Shmot: Callings and Obstacles In this week’s parsha, Moshe is doing his best to run away from who he is and who he was meant to be. After being pulled from the reeds by Pharaoh’s daughter and brought up in Pharaoh’s home, Moshe is neither an insider nor an outsider. He kills an Egyptian taskmaster whom he sees beating a Hebrew slave and subsequently flees to the hills where he meets a wife, has a son, and tries to live a life as a simple shepherd. Until, of course, Moshe gets called. One day, an angel inside a bush causes the bush to burn without being consumed. Moshe stops and turns “to see this great spectacle” and he hears the voice of the Divine calling his name. “Hineni,” Moses answers, “Here I am.” God tells Moshe to tell the Israelites, who are enslaved, that they are going to be freed. Moshe pleads with the Eternal not to have to be the one who is sent: 11. But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should take the children of Israel out of Egypt?"
וַּי ֹאמֶר מׁשֶה אֶל ָהאֱֹלהִים מִי ָאנֹכִי ּכִי ֵאלְֵך.יא :?ִ אֶל ּפ ְַרע ֹה ְוכִי אֹוצִיא אֶת ְּבנֵי יִׂש ְָראֵל ִמ ִּמצ ְָרי
10. Moses said to the Lord, "I beseech You, O Lord. I am not a man of words, neither from yesterday nor from the day before yesterday, nor from the time You have spoken to Your servant, for I am heavy of mouth and heavy of tongue." (chapter 4:10)
וַּי ֹאמֶר מׁשֶה אֶל י ְהֹוָה ּבִי אֲדֹנָי ֹלא אִיׁש.י ּׁשלְׁש ֹם ּגַם מֵָאז ִ ּדְ ב ִָרים ָאנֹכִי ּגַם מִּתְ מֹול ּגַם ִמ :ּדַ ּב ְֶרָך אֶל ַעבְּדֶ ָך ּכִי ְכבַד ּפֶה ּו ְכבַד לָׁשֹון ָאנֹכִי
Moshe’s doubt in himself and his worthiness and ability to undertake such a task is overwhelming. He immediately zeroes in on the part of himself of which he is most ashamed, his primary obstacle: his mouth. We are not sure if he has a speech impediment or a fear of public speaking, but Moshe says, over and over again, “I simply can’t do this thing you are asking me to do. This one heavy (“kaved”) obstacle stands in the way- my mouth and tongue.”
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