iSSUE III : Space

Dear Reader,

The theme of NOT AN iSSUE’s third issue is “space.” Some works highlighted in this issue share an astral theme, while others focus on mental/emotional occupation. We thank everyone that contributed—both those who shared their beautiful galactic pieces and those that took a leap with their imaginative interpretations of “space.”

We are excited about the new members who have joined the NOT AN iSSUE family and who have worked hard alongside the rest of our masthead to cultivate a creative and collaborative space. This has by far been NOT AN iSSUE’s most ambitious issue as we have taken on a more unique formatting style.

As before, we are incredibly proud of everyone who submitted and it was honor to work with your pieces. Look out for our next issue!

Catherine Xue Co-Editor in Chief

STARS OF RIVER

by Luna Rietveld

my brother’s void

My Brother was my universe. My sun, and every star that shined on my life. He was the grass stains on my jeans my jeans, the tide pulling me out to sea. The nerd who fueled my love of dinosaurs and dragons. He is the only family I have, despite the ghosts who pretend they know me. That’s why my brother knows my real name, and not them. Why I mourned for someone who isn’t even dead. And still do.

He left in autumn, or maybe spring? I was seven. He had barley been fourteen. I tried to save him. In my own way. But what was I to do? Nothing but stare at the empty road where my grandpa’s beat up ford took my universe away. I hoped in vain, that I could find my sunshine again. I sang pointless melodies to the wind. Wished on every star in the sky that this was not forever. Every time I saw his light again, I tried to seal it up like fireflies in a jar and take him home with me. But how did that work out for you?

I’m old enough now to know what I did wrong. If somehow, you’re in space and you helmet cracks, you should never hold your breath. The longer you do, the more your lungs expand, out and out and out against your ribs until you combust. You need to breath out. Holding on to oxygen will only kill you faster. Breathing out releases the pressure building up, so you at least have more time to find a way out. Or back in. Depends on your perspective.

My Brother’s room was life less. His bed was thrown away first. Then the stickers on his wall. The marker stains on his carpet. The stars were fading into the void. My Brother’s room cloaked in midnight dust, choking those who dared step in. I was losing him. And myself too. I was the moon; he was the sun. that was our deal. What was the moon there for if the sun couldn’t shine his light on her? The nights I spent curled up by his door, waiting for the black hole to suck me in too weren’t even the worst part. It was when my sister took his place that almost killed me.

My sister likes to pretend that she is the sun. That the world revolves around her, and if it doesn’t, she’ll burn you to a crisp. Picture Regina George but a whiney middle schooler. Now make her ten times worse. It wasn’t bad that she tried to be the sun. I would have given her the chance if she let me. What good is the moon if there is no light to illuminate it? Right? But her problem is, she never shares. All that light is kept to herself, while the moon is shrouded in darkness. She took his room, she took his light, she took MY LIGHT. She left me to get used to the cold. She forced me to become a shadow, never making a sound, and following her orbit.

My Brother’s light was stolen. My everything is gone. My parent’s ghosts don’t speak his name, except to criticize him for who he shares his light with. Even though they didn’t raise him. My sister only cares when he gives her more of his light for her to waste. Poor Icarus. And all I’m left to do is sit outside his door way, the last trickle of his light dancing in the mourning sky. As my heart wanes into nothing, waiting for my sunshine to come home.

- For Ben, please let me see your light again.

a sight to remember

by Zara Azeem

by Sadie DeFilippi

Fresh snow glistened from all corners of the mountain. A white carpet rolled across its hills and slopes while icicles hung from the tree branches and cliff edges. The ski lifts, once snow had been cleared off of the chairs, began moving to signal the first day of the season. Though the awaiting crowd was not as sizable as might be expected in such an event, this could be forgiven as the early morning on the mountain was marked by frigid conditions.

These conditions however were not enough to quell the spark of excitement inside Cody, an avid skier who never failed to appear at the slopes on each year’s opening day. This year, he had brought along his twin younger brothers—Brenner and Bennett—wishing to inspire in them a similar love of the sport. They were now no older than he was when he had first started and no less inexperienced.

Cody had driven them to the mountain even earlier in the morning to ensure they got the first spot in line. He was determined to be the first to tread the fresh powder. However, there was a slight incline on the way up to the first chairlift and the twins struggled to make their way up. Any progress they made by attempting to run up the hill in skis was quickly erased as they slid back down. Begrudgingly, Cody allowed others to pass as he taught his brothers how to dig the edges of their skis into the snow in order to step up the hill.

IN SPACE

by Nate Iyer

The act of getting on the lift was also a bit of a challenge, as Bennett was scared by the idea of getting onto the moving chair. Having noticed this apprehension, the lift operator slowed the chair down to ease the process. Though there was no bar to pull down, Cody sat in the middle of the twins and held his ski poles horizontally out in front of them such as to prevent any accidents. “Don’t fiddle with your gloves,” he instructed them. “You don’t want them to fall into the snow below.” Brenner kicked him with his ski for these tyrannical demands.

Cody observed the number 14 marking the back of the chair in front of them, 13 in front of that, and so on. The first three chairs had already dropped off their passengers and swung around back down the loop. He watched as those first skiers left imprinted lines that arced across the previously-fresh snow behind them. That should have been me, he thought to himself.

In the process of getting off of the chair, Bennett and Brenner managed to both ram into Cody and the three tumbled into the snow. “Snowball fight!” Brenner exclaimed.

“That’s not happening,” Cody replied curtly. “Let’s get to actually skiing.”

“Although they did begin skiing as Cody had commanded, this endeavor was far less glamorous than he had hoped. The boys were very slow getting down the mountain and fell over what seemed like every ten feet. Cody was constantly stopping to wait for them or help pick them back up. This continued with ever-increasing frustration on Cody’s behalf as the three repeatedly ran this same slope.

After about an hour of this, Cody was done. He needed some space and devised a plan on how to get it. “Let’s go on the bigger lift over there,” he suggested, pointing at the more difficult and longer chair to their right.

“Are you sure…” Bennett wavered, clearly lacking confidence.

“Yeah, I just fell over trying to turn left,” Brenner remarked.

“Don’t worry—it’ll be great,” Cody claimed.

The boys took the bigger lift and luckily didn’t experience any mishaps when getting off at the top. However, Bennett and Brenner watched in confusion and shock as Cody promptly skied off to the right-side where signs and orange tape clearly designated a “noski” area. He had taken them up there just to be able to ride off by himself.

That trick had certainly been a bit mischievous and perhaps immoral, Cody acknowledged while mulling over his decision, but he disregarded this concern because he was relieved to finally have some space. This was somewhere that still had fresh snow and also, conveniently, an absence of little brothers to slow him down. It additionally turned out, however, to have a plethora of trees that were slowly amassing into a thick forest. He took sharper and sharper turns in order to avoid running into these obstacles but in doing so had little space to properly slow down.

Suddenly, Cody felt his skis fall from the support of solid ground and his body was engulfed by a gaping mouth that opened up in the snow. He had found himself in a tree well: an open pocket of air that forms around the base of a tree as areas around it become covered in snow. This space was quickly filled--not only by Cody himself but also by a succeeding cascade of snow that served to bury him.

After a moment of intense panic, Cody was able to fairly assess the situation. He recognized that perhaps there was good reason for the designation of this area as a no-ski zone and that he had exercised poor judgment in his active defiance of this stipulation. Not only this, but he now felt he was lacking the space he had craved in venturing this way, which was natural given the less-thanspacious condition of being buried in snow.

Through a spell of good fortune and determination, Cody was able to climb his way out of the tree well and get back on his feet (or skis, for that matter). He was able to traverse more slowly through the following lines of trees and found that he may have been lucky to have fallen earlier as only a short distance later he found himself at the edge of a cliff. From there, he could spot Brenner and Bennett and was surprised to find they had already made it more than halfway down the slope. He watched them for a few minutes and saw that whenever one would fall, the other was immediately there not only to help them back on their feet but also guide them in how to avoid that mistake in the future. In contrast to his earlier rushed approach in leading them, they would each slow down to make sure the other was not struggling. By the time the twins had reached the bottom, their skill-level was unrecognizable to what it had been at the top.

Cody walked along the edge of the cliff back out of the no-ski zone to the middle of the slope, traversing the rest of the way down to meet up with the twins. He began to say “I’m so sorry—” before receiving two snowballs to the face.

“We forgive you,” they replied.

“It seemed like you guys were tearing it up down the slope quite well without me though. Maybe it’s a good thing I gave you some space.”

“Maybe, but it’d be more fun if you stuck around from now on,” Bennett replied.

“And why wouldn’t we do well?” Brenner added. “I bet we could beat you in a race.”

“Let’s do it!” They returned to the first chair and this time Cody slowed down not out of frustrated obligation but in order to let them win.

“You didn’t even try,” Bennett complained.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The three called it a day with regard to skiing but decided to go sledding before heading back home. Though they only brought one sled, they were all able to fit on it and ride together. This arrangement may not have afforded each rider a whole lot of space, but it was much more fun and the journey brought the boys closer together.

Moonlight sONATA

by Mingyan Zhang

8 Stars

Home

One would describe it as the Warmth from a fireplace as You’re wrapped up in the softest blanket.

To this girl, home lies

In the depths of the forest

Where two trees split apart

To show the cottage that smells

Of vanilla bean candles

A girl stays comforted

Happy

From the people that appeared in the screen in front of her Though she can’t understand them her eyes shine

by Diana

brighter than the sun burning the pavement on a summer day. when she watches them, she's at ease.

the thoughts no longer raid her mind.

She’s fascinated by

How the 8 boys interact with one another

The way their eyes glimmer when They see each other.

The way their shoulders fall

At the mere sight of each other

How all the stars in their eyes can make up a galaxy

She

Listens to their stories

Learns their dances

From the moment the sun wakes

To when the moon shines brightly above the cottage

She’s finally home.

-case 143

Painting My Fantasies

by Cioara

3-Year Gap

by Beverly Jin

by Agatha Barber

the sun

My space with all its waste.

Never tidy

Nor neat

Never dirty

Nor incomplete

For it is ever my space, with my waste.

#10 by C. W.

CONTRIBUTORS

Butter

Luna Rietveld

Zara Azeem

Sadie DeFilippi

Nate Iyer

MingYan Zhang

Diana Sneha Moudgalya

Cioara

Beverly Jin

C.W.

Agatha Barber

Emma Lu

CREDITS

Nitya Masina

Sneha Moudgalya

Isabelle Charernruengkit

Nooriya Vanak

Zara Azeem

Fenix Walker

Catherine Xue

Erika Lee

Sumana Sri Manikala

Maia Taylor

Vasudha Ravivarma

Alvina Zhu