Do I Dare to Dream?

By: Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta

Dreams are a common part of a human life. Many of us dream to do something, be someone, and we strive for it. We are told from an early age to dream big and try hard for it. Some of us can follow what we dream of, while most of us don’t. Not all things we dream of, end up as nice and valuable as we might imagine, but still, it doesn’t stop us from dreaming.

I have few dreams of my own too. One of them is to author books, several of them. I dream that my books reach millions of people and stay here in this world for an exceptionally long time, even after I am gone.

Wishful thinking is it…. no brainer.

Thinking about becoming a novelist and writing are two different sports. One requires daydreaming while the other is challenging work. Whoosh! I have been at the first stage of this for as long as I can remember. No wonder.

It’s not that I don’t try. I do read about authors, and I found out there are a lot of writers who get inspired by events, occasions or people and put their work on the paper, do all due diligence and become successful.

I have also read about people who dreamt about books in their sleep. What if I am that lucky. I was waiting for a dream to come to me in my sleep. Which I can conveniently download onto paper, no writer’s block here. How convenient, I think.

One day when I got my wish. The story of that dream was far different from what I had envisioned in my naivety. It was a heart wrenching story, beyond my imagination. Every time I think about it, my heart drops. I thought a lot about whether to put it on paper and put it out in the world or not. What benefit would it bring to the world? And why did I see what I saw? I also ponder, what if this story is real and someone out there is suffering, would it help them or increase the pain they are in?

Maybe it is the real life of someone. That would be excruciating to see their life events open to the public, laying bare. I stood back, held my pen, and I am still perplexed

On the other hand, if I may draft a novel sometime, (not what I dreamt of, but what I came up with in the daytime) what makes me think that the subject of the storyline has never been touched and it’s unique in it’s all entity.

Would I be able to write something exclusive enough to get traction when every day thousands of write ups get rejected.

I want to write distinctive, impactful, intriguing and long-lasting pieces, which people read over and over again without regretting. I desire that words of my work shine a guiding light to the readers on which they can comfortably walk. To give them a guiding shiny star. It is wishful thinking on my side.

I am a flawed, insignificant, and a weak human being. Wishing to create a guiding star is not a human job, it's God’s. I can only create things which are only comparable to my limited resources and capabilities. I can only produce things which will be limited and flawed.

Even if, one day I may be able to write; it would not be a guiding star. I am sure of it. Which may be short lived. Which will be flawed and maybe full of contradictions and mistakes. But I hope, if I would one day, in its limited means, it would still be impactful, helpful and purposeful. It would give people something to hold onto. Help to inspire them or get advice from it. Maybe it will be able to put a smile on their faces or help uplift their hearts and brighten their eyes. Maybe one day. Until then I will keep dreaming.

Photo by Dabbas on Unsplash