The Stranger Vol. 22, No. 49 by Noisy Creek

County cop K.C. Saulet threatened to arrest Stranger news editor Dominic Holden after having his picture taken

Then, Seattle cop John Marion threatened to “come into The Stranger and bother” Holden at work

k F L ARTS

CLOUD CULT

Lelavision * Nu Klezmer Army

Samba OlyWA * Pyrosutra

Soto Style Dance

Caspar Babypants

Monarch Duo * Ama Trio

Bill Horist

Ranger & The Re-Arrangers

Anti-Fascist Meandering Band

Ian McFeron Band

Cabaret Long * Perri Lynch

Billy Joe Miller

Kristen Tollefson * Kate Endle

Mary Coss * Illuminatio Project

Billy & The Bouncers

The Dapper Owls

Kirk & Kevin Lauckner

Michael Sentkewitz

Ricky Gene & Acoustic Laboratory

Trio Duwamish * Anne Blackburn

Jon Grant Trio * Massiah

Entropy * Community Knit & Stitch

Juggling Workshops * Laughter Circle

Literary Readings * Nature Printmaking

Illuminated Parade

AUGUST

Volume 22, Issue Number 49 August 7–13, 2013

STUDY GUIDE

Questions for The Stranger, Volume

22, Issue 49

1. The single biggest news story in Seattle this week—Tuesday night’s primary election—is not covered in this week’s print edition of The Stranger. That’s because The Stranger is sent to press on Tuesday afternoon, and the primary results are announced several hours after the paper’s ﬁnal deadline. If you can think of a clearer and more compelling example of the rapidly decaying relevance of print journalism, please illustrate it in 250 words or fewer.

2a. In a Stranger restaurant supplement starring local chefs called Cheftown, one of the more unexpected interviews is with a Taco Bell employee who says: “I’m 34. My dream is pretty much over.” Is this the saddest two-sentence statement you’ve ever read in your life?

2b. If your answer to the above question is “no,” please share the saddest two sentences you’ve ever read. Supply context if necessary.

2c. If you are one of those smug people who believes that employees of fast food restaurants deserve what they get for being too “dumb” to get “real” work like you, how do you manage to sleep at night? Please list the relevant prescriptions and/or over-the-counter medications required to supply you with something resembling human slumber.

3. The Stranger’s music section continues to publish a gossip column titled “What’s Crappening?” On a graph, map the point at which an unfunny dumb joke somehow becomes funny again. On the same graph, illustrate how far away “What’s Crappening?” is from that point.

4a. On the cover and in the news section, DOMINIC HOLDEN explains what happened when he tried to take photographs of police ofﬁcers on public property. While the local police are clearly out of control, isn’t Holden’s self-mythologizing a tiny bit much? Why or why not?

4b. Which Stranger staffer do you wish had been harassed by police instead of Holden? Write a short story about your preferred writer’s encounter with authority.

5. In lieu of timely and relevant primary results, the feature story in this week’s Stranger is a story by MELODY DATZ about the puzzling lack of male birth control, an essay unfortunately titled “My Boyfriend Boils His Balls for Me.” Is this headline more or less juvenile than “What’s Crappening?” Can you think of a better headline for this story? (Hint: If you’re older than 10, you probably can!)

Photos by DOMINIC HOLDEN

Find podcasts, videos, blogs, MP3s, free classiﬁeds, personals, contests, sexy ads, and more on The Stranger’s website.

from

anal

Does it hurt to go

the

You may have an anal ﬁssure. (We’re completely serious and may be able to help)

You may qualify for a research study of an investigational cream. All study related medication and treatment will be provided at no cost. You do not need health insurance to participate. If eligible, you will be compensated for time and travel.

To ﬁnd out if you qualify, email VEN307@ventrusbio.com call 855-4-PAINAF (855-472-4623) or visit www.clinicalstudysites.com

LAST DAYS

The Week in Review

BY DAVID SCHMADER

MONDAY, JULY 29 This week of canine mayhem, instructive gunplay, and the worst first date in history kicks off in Arkansas, where this morning a man awoke to ﬁnd his dog eating one of his testicles. Details come from the police report obtained by KAIT 8 News, which identiﬁes the victim as a paraplegic with no feeling from the waist down, who awoke around 7:45 a.m. to a “burning pain” in his midsection, followed by the sight of his

TALK ABOUT A CASE OF THE MONDAYS!

“small, white, ﬂuffy dog” with blood on its muzzle and front feet. Then comes this quartet of sentences: “The victim said the dog was a stray he had taken in about three weeks earlier. The man was unsure if the dog had been vaccinated. Police took the dog to a local veterinarian where it was euthanized. Its head was sent to the Arkansas Department of Health to be tested for rabies.” The man was treated for his injuries and is expected to be ﬁne (for a paralyzed man lacking a ball who’s presumably sad about his dog).

TUESDAY, JULY 30 Speaking of waking up to violence, the week continues in New Hampshire, where very early this morning a

To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.

YOU’RE NOT E. E. CUMMINGS

Dear Applicant,

Please stop typing your name in allcaps or all-lowercase when you ﬁll out a form. I realize how much you want to try to feel unique in this increasingly faceless digital world. I get it. Here’s the problem: Whenever your data is read by an actual person—and believe me, the jobs of thousands of people entail eyeballing long lists of data for formatting problems and errors—your “unique” typing does not make you look cute. It makes you a nuisance. Some underpaid ofﬁce worker has to stop and make a decision about correcting you in the computer. You are contributing to her eye fatigue and frustration. It will not hurt you to move one step up the ladder of maturity. Just type your name correctly. Then go get all the tattoos you want.

man phoned police to report that he’d woken from a nightmare involving a gun to ﬁnd that he’d shot himself. “The man was alone in the house when the incident happened,” reports ABC News. “[His] wife, who was at work at the time, said he was probably sleepwalking.” Police do not know where the gun had been stowed prior to the sleep-shooting, and the man—who shot himself in the knee—is expected to recover from his serious-but-not-lifethreatening injuries.

•• Meanwhile in Pennsylvania, three more Penn State ofﬁcials were ordered to stand trial on charges “accusing them of a cover-up in the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal ,” the Associated Press reports. “Prosecutors showed enough evidence during a two-day preliminary hearing to warrant a trial for expresident Graham Spanier, former vice president Gary Schultz, and ex-athletic director Tim Curley, District Judge William Wenner concluded.” Condolences to the many good folks at Penn State, which is clearly doomed to spend the next hundred years toiling under an ancient-Indian-burial-ground-grade curse. (Still, 50 bucks says such shameful turn-ablind-eye-ism never happens on such a wide scale again.)

WEDNESDAY, JULY 31 Nothing happened today, unless you count Ex-Gay Pride Day in Washington, DC, a gloriﬁed press conference celebrating “freedom from the homosexual lifestyle” that supporters said would draw “thousands of ex-gays.” However, today’s festivities drew fewer than 10 people of unknown sexual orientation.

One HULK’S Opinion

HULK WANT TO WIKILEAK, TOO!

By the Incredible Hulk

Hulk frustrated by world today! All of sudden it fashionable for puny humans to wikileak. Puny Julian Assange wikileak. Puny Edward Snowden wikileak. Even puny army soldier Bradley Manning wikileak. But why no one ask Hulk to wikileak? HULK CAN WIKILEAK A LOT! Here are just few wikileaks that Hulk can wikileak about:

S.H.I.E.L.D. commander Nick Fury? He have TWO GOOD EYES. That patch just am affectation! He use it to gain sympathy and bang secret agent tail.

Captain America? Born in KENYA.

Spider-Man actually four-eyed nerd who eats own scabs. HA-HA. Nobody like nerd!

Professor X—he in wheelchair, right? One time, he crap own pants and nobody at X-mansion tell him for good 45 minutes! HA-HA, okay, that not funny.

Kitty Pryde smoke clove cigarettes and listen to My Chemical Romance when she think no one looking.

One time Mr. Fantastic fuck jar of peanut butter. That the rumor, anyway.

You know puny rich asshole Tony Stark? He actually IRON MAN! Oh… you know that already.

But did you know Tony Stark an ALCOHOLIC? Oh… you know that, too.

Okay, here am one! Hulk bet you not know Tony Stark pay Brad Pitt $3 million to stick his pinky up Tony’s butt! (He pay Angelina $1 million to watch.)

Thor am hippie. He make fork wind chimes to sell at street fair.

Okay, that all Hulk know! Now Hulk am most popular wikileaker in world! Unless… oh no. Unless She-Hulk blab all of Hulk’s wikileaks??

•• Meanwhile in Tacoma, two men paid an exceedingly high price for cheap beer after they sped away from the convenience store where they’d allegedly heisted the booze and into a fatal highspeed crash. “Ofﬁcer Loretta Cool says the ﬂeeing car was not being chased by police at the time, about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday, when it went out of control at a construction site 10 blocks from the store,” reports the Associated Press. “Both men were ejected and died at the scene.”

THURSDAY, AUGUST 1 In worse news, the week continues in New York City, where early this morning, a 35-year-old woman on a ﬁrst date fell to her death . “Jennifer Rosoff went outside on her balcony around 12:50 a.m. Thursday to talk and smoke a cigarette with her date when [her 17th floor apartment] balcony’s railing broke,” reports CNN. “She landed on a second-story construction scaffolding of the building and was pronounced dead at the scene.” Condolences to all.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 Nothing happened today, unless you count the kickoff to the ﬁnal weekend of Seafair, which will involve 34 arrests for boating under the inﬂuence and zero Blue Angels.

SHE-HULK! Don’t you dare tell about time Hulk got drunk and dress up like Sailor Moon! Or HULK… WILL… SMASH!!!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3 The week continues with another instructive tale of gun ownership, this one out of Cleveland, where early this evening a man tried to stop another man from driving drunk and wound up shot. “The victim was attempting to take the suspect’s keys in order to prevent him from driving while intoxicated,” reports Cleveland’s Fox 8. “The suspect fought with the victim and shot him in the chest.” The suspect was arrested, and the victim remains hospitalized.

•• Meanwhile in Utah, a recently crowned beauty-pageant queen was arrested early this morning after allegedly throwing homemade bombs at people and homes. Details come from KUTV, which identiﬁes our alleged bomb-hucking beauty as Kendra Gill, who was crowned Miss Riverton in June and is now preparing to compete for the title of Miss Utah. But according to police, last night Gill allegedly took time out of her pageant-training regimen to drive around with her friends throwing homemade explosives. “A probable cause statement released by the Salt Lake County Jail states that Miss Riverton, Kendra Gill, as well as Bryce Stone, Shanna Smith, and John Reagh, admitted to buying plastic bottles, aluminum foil, and household chemicals at a local store before building the bombs and throwing them from their car,” reports KUTV. “Witnesses reported people throwing the devices from a dark gray or black vehicle Stone was driving late Friday night or early Saturday morning… One home that was allegedly tar-

geted was that of Stone’s ex-girlfriend.” Miss Riverton and the members of her alleged bomb squad have been charged with 10 counts each of setting off an incendiary device.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 4 Speaking of amateur explosives, the week ends with a horrifying story out of Washington State, where today a man in Skamania County was arrested after allegedly using an explosive device to blow up his dog. Details come from KOIN 6 News, which identiﬁes the alleged dog exploder as 45-year-old Christopher Dillingham, who told police he detonated a homemade explosive that he’d attached to the neck of his family’s Labrador retriever because the dog had “the devil in it.” The early-morning explosion led to a ﬂurry of 911 calls and the arrival of police. “They found the remains of the dog strewn about the yard and arrested Dillingham on the spot,” reports KOIN. “Dillingham faces charges of second-degree malicious mischief, reckless endangerment, and possession of explosive devices, but not animal cruelty The prosecutor said that charge is used if the animal would have suffered, but the dog died instantly.” Dillingham remains held on $500,000 bail.

Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.

Bomb-throwing beauty queens at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG

Hostile Policing

After Cops Threatened to Arrest Me and Harass Me

When I Took Their Picture, I Decided to Test the Citizen Complaint Process to See if It Works

BY DOMINIC HOLDEN

Iwas riding my bike past Fifth Avenue South and South Jackson Street at about 7:25 p.m. on July 30 when I saw several ofﬁcers surrounding a young black man sitting on

a planter box. The cops were speaking loudly at him. As a reporter, when I see a buzz of police activity, I almost always stop to see what’s going on. As the ofﬁcers barked louder at the man, I took out my phone and snapped a photo.

From 25 or so feet away, I couldn’t discern what was happening, but the man stood up to leave. That’s when one of the ofﬁcers eyed me and yelled something like “He’s got a camera!”

King County Sheriff’s Office sergeant Patrick “K.C.” Saulet rushed over and told me to leave or I’d be arrested. He claimed I was standing on transit station property, that the International District Station plaza belongs to King County Metro and I could not stand there. I backed up until I was unambiguously on the City of Seattle’s sidewalk, near the curb. But Sergeant Saulet insisted that I would be arrested unless I left the entire block. He pointed east and told me to cross the street. Now, let me pause for a second to say this: When the US Department of Justice alleged that the Seattle Police Department was routinely using excessive force, federal prosecutors stressed in their 2011 report that officers were escalating ordinary interactions into volatile, sometimes violent, situations. That was followed last summer by a county audit upbraiding the King County Sheriff’s Office for mismanaging misconduct cases and not taking complaints seriously. Now a federal court controls the SPD under a reform plan, and the county’s new sheriff is

under unprecedented pressure to discipline his deputies, so the two agencies should be showing more civility on the beat. Or so you’d think. Back to Sergeant Saulet: “You need to leave or you’re coming with me,” he said, again pointing to the block eastward and threatening to arrest me.

SERGEANT K.C. SAULET Has 12 sustained complaints of misconduct.

Commuters, shoppers, and vagrants were milling about the sidewalk and plaza—some people were passing closer to the center of the police activity than I was—but I was the only person on that busy block told to leave (and the only person watching the police and taking their picture). I hadn’t tried speaking to the ofﬁcers, except to reply, I hadn’t been

Saulet had been reprimanded ﬁve times for excessive use of force and four times for improper personal conduct. Nonetheless, Saulet has kept his job and his rank as sergeant.

After snapping Saulet’s picture, I rode my bike across the street because I didn’t want to get arrested, even though standing on the sidewalk and taking photos of police from a reasonable distance, as far I know, is legal. I was jotting down a few notes so I’d remember what happened, when I saw three officers leaving the scene. Who at the scene was the commanding officer? I asked. They explained that, because they were Seattle cops, they didn’t know which county officer was in charge.

Then Seattle police ofﬁcer John Marion asked why I was asking.

I’d just been threatened with arrest for standing on the sidewalk, I told him (even though he was standing close by when it happened), so I wanted to know who was in charge and whether Marion thought it was illegal for me to stand on the sidewalk.

Instead of answering, Ofﬁcer Marion asked why I was asking questions.

I explained that I’m a reporter. He asked which news outlet I worked for, and I told him.

Ofﬁcer Marion shot back: “I’m going to come into The Stranger and bother you while you’re at work.” He asked for my business card, apparently so he could get the address to come to my ofﬁce (I didn’t give it to him), and, at least once more, he threatened to come harass me at work. His point, he said, was that I was “harassing” him at his work.

In other words, when I asked matterof-fact questions in a normal tone, this cop threatened to “bother” me at my job. If that’s not escalating a situation, I’m not sure what is.

interfering with them in any way, and I had been standing on public property the entire time. The ofﬁcers did not accuse me of any offense other than standing there. And at this point, the man I’d initially seen the police questioning was long gone.

Before I left the block, I asked for Saulet’s name—I didn’t know who he was until that point—and he pointed to his embroidered shirt breast. As I took a photo of it, he lifted his left hand, apparently in an attempt to block the

Before I rode off on my bike, I also took Ofﬁcer Marion’s photo. That’s him on this page, giving the Come at me, bro gesture.

Taking photos of ofﬁcers and standing on public property—if you’re staying out of their way, like I was—is legal. That was the word from King County Sheriff’s Department spokeswoman Sergeant Cindi West when I spoke to her two hours later. Although she couldn’t comment on my speciﬁc incident, she explained, “It’s a free country, and as long as you have a legal right to be there, you can take a picture.” She elaborated in an e-mail: “In general, a person cannot be ordered to stop photographing or to leave property if they have a legal right to be there. Additionally, if a group of people are in an area legally we could not order just one person to leave.”

OFFICER JOHN MARION Refused to answer questions and took this “Come at me, bro” stance.

shot, while his right hand rested by his pistol.

What I didn’t know at the time is that Sergeant Saulet has a long history of abusive policing. In 2006, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that he had 12 sustained complaints against him and “one of the worst misconduct histories in the King County Sheriff’s Ofﬁce.” Two years later, The Stranger reported that

Speaking on behalf of the Seattle Police Department, Sergeant Sean Whitcomb commented on the officer who threatened to harass me at my office. “It is our job—it is our job—to politely answer reasonable questions from members of the public when it is safe to do so,” he said. He also confirmed that questions regarding the on-scene commanding officer and the legality of standing on the sidewalk are reasonable.

“The public does not expect us to threaten them with a workplace visit for the sole purpose of bothering them,” Whitcomb added. Let me be the first say it: This is not a big case. Seattle police have punched, kicked, and killed people in recent years. What happened to me was comparatively minor. I have no injuries. But I’m writing about it—and filing complaints against the officers—because it’s minor. Officers went out of their way to threaten a civilian

DOMINIC HOLDEN DOMINIC HOLDEN

THE SCENE OF THE INCIDENT The ﬁrst photo I took.

DOMINIC HOLDEN

with arrest and workplace harassment for essentially no reason. Because they could. Because they didn’t like being watched.

civilian in his place of work. If either of those things are considered acceptable, we should change the code of police conduct, because both are insane. And if they aren’t considered acceptable, I expect the departments to punish the cops involved.

I’ll bet this sort of harassment happens every day. I would guess that cops treat normal, law-abiding people like garbage all the time—and it works. Most people don’t complain; they get intimidated. They get bullied, they back down, and the cops never face any scrutiny. Because I am in the unusual position of being a reporter, I am more familiar with police procedure than most people. I must also acknowledge that these are my allegations, nothing has been proven yet, and the ofﬁcers involved have not been charged with anything or found guilty in this investigation. However, as a reporter, it’s still my job to observe and report on cops.

“We’ve found that many ofﬁcers stymie individuals’ constitutionally protected right to observe the police,” says David Perez, an attorney for Perkins Coie, an international

Two days after my incident, Chief Jim Pugel announced in an e-mail to his roughly 1,300 sworn officers that the department had initiated an investigation (solely based on my questions). He said that my allegations, if true, clash with the department’s training on a program called Listen and Explain with Empathy and Dignity. (About half the city’s officers have attended this training.) Pugel added, “I am aware of the article by Mr. Holden in the Stranger Slog documenting the allegation of rudeness by one of my police officers.”

Pugel is a solid chief, but he missed a key point: I’m not alleging that a Seattle police ofﬁcer was rude to me. Rudeness would be a cop telling me to fuck off. Rudeness would be mocking my nasally voice. Rudeness would be saying my mama is so dumb she stared at a box of juice because it said “Concentrate.”

legal ﬁrm based in Seattle, who says my experience is “disheartening, but not surprising.”

In my case, it appears I was singled out of the crowd for taking photos, stopped without cause, and threatened with arrest for the singular purpose of suppressing my constitutional right to act as a free agent of the press.

If the officers had gone about their business, I would have assumed they had an unremarkable interest in talking to the man and left the scene. But instead, Saulet and other officers chased away an onlooker and acted as if doing so was standard procedure—very possibly representing the way King County Sheriff’s deputies seek out conflicts with citizens all the time. The Seattle cop escalated an ordinary situation, too, with his threats to “bother” me at work.

As the Justice Department pointed out in its 2011 report on SPD’s practices: “In a number of incidents, failure to use tactics designed to de-escalate a situation led to increased and unnecessary force.”

This ongoing pattern led to the SPD’s federal court settlement, yet still, some cops haven’t gotten the message. They are part of a stubborn, toxic culture of disrespect and intimidation, and until that culture is exposed and discarded—and until bad apples are ﬁred or retired—the local police forces will be reviled by people who should appreciate and trust them. Minor incidents like this shouldn’t be happening in the ﬁrst place, so I’m making an issue out of it. And some minor incidents turn into major incidents.

“Not only that,” Perez explains, “we’ve also found that officers sometimes go even further with those who refuse to back down. In particular, the ‘obstruction’ statute is used to arrest individuals that refuse to leave the scene of a crime, or refuse to stop filming or photographing officers—even though they’re trained not to arrest folks for these reasons. That’s probably what would have happened to you had you stayed there.”

He says using the law this way “not only chills free speech,” it undermines the right to observe police, which is crucial to police accountability.

Idecided to ﬁle complaints with both the city and county and provide recorded afﬁdavits. It shouldn’t be considered professional conduct for police to threaten law-abiding citizens with arrest. That’s intimidation. And it also shouldn’t be considered professional conduct for city police to respond to a simple question from a civilian—am I breaking the law?—with the threat of harassing that

I’m alleging something less funny. I’m alleging that Ofﬁcer John Marion escalated a normal interaction into a menacing one by asking where I worked, requesting a business card, and then, with what I believe was malicious intent, threatening to come “bother” me at my ofﬁce. That’s harassment. That’s an attempt at intimidation.

But it’s not clear that Ofﬁcer Marion’s behavior qualiﬁes as anything more than rudeness under SPD’s policies.

Sergeant Krista Bair, the investigator handling my intake, said my complaint would likely be governed by section 5.001 in the SPD’s Policy and Procedures Manual, which concerns standards and duties. As she pointed out, “You can’t write for every scene possible on the street.”

This already raises questions about the complaint system: Does the city need a speciﬁc policy tailored to every offense in order for SPD to acknowledge that what an ofﬁcer did was wrong? Is the complaint program rigged to only recognize certain problems such that it protects cops and diminishes complaints?

Pierce Murphy runs the division in charge of internal police investigations, called the Office of Professional Accountability (OPA). He acknowledged that my complaint was about Officer Marion threatening “to harass you at your place of work, not that he was being a jerk.” But the question for him isn’t whether the offense would be a violation of Washington State law or the city’s criminal code; it’s whether Marion violated something specific in SPD’s own policy and procedure manual. And Murphy isn’t certain a relevant policy exists. After only two months on the job, Murphy told me, “I don’t claim to know the SPD policy manual in and out yet.” I asked him what happens if a complaint doesn’t fall neatly into a category for which there’s a penalty, a question that Murphy described as “a hypothetical.” It’s up to Murphy what—if any—charge is brought against Officer Marion. He’s not sure how this process will play out and admitted, “I don’t know if at this point the OPA is at the efficacy level that you would want or I would want. We’ll see how well it works on this one. I kind of feel like I’ve got nothing to hide and everything to gain from you shedding your journalistic light on it.”

Sergeant Bair suggested that instead of pursuing my complaint, I could opt for mediation with Ofﬁcer Marion (assuming we were found eligible and both of us agreed to do it). Mediation would mean a third party would sit us down, let us hash out what happened, and help us understand each other’s point of view. But mediation comes with a catch. “There is no discipline for the ofﬁcer,” Bair said. In

other words, this form of restorative justice is a get-out-of-jail-free card for the cop. If you agree to mediation, the most that will happen is you and the cop will sit down and have a little chat. While some people may ﬁnd that cathartic, it seems backward to agree on facts in mediation—including facts that may prove an ofﬁcer violated your rights—only to render all of those facts impotent by forgoing any further right to exact justice in your case. Why would anyone do that?

And what happens if you decline mediation and pursue the complaint process? Few complaints filed with the OPA actually result in a penalty for the officer. The police department handled complaints against 243 employees last year, and of those, only 12 percent resulted in a sustained complaint and discipline (the rate the year before was identical). About 20 percent of cases resulted in more training for the officers. The rest—67 percent of the cases—were dismissed as unfounded, because the cops’ behavior was “lawful and proper,” or it was inconclusive based on the evidence.

Reaching a verdict on a complaint can take up to 180 days. It begins with an investigator, in my case Sergeant Bair, assembling the facts. For instance, she recorded an interview with me, asking questions like: Did you think Ofﬁcer Marion would actually come harass you at work? (If he’s irrational enough to escalate a normal conversation into an inquisition about my place of work and threatening to stalk me there, I wouldn’t put it past him, I told her.) Bair also acquired dash-cam footage from a nearby squad car. (It reportedly showed part of Ofﬁcer Marion, none of me, and didn’t have audio.)

Next, Murphy (the OPA director) and a former judge named Anne Levinson (the independent OPA auditor) will consider the facts, and Murphy will decide whether the case should be handled as an administrative review by the ofﬁcer’s command staff or be handled by internal investigators. If it’s handled by the investigators, the ofﬁcer will provide his testimony while more information is collected—such as interviewing other cops at the scene—and eventually Murphy will recommend punishment. The chief ultimately metes out a sentence, which rarely results in more than a brief suspension.

It’s a process arduous enough to make that gutless mediation seem worthwhile. And frankly, it’s enough to discourage anyone with a full-time job or family from committing to a complaint at all.

While that byzantine process can take ages, less than three hours after I complained on Slog that it was wrong to characterize the ofﬁcer’s menacing comments simply as “rudeness,” Mayor Mike McGinn issued his own strongly worded statement.

“Generally speaking, threatening and intimidating behavior, including threats of harassment, are not professional or courteous and are unacceptable in our police department,” wrote the mayor, who added he could not comment on this case speciﬁcally, because it’s an active investigation. “I will be following this matter closely to determine whether the department has taken to heart the changes the public wants to see.”

I appreciate the mayor taking a stance on this. As the city’s commander in chief, who has made mistakes with a troubled police force (to be fair, a police force that had troubles long before he arrived), McGinn is sending a critical message to our cops. Still, I wish more complaints about misconduct got this much attention—most get none—because I’ll bet some police ofﬁcers talk to civilians in Seattle this way routinely, and I’ll bet those are often people of color and the homeless. When that happens, the chief doesn’t issue a statement, the mayor says nothing, and it passes without a peep in the press.

In the week after my incident, the story was reported widely on social media and traditional news outlets. The Seattle Police Department has been heaped with scorn (especially on Facebook and Twitter). But my most serious complaint concerns the county officer who threatened to arrest me after taking photos in public, and then threatened to arrest me if I didn’t stand where he said to stand. I argued in a complaint filed last Friday with the King County Sheriff’s Office (KCSO) that Sergeant Saulet stopped me without cause, in what I believe was an illegal stop, with the singular intent of suppressing my constitutional right to observe activities in public.

As I mentioned, Saulet has been the subject of extensive internal discipline, as documented meticulously by Seattle Times reporter Lewis Kamb (who formerly worked for the Seattle P-I). On Twitter last week, Kamb linked to a trove of documents from his past reporting on Saulet’s dozen sustained complaints, including one for “slamming [a man] against the trunk lid of his car and striking him in the genitals with an open hand so it caused… pain,” according to a 1998 memo. In another memo, Major Richard Krogh told former sheriff Dave Reichert in 2001, “It is remarkable that someone would receive this number of complaints concerning courtesy issues.” That comment was about another complaint that Saulet verbally harassed two motorists—a complaint that was sustained.

Given his history, Krogh told Reichert, “I recommend that Sergeant Saulet’s employment with the King County Sheriff’s Ofﬁce be terminated.”

Reichert had plenty of reason to be concerned. Former sheriff Sue Rahr—a major in the department back in 2000—wrote to commanders at the time about another case involving Saulet, saying, “He clearly has a problem; this is not an isolated incident.”

But instead of ﬁring him, Reichert commuted Saulet’s penalty from termination to

A commander recommended that Saulet be fired for mistreatment in 2001.

a mere four-day suspension. Reichert is now a Republican congressman, and Saulet remains a sergeant.

The county’s failure to manage misconduct cases was the focus of an internal audit last July, which delivered a blistering takedown of discipline procedures: “For example, KCSO supervisors and the chain of command have not consistently enforced the policies and procedures to ensure officer accountability,” the audit found. It added, among more than a dozen other criticisms, that “senior KCSO leadership openly downplays the importance of the discipline process,” and that the final rulings on officers “lacked sufficient documentation of the rationale” to reprimand or exonerate an officer. Another problem: The investigations unit wasn’t adequately staffed.

In that vein, the ofﬁcer handling my case in the Internal Investigations Unit, Sergeant Michael Mullinax, also warned me they were short on staff. Mullinax needs to ﬁll in on patrol many days instead of conducting investigations, he said; don’t expect to reach him at his desk before 3 p.m.

Sergeant Mullinax may have the name of a Marvel Comics hero, but he has the soothing appearance of a fourth-grade math teacher. Wearing a practical Swiss watch and a blue button-up shirt, he sat me down at one end of a conference room table on the bottom ﬂoor of the King County Courthouse to take audio testimony of my complaint.

“I will be looking for video,” he said, noting that several ofﬁcers were present, but “we

don’t have civilian witnesses out there.” In some ways, the county process is similar to the city’s—it also can take up to six months— and begins with lots of questions. Mullinax presented me with Google Earth printouts of the intersection where the incident occurred, and I drew dots on them representing where the ofﬁcers and I stood.

He explained that this is how my complaint will be processed: After Mullinax has interviewed me, talked to Sergeant Saulet and other officers, and gathered evidence, he will hand off the case file to his captain. The captain will then hand the file to Saulet’s commander, the head of Metro security, Major Dave Jutilla, who will “review the file and write up the finding and recommendation.” At Jutilla’s discretion, the department will recommend discipline (or no discipline). If Saulet does face reprimand, he will enter into what’s called a loudermill, a hearing afforded to government employees facing punishment, in which the officer can appeal to the sheriff against disciplinary action.

The ofﬁcers can also attempt to rebut my claims in this hearing, although I won’t be present and I won’t be told what they say about me. I’m naturally suspicious, because this presents the opportunity for ofﬁcers to raise false allegations against me that I can’t respond to. (My only recourse would be to appeal the decision.)

It was after one of these loudermill hearings that former sheriff Reichert granted clemency to Sergeant Saulet more than a decade ago.

But now that John Urquhart has been elected sheriff he will make the ﬁnal decision.

“The sheriff can take the recommendation and ﬁndings from Major Jutilla and he can lessen it or add to it,” Mullinax explained as we wrapped up our meeting.

If I’m not happy with the result, “You can always ﬁle a civil lawsuit.” (Several lawyers have already offered to help if I choose to go

Our Prime Export Is Political

Seattle Is Helping Legalize in South America

BY BEN LIVINGSTON

Last week, the lower chamber of Uruguay’s parliament passed a bill to legalize cannabis. Although the move shocked United Nations drug war proponents, it elated pot legalization advocates around the world.

One of those advocates is Alison Holcomb, director of drug policy for the ACLU of Washington, who ran the campaign to legalize pot in Washington State. Since her landslide victory in November, Holcomb has become a bit of a celebrity in pot politics.

to court.)

According to an annual report by the county sheriff’s office issued in April, only one-fifth of the complaint cases last year were sustained against King County officers— which isn’t inherently problematic in itself, but it makes you wonder if civil lawsuits are more effective. The majority of allegations resulted in officers exonerated, while some claims were simply not upheld, and others expired after the 180-day window ran out. Of the 20 percent of instances where officers were punished, only 7 cops were terminated and 14 were suspended, while 45 officers only faced an oral warning, written reprimand, or some correction plan. That is to say, even in cases where there was a penalty, in more than twothirds of the cases, it was a slap on the wrist.

Rates in 2011 were similar: 22 percent of complaints were sustained. However, in that year, three-quarters of the remedial actions were trivial and only one-quarter were suspension or ﬁring.

Will this case be different for Saulet?

Detective Jason Stanley, called me Monday morning to say that when Saulet came in to work Sunday morning, “Sheriff Urquhart placed him on administrative leave.” Due to my complaints and the history of misconduct, Detective Stanley says the department is taking extraordinary steps during the Saulet investigation so they can “get to the bottom of it.” Saulet is getting paid to stay at home, perhaps for the duration of the investigation, and, for now at least, he’s only on call for desk work.

“This is unusual,” Detective Stanley added, “We’re trying to do the responsible thing.” All the top brass seems to be saying and doing the right things—so far. But we’ll see if this makes any difference. Stay tuned.

Continuing coverage at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG

and moral support, he says.

If the cannabis law is passed by Uruguay’s upper chamber—a move Aguiar expects sometime in late September—and signed by the president, it would mark the ﬁrst time a nation has legalized marijuana since the plant was internationally prohibited by the 1961 Single Convention on Narcotic Drugs, currently signed by 180 countries. (Pot is still technically illegal in places like the Netherlands and Portugal, and the one nation where it’s actually legal, North Korea, never signed the treaty.) Holcomb sees Latin American countries as crucial defectors in the strategy to dismantle pot prohibition.

“Uruguay is a critical domino,” she says. “The fact that a Latin American country is leading the way is so important to building momentum toward change in nations suffering most under current prohibition regimes, like Mexico.”

Not coincidentally, Holcomb visited Uruguay three times this spring by invitation of the Junta Nacional de Drogas—akin to our federal “drug czar”—and advocacy groups. They spoke about how Initiative 502 passed in Washington State, and she continues to join weekly calls with Regulación Responsable, a coalition of nongovernmental organizations promoting the legalization bill. “Alison has been very important to us,” says Sebastián Aguiar, a lead organizer for the group. Holcomb provided them with technical expertise

Holcomb thinks Guatemala and Colombia could be the next countries to opt out of the US drug war, and says the stateside marijuana votes have provided necessary cover for countries under friendly ﬁre from our federal government. “The votes in Washington and Colorado accelerated the conversation. The threat of US sanction has been greatly diminished.”

And as our vote helps Uruguay, their vote will help us, Holcomb says. “Success abroad protects success at home.”

SOURCES SAY

• At a design review meeting on August 5, dozens of people condemned a proposal to replace Wallingford’s beloved dive bar/ Chinese restaurant Moon Temple with a single-story CVS drugstore. Neighbors requested a less suburban-strip-mall-looking design, at least a story of residential units above the retail level, and the elimination of a surface parking lot. Seattle’s design review board voted to ask developers to basically start over, taking the neighborhood’s requests into account.

• Texas state senator and renowned ﬁlibustress Wendy Davis is coming to Seattle to speak at a NARAL fundraiser on Thursday, August 15. Tickets are $50 ($100 VIP) and are on sale now. Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!

• Seattle City Council challenger Kshama Sawant and three other activists—including beloved octogenarian pepper-spraytarget Dorli Rainey—were arrested July 31, attempting to block King County Sheriff’s deputies from evicting construction worker Jeremy Griffin and his dog Daisy from their South Park home. “I call on everyone who feels that working people should not be kicked out of their homes… to join the struggle to fight foreclosures and evictions in Seattle,” said Sawant, displaying a passion and conviction that obviously disqualifies her from public office.

• A local progressive spokesperson asked to do a prerecorded interview for KIRO Radio was surprised to ﬁnd aggressively stupid conservative talk jock Dori Monson on the other end of the line. “We no longer tell people it’s Dori” when setting up interviews, a KIRO producer reportedly confessed to the interviewee.

• Speaking of KIRO and stupidity: After dozens of taxicab drivers circled City Hall on August 2 to get the Seattle City Council to crack down on unregulated cars-for-hire, like Uber, the hosts of KIRO Radio’s Ron and Don Show seized on the protest to give taxicab drivers “a few tips” on how to “stay competitive.” Their number-one tip? “Take a shower.” Here’s a tip for Ron and Don: Go fuck yourselves. Labeling an entire industry of working-class people as unclean is just classist humiliation. Cab drivers have grueling, dangerous, ﬁnancially precarious jobs, and having a problem with taxi services doesn’t require treating drivers like shit.

• On August 5, the city council voted to send a charter amendment to elect city council members by district to the November ballot.

• Two-and-a-half years after promising to build a million-dollar playground at the Seattle Center in exchange for building a private Chihuly glass museum on public land, Seattle Center director Robert Nellams announced on August 6 that a group will begin seeking artists to design and build the playground on the three-acre site by 2014. “It’s taken quite a while. Why’d it take so long, Robert?” Council Member Jean Godden pressed Nellams during a council meeting. Nellams argued the plan was always to tackle the park after the Center’s 50th anniversary celebration—a bit of revisionist history that surprised Stranger staffers, who’ve obsessively covered this topic for years now.

ROCKIN PIANO SHOW

TURNTABLE CLINIC

August

My Boyfriend Boils His Balls for Me

After

birth control did scary things to my body, my boyfriend and I got desperate. Why aren’t there more birth-control options for men?

By Melody Datz

For seven nights out of every month, my boyfriend soaks his balls in a bathtub of 118-degree water for 45 minutes. He crams his six-footfour frame into our claw-foot bathtub and sweats profusely as a constant stream of hot water slowly kills off enough sperm to render him infertile for the next few weeks.

He does this so that I don’t get pregnant. This approach may seem dramatic—it is—but there are very few options available to men who choose to take control over their fertility. Vasectomies and male-driven condom use account for about a third of current contraceptive action in the United States, but the permanent nature of a vasectomy isn’t ideal for couples who, like us, would like to spawn at some point in the future. Condoms make the most sense, are superimportant in the effort to stop the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and are highly useful as barricades against wily sperm on the hunt for an egg. But one of the many pleasures of being in a long-term, monogamous relationship is not having to worry about such diseases, and we really don’t want to have to rely on condoms every time we have sex until I reach menopause.

So now my boyfriend shoulders the work of making sure we don’t get pregnant.

I will give you more detail on how he does it, but first let me just point out that this is a huge reversal of the usual rules of contraception. Most women prefer to have absolute control over our uteruses, and rightfully so. We want to be damn sure that we don’t have to deal with the physical, emotional, financial, social, and professional effects of childbearing before we’re ready—if ever. Pregnancy and childbirth are freaking brutal. The World Health Organization estimates that more than 800 women die from issues related to pregnancy and childbirth every day. At this incredible point in scientific development, where we can reveal a person’s DNA from an itty-bitty blood sample, transplant an organ from a dead person into a living person, and create a pill to give a man a boner without also giving him a heart attack, women have to worry about all sorts of crap—some of it life-threatening—from something as natural and necessary as pregnancy.

Besides the obvious hardship that comes with carrying a human-shaped parasite in my abdomen for nine months, I may face depression, high blood pressure, kidney problems, infections, constant puking and peeing, and hemorrhoids. And then there’s labor and delivery. If I give birth naturally, I will likely tear my vagina. I could break

Hormone-based pills made me bloat, bleed, and barf. A hormonesecreting IUD zapped my libido into oblivion. A copper IUD landed me in urgent care.

my tailbone. If I have to undergo a cesarean section, there are added risks associated with surgery. If I’m a teenager, living in a developing country or somewhere where health care just isn’t readily available, or if I don’t have health insurance, these risks are greatly increased. These are the risks we take as women who breed, and the risks that we avoid by using birth control. Men, of course, breed without facing these risks. All male contraception does is keep a sperm from successfully hooking up with an egg; it does not save men from any life-threatening physical side effects.

So it makes sense that there are a bazillion methods of female birth control available on the market, and most of them are fantastically effective and easy to use. Hormonal birth control, which is very popular, tricks a woman’s body into thinking it’s pregnant, preventing ovulation (release of an egg) by maintaining a constant level of hormones. The problem for some women is that these artiﬁcially regulated hormones affect more

secreting IUD beloved by many of my lady friends—and my gynecologist—completely zapped my libido into oblivion. (While a strong aversion to penis is an excellent contraceptive, it is not ideal if you’re naturally inclined toward cock.) A copper IUD got stuck somewhere in my uterus—they don’t work that way, and it hurt like a bitch—and landed me in urgent care with severe hemorrhaging. And so in the interests of our relationship, our futures, and my physical and emotional health, my partner researched male contraception and discovered the ancient art of ball boiling.

He began boiling his undercarriage only a few months into our relationship, after that copper-IUD nightmare. He lived in a co-op at the time with four women, and he shared a bathroom with three of them. He’s not a shy man—he’s the one who suggested that I write about our birth-control history for The Stranger, for Chrissakes—and he’d commence the boiling with an open-door policy. The ladies would come in and out to pee, to brush their teeth, to argue about who’d fed the chickens that day—and it kept his mind (somewhat) off his burning man parts.

We’ve now been together for five years. The baths suck, especially in the summer. One summer, he and I got tired of the rigmarole and he stopped boiling his balls for a month. Twelve weeks later, I was doubled over on the floor of my acupuncturist’s office, hemorrhaging from my nether regions and blacking out from the pain. I had an ectopic pregnancy: a viable, growing fetus stuck in my fallopian tube instead of neatly tucked away in my uterus. If not caught and treated in time, these tubes can rupture, causing internal bleeding, loss of the tubes, and death. I got to the hospital just before my tube ruptured—some people don’t.

than the ovulation cycle, just as ﬂuctuating hormones during a regular menstrual cycle affect more than the reproductive organs. Hormones do a lot more than just give us the tools to make people: They affect every part of our bodies, including the chemicals in the brain responsible for telling our bodies what we feel moment to moment and how we experience every aspect of daily life.

You know those stupid cartoons that say shit like “Be careful, I have PMS and a gun”? Obnoxious, yes, but the cultural meme of the hormone-crazed woman is based on very real biological events. During a menstrual cycle, estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate to make a woman ovulate. They also help make the uterus habitable for fertilization by building up the endometrial (innermost) tissue to allow a fertilized egg to implant and grow. At the end of the cycle, the uterus sheds the extra tissue if no egg implants. During these physical changes, the estrogen and progesterone (and progestin, the artificial form of progesterone in hormonal birth control) are abundant in the body and are usually just broken down and sent away. But sometimes they’re not, and an imbalance in these hormones causes other chemicals to go nuts, like decreased serotonin (which makes us happy) and increased norepinephrine (which makes us aggro). The emotional effects from the fluctuation in birth-control hormones were, for me, much worse than the changes that happened during a regular menstrual cycle.

Hormone-based pills made me bloat, bleed, barf, and so depressed that Morrissey lyrics held no irony. The Mirena, a hormone-

Of course, even with hormonal birth control in women, there are risks: In my early 20s, in a different relationship, I failed to take an all-progestin pill at the prescribed same time every day, and in turn it failed to keep me from getting pregnant. My partner at the time and I made the decision together to have an abortion—a shitty decision for anyone who’s ever had to make it, and also a profound one.

Considering all the responsibility pregnancy entails, available, affordable, healthy, and effective contraceptives should be available for both sexes. So why aren’t there more options for men? Why aren’t there more options for couples like us?

Dr. Stephanie Page is a medical doctor and immunologist at the University of Washington who’s currently working to develop a reversible hormonal-birth-control method for men. These treatments essentially disrupt spermatogenesis, the process by which men’s cells become sperm. With a surprisingly high success rate of 90 to 95 percent, Dr. Page’s results are astounding, but still not as effective as female hormonal contraceptives, which are more than 99 percent effective. The effectiveness rates Dr. Page has seen on male contraceptives just aren’t good enough to get the big pharmaceutical companies to kick in the bucks for clinical trials, and without that support, this research won’t be survive the long, rocky, expensive road to market.

And it’s not just funding. There are many other intertwined social and ﬁnancial hurdles with male contraception, as Dr. Page points out. Popularizing male contraception techniques in a male-dominated society could potentially be devastating to women whose bodies and/or ﬁnancial situations

EVAN HUGHES

EURO

Our contemporary platform bed is wrapped head to toe in leather giving it a casually minimal look. The drop-in slat frame eliminates the need for a box spring, keeping it clean and low. Choose brown, white, or grey bonded leather. Imported. Exclusively ours.

70" x 98" x 36"h. List $895 QUEEN BED $499 NOW THROUGH LABOR DAY

Also available in king: 86" x 98" x 36"h $749 List $1295

cannot support the number of children desired by their male partners. There is also the chance that increased availability of male contraception may decrease the use of condoms by people who use them primarily for birth control, causing—yikes!—an increase in transmission of STIs.

Men may not face the drastic physical side effects of being pregnant, but fatherhood is a life-changing event, and depending on only a condom is pretty scary for a guy who’s not looking to make babies. Dr. John Amory, another male-contraception researcher at the UW, explains his interest in male-contraception development from a personal standpoint: “Parenting is a wonderful thing, but better when people are interested in being parents. As a clinician, I take care of lots of women with adverse effects from birth control or who have contraindications to the treatments” from existing medical conditions or current medications. But, says Amory, “Since male contraceptives aren’t treating anything, they need to be safer than even aspirin or Tylenol if we’re going to take them to market. All medicines are toxins, but giving them at the right doses is what makes them medicine, and this is tricky. I’m not despondent over where we are in the process. I wouldn’t have devoted my research career to it if I were. There are a lot of unique things about how the body makes sperm, and this gives us a lot of ways to approach [the development of male contraceptives].”

The key word there is “tricky.” To develop a successful male contraceptive, researchers must develop a treatment that renders men clinically infertile, meaning there must be so few viable sperm in a man’s ejaculate that his chances of impregnating a woman are virtually impossible. Female hormonal contraception just has to stop a woman from ovulating once a month. That’s a much easier scientiﬁc hill to climb than going after the approximately 300 million sperm that swim in every teaspoon of male ejaculate. It makes sense that so many bigtime funders who pour money into research to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancy are going to be way more keen to face the huge-painin-the-ass process of developing birth control for women than for men, even though male birth control would mean so much for women who can’t take birth control and for men who desire control over their own fertility.

RISUG: reversible inhibition of sperm under guidance. It’s a kind of reversible vasectomy in which the mobility of sperm is hindered by a chemically produced polymer as they pass through the vas deferens (the vessel that transports sperm from the testis out through the penis). The chemical is delivered via injection to the scrotum, which sounds freaky, although possibly a lot less freaky than taking a knife to the penis to create a permanent roadblock to babydom. Information about the RISUG method is spotty—some of the best information I found about it was not in medical journals but from an article in Wired. While the relative safety and viability of RISUG is yet to be established, it theoretically sounds pretty damn cool, at least to someone without a scrotum.

The other ball-intensive approach to the war on sperm—the heat method my boyfriend and I use—is great if you can put in the time and energy, but not many people really want to do this. The water in a hot tub rarely exceeds 104 degrees (or shouldn’t).

Sperm-killing water must stay above 116 degrees—FOR 45 MINUTES. This means sitting in a tub (or in a sitz bath or on something really hot) for a long time while continually monitoring the temperature to make sure it’s high enough to zap the little bastards. My boyfriend downs a couple of pitchers of ice water during every bath. And, again, it’s incredibly time-intensive—45 minutes out of every evening for a week out of every month, not to mention the time it takes to run the water and cool down afterward.

Sperm-killing water must stay above 116 degrees for 45 minutes.

Take the example of Amory’s current research into nonhormonal contraceptive treatments for men: Based on an observation that a lack of vitamin A in mice renders them blind and infertile—but still horny—Amory is looking for a method to block the spermproducing enzymes created by vitamin A in the testes. His team is well on the way to success, he says. “My chemists rock, my team of biochemists is superior. All we have to do now is ﬁnd a compound to block the enzyme manufactured by vitamin A that is site-speciﬁc to the testes, test it in animals and then in humans, generate the intellectual property for the UW to patent, license to a drug company to test in clinical trials, and get it to market. This is what we have to do—we don’t have the billion bucks to get these medications through clinical trials to approval.” Every medication available to us on the market goes through this process of development, testing, regulation, and licensing, so it’s not surprising that male contraceptives are taking so damn long to hit the shelves.

There are other methods of male contraception currently being tested all over the world. In India, researchers are conducting clinical trials of a treatment known as

Then the sperm must be counted, usually every few months at a clinic or at home with a microscope if you’re really sciencey. Someone who chooses this method must be dedicated, disciplined, and very patient. Perhaps this is why the heat method hasn’t ever been taken very seriously by the research community as a sole method of contraception. Maybe it’s because getting a pharmaceutical company to test and market this is highly improbable, or maybe it’s because the time and energy that a man must put into heating his balls is so high in comparison to the questionable success rate. We have to use my boyfriend’s 118-degree baths as one layer of a three-part nonhormonal birth-control system that includes Toni Weschler’s Fertility Awareness Method and good ol’ coitus interruptus. The Fertility Awareness Method is a rather time-consuming effort as well, involving daily recording of body temperature, cervical ﬂuid descriptions, daily activities, and life events.

It’s cool, though: Years of doing this have taught me and my boyfriend some amazing things about the nature of the human body. I’ve always had a soft spot for chemical reactions, probably stemming from the ﬁrst time I mixed baking soda with vinegar and red food coloring to make lava spew out of my papier-mâché volcano. My body is just a more complicated version of that volcano, containing the ability to set in motion a series of chemical and biological reactions that result in a freaking person. A PERSON. Only I’m a bit of a delicate volcano without the ability to handle a lot of hormonal fucking-with, so I’m unable to take the more common routes to pregnancy prevention. It’s a damn good thing there are people out there like Dr. Page and Dr. Amory who will someday develop male contraceptives that help out people like me. And it’s a damn good thing that I have the boyfriend that I do. He boils his balls for me. I love him.

theSTRANGER SUGGESTS

Night of Genius: Art ART/GENIUS

Tonight’s the night when you get to meet the visual art ﬁnalists for this year’s Stranger Genius Award: painter/writer/ organizer Matthew Offenbacher, painter/sculptor Sherry Markovitz, and video artist Rodrigo Valenzuela. Questions to consider asking them: What does Offenbacher’s puppet say? Why does Markovitz pile up the bodies? How is Valenzuela’s art wrong when it feels so right? Plus, you get to wander around in a museum after-hours, drink cocktails, and after all that, head over to Vito’s for a secret drink special. There are Five Nights of Genius—consecutive Wednesdays at the Frye—and this is the third. Come to them all! (Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave, fryemuseum.org, 5:30 pm, $10, 21+) JEN GRAVES

‘Carcass’ ART

Every summer, in the far-ﬂung woodsy woods and rolly rivers of the Northwest, there are a handful of worthy events that you never seem to make it out to, and the LoFi Arts Festival at Smoke Farm is chief among them. (This year’s festival is August 24.) Lo-Fi’s organizers, therefore, are bringing past Lo-Fis to these concrete canyons in the form of Carcass, “a plop-art curation of sitespeciﬁc work” from previous festivals. There will be “remnants from projects” as well as reenacted performances that explore the opposition of these two spaces at tonight’s reception, and the artist list is long, from Adria Garcia and Sierra Nelson to Tessa Hulls and Anne Blackburn. (Canoe Social Club, 417 E Loretta Pl, urseaworthy .org, 5 pm, free, through Sept 13) JEN GRAVES

Best Coast, Cumulus

Shawn Vestal

BOOKS

Loving beautiful things is both lazy and obvious. Of course everyone adores flowers and sunsets and butterfly migrations. Yawn me a river. Real, wholehearted love comes only after confronting a subject’s crusty, clubfooted, circus-freak-witha-belly-button-infection flaws and embracing it anyway. In Godforsaken Idaho, Shawn Vestal turns his eye on his birthplace’s remote clusters of broken people—Mormons, renounced Mormons, drug havers, drug takers, white-collar criminals, lovers of small rat dogs—and describes their mundane flaws in such exquisite detail that it can only be love. Give Vestal your ear. Let him make you fall in love with godforsaken Idaho, too. (University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, www.bookstore.washington.edu, 7 pm, free) CIENNA MADRID

Panabrite

Too many times, I’ve seen Panabrite (Seattle keyboard wiz Norm Chambers) lug his unwieldy array of magical analog synths to venues, only to play early slots to meager crowds. That is a cruel fate for an individual who creates the closest thing this region has to a heavenly spin on new-age music. Tape by tape, album by album, Panabrite is rehabilitating that scorned genre, lofting celestial tone poems that split the difference between Vangelis and JD Emmanuel. Enter his enchanted sphere. (Cairo, 507 E Mercer St, cairocollection.blogspot.com, 8 pm, $5, all ages) DAVE SEGAL

People have called Best Coast “chillwave,” but that term is as illusive as “hipster,” so I like to think of the lo-fi band as “beachcore.” Don’t get that confused with Jimmy Buffett, though—Best Coast are more magical than novelty. There aren’t any songs about margaritas (I don’t think), but their relaxed, fluid pop is slightly distorted and fuzzy, like the sonic equivalent of a lens flare glowing in the corner of all your vacation photos. Arrive on time to see local opener Cumulus. The Seattle band was recently signed to Trans-Records, run by Death Cab for Cutie’s Chris Walla. (Neumos, 925 E Pike St, neumos.com, 8 pm, $20 adv, all ages) MEGAN SELING

Andre Gregory Double Feature

FILM

The legendary avant-garde theater-maker is captured from a variety of angles at the Northwest Film Forum. Up ﬁrst is André Gregory: Before and After Dinner, the 2013 documentary telling Gregory’s life story, directed by Cindy Kleine (who also happens to be the man’s wife). Then comes My Dinner with André, Louis Malle’s celebrated gabfest of 1981, during which Gregory and longtime friend Wallace Shawn have dinner in a Manhattan restaurant and talk about art and life and civilization. (Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave, nwﬁlmforum.org; Before and After Dinner 7 and 9 pm; My Dinner with André 7 and 9:15 pm; $10 each; Aug 9–15) DAVID SCHMADER

‘Gruesome Playground Injuries’ THEATER

The small, deft Gruesome Playground Injuries duels with your emotions like an expert fencer. Each brief scene is a moment between Doug (the boyishly charming Richard Nguyen Slonkier) and Kayleen (a dark and intriguing Amanda Zarr) at a moment of injury—sometimes physical, sometimes emotional, and often both. It opens with them meeting in a school nurse’s ofﬁce at 8 years old and ping-pongs through their adolescence and adulthood while they rack up several decades’ worth of scars. (Azeotrope at Little Theater, 608 19th Ave E, brownpapertickets.com, 2 and 7:30 pm, $25) BRENDAN KILEY

Toby Barlow BOOKS

Toby Barlow’s sophomore novel, Babayaga, is set in Paris in the 1950s, and it features spies, witches, and a cop who’s been transformed into a ﬂea. Those three elements together are intriguing, but the fact that it’s written by Barlow, whose excellent ﬁrst novel, Sharp Teeth, was a werewolf story written in blank verse, is what makes Babayaga especially interesting. If Barlow can get armies of nerds excited about a book-length poem about a lycanthrope war, a stylish Cold War novel about a spy running up against characters from Russian folktales is a slam dunk. (Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, elliottbaybook.com, 7 pm, free) PAUL CONSTANT

Sherry

Markovitz

KELLY O

LITERATURE GENIUS SHOWCASE

The Love Markets

This

ART

Cereal Killers

What if Pop-Culture Art Is the Art of the Future?

BY PAUL CONSTANT

Not so long ago—as recently as the late 1990s—nerds were taught to live in shame, to hide their interests away from the general public, at the risk of ostracism and lifelong virginity. That’s the culture in which I learned to enjoy comic books and science ﬁction novels and Dungeons & Dragons and genre movies: with the knowledge that if my employers and casual friends ever discovered the depths of my love for nerdy things, I would be branded an outcast. So the proliferation of the internet, through which we all quickly learned that everyone is a nerd about something, has changed the course of my life for the better.

But sometimes I can’t help but think that a little critical thought applied to nerd culture would be a good thing. Nerds of a certain age are so frenzied with excitement about being able to share what they love—without fear of noogies and wedgies—that sometimes they forget that just because something is nerdy doesn’t mean it intrinsically has value.

For example: Ltd. Art Gallery is hosting Saturday Morning, a collection of art (largely paintings) mostly inspired by ’80s and ’90s cartoons. Ltd. Art Gallery is not the ﬁrst pop-culture-centric gallery, and it sure as hell won’t be the last. In LA, Gallery 1988 (“The #1 destination for pop-culture art!”) has turned pop-culture art into a booming business, taking its Crazy 4 Cult art festival to New York City to much acclaim. This is just the beginning of what looks to be a lucrative

portrait of Lion-O from Thundercats, in a place of pride in their home? Do they love the leader of the Thundercats so much that all the action ﬁgures and DVD box sets and comics and posters don’t display enough devotion to the Thundercats brand? Or is it, somehow, ironic? Do they think it’s funny? Or am I frustrated with this just because I come from that time when nerds were pilloried, and I’m suffering from some sort of residual Stockholm syndrome that causes me to shame nerds the way I was once shamed for being a nerd? Or maybe it ultimately comes down to this: I have this fear. When I was a kid, my babyboomer teachers used to spend hours telling us how great life was in the 1960s when they were kids, how they fought the establishment and how they won. When they weren’t doing that, they were describing the way their generation’s greed had destroyed the world and left it a mess for us. They didn’t seem to realize that their nostalgia and their narcissism were basically the same thing. Sometimes I think about all the kids I grew up with who

LOOSE LIPS

business. And Saturday Morning is a perfect example of the form: designed to capture the interest of young and youngish people with lots of disposable income and boundless affection for their own nerdy youth.

Please, let’s be clear: I’m not against fan art. I adore folk art of all kinds, and the fan art you can now find all over the internet is often inspirational, mystifying, and/or hilarious. Fan fiction—speaking in the voice of a writer, using toys from that author’s sandbox—is the way lots of writers learn how to write, and aspiring artists can learn by riffing on the cartoons and comics that they love, too. But seeing this work displayed in a gallery makes me a little bit queasy, and I can’t quite figure out why.

I keep trying to pin my feelings down into an easy elevator pitch. For a while, I had formulated something along the lines of “If the corporation that owns the intellectual property in the art would be willing to sell the art without any changes, it’s not art.” Jayson Weidel’s Scooby, a huge acrylic painting of Scooby-Doo’s face, doesn’t even bring anything new to the IP; it’s just a huge painting of Scooby-Doo. (Other paintings in the series include Yogi, Fred [Flintstone], and Huckleberry.) At $100 a pop, Weidel is just proﬁting on Hanna-Barbera’s characters’ likenesses. There seems to be no artistic touch, no fair-use alteration to the cartoon character to make it Weidel’s own. Likewise, Derek Eads’s Pikachu, a collage of the most popular Pokémon character, is not so much art as an unabashed tribute that Nintendo could be hawking on its website.

But that deﬁnition operates under the assumption that art has to be transgressive or even just original to work, and I don’t think that’s true. Some of the art that does add a vision not already in the original text, like Dave Perillo’s Bayside Class of ’93, which depicts the cast of Saved by the Bell in stylized cartoonish portraits, is just as vapid as Weidel’s portrait. And, really, who buys all this stuff? Who would put Candice Ciesla’s Hooooo!, a

are now teachers—some of them teaching in the same public schools in Maine that we all attended—and I wonder if instead of complaining about Nixon and rhapsodizing about the Summer of Love, they just tell the kids how awesome it was to be around when Transformers and G.I. Joe were originally on the air. Sometimes I worry that nostalgia is all we have to offer the future.

BOOKS

American Summer Reading

Now Is the Time to Read Americanah

BY PAUL CONSTANT

Is “summer reading” still a thing? Do people still enthuse over “beach books”? Sure, the idea appeals to overworked periodical arts section editors desperate to stuff their shrinking pages with some easy content, but the idea of beach reading seems quaint somehow. Readers should feel comfortable in the knowledge that any kind of book—including the trashy, the dumb, the deeply strangulated by constricting conventions of genre—can be enjoyed at any time of the year, with no seasonal apologies necessary, but you should also feel welcome to read Dostoevsky by the shore.

On a recent vacation, I took along some serious books: Christa Parravani’s Her, a maddening, mournful eulogy for the author’s twin sister; Give Me Everything You Have, James Lasdun’s egotistical account of being stalked. I took some ﬂuff: Matthew Hughes’s funny, Satan-meets-superheroes comedy The Damned Busters; Robert Harris’s excellent, wildly off-the-rails thriller Archangel. But only one book left me feeling satisﬁed and different, in the way that a great reading experience should. It was a novel called Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and I can’t say enough good things about it.

Americanah is the story of a Nigerian woman named Ifemelu who comes to America to continue her studies. She leaves behind her ﬁrst love, a serious young man named

• Last week at the Frye Art Museum, the three finalists for the 2013 Genius Award in film showed clips and took questions. Scott Blake said he made the 25-minute western Surveyor “because I hate westerns.” Cinematographer Benjamin Kasulke talked about the vastly different ways different directors explain what they want: “Many directors are like most of us—they don’t have all the words.” And International Sign for Choking director/ star Zach Weintraub talked about taking very long shots and just seeing what happens. The audience included some of the most interesting and productive artists in the city, including filmmakers Lynn Shelton and Rob Devor, composer Chris Jeffries, and graphic novelist Ellen Forney. Three more talks with 2013 Genius finalists: August 7, the finalists in art; August 14, in literature; and August 21, in performance (all at the Frye). (In other Lynn Shelton news, she was knighted at Seafair and may hereafter be referred to as “Duchess of Divine Directing, Effervescent Laughter, and Joyous Sets.”)

• Speaking of Stranger Geniuses, 2011 ﬁlm winner Gary Hill’s freakish production of Beethoven’s only opera, Fidelio, will play at the Edinburgh Festival this weekend. Hill’s Fidelio involves psychedelic video, characters riding around on Segways, and Harry Martinson’s 1950s science ﬁction poem Aniara. “People could come here and think they’ve come to the wrong opera,” Hill told the Scotsman. Of the production, the newspaper wrote, “It will either thrill or shock you.” Cheers to weirdness.

• Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post on Monday. The Post has been owned by the Graham family for four generations. At press time, nobody knew what the fuck Bezos could possibly be thinking.

• In a clever and useful article on the website BuzzSauce, Ashley John predicts the contestants on the forthcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race by tracking down high-proﬁle drag queens who’ve abruptly gone quiet on social media (which is forbidden for Drag Racers during ﬁlming). On the list: Seattle treasure Ben DeLaCreme, the glamour-camp queen who’s reportedly been silent on Facebook since May 16. According to multiple birdies, the rumor is true. In the words of the immortal Latrice Royale: May Ms. DeLaCreme get up, look sickening, and make them EAT IT.

• Seattle artist Naoko Morisawa has been awarded a Puffin Foundation grant. The Puffin Foundation, based in New Jersey, is a fairly unusual funder. For 25 years, it’s directed money to artists and arts orgs “excluded from mainstream opportunities due to their race, gender, or social philosophy”—artists who would otherwise be endangered like the puffin, the foundation’s website says. Morisawa makes intricate wood mosaics made of hundreds of oil-dyed wood chips. Congratulations!

• As of last Thursday, only a few glorious sparkles were left uncovered on the nyan cat mural we've loved above Ding Ho Cleaners on Madison—the entire thing appeared to have been painted over. Tear dropping.

Obinze. They keep in touch, the way young lovers do, and then something happens, and all of a sudden they’re strangers to each other. Ifemelu grows up to enjoy her life in America, but Obinze’s parallel story always haunts her.

Adichie, who grew up in Nigeria herself, documents the way “enlightened” Americans revere foreign cultures—especially those they consider to be more primitive than our own—while at the same time expecting immigrants to be weirdly deferential to American opportunity. A woman named Kelsey comes into Ifemelu’s friend Mariama’s hair salon and tries to strike up a conversation.

[Kelsey] asked where Mariama was from, how long she had been in America, if she had children, how her business was doing.

“Business is up and down but we try,” Mariama said.

“But you couldn’t even have this business back in your country, right? Isn’t it wonderful that you get to come to the US and now your kids can have a better life?”

Mariama looked surprised. “Yes.”

“Are women allowed to vote in your country?” Kelsey asked.

A longer pause from Mariama. “Yes.”

But looming over everything in Americanah—more disruptive, even, than the experience of being an immigrant—is race. This is a novel that takes America’s racial politics on directly, often in the form of autobiographical blog posts written by Ifemelu. Here’s the ending of one titled “Why DarkSkinned Black Women—Both American and Non-American—Love Barack Obama” (much of the narrative takes place in 2008, when Obama’s presidential campaign was striking up this conversation):

In movies, dark black women get to be the fat nice mammy or the strong, sassy, sometimes scary sidekick standing by supportively. They get to dish out wisdom and attitude while the white woman ﬁnds love. But they never get to be the hot woman, beautiful and desired and all. So dark black women hope Obama will change that. Oh, and dark black women are also for cleaning up Washington and getting out of Iraq and whatnot.

This is a Dickensian novel, by which I mean most polite novelists would happily chop off limbs rather than challenge the social issues. Ifemelu dates different American men—a black man who changes cultural codes to ﬁt every situation he’s in without even really realizing it; a privileged, wealthy white man who angrily ﬁghts for Ifemelu when she is discriminated against, without considering the racial implications of his actions—and devotes dozens of pages to the incredibly com-

plicated racial politics of hair. Americanah’s tone is chatty and light but pointed, and the thick book has the space to breathe and examine the topic of race in America from multiple angles. (Ifemelu even acknowledges that her role as an outsider who wasn’t born into America’s racial politics means that she has an imperfect understanding of the context.)

This isn’t the kind of book that Barnes & Noble’s marketing staff would sell as a “summer read.” But I can’t imagine a more perfect book for this summer, when George Zimmerman walked free and in so doing revealed all the maggoty harm hiding just beneath the surface of America. Americanah’s not a summer book. It’s this summer’s book.

THEATER

Theater Review Revue

Language at Annex, Sex at Intiman

Precious Little

Annex Theater

Through Aug 31

Precious Little, a play written by Madeleine George and directed by Katherine Karaus, has one unambiguous destination: the core of human vocal language. It travels to this point by four means. The ﬁrst is a research project conducted by a 42-yearold professor, Brodie (Sarah Papineau), who studies dying Eastern European languages. (She also happens to be a lesbian, pregnant,

and having an affair with one of her graduate students.) Second is the subject of this research project, Cleva (Mary Murﬁn Bayley), a babushka who is one of the last remaining speakers of a dying language. Third is a gorilla in a zoo, which was trained by scientists to speak or at least communicate with human beings. Fourth is the thing becoming a language-speaking animal—a human—in the professor’s womb.

In terms of mood, performance, and pace, Precious Little is on very good legs until, deep in the play, it begins to approach its destination—what the 20th-century German philosopher Heidegger famously called the “house of being” (the sound of human words, the content of human words, and the depth and history of human words). To quote Professor Brodie (from memory): “We spend lots of money trying to teach apes to speak when human languages are perishing all the time.” But why is it important to sustain and preserve these endangered languages? The play appears to be leading us to the ﬁnal answer of this question. We see clues in the fetus’s abnormal development (there is the risk of it being born with a mind that’s too slow to grasp and perform basic speech functions), the deteriorating mental condition of the babushka the professor is recording (the more and more the old woman remembers of the violent past contained in the dying language, the more and more unstable she becomes), and in the movements of the gorilla the professor visits at the zoo (it seems to know something about language that humans have completely missed).

Ultimately, the play ends without reaching its destination. This failure mirrors Heidegger’s failed attempt to reach the heart of being in his incomplete work Sein und Zeit

In that book, we only get to the waiting room of being and never actually enter the door to the core. With Precious Little, we are left in the waiting room of language with a bad fetus, a sad babushka, a research project in disarray, and a gorilla that is hiding some crucial secret.

CHARLES MUDEDE

Lysistrata

Intiman Theater at Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center Through Sept 12

In the program for its second summer theater festival, Intiman announced it would address the “four topics a polite person shouldn’t discuss at dinner: race, sex, politics, and money.” Lysistrata, the Aristophanes play about women organizing a sex strike to get their men to stop warring, is the sex one. And a sex one it is, with comically engorged genitals (actors wear enormous squirt-gun penises with glowing blue balls), padded breasts and asses, stripteases, and near-rapes. This Lysistrata is raunchy and slapstick, full of curse words and double or triple entendres: “What if they stopped the war ’cause nobody came?” Adapted and directed by Sheila Daniels, it’s modernized—the dialogue is in rhyming verse but with contemporary language (“YOLO!”), there are multiple musical numbers set to pop songs, and when protagonist Lysistrata goes to read the “sacred text” from an oracle, it’s a text message. Set on a military base in Afghanistan, Lysistrata is also a play within a play, a group of active-duty soldiers putting on the old Greek story as a sort of talent show that is occasionally interrupted by gunﬁre and explosions.

But all the levels it’s working on get muddled and mashed: the old and new language, the costumes partly pieced together from camo pants and squirt guns but also tulle and glitter, the cranked-up-to-11 high jinks of the sex comedy, and the bracing drama of young soldiers in danger. Instead of ﬁnding a steady tone, it goes from 100 percent dirty joke to 100 percent devastating violence, like the lumpy result of a poorly mixed cake batter. There are moments to enjoy—the women singing the Cranberries song “Zombie,” the dance number to Destiny Child’s “Independent Woman,” and Shontina Vernon as the ﬁerce born leader Lysistrata, rallying the lustful women (some of whom desperately want to sneak out of their fortress to visit their lovers) to their shared goal.

But the overall result needs a lighter touch. The obvious parallel between the endless, pointless Peloponnesian War and the war in Afghanistan, the fascinating equality of the sexes when it comes to, well, sex—both are conceptually interesting, but not when you’re being bludgeoned about the face with them.

ANNA MINARD

IAN JOHNSTON ANNEX THEATRE

PRECIOUS LITTLE A sad babushka, a bad fetus, and a secretive gorilla.

VISUAL ART GENIUS SHOWCASE

AT THE FRYE ART MUSEUM

See the work that made us fall in love with these Genius finalists during VISUAL ART night of this 5-part series. Cocktails. Exclusive access to the museum. Q&A session with the finalists. Hosted by Jen Graves! WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7 | 5:30-8 PM |

PETER VON ZIEGESAR

The Looking Glass Brother

St. Martin’s

“Von Ziegesar’s cinematic eye and exceptional fluency in diverse perspectives make him an adventurously empathic biographer and audaciously candid memoirist in this piercing, thought-provoking portrait of a many-branched American family and a looking glass brother who reflects so many of life’s most plangent mysteries.” – Booklist

Peter Von Ziegesar reads Monday, August 12 at 7 p.m.

J.M. SIDOROVA

The Age of Ice Scribner

“Jeweled with the kind of narrative intricacies and heights of fancy that transform a good story into a sensory glut, in this mesmerizing debut Sidorova reduces you to a primal state of readership, rekindling in every far-flung childhood memory you have of what it means to experience a great book.” – Téa Obreht.

J.M. Sidorova reads Wednesday, August 14 at 7 p.m.

JEFF GUINN

Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson

Simon & Schuster

Manson is not simply a biography of a killer and a cultist, it’s a history of American culture from the Great Depression to the close of the 20th century. It’s the dirty boogie in four-four time, a fascinating study of greed, mind control, celebriphilia, sex, narcotics, racism, and the misuse of power … It’s the story of Nixon and Johnson, Martin Luther King, Vietnam, the SDS, the Black Panthers, the acid culture, and a nation coming apart at the seams … This is a rip-roaring ride you won’t forget.” – James Lee Burke.

Jeff Guinn reads Monday, August 19 at 7 p.m.

1521 10th Avenue • 206-624-6600 • www.elliottbaybook.com

Monday-Thursday: 10am - 10pm • Friday-Saturday: 10am - 11pm • Sunday 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.

ART

Museums

WING LUKE MUSEUM

War Baby/Love Child: Mixed Race Asian American Art is a traveling exhibition of 19 artists across the spans of their careers—some famous, some not—working in traditional media as well as video, installation, and “other approaches,” considering everything from US wars in Asia to transracial adoption and, more generally, the racialization of humans. $12.95. Opening reception Thurs Aug 8, 7-8 pm. Tues-Sun. Through Jan 19. 719 S King St 623-5124.

Gallery

Openings

FORM/SPACE ATELIER

Anticipated : Carol MallettAdelman’s paintings explore art history, gender, and embodiment. Little subjects like that. Free. Reception Fri Aug 9, 6 pm. Wed-Sat. Through Oct 5. 2407 First Ave, 349-2509.

GHOST GALLERY

Jennifer Zwick: Symmetry, An Ongoing Obsession : Images from one woman’s desire to see things line up properly. Free. Reception Thurs Aug 8, 5-9 pm. Mon-Wed-Sun. Through Sept 9. 504 E Denny Way, #1, 832-6063.

LXWXH

Zwischerliecht: Zwischerliecht literally means, “tweenlight,” which sounds more like a Christian boyband than a word for dusk. If there were ever a group that could capture the non-light of Pacific Northwest twilight, this is it. Six artists present work on the witching hour including Whiting Tennis, Shaw Osha, and Susanna Bluhm. Free. Reception Sat Aug 10, 6-9 pm. Aug 10-31. 6007 12th

Ave S

VERA PROJECT

Observation Works | Urban Symmetry : Joya Marie Marsh presents prints, collage, and “raw animation” depicting the elemental qualities of the city. Free. Reception Thurs Aug 8, 6-8 pm Tues-Sat. Through Aug 27. Republican St and Warren Ave N, 956-8372.

Events

ART UP PHINNEYWOOD

This round of the second Friday art walk at the made-up conglomerate neighborhood of PhinneyWood includes a whole Twin Peaks –themed showstravaganza (wear costumes!) at Echo Echo, and a juried fiber show at Phinney Neighborhood Association. Greenwood and Phinney Ridge, various venues. Fri Aug 8, 6-8 pm. Fri Aug 9.

ARTS IN NATURE

FESTIVAL

Arts in Nature Festival is a marvelous thing. Picture two stars rather than one on this listing. It’s performances including dance and fire spectacles, visual and sonic installations (some interactive), and music—Cloud Cult are the headliners, but there’s also bluegrass, jazz, folk, and marching bands—in the forest that’s located, implausibly, right off the main drag in West Seattle called Camp Long. Only in Seattle. It’s put on by the great, low-profile org Nature Consortium, which brings together art, nature, and education for kids year round. (The festival is for all ages, adults very much included.) Camp Long, 5200 35th Ave SW. Free with suggested donation ($10 individuals, $25 families). Sat Aug 10, 11 am-10 pm; Sun Aug 11, 11 am-6 pm.

BLITZ

Blitz: a word referring to how many art walks there are around Seattle this week. Blitz: the name of Capitol Hill’s monthly walk, highlights including the opening of the Tattoo Expo at Super Genius, the new Porter PopUp featuring affordable local art in a gallery that’s an apartment (1630 Boylston Ave, #204), paintings by Baso Fibonacci at Vermillion, the onenight-only showcase of Adam Smith at Vignettes, Sister Signs at Hard L, and Complexion at Cloud. Capitol Hill , Capitol Hill. Free. Thurs Aug 8, 5-9 pm.. Second Thurs.

BUSTER SIMPSON

BICYCLE TOUR

Starting at the Frye Art Museum, which is hosting the survey exhibition Buster Simpson // Surveyor this summer, embark on a guided bicycle tour of the Seattle artist’s public works all across the city. You won’t look at Seattle the same way after this. And it’s FREE, folks. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250. Free. Thurs Aug 8, 6:30-8:30 pm.

GEORGETOWN

ART ATTACK

This month’s second Saturday art walk in the industrial district of the city includes the paintings by Georgetown fixture Mary Tudor at Calamity Jane’s, NW fantasy illustratrations by Emily Fiegenschuh at Krab Jab, and young cartoonists Josh Simmons and Ben Catmull at Fantagraphics. A strong group show including Shaw Osha, Whiting Tennis, and Susanna Bluhm is at LxWxH. Georgetown, various venues. Sat Aug 10, 6-9 pm.

GLASS PYROGRAPH ON THE BEACH

Etsuko Ichikawa makes highstakes drawings using fire on paper. To celebrate her 50th birthday, her 20th year in Seattle since moving from Tokyo, and her 10th year since becoming an independent artist, she’ll do a performance including creating a 33-foot-long pyrograph on the beach, and then she’ll speak and screen her short film Echo at Satsop for the first time. She made the film in a decommissioned nuclear cooling tower in Elma, Washington. This event is free, with cash bar, and on the glorious waterfront. Shilshole Bay Beach Club, 6413 Seaview Ave NW, 728-1980. Free. Thurs Aug 8, 6-8:30 pm.

SEATTLE TATTOO EXPO Skin. For. Days. (Three days.) Northwest Rooms 305 Harrison St, Seattle Center. $20. Fri Aug 9, 2-10 pm; Sat Aug 10, 12-10 pm; Sun Aug 11, 12-8 pm. visualart@thestranger.com

READINGS

Wed 8/7

ALEXANDER MAKSIK

Maksik’s beautifully written debut novel, You Deserve Nothing , was about an affair between a teacher and a student at a Parisian international school. Then Elissa Strauss published a blog post on Jezebel alleging that Maksik himself lost his job at the American School in Paris for having an affair with a 17-year-old student. That was 2011. Now Maksik returns with his first book since Nothing, A Marker to Measure Drift. It’s about a young Liberian woman who washes up on an island in Greece and wrestles with her past. Expect at least one question in the Q&A to not focus on the new book. Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

BROOKS RAGEN

In a remarkable real-life presimulation of the popular video game Oregon Trail, 1,200 men, women, and children got lost in the desert back in 1845. Ragen has retraced their steps in his book The Meek Cutoff: Tracing the Oregon Trail’s Lost Wagon Train of 1845 University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

Thurs 8/8

GEORGE MOTZ

The author of Hamburger America reads from his book, which reviews 150 of the top hamburgers in the country. Uneeda Burger, which is a very good hamburger restaurant nearby, will be serving burgers during this reading. The Book Larder, 4252 Fremont Ave N, 397-4271. Free. 6:30 pm. DOMINGO MARTINEZ

The author, who lives in Queen Anne, will read from his book The Boy Kings of Texas, which is a memoir about growing up on the border in Texas. Queen Anne Book Company 1811 Queen Anne Ave N, 284-2427. Free. 7 pm.

THOMAS KIZZIA Pilgrim’s Wilderness: A True Story of Faith and Madness on the Alaska Frontier begins with children trying to run away from their parents. It’s a true story of religion, family, and insanity. Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

THE UNAUTHORIZED

READINGS

This is an interesting idea for a reading: Local poets James Hoch, Christine Deavel, Janie Miller, and Adam Boehmer will read from Walt Whitman’s “Song of Myself,” followed by a party and music by a band called The Fabulous Party Boys. Fremont Abbey, 4272 Fremont Ave N, 414-8325. $7. 8 pm.

Fri 8/9

ERIC BARNES, SHAWN VESTAL

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. University Book Store 4326 University Way NE, 6343400. Free. 7 pm.

REE SOESBEE Guild Wars: Sea of Sorrows is “set in the high fantasy world created for the video game Guild Wars.” It’s about a dragon with a zombie army, which feels like overkill to me. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

Sat 8/10

KAT RICHARDSON Possession is the newest book in the local author’s series about a paranormal investigator. Washington State history figures into the plot. Seattle Mystery Bookshop, 117 Cherry St, 5875737. Free. noon.

JANET YAGODA SHAGAM An Unintended Journey: A Caregiver’s Guide to Dementia is a book written by a woman who has devoted years to caring for the elderly and infirm. Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 2 pm.

Mon 8/12

ALYSSA HARAD, TARA AUSTIN WEAVER Tara Austin Weaver is the local author of The Butcher and the Vegetarian: One Woman’s Romp Through a World of Men, Meat, and Moral Crisis. Harad is the author of Coming to My Senses: A Story of Perfume, Pleasure, and an Unlikely Bride Third Place Books , 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333. Free. 7 pm.

PAM WITHERS

Jump-Starting Boys is not a dating book. It’s about how to reinspire boys who have lost their enthusiasm for learning and life. University Book Store 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

Tues 8/13

TOBY BARLOW

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm. readings@thestranger.com

Opening and Current Runs

GRUESOME PLAYGROUND INJURIES

“Rajiv Joseph’s small but piercing play chronicles an extended friendship (that occasionally looks like it will tumble into true love) through the lens of physical injuries each character sustains while racking up emotional scars as well. It begins in an elementary-school nurse’s office where eight-year-old Doug (Richard Nguyen Slonkier, boyishly charming at whatever age he’s playing) announces he’s busted his face after riding his bicycle off the school roof. Eight-year-old Kayleen (a darker but intriguing Amanda Zarr) is having anxietyinduced nausea. Each ailment is typical for each character, and those respective traits (excessive fearlessness and excessive fear) will come to dominate their lives. Artfully directed by Desdemona Chiang, Doug and Kayleen are seen in minutes-long slices: After he’s got pinkeye and

she’s just endured a date rape, after he’s in a coma and she’s on the verge of a breakdown, after he’s shot his eye out with a firecracker and she’s preparing to bury her father. The warmth between them, contrasted with the cold indifference of the world around them, makes Gruesome Playground Injuries a surprisingly deft piece of work that plays with your emotions and expectations like an expert fencer.” (Brendan Kiley) Azeotrope at Little Theater, 608 19th Ave E, 6752055. www.brownpapertickets. com. $25. Fri at 7:30 pm, SatSun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Mon at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 11. THE HALF BROTHERS BRAND BAKING PRODUCTS OLD-TIME VARIETY SHOW Described as “ Hee Haw on mushrooms,” the neo-bluegrass trio known as The Half Brothers mixes original music with cooking lessons in this homage to old infomercials, particularly the ones in which the Foggy Mountain Boys sang about Martha White’s self-rising flour. Directed by Scotto Moore ( A Mouse Who Knows Me Duel of the Linguist Mages). Annex Theater 1100 E Pike St, annextheatre.org. $5-$20. Fri-Sat at 11 pm. Through Aug 30. HENRY V “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.” Directed by George Mount. Seattle Shakespeare Company’s Wooden O at Various locations. seattleshakespeare.org. Free. Thurs-Sun at various times, see website for details. Through Aug 11.

INTIMAN SUMMER THEATER FESTIVAL Intiman Theater’s second summer festival. This year’s four plays are: Trouble in Mind by Alice Childress, directed by Valerie Curtis-Newton; Stu for Silverton, a world-premiere musical directed by Andrew Russell; Lysistrata by Aristophanes, directed by Sheila Daniels; and We Won’t Pay! We Won’t Pay! by Dario Fo, directed by Jane Nichols. This summer’s acting company—which will perform in all four plays—includes Charles Leggett, Adam Standley, Tracy Michelle Hughes, Marty Mukhalian, and others. Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St. intiman.org. $20$50 for single tickets, $70-$250 for festival passes. Tues-Sun at various times. See website for details. Through Sept 15.

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FELT Vox Fabuli Puppets revives their puppet satire of the cult favorite “worst movie of all time,” Manos: The Hands of Fate. The film— about a family vacation gone wrong—plays alongside a musical about making the film. Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, brownpapertickets.com. $15-$25. FriSat at 8 pm. Through Aug 17.

PRECIOUS LITTLE A linguistics professor who is studying the last known speaker of a nearly extinct language is burdened with new information about her unborn child. She seeks solace from a gorilla at the zoo, played by a calm woman in a Coco Chanel suit. Annex Theater, 1100 E Pike St, www. annextheatre.org. $5-$20. ThursSat at 8 pm. Through Aug 31. THE RAFT

MUSIC

For the Records What Happened to Manic Pop!?

BY ANDREW HALL

On the night of June 10, Manic Pop! Records—a Rochester, Minnesota–based indie pop label—ceased to exist. In the midst of a busy release schedule, the label’s internet presence

disappeared: Its Facebook page, Twitter account, website, store, and Soundcloud page vanished overnight. To make matters worse, label owner Mike Perry’s personal accounts went dark as well, e-mails bounced and phone lines were suddenly disconnected. It was clear that something was up, and rumors began to ﬂy among the label’s signees.

Within hours, musicians took to Twitter and Facebook to sort through the e-debris; a blog post from Boise, Idaho, band the Very Most yielded some answers. Though Perry was unreachable, his father explained to the band by phone that Manic Pop! had become “extremely overextended financially” and had shut down totally, much to the disappointment of his growing number of fans and his signees—none of whom had any advance notice. As it turns out, many of the bands affected are mainstays in Seattle’s music community, so I got in touch with some of them to talk about their experiences, their forthcoming projects, the strange ways the internet works, and the business of working with a label in 2013. Blooper frontman Adriano Santi, Neighbors singer/guitarist José Diaz, and Mitch Leffler of Zebra Hunt (whose bandmates Erik Bennet and Robert Mercer joined us later) met with me at the Ballard Cupcake Royale, where my interview recording was drowned out by most of Barenaked Ladies’ Stunt Blooper was the first Seattle band to sign with Manic Pop! Santi told me how it happened: “We got an e-mail from this dude. I had no idea who he was, but apparently he was following me on Tumblr. He said, ‘Hey, I’m starting this label, do you want to put out a 7-inch?’ And we’re like, ‘Sure.’ So we recorded it and got the masters, he sent them to the pressing plant, and they e-mailed me back saying: ‘It’ll be ready on this date.’” That record, Blooper’s Go Away EP, looks and sounds great, and it got some nice press for both the band and the label.

Zebra Hunt’s experiences. Santi, who until recently doubled as Neighbors’ second guitarist (and plays on I Love Neighbors), added, “When I was in Neighbors, I remember José asking, ‘How legit is Manic Pop!?’ and I said, ‘Completely.’” And to look at Manic Pop!’s ﬂurry of activity during its brief existence, one sees an ambitious label looking to establish a foothold by putting out an insane quantity of music. In a period of nine months, Manic Pop! put out 16 limited-edition 7-inches, all of which were beautifully packaged, and at the time of its sudden death had promised to release music by at least seven other bands from all over the world.

WHAT'S CRAPPENING?

Next up was Zebra Hunt. Lefﬂer explained that local indie-pop blog the Finest Kiss had written about his band several times, and shortly afterward, Perry contacted him about making a record. “It was the same story. We decided to do a 7-inch, and it was so easy,”

Lefﬂer said. That record, the smoky, jangleheavy Beaches EP, arrived in early June and is now available from the band.

For Neighbors, things began straightforwardly enough, but problems quickly arose. Diaz explained how he ended up in his situation. “I semi-jokingly tweeted, ‘We have ﬁve new songs, who does 10-inch 45s anymore?’ and Mike replied, ‘We will.’” I Love Neighbors was the next record on Manic Pop!’s schedule before the label folded. Diaz said that as the

It was clear that something was up, and rumors began to ﬂy.

release date approached, he “would just check in with [Perry] about stuff, and he’d take longer and longer to get back to me.” Test pressings never showed up; deadlines grew closer. “Eventually, he sent me this really long screed about how he had never promised that it was going to be ready on June 4, which was not the case. He said, ‘I can pull it from the pressing plant if you want.’ He seemed really annoyed and also very swamped. After I got that response from him, I was like, ‘Dude, chill, you said it would come out then, I’m just trying to organize the promotion and ﬁgure out when people who preordered will get copies.’ A week after we had that conversation, I woke up and the label was gone. That was it. We got fucked.” Vancouver-by-way-of-Seattle imprint Lost Sound Tapes will be releasing I Love Neighbors on a split cassette with the band’s second album, John in Babeland, soon. It’s a stark contrast from Blooper and

Perry was building a following and ﬁnding an audience, but there were serious issues with what he was doing. For one, he lacked distribution. Perry had to rely entirely on mail order to get his records to listeners, and though many labels start that way, it’s rare to see any start producing so many expensive records so quickly. California institution/ lifestyle brand Burger Records puts out a new tape practically every 20 minutes, but cassettes are far cheaper than vinyl, and a handful of now-big names on their gigantic roster—like Ty Segall, Nobunny, Black Lips, and local up-and-comers like La Luz—help draw in outsiders and convert the uninitiated. Manic Pop! didn’t have that quite yet. Most small presses exist on the opposite side of the spectrum and take a much more conservative approach to curation—Seattle label Couple Skate, for instance, has existed since early 2012, but has only two LPs (with a third, Vancouver, BC, band Weed’s Deserve LP , to be released this fall) and a cassette to its name. Local label Per Se, which released Pony Time’s Go Find Your Own earlier this year, also only has two prior records in its back catalog and has existed since 2011. With all of this taken into consideration, it’s easy to feel discouraged from pursuing a career in putting out high-quality vinyl records for bands one likes, but that’s not how musicians want it to be. Lefﬂer made it clear: “When these things start, they have good intentions, the masses are cheering them on. I would not want people thinking about starting a label supporting small bands to say, ‘Nope, there’s no way I’ll do it now because of Manic Pop!’” He then added, “I think there’s a glimmer of inspiration in it. I feel like if I could just have all the records he pressed in my house, I could take the baton, and just not put out anything else until I sell all of them.”

The label championed a speciﬁc sound and was cultivating an identity of its own, but it also gave bands support that many hadn’t yet found in their hometowns, making them part of a community both locally and nationally, connecting a lot of like-minded people.

A few weeks ago, the label’s website brieﬂy reactivated to give this story something of an ending—one rooted in unfortunate reality. Perry wrote:

sorry for the closure, and all the brilliant music i failed to release. never cared about the money, or even breaking even. the demand ratio was just too small for vinyl. i was never optimistic or delusional or naive. i was sticking to an obsolete 7” model. release a record, give half to the band, make just enough to do it again. if i had to do it all over, the only thing i would change is to not release anything in a digital format. i simply wanted these records in my collection. (maybe i should have just started a net label. or gave away everything for free. or some(no)thing.)

Soon, that message was also taken down and replaced simply with the word “sad.”

Sort through the e-debris at THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC

• Out in the magical woods of Happy Valley, Oregon, we went to Pickathon last weekend and saw incredible things, like Shabazz Palaces playing an intimate set in a barn, Ty Segall’s semi-acoustic set on a fairy-like stage woven out of branches, and King Tuff playing a sunny set underneath a diamond-shaped fabric ceiling. The festival is highly sustainable and so gorgeous, you might cry. Speaking of crying,

the only drawbacks were the “sanctioned jam areas” within the packed campsites… we ﬁrmly believe that 3 a.m. is never a good banjo time.

• At last week’s Masked Intruder show at El Corazón, the band’s “court-appointed police chaperone” broke protocol and crowd-surfed, stage-dived, handcuffed himself to people in the crowd, and ripped off his uniform while wildly dancing around as the band played just about every song off their self-titled full-length. It was so much fun! Every band should tour with a cop chaperone.

• The great used-vinyl/vintage-clothes shop Beats & Bohos is moving from its Ballard location on 15th Avenue Northwest to 72nd Street and Greenwood Avenue in beautiful Phinney Ridge. It should be up and running in the new spot by the time you read this.

• Buzzfeed has declared the righteous Chastity Belt promo photo—the one with the fabric “steak” chastity belt covering singer Julia Shapiro’s crotch—to be one of “21 Painfully Awkward Band Photos.” In other news, Buzzfeed continues to be a fucking ridiculous click-bait trap that eliminates all context from the world and shoves everything into arbitrarily numbered lists in exchange for Facebook likes.

• Do you like experiencing great music that is also free and all ages? Would you like to experience this music outside, on a lawn, during Seattle’s “Oh, right, this is why we live here” warm times? Assuming you said YES (because you’re not a monster), you must get over to KEXP and Seattle Center’s Concerts at the Mural series, running through the end of August! This Friday, August 9, see Cloud Cult with Deep Sea Diver and Chastity Belt. The following Friday will feature Mudhoney, and the Friday after that will host Vox Mod

• At Saturday night’s Cock & Bull dance night at Re-bar, Madonna’s “Burning Up” packed the dance ﬂoor with people unironically losing their poop.

• At the White Fence show at Neumos on Sunday, a lone guy crowd-surfed That is something rarely done to an arty garage-psych band. So, uh, kudos to the brave crowd-surfer. By the way, White Fence were brilliant; too bad the draw was so paltry that Neumos had to drop the red curtain of sadness

REVIEWS, AND

BY KENDRICK LAMAR DUCKWORTH

Shabazz Palaces

The Shadowed Diamond

Key Nyata Levels Up Instead of Fading Away

BY MIKE RAMOS

Alot has happened in the year or so since Key Nyata released his breakout lo-ﬁ Two Phonkey and wrote and recorded his again-delayed, again-anticipated fourth album, The Shadowed Diamond—his latest collection of almost entirely self-produced space-Cadillac psych-phonk rap, due for release August 10. The local rapper turned 18 and graduated on time from Garﬁeld High School this June—but not before spending his school year rocking venues from the Vera Project to Chop Suey to Neumos opening for some of Seattle’s biggest names, and touring with the internet-based rap collective Raider Klan, making stops at mega-festival Coachella and ultra-hip streaming showcase Boiler Room LA along the way.

Key Nyata half chuckles, half shakes his head at the term “internet famous,” but acknowledges his online origins and fan base—gained after Raider Klan founder Spaceghostpurrp posted a video for Key’s runaway hit (and still fan favorite at his shows) “Get High (I Wanna Smoke)” on his YouTube channel early last year. “It’s pretty cool, but it’s kinda superﬁcial,” Key admits. “I’m not attacking any wave or trying to ride any wave, I’m just trying to be me and do what I do. I wanna have longevity.”

His tour experience and local grind also helped him develop relationships with other artists the traditional way, far from the internet. After Key Nyata performed an opening slot at Neumos last year—on a bill that included Fresh Espresso and Kingdom Crumbs—Fresh Espresso rapper/producer P Smoov invited him to come by his Robot Room studio in Pioneer Square and “vibe out.” Smoov played him the whomping, synth-heavy beat for TSD’s “My Way” (the album version of which features verses from local villain-rap kings Nacho Picasso and Avatar Darko), Key rapped over it, and then he decided he wanted to record the entire album there.

Ethelwulf, who recorded their verses while on tour before starting a Twitter beef that ended with them leaving the group. “Blvck Buddah” is the ﬁrst and likely last track the three rappers will ever be heard on together.

The end result is an album that shows a deeper and darker, yet louder and more polished version of Key Nyata’s signature sound. A couple lo-ﬁ tracks are still sprinkled in, but most are studio-mastered slaps that hit hard when cranked up. His lyrics are deceptively simple—the sneaky triple entendres, wisebeyond-his-years musings, and life lessons can easily go over the heads of casual listen-

“I didn’t have a choice— it wasn’t like, ‘I’m gonna make lo-fi music ’cause it sounds good.’”

It’s the first time Key Nyata has recorded in a studio. Much of his and the Raider Klan’s lo-fi sound and aesthetic was built on echoing a low-quality ’90s tape hiss through laptop production software and built-in computer microphones—a quality that Key says wasn’t avoidable. “It’s how I was forced to make music, I didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t like, ‘I’m gonna make lo-fi music ’cause it sounds good’—fuck that shit, that shit’s corny. Like, you can go to a fucking studio but you choose to be in your room? I didn’t know anybody. I didn’t have connections.” After spending time in a studio and recording more guest verses in person, Key says he’s at the point of not liking internet collaborations anymore. “It takes away from the feeling of the whole shit; it’s just easier to catch a vibe when you’re there with the person.”

There are plenty of guests on The Shadowed Diamond—the aforementioned Nacho Picasso and Avatar Darko on “My Way,” the more positive local Dave B on “Follow Me,” LA’s ice-cold Vince Staples on “Long Way,” P Smoov on their coproduced “We Dwell on Planet Earth.” TSD also features two ex–Raider Klan members, Chris Travis and

ers. The perspective in Key’s lyrics comes from a turbulent couple of years—a bad concussion he got playing football caused him to leave sports, nearly fail out of school, and get caught up in drugs, crime, and “a whole bunch of crazy shit.” Seeing the dead-end path he was on, he decided to formulate a plan to make it as a rapper. “I had to plan it out, otherwise I knew what my fate was gonna be,” he says. “I just didn’t wanna make anything that sounded like anybody else. That was my main goal.” The Shadowed Diamond furthers Key Nyata’s individual style—blending new inﬂuences with his foundational ones into an album that both Key and producer P Smoov compared to “being on drugs” in separate interviews.

“I quit smoking weed going on two years ago, and driving around the city listening to that record just makes me feel like I’m stoned,” says P Smoov. “But it’s still clever if you listen to what he’s saying—it’s like that drug from Limitless where it just increases your brain potential.”

One of the biggest, trippiest highlights of the album, both beat- and lyrics-wise, is the six-minute outro on “This Journey”—a dynamic, shifting, peaking expedition that starts with a faraway piano riff and sends it through a DMT portal. The hook—one of the only consistent parts of the song—ends with an astute summary of everything that led up to and went into The Shadowed Diamond: “On this journey there’s gon’ be a lotta bumps/Now what’s up/But they make me who I am/I’m the motherfuckin’ man.”

“‘This Journey,’” Key Nyata adds, is just “a warning,” a sign of where his sound is heading after this album. “I think that’s gonna be my thing—extraordinary outros.”

KEY NYATA Like being on drugs.

PEREZ

SOUND CHECK

INTERVIEWS BY TRENT MOORMAN

BEST COAST’S CLEANER SURF NERVE

Best Coast’s Bethany Cosentino and Bobb Bruno didn’t want to stray too far from their simplistic, sun-streaked compositional mode for their second album, The Only Place. In the title track, Cosentino sings clearly, “Why would you live anywhere else?/We’ve got the ocean, got the babes/Got the sun, we’ve got the waves.” The album touches a Patsy Cline, garage-surf nerve, an Eagles/Fleetwood Mac spin on country songs recorded in the ’60s. Where the band did change things up is on the production end. By working with biggun producer Jon Brion (Aimee Mann, Kanye West, Beck), and recording at hallowed Capitol Studios (Frank Sinatra, the Beach Boys) in their hometown of Los Angeles, Best Coast made a conscious decision to polish the lo-ﬁ angle of their ﬁrst album, Crazy for You The resultant sonics are bigger and cleaner; without the dirtier elements, Cosentino’s beautifully sheer vocals stand out more. The Only Place isn’t the album to play during your ayahuasca vision quest (that’s for Miles

girl freaked out on her own. There was a glow-in-the-dark mini-golf course in the backyard, and we did a lot of Jäger bombs with the girl’s mom.

Do you and Bobb argue much? All that time in close proximity. We very rarely argue, which is pretty awesome. The only fights we ever get into happen when someone, typically me, is really drunk and being annoying. I talk really loudly when I’m drunk, so I’ve definitely woken Bobb up on the bus before, and he’ll start yelling at me to shut up. The argument always lasts like five minutes, and then the next day we’re over it. I’ve never been in an actual fight with Bobb, or anyone else in my band.

Best Coast w/the Lovely Bad Things, Cumulus Sun Aug 11, Neumos, 8 pm, $20, all ages

Best Coast

Davis’s Live-Evil or Big Fun), but it could be a ﬁt as a highway driving companion. On this current tour, Cosentino and Bruno are joined by Brett Mielke and Brady Miller on bass and drums. Cosentino spoke. Neither of us were on ayahuasca.

You’ve played many college towns. Tell me a flip-cup-playing beer story. We’re not that super-interesting of a band when we tour. Most of the time we end up drinking on the bus watching Martin or a weird music documentary after the show. We did play a show in Iowa City a few months ago and went out to a college party after the show where I did, in fact, play flip cup. I also played something called “slap the bag.” I kept standing at the top of the stairs in their house screaming, “This is the best party ever!” [Laughs] I also did my first keg stand that night. Sometimes we live it up, but nights like that are very rare for us.

Where is the strangest place you’ve ever played a show? I think I heard Oprah hired y’all to play in her shoe closet? Because she likes to have live music while she picks out shoes? We played the Bloomingdale's in the Beverly Center one time, which is a mall in Los Angeles. We played on this tiny stage in the men’s department. I don’t remember why we played there, but I’m a total Valley girl—I grew up hanging out at the mall, so it seemed super-appropriate for us to play there. No Oprah shoe-closet shows. We also played a girl’s sweet 16 birthday in her grandparents’ garage. I don’t think any of the other kids at the party knew who we were, so there were just a bunch of kids standing around watching us while this one

How often do creepy guys at shows do the creepy-guy thing to you? Do you have any special creepyguy-deterring techniques? Creeps are everywhere. Sometimes there are creepy girls, too. Most of the time after we play, I just go directly back to the bus and do my own thing. Every once in a while, there will be a line of kids standing at the bus waiting to meet me. Whenever someone does something creepy, I’m usually like, “Whoa dude, that was creepy,” and just call them out for it. It’s weird because people think they know you because they follow you on Twitter or something, so sometimes fans will say really outrageous things to you because they feel like you’re friends.

You’re a Metallica fan. Metallica is by far my favorite metal band. We’re obsessed with watching Some Kind of Monster when we tour, because it’s just the best movie, and also has some of the weirdest/funniest interactions between humans ever. I love the music they make, and I love them all as people. We had the privilege of playing their festival last summer, and it was one of the coolest things we’ve ever done by far. I also really like Slayer, and the Scorpions.

In your song “Goodbye,” you say you wish your cat could talk. What were you doing when you wrote that song? Having some quality cat time? This guy I was dating at the time had just left my house to go home, and he lived outside of LA. Whenever he would leave, it was like this big dramatic thing. I would get so used to having someone around my house all the time that when he would leave, I would suddenly feel really lonely and bored. I remember writing the lyric “I wish my cat could talk” and I was like, “Whoa, this is so real.” People always think that lyric makes me look like a crazy cat lady, but in reality, it’s just a metaphor for being so alone and so bored that you wish the only living, breathing thing that is around you was able to communicate with you. I recorded the demo of that song on my cell phone, and then I later reworked it on GarageBand and sent it to Bobb. I still feel like it’s one of my favorite songs I’ve written, and it’s a fun one to play because it’s a bit heavier than our other songs.

What’s new in the world of Best Coast? When will you start recording the next album? We have an EP coming out pretty soon that we’re excited about. It’s a big departure from the last record, and it’ll give people a preview of what’s to come. We do have plans to record another record, but they’re just in the early stages. It’ll probably happen later in the year. We’re stoked, we love to record, and we love being in the studio…

DAVID BLACK

GOOD MEN AND THOROUGH (ALBUM RELEASE) Metameric, Honeybear All Ages

SMITH WESTERNS Wampire The Hoot Hoots All Ages SATURDAY

CODY BEEBE & THE CROOKS + THE GOOD HURT (FAREWELL PARTY!) NoRey, Sammy Witness & The Reassignment All Ages THURSDAY 15 AUGUST

The Crocodile & Da808 Music Presents THE ROLL UP: HEMPFEST AFTERPARTY W/ ONE DROP Island Bound, The Hookys All Ages

PIANO PIANO (ALBUM RELEASE SHOW!) Slow Bird, Tokyoidaho, Badwater Fire Company All Ages MONDAY 19

Trouble Season Tour SCARUB OF LIVING LEGENDS @ THE BACK BAR Tope, Turtle T, DJ Andrew Savoie All Ages

MOTHER FALCON 1939 Ensemble All Ages

STONES THROW SOUL TOUR W/ DAM-FUNK, THE STEPKIDS, MYRON & E 8/25 ALYSE BLACK 8/28 GREGORY ALAN ISAKOV, SERA CAHOONE 8/29 GREGORY ALAN ISAKOV 9/3

BY ANNA MINARD

COMING UP THURSDAY AUGUST 8TH MY DAD BRUCE + IRUKANDJI PHYSICS OF FUSION THE BAD TENANTS

FRIDAY AUGUST 9TH JAMIE N COMMONS BAKELITE78

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 14TH GRUM JAMESON JUST + BLACKLIST

FRIDAY AUGUST 16TH

CLOUD CONTROL TOMTEN + MAL DE MAR

SATURDAY AUGUST

COMING SOON

8/7 Ken Stringfellow • 8/18 Filligar 8/20 Majical Cloudz • 8/21 Luck One 8/22 Scout Niblett • 8/23 Eef Barzelay 8/28 Sudden Vacation ft. D33J • 9/6 Bleeding Rainbow • 9/7 Ewert and The Two Dragons • 9/11 Cosmic Psychos 9/12 NO • 9/13 Gibraltar • 9/14 Diarrhea Planet + The So So Glos 9/15 Julia Holter • 9/17 Woods + The Fresh and Onlys • 9/19 Porcelain Raft 9/20 Kate Boy • 9/21 Hanni El Khatib 9/22 Youryoungbody • 9/23 Jackson Scott 9/25 Dirty Beaches • 9/27 Chelsea Wolfe • 9/28 Joan of Arc • 10/4 No Joy 10/5 Not Made In The USA Tour ft. Exile Parade • 10/6 Houses • 10/8 Okta Logue • 10/9 Jacco Gardner • 10/12 Tim Kasher • 10/15 Crystal Stilts • 10/16 Tony Lucca • 10/19 San Fermin 10/23 Keep Shelly In Athens + Chad Valley • 11/15 Those Darlins • 12/6 Basia Bulat • 12/8 Lee Ranaldo and The Dust

JUST GOT PAID FRIDAYS INFERNO SATURDAYS

Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

THE MODERN LOVERS

The Modern Lovers (Beserkley)

Ohhhhh shit, you guys, I think I’m in love! But wait—it’s not gonna be one of those columns. It’s more complicated than that. First, the Modern Lovers are adorable they were fronted by Jonathan Richman, a talk-sing crooner of the ﬁrst order. And a lot of it is about love—mopey, moony love. He’s a moony crooner.

And a kidder! Who can seriously call out, early in a song, “I’m in love with Massachusetts”? Only Jonathan Richman. He still gets jealous of your old boyfriends in the suburbs, sometimes. He can’t stand what you do, but he’s in love with your eyes. He loves his parents. He’s obsessed with the 1950s. He’s going “faster miles an hour” down the highway at night, with the radio on so he doesn’t feel alone.

Richman’s good-naturedly off-key voice sounds quite a bit like Lou Reed’s. (Tangent: If you, like me, are a music idiot who has tried in the past to educate yourself without the music staff of an alt-weekly giving you direction, maybe you’ve discovered Lou Reed already? I bought that one banana album by the Velvet Underground, and I just couldn’t love it. But I knew that was me failing, so I kept trying, and then I found Transformer It’s really good! If you are a neophyte trying to ﬁnd an album to love, try Transformer, really. Listen to it in the car at night.)

But Richman’s fumbling sweetness is also dark. He comes across all helpless and so aching, full of need. “When you get out of the hospital/Let me back into your life.” The kind of guy with a hole in his heart; he just wants you to put your hand over it for a while. Then: He never ever lets go of your wrist, and that shit is awful. (God damn, is it hard to break that grip.) So after a couple listens to this, I got off-kilter. The heartsickness was grating. I had to take a break.

Luckily, The Modern Lovers is mostly such a fun goof-wagon that you don’t need to analyze every grain for layered meaning. C’mon! “Well, some people try to pick up girls and get called asshole/ This never happened to Pablo Picasso.” And let’s be honest: Yeah, that one song is called “Astral Plane,” but pretend you don’t know the song name and listen carefully. You know what you (well, I) hear? “Ice-cream plane.” (At least for the ﬁrst verse.) Yeeeah. That is the best plane! Let’s go! Jonathan Richman is your secret night boyfriend climbing fences to get to you and keeping a journal. He’ll totally take you out for ice cream in a diner. I give this an “I wanna go to the icecream plane” out of 10.

Comment on Never Heard of ’Em at THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC

MY PHILOSOPHY

RICK ROSS, AVATAR DARKO, KNOWMADS

The other day, I was at a friend’s house, and we somehow started listening to the new Rick Ross song “I Wonder Why”—I wonder why? It wasn’t nothing but his usual fire-and-brimstone money-church service, but dead in the middle of that: “Now I’m being followed by some creepy-ass cracker/Stand your ground, stand your ground/Stand your ground, you gotta stand your ground.” I guess I was supposed to say, Yeah, Rick Ross, you speak that motherfuckin’ truth to power. But truth be told, it left me cold. It felt more like the latest exploitation of Trayvon Martin, capped off with an explicit endorsement of the law that let his shooter off, not to mention an audio clip of Rachel Jeantel repeating the “cracker” line for Zimmerman’s defense. Hey Officer Ricky, you crazy for this one—or at least an oblivious tool, hardly new. Some people would say I’m overthinking it—I love that one—or that I’m Hating™. Some of you would say that’s probably because I’m not getting money (sad emoji); some of you can go to hell. Just a spare thought I thought I’d spare. Anyway, what the impending hell, people? It’s August already, in this year of our Lord Are We Ever Fucked. It’s like literally next week already. It’s literally fall. It’s literally next year, and I’m literally, actually dead. It feels like by the time you read this, Bradley Manning will be just 1/136th of the way through his life sentence, and Edward Snowden’s hood pass to Russia will have expired, and he’ll already be busy getting not-tortured back in the Land of the Free. Speaking of Russia, did you see Avatar Darko’s video for “Kalashnikov Pt. 2,” filmed entirely out there? It’s pretty sweet—but I think the only Russian I know, I got from reading Colossus in ’80s Uncanny X-Men comics. Bozshe moi! I actually learned all my life lessons from Marvel comics back then, which is why I know well that with great power comes great responsibility (and shitty reboots).

KnowMads Raz Simone Sam Lachow, and La (with hosts Spaceman and DJ Beeba) all play Neumos on Thursday, August 8, so you can see what’s buzzing over there if you want. This will hopefully be a successful venture, with tank-topped “Young Seattle” turning up and rapping along. KnowMads—the only NW rap crew distinguished by an owl logo (that aren’t named “Oldominion”)—are people’s champions, professional purveyors of posiperseverance rap. Their trademarks are warm production and introspective lyrics that would resonate with any twentysomething in the Northwest, that is to say, any generally kicked-back weed smoker. KnowMads’ Tom Pepe and producer Jesse Judd (you might know him as Jester already) dropped their own album LiveGood recently, honing well enough their crew’s reflective backpack style. Check Tom and Jesse’s “Kings Change” for a glimpse of La, an MC who habitually stands out the way you’re supposed to, with flow and voice hitting on all cylinders. If you missed it, find his awesome one-take video for “Frank Hirata” off of his underappreciated Ocean Howell tape. Kick your feet ’til then, good luck out there.

HIPHOP YA DON'T STOP

BY LARRY MIZELL JR.

UP&COMING

Lose your Nordic, Nordic universe every night this week!

For the full music calendar, see page 39 or visit thestranger.com/music

For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows

Wednesday 8/7

The Hussy, Fuzzy Cloaks, So Pitted, Ubu Roi (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 45.

The Sword, Castle, American Sharks (Neumos) I keep thinking I’m going to like Austin quartet the Sword more than I actually do, due to their striking album covers. But when I ﬁnally hear the music, it underwhelms me with its meatloafand-mashed-potato’d conventionality. Granted, I’m a dabbler with regard to modern metal, so I may be missing some nuances that more obsessive followers are discerning. What I’m mostly hearing in the Sword’s recordings is medium-heavy guitar/bass crunching and squealing in easily digestible patterns, with Ozzy-dazzled vocals projecting over the top of it all. I mean, it’s good and all, but it just doesn’t seem all that super-special on a technical/ sonic level. Maybe I—or the band members—need to be higher… DAVE SEGAL

The Ring: Siegfried (McCaw Hall) For beginners, the simplest way to put it is that The Ring is four operas that tell one epic story: Das Rheingold (the gold of the Rhine), Die Walküre (the Valkyries), Siegfried (a hero born of incest who goes on to slay a dragon), and Götterdämmerung (the twilight of the gods, when Valhalla burns down, the gold of the ring is puriﬁed, and order is restored to the Nordic, Nordic universe). The operas are hours and hours long: To experience the whole outsize thing is an achievement and an experiment, and by the end of it, you have a memory bank that’s wild and woolly, and then your life starts over again, and sometimes little parts of The Ring show up in your dreams. Seattle

Opera is known for its Ring; this was one of the earliest American companies to start doing full cycles, and they’ve become fetish events. This particular production—created more than a decade ago, all woodsy and “naturalistic” and PNW-y—is probably about to be retired after this summer for a new concept. You can trust Seattle Opera, and with The Ring, you always know what you’re getting: high S/M with a side of gods. Tonight is Siegfried, the third opera of the cycle. JEN GRAVES

Thursday 8/8

KnowMads, Raz Simone, Sam Lachow, La (Neumos) See My Philosophy, page 33.

Gogol Bordello

(Neptune) To record their latest album, Gypsy-punk heroes Gogol Bordello got themelves to El Paso, Texas, aka the closest you can get to the deadliest place in the Western world without actually being in the deadliest place in the Western world. Does the proximity of Ciudad Juárez make itself heard on Pura Vida Conspiracy? Not so you’d know—it’s just another rich, raucous collection from the bigbrained, huge-hearted Eugene Hütz and his inexhaustible band. Expect friendly mayhem. Second show Friday! DAVID SCHMADER

The Exquisites, Wild Moth, Health Problems

(Heartland) The ﬁrst reason I love the Exquisites’ selftitled debut is because there is a big, stern-looking, and aqua-eyed kitty face on the cover. I will listen to anything with a cat on the cover. The second reason, and, I suppose, the most important reason I love the Exquisites’ debut is because it’s so great! It’s hard not

to recall Built to Spill’s feedback-ﬁlled jam sessions in the swirling guitar of “Dead End Streets,” and in “Embrace Moments of Pain,” singer Jason Clackley’s vocals are delivered with cathartic urgency while also carrying a catchy melody. Throughout the album, the Exquisites are both abrasive and graceful. Wild Moth and Health Problems open. Maybe the cat will be there, too.

MEGAN SELING

Gladys Knight & the O’Jays

(Chateau Ste. Michelle) Gladys Knight overcame her unbeautiful ﬁrst name and became one of the boldest glossy soul belters ever to grip a mic. She and the Pips have the distinction of doing one of the most thrilling versions of one of the greatest songs, “I Heard It Through the Grapevine.” Philadelphia soul troupe the O’Jays had a phenomenal run in the ’70s, buttering the airwaves with inspirational soul and funk jams like “Love Train,” “Back Stabbers,” “For the Love of Money” (best phased/wah-wah’d bass line ever?), “I Love Music,” and “Give the People What They Want.” Both artists ﬂourished in a time when radio hits were damn near high art, not crass

Friday 8/9

The Ring: Götterdämmerung (McCaw Hall) See Wednesday.

Useless Children, Dreamdecay, Stickers, Naomi Punk (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 45.

Zomboy, Eptic (Showbox at the Market) See Data Breaker, page 41.

Gogol Bordello (Neptune) See Thursday.

Balmorhea, Benoît Pioulard (Columbia City Theater) Led

founders Rob Lowe

COFFEE, SPIRITS, AND MUSIC

8.8 Thursday (Afrobeat / World) M.A.K.U. Soundsystem

Paa Kow’s By All Means Band DJ

Jasper T & Homies

$7 adv / $10dos, 7pm

8.13

and friends... NO

hackwork. Go and hear some all-time classics—and,

(aka Lichens) and Michael Muller, Austin sextet Balmorhea make instrumental rock for patient, long-attention-spanned people. In 2013, that instantly limits their audience, but one senses that Balmorhea don’t care that much about market share. Nevertheless, for those so equipped, Balmorhea’s contemplative, gently meandering compositions yield reﬁned pleasures. Spangly and incisive guitars intermingle with astringent strings (from violin, cello, and double bass) and ambling rhythms to form sophisticated soundtracks for reading 19th-century literature or gazing stoically at the countryside. Balmorhea is where beautiful chamber rock clinks champagne glasses with cerebral post-rock. DAVE SEGAL

Atomic Bride, Spiderheart, Blue Skies For Black Hearts

(Lo-Fi) Unless you plain ole hate music, you probably know Stranger receptionist/Emerald City Soul Club DJ extraordinaire Mike “Calf Show!” Nipper. He owns about 4,578,234 vinyl records and has impeccable taste in music. He doesn’t like much of new cookie-cutter garage-rock (see his daily column “GFY—You’re in a Rad Garage Band” on Line Out—The Stranger’s music blog). In fact, if you make a garage-rock album in 2013, and you get an ofﬁcial Nipper nod, you should consider casting your entire band in 14-carat gold. Atomic Bride are a Nipper-approved garage band. He says they “know their shit!” He says singer Astra Elaine’s vocals “have the sass of Cherie Currie” and the band channels a bit “of the Rezillos.” This equals news I can use! KELLY O

Hell’s Belles

(Neumos) Hell’s Belles is a sweet, ﬁst-pumping concept: an all-female AC/DC tribute band. American women playing raunchy, female-objectifying songs by Australian louts while rocking the fuck out is a righteous kind of retribution, if you want to think about it that way. Or you can simply revel in Hell’s Belles’ ripping interpretations of the AC/DC songbook, which is chockablock with some of the most basic and libido-stoking hard rock ever laid down. Without a doubt, Hell’s Belles will—drumroll, please—shake you all night long. DAVE SEGAL

Saturday 8/10

Panabrite, Guenter Schlienz, Celestino (Cairo) See Stranger Suggests, page 21, and Data Breaker, page 41.

The Ghost Ease, the Echo Echo Echoes, the Webs, Mary Pauline Diaz (Heartland) See Underage, page 45.

Noisegasm + Distorrent (Chapel Performance Space) See Data Breaker, page 41.

Khia

(Chop Suey) “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)” is the song for which rapper Khia Chambers will forever be remembered; if she could be considered the 2000s-era Adina Howard, then this song is her “Freak Like Me.” Its demands are simple: Come with some reciprocity (and thoroughness) on the oral—a sex act that male rappers typically demand three times before they even say their own name on a song. The best sentence I read on Wikipedia today: “The main poetry of the song is an encouragement of both cunnilingus and anilingus ” Yes, the stakes were raised on “Lick It,” and we should rightfully consider Khia a warrior for women’s proper due between the sheets and between the cheeks—the fact that she couldn’t seem to spell the word “respect” during her brief tenure on VH1’s Miss Rap Supreme (possibly her only other claim to fame) notwithstanding. LARRY MIZELL JR. See also Homosexual Agenda, page 43.

The Spits

(Neumos) Are your live punk-rocks show missing something lately? Too serious? Not enough costumes? Zero smoke-machine action? Listen, you, it’s the last good month of summer, and you’ve only got so many warm-ish days to get your freak out, so you might as well do it with the Spits—a band known for their onstage theatrics, catchy mushmouthed snot punk, and bruisey-fun shows. Like if the Ramones really did sniff glue and Devo actually were Mongoloids. After 12 or 16 albums (who can tell, most of them are self-titled), the Spits are still

your best bet for a sweaty, beer-soaked good time.

EMILY NOKES

Nude Pop, the West, Yevtushenko (Columbia City Theater) Few things make me happier than watching young Sound Off! bands deservedly continue to do great things–seeing 2012’s winners, Nude Pop (formerly just Nude), continue to get recognition has been no exception. As masters of ﬂuid and technical indie rock, Spokane’s Nude Pop have toured, released a great EP (Splintered Selves—have a listen at nudepop.bandcamp.com), gotten an in-studio performance on KEXP, and worked on a farm. Wait, what? Yeah, they made the most of a two-week break during a two-month tour by responding to a Craigslist ad to work on a farm in Vermont. They fed goats! And speaking of Sound Off!, the EMP started taking applications for the underage battle of the bands early this year, so if you’re under, 21 and a Northwest-based maker of music, what are you waiting for? Get your poop in a group and turn that application in. Details are at empmuseum.org. MEGAN SELING

Davey Suicide, the Bunny the Bear, the Deﬁled (Studio Seven) I was ready to come at this with my wit blazing, hoping to take down Davey Suicide in a storm of snide remarks about how ridiculous he is. I mean, it’s the sonic equivalent of dangling car keys in front of a baby—shiny, noisy, and enticing, but totally worthless. But, sigh… I’m exhausted. Complaining about the worst there is in music— Falling in Reverse, Brokencyde, and anything on the Mars Hill record label—just isn’t fun anymore. And really, of all of them, this dude who wants to pretend he’s Marilyn Manson isn’t so bad. I mean, he is, I ﬁnd his music unlistenable, but at least, unlike former tourmates Blood on the Dance Floor, he has songs about questioning authority and mainstream media as opposed to seeing how many girls he can fuck. Yay? I guess? MEGAN SELING

Sunday 8/11

Best Coast, Cumulus

(Neumos) See Stranger Suggests, page 21, and Sound Check, page 30.

The Blind Photographers, Bandolier, the Webs

(Sunset) The fun, dark, synth-based group Blind Photographers recently rounded out their Smithsesque pop duo with the addition of a few new members, which means more hands on deck to help steer their chillwave cruise ship toward the destination of Annie Lennox Island. The return of the Webs brings back Seattle’s Cub-worthy surf trio, as they sweep us up in their sweet wave of mischievous twee witchery—think K Records’ Heavenly by way of the Cranberries. Cory Budden’s drumming pops up as naturally as the bubbles in a bottle of Cook’s, while their lyrics navigate the spaces between dreams and cranial caves. Finally, Bandolier will be ﬂooding the Sunset Tavern with

their

Monday 8/12

Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Har Mar Superstar

(Marymoor Park) Though it came a solid 10 years after their debut, Fever to Tell, and ﬁve since their last album, It’s Blitz!, this year’s Mosquito was a welcome return for pioneering New York indierock trio Yeah Yeah Yeahs. (Its cover, however, is a different story.) Though not much has changed over the years in their up-tempo dance-punk sound—other than adding more electronic elements to “keep up with the times” and pushing their experimentalism to the point of a Dr. Octagon collaboration—Karen O and co. have outlasted most other bands from this genre/time period with the quality of their records alone. Their live shows, which have always been somewhere between a prop-adorned arena-rock performance and rowdy basement punk-club show, likely haven’t faltered a bit, either. MIKE RAMOS

Tuesday 8/13

Daryl Hall & John Oates

(Marymoor Park) Putting the blue-eyed soul crooners and architects of some of the most ubiquitous, recognizable pop hits of the ’80s, Hall & Oates, on this stage in the middle of a giant park in Redmond will likely draw two main types of crowds: younger, somewhat-ironic appreciators (so-called “hipsters,” if you will) that missed or just didn’t get enough of them two years ago at Bumbershoot, and East Side–dwelling parents and adults who actually listened to this stuff when it was tearing up the charts. But regardless of age, where one’s appreciation comes from, or how much better of a song Stevie Wonder’s “Part-Time Lover” is than “Maneater,” the duo’s deep catalog of smash hits will ensure that the slightly offbeat dance moves keep coming and the white wine keeps ﬂowing all night. MIKE RAMOS

Graves at Sea, Atriarch, Same-Sex Dictator

(Highline) Anyone who can appreciate the connection between Dystopia’s sludgy crust and Asunder’s sprawling metal dirge (i.e., just about every single Highline regular) should be ﬁrst in line for the Graves at Sea show. Even though this isn’t Graves at Sea’s ﬁrst Seattle date since last year’s resurrection after a four-year hiatus, tonight’s lineup is still pretty much mandatory for fans of the grim and grimy. Atriarch garnered a decent amount of attention in the underground-metal world with last years’ Ritual of Passing album, which blended the somber death rock of Rozz Williams–era Christian Death with payloads of cataclysmic blackened doom. Local duo Same-Sex Dictator round out the bill with their combination of Man Is the Bastard–style bass-driven violence with ethereal passages of synth and Fender Rhodes. BRIAN COOK

artfully executed ’60s vibes that pay homage to early Motown records by way of DIY basementrock shredding. BREE MCKENNA

Guenter Schlienz

Saturday 8/10 at Cairo

Moby DJ US

Flosstradamus US

Neon Indian DJ US

Green Velvet US

Wax Tailor FR

Cajmere US

Derrick Carter US

Shabazz Palaces US

KiNK BG

Ben UFO UK

PillowTalk US

Little People CH/UK

Nils Frahm DE

Ikonika UK

Tiger & Woods IT

John Tejada US

ADULT. US

Giraffage US

Teen Daze CA

DJ Rashad US

Pezzner US

Timeboy US

Light Year AU

Nicolas Jaar feat.

Tarik Barri US/CL /NL

Art Department //

Kenny Glasgow CA

Gold Panda UK

Machinedrum

Vapor City Live US/DE

Zola Jesus feat.

JG Thirlwell US/AU

Mount Kimbie UK

Nosaj Thing UK

Blockhead US

Kode9 UK

ZEDD DE

Lorde NZ

Ben Klock DE

Speedy J feat.

Scott Pagano NL /US

Henrik Schwarz DE

Aeroplane BE

JETS US/DE

Hauschka DE

Alex Metric UK

Dusky UK

Henry Krinkle CN/US

Big Black Delta US

Kid Smpl US

Pearson Sound UK

Matias Aguayo CL /DE

Cyril Hahn CH/CA

Maxxi Soundsystem UK

Natural Magic US

DJ Dials vs. DJ Bogl US

Nightmare Fortress US

Jimi Jaxon US

Ghost Feet US

Zachariah Walker UK

Domokos US

Baryonyx US

CELEBRATING

The Helio Sequence US

Max Cooper UK

Mano Le Tough IE /DE

Slow Magic US

THEESatisfaction US

Lorn US

Lusine US

The Orb UK /DE

Midland UK

Loops of Fury US

Pangaea UK

Oliveray DE /US

Dauwd UK

Raime UK

Archie Pelago US

J. Alvarez US

MORRI$ US

DJAO US

Brandy Gray US

Joel Pryde US

Riff-Raff US

Peter Hook &

The Light performing

Power, Corruption & Lies and Movement UK

Diamond Version DE

Little Boots UK

XXYYXX US

Olafur Arnalds IS

The Martinez Brothers US

Ame DE

Actress UK

Jimmy Edgar US/DE

Juan Atkins US

Ryan Hemsworth CA

Oren Ambarchi AU

Thomas Fehlmann DE

Kyle Hall US

Lapalux UK

Dirty Beaches CA

Waifs & Strays UK

Evian Christ UK

Axel Boman SE

Light Asylum US

Vessel UK

Haxan Cloak US

Tomas Barfod DK

Luke Abbott UK

Nick Monaco US

Natasha Kmeto US

Kingdom Crumbs US

Avneesh SG

Tracer US

Phaeleh UK

Tim Green UK

Teebs US

Shigeto US

OLIVER US

Ejeca IE

MNDR US

Young Galaxy CA

Gent & Jawns US

Beacon US

ODESZA US

Blondes US

Peter Broderick US/DE

Astronomar US

The Sight Below US

Pharmakon US

D Tiberio US

Vox Mod US

ARTFUL RAGE AND SWAMP SHOCK

WED 8/7

LIVE BARBOZA Ken Stringfellow with the Maldives, Sons of Warren Oates, 8 pm, $15

a BLACK LODGE The Hussy, Fuzzy Cloaks, So Pitted, Ubu Roi COMET Eagles and Aliens, Butler, Highlight Bomb, Swingset Showdown , $6

CONOR BYRNE Broomdust Blues Jam, free CROCODILE Death By Stars , Yonder, Power Cassette, $5

a EL CORAZON Stone Iris, Georgetown Allstars, 8 pm, $8/$10; Awfully Sudden Death of Martha G, Dogstrum, Verdant Mile, Marshland, 8:30 pm, $6/$8 HIGHLINE Machineage, American Wrecking Company, I Defy, $8 JAZZ ALLEY Nicholas Payton, $24.50 NEUMOS The Sword,

Castle, American Sharks, 8 pm, $18

NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox

OHANA Live Island Music

PINK DOOR Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm

Q NIGHTCLUB All Bands on Decks: Tine E. Dancer, free SEAMONSTER The Unsinkable Heavies

TRACTOR TAVERN Turnpike Troubadours, the Rachel Mae Band, $10

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE The Michael Owcharuk Trio, free

a WOODLAND PARK

ZOO NORTH MEADOW Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, 6 pm, $26

BALTIC ROOM Crunk: DJ Henski, Marty Mar, Blue Eyed Soul, Bgeezy, guests

CONTOUR Rotation: Guests, 10 pm, $5

THE EAGLE VJDJ Andy J ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests

HAVANA SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1 LAST SUPPER CLUB Vibe Wednesday: Jame$Ervin, DT, Contagious

LAVA LOUNGE Mod Fuck Explosion: DJ Deutscher Meister

MOE BAR The Hump: DJ Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Undergrad: Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade: DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm

THURS 8/8

LIVE 2 BIT SALOON Statue of Liberty, guests

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA My Dad Bruce, Irukandji Physics of Fusion, 8 pm, $8 a THE BARREL THIEF Carrie Wicks & Nick Allison, 8 pm, $5

BIG SVEN THE REDHEADED SWEDE

Even though smarty-pants Swedish inventors have already modernized the world by giving us electric refrigerators, the pacemaker, Celsius thermometers, dynamite, and even the zipper (invented in 1913 by Gideon Sundbäck)—I would still like to present Big Sven’s Vibrating Jockstrap Beer Cooler. I mean, it takes a lot of balls to keep your beer in one of these—but then again, “Blott Sverige svenska krusbär har!” KELLY O

BLUE MOON TAVERN

Direct Divide, Nathan Leigh, Safeword Sasquatch, $5

CAN CAN Vince Mira

CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Gladys Knight & the O’Jays, 7 pm, $49.50/$79.50

CHOP SUEY The Purrs, Black Nite Crash , the Soft Bombs , the Spinning Whips , 8 pm, $6/$8

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Cave Clove, the Thoughts , Hanna Benn, 8 pm, $7/$10

COMET Snowdrift, Golden Gardens, Jupe Jupe , Blue Light Curtain , $7

CROCODILE Korby Lenker, 8 pm, $5

DISTRICT LOUNGE Cassia

DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free

a EL CORAZON Yellow Red Sparks, guests, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

a GUAYMAS CANTINA

Oleaje Flamenco, 8 pm, free

a HARD ROCK CAFE Keith Scott, 5 pm, free

a HEARTLAND The Exquisites, Wild Moth, Health Problems, 8 pm

HIGH DIVE Hidden Lake, Run From Cover, the Heyfields, 8 pm, $6

HIGHWAY 99 Darrius Willrich , Fysah, 8 pm, $7

JAZZ ALLEY Monty Alexander Trio, 7:30 pm, $28.50

LITTLE RED HEN Horse Opera, $3/$5

LUCID The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free

NECTAR M.A.K.U.

Soundsystem, Paa Kow’s By All Means Band, guests, 8 pm, $6

NEPTUNE THEATER Gogol Bordello, $28.50

a NEUMOS Knowmads, Raz, Sam Lachow, LA, 8 pm, $10

PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac, 8 pm

SCARLET TREE How Now Brown Cow , 9:30 pm, free

SHIP CANAL GRILL Sheila K & Butch Harrison, 7:30 pm

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Shawn Waters, Paper Nova, 8 pm, $6

SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Franki Valli, 7 pm

a STUDIO SEVEN Texas

Hippie Coalition, guests, 7 pm, $10/$12

SUNSET TAVERN The Chasers, Vibe Warrior, Evening Bell, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN Cabana, Lures, Peeping Tomboys, $6

TRIPLE DOOR Cahalen & Eli, 7:30 pm, $13

VITO’S RESTAURANT &

LOUNGE Brazil Novo, free

THE WHITE RABBIT Marmalade, $6

BALLROOM DJ Rob, free

BALTIC ROOM Revolution: DonnaTella Howe, Olivia LaGarce, guests

CAPITOL CLUB Citrus: DJ Skiddle

THE EAGLE Nasty: DJ King of Pants, Nark

HAVANA Sophisticated

Mama: DJ Sad Bastard, DJ Nitty Gritty

LAST SUPPER CLUB Open House: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE Rock DJs: Guests

MOE BAR Saucy: DJ

Rad’em, DJ 100 Proof, free

NEIGHBOURS Jet Set Thursdays: Guest DJs

NEIGHBOURS

UNDERGROUND The Lowdown: DJ Lightray, $3

OHANA Chill: DJ MS

SEE SOUND LOUNGE

Damn Son: DJ Flave, Sativa

Sound System, Jameson Just, Tony Goods, $5 after 10:30 pm

THERAPY LOUNGE

DUH.: DJ Omar, guests

TRINITY Space Thursdays: Rise Over Run, DJ Christyle, Johnny Fever, DJ Nicon, Sean Majors, B Geezy, guests, free

WEDNESDAY 8/7

$6 • 9PM

THURSDAY 8/8

THE CHASERS

VIBE WARRIOR • EVENING BELL

$8 • 9PM

FRIDAY 8/9

$8 • 10PM

SATURDAY 8/10

L’ORCHESTRE D’INCROYABLE LA PETITE MORT, MAGI & CHRISTINE ANNE

$13 • 10PM

SUNDAY 8/11

THE BLIND PHOTOGRAPHERS

BANDOLIER • THE WEBS

$6 • 8PM

MONDAY 8/12

STERADIAN

SWORDS

$6 • 8PM

KELLY O

Moby DJ US

Flosstradamus US

Neon Indian DJ US

Green Velvet US

Wax Tailor FR

Cajmere US

Derrick Carter US

Shabazz Palaces US

KiNK BG

Ben UFO UK

PillowTalk US

Little People CH/UK

Nils Frahm DE

Ikonika UK

Tiger & Woods IT

John Tejada US

ADULT. US

Giraffage US

Teen Daze CA

DJ Rashad US

Pezzner US

Timeboy US

Light Year AU

Nicolas Jaar feat.

Tarik Barri US/CL /NL

Art Department //

Kenny Glasgow CA

Gold Panda UK

Machinedrum

Vapor City Live US/DE

Zola Jesus feat.

JG Thirlwell US/AU

Mount Kimbie UK

Nosaj Thing UK

Blockhead US

Kode9 UK

ZEDD DE

Lorde NZ

Ben Klock DE

Speedy J feat.

Scott Pagano NL /US

Henrik Schwarz DE

Aeroplane BE

JETS US/DE

Hauschka DE

Alex Metric UK

Dusky UK

Henry Krinkle CN/US

Big Black Delta US

Kid Smpl US

Natural Magic US

DJ Dials vs. DJ Bogl US

Nightmare Fortress US

Jimi Jaxon US

Ghost Feet US

Zachariah Walker UK

Cyril Hahn CH/CA

Pearson Sound UK

Matias Aguayo CL /DE

Maxxi Soundsystem UK

Max Cooper UK

Mano Le Tough IE /DE

Slow Magic US

THEESatisfaction US

Lorn US

Lusine US

The Helio

Midland UK

Loops of Fury US

Pangaea UK

Domokos US

Baryonyx US

Oliveray DE /US

Dauwd UK

Raime UK

Archie Pelago US

CELEBRATING

MORRI$ US

DJAO US

Sequence US

Ryan Hemsworth CA

Oren Ambarchi AU

Thomas Fehlmann DE

Kyle Hall US

Lapalux UK

Dirty Beaches CA

J. Alvarez US

Brandy Gray US

Joel Pryde US

Riff-Raff US

Waifs & Strays UK

Evian Christ UK

Axel Boman SE

Light Asylum US

Vessel UK

Haxan Cloak US

Tomas Barfod DK

Luke Abbott UK

The Orb UK /DE

Peter Hook &

The Light performing

Power, Corruption &

Lies and Movement UK

Diamond Version DE

Little Boots UK

XXYYXX US

Olafur Arnalds IS

The Martinez Brothers US

Ame DE

Actress UK

Vox Mod US SEPTEMBER 25 - 29, 2013

Jimmy Edgar US/DE

Juan Atkins US

Phaeleh UK

Tim Green UK

Teebs US

Shigeto US

OLIVER US

Ejeca IE

MNDR US

Young Galaxy CA

Gent & Jawns US

Beacon US

ODESZA US

Blondes US

Peter Broderick US/DE

Astronomar US

Nick Monaco US

Natasha Kmeto US

Kingdom Crumbs US

Avneesh SG

Tracer US

The Sight Below US

Pharmakon US

D Tiberio US

FRI 8/9

LIVE

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO

Ben

Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Jamie N Commons, Bakelite 78, 7 pm, $12

a BLACK LODGE

Useless Children, Dreamdecay, Stickers, Naomi

Punk

BLUE MOON TAVERN

Wah Wah Exit Wound, Panther Attack , Trimtab, 9:30 pm, $6

CAFE RACER The Coyote Bandits

CENTRAL SALOON Thrust

Fund

a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Beth Fleenor

CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Harry Connick, Jr., 7:30 pm, $57.50/$99.50

CHOP SUEY Electric Falcons, Perfect Bombs, Ghost Pains , Taxidermy Western, $8

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER Balmorhea, Benoit Pioulard, 8 pm, $10/$12

COMET Countdown to Armageddon , Wounded Giant, the Pilgrim, Wilt, $7

CONOR BYRNE Ganges River Band, Miss Lonely Hearts, Mike Giocolino, $8

a CROCODILE Cody Beebe & the Crooks, the Good Hurt, 8 pm, $10; In the Back Bar: Sam Russell & the Harborrats, Proud Wonderful Me, 8 pm, free

DARRELL’S TAVERN The Last Internationale, the Slimpoles, the Gold Records, $7

a EL CORAZON Carson Allen, Ashtree, Martyr Reef, guests, 7:30 pm, $8/$10; Children 18:3, guests, 8 pm, $10/$12

a GROUND ZERO

(BELLEVUE) Little Gerbils 123 Block Party: Dreamdecay, Useless Children, Thee Samedi , guests, noon, $5

HIGH DIVE Radio Telescope , Otis Heat, Mile 9, 9:30 pm, $8

HIGHLINE Bottom Feeder,

Ladybird, Bell Witch, $7

HIGHWAY 99 Lloyd Jones & the Struggle, 8 pm, $15

JAZZ ALLEY Monty Alexander Trio, 9:30 pm, $28.50

THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Burn Burn Burn, Fools Rush, Caparza, Ol’ Doris, $5

LITTLE RED HEN Horse Opera, $3/$5 LO-FI Atomic Bride , Spiderheart, Blue Skies for Black Hearts

THE MIX Gayle Chapman, Clayton Ballard, Old Blue, $8 a MURAL

AMPHITHEATRE Cloud Cult, Deep Sea Diver, Chastity Belt, 5:30 pm, free NECTAR Longstride, Inhale, Puget Soundsystem, Positive Rising, 8 pm, $6

NEPTUNE THEATER Gogol Bordello, $28.50

NEUMOS Hell’s Belles, 8 pm, $13

a OLYMPIC SCULPTURE PARK SAM Remix: Don’t Talk to the Cops, J-Justice, JKPOP!, guests, 8 pm, $12-$25

PARAGON Levi Said, free RAVIOLI STATION

TRAINWRECK Dizzy, guests a RENDEZVOUS Out Like Pluto, 10 pm, free a THE ROYAL ROOM Piano Royale, 5:30 pm; Station to Station, Purr Gato, Dion Vox, 10 pm, free

SEAMONSTER Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free

SHIP CANAL GRILL Hopscotch, 8 pm

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Zomboy, Eptic, $18.50$28.50

a SHOWBOX SODO Fitz & the Tantrums, 9:30 pm, $26.50

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Chad Cook, Malcolm Holcombe, guests, 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE

DT’s, Jack Endino’s Earthworm, Tom Price Desert Classic

STUDIO SEVEN White Wizard, Lotus Room, guests, 7 pm, $10/$12

SUNSET TAVERN Ghost Town Riot, Dead Ship Sailing, Viva Diva, 10 pm, $8

FRIDAY 8/9

When was the last time you saw a poster by the great Jim Blanchard? His style pretty much deﬁned the look of Seattle rock posters in the late ’80s and early ’90s, but he’s primarily known for his fantastic illustration work. Check out more at jimblanchard.com. AARON HUFFMAN

The DT’s w/Endino’s Earthworm, the Tom Price Desert Classic Fri Aug 9, Slim’s Last Chance

TRACTOR TAVERN The Nick Foster Band, guests, 9:30 pm, $10 VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Casey MacGill, 8 pm, free THE WHITE RABBIT Hamburger Pimp, $5

95 SLIDE DJ Fever One BALLROOM DJ Tamm of KISS fm

BY DAVE SEGAL

ZOMBOY AND EPTIC PLAY THAT YOUTHQUAKING DUBSTEP DUBSTEP, motherfuckers! Zomboy (British producer Joshua Mellody) brings that hyperkinetic, wacky-textured brand of it in the Skrillexicon of the day. When old electronic-music heads grumble about the music kids today listen to, Zomboy is the sort of thing they’re referring to. I don’t like his ham-ﬁsted take on dubstep but at least it’s not dull. There is a helluva lot going on dynamically and tonally. Same deal with Belgium’s Eptic (Michaël Bella), except he’s 19. The sheer obnoxiousness of both artists’ music is a selling point for many and shows the eternal need of youth to treasure something their elders just can’t understand. With Just One, McFunk Brothers, and Innit Showbox at the Market, 8 pm, $23.50 adv/$29 DOS, 18+.

SATURDAY

8/10

SAGANTIC SYNTHS: PANABRITE, GUENTER SCHLIENZ, AND CELESTINO Regular Data Breaker readers know by now that Panabrite (Seattle musician Norm Chambers) is one of the country’s most acute mesmerizers on the synthesizers. Any time he plays out, you’re guaranteed high-flying, fathoms-deep ambient exploration. Joining him on the bill is German composer/modular-synth master Guenter Schlienz, an obscure figure whom it is our pleasure to finally have in

Kiley, The Stranger

BALMAR Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free BALTIC ROOM Dirty Work: Rotating DJs including Sean Majors, BGeezy, Mikey Mars, Sir Kuts, guests BARBOZA Just Got Paid: 100proof, $5 after 11:30

CAPITOL CLUB Neoplastic: Marcus G, Jay Battle, DJ Shorthand, free CENTURY BALLROOM

our midst. A prolific producer since 2010, Schlienz comes strong with the cosmic, healing tones of the omniverse. Fans of early Tangerine Dream, JD Emmanuel, and Iasos will shudder with unbearable tenderness to Schlienz’s astral/ beatific keyboard emissions. Missouri’s Celestino traffics in more dystopian atmospheres, evoking pitiless vistas of unsettling desolation—right in my goddamn wheelhouse. If Carl Sagan were alive, lived in Seattle, and didn’t have any pressing commitments, he’d surely go to this show. Cairo, 8 pm, $5, all ages.

NOISEGASM + DISTORRENT ARE DOING THEIR OWN VERY DISTINCTIVE THINGS

Well, it took long enough, but I’ve finally heard the music of local Noisegasm and Distorrent. Electronic duo Noisegasm (Brad Anderson and Greg Weber) create subtly ominous scores for imaginary art-house films saddled with convoluted plots. Let it be known that Noisegasm are not all that noisy; however, they’re doing something quite distinctive, and that may trigger orgasm in some listeners. Distorrent (Anderson and Clonal Machina) combine morose, post-punk guitar riffing that sounds like it could’ve come off a Factory or 4AD release circa 1981 with widescreen synth washes and microcosmic tactile granularity. This night promises to be intriguing. Chapel Performance Space, 8 pm, $5–$15 sliding scale, all ages.

Century Tango: DJ Anton, 9 pm, $10

CONTOUR Afterhours, 2 am

CUFF C&W Dancing: DJ

Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm;

TGIF: Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Digging Deep: Ramiro, Jeromy Nail, Derrick

Deepvibez

FUEL DJ Headache, guests

HAVANA Rotating DJs:

DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

LAST SUPPER CLUB

Madness: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE DJ David

James

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Caliente

Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren

OHANA Back to the Day: DJ Estylz

Q NIGHTCLUB Jochen Miller, Phorbes, Alchemist, Omar B, Ser3ne, $10/$15

SCARLET TREE Oh So Fresh Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ

Buttnaked, guests

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Crush: Guest DJs, free

THERAPY LOUNGE Rapture: Guests, $3 after 11 pm

TRINITY Tyler, DJ Phase, DJ Nug, guests, $10

WILDROSE Lezbro:

L.A. Kendall, Tony Burns, 9 pm, $3

THE WOODS Deep/Funky/ Disco/House: Guest DJs

SAT

8/10

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Devilwood, Jojo Jupiter, guests

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BLUE MOON TAVERN The Western Redpenguins, Dillon Warnek & the Dismal Tide, Basement Baby, 9:30 pm, $6

CAFE RACER Gus Clark, Shawn Waters, the New Dark Ages a CAIRO Panabrite,

Guenter Schlienz, Celestino

CENTRAL SALOON Sevens Revenge a CHAPEL

PERFORMANCE SPACE

Noisegasm

CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Harry Connick, Jr., 7:30 pm, $57.50/$99.50

CHOP SUEY Khia, Mathematix, Dewey Decimal, Bomb Ass Pussy, $15/$20

COLUMBIA CITY

THEATER Nude Pop, the West , Yevtushenko , 8 pm, $8/$10

COMET Caustic Casanova, Kozo, Pouch, $6 a EL CORAZON My Ticket Home, guests, 8 pm, $10/$12

a HEARTLAND The Ghost Ease, the Webs, Mary Pauline Diaz , the Echo Echo Echoes , 8 pm

HIGH DIVE Black Snake, the Wayne Gretzky’s, Eroder, Merciful Zeus, 8 pm, $8

HIGHLINE Toxic Holocaust, the Godbeast, Vile Display Of Humanity , Death in the Family, 8 pm, $10

JAZZ ALLEY Monty Alexander Trio, 9:30 pm, $28.50

LITTLE RED HEN Knut Bell & the Blue Collars, $5

LUCID Sidewinder

NECTAR Trolls Cottage , guests, 8 pm, $7

NEUMOS The Spits, Useless Eaters, Trash Fire, 8 pm, $15

PARAGON Solbird, free QUEEN CITY GRILL Faith Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free

RENDEZVOUS Clutch Douglass, Fox Hunt, Evan Rodd, 10 pm, free a THE ROYAL ROOM Piano Royale, 6 pm

SEAMONSTER LOUNGE Emily Clark’s Makeshift Band, Shady Bottom, 7 pm, free SHIP CANAL GRILL Kelley Johnson , 8 pm

a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Five Iron Frenzy, 8 pm, $20/$25

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Advent Horizon, Key Of Solomon Jaded Vinyl, 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Annie Ford, Kristen Ward, Kathy Moore

a STUDIO SEVEN Davey

Suicide, the Bunny The Bear, guests, 7 pm, $10/$12

a SUMMIT AVE AT E OLIVE Summit Avenue Block Party: Airport, Lisa Dank, Specs One, MTNS, Health Problems, Weed, So Pitted, and many more, 11 am, free SUNSET TAVERN L’Orchestre D’Incroyable, La Petite Mort, guests, 10 pm, $13/$15

TIM’S TAVERN Miss Lonely Hearts Band, guests, free TRIPLE DOOR Jr Cadillac, 8 pm, $20

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; Johnny Astro, 9:30 pm, free THE WHITE RABBIT Lavoy, 6 Demon Bag , Plastic Saints, $6

BALLROOM DJ Warren BALTIC ROOM Good Saturdays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Inferno: Guests, 10:30 pm, free before 11:30 pm/$5 after

CAPITOL CLUB Get Physical: DJ Edis, DJ Paycheck, 10 pm, free CONTOUR Europa Night: Misha Grin, Gil

CUFF Sensorium: DJ Almond Brown

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Drop: Phil Western, Manos, Kadeejah Streets, Rhines, Night Train, $10 after 10:30 pm

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

HEARTLAND CAFE & BENBOW ROOM

Candylandia: DJ Cotton Candy, DJ Christophett, DJ Deep Parris, free LAVA LOUNGE DJ Matt LO-FI Emerald City Soul

BY ADRIAN RYAN

FRIDAY 8/9

BATMAN: CAMPY AND GAY

Before we wee ’mos toddle along onto this week’s featured Big Geigh Events, let me just drop this little bug in your rear: OMGz!!! DETOX! VICKY VOX! And (most glorious of all, in my book), WILLEM! They’re coming, you know. Could. You. Just. DIE??! That’s all. Last week, we had so very much gaydamn fun watching Collide-O-Scope, raw and bare in the great outside. So much so, in fact, that we’re doing it all again this week, damn it, but with a lot less CollideO-Scope/Seattle Center and a lot more Three Dollar Bill Cinema/Cal Anderson Park. (Less traveling, a lot more Capitol Hill. Praise Sheezus.) It’s a lower-tech affair (no waterfalls), but Three Dollar Bill Cinema’s movies out-in-the-gay-outdoors movie nights are a wonder tonic for the aching soul. Another picnic basket is necessary, of course (FULL OF FRESH GREEN WASHINGTON STATE FREEDOM,

Club: Kenny Mac, Gene Balk, Marc Muller, Alvin Mangosing, Mike Chrietzberg, Brian Everett, George Gell, Mike

“MP3s Forever” Nipper, 9 pm, $10

MOE BAR Panther Down: DJ

N8, Anthony Diamond, free

NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ Randy Schlager

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Club

Vogue: DJ Chance, DJ Eternal Darkness

OHANA Funk House: DJ Bean One

PONY Glitoris: Queen Mookie, Devil Eyes: SEE SOUND LOUNGE Guest DJs

TRINITY ((SUB)): Guy, VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm

VERMILLION Flux: Dj Res guests, free THE WOODS Hiphop/R&B/ Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs

SUN

8/11

LIVE

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

CAFE RACER The Racer

Sessions

CHOP SUEY Jetman Jet Team , Softshadows, the Blinding Light, 8 pm, $8

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Columbia City Art Walk: Kore Ionz, 5 pm, free COMET The Billy Cook Band, the Western Shore, John Atkins, $6

CROCODILE In the Back

Bar: Jon Bryant, Colin Bradford, 8 pm, $5 a EL CORAZON

Douglas and the Furs, the Accountants, guests, 8 pm, $8/$10

HIGH DIVE Chapel Blues, Half Japanese Girls, Sit Ubu Sit, 8 pm, $6

HIGHLINE Christdriver, Lungs, Ubik, 8:30 pm

MAYHAP? Please, no, the event is “smoke free.” Pffft), and a blanket upon which to repose, and brace your sweet self, for this time they are showing Batman: The Movie. But wait! Not that overblown deco ’80s Michael Keaton version—the original and absurd and delightful (and absurdly delightful) ’60s version based on the psychedelic TV show, complete with the Joker, Catwoman (Lee Meriwether, not Eartha Kitt OR Julie Newmar, tragically), Penguin (my fave—I just love me a villain in a bow tie), and Burt Ward’s INHUMANLY GIGANTIC DONG. (It was legendary. Google that shit.) IN THE DARK IN A PARK! Just like the very best things. (Sex, mostly.) Cal Anderson Park, sunset, free, all ages.

SATURDAY 8/10

KHIA LICKS MY CRACK

My neck! My back! My pussy! And my crack! Oh yeah, baby. You know you love it. Everyone does. Khia even made that famous song—“My Neck, My Back (Lick It)”—about it (forget anything else you’ve heard, that song is all about me), and our good friends at LICK! are bringing her to sing to you about it in person. Lucky, lucky you. Resident Licksters, the DJs Mathematix and Dewey Decimal, presiding. Chop Suey, 9 pm, $15 adv/$20 DOS, 21+.

EAGLES AND ALIENS BUTLER, HIGHLIGHT BOMB, AND SWINGSET SHOWDOWN $6

SNOWDRIFT GOLDEN GARDENS, JUPE JUPE, BLUE LIGHT CURTAIN, $7

COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON WOUNDED GIANT, THE PILGRIM(MD), WILT $7 CAUSTIC CASANOVA TKOZO, POUCH, GUEST $6

HANGOVER FLEA MARKET FREE -2-6PM THE BILLY COOK BAND, THE WESTERN SHORE, JOHN ATKINS $6 NO SLEEP PRESENTS: STALEBIRTH LAZY, PENTAGLAM, 27 DOORS $6 SWAMP MEAT CRAZY EYES, THE CIGARETTE BUMS, LINDSEYS $6

BENEATH OBLIVION

CRAWLIN, WITCHRIPPER, PORTENTS $6 HAPPY HOUR: 6-7:30 ANDO EHLERS BAD HABIT AND JIPSEA PARTY $5 USF (SEA) HIBOU (SEA), CASHPONY (OAK), FROZEN FOLK (OAK), BONE CAVE BALLET (SEA) $7

e-mail cometbooking @gmail.com

NICHOLAS PAYTON XXX

TUE, AUG 6 - WED, AUG 7

Payton’s clarion trumpet, as well as his genredefying solos, stood at the center of the music making... No descriptive label or category could be afﬁxed to Payton’s solos, which were as brashly original as they were technically imposing. –Howard Reich, Chicago Tribune

MONTY ALEXANDER, JOHN CLAYTON & JEFF HAMILTON

THU, AUG 8 - SUN, AUG 11 Jazz trio extraordinaire – Reunion in Seattle!

THE COOKERS

TUE, AUG 13 - WED, AUG 14

91.3 KBCS welcomes - Heavy hitting, pyrotechnic, post-bop jazz super group with a mid-60’s spirit

STANLEY CLARKE BAND

THU, AUG 15-SUN, AUG 18

Grammy-Winning double bass and electric bass virtuoso

LEE RITENOUR, LARRY GOLDINGS and PETER ERSKINE

TUE, AUG 20-SUN, AUG 25

Distinguished crossover music masters

JAZZ ALLEY Monty Alexander Trio, 7:30 pm, $28.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Witchaven, Grave Desecration, Skelator, $5 LITTLE RED HEN Jukehouse Hounds, $3

NECTAR McDougall, guests, 8 pm, $7

a NEPTUNE THEATER The Heavy, the Silent Comedy, 8 pm, $18/$20

NEUMOS Best Coast, Cumulus, 8 pm, $20

a NORTHWEST FILM

FORUM Gustafer Yellowgold, 5 pm, $12

PIES & PINTS Sunday Night Folk Review: Guests, free THE ROYAL ROOM

ChoroLoco, Adriana Giordano Quartet, 6:30 pm, free

SEAMONSTER LOUNGE Ask the Ages, 10 pm, free SHIP CANAL GRILL Jay Thomas, Sun, noon

a SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

The New Cardinals, 7 pm, $5

SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Dwight Yoakam, 7 pm

a STUDIO SEVEN Chimaira, Threat Signal, guests, 6 pm, $13/$15

SUNSET TAVERN The Blind Photographers, Bandolier the Webs, 8 pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN

The Deadly Gentlemen, the Blackberry Bushes Stringband, $12

TULA’S Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $8

VICTORY LOUNGE Midnight Ghost Train, 9:30 pm, $6

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm, the Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm

a WOODLAND PARK ZOO

NORTH MEADOW Todd Snider, guests, 6 pm, $24

DJ BALTIC ROOM Mass: Guest DJs CAPITOL CLUB Island Style:

DJ Bookem, DJ Fentar

CONTOUR Broken Grooves:

DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free

THE EAGLE T-Bar/T-Dance: Up Above, Fistfight, free a FULL TILT ICE CREAM Vinyl Appreciation Night:

Guest DJs, 7 pm

LAVA LOUNGE No Come Down: Jimi Crash

MOE BAR Chocolate

Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE, Phosho, free

NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina: Guest DJs PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro, Freddy King of Pants, 4 pm Q NIGHTCLUB Revival: Riz Rollins, Chris Tower, 3 pm, free

RE-BAR Flammable: DJ

Wesley Holmes, 9 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Salsa: DJ Nick

MON 8/12

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Metal

Monday: Sumo, guests, $5 AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Jerry Frank

CHOP SUEY Deaed Language, Xero Ours, Crazy Monk, Shark Dentures, 8 pm, free

COASTAL KITCHEN Pork Chop Trio, 9:30 pm, free COMET A Tom Collins, the Aimlows, $6

KELL’S Liam Gallagher a MARYMOOR PARK Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Har Mar Superstar, 7 pm, $39.50

NEUMOS Reckless Kelly, Micky and the Motorcars, Wade Bowen, 6:30 pm, $20

NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm THE ROYAL ROOM The Noah Halpern Quintet, the Westerlies, 8 pm, free SNOQUALMIE CASINO Roger Hodgson, 7 pm, $35-$80 a STUDIO SEVEN Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, the Material, guests, 7 pm, $13/$15

SUNSET TAVERN Jesca Hoop, $15

TRACTOR TAVERN the Tallboys , Every other 7:30 pm, $5

THE WHITE RABBIT

Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, $6 DJ

BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate Sound, $5

WEDNESDAY 8/7

THE HUSSY, SO PITTED, UBU ROI, FUZZY CLOAKS

A garage-psych-trash band in 2013 might preemptively annoy music grouches who think it’s time to maybe revive something else (wassup?). Even with a charming album title like Pagan Hiss! But Madison, Wisconsin, two-piece the Hussy offer enough twists on often excruciatingly dull garage formulas to lift the cynicism right off that furrowed brow. Do you like fun? Pogo forward with conﬁdence. Black Lodge, 9 pm.

FRIDAY 8/9

USELESS CHILDREN’S UNROMANTIC SWAMP SHOCK

Indulge in an evening of sincere misanthropy with Seattle noise rockers Dreamdecay, who are quickly becoming one of the city’s most dynamic live acts. On their most cohesive release yet, N V N V N V, wall-of-noise blasts slyly insinuate distorted melodies, spasmodically converging from moments of bleak spaciness to penultimate bloodthirst. Tonight is their West Coast tour kickoff with Melbourne’s frantically unromantic Useless Children, who follow in the grave-robbing footsteps of Aussie post-punks Birthday Party and the Scientists. On last year’s Post Ending // Pre Completion, Useless

BARBOZA Minted: Icon Mondays: Sean Majors, guests, free, DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free CAPITOL CLUB The Jet Set: DJ Swervewon, 100 Proof

COMPANY BAR Rock and Roll Chess Night: DJ Plantkiller, 8 pm, free

CONOR BYRNE Get the Spins: Guest DJs, free HAVANA Manic Mondays: DJ Jay Battle, free THE HIDEOUT Introcut, guests, free LAVA LOUNGE Psych/Blues: Bobby Malvestuto LO-FI Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate, Sound Selecta, Element, Mista Chatman $5 THE MIX Bring Your Own Vinyl Night: Guests, 6 pm MOE BAR Minted Mondays: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND SIN: DJ Keanu, 18+, free OHANA DJ Hideki PONY Dirty Deeds: Guest

DJs

Q NIGHTCLUB Reflect, 8 pm, free

TUES 8/13

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON The Mentors, Pottymouth, PukeSnake

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

CAFE RACER Jacobs Posse

CHOP SUEY Bobby Bare Jr., Quinn DeVeaux & the Blue Beat Review, Lonesome Shack , 8 pm, $10

COMET Stalebirth, Lazy, Pentaglam, 27 doors, $6, Stalebirth, Lazy, Pentaglam, 27doors, $6

CONOR BYRNE Ol’ Time

Social: The Tallboys , 9 pm a EASY STREET

RECORDS (WEST SEATTLE) The Moondoggies , 7 pm, free a EL CORAZON Mario Brown’s Touch, guests, 8 pm, $8/$10

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN Monktail Creative Music Concern, DJ Shonuph, free a FREMONT ABBEY Round 99: Karl Blau, Julia Massey, Vikesh Kapoor,

guests, 8 pm

HIGH DIVE The Boy & Sister Alma, Fruit Juice, 8 pm, $6

HIGHLINE Graves at Sea, Atriarch, Same Sex Dictator, 8 pm, $10

JAZZ ALLEY The Cookers, 7:30 pm, $24.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

LITTLE RED HEN Tequila

Rose a MARYMOOR PARK

Daryl Hall & John Oates, 5 pm, $45-$65

THE MIX Jazz Night: Don Mock, Steve Kim, Jacques Willis, 8 pm

OUTWEST Wine and Jazz Night: Tutu Jazz Quartet, free

OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz Improv Night: Guests

THE ROYAL ROOM Jessica Lurie’s Megaphone Heart Band, Slingshot Songs, 8 pm, free

SEAMONSTER McTuff Trio, 10 pm, free

SUNSET TAVERN Steradian , Swords for Arrows, Case + Ctrl, 8 pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN

Whitney Lyman, Armed with Legs, Wishbeard , $6

TRIPLE DOOR David Ryan Harris, 7:30 pm, $15/$18

DJ 95 SLIDE Chicken & Waffles: Supreme La Rock, DJ Rev, free

BALTIC ROOM Drum & Bass Tuesdays: Guests

BLUE MOON TAVERN Blue

Moon Vinyl Revival Tuesdays: DJ Country Mike, A.D.M., guests, 8 pm, free

CONTOUR Ladies Night: Colette, Eva, DJ Hyasynth

THE EAGLE Pitstop: DJ Nark

HAVANA Word Is Bond: Hoot and Howl, $3 after 11 pm

LAVA LOUNGE Metal: Doctor Jonze

MERCURY Die: Black Maru, Major Tom, $5

MOE BAR Cool.: DJ Cory Alfano, DJ Cody Votolato, free

NECTAR Top Rankin’ Reggae: DJ Element, Chukki, free

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Vicious Dolls: DJ Rachael, 9 pm, $5

OHANA DJ Marc Sense

WILDROSE Taco Tuesday: Guest DJs

Children unfurl a furious miasma of cannibalistic riffs and hell-bellows. Prepare for a densely layered, searing assault of artful rage and swamp shock to induce an aural-ocalypse. The bill also boasts slow-melting garage grunge from Naomi Punk and no-wavers Stickers Black Lodge, 9 pm.

SATURDAY 8/10

THE GHOST EASE REINVENT “SOFT GRUNGE’

If “soft grunge” were a musical genre and not a Tumblr-based fashion trend observed by assorted poseurs of the internet, suburbs, and beyond, it might sound something like Portland trio the Ghost Ease: powerful and delicate, with a raw sludginess born out of murky forests and permanently overcast skies. We’re talking Is This Desire?–era PJ Harvey, Hole getting “Softer, Softest,” a ﬂannelwearing Frankenstein’s monster made of early-’90s Liz Phair and Mirah. That sort of thing. In the Ghost Ease, songwriter Jem Marie is inspired by “all things clairvoyant, oneiric and emotional,” leading the trio through lush dynamics featuring swirlingly aslant guitars and cartwheeling rhythms. The night also sees Seattle garage rock spell-weavers the Webs poetry from Mary Pauline Diaz, and brazenly reverb-drenched Tacoma band the Echo Echo Echoes Heartland, 8 pm.

BY BRITTNIE FULLER

FILM

Film Review Revue

Lovelace

dirs. Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman

Juicy, horrifying, and controversial, Linda Lovelace’s life—throughout which she went from prude teen, to famous (and famously abused) Deep Throat porn actress, to feminist spokesperson—is rich material for a ﬁlm. The political nuances of Lovelace’s experiences—to say nothing of the glamour, drugs, and terror—are worthy of an epic on par with The People vs. Larry Flint or Boogie Nights But in directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s hands, Lovelace is disappointingly simpliﬁed.

In brief: Lovelace (Amanda Seyfried) was raised in a religious home, developing a reputation in her early years for keeping suitors at a cautious distance. Only a few years into adulthood, she met and married Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard), who she alleged beat, coerced, and pimped her, forcing her to appear in several pornographic ﬁlms, including a bestiality short she claimed to have participated in at gunpoint. She was also said to have fallen into drug use, and eventually she escaped life with Traynor, wrote several autobiographies (including the tell-all Ordeal), and became an activist against domestic violence and the porn industry.

Lovelace deals primarily with the nightmarish Lovelace-Traynor relationship and Deep Throat, completely ignoring her other ﬁlm appearances (including the one with the dog) and drug abuse. Lovelace is portrayed as an incredibly naive, anxious-to-please victim, ignoring the fact that a number of people she worked with questioned many of her

South African racial politics, too, and it was still one of the best original science-ﬁction ﬁlm concepts of the last decade. And Elysium is a worthy successor to District 9. Max (Matt Damon, solid as always) is a typical Earthling: Screwed from before birth by the system, he’s scraped by as a career criminal and is now trying to go legit with a shitty unregulated factory job. But playing fair just doesn’t pay, and soon he’s trying to get to Elysium to cure a fatal dose of radiation poisoning.

Elysium’s strong cast makes some interesting choices (as the wealthy bad guys, William Fichtner and Jodie Foster both speak English cautiously, as though it’s their third language), and the special effects are breathtaking. The amount of detail in each scene is never anything less than immersive, and Blomkamp finds new ways to present classic science-fiction concepts. It’s too bad, though, that the second half of Elysium doesn’t even try to match the intelligent world-building of the first half. The social problems that the film allegorizes so eloquently at the beginning can’t be resolved by a fistfight on a catwalk with a sociopathic mercenary (Sharlto Copley, menacing at first, cartoonish by the end), but Blomkamp is so confident in his filmmaking powers that you want to forgive him for going Full Hollywood. PAUL CONSTANT

Blue Jasmine dir. Woody Allen

indictments. This is Lovelace according to Lovelace, full of childlike innocence and heroism, and it’s a missed opportunity to explore the fascinating, still-controversial mysteries that surround her.

Certain aspects are in place: Seyfried and Sarsgaard give strong performances, as does a nearly unrecognizable Sharon Stone as Lovelace’s mother. The set design and fashion are on-mark, and James Franco is almost credible as a young Hugh Hefner. And considering the subject matter, it’s quite tastefully ﬁlmed, although pairing further restraint with an already amputated script drains even more blood from a story that deserves a more complete—and more thought-provoking—telling.

MARJORIE SKINNER

Elysium

dir. Neill Blomkamp

You need to go into Elysium with the understanding that it’s got a heavy-handed premise. In the 22nd century, the poorest 99 percent of the population lives on a polluted, overcrowded Earth. On a space station called Elysium (which conceptually owes quite a bit to Larry Niven’s novel Ringworld), the 1 percent—actually, it’s probably more like the .00001 percent—lives in a sprawling green paradise of mansions and swimming pools. They never get sick. Mostly, they lounge around in swimwear looking down on Earth, not thinking about poor people. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE METAPHOR YET?

But writer/director Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 was a heavy-handed representation of

All throughout Blue Jasmine, the latest of Woody Allen’s annual ﬁlms, people say, “I’m a different person” or “I’ve changed.” Usually they haven’t, though, and it’s almost always a roundabout apology for some past awful behavior. The title character, played by Cate Blanchett, is (or was) a wealthy Manhattanite. When her ex-husband Hal (Alec Baldwin) turns out to be a Madoff-like crook, she loses everything, so she temporarily relocates to San Francisco to stay with her working-class sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins). This being a Woody Allen movie, of course both struggle with money and love, but there’s a clarity here, a cutting focus Allen hasn’t displayed possibly since Crimes and Misdemeanors, a whopping 24 years (and 24 ﬁlms) ago.

This is a somewhat darker but still lively combination of Woody’s class-conscious comedies, like Manhattan or Hannah and Her Sisters, blended with the melancholy of some of his more Bergman-esque enterprises, like September or Another Woman. Here, everyone is lying to themselves—lying about who they are, what they want, and what they feel they deserve, without falling back on lazy class designations. The rich people aren’t uniformly greedy and oblivious, and the “poor” folks aren’t stupid but saintly.

Blanchett is amazing as this supremely deluded neurotic, perhaps a pathological liar, beset by panic attacks. Afraid to move forward because she has no idea where to go, she takes halfhearted stabs at computer classes and takes a job as a dental receptionist that only reinforces both her low self-esteem and her entitlement complex. It’s a somewhat showy performance, but then Allen has never directed his actors toward subtlety, and it’s refreshing to see his jangly, sometimes unpleasant protagonists channel that energy toward masking something potentially more sinister: a measure of complicity in their personal disasters.

LYNCH

LOVELACE An abusive man, a naive woman, a famous throat.

Alec Baldwin

Cate Blanchett

Louis C.K.

Bobby Cannavale

Andrew Dice Clay

Sally Hawkins

Peter Sarsgaard

Michael Stuhlbarg

FILM SHORTS

More reviews and movie times: thestranger.com/ﬁlm

LIMITED RUN

THE ACT OF KILLING

The Act of Killing is a shape-shifting documentary exploring the horrifying history of Indonesia, where governmentapproved paramilitary organizations exterminated between 500,000 and a million “Communist dissidents” over a single year. The year was 1965, and when director Joshua Oppenheimer took his camera to Indonesia, he found a good number of former executioners alive and well and happy to talk about their role. How you feel about watching unrepentant killers boast about their bloodletting will determine how you feel about most of this film. A tiny moment of justice comes when, after reenacting his victim’s role in one of his “greatest hits,” one man is left literally gagging and deeply shaken. But then he goes home to his loving family. (DAVID SCHMADER) Varsity, Fri-Sun 1:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:35 pm, Mon-Tues 4:15, 7:05, 9:35 pm.

ANDRÉ GREGORY: BEFORE AND AFTER DINNER

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. Northwest Film Forum, Fri 7 pm, Sat-Tues 7, 9 pm.

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT TRIVIA NIGHT

Fifty trivia questions followed by two AD episodes, hosted by MAP Theatre. (Hint: Nine times out of ten, the answer’s “incest”!) Central Cinema, Tues Aug 13 at 7 pm.

THE AVENGERS

This is Hollywood gigantism at its finest. The shiniest team of celebrities since Ocean’s Eleven tackles some of the best superheroes ever (hooray for the Hulk!) to make a stuffed-full-of-fun blockbuster. It’s got a wicked sense of humor, too. Go on, get it out of your system. (PAUL CONSTANT) [And yes, this movie is playing on two different outdoor screens on the exact same night at the exact same time. —Ed.] Fremont Outdoor Cinema, Seattle Center Mural Amphitheater, Sat Aug 10 at dusk.

BALL OF FIRE

In this Howard Hawks screwball from 1941, Gary Cooper is an absent-minded professor of etymology, indexing the saucy diction of a runaway nightclub dancer named “Sugarpuss” O’Shea, played by Barbara Stanwyck. Presented on 35 mm. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs Aug 8 at 7:30 pm.

NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY

Indulge your masochism. Central Cinema, Fri-Mon 9:30 pm.

THE SANDLOT

“For-eh-ver.” Magnuson Park, Thurs Aug 8 at dusk. SOME LIKE IT HOT

This is one of the greatest comedies in human history. Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon play two Chicago jazz musicians who witness a gang shooting and end up on the run from the mob. Disguised as women, they join an all-girl band and head down to sunny Florida to perform at a seaside resort. A very voluptuous Marilyn Monroe, who plays a shy and alcoholic singer, manages to do what she has always done best: look highly attractive without being unapproachable. I have watched this movie a million times and still can’t help but split into laughter when Tony Curtis pretends to be a playboy millionaire with a broken heart. Pure genius. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Central Cinema, Fri-Mon 7 pm.

SPRING BREAKERS

Former Disney princesses Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens (with Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine) are bored students trapped by their surroundings and future— so of course they’re going to rob a chicken restaurant to fund their spring-break trip to Florida. Upon arrival at their destination, they happily succumb to the riptide of unbridled bacchanalia. So is it a surprise when things go wrong? Harmony Korine is well-known for pushing viewers’ buttons, and as someone who’s sick of stale, predictable Hollywood product, I loved Spring Breakers. I loved the constant twists, turns, and dead ends. And I loved the dearth of easy answers. (WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY) Harvard Exit, Sat Aug 10 at midnight.

TRIBUTE TO RAY HARRYHAUSEN

BATMAN (1966)

“Devilish clown prince of crime! If I only had a nickel for every time he’s baffled us!” Cal Anderson Park, Fri Aug 9 at dusk.

DRUG WAR

This movie opens with a big bang and closes with lots of big bangs. And between these spectacular extremes (the big bang, the many big bangs), you will not find one minute or scene that’s wasted on a digression, nor one minute or scene where a character (good or bad, male or female) stops to look at a sunset or sunrise or just to take in the city. There is none of that. All movements, words, and facial expressions are used up by a fast-moving plot about two men—a dedicated cop and a devious drug dealer—who spend every bit of energy in their bodies looking for any opportunity that will gain them the upper hand in a struggle that involves the power of the state, large amounts of underworld capital, informal warehouses and factories, South Korean and Japanese investors, and a law that has deep roots in Chinese history (the infamous opium trade that brought on the “century of humiliation” for this ancient civilization). Drug War is Hong Kong cinema at its best. (CHARLES MUDEDE) SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 pm, Sat-Sun 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 pm, Mon-Tues 6:30, 8:45 pm.

EUROPA REPORT

Astronauts face the psychological tolls of space travel while on a beleaguered voyage to Jupiter’s moon, Europa, in search of alien life. Varsity, Fri-Sun 2:40, 4:50, 7:15, 9:20 pm, Mon-Tues 4:50, 7:15, 9:20 pm.

FRANKENSTEIN’S ARMY

Hitler’s last ditch attempt to win the war: creating an army of Nazi zombies. Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat 11 pm.

GUSTAFER YELLOWGOLD

This multimedia live performance about a character from the sun who befriends various earthly beings has been characterized as “a cross between Yellow Submarine and Dr. Seuss.” Northwest Film Forum, Sun Aug 11 at 5 pm.

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE

The cult bomb about a polygamous pagan cult and the vacationing family that encounters it hits the big screen at SIFF, in a conceptually hilarious 2K restoration. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Wed Aug 7 at 9 pm.

MEDITATION, CREATIVITY, PEACE

The Pacific Northwest premiere of the new film from David Lynch, which is a documentary about the recent works of the David Lynch Foundation for Consciousness-Based Education and World Peace. Free screening. Seattle Art Museum, Wed Aug 7 at 7 pm.

MY DINNER WITH ANDRE

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. Northwest Film Forum, Fri 9:15, Sat-Tues 7, 9:15 pm.

Don’t get me wrong—this year’s Pacific Rim is great special-effects fun. But nothing in even the best computergenerated monster movie can come close to the glory of a special effect crafted by the late, great Ray Harryhausen. Two of his stop-motion creature features—The 7th Voyage of Sinbad and Jason and the Argonauts—are showing all week long at the Grand Illusion, and tonight’s double feature of two mystery Harryhausen flicks will send literal shivers down your literal spine. CGI looks lighter than air in comparison to Harryhausen’s skeleton armies, vicious dinosaurs, and giant octopuses. (PAUL CONSTANT) Grand Illusion, Fri-Tues. For complete schedules and showtimes, see grandillusioncinema.org.

NOW PLAYING

THE ATTACK

The Attack begins in a Tel Aviv police car that’s transporting an Arab doctor, Amin Jaafari, to his posh apartment, which is being searched for evidence. The night before, he was receiving an award for excellence in his profession; this morning, his wife, Siham, is suspected of being a suicide bomber who killed dozens. The Attack is moody and beautiful, and it makes no effort to find easy answers to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. The real story is the doctor’s heartbreak. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

BLACKFISH

Orca-lovers beware: This ain’t Free Willy . Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s searing indictment of Sea World’s cruel exploitation of “killer whales” and the inhumane practice of confining these magnificent creatures is heartbreaking and enraging. From Puget Sound’s barbaric history of capturing calves in the 1970s to the abuses that most likely drove bull orca Tilikum to kill two different trainers, this gripping documentary stirs up many of the same emotions the Oscar-winning The Cove did in 2009. While theme-park corporate flunkies blame accidents and deaths on “trainer error,” Cowperthwaite’s doc asks: Just how much suffering is our need for entertainment worth? (JEFF MEYERS)

THE CONJURING

The story is based on an experience by real-life 1970s ghost-hunting power couple Ed and Lorraine Warren (exorcists and original investigators of the Amityville house). The film maintains a perfect balance of charmingly retro Satan-hysteria (demonic possession! Witches! Priests! Holy water!) and classic haunted-house trickery (doors slamming! Doors opening themselves! Rocking chairs rocking with no one sitting in them!). This balance, combined with spot-on acting by Vera Farmiga as Lorraine and Lili Taylor as the mother trying to save her family from certain demonic doom, is perfectly reminiscent of greats like Poltergeist, The Omen, and The Exorcist. (KELLY O)

FRUITVALE STATION

Oscar Grant was the unarmed 22-year-old black man who was shot to death by a transit cop in an Oakland train station—Fruitvale Station—on January 1, 2009. At trial, the officer convinced the jury that he mistook his gun for a Taser. Convicted of involuntary manslaughter, he served 11 months and was home before the year was out. In a way, Grant himself is on trial in Fruitvale Station, humanized compassionately yet unflinchingly on the big screen. But ultimately, you need only ask yourself: Why does this man have to prove he doesn’t

THE TO DO LIST

The year is 1993, and the place is Boise, Idaho, where uptight valedictorian Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza, from Parks and Recreation) is determined to fulfill a sexual checklist before summer ends and her life as an undergrad at Georgetown University begins. The checklist culminates in her ultimate sex goal: boning Rusty, a fellow lifeguard and glorified soul patch with abs. The film’s opening is a little rough. Plaza isn’t quite believable as the Type-A nerd. Writer/director Maggie Carey uses nostalgia (Trapper Keepers! Scrunchies! Pearl Jam!) as a crutch to draw her audience in and make up for the fact that she steamrolls over plot and character setup. The transitions are abrupt and clunky. Some jokes, like wishing people dead of AIDS in the early ‘90s, fall painfully flat. But those flaws can be forgiven, as Plaza and an amazing supporting cast— including Donald Glover as a student of cunnilingus, Bill Hader as a homeless pool manager, and Rachel Bilson as Brandy’s delightfully cunty older sister—hit their stride with great comedic timing. Soon enough, you don’t care about the limp summer rivalry with another pool, or whether Brady will lose her virginity to Rusty or her sensitive study buddy with the ‘90s bowl cut. It’s enough to sit back, relax into wave after wave of Hillary Clinton and Gloria Steinem jokes, and take pleasure in the fact that for once, you’re not watching a film about another nerdy girl’s quest for true love. Refreshingly, this is just one girl’s quest to fuck and get fucked. (CIENNA MADRID)

WE’RE THE MILLERS

It’s a good thing Jason Sudeikis is so dang likable. Through the first two-thirds of his latest, We’re the Millers, he almost singlehandedly propels what ends up being a slow and creaky rough start. Sudeikis plays David, a thirtysomething pot dealer who gets robbed, landing him at the mercy of his drug-lord boss, Brad, an amusingly whimsical asshole played by Ed Helms. Brad orders him down to Mexico to

I TELEVISION TM

BEST TV MOMENT EVARRRRR!

I know a thing or two about television— and if you doubt that statement, maybe you should look down and see if you’re currently writing a television column. Oh, you’re not? THEN CLOSE YOUR CORN HOLE. Anyway. Since I know a thing or two about television, you should trust me implicitly when I say that my choice for the “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” is the absolute BEST choice EVARRRRR! True, you may have your own choice for the “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” and that might be the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show (PUH-LEEZE. Did they even have television back then?), Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” at the Super Bowl (umm… who cares… ever heard of internet porn?), or that limey advertising exec on Mad Men who got his foot lopped off by a lawn mower (actually, that was pretty good!)—but you’d still… be… wrong! The absolute BEST “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” is… (Drumroll, crash!) Okay, I probably shouldn’t tell you. Hey, don’t get furious with me! It’s YOUR fault I can’t tell you! If you would watch my favorite TV series in a timely fashion, and stop squealing “No spoilers! No spoilers!” every time I walked into a room, maybe I wouldn’t have to be so goddamn coy! HOWEVER! I can tell you this: The “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” was featured on one of the best television shows EVARRRRR, Breaking Bad—and it involved a tortoise,

pick up a drug shipment, and so David enlists his neighbors Kenny (Will Poulter), an abandoned latchkey kid, and Rose (Jennifer Aniston), a stripper, plus runaway Casey (Emma Roberts). Together they pose as a white-bread American family, “the Millers,” to avoid arousal of suspicion. The comedy that unfolds is what you’d expect: The characters’ real personalities occasionally emerge, they bond over shared perils, and they start to feel like the real family none of them really have. The predictable stuff feels desperate and forced, but the film is at its best when it gets weird and a little dark—like, say, a scene where David convinces Kenny to suck a Mexican police officer’s dick the way a coach would map out a football play. As for Aniston, it is, as you would imagine, infinitely more comfortable to watch her in her khaki capri pants than out of them for her stripper scenes, which feel uncomfortably wooden (no pun intended). Poulter, on the other hand, shows promise as the next quirky/awkward actor to show up on comedy rotation, while Roberts is almost completely flat (though to be fair, her character isn’t very interesting in the first place). For big-budget, mainstream fare, you could do infinitely worse—there are some hilarious moments, though mostly packed to the back. And yet, you—and Sudeikis—could also do so, so much better. (MARJORIE SKINNER)

THE WOLVERINE I’m happy to report that The Wolverine is far better than Origins. It’s better than The Last Stand, too. (Weirdly, it’s more of a sequel to The Last Stand than to Origins; if you don’t know going in that Wolverine was forced to kill his beloved Jean Grey in order to save the universe at the end of The Last Stand, you’ll likely be confused by the beginning of the new film.) It’s still not the truly great, gritty Wolverine movie that Jackman’s breakout scenes of savagery in X2 promised a decade ago, but it’s at least a step up from dreck. (PAUL CONSTANT)

a decapitated head, and an explosion AND THAT’S ALL I’M GONNA SAY!

Fans of Breaking Bad—which starts the second half of its ﬁfth and ﬁnal season this Sunday on AMC at 10 p.m.—who have actually watched the series in a timely manner will know exactly what I’m talking about. They’ll also knowingly nod their heads because they know—and I know—that I’m absolutely correct in calling that particular scene the “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!”

For those who have never seen the show—well, I don’t know what to say. I suppose you’re an idiot, because Breaking Bad is a fantastic series that just so happened to include the “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” But if you’re curious, Breaking Bad tells the story of a high-school chemistry teacher who catches cancer and starts producing meth to support his family. BUT! It is sooooo much more. It’s also a story of power and greed, and how money can take someone with the best of intentions and send them on a downward spiral into the lakes of hell. Plus it’s funny! And sad. And serious! And sometimes? Absolutely terrifying. And when this—its ﬁnal season—comes to a close, I can guarantee you it will be remembered as one of the most important and noteworthy television series of all time. Plus, it also contains the “Best Television Moment EVARRRRR!” So there’s that.

Sure, you can continue to argue with me that there are better shows in the world—but again, you would be WRONG. Did The Wire have a tortoise/decapitated head/explosion? NO. Did The Sopranos have a tortoise/decapitated head/explosion? Did The Golden Girls have a tortoise/decapitated head/explosion? NO. So stop arguing with me, quickly catch up on Breaking Bad, get your own TV column—AND CLOSE… YOUR… CORN HOLE.

COMIC | BY ROBYN JORDAN

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

For the Week of August 7

ARIES (March 21–April 19): “You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings,” says author Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend that you experiment with this subversive idea, Aries. Just for a week, see what happens if you devote yourself to making yourself feel really good. I mean risk going to extremes as you pursue happiness with focused zeal. Try this: Draw up a list of experiences that you know will give you intense pleasure, and indulge in them all without apology. And please don’t fret about the possible consequences of getting crazed with joy. Be assured that the cosmos is providing you with more slack than usual.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): “I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits,” writes Taurus author Annie Dillard, “but instead am wandering awed about on a splintered wreck I’ve come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air.” I recommend you try on her perspective for size. For now, just forget about scrambling after perfection. At least temporarily, surrender any longing you might have for smooth propriety. Be willing to live without neat containment and polite decorum. Instead, be easy and breezy. Feel a generous acceptance for the messy beauty you’re embedded in. Love your life exactly as it is, with all of its paradoxes and mysteries.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): Studies show that when you’re driving a car, your safest speed is five miles per hour higher than the average rate of traffic. Faster than that, though, and the danger level rises. Traveling more slowly than everyone else on the road also increases your risk of having an accident. Applying these ideas metaphorically, I’d like to suggest you take a similar approach as you weave your way through life’s challenges in the coming week. Don’t dawdle and plod. Move a little swifter than everyone else, but don’t race along at a breakneck pace.

CANCER (June 21–July 22): The key theme this week is relaxed intensification. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to heighten and strengthen your devotion to things that are important to you—but in ways that make you feel more serene and self-possessed. To accomplish this, you will have to ignore the conventional wisdom, which falsely asserts that going deeper and giving more of yourself require you to increase your stress levels. You do indeed have a great

potential for going deeper and giving more of yourself, but only if you also become more at peace with yourself and more at home in the world.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): Last year a young Nebraskan entrepreneur changed his name from Tyler Gold to Tyrannosaurus Rex Gold. He said it was a way of giving him greater name recognition as he worked to build his career. Do you have any interest in making a bold move like that, Leo? The coming weeks would be a good time for you to think about adding a new twist to your nickname or title or self-image. But I recommend something less sensationalistic and more in-line with the qualities you’d actually like to cultivate in the future. I’m thinking of something like Laughing Tiger or Lucky Lion or Wily Wildcat.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): African American jazz singer Billie Holiday was the great-granddaughter of a slave. By the time she was born in 1915, black people in the American South were no longer “owned” by white “masters,” but their predicament was still extreme. Racism was acute and debilitating. Here’s what Billie wrote in her autobiography: “You can be up to your boobies in white satin, with gardenias in your hair and no sugar cane for miles, but you can still be working on a plantation.” Nothing you experience is remotely as oppressive as what Billie experienced, Virgo. But I’m wondering if you might suffer from a milder version of it. Is any part of you oppressed and inhibited even though your outward circumstances are technically unconstrained? If so, now’s the time to push for more freedom.

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): What resounding triumphs and subtle transformations have you accomplished since your last birthday? How have you grown and changed? Are there any ways you have dwindled or drooped? The next few weeks will be an excellent time to take inventory of these things. Your own evaluations will be most important, of course. You’ve got to be the ultimate judge of your own character. But you should also solicit the feedback of people you trust. They may be able to help you see clues you’ve missed. If, after weighing all the evidence, you decide you’re pleased with how your life has unfolded these past 10 to 11 months, I suggest you celebrate your success. Throw yourself a party or buy yourself a reward or climb to the top of a mountain and unleash a victory cry.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): Monmouth Park in New Jersey hosts regular horse races from May through November. During one such event in 2010, a horse named Thewifenoseeverything finished first, just ahead of another nag named Thewifedoesntknow. I suspect that there’ll be a comparable outcome in your life sometime soon. Revelation will trump secrecy. Whoever is hiding information will

lose out to anyone who sees and expresses the truth. I advise you to bet on the option that’s forthcoming and communicative, not the one that’s furtive and withholding.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): You have both a poetic and a cosmic license to stretch yourself further. It’s best not to go too far, of course. You should stop yourself before you obliterate all boundaries and break all taboos and smash all precedents. But you’ve certainly got the blessings of fate if you seek to disregard some boundaries and shatter some taboos and outgrow some precedents. While you’re at it, you might also want to shed a few pinched expectations and escape an irrelevant limitation or two. It’s time to get as big and brave and brazen as you dare.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): When I was 19, a thug shot me in the butt with a shotgun at close range. To this day, my body contains the 43 pellets he pumped into me. They have caused some minor health problems, and I’m always queasy when I see a gun. But I don’t experience any routine suffering from the wound. Its original impact no longer plagues me. What’s your own personal equivalent of my trauma, Capricorn? A sickness that racked you when you were young? A difficult breakup with your first love? The death of someone you cared about? Whatever it was, I suspect you now have the power to reach a new level of freedom from that old pain.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): Want to take full advantage of the sexy vibes that are swirling around in your vicinity? One thing you could do is whisper the following provocations in the ear of anyone who would respond well to a dose of boisterous magic: (1) “Corrupt me with your raw purity, baby; beguile me with your raucous honesty.” (2) “I finally figured out that one of the keys to eternal happiness is to be easily amused. Want me to show you how that works?” (3) “I dare you to quench my thirst for spiritual sensuality.” (4) “Let’s trade clothes and pretend we’re each other’s higher selves.”

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): Some people put their faith in religion or science or political ideologies. English novelist J. G. Ballard placed his faith elsewhere: in the imagination. “I believe in the power of the imagination to remake the world,” he wrote, “to release the truth within us, to hold back the night, to transcend death, to charm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves with birds, to enlist the confidences of madmen.” As you make your adjustments and reconfigure your plans, Pisces, I suggest you put your faith where Ballard did. Your imagination is far more potent and dynamic than you realize—especially right now.

Homework: Make a guess about where you’ll be and what you’ll be doing ten years from today. Testify at Freewill astrology.com.

BY WM. TM STEVEN HUMPHREY

APARTMENTS

QUEEN ANNE $1,000

Large 1 & 2BD’s. 1BD w/balcony & 1 without starting at $1000.

VIEW LOT (24,000+SQ.FT) just waiting for custom home or potential for 3units. Excellent location. Call, Natalia 206-979-0753, AssociateBroker, Skyline Properties, www.NataliasHomes.com

ROOMMATES

STUDIO/CREATIVE

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN) LOOKING FOR A room or roommate in the greater seattle area? Call us at 800=488=8050 or www.rme1.com. SINCE 1989 WE

OFFICE/COMMERCIAL

COUNSELING

OTHER

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY?

THINKING OF ADOPTION? Open or closed adoption. YOU choose the family. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. AbbyÕs One True Gift Adoptions. Call 24/7. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Save Big Now, Discreet shipping. Call 1-800-374-2619 Today! (AAN CAN)

CLEANING

MASSAGE

CARPET CLEANING SPECIAL! $29.99

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

20 ACRES FREE! Own 60 acres for 40 acre price/payment. $0 down, $198/month. Money back guarantee, no credit checks. Beautiful views, West Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.TexasLandBuys.com (AAN CAN)

2810SQ FEET, 6BEDROOMS, 2.75bath, 2car garage, built on 1/4 acre lot in Auburn, WA. $177,000 Man 206-617-7569

only. Lastminute encouraged.

ENJOY A PROFESSIONAL Massage on Capitol Hill. 11:00-9:00p.m. All are welcome. Relaxation and deep tissue massage. 14 years experience as an LMP. Close to broadway ave. and gold’s gym. Jeff 206-650-0542 $55.00 an hour and $80.00 for 90 minutes.

LAURIE’S MASSAGE (206)919-2180

LIKE A JAPANESE Hot Springs - At The Gated Sanctuary you can soak naked outside among soaring cedar trees in jetted hot pools, dip in a cold plunge, and relax with therapeutic massage. Unwind in our eucalyptus steam room. (425)334-6277 www.TheGatedSanctuary.com

CARS/TRUCKS

and Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

Wild Bill 425-265-7103

MUSIC INSTRUCTION & SERVICES

LEGENDARY PIANIST AVAILABLE

Opened for Jeff Bridges! I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have a piano.

MUSICIANS WANTED

AUXILIARY PERCUSSIONIST

NEEDED to round and augment the percussive element of experimental rock band. Polyrhythms, metal percussion, timbales, bottles and knives will be used, along with other implements. Black Flag, Swans, Savage Republic. No drugs. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@ hotmail.com/www.rendingsinew.com

AVANT-ROCK BAND SEEKING cellist to complete personnel. Drums/Bass/Guitar/Voice. Swans, Glenn Branca, Godspeed You!Black Emperor, Zero 7, Jarboe, Live Skull, Saint Vitus, Black Sabbath, Black Flag. No drugs. We have a rehearsal space. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@gmail.com www.myspace.com/branavinix

DRUMMER WANTED FOR Rock band by heavy guitar player. Influences include Sabbath, Blue Cheer, MC5, Stooges, Misfits and Monster Magnet. skgrease@hotmail.com. www.myspace. com/eroder also on facebook!

BAND REHEARSAL

DRUMS WANTED - blues/rock coverband. Infl: Bonham, Kirk, Baker, etc. Please be pro, hard hitting with lots of exp. 40s+. Call for details 206-7553044 or 206-919-0514

EXPERIMENTAL ROCK BAND seeking keyboardist/soundscape artist. Swans, Big Black, Neurosis, Black Flag, Killing Joke, Throbbing Gristle, Laibach, SPK, Coil, Godflesh, Savage Republic, Pigface, Jarboe, Diamanda Galas, Head of David. No drugs. Bass/ drums/guitar. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@hotmail.com/www.rendingsinew. com

KEYBOARDIST WANTED FOR an avant-rock band. Swans, Black Flag, Masada, John Zorn, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Zero 7, Of Cabbages and Kings, Suicide. No drugs. We have a rehearsal space. Bass/Drums/Cello/ Violin/Guitar/Voice. 206.547.2615/ omaritaylor@hotmail.com www. myspace.com/branavinix

SINGERS WANTED. CHRISTMAS? Harmony? Paid gigs? The Dickens Carolers! Auditions for SATB quartets in early-mid August. Approx 40 singers make $25-35/hr performing throughout the Puget Sound. Visit “Auditions” page at www.dickenscarolers.com or call 206-320-7007 for an audition appointment.

RECORDING/REHEARSAL

BAND REHEARSAL SPACE 1 Shared Room @$210/month Incl. 36hrs/month & Private closet and Private Rooms @ $500/mo. Call 425445-9165 or Visit wildersoundstudios. com Located in SODO Seattle

MIRROR SOUND STUDIO offers

The Finest Recording, Mixing, Mastering and Duplication Services at the BEST Rates to Seattle Bands and Artists in a clean comfortable airconditioned multi-room facility since 1997. Listen to some of our work samples online at www.mirrorsound. com. Block rates and EP Packages are available this summer including our Ò1-day Demo DealÓ designed for bands that need their demo done yesterday. Experienced engineers will cater to every detail imaginable to get your sound perfected using the best in analog and digital recording gear: Pro Tools HD2, Soundcraft, Lexicon, DBX, Aphex, Waves, Neuman, Sennheiser, JBL to name a few. Ask about our pre-production rehearsal package, GET REAL production advice BEFORE you record. CALL Today 206-440-5889, ask for Ken.

THE HIVE RECORDING Studio: 206-249-8942 band and vocal recording, editing, mixing, and mastering. Work with experienced credited engineers/producers! Check us out at h www.TheHiveRecordingStudio.com

Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals

GIRL ON THE 4TH FLOOR

I guess we haven’t run into each other before since we live on different floors, or maybe you’ve just moved in recently. It’s too bad, I was quite taken with you when we met outside during the fire. When: Wednesday, July 31, 2013. Where: q.a. hill. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919886

THAT’S SO RAVEN AT LICK

Me: bite outside of Pony. complimented your “that’s so Raven”tank as u walked by. Moments later u came back and told me, u appreciated the complimented & that u had made the tank. U gave a little hug. How sweet When: Saturday, August 3, 2013. Where: Chop Suey. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #919885

MAGNOLIA ALBERTSON’S

VODKA SEARCH

I offered my thoughts on the best vodka for Bloody Mary’s and chatted with you in line. My loss for not introducing myself. When: Saturday, August 3, 2013. Where: Albertson’s Magnolia. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919884

DEXTER BUS STOP

You were waiting for a bus, stripped slacks, cute blouse, freckles. Me stopped (GMC SUV) at the bus stop because of traffic, we were checking each other out. Yes, saw you looking! ;) Meet for coffee or drinks? When: Tuesday, July 30, 2013. Where: Dexter bus stop, near Aloha ST. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919883

WHEN THE SCHNECKEN BECKONS!

Besalu.Me, a drowsy brunette waiting in an endless line.You, a fine ass man in a gray sweatshirt strolling by.We shared a look and a smile.Stupid me, I should have asked you to share a schneken!Thanks for waking up my morning. When: Friday, August 2, 2013. Where: Ballard, Friday morning outside Besalu. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919881

SOLO BAR IN QUEEN ANNE

You were with your friends at the bar. I was sitting at the couches adjacent with 2 ladies. You’re adorable. We made eye contact briefly...we smiled at each other as left. Perhaps we could meet up over a beer? When: Thursday, August 1, 2013. Where: Solo Bar Queen Anne. You: Man. Me: Man. #919879

WORLD MARKET PIKE PLACE

NEUROANESTHESIOLOGIST

AT JOE BAR

You were studying for your neuroanesthesiology board exam, me working on my computer in the beer industry. We talked about math & Science. You left & I didn’t ask your number. Your smile was intoxicating. Talk again at Joe Bar? When: Monday, July

71 BUS OF EXCHANGED GLANCES

though it was mostly about how much carrying stuff uphill blows. You were still charming as hell though. :] When: Sunday, July 28, 2013. Where: Convention Place Station. You: Man. Me: Man. #919869

Q - SUNDAY JULY 28

Sara(h)

Birthday Girl at Cult concert

Our friends bought us tix to The Cult for our birthdays. Had a nice time with you. Would like to share the pictures we took, and a drink?. You - red shirt with Egyptian symbols. Me - plaid long-sleeve shirt.

When: Tuesday, July 30, 2013. Where: Showbox/SoDo. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919877

Sondra, I enjoyed talking to you at checkout. I was the guy in the black shirt who’s card didn’t work. You’re pretty and sweet and I’d like to buy you dinner. When: Monday, July 29, 2013. Where: World Market near Pike Place. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919875

SWEET ATLANTA OLD SAGE

7/29

You were out for your birthday. Happy birthday! We talked briefly. I hope again to see you around. I’d love to just have some one on one time with you. Sincerely, Red Hat (you know me) When: Monday, July 29, 2013. Where: Old Sage Capitol Hill. You: Man. Me: Man. #919874

BEAUTIFUL BARELY

DESCRIBES YOU

You at the front the in white blouse reading. I once shouted to the driver at Lander to let you out the back. And your glances my way? More please. Let’s meet though I will not be bussing this week. When: Monday, July 29, 2013. Where: 116 @

SAVAGE LOVE

Bros BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a 25-year-old male. After a tragic set of circumstances, I am now the legal guardian of my 15-year-old brother. He’s gay. Fortunately, our parents took care of “the talk” and taught him how to use condoms. Unfortunately, he has started dating a senior at his school who is about to turn 18 and is a fucking sleazeball. You know the type: entitled, narcissistic LA type, drives a BMW paid for by his rich parents. This asshole has no respect for my brother. He grabs my brother’s ass or says disgusting things like “You really look fuckable in those jeans.” I told him to stop that behavior, and he just replied, “Sorry, I can’t keep my hands off such a hottie.” A keeper for sure, right?

My parents would probably know what to do, but they’re dead. I don’t think he’s mature enough to be in a sexual relationship, but I’m fairly sure he is already sexually active. I laid down the law and told him that he couldn’t see his boyfriend anymore, but he has continued to see him behind my back and now doesn’t tell me anything that is going on with his life. I don’t know what he’s doing with a guy like that. My brother is smart, plays lots of sports, and is really involved at school. I’m afraid this loser is going to destroy all that.

I’m new to all of this parenting stuff, but I know that he can’t continue to see this person. I know that my issue isn’t what you usually deal with, but as a parent yourself, what would you do?

New Parent Needs Help

I’m so sorry about the tragedy that befell your family, NPNH, and the loss of both your parents. You deserve nothing but praise for taking your brother in and taking him on. That said…

You don’t need to round your brother’s boyfriend up to 18—you don’t need to round him up to “statutory rapist”—to make him sound like an asshole. He sounds like a big enough asshole at age 17. And there’s nothing inappropriate about a 17-year-old kid dating a 15-year-old kid, NPNH. You may be tempted to alert the authorities after your brother’s asshole boyfriend (BAB) turns 18, but BAB is protected by your state’s age-ofconsent laws, which treat sex between a minor and an adult differently if the adult is within three years of the minor’s age, which this asshole is.

It’s also entirely appropriate for a 17-yearold gay boy to grab his 15-year-old boyfriend’s ass. And it’s entirely appropriate for a 17-yearold to tell his 15-year-old boyfriend that he looks fuckable in his jeans. But it is insanely inappropriate for a 17-year-old kid to do and say those things in front of his 15-year-old boyfriend’s parent or legal guardian. Still, NPNH, instead of forbidding your brother from dating this asshole or refusing to let BAB visit your house, speak up when BAB behaves like an asshole in front of you. (“Now is not the time, guys.” “Knock that shit off, please.” “I don’t want to hear about my brother’s sex life any more than he wants to hear about my sex life.”) If the asshole doesn’t listen—if BAB keeps grabbing your brother’s ass—ask him to leave. It’s your house and you make the rules. But you should resist the urge to make unenforceable rules like “You may not see this guy,” as that will only undermine your authority while driving them into each other’s arms. Worse yet, if your brother isn’t supposed to be seeing this guy at all, NPNH, he won’t feel comfortable turning to you for advice if BAB is pressuring him to do anything dangerous. Your brother needs to be able to talk about his relationship with you, and he can’t do that if he’s not supposed to be in that relationship. And take comfort: If BAB is as shallow and materialistic as your letter makes him sound, odds are good that he’ll tire of your brother soon enough and move on to the next hot piece of ass who’s impressed by his BMW. This is a problem that is likely to solve itself.

My dad just died. He was a pedophile. A lot of stuff is coming up for both my brother and me now. There are many things he did that we know about, but some things happened when we were so young that we’re not sure about. My bro just said he’s had dreams throughout his life—many more of them lately—about a cock being in his mouth. He’s hetero and has been married for more than 20 years. He wonders if any other straight men have dreams like this or if it is some manifestation of the abuse. He is too afraid to ask any of his straight male friends. So I ask you: Do straight men ever have dreams of a cock in their mouth? Or is it odd? Gay? What?

The Brothers Grim

“I am very sorry for TBG’s loss, as complicated as it is,” said Dr. James Cantor, a psychologist, associate professor at the University of Toronto, and editor in chief of Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment. “The quick answer t o his question: no. Although it is unusual, having dreams like that does not, by itself, mean a man is gay or otherwise into penises. (Okay, technically, it’s ‘penes.’) Although there haven’t been any formal surveys, gay men usually dream (and fantasize while masturbating) about men in general: muscles and faces, celebrities and crushes, the range of their favorite sex acts, etc. I haven’t heard a gay man—friend or client—describe dreams restricted lifelong to just penis-in-mouth.”

Dr. Cantor offers a caveat for other readers:

“For a long time, many folks believed that such dreams were repressed memories trying to surface. But there was never any good evidence for it. In fact, a great deal of harm has been done by well-meaning ‘therapists’ who, instead of helping clients to recover lost memories, wound up creating false memories of abuse and destroying whole families.” So very clearly and for the record: “Having such dreams, by itself, does not mean a person was abused.”

What is odd, however, is the long-standing, repetitive nature of the dreams.

“Although dreams do not tell us anything specific (again, these are not memories-in-waiting or great symbolic themes), they can suggest that there is something on his mind,” said Dr. Cantor.

“If life is going generally well, and this is just a harmless eccentricity, so be it. If, however, your brother is experiencing more general distress, then that distress—whether fallout from childhood abuse, from the death of your father, or from something else—could be targeted with a bona fide, licensed therapist. Complicated situations like yours almost always involve multiple strong and conflicting emotions. Because you say lots of stuff (other than these dreams) is coming up for you both, an objective outsider/listener can indeed be of great help in sorting it out.”

What do you say to a college-age brother who tells you more about his sex life than you want to hear? I love my bro, but I don’t need to know how much pussy he’s getting. I used to tell him about my “triumphs,” but we were in high school then, and I’ve matured since. He was a late bloomer, he’s kind of insecure, and I think he’s excited to be doing well socially and sexually. But I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

Brotherly Boundaries

“There are two kinds of guys in the world, bro. Guys who can’t stop talking about all the pussy they’re getting, and guys who’re actually getting all sorts of pussy.”

This week on the Savage Lovecast, a discussion on the hysteria surrounding female sexuality and hookup culture on college campuses. Find it at savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

JOE NEWTON

Ahh! Time to get *Ahh-thorized* 24/7 Patient Verification

Doctor-Nurse Owned Holistic Center 425-243-2441 or 888.508.5428

AdvancedHolisticHealth.org

Be an Egg Donor

Are you a healthy woman in your 20’s who loves to help others, or know someone who is?

We would love to talk with you! Generous compensation. Call: 206-515-0042 or email: DonorEggBank@pnwfertility.com

Become a Pilates Teacher! Enroll now for our fall program

Pilates Instructors are in high demand! We’ve been training career instructors since 2004. vitalitypilates.com/teach

Considering adoption?

Mixed-race Asian mother with adopted African-American son seeks to adopt a second child. Stable, multicultural home full of love and hugs. Bilingual Spanish/English. To learn more, please call, TEXT, or email anytime: 503-683-2043 or sunitiadoption@gmail.com.

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle

Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound. We offer free pickup of used vehicles in most cases running or not. Tax deductible. (206) 248-5982

FREE CERVICAL CANCER SCREENING

Age: 21+. Volunteers will receive either self-collected at home HPV testing or regular Pap test screening. Up to $200 compensation for study completion. Call 206-543-3327 or e-mail homehpv@uw.edu.

Get Strong and Live Long at Quantum Martial Arts! 964 Denny Way, Seattle. (206) 322-4799 Quantumseattle.org

LEGENDARY PIANIST AVAILABLE

Opened for Jeff Bridges! Clubs, Weddings, Parties

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals.

Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have piano!|

PLLC (206)264-1590 www.meryhewlaw.com