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april may

twenty sixteen

the valley’s

for today’s


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in every issue

contributors .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

event calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 shutterbug

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

oh, by the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 food for thought


. . . . . . . . . . . . . 40



shop talk never too old for a beautiful smile considering orthodontic care as an adult . . . . 30

what’s on your mind? i want my old life back . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

what to do, what to do‌ summer camps & activities 2016 . . . . . . . . . 12

gettin' through it mad at God? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

just a thought time & love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

ready, set, grow epidermis episodes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58





feature & profiles

mod mom profile nikkie gullickson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16


melanie fierstine—groupfit . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

rad dad profile gary larsen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

cover story shelby terstriep—true calling . . . . . . . . . . . 50



on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen


on the minds of

PUBLISHER DS Communication, LLC EDITOR Dani Parkos Fluge

COPY EDITOR Charlotte Berg

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OTMOM MISSION STATEMENT On The Minds Of Moms Magazine is dedicated to providing parents of all ages a bimonthly resource they can trust. A fresh approach to traditional parenting publications, we are modern and inspiring while offering a community of local support and real-life advice for today’s family.

Don’t be Embarrassed Constipation, bed wetting or incontinence... We are the area’s experts in treating pediatric bowel & bladder issues.

On The Minds Of Moms contains views from across the parenting spectrum. These views do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All activities listed in these pages are at your own risk and require appropriate supervision. OTMOM is a publication available at all Fargo-Moorhead Hornbacher's, Family Fare, and Grand Forks–East Grand Forks Hugo's grocery store locations. Distribution also includes all partnering advertisers. Copyright 2016 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. On The Minds Of Moms is a trademark registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

701.364.APEX (2739) www.apexptwe ll 1420 9th St. E. Suite 401, West Fargo


“my mom was right about…” kathleen wrigley   bismarck | nd just a thought: page 46 E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!

hailey pfau  fargo | nd what’s on your mind?: page 10 It is okay to put yourself first or be a little selfish. If you don't put yourself first and love yourself, your cup can not be full. If your cup is full, then it will overflow and you are able to give and love others.

deb uglem  fargo | nd oh, by the way: page 38 Just about everything. But more specifically about the power of shopping and the importance of re-grouping during that adventure. Thanks Mom!

kari klingsporn hitterdal  fargo | nd food for thought: page 40 Food, of course! I know my mom didn't love cooking when we were growing up, but that didn't stop her from encouraging healthy and adventurous eating. We ate nutritious food that included exposure to a greater variety of tastes than most people I knew. Also, she was always very prepared for the unexpected guests who would often drop by our home. My husband says I take after my mom when I make too much food. I take that as a compliment; glad to have an unexpected dinner party any chance I get! Thanks, Mom!

dr. jeffrey harvey   fargo | nd shop talk: page 30 My mom was right when she said, "Do the right thing, be responsible and dependable."

heather bjur  fargo | nd gettin’ through it: page 34 "When she said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this, Mama said, Mama said, Mama said...."

dr. matthew ames  fargo | nd shop talk: page 30 My mom was right about just about everything.

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what’s on your mind?

y m t n a w I fe back! li

misdiagnosed Molluscum was actually melanoma. Yes…I have melanoma and I am only 16 years old.

story by  |  hailey m. pfau


didn’t cry when the doctor told me the news. I didn’t cry when he looked me in the eyes and told me about needing to have surgery. I didn’t cry when he told me I had to have surgery for a second time. I didn’t even cry when I realized I could die.

One day, at the age of 14, I woke up and noticed I had a mole on the backside of my arm. It was the average mole. Tiny, like a dot from a pencil. I didn’t pay much attention to it, really, until it started to hurt and turn red. It looked like it was irritated. A trip to the doctor to have it checked resulted in a diagnosis of a non-worrisome mole that may have been unknowingly scratched. Over the next 18 months the mole would continue to grow. A follow-up visit for a recheck determined the spot in question was Molluscum, a harmless but contagious viral infection of the skin that is sometimes called water warts. I was told it should go away on its own in six to nine months, but could even take years. The diagnosis seemed to make sense, yet a part of me wasn’t convinced it was that simple. Over the next six months the pesky spot began to leak a clear fluid and peel, again representative of Molluscum characteristics, but it was painful. During my annual ‘back-to-school’ check-up I asked the doctor if we could remove it, but because it wasn’t considered ‘urgent’ it would take another three months to get into dermatology. Finally, on October 13th, 2015, I underwent an in-office procedure to remove the spot in question. Again, I was not scared and just looked forward to getting rid of the annoying pain in my triceps. It would be only three days later the call would come that would confirm what my gut already knew. The once ‘irritated mole’ and 10

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

November 16, 2015, my mom and I sat together in a Sanford Clinic exam room as the doctor told me the tumor on my arm came back as cancer and a more invasive surgery was necessary to remove a large portion of my arm, specifically a three-centimeter radius from the outside of the tumor along with three of my lymph nodes. In true teenage fashion, my un-phased self responded, “Okay. When is the surgery?” November 25th was the big day. Starving [no grub, as pre-op rules], I was wearing sweats, no make-up, and smelled gross after washing in special hospital soap. Like a typical teenager, I was unaware of the seriousness of my illness and truthfully felt inconvenienced by the entire process but figured it would be over soon and I could get back to school and friends. A few stressful, painful days later we got a call from the hospital explaining that the cancer had spread to one of the three lymph nodes that were taken out. Meaning that I now had stage III Melanoma and yet another surgery would be required. December 16th brought the second surgery. I went upstairs to the fourth floor of the Sanford Hospital, was escorted to a room, given an IV, and sat waiting and wishing I could eat, before going downstairs where I lay on a hard table and drifted off into anesthetic lah-lah-land. During the surgery they removed an additional 21 of my lymph nodes. About a month after the second surgery, we would return to Mayo for a three-day visit to learn what kind of additional treatment I would need. The team of oncologists informed me I had two choices. I could return to Mayo every two to three months and get check-ups on my skin

what’s on your mind? for the next five years. Or the second choice was to go to St. Jude’s and see what they suggested for treatment. St. Jude’s is a cancer-research hospital for children in Memphis, TN. The thought of once again being separated from my friends and not being able to drive was a heart breaker. I wanted to be a normal kid going to school, taking finals, having a job, and hanging out with friends. I used to hate those things, until I couldn’t do them anymore. A person learns to appreciate the little things when everything gets taken from them. With the travel to St Jude’s inevitable, I began to think more about everything that was happening to me. How did this happen to me? What could I have changed? Why me? It’s hard not to be mad; after all, this pencil-tip spot turned my life upside down. Then it hit me: maybe if I share my story in some way, it might help me to answer some of these questions or even help someone else in a similar situation. So here I write, tucked away in a corner at the St. Jude’s Hospital, where I am receiving treatment for my melanoma. As annoyed and angry as I am about being here, away from my life, I understand I have been given an opportunity. Maybe even a platform to bring awareness to something I thought only sun-loving adults could get. So what is it that I want to share? First, I hate when people ask me: “How did you get melanoma?” “Isn’t that caused from tanning too much?” It can be from tanning, it can be genetics, or it could be like me, a fluke. It just came, nothing caused it, it just decided to keep on growing for an unknown reason. But can tanning beds and too much

sun accelerate cancer cells? Totally. Did you know people who tan indoors are 74 percent more likely to develop melanoma, 2.5 times more likely to develop squamous cell carcinoma, and 1.5 times more likely to develop basal cell carcinoma than non-tanners? So unless you are willing to give up your life routine, stay out of tanning beds, lather on the sunblock, and limit time in the sun. What have I learned so far from my diagnosis? Well, since I’m 16 and driving is a high priority for me, I compare it to driving in a car. The road has bumps and bends, sometimes it is hard to see the road, sometimes it is clear, sometimes you have to pull over because you’re completely lost, and sometimes you just keep going because eventually you will get to where you are going. Change is hard to accept. I want to be able to wake up in my bed in my own room, see my pets, use our own washer and dryer, and cook a meal in our kitchen. I really just miss my old life. I want it back. I want it ALL back. But the reality is, my life will never be the same and finding a new normal is the next road block I need to navigate my way through. I guess you just need to trust the journey. Hailey Pfau is a Junior at Fargo North High School where her creativity shines through in her love of art and the many stunning sculptures she has created in advanced classes. She is also daughter to Chad and Cairra, a 4th Grade teacher at Longfellow Elementary School in Fargo, and the younger sister of Shaina. Alongside her eye-for-art, Hailey has always wanted to pursue a medical degree to one day become a surgeon. Although her desire to become a MD has not wavered, her recent cancer diagnose has opened her eyes to oncology.

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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


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camps & activities

what to do, what to do… summer camps & activities 2016

FAITH FaHoCha Bible Camp An interdenominational camp nestled beside South Lake Washington, 25 miles East of New Rockford, ND, we offer a unique camping experience combining a fun filled family like atmosphere with life skill training and Bible study. All from an encouraging, caring and loving staff! Camp dates include: June 12-17 – Varsity Camp [ages 16-18], June 19-24 – Middler Camp 1 [ages 10-12], June 26-July 1 – Jr. Varsity Camp [ages 14-16], July 6-8 – Beginner Camp 1 [ages 8-10], July 10-15 – Middler Camp 2 [ages 10-12], July 17-22 – Jr. High Camp [ages 12-14], July 24-27 – Beginner Camp 2 [ages 8-10]. For more information, please call 701.674.3211 or 701.351.4835 or visit Inspiration Point Christian Camp + Retreat Center Located on Spitzer Lake, 90 minutes Southeast of Fargo/Moorhead, Inspiration Point offers an action-packed Christian camp experience for students in grades 1-12. Inspiration Point is known for its well-trained staff dedicated to quality service and care, modern accommodations, and excellent food service. Family camps are also available. Register online at www.ipoint. org or call 218.998.4572 for more information. DANCE Summer Mini Dance Camps Dance, music, activities, movement and more for all levels ages 3 and up is what you will find at Inspire Dance & Wellness Studios [1700 32nd Ave S #5, Fargo]. Sessions run June 6-8 & 13-15; July 11-13 & 18-20; August 8-10 & 15-17.Cost is $129/camp. For more information contact 701.356.3200 or or visit SPORT

American Gold Gymnastics Offering classes for kids ages 18 months to 18 years. Classes develop physical awareness, work on coordination, balance, listening skills, fine and gross motor skills and incorporate lots of fun! For more info, www. or 701.280.0400. Camp Summer Splash At Camp Summer Splash our campers will experience a variety of water activities. Campers, ages 6-11, will learn new swimming techniques and water safety. From swimming and diving to creating waves at the water park campers will have an outstanding time with new friends and staff. Come create a splash this summer at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 1-5, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

Diving Camp at MSUM Improve your diving skills July 31-August 5 or August 7-12 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Open to competitive divers who are looking for a new experience using dry-land equipment, 3 meter boards, and high quality coaching. Contact 218.477.2313 for more information. Spectacular Sports Camp Spectacular Sports Camp will explore the wide world of sports at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 15-19, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. From soccer to racquetball campers, ages 6-11, will experience all aspects of the game in a positive and encouraging environment. This camp will focus on teamwork, sportsmanship and giving your best effort at all times. Join the Family Wellness team this summer at Spectacular Sports Camp! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or] or visit Super Summer Sports Camp This sports camp is packed with fun for campers of all ability levels, ages 6-11. Campers will learn and play sports of all sorts in a positive and encouraging environment at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 20-24, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. This camp will focus on teamwork, sportsmanship and giving your best effort at all times. Campers will learn new skills, make new friends and have a blast exploring new sports and activities. Come join our Super Summer Sports Camp to start your summer out with a Homerun! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or] or visit Swim Camp at MSUM Improve your swimming skills June 12-17 or June 19-24 on the MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN. Open to competitive swimmers age 8 through high school. Our camps focus on technique improvement for already proficient swimmers and fun. For more information, contact Katie at SELF Breaking the Mold This girls’ empowerment camp will focus on increasing confidence, leadership skills and becoming bolder in our decisions with a focus on STEM, art, and entrepreneurship. We'll be designing and launching a "tidbits" for teen girls’ magazine as well as hearing inspiring stories from area women leaders. This magazine has aspects that range from science experiments, interviewing women leaders, learning about graphic design and technology, to researching community events and other teen interests. There really is a place for every girl in this camp! This half day camp will run from August 15-18, 9am-noon. This opportunity is being offered as part of

camps & activities Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $100. Contact for more information, or visit www. and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Camp Family Wellness Camp Family Wellness will provide an exciting, hands-on learning environment filled with activities and healthy choices. Campers, ages 6-11, will have the opportunity to take age appropriate Family Wellness fitness classes, healthy cooking classes, and create their own fun projects. This camp will also provide our campers with a variety of activities in the gym and our swimming pool at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 13-17, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Brighten your summer with Camp Family Wellness! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or] or visit Camp Foley Grow grit. Investigate independence. Kids converge on Camp Foley each summer from all over the world to put aside their phones and computers and work on face-to-face social skills, all the while trying new activities and taking risks in a safe, kid-friendly environment. With over 80 years of combined experience, the Camp Foley directors run a seasoned program that has been in operation for over 90 years. Whitefish Lake in North Central Minnesota offers the perfect backdrop for kids to reconnect with nature and learn from each other. Choose from 1, 2, 3 and 4 week sessions June 22-August 17. For more information, contact Alli [, 218.543.6161] or visit Camp Foley is an American Camp Association accredited camp.

beverages, and camp souvenirs. Campers are educated on real-life issues affecting their generation through hands-on lessons in volunteerism, government, cultural diversity, legislative process, mock trials, and patriotism. Held at Wesley Acres [near Valley City] and Heart Butte [near Elgin], sessions run June through August. 4 day, 3 night camps for grades 3-6: $100 cost; 5 day, 4 night camps for grades 7-12: $150 cost. Transportation provided. Registration now open. For more information, call 800.366.8331 or visit or www. No Bummer Summer TNT Kids Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] is offering weekly camps May 31 – August 19. You can expect weekly themes, fitness/gymnastic stations, sports & games, arts & crafts, pool, park, & field trips, educational lessons, healthy lunch & snacks, & more! For more information visit or email YMCA Camp Cormorant Enjoy the spirit and tradition of Camp Cormorant! Get the full camping experience with camps such as Water Ski, Adventure, Cooking, Horsemanship, Fishing, Ropes Course, Wilderness, Basketball, Canoe Trips, and more! Weekly Sessions run June 12 - August 12 for ages 7 - 15. www. Registration open until spots fill!​ EXPLORATION 12-Week Discovery Day Camp Students will discover their inner nerd with this summer-long day camp. Each week will have a different theme and students will have time in the

Camp Heroes for Youth with Diabetes Camp Heroes is flying in this summer to provide your child with an exciting opportunity to explore new heights at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] August 8-12, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. This camp is designed for children, ages 6-11, with diabetes to help them explore healthy opportunities through hands-on learning and play. Grab your cape, put on your mask and let’s blast off with Camp Heroes! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.] or visitwww.familywellnessfargo. com/schedules/.

I AM I CAN Summer Camp for Girls 2016 marks the 26th year of the "I AM I CAN" Summer Camp for Girls, a day camp held at the Academie Agencie in downtown Fargo. This camp is designed to be a fun and learning-filled week [M-F from 10am-5pm] where the camper will develop her self-confidence and self-expression. The camp is open to girls ages 9-13, running June 20-24 and August 1-5. The seminars and events are age appropriate and include but are not limited to, attitude, social graces, table etiquette, visual poise and presentation, modeling, fitness, confidence, building, skincare, and wardrobe. To register call 701.235.8132 or visit ND Farmers Union Camp At North Dakota Farmers Union camps, attendees learn about the cooperative business model by organizing and operating their own store and selling snacks, april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


camps & activities makerspace each day. Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Math will all be included! The time runs from 8am-5pm Monday through Friday. Snacks will be provided but students must bring their own lunch. This camp begins June 6th and runs until August 26th. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $250/ week. Contact for more information, or visit and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Camp Invention Created by the National Inventors Hall of Fame, Camp Invention is the only nationally recognized summer program focused on creativity, innovation, real-world problem solving and the spirit of invention. At Camp Invention, our top priority is to provide quality programming in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics. Our unrivaled program presents essential STEM concepts through the most creative hands-on activities. By combining learning and fun, we satisfy parents, educators and children, earning an approval rating of more than 90%. This program will run August 8-12, 9am-3:30pm. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $230. Contact for more information. Register at  College for Kids & Teens College for Kids & Teens is a summer camp program for students K-12, held on the beautiful MSUM campus in Moorhead, MN, June 13-16, June 20-23, July 11-14, and July 18-21. Expert instructors teach classes that encourage exploration, adventure, and creativity while cultivating an understanding and appreciation for a variety of topics including: science, art, technology, nature, writing, fitness and more!! Registration now open. For more information visit www. or contact Shireen at

Creative Builders Camp If your child likes a challenge and is always wondering “why?” come find out at Family Wellness Creative Builders Camp. Children, ages 6-11, will be able to create and experiment with a variety of fun hands-on science and engineering projects designed for kids at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 13-17, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]. Come explore why and how at Creative Builders Camp! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or] or visit Da Vinci Art Camp Leonardo Da Vinci was the inspiration for integrating science and art for this summer camp experience where we bring science and art ALIVE! Creativity will be the focus of this camp while exploring Leonardo himself while creating masterpieces with a variety of different mediums. This half day class runs Monday through Thursday, 9am-noon, June 27-30. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $115. Contact inspireinnovationlab@gmail.


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

com for more information, or visit www.inspireinnovationlab. org and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Family Wellness Camp Imagination This camp will provide an exciting, hands-on learning environment filled with activities and healthy choices. Campers, ages 6-11, will have the opportunity to dive into their imaginations through art projects and theatrical play. This camp will also provide our campers with a variety of activities in the gym and our swimming pool. Dream big with Family Wellness Camp Imagination at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 18-22, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit Forensics Camp Students will be introduced to the world of forensic science and uncover a series of "who dunnits" using current forensic techniques. They will use molecular biology to examine DNA left behind at the crime scene, learn blood typing, and perform fingerprinting just to name a few of the techniques students will learn in order to ID the culprit and figure out "who dunnit!” This half day camp is a partnership with the Sanford PROMISE program and will run July 6-8, 9amnoon. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $85. Contact inspireinnovationlab@gmail. com for more information, or visit www.inspireinnovationlab. org and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Minecraft Camp Minecraft is a 3D simulation game in which players work on their own, or collaboratively, to discover resources and use them to craft and build a unique world. This joint science and art camp will explore some basic Minecraft coding, free play, creating Minecraft characters out of recycled supplies, and designing Minecraft worlds through art. This half day camp will run from July 25-28, 9am-noon. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $115. Contact for more information, or visit and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Video Game Design Camp In the few years that have passed, computer systems have become friendlier to use making it easier for younger students and inexperienced game designers a chance to program their own games. In this four and a half day game camp, students will be introduced to what makes a good game, creating first layout of a story for their game, make music for their game, practice basic programming techniques for game design, then build and play each other’s game. It will wrap up with a parent showcase on Friday. This all day camp runs 9am-3:30pm beginning August 1st and will commence on August 5th with a parent showcase at noon. Snacks will be provided but students will need to bring their own lunch. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students

camps & activities and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $230. Contact for more information, or visit and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. Wild Wilderness Camp Explore the world around you this summer during the Wild Wilderness Camp. Kids, ages 6-11, will learn about different animals, climates, and even survival skills. Come find your wild side at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 25-29, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit Zombie Camp Zombies have invaded our summer camp! Grab your Nerf blaster to help save human kind! In this combined art and science camp, students will learn how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Campers learn the Biology and environment behind Zombie life as well as create beautiful zombie works of art. On the last day, campers are allowed to bring their Nerf guns with to try out all of the Zombie survival skills! This half day camp runs Monday through Thursday, 9am-noon, June 6-9. This opportunity is being offered as part of Inspire Lab's mission to provide creative learning experiences for teachers, students and the community. A limited number of scholarships are available. Fee is $115. Contact inspireinnovationlab@gmail. com for more information, or visit www.inspireinnovationlab.

org and click the registration link at the top of the page. Special Promo Code: OTMOM16 [10% discount]. NUTRITION Camp Fuel This camp will help dispel myths and media messages targeted at youth about nutrition, activity, body image and acceptance to promote a positive self-image and understanding of how our bodies use the “fuel” we eat and burn. Kids, ages 8-12, will have the chance to create a health promoting media message, tour local media stations, and much more all while being active, making friends, improving self-esteem, and having fun at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] July 11-15, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or] or visit Creative Cooking Camp Creative Cooking Camp is here to test your culinary skills. In this camp we will focus on creating healthy recipes and enhancing your skills and knowledge within the kitchen. Each child, ages 6-11, will be able to learn hands-on skills that will help bring out their inner chef. Come test your taste buds this summer at Family Wellness [2960 Seter Parkway, Fargo] June 6-10, from 9am-4pm [before and after care available]! Family Wellness and YMCA Members: $175/ Nonmembers: $195. Registration now open. For more info, contact Matt [701.234.7001 or matthew.melchior@sanfordhealth. org] or visit

For a Home Building EXPERIENCE Above All the Rest! “Urban Prairie Homes was truly a wonderful building experience for us! They found ways to work within our budget and keep the look we wanted in our home. By far our dream come true!” - Kurtis & Katie

“I love my new house and really like how it stands out from the others with some of the neat design work Joe and his team have done. Definitely would recommend them to anyone looking for a new house with character of its own.” - Mark

Check us out online!

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


Contact: Jenny Schuster 701.729.5851 | Park Co. Realtors 28 N 10th St, Fargo, ND 58102


rom Wahpeton, ND, Nikkie grew up an only child raised primarily by her dad. She moved to Fargo for work in 1990 at BCBSND after completing her college education [NDSCS]. Three short years later, she was ready for a new

adventure with Bobcat Company in its Fargo offices. Because she still didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up, she believed education was an ongoing process . . . so she completed two more degrees, A.A. at NDSCS and her Bachelor's at MSUM in Mass Communications with an emphasis in Advertising. Nikkie lived in the corporate world for many years and is now blessed to be home with her kids, Emily [10 years], Will [8 years], and Abby [6 years], while volunteering her time in many areas. How does this former Corporate Communications professional, and current CEO of Child Wrangling, VP of Family Calendars, PTA Guru [City Council President and ND State President-elect], Chauffeur, Entrepreneur, Mother, Daughter, Neighbor, Wife [to Greg], Domestic Engineer, Referee, Girl Scout Troop Leader, Coach, and All-Around Do-Gooder fill her spare time? Nikkie enjoys reading, paper crafting, and watching HGTV. Most who know her see that she is an optimist and a problem-solver, but most DON’T know that she’s been a trap shooter since high school and enjoys fishing.

photos: caitlin killoran photography  | caitlin killoran

nikkie gullickson age 45 | fargo.nd

mod mom

i can always count on…

my guilty pleasure is…

my kids to make me smile.

Chai Tea from NorthStar coffee…and chocolate!

nothing clears my mind like…

my favorite TV family of all time…

a boat ride around the lake on a beautiful, sunny day. almost everything!

Full House. Plenty of chaos and they don’t always agree, but they find a way to work it out and get along.

a mom must have…

one thing i would hate to run out of…

my dad was right about…

a sense of humor, patience [this can be developed!], and lots of hugs at the ready!

books! I love to read.

the best reason to be late…

when my kids use their manners without being prompted!

ummmmm…there really isn’t a good reason, but it’s usually something to do with my kids…crisis seems to strike when I’m going out the door.

best pinch-myself moment…

my best advice to my younger self… hang in there, it only gets better…wayyyyyy better!

my easy meal of choice… spaghetti.


Honoring the Past

Shaping the Future

Make sure you receive important school district information. Register your pre-kindergarten child at and select Community Census or call 218-284-3400.

Your Family Counts! BE COUNTED! april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


mod mom

my idea of a good date… a nice dinner and a movie.

favorite everyday moment… when my kids come home from school and share all they have learned and stories about the day.

i’m passionate about… education and the arts.

the thing i hated getting rid of, but never miss… cars! It’s hard for me to trade cars because I get attached to them [or maybe it’s the memories of that “slice” in my life]…but I don’t seem to miss them after the initial break up!

the person who has had the greatest influence on me… my Grandma Crystal [my dad’s mom] because she was my “rock” when I was growing up.


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

Essentia Health’s Life After Breast Cancer Conference is a day devoted to educating and empowering breast cancer survivors, their network of supporters, family and friends.

Conference Includes: Tuesday, June 14, 2016 Courtyard by Marriott | Moorhead 1080 28th Avenue South

Break-out sessions

Vendor fair

Keynote speaker Robin Getman

After-hours social

Door prizes

Meals, snacks and beverages

Tickets: $20 Sign up by April 30 and receive $5 off your registration. Promo Code: LABC5OFF

For more information and to register, visit:

Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] from 7pm-9pm. Cost: $10 per child, includes snack and craft.


Safe Kids Day 701.780.1856

Help strengthen families and prevent child abuse and neglect.


Easter Eggstravaganza 701.232.6102 Meet the Easter Bunny! Hop on over to the Extraordinary Egg Hunt at 11am, 1pm, & 3pm. Spring crafts, live chicks, and tons of other great family activities at the Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm [1201 28th Ave N, Fargo] starting at 10am.


Super Heroes Open Gym 701.365.8868 Super Heroes Open Gym theme for kiddos aged 5-14 at TNT Kid’s Fitness &

Beauty and the Beast 855.222.2849 www.

A day to learn more about keeping your kiddos safe! Interactive booths, child ID, safety demos, face painting and many, many prizes to give away and win. Safe Kids Day is from 10am-1pm at Century Elementary School [3351 17th Ave S, Grand Forks] Event is FREE!

Be enchanted by the FMBallet's spring production of Sleeping Beauty. The FMBallet company and area dancers will grace the stage at the Historic Fargo Theatre [314 Broadway N, Downtown Fargo]. Three performances are being offered; April 9 & 10 at 2:00pm and April 9 at 6:00pm. Tickets: Adults $20, Students $10.


11 & 12

Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.

Are your car seats installed correctly? Don't take the chance! This class is designed for expectant parents and focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Make an appointment and be at the Sanford Office Building [1711 S. University Dr, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8:30pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153


Gigantic Rummage Sale 701.433.5360 Over 190 vendors will be selling antiques, crafts, collectibles, closeout items, and garage-sale items at the Veterans’ Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo], 7am-2pm. Free parking. To register for a booth please contact the park office.

15 – 17

El Zagel Shrine Circus 701.241.9100 The Fargodome [1800 N University Dr, Fargo] will once again play host to the 2016 El Zagel Shrine Circus. Experience high-wire and trapeze acts, clowns, bears, elephants, cotton candy and much more.

15 & 22

Friday Night Races 701.780.0999 Cheer on your favorite drivers while Outlaw Sprints, Late Models, Midwest Modifieds, and Street Stocks all compete for the checkered flag on one of the best 1/3-mile dirt tracks in the nation.


Harlem Globetrotters 701.364.3672 The iconic Harlem Globetrotters are coming to the Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S,


Awesome Art Afternoon 701.499.7788 Love art but hate the mess? Bring your





Fargo] with their unrivaled family show, featuring some of the greatest athletes on the planet. With incredible ball handling wizardry, amazing rim-rattling dunks, trick shots, side-splitting comedy and unequaled on-court fan interaction, this must-see event is guaranteed to entertain the whole family creating memories that will last a lifetime. Ticket prices vary.


thinking about a

Baby’s First Ride 701.234.5570


Child Abuse Prevention Month

9 & 10


april events

Concessions will be available. $1 admission [17 & under free].


we are

worth the drive!


Friendly All Female Staff Accredited In-Office Operating Room

Learn more and see real before and afters at

w w w. d a r c y h o n e y c u t t . c o m 701. 5 3 0 . 8 4 5 0 O R 1. 8 8 8 . 4 3 0 . 3 2 2 3


D’A rcy A. Honeycutt, M.D., F.A.C.S.

Board Certified Female Plastic Surgeon


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

The mission of the Fargo Public Schools is to educate and empower all students to succeed. The Fargo Public Schools are committed to: • Believing that all students can learn and grow • Creating a supportive and positive school climate • Ensuring that all students receive effective, rigorous, and relevant instruction from highly qualified teachers • Engaging leadership in all student, parent, and community partnerships • Making data-driven decisions for continuous improvement For more information about Fargo Public Schools and its Strategic Plan, visit or call 701-446-1000.

child to Awesome Art Afternoon at the RDF Rec Center [1104 2nd St. Fargo]. Have fun while building a variety of take home arts and crafts from 1pm-3pm. Event is FREE.


Gold-N-Motion 701.280.0400 Don’t miss this opportunity to see why our local talent is considered some of the top competitive & show gymnasts in the country! Time TBD.


Child Passenger Safety Class 701.234.7233 Are your kids riding safely? This class is designed to give participants knowledge about correct use of car seats. This class meets licensing requirements for Minnesota child care and foster care providers. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary. $30/participant.

19 & 26

Youth Track Night Youth track is offered weekly in the spring at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo]. The activities are free, open to boys and girls ages 3-8, and no registration is required. Each week three track activities will be held for youth to participate in and Medals will be handed out on the

final night on May 3rd. Ages 3: 5:30pm, Ages 4-5: 6:15pm and Ages 6-8: 7:00pm.

rates apply. As always, Red River Zoo members receive free entry.


23 & 30

Ninja Warrior Open Gym 701.365.8868 Ninja Warrior Open Gym theme for kiddos aged 5-14 at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo] from 7pm-9pm. Cost: $10 per child, includes snack and craft.


Cyber Bowl 218.233.6153 Enjoy late night bowling with colored lights and music for all ages at Sunset Lanes [620 Hwy 75, Moorhead] starting at 10pm. $9/person, all you can bowl.


Party for the Planet 701.277.9240 Party for the Planet 2016 is the kick off summer event at the Red River Valley Zoo [4255 23rd Ave S, Fargo]. Party for the Planet is an all day celebration of Earth Day filled with fun celebrating conservation through fun activities, crafts, and animal encounters. The Zoo will be open from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm with all activities and animal encounters. Regular admission

are OUR business breakfast

April 26th, 2016 • 7:30 am

Ramada Plaza & Suites and Conference Center $ 65 individual tickets Table & event sponsorships available

Tickets available at:

april events

B.L.A.S.T Babysitter's Day Camp 701.364.1704 The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper-changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.


Kids Are Our Business Breakfast 701.293.7273 Join the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center for breakfast at the Ramada Plaza Suites in Fargo at 7:30am & help out a great cause. Seating is limited, so call today for ticket information! Table & event sponsorships available. Pre-registration encouraged.


Garden Party 701.499.7788

mood at this pre-summer event. Kids and parents will enjoy creating take-home garden arts and crafts and a Plant Petting Zoo at Rheault Farm [2902 25th St. S. Fargo] from 1:30pm-4:30pm. There will also be a bug hunt, face painting, plant walk, and more! Free admission!


Walk MS Ending multiple sclerosis for good will take all of us. It’s why Walk MS matters so much. Team up with friends, loved ones and co-workers to participate, raise funds and support the more than 17,000 people living with MS in MN, IA, SD and ND. Get registered and come out to Veterans Memorial [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo] beginning at 9am, and take your first step towards freeing loved ones of MS.

Kids and parents, get in the gardening

SUMMER PROGRAMS for K-12 Students MSU Moorhead offers 7 weeks of summer programs for all ages. COLLEGE FOR KIDS & TEENS 4 Weeks of Engaging Courses | Morning & Afternoon Sessions June 13-16 | June 20-23 | July 11-14 | July 18-21 Classes include arts, science, technology, fitness, nature, computers and much more! HIGH SCHOOL CAREER CAMPS Multimedia Journalism Camp June 27-30 Coding Camp July 25-28

Learn more at

24-Hour Crisis Line: (701) 293-7273 or (800) 344-7273 317 N. 8th Street, Fargo, ND 58102 •

Minnesota State University Moorhead is an equal opportunity educator and employer and is a member of the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities system.

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


SCRUBS Camp (residential) July 31-August 5

may events 3

Youth Track Night Youth track is offered weekly in the spring at the Veterans Memorial Arena [1201 7th Ave E, West Fargo]. The activities are free, open to boys and girls ages 3-8, and no registration is required. Each week three track activities will be held for youth to participate in and Medals will be handed out. Ages 3: 5:30pm, Ages 4-5: 6:15pm and Ages 6-8: 7:00pm.


Countdown to Summer Open Gym 701.365.8868

7 & 14

B.L.A.S.T. Babysitter's Day Camp 701.364.1704 The initial course for teens and pre-teens on the responsibilities of caring for children. They will learn CPR and first aid for children, as well as diaper changing techniques. They will also learn when to call 911 and what will happen if they do need emergency assistance. The course is designed for young babysitters ages 11–15. Limited space. Register online.


Happy Mom’s Day! Enjoy your day…all day!

9 & 16

CPR/AED – Heartsaver 701.364.1704 This course covers basic adult, child and infant CPR plus how to use an AED [Automated External Defibrillator]. Class starts at 7pm and is held at F-M Ambulance Service [2215 18th St S, Fargo]. $50 fee.

Drop your kiddos [ages 5-14] at TNT Kid’s Fitness & Gymnastics [2800 Main Ave, Fargo]

from 7pm-9pm to burn some energy and gear up for Summer. Cost is $10 per kiddo with snack and craft included.

9 & 18

Baby’s First Ride 701.234.5570 This "Baby's First Ride" class focuses on infant car seats for newborns. Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers are encouraged to attend. We recommend attending this class during the 6-7 months of pregnancy, but welcome during any month of pregnancy. Participants are encouraged to bring their car seat if they have already bought one, however it is not necessary. Make an appointment be at the Sanford Auditorium [801 Broadway North, Fargo] between 6:30pm-8:30pm. Space is limited. Pre-registration is necessary.

10, 17, 24 & 31 Party in the Park 701.499.7788

Meet your neighbors at this fun family event 5:30pm-8pm. Sing your favorite karaoke song, play on inflatable games, take home a craft project and get your face painted. Enjoy free food while supplies last. May 10th @ Centennial Park [4101 25th St S, Fargo], May 17th @ Roosevelt Park [1220 9th St N, Fargo], May 24th @ Lewis & Clark Park [1807 16th St S, Fargo] and May 31st Village West Park [4415 9th Ave Circle S, Fargo].


Hershey District Youth Track Meet 701.499.6060 It’s the District State Qualifying Track and Field Meet for boys and girls ages 7-14 as of December 31, 2016. Events include: 50, 100, 200, and 400meter dash, 4 x 100meter relay, 800 and 1600 meter run, standing long jump and softball throw. Head out to Fargo South High Track [2001 17th Ave S, Fargo] for a 5pm check-in and 6pm start time. The first two places in each event will advance to the Hershey State Track Meet.


Fargo Marathon This year you can Run Fargo & Rock Fargo at the 2016 Fargo Marathon! Known by thousands for being one of the Fastest & Friendliest races on the calendar, It also rocks like none other. It’s a race for everyone... kids, adults, walkers and runners. Come out and experience it firsthand. or call (701) 231-5495 or visit


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

20 &21

Junk Market 701.356.6600


Summer Grind 701.499.7788

Head to the Scheels Arena [5225 31st Ave S, Fargo] and look for treasures to take home as you browse repurposed furniture, vintage décor & handmade crafts. Regular admission is $5. Cash or check only and Children 12 and under are free. Early Bird admission is $20. Purchase online before event.

The Summer Grind Exhibition at Dike West [310 4th St S, Fargo] provides divisions for 13 & under and 14 & up participants. Participants are required to wear a helmet and should bring their own skateboard. Prizes will be given to participants in each division. Registration begins at 4:30pm with a start time of 5pm.



Nature Adventure 701.499.7788 Bring the family out for a fun afternoon outdoors to Forest River Property [76th Ave S & Red River, Fargo], 12:00pm-2:00pm. Visit with Don the Bug Guy, a Zoo keeper from the RR Zoo, learn about trees, nature and rivers from the City of Fargo Forestry, Audobon Society and River Keepers, Make nature arts and crafts and learn about planting and gardening from the Girl Scouts and much more.

Alive at 25 701.223.6372 Vehicle crashes are the No. 1 cause of death for young adults ages 14-24! Help protect your young driver by enrolling him or her in Alive at 25, an interactive classroom course that encourages young drivers to take responsibility for their driving behavior to keep them safe on the road. All classes are held at Altru Psychiatry Center, Room 201 [860 S. Columbia Rd – Grand

All event listings displayed within OTMOM are carefully selected to provide diverse options for families. It is always a good idea to call ahead to confirm the information provided. Although it is not possible to list every event happening in the FM area, we encourage organizations to submit events for consideration to

Forks] from 4pm-8:30pm. Registration is required.

may events


Women’s Health Conference Workshops The Women’s Health Conference Workshops are tailored for on-the-go women to propel your journey toward health. Enjoy Natural Running Workshop with Melanie Carvell, PT at 1pm and STREZZ FREE Workshop with Zonya Foco, RD, CHFI, CSP at 3:15pm at the Ramada Plaza Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo]. Tickets are $25.


Women’s Health Conference A powerful day with experts, speakers and educators whose mission is to coach, motivate and rejuvenate you towards a healthier life. Take a journey with us – nurture with self-focus, connect through conversation, and educate through sharing. Appreciate your mind, body and spirit 7:30am–4:30pm at the Ramada Plaza Suites [1635 42nd St S, Fargo]. Tickets are $45.


FM Redhawks Home Opener 701.235.6161 Get to Newman Field and catch the home opener for the FM Redhawks as they take on the Wichita Wingnuts.


Memorial Day Remember those we’ve lost and those who gave their lives for us and our country.


Movie Night 701.499.7788 Bring a blanket, pillow or lawn chair and enjoy a family friendly movie when the sun goes down at Yunker Farm Park [1201 28th Ave N, Fargo] Movie will be announced at

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms



elanie Fierstine, 39, grew up in the small town of Northwood, ND, where she was raised on the family farm in a family of seven, who all—amazingly—shared one bathroom. She considers herself an active person, dancing

and running cross country in high school and later half and full marathons into her adult years. It wasn’t only athletics that drove her. For the past 17 years Melanie has practiced Social Work and currently is the Children’s Action Network Coordinator for the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center. She finds a great deal of satisfaction working with families and kids of all ages in all situations. As the Director of the Moorhead Just For Kix dance program and the coach of the Moorhead High School Dance Team for the past 11 years, it wasn’t all that crazy when by chance she was offered an opportunity. While teaching classes at the fitness studio the previous owner asked if Melanie would be interested in taking it over. GroupFit: She didn't hesitate and says GroupFit has been a whirlwind of invaluable learning experience. With the support of her husband, Duane, step-son Chris, 23, step-daughter Madison, 21, daughter Emmie, 12, and their two crazy dogs, Milton and Junior, Melanie knows she will continue her life work making a difference for others and enjoying every minute of owning a fitness studio and helping those people she comes into contact with on a daily basis.

photos: caitlin killoran photography  | caitlin killoran

melanie fierstine


what is GroupFit? GroupFit is a studio that offers a wide variety of group fitness classes. These include XaBeat [dance fitness], Pulse Pyramid, Cardio Blast, Buns and Guns, Extreme Challenge, Hot Body Sculpt, Total Body Conditioning, Tabata, and several other formats. Our belief is that there is strength in numbers. When you have a group of people who sweat together, cheer each other on, and look forward to seeing one another in class, members are more likely to regularly attend and challenge themselves.

mom preneur

everything, as there are only so many hours in a day, but I will add that to the next day and the next day, etc., until the task is completed.

what is the one quality you have that makes you a great motivator? I am an extremely outgoing, energetic person; it is my genetic make-up. I enjoy moving, being active, and inspiring others to do the same. It is my passion to help others succeed and become the best people they can be.

Your Pe


what is your fitness background? I am a certified XaBeat Inspirator, Director, and Corporate Choreographer. My earlier fitness passions have been both running and dance. A few years ago knee and ankle injuries forced me to end running long distances, so that is when I pursued my XaBeat certification.

what do you want your participants to take away from your classes? We strive to have members walk away from classes feeling reenergized and excited to face their days. Our clients become our family. We get to know each and every person who walks through the studio doors. We know about their families, their work, their successes, their struggles, and we do our best to add strength, health, and happiness to their lives. It is a true blessing to be able to laugh, cry, sweat, and most of all have FUN with our members.


Best Friend

I am a very busy person who wears many hats, so I must be organized at all times. The age-old daily list is my most useful organizational tool. I end my day by writing out a list of things that need to be accomplished the next day and check each item off when it has been completed. I don’t always get to

Visit us at our new state-of-the-art facility!

701 .282.2898

816 M e y e r D r i v e , W e s t F a r g o w w w. w e s t f a r g o a n i m a l h o s p i t a l . c o m Request an appointment online!

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


what is your biggest productivity secret that helps you stay on task?

mompreneur what advice do you have for a mom considering the mompreneur title? My best advice is to take it one day at a time. In the beginning, it can be overwhelming managing a business and family, but each small positive step you take will get you where you want to be. Patience and persistence are paramount in owning your own business. Also, having family support, encouragement, and help when needed is conducive to a positive experience.

is there a misconception of the fitness industry?

a week. We have a variety of fruits and vegetables on hand at all times and eat mostly lean meats. I modify recipes using almond butter, coconut oil, and coconut flour, among other things, to make our meals healthier when I can. Of course, we love our splurge meals [pizza, diet Coke, and tortilla chips are my down fall], but we eat those in moderation. Our family is extremely active and we enjoy the outdoors and moving our bodies as much as possible.

what advice can you share with families to help kids with body image?

I think sometimes people believe exercise to be tedious and boring. It doesn’t have to be that way. Our formats include variety to meet all fitness levels, personal goals, and interests. All moves are modifiable and paired with upbeat music to get clients excited about being there. Members walk out the door feeling empowered and wanting more.

I always tell the young dancers I teach and my own daughter that God makes us in all shapes and sizes. It’s what we put in our bodies that matters and that we get some physical activity in each day to help us feel alert and healthy. It’s not about how you look on the outside but how you feel on the inside. When you are a kind person and take care of yourself physically and emotionally, you shine!

how do you promote healthy living in your own home?

away from work what might we find you doing for fun?

We eat quite healthy and work out five to six days

I am always reading and consider myself a life-long


Summer Adventure A fun, active & faith centered

11 weeks of Adventures

Foster parents can be married or single. They can own or rent a home. They need to have the time, space, and heart to give a child a home. We have a special need for diverse foster parents and those wanting to work with adolescents.

Please contact us at 701-239-6809 or visit us at 26

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

May 31 – Aug 12 for students entering K - Grade 6 FOR MORE INFORMATION Lori Hager, Admissions Director 701.893.3271










learner. I will never know it all or profess expertise in any one thing. Our family spends weekends from May to October at the lake boating, swimming, skiing, tubing, and kayaking. Winter months are spent coaching and traveling with the Moorhead High Dance Team to competitions around the state.

anything else you would like to share? If you are hesitant about group fitness and are not sure what you may or may not enjoy, grab a friend and come give us a try. Your first week is FREE!

GroupFit 1800 21st Ave S, Fargo [lower level of Catalyst Medical Center] Go to to view current schedule. 218.329.7531 [Melanie] or 218.329.7177 [Melissa]


lemon drops photography & design

caitlin killoran photography

exposures by j. linnea

expressions by ashton photography

rialee photography

No time to shop, but love to save money? It’s easy and convenient, with our personal one-on-one shopping service.

expressions by ashton photography

Call 701.212.1567 today & book a FREE 1 hour appointment with our Personal Shopper!

The process is super easy, plus we have a play room for kid’s over age 3. AND, you will get 15% OFF your purchases in April & May!

Bring a friend, and freshen up your Spring wardrobes! 701.212.1567

1617 32nd Avenue South, Fargo

Quality. Value. Variety.

Sizes 0 to 2X, Petites, & Women’s Sizes

lemon drops photography & design

caitlin killoran photography

exposures by j. linnea

shop talk

never too old for a beautiful smile considering orthodontic care as an adult appreciate your mind body spirit

8 – 4 pm May 23 | $45 | Ramada Plaza Suites | Fargo Zonya Foco, RD, CHFI, CSP Fats, Carbs, Sugar, Gluten; will the real culprit please stand up?

Amy Dee, RN says your potential for great happiness lies in your everyday choices.

Give yourself a gift join in activity and conversation focused on you, your wellness, nutrition and fitness. Continue in confidence with tools for a stronger, healthier, happier you! Register: 30

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

Melanie Carvell, PT provides a practical blueprint to equip you to fit movement and joy into your days. Check out the workshops: Natural Running Workshop 1 – 3 PM & STREZZ FREE Workshop 3:15 – 5:15 PM, Sunday, May 22 | $25 or $45 for both



/womenshealthconference #WHCFargo

shop talk story by  |  dr. jeffrey harvey & dr. matthew ames


smile…a beautiful smile. Don’t you love a good smile? Whether it’s a chubby-faced six-month old, your college bestie you haven’t seen in forever, or grandpa at the family reunion, a smile can warm your soul. So how do you feel about your smile? Do you love it? Are there aspects you wish were different? Have you thought about making changes, but been resistant simply because you’re “too old for braces?” Nonsense! A healthy, beautiful smile is timeless and there is no better time than NOW, and here’s why: reason #1…your health Research has shown that poor dental health can affect more than just your teeth. Cardiovascular and gastrointestinal issues, TMJ and facial-pain problems, airway and sleep issues, low birth-weight babies, and inflammatory processes throughout the body are a few systemic health problems that have been reported in relation to poor dental health. And never to be underestimated are problems with psychological well-being due to self-esteem and confidence issues. Orthodontics is a branch of dentistry that specializes in treating patients with malocclusion, which is the improper positioning of the teeth when the mouth is closed, resulting in an improper bite. Adult patients have many different motivations for pursuing orthodontic treatment. They may have had years of functional problems, or a malocclusion that has resulted in heavy dental wear and tear. They may have TMJ issues and facial pain or

periodontal problems secondary to a malocclusion. Or they may simply not like the appearance of their teeth. Traditionally, orthodontics simply corrected problems with tooth position. Today’s orthodontic treatment is more comprehensive and addresses facial balance as well as tooth-related problems.  Adjuncts such as facial surgery, periodontal surgery, and dental restorations [veneers, implant crowns, etc.] help patients reach desired facial and smile outcomes. reason #2…choices Braces are the common tool of the trade for an orthodontist. But it’s important to know that orthodontic technologies have advanced over the years to allow for shorter treatment time, less frequent visits, and more esthetic braces. Options for braces include traditional metal braces and translucent porcelain braces for the front of the teeth, as well as lingual braces that attach to the backs of the teeth, which are especially popular with our adult patients.  We also offer clear polymer aligners, which are almost invisible. reason #3…investment Adults typically find pursuing orthodontics extremely rewarding. Of course, there is a financial commitment to orthodontic treatment, but it is also a means of investing in yourself. At Harvey & Ames Orthodontic we help our patients achieve their orthodontic goals by offering interest-free financing, flexible payment plans, family member discounts and by assisting in filing to all private dental insurance companies..

Love Hope Family

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


shop talk A new smile can give you a tremendous boost in confidence, which can then improve many different aspects of your personal and professional life. Over and over again we have seen adult patients coming out of their shells and embracing life in a whole new way after completing orthodontic treatment. So are you ready? If seeking orthodontic treatment has entered your mind, now is the time to act. Schedule a consultation today!

evidence-based approach to orthodontics, and achieve dazzling results. Whether our patients come to us because they would love to have a more gorgeous smile, because they are experiencing pain, or because they are having difficulty with their bite or jaws, we strongly believe in the power of orthodontics to change lives.

Harvey & Ames Orthodontics 1550 30th Ave S, Moorhead 218.236.1322

At Harvey & Ames Orthodontics, our patients come to us with high expectations, and we deliver with amazing results and an outstanding experience! Dr. Harvey and Dr. Ames believe in a patient-centered,

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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


gettin’ through it

mad at God? story by  |  heather bjur ma, lmft


he put her baby down to sleep for the third time that night. As soon as she left the nursery, her four-year old started yelling, “Mommy! Mommy!” from the next room. It was 4:30am, and with three hours of sleep so far, her mind was screaming, “God! Can’t you make them sleep?!?! You’re the Maker of the Universe and 34

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

you can’t make my children sleep!????!!! I’m going to lose my mind, and you’re no help!” She sighed heavily as she pulled the covers up over her preschooler, thankful he was back to sleep with a simple hug and a backrub. As she trudged back to her own bed, now cold from her vacancy, the thoughts swirled in her mind, “I have to get up in two hours, how am I going to make it through my day…I forgot to

gettin’ through it pick up diapers and there’s one left…I’m supposed to have a date with my husband on Friday—I wonder if sleeping in the minivan counts as a date…employee reviews are due for my entire team this week…how, how, HOW can I ever keep up?!” “God, I don’t even know if I believe you’re there anymore, but if you are, I need help.” In her exhausted, slightly depressed, significantly overwhelmed, and scarily anxious heart, she didn’t have much hope He would provide the help she longed for. I speak with moms all the time who live these exact scenarios, day after day, who pray pleading, anxious prayers in the midst of anxiety, stress, post-partum depression, and strained marriages. Who feel pushed and pulled in 47,000 directions, unable to connect to anything meaningful, including both God and their husbands. As the days drudge by with seemingly no answer or help from God, sadness mixed with anger sets in and they stop believing He even cares.

will not slumber.” We must not base our beliefs on our feelings, but on truth. When we arm ourselves with these truths, it can move us on to the next question, ‘so how do I pray? I feel totally mad at God, like He’s abandoned me.’ I often ask, “Have you told Him that?” Many will reply, “Well, not really.” It feels sort of illegal to TELL God you’re mad at Him. At least it did to me! As you read these words, know that they are not hollow nor patronizing words…they are not tips to help you ‘feel better.’ These are taken from

One of the basic questions we must tackle is, ‘where is God?’ because it can feel like He’s left the building. We can go to the Bible and know that He has not left, nor has He stopped caring. While it certainly can feel that way, He will never abandon us. These very words are found in Deuteronomy 31:6: “Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” We also know that even though it can feel as though you’re alone, He is ALWAYS on the job, for Psalm 121:3 states, “He will not let your foot slip – He who watches over you

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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


gettin’ through it moments of my own life, where I worked out my anger I often illustrate for people what it might sound like to at God [for so many things I’ve lost count!] until I wasn’t tell God you’re angry at Him. It could sound like this: angry anymore. And that not only changes your interior “God, I’ve had this idea that you’re supposed to make world, it changes your relationships as well [including, things easy, or better, or tolerable! And my life has been and most importantly, your relationship with Him]. NONE of those things! I struggle and try and work and fight, yet it seems that I’m the only one doing anything. Aren’t you supposed to help me?! I feel like I’m on my own. What the hell, God?! Where are you?”

being really real—i often use the word ‘raw’—with God is a huge first step. as long as we try to pretend we’re somewhere we aren’t, we will never move out of our anger or helplessness or anxiety or…start where you are.

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

Many will say they feel guilty about praying like that, so we talk through that, and slowly I start to see them moving towards a real relationship – being real with God, who knows how we feel anyway, but wants us to tell Him. Being really real—I often use the word ‘raw’—with God is a huge first step. As long as we try to pretend we’re somewhere we aren’t, we will never move out of our anger or helplessness or anxiety or…start where you are. When you find yourself close enough to a God who can handle your anger; when you sense He’s not getting rid of you for being really real; when you feel like you can be messy and upset and have a bit of hope that

Providing protection since 1985 He’s going to somehow hold your soul together during sleepless nights and late meetings and no diapers and dates that weren’t half as enjoyable as they used to be, then you start to find that maybe it’s not about life going well, but about knowing well the One who keeps the stars and counts the hairs on your head, who knows you intimately and thoroughly, and still loves you anyway. That kind of intimacy is anxiety-demolishing, depression-smashing, and anger-busting and it’s always, always, always there. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Originally from northern Iowa, Heather [a UNI alum] and hubby, Chris [an NDSU alum], joke about having a friendly rivalry right in their own home. She practices marriage and family therapy at Valley Christian Counseling Center in Fargo, where her areas of interest include marital and premarital counseling, anxiety, depression, codependency, life transitions, and spiritual direction. Heather is a regular guest on KVLY's North Dakota Today Show where she offers her expertise on relationships and emotional health. When she's not conducting therapy sessions, she's playing Legos, reading books, and being personal chauffeur to her two sweet boys, Elijah [7] and Ezra [5]. Heather knew she wanted to be a writer all the way back in the third grade and this year plans to finish writing her first book.


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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


oh, by the way

humble mom

story by  |  deb uglem


and furious and they always start with the good ones. Like me fake sleeping [a skill that I fine-tuned when my kids screamed all night] when the four of them were sneaking into my room. I would “wake up” to their smiling faces holding my breakfast-in-bed gift and enjoy those cold eggs, burnt toast, and warm diet Pepsi. Years filled with handmade cards with messages affirming my cooking skills and my stunning good looks. Well, maybe not stunning good looks but it never failed one of those cuties would write ‘My mom is prity.’ I was even proud of the misspellings.

heard loud voices coming from the boys’ room. I walked in to see all three of them sitting up in bed. They had one of those super cool [space saving], inexpensive [free from my sister] bunk beds that have the twin-size top bunk and double-size bottom bunk. I always thought they looked so cute in that red metal bed. They should have been sleeping, so I walked in with a stern look and asked why they were still up. My oldest replied while, pointing at his brother. “He said a bad word. It’s really mean, Mom. He should get in trouble. It’s the ‘S’ word!” There were concerned looks everywhere. I asked what ‘S’ word they were referring to and gave them the go ahead to say the word just once. Two of the boys yelled, “STUPID!” while the third avoided eye contact. Of course I recited all the right mom statements: you have to be nice and we don’t talk like that. I finished with letting them know I would let this go one time and kissed them all goodnight. I managed to get out of the room without laughing. That night I went to bed with happy thoughts. I am raising kind, nice kids. I was so proud of them and, of course, myself for my wonderful, amazing parenting. [Insert shout out to Dad.]

But over the years, when I felt the most in control, a couple months, weeks, or even days later the kids would turn 180 degrees. One spring I purchased tree-face garden décor. I thought the kids would love the idea that the tree came to life with eyes, nose, and mouth. The four of them would play around the tree for hours. Wow, I have done it again; the best $20 I had ever spent. Wouldn’t you know, those same kind boys told their sister that the tree could talk, but only to nice kids and not mean little girls. They kept this up for months until she came in crying, asking me, “Mom, do you think I am a mean little girl?” I had no idea!

This example was years ago, but every year around Mother’s Day the mommy memories come to me fast

Most of the time I pride myself on my well-behaved kids. When they were young I would listen with a smile on


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

oh, by the way my face as friends, strangers, and restaurant waiters commented on their manners. Of course, those individuals didn’t make it to that hockey game. The game where for the first time I saw that same blue-eyed little boy who felt so bad about saying the ‘S’ word say the ‘F’ word in the direction of another player. My jaw dropped and I think I turned red and immediately started to make excuses in my head. Must be from the locker room—no way he heard that at home, right? I hate to admit it but he wasn’t the only family culprit and I think maybe it happened more than once. If I have learned anything over my years as a mother it is that parenting is the most humbling of professions. I went into motherhood with the perfect ideals, as I am sure most parents do. Statements like ‘I will never do that,’ turned out to describe things I would do twice a day. It was as if I was on an episode of Survivor and I would be voted off the island if I didn’t adapt and work the system, so to speak. I realize now my parenting years have been filled with contradiction. I would never let the twins sleep in their car seats overnight—oops, that happened in the first three months of their lives. I also know there would be a collective gasp amongst many if I announced that I fed my oldest cereal at six weeks old. What can I say? I thought the guy was hungry. I even sent baby girl to preschool an extra two days a week when I wasn’t even working. Yep, I just needed some free time. So basically I have been humbled every day by some idea or thought of how I have parented and how maybe I should have done something different.

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Raised in Finley, ND, Deb has called the Fargo - Moorhead area her home for the last 14 years. A graduate of Drake University in Des Moines, IA, with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications, she is currently Marketing & Communications Director for Wanzek Construction. Deb welcomes the pleasant distraction that writing brings and thanks her children, Jake [22], Tony [21], Nick [21], and Emily [19] for inspiration. Deb and her husband Tim like to spend their free time with their kids and on the golf course.



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This Mother’s Day I am celebrating that being a mother has been the biggest joy, most fun, panic stricken, heartbreaking, hardest adventure I have ever had. Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of no longer being in control while at the same time wanting to be in complete control. I would love to tell you this feeling ends the older they get but that hasn’t been true for me. My kids continue to give me moments of pride followed by a serving of humble pie. On this holiday I find it fitting to quote one famous mother. Mother Teresa said, “Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted, and ardent.” See? We are fine. Happy Mother’s Day! For free recipes and information on soyfoods, call 1-888-469-6409 or email

growing. april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


food for thought

spring greens with basil vinaigrette

photo: thuen studios | scott thuen

shared by  |  kari klingsporn hitterdal


ere’s an easy and bold-flavored salad that has a beautiful spring green color we’ve been waiting for all winter! Bring this salad to a Mother’s Day brunch, include it in a care package for a new mama, or enjoy for a weekday lunch. Kids like this salad because it includes familiar foods like apples, but adults like it for the crisp flavors. It takes minutes to make, but looks and tastes like you spent an hour in the kitchen.

you need: 1 cup fresh basil ¼ cup sugar ½ cup cider vinegar 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon black pepper 1 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1 package spring greens [57 oz.] 1 cup dried cherries

½ to 1 cup crumbled gorgonzola or feta cheese ½ cup toasted pecans ½ green apple, thinly sliced and tossed with a bit of fresh lemon juice to prevent browning

how to: 1. Pulse in food processor or blender the first 6 ingredients [basil through oil] until well blended. 2. Combine the greens, cherries, cheese, pecans, and apples together in large serving bowl. 3. Toss in dressing immediately before serving. Enjoy!

feeding your family TIP: care package for the new mama A sure sign of spring is all those adorable baby bumps that have come uncovered since we’ve shed our winter gear. In honor of Mother’s Day, whether for a first-time mom to fifth-time parents, a new mama and her family would love for you to bring them a care package instead of another onesie for a gift. [Although, come to think of it, you can never have enough onesies!] A special care package filled with practical things like meals and healthy snacks and fun items like wine or a movie is useful and meaningful for those early days of parenthood. This could be a group effort with a few friends to keep the price down and delegate the work. here’s what you need: Some ideas to include in your care package are a meal [a nutritious main dish, a side or salad, and dessert], healthy snacks for the family [precut vegetables and a healthy dip or homemade hummus are great], a gift for mom and dad, such as a movie or a gift card for takeout from a favorite restaurant [perhaps a gift for baby, too], some celebratory wine, beer, or sparkling apple cider, and top it off with flowers and a card to make it personal and extra special. how to: Find a container large and sturdy enough to hold your care package items. This could be as simple [and cheap] as a sturdy cardboard box wrapped in fabric or pretty wrapping paper. Maybe a wooden crate from a wine shop or from a big-box home improvement store, or a new storage tote; all would be suitable and useful. Consider lining the bottom with some tissue paper, a baby blanket, new tea towels…anything that will prevent the contents from sliding around in the box. Put your items in the box and deliver to the grateful new mom! Kari's passion for food, family, and fun has been with her since her upbringing on her beloved Big Floyd Lake near Detroit Lakes, MN. She earned Secondary Education degrees in both Social Studies and English from Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. She enjoyed a brief stint as a caterer and cooking instructor, but has proudly spent most of her motherhood as a stay-at-home mom. Her husband, Brent, and three children, Gunnar, Ava, and Ella, have all [mostly] been eager taste testers to whatever is on the table for dinner. However, these days, having a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a second grader is providing new challenges of feeding everyone homemade and healthy meals, as well as giving her oven an intense workout most weeknights!


rom Proctor, MN, a small town next to Duluth, Gary grew up being influenced by his father and uncles as members of the Proctor Volunteer Fire Department. He attended the University of Wisconsin-Superior and

Duluth Technical College, earning an AA Degree in Fire Science and Administration. Gary would later work for Minnesota Department of Natural Resources and the U.S. Forest Service as a Wildland Firefighter, and for the Cedar Rapids, IA, Fire Department, before he found his current home as a Captain with the City of Moorhead Fire Department. Gary and Heather, wife of nearly 20 years, and their daughter Alicia [14], have traveled to many places around the world and have found the many events and shenanigans that take place on their 13 acres of land in Crystal Hills by Pelican Rapids, MN, to be some of the best times spent together. When Gary isn’t on call you can find him bow hunting, snowmobiling, fishing, attending music fests, and building things.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

gary larsen age 46,

you would never catch me…

i’m not a big fan of…

killing time.

heavy-metal music.

rad dad

i’m not embarrassed to admit…

last song i sang to out loud…

I get caught watching Lifetime movies.

Much too Young to Feel this Dam Old [Garth Brooks].

the habit i would like to break…

something I’m proud of myself for doing…

November 2015 I quit a 30-year tobacco habit.

my Father’s eulogy.

the one gadget i can’t live without…

my profession gives me…

I am not a gadget guy; I still use a slide phone. But the tool I could not live without would be my chainsaw.

great pride and satisfaction, along with some money to have fun!


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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


rad dad

the daddy-do i have mastered…

three things on my bucket list…

when Alicia was little I would hold her in one arm and vacuum.

zip line across the Royal Gorge in Colorado, Richard Petty NASCAR Driving Experience, and a Barefoot Cruise on a sailboat in the Caribbean.

my daughter has my… eyes.

the quote i most relate to…

the parenting rule i always seem to break…

Frank Sinatra, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat: “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

ice cream is a suitable replacement for all meals.


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

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embrace well = be well april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


just a thought

time & love story by  |  kathleen wrigley


hen bad things happen our knee-jerk reaction is often ‘why?’ or ‘how?’ We know that it’s not a useful question, but in our stunned state, human beings try to impose order. We want things to make sense.

After the initial shock we wonder, ‘what on earth am I to do with this?’ But patience can bring perspective because, so often, through the chaos meaningful, bountiful blessings are revealed. Our community, swathed in blue, is grieving. Webster’s dictionary defines grief as a “deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death.” For Police Officer Jason Moszer’s family, for his brothers and sisters in law enforcement, and for those who loved this man, their grief journey is different from other tragic sudden deaths.


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

In my pre-motherhood life, I was a therapist and specialized in grief counseling. I have counseled many families through horrific loss. Grief is compounded when the death is violent, untimely, and sudden. When there is a willful or intentional taking of a human life by another individual, the sense of shock and disbelief is suffocating. The family’s world is shaken to its core, and their senses of safety and security vanish. Oftentimes, overwhelmed by grief, confusion, and a vacuum of information, families have reported being afraid for their own lives. This grief is amplified when the death is a highly publicized incident. Our North Dakota reporters are also our neighbors and they’re well-intentioned, but they have a job to do and have the pressure of competing with other news outlets for side-stories and interesting

just a thought angles. An unintended consequence is that we’re saturated with the story. The family is encased in the constant barrage of news accounts and the details play out in their minds over and over and over again. For most families of murder victims nighttime and darkness may be terrifying and lonely. Sleep is not a refuge and they may dread bedtime. It is typical for family members to replay the horrible vividness of the incident in the quiet of the night. When sleep does come, these families are almost always assured of night tremors, and often report replaying the violent act in dreams while urging another outcome. They’ve lost control of their lives, and are trying—in their sleep—to regain some power in an intensely unmanageable situation. Nothing makes sense. They’re bewildered and confused and angry, conjuring questions like, ‘why didn’t you duck to protect yourself?’ Their spiritual lives and faith may be shaken. They fear they’ll never be the same again, or be happy. This causes untold anxiety. Then, for some, comes distress about the guilt of being happy. To add insult to injury, these families and loved ones

are plunged into the complex, protracted world of the criminal justice system, having to face the accused defendant in a courtroom. The Moszer family will not have to experience this journey through the criminal justice system. And there are co-victims, the shooter’s family members, who have been hurt and identified by the heinous acts of one man. So many victims. The force of many layered, competing emotions [anger, fear, confusion, exhaustion, sadness, depression] and the intensity of this grief become overwhelming. Survivors shut down. Most don’t recall the early days or weeks or even months after their loss. There is a vacant, almost catatonic look in their eyes. Everything in their world feels numb, except their hearts, which are broken and which physically ache when they breathe. These reactions are normal and probably universal, and the Moszer family’s love circle should feel validated as they digest this awful pain and start to heal. The loss of Police Officer Jason Moszer is unique to the Fargo community [in our lifetimes]. And yet, collectively we’ve asked, ‘what are we to do?’ The Fargo community

se g ...becauno such thin che there’s ormal’ heada as a ‘n



1203 28th St. S - Fargo april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


just a thought


is a beacon of hope and light. They know what to do. They pray. They make hot dishes. They twist blue bulbs in to their porch lights. They stand on highways and streets to salute a hero. They donate their hard-earned money to help.

What are we to do? We answer ghastly horror with love. Every decent response and action builds renewal and rebirth. It gets better. I promise. The scar is deep and the pain is extraordinary, but the bleeding and the ache will ease with the gifts of time and love. And there is no statute of limitations on the support from our law enforcement community. They’re your special, loyal, forever family. It might help to understand that although time is helpful, it’s tricky. On one hand we want time to hurry along so the pain eases. But with the passage of time comes the fear that our loved one will be forgotten. This tug of war with time is another normal effect of grief. Know this: our hearts have good memories, and the passing of time cannot diminish those treasures. You won’t forget the sound of your loved one’s voice, or his


laugh, or his snore. His touch and his special ways are relics, woven into your souls. That is love. I wish there were shortcuts to healing. There aren’t always answers to why terrible things happen, but our response to ‘what are we to do with this?’ is profound and comforting when we respond with an outpouring of love. Time and love will give you joy again. Time and love will bring you undisturbed sleep. Time and love will stitch your hearts back together. And time and love will comfort you and bring you peace. And Jason’s ever-present soul will protect and keep you until you meet again. Police Officer Jason Moszer. End of watch February 11, 2016. Love and peace be with you. Kathleen serves on a number of community and statewide boards, committees, and leadership councils, and enjoys volunteering in church, in her kids’ school, and community programs/events. Kathleen is passionate about victims’ rights and helping to promote balance and fairness in the criminal justice system. She is also deeply interested in advocacy, education, programs, and research relating to the protection of children. Fitness is an integral part of Kathleen’s daily routine and helps her sustain her own mental health! Kathleen’s column “ just a thought” has been a regularly occurring piece in “on the minds of moms” since 2009. This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth-generation North Dakotan and ND’s Lieutenant Governor, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speechwriter. Kathleen received a BS from Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

Spring? We’re looking forward to Fall!

We’d love to have your family as part of our school family.

St. Joseph’s School Enrollment for 2016-2017 is open now

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen



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shelby terstriep

story by  |  sheri kleinsasser stockmoe


ur conversation flows easily as we chat at her kitchen island while sipping coffee. We hit the basics. She grew up in New Rockford, North Dakota. She attended the University of Missouri in Kansas City, where she met her husband. And she’s always wanted to be a doctor. Then I ask her about three awards she has received in her short career. The first was based on a patient’s nomination. “Yeah, that was nice,” she sheepishly says with a quick smile and then redirects her attention to her coffee cup, offering no further details. “And this one is only given to 11 people in the country each year!” I note enthusiastically, with a “tell me all about it” look. She acknowledges my statement with a shoulder shrug and an affirmative head nod…and nothing more. The last award she received from her peers. “Yeah, that was nice too,” she says as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. Its obvious Shelby Terstriep isn’t motivated by personal recognition or accolades. That’s not why she does what she does. Why then? It’s simple…this is who she is supposed to be.

photos: rialee photography | ria czichotzki

true calling

true calling “Everybody thinks it’s just sad,” Shelby says of her chosen field of oncology. “But I feel that I'm able to be a specialist, and I still get to see people for the long term and take care of them for many years. They never stop being my patients.” Shelby’s mom, Deb Belquist, can trace her daughter’s

path to medicine back to elementary school. “Shelby had a teacher whose very young daughter was diagnosed with cancer,” Deb says. “All year the teacher was dealing with doctors, hospitals, and treatments. This really affected Shelby and I think was one of the biggest factors that drove her to the medical profession.”

As a high schooler, while she juggled academics with sports, speech competitions, band rehearsal, and theater productions, Shelby joined the local volunteer ambulance service. “She became a certified EMT,” Deb proudly says. “This was an important ‘testing ground’ for Shelby.” And she hasn’t looked back.   “I wanted to be a doctor in sixth grade and I have never waffled,” Shelby says. But pursuing your passion was something modeled in the Belquist home. Deb, a former hairdresser then economic development administrator, returned to college at the age of 40 to complete a degree in theater and music at North Dakota State University. She is currently the executive director of Dakota Prairie Regional Center for the Arts of New Rockford and directs a number of performances year round in the 52

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

two community theaters she oversees. “Life is a journey and we have two choices: to sit on the sidelines and have things happen around us or participate in life,” Deb says. “I believe in setting goals high and ‘so what?’ if I don’t reach everything, or, God forbid, I fail at something. We MUST not be afraid to

fail. Failing is where important lessons in life are taught.” Like mother like daughter. doctor mom This Sanford Health specialist has found a way to blend a career passion with her family. It’s not always easy, but it is necessary. “I was pregnant throughout my third year of residency and had Elle my first year of fellowship. Then my last year of fellowship, I had Drew, and then my first year of practice I had Lauren. Those years of early motherhood were a blur. I remember pumping while answering pages on leukemia service at Mayo Clinic. It was crazy!” Shelby says while shaking her head, but she’s quick to brush off any notion that she has it all figured out. “I’m just like any mom. We all have a lot on our plates…that's just being a woman.” Shelby is one of 13 oncologists at Sanford Health. While she sees patients battling a variety of cancers, over the last five years she has subspecialized in breast cancer. Once a patient has been diagnosed, she is referred to Shelby or one of her co-workers. “I get to give the plan,”

true calling she says of her primary focus. “One of the hardest times the b word for a patient is typically from diagnosis to plan. So Balance…that dreaded expectation set for moms. Like when we can get in there and give them a plan, there’s many working moms, Shelby struggles to separate a sense of relief for people. But I also take care of people work and home. where the cancer is not consider curable. In those cases, “I think that's something I will always try to figure out since I am seeing them so frequently for long periods how to do better,” she confesses. “It's hard because I of time, really getting a sense of their wishes and goals

becomes critical as our focus is treating the cancer but maintaining quality of life too.” There are no guaranteed outcomes, odds, or timeframes when it comes to cancer. Shelby makes that clear with her patients, but she also sets an important expectation. “I let them know that I am going to be honest with them,” she says. “I tell them they can trust me to be very honest. If things get bad I will tell them, but at the same time I try to reiterate they are not a statistic.”

Chad believes his wife’s balancing act is spot on. “Shelby does a great job devoting her time to work and life separately. But what I really admire is how she combines the two,” he says with a smile. “She includes us in many of the cancer functions, fundraisers, and benefits she goes to. It shows the kids what mom does for a living and what an important role she plays in the community. It also builds empathy in the kids and they get a fuller sense of the world.”

Just like Chad, the couple’s children are impacted by those interactions and even at a young age understand their But Shelby does have a secret to getting it all done: mom’s role. “She helps people,” seven-year-old Lauren sometimes you have to let things go and you need a team. proudly explains about her mom’s duties away from home. “I don't care if my house is clean,” she says matter-of-factly. april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


The relationships Shelby makes with her patients is something her husband, Chad, looks at proudly. “She truly cares so much about them,” he explains. “She is always thinking about them, their treatment plans, and their overall well-being. Every time we bump into her patients, they go on and on about how great she is. It’s so touching hearing those comments!”

don't want to be somebody who’s just your doctor from eight to five. I want to be someone who cares about you forever. If that's the kind of person I want to be, then how do I just shut it off when I leave the clinic? It's really hard. I care about people so much that of course I think about them at night—‘Gosh, should we be doing that or should we be doing something different?’—but I think about my kids during the day, too, so I think both of my worlds are intertwined.”

true calling


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

true calling “I mean, I care, but it's not my entire priority and my husband is really awesome. We have a total partnership.” Eleven-year-old Elle uses words like determination and inspiration to describe her mom and says she is always there at the important times. “She talks with me during tough situations with school and friends,” the preteen shares. survivorship: [noun] the state of being a survivor Shelby was first exposed to survivorship in her profession during her fellowship at Mayo. “I was learning that the treatment part of cancer is just a small fraction of a patient’s life,” she says. “Most of their questions after completing treatment are about how to move forward. ‘How do I prevent this from coming back? How do I get my strength back? How do I deal with the infertility or the neuropathy that I'm left with?’ I became super interested in this. Survivorship was just starting to be its own thing and it's because more people are surviving cancer.” Shelby applied for and received a grant while completing her fellowship, and when she took the position in Fargo she looked to keep that momentum going at the Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center. “The administration said, ‘Yes, let's do it. Let's lead it and be an innovator with it,’” Shelby recalls. “We just started looking at what patients wanted, what wasn't good for them, what could be better, and what information they wanted and weren't getting.” Today Shelby is the Medical Director of the Sanford Cancer Survivorship Program, which is a multi-pronged resource for staff, patients, family members, and caregivers. Monthly meetings allow a shared-learning environment, with staff and patients being exposed to a specific topic and how it relates to them. For instance, a reproductive endocrinologist will discuss how physicians can protect a patient’s fertility during treatment as well as how patients can deal with infertility after treatment. That information is then recapped by the Sanford Health marketing department and dispersed through multiple media resources.

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


“We also created a Survivorship Clinic where people could come and get a lot of things done at once,” Shelby proudly says. “I always think about being from New Rockford and having to travel. This allows them to come and see a social worker, dietitian, a physical therapist, and a nurse practitioner or a physician assistant who specializes in after-cancer care. Then they get a rehab and care plan to help them move forward after cancer.”

true calling This past year the survivorship program also saw the mean I'm not a total researcher/lab kind of doctor so I start of a processing group for those living with Stage 4 can't really figure out a new drug to make cancer better, cancer, as well as a mentorship program where people but survivorship is my way of trying to help.” who have already been through cancer are trained to teacher & the student be mentors to people who are just starting treatment. Shelby’s profession offers her the opportunity to be “It’s important to be able to talk about things that they a teacher, but, more importantly, a student at times. can't talk to their parents or family members about. There's actually science behind it,” Shelby says. “When “What haven't they taught me?” she rhetorically asks researchers look at people who had that kind of support about her patients. “They have taught me what’s versus didn't, they outlived the people who didn't have important in life. Family is the most important thing that support. It just shows you the mind-body connection to them. The people who really are inspirational are and how important that is.” the ones who can be in the moment. That's one of the things I'm really trying to work on in my own life. The happiness Shelby has working with the survivorship They are an example of living your life even though program simply radiates from her as she talks about the there's something hanging over it. If they can do it, I positive impact it has on people. She loves it because it’s can do it too.” another way to care for her patients, but it also helps her personal long-term care. And what does she hope she is teaching her patients? “Medicine's just not perfect,” Shelby says. “It's not going to cure everything. I think being an oncologist is a lot like motherhood. You always feel like you can do more. That's why I do the survivorship stuff. It's my outlet of trying to make it better…make the system better. I

“Well, I hope that they know they're not just patients to me,” she says. “I actually have a hard time even using the word “patient” because it implies it's some sterile thing. I care about them like family. I want them to know that I care about them more than just what their treatment is. I want them to live a productive life, I want them to

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

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true calling live a happy life, no matter how long that life is, and I want their quality of life to be the best that it can be.” Chad also sees the valuable lessons Shelby’s career and actions are teaching their children. “First, follow your passion,” he says. “Life is too short to do something you don’t love and doesn’t give you meaning. Secondly, it teaches them that it takes hard work and commitment to be successful.” what matters “Shelby is the most caring person you could ever meet,” Chad says. “She always thinks of others first, whether it is in the clinic, in the community, or at home.” Nine-year-old Drew agrees with his dad. “She is nice and caring and she’s very funny,” he adds with a smile. Shelby’s mom sees her daughter as “a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. She is extremely intelligent and articulate; she’s very passionate—driven and compassionate.” “I hope one day they look back and think their mom wanted to make a difference and that she cared for people a lot,” Shelby says of the legacy she hopes to leave her kids. “I hope they see that even though my job can be emotionally painful at times, you can have

things that are hard and good at the same time.” Shelby has been recognized by her patients and peers based on the legacy she is establishing. In 2011 Shelby was one of 11 medical professionals in the nation to receive the American Cancer Society Lane Adams Quality of Life Award, which, per their website, “promotes improved quality of life for all persons with cancer and their families through public recognition of exemplary individuals who practice compassionate, skilled cancer care and who extend the warm hand of service.” In 2013 she received the Sanford Health Innovator Award for her work to improve patient experience through the Sanford Cancer Survivorship Program. And this past year she was a YWCA Women of the Year recipient in the category of wellness. But don’t expect Shelby to talk about any of that. It’s not why she’s a doctor. “This is my true calling,” she says with a gentle smile as she finishes her coffee. Sources: |

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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


epidermis episodes

ready, set, grow

story by  |  sheri kleinsasser stockmoe


The following may cause itching, scratching and the intense sense your skin has dried out and you have bugs crawling in your hair. Read at your own discretion.

ready, set, grow

your wee one will spend about 25,000 hours in diapers.

wee ones [0–18 months]


mooth skin, soft hair, and kissable cheeks. Isn’t your wee one so beautiful? Sometimes not all the cheeks are kissable!

scales & bumps...oh my Your wee one’s delicate skin can show some not-so-pretty evidence of the connection the two of you shared. As your hormones are leaving your baby, your wee one can develop cradle cap and baby acne. Cradle cap is simply skin cells growing faster than they are normally lost. The result is a crusty, scaly rash on the scalp, around her ears and sometimes even in her eyebrows. The easiest treatment involves rubbing some baby oil on the scalp, let it sit a few minutes and then use a soft brush or fine toothed comb to remove. Baby acne is categorized as

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on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

fleshy, red bumps and sometimes whiteheads on the checks, chin, or forehead. No treatment is typically required, but keep the area clean and dry and avoid lotions and oils as they can aggravate the situation. diaper surprise Your wee one needs a diaper change and you are shocked to see a bright, red bottom staring back at you. The good news is diaper rash is very common and usually will go away in a few days. So how do you know if it is diaper rash? A diaper rash might not always look exactly the same, but if it is red, puffy, and looks tender, chances are it’s a diaper rash. Here are some things to keep in mind that can help keep this common occurrence extremely uncommon in your home: • oh so sensitive Disposable diaper chaffing or perfumes and chemicals found in those diapers as well as wipes, lotions, soaps, or detergents can be bad for the bum. • lube it up Petroleum jelly and zinc oxide are the tried-and-true ingredient in over-the-counter diaper rash ointments. They soothe and protect by creating a barrier on the skin. With each diaper change, apply a thin layer. • easy on the new food New foods can wreak havoc on your wee one’s tummy and bum! Mom eating something new or different while breastfeeding or introducing new foods to your solids-eating wee one can result in changes to their #2 in the form of content and frequency.

ready, set, grow

75% of children with atopic dermatitis go on to develop hay fever or asthma.


[18 months–3 years]


ur tots are exploring their world and growing so fast, leaving their little hands, elbows, and knees exposed to all the busy. x-s what-a Eczema is a general term used to refer to a broad range of skin rashes, but with tots, atopic dermatitis is the most common. This dry, thickened, red rash appears most often on the legs, arms, and trunk, but can appear other places and can itch like heck! While the exact cause is unknown, tots with eczema tend to have a family history of eczema, allergies, or asthma. Eczema isn’t necessarily an allergic reaction, but environmental factors such as mold, dust mites, and animal dander or certain foods [cow’s milk, wheat, soy, peanuts, or eggs] can trigger flare-ups or outbreaks. Here are some tips to living with eczema: • Keep it moisturized and the temperature & humidity consistent. • Minimize sweating & overheating and avoid wool & other scratchy materials. • Use mild, fragrance-free soaps and detergents made for sensitive skin.

keep that stuff away! As our tots experience new food and the world around them, there’s the possibility they will encounter something they are allergic to. A sign of an allergic reaction is a welt-looking rash known as hives. Hives can appear suddenly and spread quickly. They can be red or white and usually are found on chest, tummy,

If your tot breaks out in hives you should give him the respective dose of Benadryl [diphenhydramine] based on body weight. Allergic reactions can progress quickly so it’s best to administer the Benadryl right away rather than waiting to see how the hives progress. In general a trip to the emergency room isn’t needed, but if your tot shows signs of a severe allergic reaction such as throat tightness, wheezing, breathing difficulty, extreme weakness, or lightheadedness, significantly pale, or persistent vomiting, go to the ER.

礀 䠀攀愀氀琀栀 䈀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀猀

䤀猀 礀漀甀爀 挀栀椀氀搀⼀猀琀甀搀攀渀琀 猀琀爀甀最最氀椀渀最㼀 䠀攀愀爀琀 漀昀 䈀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀 挀愀渀 栀攀氀瀀⸀ 匀攀爀瘀椀挀攀猀 愀琀 栀漀洀攀Ⰰ 猀挀栀漀漀氀  愀渀搀 椀渀 琀栀攀 挀漀洀洀甀渀椀琀礀⸀

While this condition can persist, most tots will outgrow it. Even if it completely doesn’t go away, eczema tends to lessen in severity as your child gets older.

or back, but can also appear on the extremities and rarely on the face. The crazy thing about hives is they will come and go over a period of 10 to 15 minutes or as long as a few hours. Foods that most commonly cause hives are shellfish, nuts, berries, and fish, but hives can also appear in response to an illness or an allergic reaction to a medication or external irritants such as soaps, lotion, detergent, new clothes, or maybe something outside like a bush or grass.

眀眀眀⸀栀攀愀爀琀漀昀戀攀栀愀瘀椀漀爀⸀挀漀洀 匀攀爀瘀椀渀最 一漀爀琀栀 䐀愀欀漀琀愀 愀渀搀 眀攀猀琀攀爀渀 䴀椀渀渀攀猀漀琀愀⸀ 䌀栀攀挀欀 甀猀 漀甀琀 漀渀氀椀渀攀Ⰰ 愀渀搀 氀椀欀攀 甀猀 漀渀 䘀愀挀攀戀漀漀欀℀

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


ready, set, grow

mosquitoes prefer children to adults and blondes to brunettes.

preschoolers [3–5 years]


ummer fun is almost here. With this past winter, our preschoolers will be ready to enjoy the great outdoors and we need to make sure we protect them from the things that can put a damper on that fun.

stinkin’ skeeters Bugs are inevitably a part of our summer fun and pesky mosquitoes are all too common in our area. It’s our job to make sure they don’t feast on our preschooler. Mosquitoes love to be out at dawn and dusk and the best sure-fire way not to get bit is to stay inside at those times, but sometimes that isn’t possible [and remember, those buggers can be out any time]. Here are steps to keep the skeeters at bay: • no free rides Make sure you don’t have a breeding ground for mosquitos. Get rid of sitting water, whether it is in a wading pool, clogged roof gutters, bird baths, or flower pots. • cover up Wear protective clothing to decrease their biting effect and remember to make sure it


on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

is light colored as mosquitoes are more attracted to dark colors. • repel it baby DEET has been found to be the most effective ingredient in mosquito repellants. DEET is effective in concentrations of 10-30%, but should not be used on kids under two months. You should note that the higher the concentration, the longer the duration it will work, but again for our kids 30% concentration is the maximum recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Always follow product instructions and when using DEET: 1. Apply it sparingly on exposed skin; do not use under clothing. 2. Do not use on the hands of your preschooler or young children; avoid areas around the eyes and mouth. 3. Don’t use near food. 4. Don’t use combination sunscreen/DEET products as they will need to be reapplied at different rates.

head lice is one of the most contagious conditions among children, only 2nd to the common cold.

ready, set, grow

big kids [6–9 years]


our big kid gets home and drops her backpack in the middle of the floor. Your routine is to let her know that isn’t where it belongs and you then rummage through the plethora of papers she brought home. Then suddenly one note jumps out at you announcing the ‘infestation’ of…yes…LICE…NOOOO!

2. Dry clean any clothing that isn't machine washable. 3. Don’t forget the stuffed animals and plush toys and anything else that can’t be washed or dry cleaned and put in an airtight bag for two weeks. 4. Vacuum carpets and upholstered furniture in your house and car. 5. Soak hair items in rubbing alcohol or medicated shampoo for one hour; or they’re cheap…throw them away!

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april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


creepy crawly Let’s be honest, head lice are gross. They are these bugs that feed on blood and they are a pain to get rid of. The most common symptom of head lice is scalp itching, but Getting rid of these bugs can be a real pain and with new it may not start until weeks or even months after the ‘Super Lice’ treatment could be tricky. If your treatment lice have started to spread. Scratching can make the isn’t working after two weeks call the doc and come skin raw, which can then become infected. And while up with another plan. Also, when talking about lice, they can’t fly or jump, they do spread easily through it’s important to remember that having lice doesn’t close contact from person to person. Your pets can’t have anything to do with hygiene. It doesn’t make you give you lice or vice versa so you can’t blame the dog dirty, but it can be embarrassing. So, make sure your for this one. The million-dollar question is: how do you preschooler knows this and while it might take some get rid of these tiny parasites with specialized claws effort to get rid of them, they will eventually be gone. that allow them to climb and cling to hair? • get that itch out There are a variety of medicated shampoos, lotions, and rinses available over-thecounter or by prescription. These things are pesticides and using them incorrectly can be harmful and make it ineffective, so follow directions. Note that these treatments should not be used on kids under He y M am two years old. a...w e ar e her • treat your home too Lice don’t survive very long e to pr eserve your sanity! after falling off your preschooler, but here are some things to do to your house to keep the lice away: 1. Wash all bedding and clothing of the infested when you mention this ad! *One per household preschooler in very hot water and dry in the hot Call 701.680.7373 for FREE estimate // cycle of the dryer for at least 20 minutes.

ready, set, grow

90% of skin cancers are a result of sun exposure

tweeners [10–12 years]


weeners love summer. Whether it be days at the pool or skiing at the lake, they can’t get enough, but too much of the warm rays isn’t all that good.

easy on the rays Sun is our primary source of Vitamin D, which helps us absorb calcium, and our tweeners need strong, healthy bones, so sun is good but, like everything, moderation is key. As much as we need sun, we also need to teach our tweeners to respect it. Unprotected exposure to the sun's ultraviolet rays can cause skin damage, eye damage, immune system suppression, and even cancer. Here are some important sun safety considerations: • get it on early In order to get an effective layer of protection, apply sunscreen 30 minutes prior to exposure. • slop it on Be generous when applying sunscreen and make sure it is at least 15 SPF and protects against UVA and UVB rays and remember to reapply every 2 to 3 hours. • avoid high noon The sun is at its strongest point 701.757.BABY 224 N. 4TH ST Grand Forks, ND 64

on the minds of moms | april • may twenty sixteen

between 10am and 2pm so, if there is a time to stay in the shade, this is it. • put a lid on it Lightweight clothing and a hat are great protection from the harm of over exposure to the sun. • remember the shades Protecting your eyes is as important as protecting your skin. Make sure they look cool and provide 100% UV protection. If your tweener does get a sunburn: • keep your cool First stay out of the sun. Then help your tweener stay cool with a bath or cold compresses. • ease the burn Relieve the pain associated with a sunburn by applying aloe vera gel, which also speeds healing, or give the appropriate dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen [no aspirin]. • not so fast Stay away from applying petroleum-based products because they prevent heat and sweat from escaping, and also products containing benzocaine, which may cause skin irritation or allergic reaction. • hi doc A severe sunburn that results in blisters warrants a trip to the doctor.

ready, set, grow

only 11% of acne sufferers seek help

teens [13–18years]


ou know how quickly time has gone. It seems like just yesterday when your teen was a wee one with baby acne and cradle cap. Now he has…acne and dandruff… the more things change the more they stay the same!

more than skin deep Today there are many treatment options for your teen. Most every case of acne can be resolved and there are a few points to keep in mind: • no quick fix On average 6 to 8 weeks is needed to see results from acne treatment. • no teen created the same There are different types of acne, skin types, and causes of acne that make treatment different for each teen. • time for dermatologist A dermatologist can provide your teen with treatment options only available through them. Their knowledge allows them to create a customized treatment plan that can incorporate a number of medications if warranted. Remember that early intervention maximizes results and can reduce the chance of scarring. • more than physical Don’t overlook acne as just being a part of being a teen. Consider the psychosocial effects that can accompany acne and educate yourself and your teen and work on a plan to get through this window of transition from adolescence to adulthood.

gimme the truth Just when our teen is the hungriest for peer approval he is plagued with skin conditions that can increase self-consciousness. Puberty brings increased activity of the sweat glands and dreaded acne. While acne may seem like a rite of passage, it’s no fun when you’re going through it. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, nearly 100% of all teens have at least the occasional breakout and acne doesn’t discriminate. It strikes all teens equally, regardless of sex, race, or ethnicity. Now we aren’t going to go into the icky, black head details of acne, but rather some basics, starting with clearing up some of the misconceptions: • Myth #1: Give up that stuff and your skin will clear up. There is no evidence that greasy, fried foods, nor chocolate cause acne. • Myth #2: Wash your face some more. Hygiene isn’t related to the development of acne. Your teen should gently wash his face twice daily with a mild soap to remove dead skin cells, excess oil, and surface dirt. Too much cleansing or washing too hard can lead to dryness and irritation, which can make acne worse. • Myth #3: A nice tan can clear up that complexion. There is no evidence that sunlight improves acne. It can actually do more harm than good, such as leading to early ageing and increasing your teen’s risk of

skin cancer. Also, many acne medications can make your teen’s skin more sensitive to ultraviolet light.

Sources: | | | |

april • may twenty sixteen | on the minds of moms


I am‌ because of her photos: caitlin killoran photography  | caitlin killoran





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OTMOM April.May 2016  
OTMOM April.May 2016  

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