for the Vital Voice and I wanted to profile her. My interview requests went unanswered, so one Saturday afternoon I stopped by the Mineral Springs Antique Mall, where her museum is located. Inside the lobby I passed several shops packed with glassware, then turned down a long, dimly lit corridor leading to the museum. The gates were foreboding — and padlocked.

I began to leave.

“Who are you looking for?” asked a nearby shopkeeper.

“Janet Kolar,” I replied, “but she’s not here.”

“Oh, she’s around. Just have a seat and she’ll be back by.”

So I downshifted out of my city rhythm and settled in.

Before long, she arrived. I introduced myself, asking if this would be a good time to talk.

Views OUT IN STL

PHOTO BY ELAINE MARSCHIK

H

“I’m here and you’re here,” she replied serenely, “so this is a good time.”

What followed was part discussion and part seance — and one of the most fascinating interviews of my life.

That anecdote speaks to the way one should approach Alton. Unless you downshift, settle in and observe, you’ll miss the story.

That’s especially true at Bubby & Sissy’s, a bar that hosts several highly attended drag shows each week. After I began dating my husband, who is from Alton, I became a semi-regular at the bar.

While the employees and owners are “family,” the patrons, at first blush, seemed largely straight. But as I met people, I heard stories about the times some of them fell into what I call the “Bi-Muda Triangle”— a realm where

A drag queen charms at Bubby & Sissy’s

long-established sexual preferences can momentarily fade or vanish altogether. I realized there was something about Alton that lowered the barriers between queer and straight.

Treva Swain works the door at Bubby & Sissy’s. She talks about girls crowding in for bachelorette parties only to make out with women by the end of the night. Then there’s the trans woman who sometimes arrives with a boyfriend, and sometimes a girlfriend. And then there were the shows in which entertainer Trixie LaRue randomly assembled a group of mostly straight men from the audience and within minutes had them all dancing through the crowd in their underwear.

Drag Show Director Teighlor Demornay says that

at Bubby & Sissy’s, labels are not central to one’s identity, and self-exploration and experimentation are common.

“Our bar’s famous for our tagline, ‘An open-minded place,’” Demornay says. “So people know it’s safe for them to lower their inhibitions and be themselves.”

Sarah Edington is a regular who makes the 40-minute drive from St. Charles just to enjoy the vibe, which to her feels more welcoming than anywhere else.

“In most bars, bi folk get open hostility,” she says.

“But Bubs is friendly to us.”

In Alton, the relative openness to bisexual activity extends past the confines of one bar. Native Brian Ray, who doesn’t even frequent Bubby & Sissy’s, estimates that 90 percent of his sexual encounters in the area have

been with men who identify as straight. Similarly, Chris Keidel, the openly gay owner of the burger bar Bottle & Barrel, spends much of his time with straight male friends. “And that leads to me hanging out with a guy having a great time, and every now and then, it leads to something much more fun with someone no one ever suspected would be in a same-sex relationship.”

You might think you know LGBT St. Louis inside and out. You may have even visited Alton, utilizing all the navigational tools at your disposal, and found nothing out of the ordinary. But when exploring the town’s Bi-Muda Triangle, it’s important to understand those tools are of little use. Here, you can’t even rely on your n gaydar.

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T ET ER EV N JE BY ED ID OV PR OS OT LP H AL

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

Qs OUT IN STL

Jen Everett

An emerging artist on race, identity and the image

BY Dera Luce

U

p until this summer, Jen Everett had an ordinary routine. She would wake at 7:30 a.m., go to work as a project engineer for a construction firm and then come home around 5:30 p.m. to her partner and their thirteen-year-old son in south city. In her bits of spare time, though, she took photographs. And she was good at it. Everett was invited to exhibit her work at galleries and exhibitions all over town.

Now she’s taking the plunge: Everett, 36, is leaving her construction career behind to enroll in a master’s program at the Sam Fox School of Design and Visual Arts at Washington University in St. Louis.

Sometimes it takes fresh eyes to truly see our city. A native of the Detroit suburbs who graduated from Tuskegee University, she moved here for work in 2004. At this point, she has been a local for fourteen years, so we consider her a fully naturalized St. Louisan — and one of our rising stars.

OISTL: Your ongoing series “Sons of Rest” documents the black queer community of St. Louis. What inspired you to start the project?

Jen Everett: Well, it actually grew out of an assignment for the Vital Voice to document the Pride festival. I noticed that the black folks would congregate in this one little shelter, and they would have music and just kick it. So I just started gravitating towards it and making photos.

The only time you really see a big group of gay people kicking it and not being concerned about anything or anyone is in a club. And I mean, clubs are fine, but there should be other places where people can go and be out and not be afraid.

Even when I was done with the assignment, I continued to document that community, but then they moved the Pride

festival from Tower Grove Park to downtown, and it completely changed the dynamic. In a park, people have the tendency to linger and just be more carefree, and downtown I just don’t find that the festival itself has the same character. I’m happy I had the chance to document that because I don’t really see that happening anymore.

In observing and being a part of these three groups — black, queer and a St. Louis resident — what have you noticed about the ways they interact with each other?

I’m a black woman, and that’s something you can tell when you look at me. And I think the queerness is … it’s kind of a dance you have to do. In certain settings you can be very open, and in others people might not be comfortable with Continued on 10

Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

JEN EVERETT Continued from pg 9 how you present and how you navigate. That can be difficult, especially when it’s black people. So I’ve dealt with that.

Just moving throughout the world, people kind of give you a certain look. Y’know, I’m out with my partner, and people will look at me funny. I’m not going to sugarcoat it: It can be very alienating. I think when you’re a more femininepresenting woman, people don’t necessarily associate you with being queer. But when my partner is with me, I get a dirty look from a guy, or some guy is trying to talk to her, and then they look at me and are mad at me. [laughs] I’m making light of it, but sometimes those situations can get a little bit scary and make you feel unsafe. But on the flipside of that, although St. Louis can be somewhat conservative, I’m fortunate to live in an area where we don’t worry about those things. We live in south city, and I don’t feel pressured to be closeted or delicate or hyper-aware of how I’m moving. I feel pretty cool to just move how I want to move, look how I want to

look.

Going to different places within the state, you just always have to be aware. I think that’s something black folks are used to — just being aware of where you are and who’s around. It’s sad, but that’s just the way I’ve always had to be.

“Inimitable blackness,” a series of portrait-based collages, is a response to the nuances of black identity in America. What spurred this project, and what was the influence behind the unique structural components?

It was a direct result of me being bored, in a way, with just making photo-based work. I really loved that I could go through the process of photographing someone and making an image, but also that I could reconfigure the image, sculpt the image, and now that’s changed the meaning. I found that people took so much more time with the object or with the three-dimensional component than they would with just the image.

I think I was interested in this idea of complexity, this idea that blackness is multi-dimensional.

s t

Qs OUT IN STL Okay, so going back to the concept of multi-dimensionality. How do your different identities influence your own artwork?

I’m the kind of person who observes a lot. I’m pretty quiet. I think being positioned in that way — being a woman, being queer, being black — it’s a strange space to be in because, in a way, you are hyper-visible, but at the same time you can be invisible. Both have their drawbacks, but they also have their advantages. If you are invisible, you get away with a lot of shit, and people don’t really take notice if you’re doing certain things.

someone who is interested in an art career but doesn’t see it as being attainable?

I would say keep working. I haven’t attained anything yet. [laughs] I mean, I’m working, and I’m constantly trying to push myself. But if you are an artist, I don’t think making art is something you can ever not do.

Some advice that someone gave to me that I always keep in mind is: Find a community of artists, make the work you want to make and define what success means to you. If you stay on that track, then you’ll always be okay.

It sounds corny, but just be relentless.n Dera Luce is a writer and social media coordinator. You can follow her on Twitter at @deraluce.

You’ve had a busy year, exhibiting at Projects + Gallery, the Regional Arts Commission and UrbArts, among others. Was there an over-arching theme?

The work that I presented for all of them is part of this ongoing conversation I’m having with archives and archival images. All of these images are either mine from my own family history and family archives or from institutional archives.

The series is called Redoubled, and many of the images are repeating, so they’re redoubled in quantity from different vantage points, manipulated, and then redoubled in size so that they’re blown up from very small threeby-five or four-by-six images to, like, sixteen inches by twenty inches.

I’m just thinking about how black folks have imaged themselves across time and space and then this idea of images having a lack of context, but when you put them together somehow they can be in conversation. So there’s a rhythm throughout all these three shows.

What advice would you give to

Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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We Need to Talk

S

ick of hearing about health care?

In late July, after seven years of promises and drama, congressional Republicans failed to pull off a wholesale repeal and replacement of the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare. But that’s no excuse to tune out: Most of those legislators are sworn enemies of the policy, so they and President Donald Trump may keep trying to kill it by a thousand cuts.

It’s worth a reminder, then, what exactly LGBTQ St. Louisans would lose if Obamacare ever goes kaput — and the many other ways the current administration can wreak havoc on the health care they currently enjoy.

Even though the ACA wasn’t designed with the LGBTQ community in mind, it has been disproportionately helpful to its members.

Before Obamacare, about a third of lowand middle-income LGBTQ Americans had no coverage, according to the Center for American Progress, a liberal think tank. Then, in October 2013, the feds and the states launched the online marketplaces, while the mandate to buy a policy came into force. The next year, that cohort’s uninsured percentage fell to a quarter. For transgender adults within the group, it fell from 59 percent to 35 percent. All of this made a big dent in a stubborn problem.

“Historically, we have seen higher rates of being uninsured among the LGBTQ community,” says Jen Bersdale, executive director of Missouri Health Care for All, a St. Louis-based advocacy group.

Several factors explain that coverage disparity. First, LGBTQ folks had lower rates of marriage, and so they couldn’t easily join a spouse’s plan. Secondly, they had lower rates of parenthood, which in some cases made it more difficult to qualify for Medicaid. And third, there was the issue of pre-existing conditions: Gay and bisexual men were more likely to be affected by HIV than the general population, according to HIV.gov, so it was

How Obamacare Helped Us -- And When

• On the eve of ACA, a third of low- and middle-income LGBTQ Americans have no coverage

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2013

| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

• With ACA in full swing, that group’s uninsured percentage falls to a quarter. For transgender adults within the group, it falls from 59 to 35 percent

2014

• The Supreme Court legalizes same-sex marriage in June

2015

h

t l t i p p

r t d l

v

Policy OUT IN STL

About Healthcare harder for them to find coverage.

Obamacare directly addressed the latter two hurdles. It loosened restrictions to allow low-income adults to access Medicaid, even if they didn’t have children. It also prohibited insurance companies from denying or dropping people from coverage because of a pre-existing condition such as HIV. (As for the marriage rate, that’s bound to rise too, which will facilitate adding spouses to employer-based plans, but this has little to do with Obamacare; the Supreme Court finally legalized same-sex marriage in 2015.)

The Department of Health and Human Services also went to bat directly for LGBTQ

• In May, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) expands ACA discrimination protection to include gender identity • Five states and a religiously-affiliated medical group file a lawsuit in August claiming the new HHS rule forces doctors to perform sexchange procedures • In December, a federal judge in Texas issues a nationwide injunction against the rule on New Year’s Eve

2016

Americans. A part of the ACA already prohibited any federally funded health-care organizations from discriminating against a person based on sex; in May 2016, HHS expanded the protection to include gender identity.

However, a lawsuit filed filed two months later by five states and a religiously affiliated medical group claimed that “the regulation forces doctors to perform controversial and sometimes harmful medical procedures ostensibly designed to permanently change an individual’s sex.” They asked a judge to halt the new rule.

On New Year’s Eve, a federal judge in Texas agreed, issuing a nationwide injunction. In

May, the Trump administration stated its desire to “reconsider” the provision. HHS now says it will rewrite the rule.

“This is one of many examples of how the administration can work to weaken access to health care even if Congress never passes a bill,” says Bersdale.

The morning after the Senate rejected a Republican health-care repeal bill on July 28, Bersdale was relieved, but she fully expects another onslaught in the future.

“We are not out of the woods,” she says.

“We should continue to pay attention and urge our elected officials to protect health care for all.” n

“The administration can work to weaken access to healthcare even if Congress never passes a bill.”

• The Trump administration announces in May it will rewrite the rule • In July, Senate rejects various proposals to repeal and replace the ACA

2017

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California was the first state to ban the “gay panic� defense in 2014 Illinois is poised to follow suit in 2017 14

| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

Policy OUT IN STL

Illinois’ Ban on the “Gay Panic” Defense Wouldn’t Solve a Problem — But it May Prevent One

I

“You are essentially blaming gay men or transgender individuals for the violence committed against them.”

f a man on trial for murder and adopted the “gay-panic defense,” it would sound something like this: I’m sorry I killed the victim, your honor, but he winked at me, and he’s gay, so that’s provocation. I deserve a lesser charge.

Last spring, the Illinois state legislature overwhelmingly approved legislation barring the defense. If Republican Governor Bruce Rauner signs it, Illinois will join California as one of only two states to take this step.

It’s fair to ask why, given that the law’s proponents concede the “gay panic” defense is exceedingly rare. “A lot of legislators I have talked to have said, ‘This is a thing?’” says Mike Ziri, director of Equality Illinois.

But Ziri says he and his allies want to push back against “the idea that a flirtation from a gay man or a transgender individual is something that deserves violence. You are essentially blaming those individuals for the violence committed against them.”

A case from California shows how such an argument can arise even in liberal states.

In 2008, Larry King, fifteen, began wearing makeup and women’s accessories. He asked a middle school classmate to be his valentine. Two days later, that student, Brandon McInerney, shot King twice in the back of the head, killing him. Attorneys for McInerney argued that he was pushed to an “emotional breaking point” by King’s unwanted flirtations. The jury deadlocked, and McInerney later pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter to avoid a retrial. He was sentenced to 21 years.

In response, California became the first state in 2014 to prohibit attorneys from claiming that a violent act had been triggered by the revelation of the victim’s actual or perceived gender or sexual orientation.

Anthony Michael Kreis, a visiting assistant professor at the Chicago-Kent College of Law, says that the proposed Illinois law is “aimed to hedge against scenarios like Larry King.”

Ironically, it wouldn’t have altered a recent trial in Illinois that some consider a “gay panic” case. In 2009, Joseph Biedermann admitted to stabbing another man multiple times but claimed it was self-defense because the man had threatened him with a sword and ordered him to disrobe. The jury acquitted Biedermann.

Kreis says the new measure, which he helped draft, does not affect self-defense claims such as Biedermann’s. Rather, Kreis says, the bill simply blocks defense attorneys from arguing in court that their client’s violence was justified solely because the victim was of the same sex and made nonviolent advances.

All told, 145 Illinois legislators voted for the bill. None opposed it, though 32 did not cast a vote. Ziri says he thinks “there is a very good chance” that the governor will sign it. n Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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Local St. Louis’ annual LGBTQ celebration is splintering.

Is that a bad thing?

L

BY Melissa Meinzer

et’s set aside for now any tension among the various pride celebrations in St. Louis and establish this: There are a million legit ways to be proud. You can catch gleaming beads at one of the city’s largest parades. You can set up a booth at a street party to let your neighbors know you exist. You can admire a radical drag show, or boogie until dawn at the prom your high school never dared to throw.

There are as many ways to be proud as there are ways to be ueer. nd a pr de fest al s often nte ral to one s l fe ourney t can be the first t me you feel l e a part of the tribe — or any tribe, for that matter. Pride festivals are a crucial part of the LGBTQ experience worldwide. St. Louis s no d erent.

For more than three decades, the go-to vehicle for celebrating pride in our region has been PrideFest. The tradition began in April 1980, just months after the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, when local activists dared to gather in the Central West End for a charity walk.

Thirty-seven years later, the organizers have coalesced into r de t. ou s, a full ed ed nonprofit w th pro ramm n year-round.

Today, the organization runs a community center. It awards scholarships. It hosts a weekend-long festival that takes over downtown, turning the city’s commercial and governmental heart into a gorgeous explosion of rainbows, glitter and the heartiest of parties. nce the fest al s mo e downtown fi e years a o, t has become by some measures the most dent fiably t. ou san, too, with the iconic Gateway Arch serving as a backdrop for the parade.

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Feature OUT IN STL

al Pride(s) TL

In recent years, though, a growing number of people in the area have formed their own groups and festivals. ome of these o shoots arose from a des re to a rm a un ue dent ty.

Others were born of convenience. One emer ed as a defiant refusal to be absorbed into the mainstream.

They co-exist peacefully, for the most part. In June, representatives from each converged for a panel discussion, “A Proud History,” at the Missouri History Museum.

“I think it’s a great thing, having a lot of options” says Matt Harper, Pride St. Louis president. “We’re kind of like the big brother. We like being that resource. I love what they represent and wish we could help out more.”

What remains to be seen, however, is whether these alternative small pr des o er so many ad anta es that they sap the stren th of the big event downtown, or render it obsolete — an outcome some observers would lament.

Steven Louis Brawley, founder of the St. Louis LGBT History Project, says that r de est has always been a symbol c nst tut on, a un fied e n of political muscle, and “the one signature pride.”

Are we leaving it behind?

PH

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For Pride St. Louis, the year 2017 was wildly successful — and rocky.

On a mild and sunny Sunday in June, thousands crowded downtown to take in the capstone event of PrideFest 2017, dubbed “Community Proud.” The parade stepped o ust after noon, after Metro n tra ns d s or ed crowds of rainbow-clad visitors from near and far.

Cleve Jones, founder of the San Francisco AIDS foundation and creator of the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, served as grand marshal. Also on hand were people in T-shirts depicting Hillary Clinton’s myriad monochrome pantsuits arranged in a rainbow; at least two people holding signs featuring 2017’s most delightful gay meme, the Babadook, a horror movie monster; opposite-gender couples with toddlers; and a lovely young man in purple skinny jeans, stilettos, a Continued on 20 feathered mask and nothing else.

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After the parade, festival crowds jostled in Y ND LI line for fries, lemonade, UrBY O T ban Chestnut beer and port-aO PH potties. All told, a record-breaking 300,000 people came out to celebrate, be visible and hold space for one another.

This happy ending could’ve been less so. As Harper acknowledged at a post-festival board meeting, “Starting out, this was one of our roughest years.”

Pride St. Louis entered 2017 with liabilities exceeding $160,000, says Landon rownfield, the roup s secretary. he sum was the result of unpaid bills from past E DR

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events, increased security costs and decreased sales in 2016 attributed to hot weather. That meant the group needed to raise more than $238,000 from this year’s festival to balance the budget.

Then came an unexpected blow: In the early spring, Bud Light, a major sponsor, pulled out. (AB/InBev declined to give Out in STL a spec fic e planat on rownfield recalls company representatives saying the brewer was rethinking its marketing focus and pulling out of festivals of all types nationwide.)

Just weeks before the festival, Pride St. Louis announced a controversial plan to cover the shortfall: Organizers would char e a entry fee. hey also oated the possibility of distributing free tickets widely, but a backlash ensued.

The proposed entry fee roused ire on social media and at meetings. Keyboard warriors on Facebook and Twitter said they’d never go again, and that Pride was too corporate anyway. Critics faulted the board for overlooking the marginalized status of

many LG B TQ people, calling their decision privileged and poorly communicated.

One of these critics was Lady Ashley Gregory, a board member of the Metro Trans Umbrella Group and the leader of Queer and Trans People of Color St. Louis. She penned a full-throated op-ed on the website of Boom magazine condemning the fee.

“To those of you, family, who say it’s ust fi e dollars, she wrote on May , dare you to stop and check your privilege and think less about what you do have and more about what others may not.”

On May 9, the board reversed course, announcing it would nix the fee. “At its core, the Pride movement is about protecting, empowering, and celebrating each and every member of the LGBTQIA+ community,” the board wrote in a press release that was widely shared on social media. “Our previous decision to charge a mandatory fee, though made with no intent to exclude, would have created another barrier for those who already face so many challenges.”

Instead, the board cut its budget by about a uarter. t ra sed more than $40,000 through direct donations online and suggested donations at the festival entry. It also doubled the cost of bracelets sold for alcohol purchasers, to $2.

Through this belt-tightening, donations and upContinued on 22

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PRIDE (S) Continued from pg 20 charging for the privilege of buying booze, PrideFest has become o c ally debt free. rownfield says the board s “cautiously optimistic” and plans to continue budget-cutting and cost controls to avoid falling into debt again.

Lady Ashley Gregory now o ers tempered pra se for the organization’s choice to pull back the fee.

“When you realize you were wrong and you try to make it right, that is a form of success,” she says. “It could have come a lot sooner, but hopefully, they learned their lesson. Transparency in a community role is key — when you say you support a community, the community needs to know what you’re doing.”

Sayer Johnson is executive director of the Metro Trans Umbrella Group. He attended the May 8 board meeting just prior to the board’s course reversal. He challenged the board to consider the outcry and not leave anyone out.

“We certainly appreciate that they didn’t charge the fee,” he says today. “It alienates and marginalizes trans folks. Statistically speaking, we stru le financ ally.

So PrideFest isn’t perfect.

But it probably doesn’t need to be. While it’s certainly fair to call it the main festival, PrideFest isn’t the only show in town — and hasn’t been since the nineties.

St. Louis Black Pride, for instance, boasts of being the second oldest black pride in the whole country. The group

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held this year’s celebration on the weekend of August 18.

“Black Pride is steeped deep in tradition,” says Leon Braxton, the organization’s vice president.

It was born during the AIDS epidemic of the eighties and nineties, when the group Blacks Assisting Blacks Against AIDS held an outreach event called B-Boy Blues Festival in 1995. Since 1999, it’s been known as Black Pride.

Braxton says that Black Pride, while certainly a party, will always be focused on the health and wellness of African-American LGBT people, who face major health disparities.

According to a 2012 study, “All Children Matter: How Leal and oc al ne ual t es Hurt LGBT Families,” families of color have reduced access to health care and lower rates of routine care and prevention, and being LGBT has a multipl er e ect on these ne at e outcomes. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that in 2015, gay and bisexual men accounted for 67 percent of HIV diagnoses, with black men leading that cadre.

Braxton, who also serves as director of diversity and inclusion at Pride St. Louis, says Black Pride now includes a drumline, recognition of trans women of color who have died, a basketball tournament and a Greek step show.

“It gives us time as a community, as a black community, to see where we are and where we can go,” she says.

In 2014, two straight moms from St. Charles were working to forge connections for their

ay ds. he women were sta ing a booth for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, at PrideFest. They asked each other where the celebration was on their side of the river and realized there wasn’t one.

With that, Pride St. Charles was born.

“We wanted to give people opportunities in the outlying counties,” says Jason Dunn, vice president of St. Charles Pride.

Dunn says the festival was only conceived of as a family picnic, but it’s grown every year. Now organizers host monthly co eehouse e ents and family-friendly parties all year long.

“After we had announced Pride St. Charles, we had someone call and say ‘How much is your vendor fee?’ and we were like, ‘Vendors?’”

Dunn recalls.

Despite apprehension that no one was going to come, 3,500 people showed up for the inaugural Pride St. Charles, a rainy weekend in the courtyard of St. Charles Community College. The second year, 7,000 came. This year, 11,000 partied in Frontier Park.

For residents of St. Louis, where the mayor routinely marches in PrideFest’s parade and both public and private bu ld n s y ra nbow a s for all of June, it’s hard to fathom a pride event triggering backlash in 2015, but Dunn says such fears were real.

“We were worried when we started Pride St. Charles we would get protesters, the city would say no. Most people welcome us with open arms,” he says. “This year at Pride St. Charles, we had ten faith-

based groups.”

Growing up in a Catholic family in conservative Troy, Dunn struggled to reconcile his faith and his identity.

“I remember praying that God would just change me,” he says. “It took going to my first r de to real e th s s who I am, this is how God made me.”

Never mind the challenge of getting permission as a teenager to make the drive into St. Louis for PrideFest.

My parents were defin tely not going to let me drive across the bridge,” he says.

“So this is my way of supporting those kids.”

On the Illinois side of the Mississippi River, Metro East PrideFest began in 2008. ome see t as the c o to pride season since it occurs the weekend before its St. Louis counterpart.

“People who were just starting to come out, young kids — we felt that St. Louis Pride might be a little overwhelming for them,” says Sarah Gool, co-founder and past board president. “We wanted to o er someth n that s nd of a stepping stone for them.”

It began with about 1,000 people turning out and rubbing elbows with neighbors, religious leaders and politicians, including Belleville mayor Mark Eckert. The next year o ered , people, endors and the vocal and comedic stylings of Bellville native Lea DeLaria, who plays Big oo n et s Orange is the New Black. Like the other pride events, it has continued to grow each year.

One area event did emerge out of conflict — and as a

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not take place in the park, but it’s focused on that neighborhood and is anchored to South Grand Boulevard, where ra nbow a s y all year lon . t s a grassroots and radical alternative — and it has struck a chord with many.

“I think Tower Grove Pride did an outstanding job OB

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The board wrote that O l e g n a ’s comments were “not factual.” They revealed that they had sent him a cease-and-desist letter, accusing him of “infringing on [Pride St. Louis’] intellectual property” by insinuating through the use of the term “pride” some a l at on w th the nonprofit.

Powers says his group never responded to the letters, but that the controversy had a al an n e ect on h m, Olegna and Cooper.

“We all had a wakeup moment,” he recalls. “If we wanted th n s to be d erent or better, we have to step up and take leadership roles.”

Five years on, Powers says the two events have arrived at a more peaceful place.

“Most of those board members, most of the folks that had generated that animosity toward us, are no longer involved,” he says. “The relationship now is much stronger.”

Tower Grove Pride does

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direct response to changes to PrideFest.

Starting in the 1990s, PrideFest was held in Tower Grove Park. It eventually outgrew its cozy sylvan berth and moved downtown in 2012. But plenty of people were unhappy. A Facebook group called Keep Pride in Tower Grove became a forum for those who disapproved of the move and those who disagreed with Pride St. Louis’ general direction.

One of them was Michael Powers, then a neighborhood stab l at on o cer n the st Ward. In his view, the big move downtown was “a kind of mainstreaming.”

“You slap pride on everything and you put a rainbow on a product label,” he says. “It becomes this kind of catchall for acceptance.”

Powers teamed up with two others, Angelo Olegna and Melinda Cooper, to launch a parallel pride event near the old location.

On January 22, 2013, St. Louis Magazine ran a Q&A with Olegna in which he criticized Pride St. Louis for the move and detailed the new plans for Tower Grove. “Pride is continuing along Grand,” he told the publication, “but under new management.”

The magazine’s editors received a swift response from Pride St. Louis’ then-president Staci Stift. She objected that they d dn t contact the nonprofit for uotes or er ficat on. uch was the magazine’s standard practice for Q&As.) Stift and her board wrote a rebuttal, which the editors welcomed and published two days later.

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WEEKEND BRUNCH .............

LUNCH .............

HAPPY HOUR .............

DINNER

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this year,” says Liz Van Winkle. Van Winkle is the mastermind behind GutterGlitter, an underground party-planning roup of ue rdo, ant rac st, antifa, intersectional feminists” that runs the monthly drag show WILDE at KDHX. She’s also a critic of PrideFest as too corporate, too police-friendly and nowhere near radical enough to represent LGBT struggles. At the Tower Grove event, she says, “I ran into so many activists. As long as they keep those people involved, I think they’ll be good.”

PROMO communication director Katie Stuckenschneider, for example, says this kind of fete feels right to her.

“South city people who dent fy as super ueer, people like us go to Tower Grove Pride,” she says.

According to Powers, 7,000 revelers attended this year.

He says the board is trying to find ways to mpro e the event by disseminating an online survey to vendors and revelers through Facebook and by word of mouth. And while they can’t make the sidewalks any wider or the weather any nicer, Powers says they’re happy to adjust to the feedback.

“If you leave the community out of the festival, you don’t have the engagement you want,” he says.

Part of that is keeping vendor fees low — $75 this year, compared to a minimum of $250 downtown. Vendor vetting is also important, Powers says. The application asks

would-be vendors to explain their connection to the community.

“When we work with you as a sponsor or partner, we have expectations that the festival is not just about getting some brand recognition for you.”

While it’s great to have options, there will always be a place for the biggest, ash est, most photo en c pride.

“They give a place for baby ueers to o e per ence the r first taste of ueerdom, says re ory of Queer Trans People of Color. “For so many people who are just starting to know themselves, maybe Pride is a success.

It’s helping people come out and discover people who are like them.”

It’s also the festival that has earned the first e er proclamation from a Republican governor — Eric Greitens’ plaudit was displayed at the post-festival board meeting — and is considered a must-attend by mayors and megacorporations such as Monsanto and Peabody.

PROMO’s Stuckenschneider echoes Gregory’s sentiment. She says that PrideFest, and the parade in particular, are crucial for newly out people and those from outlying rural areas. For those people — and she was once one of them — seeing corporate giants y n ra nbow a s s life-giving.

Others are wary of these al-

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That’s why we did both prides.”

Steven Louis Brawley has a un ue perspect e on all the sturm und drang: He is the founder of the St. Louis LGBT History Project and this year’s recipient of the Lisa Wagaman Lifetime Community Service Award. He’s been making a study of the city’s LGBT history for years. So he knows better than most that tension within the family is not exactly new. en the first fest al n 1980 had its share of controversy, he points out, because two or three groups wanted to PH

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Both Monsanto and Peabody, for example, have come under fire from environmental groups. But without them, funding concerns become intractable.

“Corporate sponsorship of pr de may often be the d erence between fiscal sur al and the less-than-admirable alternative,” says InterPride’s Hayhoe. “As prides grow, a fiscal real ty occurs. ssent ally someone has to pay the bills and the corporate sector is a perfect partner for this.”

Johnson, of the Metro Trans Umbrella Group, was full of praise for Tower Grove Pride. e also attended and sta ed a booth at PrideFest where he interacted with crowds of trans people, but didn’t march in the parade this year. ur commun ty s un ue and d erent and beaut ful and sits better with being more localized,” he says. “I’m also a both/and person. We wouldn’t have reached hundreds of trans people [at PrideFest] had they not wanted to come out.

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PRIDE(S) Continued from pg 25 run it.

Each annual celebrat on, he says, has re ected the times it occurred in.”

Pride celebrations may be splintering right now because, in a way, the community itself can a ord to. More and more, American society — be it in the courts, in politics, in business or in pop culture — is embracing the wide spectrum of gender and sexuality. Even beloved St. Louis sports institutions got into the act this year, with the Blues and Cardinals hosting their first e er r de hts n anuary and August, respectively.

As acceptance has grown, so too has the confidence to ma e finer dent ty d st nctions. Look no further than the acronym: In 2016, the advocacy group GLAAD updated its media reference guide to list “LGBTQ” as the preferred term, since it includes the multifaceted “queer” category alongside “lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.”

(For some, the “Q” encompasses still more letters, such as “I” for intersex and “A” for asexual.)

On the other hand, there’s still plenty of need for a united front. It’s true that the 1969 arrest of nine men at the Onyx Room in Midtown St. Louis for “masquerading,” or being in drag, seems almost unfathomable. But as the website LGBTQ Nation reported in June, by that point in 2017, thirteen transgender 26

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people had been murdered across the U.S., eleven of whom were trans women of color — and the current fi ures are surely higher.

Furthermore, federal marriage equality may now be law of the land, but LGBT people in most of Missouri can still leally be fired, den ed hous n and excluded from public accommodations such as restaurants simply for being queer.

Meanwh le, annual e orts to pass laws such as the Missouri Nondiscrimination Act have met resistance and apathy in the GOP-controlled state capitol.

The more that small prides peel o , the reater the r s of diluting PrideFest’s symbolic power, and by extension, the political juice of the LGBTQ demographic. If there’s strength in numbers, strength could dwindle once the numbers divide and scatter. een throu h a d erent lens, though, the sprouting of smaller prides doesn’t necessarily sap the strength of the whole. In fact, it might rather be a sign of strength. After all, if national trends apply here, then the St. Louis area is home

t o about 100,000 people who identify as LGBTQ, with fewer impediments to coming out than ever before. It would be odd if they didn’t argue about how to celebrate.

And for all the pride-related squabbling in recent years, it’s easy to forget just how much the members of LGBTQ St. Louis have each others’ backs, how much they actually agree on — and how much things have improved overall.

Brawley recalls a man coming up to him and weeping at a History Project booth the first year r de est was downtown.

“He said, ‘Steve, I was at the ’80 Pride. I was wearing a mask. I was afraid to be seen.

I was afraid I’d lose my job.

Now, I’m walking down St. Louis’ main street, out and proud. I never thought I’d see n the day.’”

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Melissa Meinzer arrived in St. Louis in 2010 and has been trying to discern the city’s secrets ever since.

Don’t ask her where she went to high school. You can reach her at meinzermelissa@gmail.com.

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YOUR FALL,

PLANNED

GET A PIECE OF CULTURE, OFF THE BEATEN PATH

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LIT THAT’S LIT Lovers of belles lettres can enjoy a feast of literary discussion at Left Bank Books on September 28. In the back of the shop, nationally renowned lesbian poet Eileen Myles will be discussing her most recent work, Afterglow (A Dog Memoir). Ostensibly it’s a love letter to her late pit bull Rosie, whom she welcomed o the street and loved for sixteen years. But according to British reviewer Helen Macdonald, Myles’ new work is “really about life and everything there is.” Meanwhile, down in the basement of the shop, the Gay Men’s Reading Group will meet to discuss the novel Guapa by Kuwaiti-born author Saleem Haddad. The book follows a single fateful day in the life of Rasa, a gay man in the post-Arab-Spring Middle East whose life is teetering into chaos. You’ll get a twenty percent discount if you buy

either of these two books at Left Bank.

Eileen Myles reading, free, 7 p.m.; Gay Men’s Reading Group, free, 7:30 p.m., Thurs. Sept. 28, Left Bank Books, 399 N Euclid Ave, 314-367-6731, www.left-bank.com

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MONSTER BALLADS

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and o ether, an not for profit devoted to music performance, has announced its theme for the annual Halloween Concert on October 14: “Tale as Old as Time.” With about 100 volunteer musicians on the stage, many in costume, the concert band will swirl through pieces related to stories that have been passed down through generations. Think Dracula, The Hobbit, Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Beauty and the Beast, among others. The band will play more than a dozen pieces over two

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acts. During the intermission, the color uard w ll play mus c from the film Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, which was released twenty years ago, in 1997 — the same year BandTogether was born.

BandTogether Halloween Concert, free, donations welcomed, 8 p.m., Sat., Oct. 14, 560 Music Center, 560 Trinity Ave., 314-935-6564, www.bandtogetherstl. com

THE PICTURE OF MANHOOD When artist Jess Dugan began shooting portraits of her friends in 2011, she says, she gravitated to those who had “found a way to be masculine that’s more gentle and more vulnerable than the mainstream

version of it.” In 2015, she published a book of those photographs, Every Breath We Drew. Now she’s exhibiting 30 of them, along with a video component, at UMSL through October 14. She shot the portraits across the country, but many were in Chicago and Boston, in her subjects’ homes, and often in their bedrooms, using medium- and large-format cameras.

The collection includes gay men, gay women, straight men, trans women and even her partner Jess, with whom Dugan settled in St. Louis three years ago. All of her subjects, she has said, “represented something I either saw in myself or wanted to embody.”

These are just three of the many photos by photographer Jess Dugan (center) now on exhibit at UMSL.

“Every Breath We Drew” exhibition, free, Gallery 210, University of Missouri–St. Louis, through Oct. 14, Tues. - Sat. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., 44 East Dr. on UMSL campus, 314-516-5976, http://gallery210. umsl.edu/ Continued on 30

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bread-maker will win oven mitts, while the chili champion will win an apron. The People’s Choice winners, meanwhile, shall win eternal fame.

Chili Cook-Off, free, donations encouraged, 12 p.m. Sat. Oct. 14, PrideCenter, 3738 Chouteau Ave., 314-3170077 Ext. 3, www.pridestl.org

GET FILTHY

Join Maxi Glamour (above) for a raunchy party downtown the night after Thanksgiving .

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AGENDA Continued from pg 29

CHARITABLE CHILI You may wish to attend the PrideCenter’s inaugural Chili oo s mply because you believe in its mission: to provide a safe space for LGBTQ individuals, to operate a lending library and to run a CyberCenter where folks can search for jobs or take online classes.

Or you might just be hungry,

in which case you’re in luck.

Individuals and teams will compete (for entry fees of $10 and $20, respectively) to make the most scrumptious chili and cornbread. It’s free to come in and taste their creations, though donations are encoura ed. fi n stat on loaded with cheese, sour cream, tabasco, salt and pepper, crackers, onion and chips will let you customize your bowl. The judging starts at 2 p.m. and the awards ceremony at 3:30 p.m., at which time the best corn-

As queer culture goes mainstream, its “edgy underground nature” dissipates, says Maxi Glamour, a fashion designer and event planner for Qu’Art (a.k.a. Queer Art). To keep the rebel vibe alive, Glamour and DJ Monsieur Gaston have announced the first annual lthy lth est for the n ht after Thanksgiving. It aspires to be a “super queer showcase” of live music, drag, burlesque, painters, vendors, clowns and more.

There will also be a panel of guest speakers — including a city alderman! — to discuss being queer in St. Louis and how to ma e a d erence n the community. “There’s a lot of hyper-polished pretty princesses in the limelight, and that’s cool,” notes Glamour, “but equally important are the evil queens that make the story interesting.”

Filthy Filth Fest, $10, adults only, 9 p.m. Fri. Nov. 24, The Crack Fox, 1114 Olive St., for more information, contact quartstl@gmail.com

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Beets

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of the

Heart

A STAR CHEF REVEALS THE EMOTIONAL ORIGIN OF A ROOTY DISH

BY ERIC BERGER

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t’s hard to believe chef Rob Connoley when he says he doesn’t like beets.

Consider his “Rolled Roasted Roots” dish.

He uses the core of a red beet like the veal shank in ossobuco, then slices the remainder of that beet — plus a golden one — into thin strips, which he wraps around the core. e er e it atop a chic pea ca e and fini he it ith bechamel sauce.

Still, he insists: “I could care less about beets.”

So why does Connoley, a James Beard Award nominee famous for using foraged ingredients, bother to gussy up these earthy roots?

His husband, Tyler, loves them. onno e fir t made the di h ear a o at the uriou umquat, the destination restaurant he used to run in Silver City, New Mexico. It quickly became one of Tyler’s favorites. And hat e an a a a or o o e no promi e to fit per ect into the sort of cuisine Connoley plans to serve at his upcoming restaurant, Bulrush.

“I don’t like wimpy, light vegetarian dishes,” says Connoley, a Bridgeton native who moved back to the area last year. “I was in a ranch and mining town before, so I had to make sure that the food would satisfy people.”

He found that even when he put beets in a chilled salad, they punched above their weight: “Your body reacts to them like meat.”

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ROB CONNOLEY Continued from pg 33 he onno e fir t crossed paths seventeen years ago in Indianapolis, where Tyler, a United Church of Christ pastor, was in a seminary program. Rob Connoley lived there too. When they met, he had just returned from a mountain-climbing trip in Peru and “wasn’t looking for a relationship” because he was again planning to leave the country.

Tyler persuaded him to stay, and they had a religious marriage ceremony within the next year. (The two are now legally married.) In 2004, they moved to New Mexico because Connoley took a job to tart a nonprofit aimed at providing uninsured people with access to healthcare. A few years later, he decided to switch career tracks and become a chef.

He opened the Curious um uat in 00 ut it presented a domestic problem.

“We found out that instead of us having dinner together at home every night, I would be at work until nine or ten, which meant he was at home having dinner by himself,” says Connoley, who is 49. So Tyler started coming into the restaurant for his evening meal.

Connoley knew his tastes.

“I have just always loved beets,” says Tyler, 47. “There’s something about the earthiness and the sweetness.”

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he fir t time onno e made the dish and sent it out to his husband, he heard a loud “squeal or chirp” from the dining room.

“Half of me was happy that I got the right dish for him,” recalls the chef. “The other half was thinking, ‘You need to be quiet; there are customers out there.’”

Tyler, whose job now involves helping immigrants get housing, clothes or legal services, says of the dish, “It’s just amazing to look at; it’s just so beautiful. And it was exciting that it was a whole dish of beets.”

Tyler often serves as the primary taste-tester for the dishes Connoley is developing. At Bulrush, which is expected to open early next year, Connoley

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plans to base the menu around ingredients that he has foraged.

As the author of Acorns & Cattails: a Modern Foraging Cookbook of Forest, Farm & Field, Connoley has been doing pop-up restaurants and charity events around St. Louis since his return. He spends a couple hours each morning hiking on public and private land outside the city, searching for blueberries, wild mushrooms and sumac. When he comes back, he says, “my legs are completely cut up and scratched and bloody.”

As for the “Rolled Roasted Roots,” he says he would be surprised if they don’t show up at Bulrush, if perhaps in a slightly di erent ormat. ou no can t er e m o d tu he points out.

Not that Tyler would complain. n Eric Berger is a journalist in St. Louis who writes for St. Louis Magazine, the Riverfront Times and the St. Louis Jewish Light. You can reach him at eric.berger87@gmail.com.

PHOTOS BY JAY HEMPHILL

ROB CONNOLEY Continued from pg 35

Nightowls OUT IN STL

Shake it up

WHAT FIVE LGBTQ BARTENDERS ARE MIXING THIS FALL

BY Monica Mileur

[THE SASHA’S SHOT]

Cathy Thomure Sasha’s on Shaw 4069 Shaw Blvd., 314-771-7274

Cathy Thomure slung her fair share of shots during the seven years she worked at Novak’s, the legendary (and now-defunct) LGBTQ bar. Now she dwells in the more relaxed vibe of Sasha’s on Shaw, where she’s the general manager.

But she still makes shots: Every night of the week after 9 p.m., the establishment runs a late happy hour featuring the $5 “Sasha’s Shot,” a swirl of espresso, Svedka Vanilla, Frangelico, Bailey’s, Kahlua and Buttershots. Thomure and crew are happy to serve it as a shot or a martini. Otherwise, you have plenty of other options, including 52 wines by the glass or even a Busch beer.

It may be a wine bar, but it’s by no means a pretentious one.

Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

37

[THE IRISH MULE ]

David Page

O’Shay’s

4353 Manchester Ave., 314-932-5232

If a night owl sits at the bar and can’t decide what to order, many mixologists will inquire about her tastes and either cater to or challenge them. David Page, bartender at O’Shay’s in the Grove, goes about it differently. He suggests a cocktail he himself relishes: “the Irish Mule,” or at least, his version. To make it, he mixes Bulleit bourbon, ginger beer, orange bitters, dry vermouth, sour mix and a generous amount of lime. Consider it a flourish of self-expression from this self-described “Grovian” who also happens to be a photographer and writer. Page admits his recipe is weird, pretty strong and full of flavor.

That’s why he recommends it: It lets you taste how he’s feeling.

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Nightowls OUT IN STL [THE PLOOPY]

Paulie Gibson Just John

4112 Manchester Ave., 314-371-1333

By day, Paulie Gibson is a fashion designer. By night, he tends bar in the Grove, and has done so for a decade.

His signature cocktail started out as a martini called “Paulie’s Loopy” because it had Three Olives “Loopy” Vodka, which tastes like Fruity Pebbles cereal. Five years ago, after Gibson started working at Just John, the drink then became a shot, and much to Gibson’s dismay, its name morphed into “the Ploopy.” It’s so popular up and down Manchester Avenue that you can order it at Rehab, Siam and Atomic Cowboy. But to sample a genuine Ploopy, you have to order one from Gibson at Just John.

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39

Nightowls OUT IN STL [THE LAST WORD ]

Benji Link Sanctuaria

4198 Manchester Ave., 314-535-9700

Benji Link says he likes working in the Grove because he feels comfortable and safe there; it’s appropriate, then, that the bar he tends is at Sanctuaria. The drink he likes best is “The Last Word,” a classic equal-parts cocktail that dates back to at least the Prohibition era. To him, it’s simple, balanced and perfect; sweet, tart and strong.

It’s an easy sell to the guest who isn’t sure what to order, and easy to memorize as well: It consists of gin, Chartreuse, maraschino liqueur and lime juice and is served up.

[THE MOMMA BEAR]

Alissa Reeves

The Scottish Arms 8 South Sarah St., 314-535-0551

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

At the Scottish Arms, a friendly soccer bar in the Central West End, the term “Momma Bear” refers to two things: first, the house’s variation on an Old Fashioned, one built on Angel’s Envy bourbon (which is finished in port wine barrels) and sweetened with agave instead of simple syrup. Secondly, “Momma Bear” is the nickname of bar manager Alissa Reeves. She created the drink for a special event and has kept it on the menu ever since. Reeves claims her establishment boasts a certain romantic energy: She met her wife, Amy, there five years ago and reports having witnessed several couples return to the bar to take wedding photos in the booth where their own flame was first kindled.

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Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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TeddyBear

Therapy

Tragedy dogs rapper Eric Dontè — andBYdrives him BEN WESTHOFF

E

ric Dontè is not in counseling. His music is how he gets out his anguish.

42

“I think a lot of people feel like I do but are afraid to say it out loud,” he says, sitting in his bare-bones apartment in the Shaw neighborhood. “I’ve hit rock bottom so many times, what’s the worst that can happen at this point?”

Dontè, 23, is six feet two inches tall and rail thin, with a frownyface emoji tattooed on his left arm. His song “Sad Lives Matter” begins with crying, then chronicles the 2011 suicide of his best friend, who shot himself in the head.

The day before, they’d gone to Build-A-Bear to get teddy bears.

After the suicide, Dontè carried his bear with him for years as a way to remember h s departed comrade. he bear finally met ts demise last year when another friend’s mother inexplicably tossed it.

His exuberant concerts feature him singing, rapping and bounc n o bac up dancers and hype men. he shows are highlighted by fans throwing teddy bears on stage for him. They now he lost h s fa or te, and he carr es d erent ones w th h m wherever he goes.

Many musicians describe their music as cathartic, but Dontè’s is nothing but. It’s atmospheric, artful hip-hop that is moody and drawn from his life — as in, he’s sometimes literally reading from pages of his diary. Although he has all the makings of a critical favorite, has performed at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival and maintains a passionate local fan base, he’s not quite there yet.

Some of the beats he uses sound amateurish. His music isn’t yet available on streaming services (though it will be soon). He also lacks a publicist or manager.

But his songs are so gut-wrenching and original that his success

| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

feels assured. t n such n uences as Mar lyn Manson, Tyler the Creator and Missy Elliott, he maintains a vivid, gender-bending aesthetic, wearing pink braids and tiaras in his videos. His good looks have won him modeling shoots and runway shows.

Meanwhile, tragedy keeps striking. His father died of a heart attack in July. They’d been growing closer since his dad kicked him out of the house at age eighteen, unaccepting of his son’s sexuality. After the funeral, Dontè learned his fa-

t k f

s a w u i

“

Performers OUT IN STL

ALL PHOTOS BY SARA BANNOURA

ther had wished they were closer. “At least I know now, but I wish I would have known before,” Dontè says.

Around the same time, his brother was shot several times — emerging from a coma the day after their father’s death. Dontè doesn’t know what inspired the attack, and the shooting is still under investigation. “It’s tough, but I’m making it,” he says.

His art is a bright spot — and that, he says, is “how it’s always been.” Music is his ally whenev-

er the world seems to be crashing around him, which happens with distressing frequency. It’s not always enough. He often feels crippled by social anxiety, making it hard to perform, hard to bring positive energy to fans who are counting on him for inspiration.

The title of his upcoming EP, A Lamp in the Room, due out in late summer, is a metaphor for this feeling. He wants to be “a burst of light” in dark rooms for his fans, but “because of my anxiety I’m not sure I want Continued on 44

Dontè noodles in his studio in mid-July — with the help of a friend.

Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

43

ERIC DONTÈ Continued from pg 43 to be there.”

The release follows his lauded 2016 EP, God Don’t Like Ugly, which chronicled the events of the preceding year, in which his apartment burned down and he lost everything. He’s since moved into his new place in Shaw and is rebuilding his life. He surrounds h mself w th creat e fi ures l e the videographer Jessica J. Page and the producer and visual artist Angel of Deth. Dontè soon plans to release a “visual EP” of the songs from God Don’t Like Ugly.

Tragedy dogs him, and tragedy drives him. He has faced so much adversity that he long ago gave up trying to make sense of it.

Instead, he questions God and assures himself that he’ll never be able to meet others’ expectations.

This lets him focus on his musical vision.

It’s catching on. An email out of the blue earlier this year bore an invitation to perform at Bonnaroo, where he rapped before the biggest crowd of his career. Wearing pink silk pants and a black leather harness and choker, he was so inspired by the experience that he took a plunge — diving into the crowd and surfin on the r outstretched arms.

“I have trust issues,” he says, noting that he’s not

44

| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

sure the hometown crowd would be supportive if he tried crowdsurfin at a local show.

“But eventually here in St. Louis I’ll jump into the crowd too,” he adds. “When I feel like they won’t drop me.” n en esthoff is a t ouis ournalist and the author of Ori inal an stas u ac hakur, r re, a - , ce Cu e, and the irth of est Coast a ind hi on itter en esthoff

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Good Queen The

I

WHY MISS MISSOURI 2016 TOOK ON TEEN SUICIDE Seán Collins

t’s a Saturday in a small town in Missouri.

There’s a beauty pageant underway, and a young teen — we’ll call her Tya — is nervous. She keeps to herself all day lon . he th n s she doesn t fit n w th the other rls. he stays at the edge of room, looking in.

She has never been to a pageant before and never performed n front of so many people. ya prays her o ce finds the words when it’s her time to sing. he moment finally comes. he ta es the sta e. he shyness disappears, and her voice is strong.

Tya, a thirteen-year-old lesbian, found her voice.

“She was amazing,” says Erin O’Flaherty, Miss Missouri and the first openly ay contestant to compete n the national Miss America pageant.

O’Flaherty was there that Saturday night as a special guest.

She heard Tya sing and then after the pageant spotted her walking along the road out of town. They chatted. The girl said she was headed to a friend’s house. And immediately O’Flaherty could sense the young girl needed help.

“You have to put yourself in someone’s shoes,” says O’Flaherty. “I remember what it was like to be that age and be navigating my sexuality. I grew up in a very small town. I didn’t come out until I was at least eighteen. The process was long.

Because I didn’t have anybody around me that I perceived to be like me.”

O’Flaherty’s participation in Miss America last September was an LGBTQ milestone that garnered national attention.

What drew less coverage was her charity platform — and her reasons for choosing it.

O’Flaherty championed suicide prevention, with a special focus on the re or ro ect. t s a nat onal nonprofit that helps young LGBTQ people through moments of crisis. The risk of self-harm in that demographic is disproportionately high. A study last year by the Centers for Disease Control showed that the rate of suicide attempts among lesbian, gay and bisexual youth is four times higher than that of straight youth. For questioning youth, it’s twice as high.

The former Miss Missouri had some experiences of her own with youth suicide. When she was a teen growing up in Florence, South Carolina, her close friend (who happened to be straight) took his own life at age thirteen.

“I was so sad how his cries for help went unheard until it was too late,” she says.

These days, help is more available, even for LGBTQ kids, but they don’t always know it’s there. Acting as Miss Missouri, O’Flaherty visited various gay-straight alliance clubs at rural

s

g d

d u o

p

w E

f t a

t p b

a t t

f

t

Wellness OUT IN STL Last March, O’Flaherty spoke at Washington University in St. Louis about defying expectations.

E ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF ERIN O’FLAHERTY

s

schools and discovered an awareness gap.

“People didn’t know about the Trevor Project,” she says. “I’d get into these schools and kids who really needed the resources didn’t know about them.”

Outreach is key, according to Dr. Katie Plax, a professor of pediatrics at Washington University School of Medicine. Granted, urban kids need help too; that’s why Plax founded the Spot, an outreach and drop-in center in St. Louis that welcomes them.

At least urban kids enjoy a relative diversity and geographic proximity to services. Their rural peers often don’t.

“Life in a rural community can be really protective in its own way,” Plax says, “unless you feel stigmatized, then it’s really awful.

Everyone knows your business.”

Dr. Plax agrees that the Trevor Project is an excellent resource for young people. She is especially impressed by the organization’s two-way texting service, which allows young people to have a text conversation with a trained counselor. hey re able to e am ne te ts and fi ure out who needs to be triaged. They’ve mapped it out to know who is most at risk,” explains Plax. If you’re trying to reach young people, there’s probably no better way than through their phones.

“Texting’s huge,” says Plax. “Text messaging is important for all populations of young people, but especially for youth who feel they’re on the margins. Because sometimes it’s easier to text things that are deeply felt than it is to say them face to face.”

Dr. Plax stops for a moment, as if she’s searching for the perfect words. hen she finds them.

“Loneliness literally kills.”

She adds, “Stigma and shame and racism and homophobia — these are all real things that really impact young people’s lives.”

And these things impact our health. Plax talks about Adverse

Childhood Experiences. Experiences like having a parent with a serious mental illness, drug and alcohol abuse in the household, intimate partner violence in the household, the death or incarceration of a parent.

The more of these experiences that a young person has, the more likely they are to engage in violence, the more likely they are to have a problem with alcohol or drug use, the more likely they are to have STDs or HIV, the more likely they are to have heart disease and other illnesses, the more likely they are to engage in self-harm.

“These Adverse Childhood Experiences are really bad for us,” Plax says. “And we’ve underestimated their true impact on our health. Because we think, ‘Oh, that’s not really our biology, that’s “social” — biology is over here and social is over there.’ The neck, amazingly, connects our brains and our bodies.”

Seen in this context, youth suicide becomes a critical issue of minimizing the total volume of stress felt by young people, especially young people who are facing a number of ACEs. But it also calls for LGBTQ adults to be available for young people.

Finding trustworthy adults is important — people who understand what young LGBTQ people face and can serve as a social balance to the rejection and homophobia they encounter. That’s why gay-straight alliances and places like the Spot save lives: hey o er a place where you can be yourself. ly n the ra nbow a helps, la says. he a really matters. hen ds see that a they now the people there now something. It conveys messages that are important in profound, wordless ways.” rn laherty once ra sed a a n her own way. oday, she l es a more low profile l fe, co mana n a women s cloth n bout ue n hesterfield called aContinued on 48 Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

47

TEEN SUICIDE Continued from pg 47 chel’s Grove. But in 2016, when the eyes of the pageant world were on her, she chose a platform that wasn’t going to be universally embraced. That was brave of her. She was out there — she was visible — and she was helping kids make social connections with welcoming people in life-giving places. hope made a d erence. hope people heard that message.”

Tya did. In the year since she met O’Flaherty, life has not been especially easy. But she has her voice. And, thanks to a friendship with a trusted adult, she n knows she is heard.

Seán Collins was a founding member of the Washington, D.C., chapter of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association and the former managing senior producer of NPR’s “All Things Considered.” He lives in the Grove.

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| OUT IN ST. LOUIS | Volume 1 - Issue 1

Escapes OUT IN STL

Over

The

River

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES FROM ST. LOUIS, ELSAH, ILLINOIS IS A HIDDEN TREASURE hen I think “quick weekend getaway,” I often neglect everything across the Mississippi River. That’s a mistake, because for years it meant I overlooked the historic hamlet of Elsah, Illinois, on the Great River Road. A fr end and s ted br e y n uly. th n fi e m nutes, found myself plotting to come back for a whole weekend.

Located about 35 miles north of St. Louis below some limestone blu s, lsah populat on s barely a dot on the map.

It emerged in the second half of the nineteenth century after the lla e s founder, ames emple, o ered free lots to all those who agreed to build their homes with rock from his nearby quarry.

Many of those homes still stand today, along with a former gas station designed by renowned Bay Area architect Bernard Maybeck.

Despite its small size, Elsah boasts two B&Bs that have recently received good marks on social media from the LGBTQ crowd: the Maple Leaf Cottage Inn (12 Selma Street, 618-

PHOTO BY JESS LUTHER

W

Melinda Cooper

374-1684) and the Green Tree Inn (15 Mill Street, 618-3742821). Our time was limited, so we focused on the latter.

The Green Tree Inn is a quiet enclave by the creek that runs through the village. Each room has its own full bathroom and plenty of space for luggage. (A pet-friendly room allows guests to bring their fur babies to stay the night.) On the house’s upper

deck, a long screened-in porch offers a view of the garden. If you wish to relax on ground level, there s a co y yard w th a fire p t and benches. The Green Tree Inn will loan you bicycles and has a small garage for guests who’ve come by motorcycle.

Gary and Connie Davis acquired this property a few years back, and they seem like they couldn’t be Continued on 50

This building was constructed in 1887 and now houses the Village of Elsah Museum, which is free and open on weekend afternoons through October.

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be the truest you, whoever that may be WE’RE PROUD TO LEND OUR HANDS

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The Maple Leaf Cottage Inn is another B&B in Elsah at 12 Selma Street.

Escapes OUT IN STL

Elsah has two B&Bs to choose from. Above, the entrance to the garden of the Green Tree Inn.

ELSAH

ALL PHOTOS BY JESS LUTHER

Continued from pg 49

happier. Connie will cook your complimentary breakfast. She says the customers vary widely: One morning, an Amish family shared a table with a group of kids with dyed hair and piercings.

The Davises only have two rules, no matter who you are or what your personal beliefs may be: “Respect our property, and respect our guests.”

Connie even gave us a quick wal n tour of lsah. he first stop on our walk was Farley’s Music Hall (37 Mill Street, 618374-1059), a multipurpose building now used for parties, wedding receptions and Contra dances, which she described as a mixture of folk dancing and “making new friends set to music.” After the

ood of , a s e pla ned, the sheetrock covering the interior walls was destroyed. But that led to the discovery underneath of smooth blonde wood with hand-painted patterns dating back to 1885, when the building was constructed.

We also stopped by the Elsah General Store (22 LaSalle Street, 618-556-0709), which was everything I’d hoped it would be.

Picture Oleson’s Mercantile from Little House on the Prairie. Blair and Dory Smith re-opened the store a few years ago to meet the need for a town grocery. They stock all the basics, plus some St. Louis specialities such as Ted Drewes Frozen Custard, Dogtown Pizza and Kakao chocolate. They also o er an e tens e l st of local pure cane sugar sodas, including Dog n’ Suds root beer and Excel

sodas. If you drop by on a Wednesday morning, you might spot locals chatting away over an shes and co ee dur n the r weekly meet-up.

All of this is just a short drive (or bike ride) away from the great hiking opportunities at Pere Marquette State Park, which has twelve miles of marked trails.

If a nice glass of chardonnay is more your speed, keep in mind Elsah is a dry village, but the Grafton Winery & Brewhaus (300 West Main, Grafton, IL 62037, 618-786-3001) is only fi e m les down the road, where you can sip on reds, wh tes or a tast n ht of the r n signature beers.

Melinda Cooper is a musician and frequent contributor to the Riverfront Times. You may contact her at melindajcooper@gmail.com Volume 1 - Issue 1 | OUT IN ST. LOUIS |

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