Maybe it is time to explore?
I named mine “It”. She deserves no embellished name like: witch or gremlin or Tracy-Lou Evans (a name I had used in the past for the editor). “It” is my editor that wants out when I want to play. She tells me to clean up, act right, sit up straight, type it right.... There she is... there It sits. I know I need to quiet her and calm her when I sit and write tonight. It has been a tough month and my Om space has been disrupted. She pushes me, puts tape on my mouth and pain in my fingers. She wants to silence me. I try to reason with her and soothe her with broken promises she has heard before. Nothing I seem to write is right. She has taken the pen and made scribbles along the page. It has even put red ink over words that seem too “touchy feely”. How do I speak to It without her losing her cool and storming away...leaving behind a wave of guilt. Maybe I should have listened to her this time? Maybe It is right? Doubt fills the air and I tuck away my laptop for the night. That was last week and today is a new day. I need to write. I WANT to write. Writing is my playground. In my journal I can jump as high as I want, run as fast as I can, and sing as loudly as the birds down the road. What do I say to her? How do I say it?
www.nourishpublication.com
August 2012
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The Artful Dialogue with editor It. Me: It, can I speak with you a moment? It: No. Go away. I can't deal with you anymore today. Me: Me!? What about you? You poo-poo'd my latest and greatest ideas... It: Go...A....WAY. Me: Not this time. I want to know why you come out when I need space to be who I am? It: I'm not listening and you can't make me. Plus, I highly doubt words like “poopoo'd” are even real ones. I think you should edit that out. It makes you sound immature and whiny. Me: No, no...I have not asked for your suggestions. I want to know why you want out when I am already very stressed out in my life and want to sit and play where I play best? It: HA! You can't even trrrrry to blame me m'am. Nosirreebob. I am here because I am cordially invited to be here at every sitting. Thank you. In fact, while we are on this topic...why do
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