Ikhlaq As a Foundation

By: Beenish Khurshid San Francisco, California

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has three traits within himself will find the sweetness of faith: one who loves Allah and His Messenger more than anything else, one who loves a servant only for the sake of Allah, and one who hates to turn back to unbelief after Allah has saved him, just as he hates to be thrown into the fire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Many of us grow up learning about the 5 pillars of Islam as the foundation of our Deen. Our religious upbringing focuses on learning the practices of our faith, learning Arabic, and learning Fiqh. Yet what many of us don't get taught growing up the the importance of ikhlaq and ikhlas in our Deen.

Our upbringing with regards to interpersonal relationships often focuses on "what would other people think?". I would argue, instead that we should raise our children to ask "What would Rasulullah SAW think and do?"

Rasulullah SAW is called a mercy to mankind, not only because he carried a most beautiful message, but also because he taught us how to live that message in the best of ways. When you read the book of ahadith, you read example after example of the beauty and mercy of Rasulullah SAW's character and his treatment of people. It is a character we should strive to embody in every word and action of our practice of not just our Deen, but our business and work dealings, and our personal/family lives.

Are we living up to the character of Rasulullah SAW? Below are a few examples that might serve as indicators of how well we are doing with regards to our Ikhlaq.

1. If your wife got angry and threw down and broke a plate that someone else had brought as a gift of food, how would you react? It was narrated from Umm Salamah that she brought some food in a dish of hers to the Messenger of Allah and his Companions, then 'Aishah came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: "Eat; your mother got jealous," twice. Then the Messenger of Allah took the dish of 'Aishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah to 'Aishah. (An-Nasa'i)

Notice how Rasulullah SAW did not get angry, raise his voice, raise his hand, or say something instigating or insulting. Instead, he remained calm, and urged everyone to remain calm and continue eating, recognizing where Ayesha RA's emotions came from.

2. Do you show affection to our children and loved ones? A man saw the Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, kiss his grandson Hasan. The man said, "I have ten children and I do not kiss any of them." The Prophet, upon whom be peace, said, "Verily whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy." (At-Tirmidhi)

3. Do we help out at home after a busy day's work? "What did the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?" Aisha said, "The Prophet would do chores for his family and he would go out when it was time for prayer." Source:Sahih-al-Bukhārī 676 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to (Al-Bukhari)

4. How would you treat a man who physically harassed you? A Bedouin once pulled Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) roughly by his coat, leaving traces on his neck and said to him: “Load these two camels of mine, for you do not give me anything from your property or from your father’s property!”

5. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) gently requested the Bedouin to release him. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) smiled and ordered someone to give him a camel load of barley and a camel load of dates. (Bukhari)

6. Would you be open to raising a relative or orphan in your own home as our own? Rasulullah SAW raised both Ali (his cousin) and Zayd (a freed slave) in his own home.

7. How do you deal with domestic violence? This is Rasulullah SAW's example: https://www.soundvision.com/ article/how-the-prophetmuhammad-fought-domesticviolence

Whether it is how he treated is wives, the guidance he gave to people and how he delivered it, the standards he held his close companions to, to how he treated women, and children. Every aspect of his interactions with people showed the amount of effort and care he put into acting with Ehsaan (excellence), kindness, and empathy, and yet still with justice.

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was never obscene or immoral. The Prophet would say, “Verily, among the best of you are those with the best character.” Source: Ṣ aḥ īḥ al-Bukhārī 3559, Ṣ aḥ īḥ Muslim 2321

I'd like you to consider this: what would our family, our community, our countries, and the Muslim world look like if we whole heartedly, and with conviction, adopted the practices of Ikhlaq of the Prophet SAW as strongly as we hold fast to Fiqh and religious practice?

What would our Ummah today look like? What would you look like? What would your family look like?

It all starts with you. Do you have the patience to exhibit greater character? Do you have the Tawakul in Allah and perseverance to maintain this higher level of character? Can you soften your speech while still being honest, just and fair? Can you treat others with love and mercy while still holding them and yourself to a higher standard?

Can we now live by the most excellent example, and be role models for our children and the generation to come?

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you cannot enrich all of the people with your wealth, but rather you enrich them with your cheerful faces and good character.”

Source: Shu’ab al-Imān 7567

Photo By Erfun Ghodoosi on Unsplash