Commentary
Ocean City Today July 2, 2021
Page 49
Depending on good Independence Day With the celebration of Independence Day on Sunday, it might occur to a few people that we aren’t nearly as independent as we think we are, and not even close to what independence meant way back when. That’s not a bad thing, despite the romantic notions of what life was like one or two centuries ago. The reality is we have no idea of what it was like then, nor do we realize how dependent we have become on the advantages provided by the development of this nation. The pandemic — the first one in a lifetime for all but a very few people — proved that. A little more than 100 years ago, the Spanish Flu epidemic killed a far greater percentage of the national population than covid-19 has or will. This much improved outcome is not just the result of better healthcare technology and pharmaceutical advancements, but is largely related to the huge increase in the availability of medical care and the government-sponsored services on which we can now depend. Similarly, hundreds of area business operators were not only dependent on loans issued through the Small Business Administration as they struggled to survive, they rejoiced having been approved. And then there’s Medicare, the principle health insurance for thousands of county residents, and the government-provided emergency services and law enforcement that we have come to expect. We want government to have the wherewithal, the organization and the resources to give us help when we want it. Yet, we insist at times that we’d be better off if things were more like they used to be. But we wouldn’t be better off, not by a long shot. The fact is, the Declaration of Independence prepared the way for us to create a government by the people. That’s certainly worth celebrating, even though both government and people have plenty of flaws and made plenty of mistakes. Even so, by virtue of the easy travel and the abundant services that we now enjoy, we can expect the celebration of our beginning on that Independence Day to be a great one. In fact, we are depending on it.
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EDITOR ............................................ Stewart Dobson MANAGING EDITOR ................................ Lisa Capitelli STAFF WRITERS .................. Greg Ellison, Neely James, .................... Greg Wehner, Jack Chavez, Mallory Panuska ASSISTANT PUBLISHER .......................... Elaine Brady ACCOUNT MANAGERS.......... Mary Cooper, Vicki Shrier CLASSIFIEDS/LEGALS MANAGER .... Nancy MacCubbin SENIOR DESIGNER ................................ Susan Parks GRAPHIC ARTIST .................................... Kelly Brown PUBLISHER........................................ Christine Brown ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT ...................... Gini Tufts Ocean City Today is published weekly by FLAG Publications, Inc. at 8200 Coastal Highway, Ocean City, Md. 21842. Ocean City Today is available by subscription at $150 a year. Visit us on the Web at www.oceancitytoday.com. Copyright 2021
PUBLIC EYE
Spawning stress
Funeral services will be held Tuesday for Mr. Lester P. Knuckle, 47, of Perturbia, Pa., following his demise Saturday as the result of spawning stress. Mr. Knuckle’s next-to-last words, according to family members, were, “Come on, Mabel, we’re not horseshoe crabs, you know.” His final words could not be confirmed, but were said to be, “What th ...?” Spawning stress — the silent killer of 10 percent of By adult horseshoe crabs, we Stewart have been told, as hundreds Dobson of these ancient marine creatures went bottoms up and down recently after a wild spree of horseshoe hanky-panky that sadly concluded in a deadend canal. Incidentally, there is no such thing as a dead-end canal. A canal connects two bodies of water, whereas a dead-end canal is really a gut, which, when filled with dead horseshoe crabs, becomes what you might call a gut in-stink. Moving on, it’s been 500 million years now that every tenth horseshoe crab gets a oneway ticket after doing the two-way tango, so you wonder why at least one of them hasn’t figured that out. “Nooooooo. Thanks, but I think I’ll wait until the FDA issues its next report on spawning safety.” Which brings me to the greater mystery. If humans knew they had a one-in-10 chance of
croaking when they — you know — would they still risk it? Let’s say it’s closing time at the bar, would people still do the 2 o’clock shuffle if they knew that one out of every 10 of them would be headed out on what you might call an expiration date? And at home, when you hear the words, “Ohhhh, honey-bunny, what are youuuuu doooooing?” What do you say, knowing this could be your last roundup? “I’m hungry. Who wants a sandwich? Anyone?” Of course not. “I’lllll beeee riiiiight theeeerrrre!” Fine. But here’s the funny thing — it’s pretty evident that most members of the human race would eventually agree that a 10 percent chance of a fatal attraction isn’t that big of a deal. Yet, almost half of the national population won’t get the covid vaccine, even though the odds of a severe reaction are about the same as getting hit by a flying toilet (see Forbes, Jan. 23, 2021). “I think I’ll wait until they do more research,” is a frequent vaccine-resistant refrain. It doesn’t make sense. Then again, neither does comparing humans to horseshoe crabs, which, when you think about it, look like Darth Vader helmets with legs. “Hey there, you slow-crawling helmet of love,” one horseshoe crab says to another. “I’ve been dying to meet you.” “Hold on,” says the other. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
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