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First published 2012 by The O’Brien Press Limited 12 Terenure Road East, Rathgar, Dublin 6, Ireland Tel: +353 1 492 3333; Fax: +353 1 429 2777 Email: books@obrien.ie Website: www.obrien.ie ISBN: 978-1-84717-256-3 Copyright for text, illustrations and layout © Alan Nolan 2012 Copyright for editing © The O’Brien Press Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing form from the publisher. British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY The paper used in this book is produced using pulp from managed forests

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Ricky Nixon

Eddie Ribbs

Abigail Fletcher

Detective Third Class, HCPD

Detective Third Class, HCPD

Investigative Journalist

Tonedeaf Roosevelt

Captain Armitage Shanks

James Lahood

Busking Bluesman

Captain, HCPD

Police Commissioner, HCPD

Nature’s Fury

Screaming Diva

Red White & Blue

Stars’n’stripes

The Satin Spectre

Superhero AKA Martin Calhoun

Superhero AKA Bessie Chadwick

Superhero Alter ego unknown

robo-Sidekick AKA sns-1776

Superhero AKA Zinna conroy

Super Trooper

Kid rocket

The Poxx

Kiss of Death

the mad monk

Superhero AKA Stuart Goddard

Superhero sidekick AKA samuel david williams

Supervillain Alter ego unknown

Supervillain AKA Olga Maria Kitchener

Supervillain AKA Stefan Malkovich

Madame Arachnia

Danger Dave

Cyber-mutt

Kid Cousteau

The diver

Dr. Engelhardt Favreau

Supervillain AKA Frederica Gillespie

Superhero AKA Dave Davis III

Superhero

Superhero AKA jack Haddock

Superhero alter ego unknown

Inventor and Scientific Genius

Flexi-Lady

Pigboy

Eggman

The silver Fin

Robo jojo

walrus

Todd Grable

Supervillain alter ego unknown

Supervillain AKA Wilbur matthews

Supervillain AKA Al bumen

Superhero alter ego unknown

Supervillain

Supervillain AKA Garret Adams

3rd Grade student La hood elementary


...some of whom turned up during RWB’s court case to show their support...

...others to testify against him.

Humph. Super-zeroes. Who cares where they are now? Hood City’s better off without those capes.

And now, two years on from the ‘Ivanovic’ incident, the question on everyone’s lips is ‘Where are the superheroes Now?

The name’s RIBBS. Eddie Ribbs. The guy with the bad attitude totin’ the remote is Ricky Nixon.

We’re homicide detectives. Hood City Police Department. Hood City’s finest. Well, not exactly finest. Not yet.

While Nixon’s gums are flappin’ my brain’s feet are a tap-tap-tappin’.

But we’re doing our best. The guy in back? Eatin’ the tasty and nutricious bucket of chicken? That’s me. Detective third class. One day I hope to make second. Now, normally I don’t say much. Nixon says it’s because my mouth is always full.

11


Nixon! Ribbs! My office! NOW! Uh-oh. What did we do this time?

These are the ones, commissioner. The worst guys I have, just like you asked for.

Police Commissioner La Hood?! We ARE in trouble! Stay standing, boys. You ain’t staying.

Boys, it’s the chicken murders. Murdock and Franklin are off the case.

12


But Murdock and Franklin are the best detectives in the precinct!

Now, I know you boys think that I consider you to be a couple of no-good buffoons who couldn’t find a dead body in a funeral parlour. the worst detectives ever to disgrace the Hood city homicide badge. And you’d be right. But these are... Commissioner La Hood’s orders.

What just happened?

Don’t worry, boys, I’m sure you won’t let me down.

Ribbs. A case. A real, live case!

Now, get out of my sight. Both of you.

I can’t believe it! Only last week Shanks busted us down to traffic offence duty! Good ol’ Shanks! He may call you fat and me stupid, but this proves that he believes in us! And of all cases, the chicken case!

13


The chicken case. A serial killer has been killing Uncle Solomon’s Southern Fried Chickens. Or at least the guys inside the chicken suits who hand out flyers for the restaurants.

Five dead in the last two weeks.

Five dead. And now the chicken killer is going for the full six pack. But Shanks is right. We ARE the worst detectives in Hood City. Why would La Hood want us on the case? Unless he doesn’t want it solved...

Ready. What?

Now THAT would be funny!

Too much?

14


Destination Homicide