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November 2012 Vol. 20, No. 3

OPSB Parental Involvement 504-304-5675 3520 Gen. DeGaulle Dr. N.O., LA 70114

still make the difference! Tell your teen that effort is key to success

Three lessons for your teen about texting & technology

or today’s teens, using a phone for talking is so last year. A new survey has found that teens are much more likely to send their friends a text message than call them. Texting can be a good way for your teen to keep in touch with friends and classmates. But it’s also likely that your teen may pay more attention to what’s on her phone screen than other things—like family responsibilities and homework. You’re probably not going to pry the cell phone out of your teen’s hands completely. But here are three important things your teen needs to know: 1. Texting and homework don’t mix. A teen who is thinking about what her friend is texting her is Copyright © 2012, The Parent Institute®

not thinking about her Spanish vocabulary words. She may end up spending much more time on homework—with less to show for it. So have her put the phone somewhere else while she studies. 2. Using a smart phone to cheat is dumb. Most teachers ban the use of cell phones during tests. Many teens ignore the ban. Let your teen know that cheating is always cheating, even if it’s high-tech. 3. You are going to check her messages. Your teen can’t “unsend” a message. Before she sends a message, she should pause to think about how you will react when you see it. Source: A. Lenhart, “Teens, Smartphones & Texting,” Pew Internet, http://pewinternet.org/~/media//Files/ Reports/2012/PIP_Teens_Smartphones_and_Texting.pdf.

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Teens often think the ability to succeed is something people are born with. Show your teen that what matters is effort. If he has truly tried his hardest, then he’s a success in your eyes. Motivate your teen to always do his best by: • Fostering skills. Can your teen draw? Build things? Spending time on things he enjoys and is successful at makes your teen feel good about himself, which gives him the confidence to tackle things that are more difficult. • Offering specific praise. “You took the time to do one more draft of your paper. I can tell how hard you worked on this.” • Being realistic. Even though your teen may study his vocabulary words for hours, he may just get an average grade. It’s normal for your teen to be better at some subjects than others. Just keep focusing on your teen’s effort! Source: V. Ianelli, M.D., “School Performance Problems in Adolescents,” www.keepkidshealthy.com/ adolescent/schoolperformance.html.

Practical ideas for parents to help their children

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Parents should know warning signs of depression in teens Teens are so often moody that it can be hard to tell when a problem is “typical teen behavior” or something that needs intervention and treatment. Generally, your teen may need special help if his bad moods persist for days and begin to affect his personality or health. Here are some signs that may indicate a teen is suffering from depression or anxiety: • He feels especially sad, tired or worried for two weeks or more. • He loses interest in things he has always enjoyed. • He does not want to spend time with family or friends. • He changes his patterns of sleeping and eating. He may sleep a lot

more or a lot less than usual. He may eat too much or barely eat at all. • He says he does not feel well, complaining of headaches, stomach pains, or other physical problems. • He is irritable most of the time. • He has intense attacks of fear or panic. • He talks about feeling worthless or about hurting himself. If you see these signs in your teen, call your doctor to schedule an evaluation by a mental health professional. If you are concerned about an immediate risk of harm, take your teen to a hospital emergency room. Source: D. Greydanus, M.D., The American Academy of Pediatrics, Caring for Your Adolescent, Ages 12 to 21, Bantam Books.

Discipline creates structure for your still-developing teenager Your teen has matured emotionally, intellectually and physically since her elementary school days, but she still has a long way to go. The part of her brain that controls impulses and helps her make good decisions is not yet fully mature. That’s one reason why teens need structure and discipline. Your help in teaching your teen how to maintain control will pay off in all settings, especially at home and at school. Here are some guidelines: • Expect difficult moments. When your teen acts first and thinks later, blurts out the wrong thing or is moody, it is not necessarily because she wants to hurt you. • Be firm, yet flexible, with your teen. Discuss family rules and make sure she understands the

consequences for breaking the rules. Consider granting her more freedom as she shows she can handle more responsibility. • Always know where your teen is, who she is with, what she is doing and when she will be home. • Remember the difference between an explanation and an excuse. Your teen’s age and brain growth may give an explanation for some of her behavior. However, they are not excuses for being rude or defiant. • Focus on the big issues. These include things such as schoolwork and respect for others. Try not to nag your teen about the smaller issues, like the occasional messy room. Source: D. Walsh, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen, Free Press.

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Have you talked with your teen about cheating? A recent survey of college students found that over half of them admitted to cheating in high school. Answer yes or no to the questions below to see if you are communicating your family’s values about cheating to your teen: ___1. Do you try to set an example of honesty? ___2. Do you use examples from TV shows to open up conversations? If a reality show “star” says, “I’ll do anything to win,” talk about the win-at-all-costs mentality. ___3. Do you avoid focusing so much on grades that your teen feels he has to cheat? ___4. Do you talk with your teen about times when being honest is difficult? ___5. Does your teen know that if he’s caught cheating, you’re not going to bail him out? How well are you doing? Each yes answer means you are helping your teen develop a code of ethics that will discourage cheating. For no answers, try those ideas from the quiz.

still make the difference! Practical Ideas for Parents to Help 1523-1291 Their Children. ISSN: 1523-2395 For subscription information call or write: The Parent Institute®, 1-800-756-5525, P.O. Box 7474, Fairfax Station, VA 22039-7474. Fax: 1-800-216-3667. Or visit: www.parent-institute.com. Published monthly September through May by The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc., an independent, private agency. Equal opportunity employer. Copyright © 2012 NIS, Inc. Publisher: John H. Wherry, Ed.D. Editor: Rebecca Miyares. Writers: Kris Amundson & Stacey Marin. Illustrator: Joe Mignella.

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Five steps can help your teen improve any writing assignment Perhaps you don’t remember writing a lot when you were in school. Today, that’s changed. High school students are expected to write in every subject. Writing is part of state tests, and it’s also part of college entrance exams. Research shows there are five steps that can help your teen improve her writing: 1. Plan first. Spend time brainstorming and coming up with a list of key items to cover. Or just try writing for 10 minutes without looking in the textbook. This will help your teen figure out what she already knows about the topic. 2. Do research beyond looking in the book. Read other articles on the subject. Check out a book from the library. The extra research will make the writing livelier.

3. Make an outline. Teens hate this step—but it works. Knowing where you want to put that interesting point will ensure that it isn’t forgotten. Try different kinds of outlines. The traditional numbersand-letters outline works well for some teens. Others prefer a tree or even a series of connected circles. 4. Write more than one draft. The first draft is the “down draft”— it’s the time for getting the ideas down on paper. Once it’s finished, set it aside for awhile. When your teen comes back to it, she may have ideas for how she wants to rephrase or reorganize. 5. Proofread. Your teen should read over her final draft and check carefully for any spelling or grammatical errors. Source: J. Unger and S. Fleischman, “Is Process Writing the ‘Write Stuff’?” Educational Leadership, ASCD.

Respect for others must begin with your teen’s own self-respect Respecting others begins with respecting oneself. Talk with your teen about the qualities that someone with self-respect has: • Acceptance. She accepts herself, realizing that she should try her best, knowing that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and has good qualities as well as faults. • Self-value. A self-respecting teen takes care of her body, giving it enough food, exercise and sleep. She doesn’t harm it with alcohol or drugs. • Appreciation of others’ beliefs. She demonstrates that she believes others’ opinions are

important. Since she values herself, she realizes that the beliefs of others have value as well. • Forward-thinking. She sees a future for herself and keeps her goals in mind when faced with a difficult situation. • Desire to learn. Because she has goals, a self-respecting teen appreciates the hard work that others, such as parents and teachers, have done. She looks to them as positive role models. Discuss which of these qualities your teen possesses. Work on reinforcing all of these qualities and developing her self-respect. Source: B. Lewis, What Do You Stand For? For Teens: A Guide to Building Character, Free Spirit Publishing.

Q: My son is a big kid. Now that he’s in high school, the other kids are teasing him. He doesn’t want to ride on the bus to school. He says no one will sit with him because he’s too fat. He has even started cutting gym class. What can I do?

Questions & Answers A: Sadly, your son is not the only student facing this issue. Studies show that students who are overweight are often taunted by other students. What’s happening to your son is bullying—and he doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes, kids who are the victims of bullying start to feel that it’s their fault. Let him know you’re on his side. Next, help him focus on the things he’s good at. If he likes art or music, find ways for him to spend more time on these activities. He’ll feel a sense of accomplishment because he’s doing something well. He may also have a chance to meet kids who share his interests. Third, have him talk with another adult. He should certainly talk to the gym teacher about why he is avoiding class. The teacher needs to know what’s going on in the locker room so he can stop it. Your son should also talk with his counselor. Finally, help your son make a plan for getting healthier. Talk with a doctor to set some goals. Can he add a little more activity to his day? Can he choose healthier foods? The results won’t be immediate, but over time, he will likely see a big change. —Kris Amundson, The Parent Institute

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It Matters: Homework

How successful Four ways to help your teen students manage get organized for studying their homework our teen can’t do his math We’ve all heard about the student who plays three sports, volunteers and still makes the honor roll. How do they do it? Busy students must learn to set priorities in order to get everything done. Here are some of the skills successful students know—and that your teen can learn: • Use the right planner. Teens have a lot on their minds. And when something gets forgotten, it’s more likely to be an English reading assignment than the lyrics to a favorite song. So make sure your teen has—and uses—a planner. She should write down every assignment. Check regularly to see that she does. • Use electronics as a backup. Many teachers now post assignments online. Those are great in a pinch, but planners help her see the big picture. “Yikes, I have a math test and an English paper, both due on Tuesday.” • Put after-school commitments in the planner. That way, she can see what nights she’s busiest. If a big project is due on Friday and she works on Thursday night, she’ll have to finish the project by Wednesday. • Expect the unexpected when working on a big project. The book she needs for her term paper may not be in the library if she waits until the night before the paper is due to check it out. Source: D. Goldberg, The Organized Student, Fireside Books, Simon & Schuster.

homework if he can’t find it. Helping him get organized is a great way to help him earn better grades. Here are four tips to share with your teen: 1. Keep study materials together. If your teen doesn’t study at a desk, use a box to corral everything he needs. That way, he won’t waste time looking for materials. 2. Use self-stick notepads. Your teen can keep them in his locker, in his room and near his study spot. He can write down things he needs to remember on these and then consolidate the reminders on a single homework “to-do” list every day.

3. Use small chunks of time. He can review vocabulary words while he’s waiting for the bus. 4. Finish each homework session by placing everything that has to go to school in the backpack.

Your teen can use mnemonics to remember information A mnemonic (nuhMAHN-ic) device is any trick to help your teen remember something. If he’s ever recited, “Thirty days hath September,” he was using a mnemonic. Here are a few popular ways your teen can use mnemonics to remember information: • Acronyms. The five Great Lakes are often remembered with the letters in the word HOMES: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. • Acrostics. The first letter in each word stands for one of the items on the memory list. For example,

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“Super Man Helps Every One” is another way to remember the Great Lakes—in order from west to east. • Rhymes. When was Columbus’s first voyage? “Columbus sailed the ocean blue in fourteen hundred ninety-two.” • Music. It worked to teach your child the ABCs, so have him set key facts to a popular song and he’ll never get it out of his head. • Chunking. Combine longer lists of words or numbers into smaller groups. Source: M.K. Ruben, How to Tutor Your Own Child, Ten Speed Press.