The Stranger's 2024 City Guide

Editorial

99 THINGS TO DO BEFORE THE

BIG ONETAKESUSALL

Welcome to Seattle! We’re all going to die.

At least, that’s what they tell me.

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve been hearing about “the Big One” my whole life. I was born two weeks after Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980 and thrown, naked and screaming, into a world still reeling from the catastrophic reminder that the Pacific Northwest is riddled with fault lines and active volcanos.

The fear was further embedded into my brain in elementary school, as we practiced earthquake drills more often than fire drills and took field trips to the mountain to stand in the aftermath of nature’s unapologetic power—while being told, “It will happen again.”

It’s not just the Northwest obsessed with the idea of the Big One, either. The whole world knows this corner of the country is fucked. In 2015, The New York Times published an article titled “The Really Big One,” a horrifically detailed 6,000-word description of the certain doom awaiting Washington the instant the Cascadia subduction zone—a 700-mile fault line that stretches from Vancouver Island, Canada to Cape Mendocino, California—snaps. The 9.1 magnitude earthquake will be the least of our worries, it turns out. A tsunami will form 42-foot waves in the Puget Sound and wash slices of civilization out to sea. Lahars, rivers of mud and debris capable of reaching hundreds of feet deep and traveling 45-50 miles per hour, will flow from Mount Rainier and obliterate everything in their path for miles. It’s not if, it’s when.

It’s really a shame, too, because Seattle is so fucking great! Sure, we here at The Stranger talk a lot of shit about this city—I mean, as we put this issue to bed, the cop-loving City Council is preparing to vote on whether or not to give the Seattle Police Department (which is under investigation for gender discrimination and sexual harassment) $96 million in back pay and raises just days after the Seattle School Board voted to possibly close 20 of Seattle’s 70 elementary schools for budgetary reasons (priorities!)—but flaws and inevitable extinction be damned, I love this city. And I want you to love it, too.

So, to ensure you experience the best possible version of Seattle, The Stranger’s writers compiled this list of 99 things you need to do to truly “get” Seattle. Whether you’re here for a weekend or a lifetime, I hope you’ll flip through this issue and feel inspired to get out there and explore, to find the coolest and weirdest and most surprising and delicious aspects of the city. You know, the stuff you’re really, really gonna miss when it’s all gone. Because it’s coming. The Big One? Any day now.

Megan Seling, Culture Editor

Attractions & Landmarks Welcome to Our Weird Little Corner of the Country

Here’s something you might not expect to read in an alt-newspaper run by cynical assholes: many of Seattle’s well-known attractions are worth visiting. Pike Place Market, the Seattle Center, Smith Tower, the Seattle Underground… sure, they’re often crawling with tourists, but they’re also packed with history, offering context to this strange little world we’ve created in the upper left corner of America . And here’s a fun fact, while we’re talking about Seattle constantly being threatened with devastating natural disasters, aka the Big One: The Space Needle was built to withstand up to a 9.0 magnitude earthquake. Good luck up there!

Have a Picnic at the Hats ’n’ Boots at Oxbow Park

GEORGETOWN

Eating a sandwich under, or near, the largest hat and boots in America is a simple joy. Back in the ‘50s, Hat ‘n’ Boots served as the respective office and restrooms of the state’s most successful gas station. Business boomed until I-5 siphoned traffic from the Georgetown neighborhood and it closed in 1988. The giant accessories would’ve been erased from the face of the earth if passionate neighborhood residents hadn’t wrangled the funds to save, restore, and relocate the iconic

structures to Oxbow Park in 2003. It’s a really big hat! Giddy up! (VIVAN

Stand on the Space

Needle’s Glass Floor

SEATTLE CENTER

“It’s a tourist trap!” they cry. “What a waste of money!” they shout. Ignore the haters. Whether you’re in town for the weekend or a lifelong Seattleite, it’s worth taking a trip to the top of the Space Needle at least once in your life. The 605-foot-tall attraction was built for the 1962 World’s Fair, but it underwent a massive renovation in 2017 and now features a disorientingly awesome (awesomely disorienting?) rotating

MCCALL)

JESSIXA

all-glass floor. You can stand on it or sit on it or lay on it belly down to feel like you’re (very slowly) flying above the city. One floor above that is an all-glass observation deck that offers one of the best views in the city. (MEGAN SELING)

Get High and Go to the Seattle Aquarium

WATERFRONT

One day last year when I was feeling particularly depressed and burnt out, I decided to realize my dream of living out the Reductress headline “Stoned Woman Eating Pretzel Bread at Aquarium Has No Need for God or Money.” Just as I’d suspected, a little herbal enhancement transformed my grown-up field trip into a transcendent experience—I got to learn about the resident harbor seals,

witness frolicking sea otters, coo over puffins, and prod anemones in a touch tank. The highlight was gazing at undulating jellyfish in an illuminated tank, which I truly could have done for hours in my altered state. I highly recommend this entire outing as a salve for the melancholy soul. Plus, it’s a little-known fact that you can book free tickets to the Seattle Aquarium through the Seattle Public Library, so with some

planning, this low-lift excursion was also completely free. (JULIANNE BELL)

See Where That Person Got Abducted in Malignant PIONEER SQUARE

There is nothing quite like taking a pilgrimage to pay respect to an iconic horror destination right here within the city. No, not The Ring remake. I’m talking about where the one tour guide was abducted in Malignant You know, the Seattle-set film that was absolutely not filmed here though is still one of the most bonkers to ever pretend to? If you’re unfamiliar, the film features a key scene where a character is taken while cleaning up from an underground tour. The real tour in Seattle, Bill

Speidel’s Underground Tour, is nothing like how it appeared onscreen; it’s actually much more useful for understanding the true and complicated history of this place. But hey, you can always imagine there’s a terrifying figure lurking in the darkness that’s just waiting for its moment to strike. Just make sure you don’t lose your head.

(CHASE HUTCHINSON)

Duck Under Flying Fish at the Pike Place Market

PIKE PLACE MARKET

Pike Place Market may be one of the most stereotypical Seattle things you could do, but that place is legit magic. The market is full of tourists, but it’s absolutely a place locals go as well. (Never call it “Pike’s Place” unless you wanna get run out of town, and know that most Seattleites just call it “the market.”) There are 500 VENDORS, so every stop can be a new experience, but on your first trip, prioritize two things: fresh flowers and fresh fish. The flowers, sourced from local farms, are unbelievably beautiful and the huge bouquets are a bargain compared to florist shops or even grocery stores. Just beyond the rows of flowers, you’ll find the famous flying fish. A gimmick? Sure. But it’s pretty damn cool to watch the fishmongers

OLGA ANDREYANOVA

GREG STUMP

BECU was built by (and for) people who live here, just like you. We’re member-owned and member-led, and all PNW residents—from Spokane to Portland to the Puget Sound—are welcome to apply.

becu.org/join

Mattie M. & Sunanta A. Members

throw fish orders back and forth to each other to be bagged up and rung up for customers. And if you’re lucky, you might see celebrities including Bruce Springsteen, Chelsea Handler, or any number of local professional athletes fielding a fish for fans. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Ride a Ferry WATERFRONT

Every local has their preferred view of Seattle’s skyline. Some swear by Kerry Park on Queen Anne; others insist on Alki Beach in West Seattle. Personally, my favorite view of the city is the one you see while standing on the deck of a Washington State Ferry as it pulls away from Colman Dock downtown. Walk, bike, or drive onto a boat headed to Bremerton or Bainbridge Island— both have charming little city centers within walking distance from their respective landings—and grab a spot on the outside deck on the backside. It will be windy, it will probably be cold, but the air is crisp and salty and the view is incredible. You will see the whole skyline, from the Space Needle to Mount Rainier, stretching out across the horizon. Breathe it in. Then, as the city fades into the distance, warm up inside with a

Seattle’s iconic Gum Wall could be the key to saving the city. Tucked alongside Pike Place Market, you’ll find a tunnel-like passageway covered in chewed-up gum dating back to the 1990s. (The City did try to clean the wall once, in 2015, and removed more than 2,350 pounds of gum, but surely they missed some of the early bits, right?) Grab a pack of your favorite flavor and head on down to become a part of Seattle’s most disturbing wallpaper. Perhaps when the Big One hits, there might be enough of the sticky substance to stop the city from splitting in two… just make sure to wash your hands after. (NICO SWENSON)

Feed the Penguins at Woodland Park Zoo

PHINNEY RIDGE

Hang Out with Vlad

FREMONT

The TV news and right-wing pundits love to paint Seattle as some communist hellhole. To be fair, Seattle is a hellhole for many working people, but blame the corporatists in charge. But they do have one monument to help prove their point. A 16-foot bronze statue of Russian communist revolutionary Vladimir Lenin stands on the corner of Evanston Avenue North and North 34th Street in Fremont. Discourse reemerges every so often about ripping the statue down, but the statue, ironically, is protected because it’s privately owned and sits on private land. Go give it a look and get some Dumpling Tzar while you’re in the neighborhood. (HANNAH KRIEG)

too-hot cup of hot chocolate from a vending machine that looks like it’s been there since the ’80s. (MEGAN SELING)

Use Your Saliva to Save the City (or at Least the Gum Wall)

PIKE PLACE MARKET

While we might not know who put the first piece of colorful, chewed-up goop along Post Alley’s now-saliva-encrusted bricks, we do know that adding your gum to

If you want immediate gratification after walking into the west entrance of the Woodland Park Zoo, head straight to the penguin exhibit to give the little buddies some snacks. Every day from 11 am to 2 pm, people can purchase four fish for $5 and feed the penguins. The exhibit’s basically the first thing you hit and can start your trip off right. The habitat for the Humboldt penguin colony allows you to watch as these birds zip around underwater. Feed the penguins yourself, for the additional fee, or go to just watch the feedings at 2:30 pm every Thursday and Saturday. (ASHLEY NERBOVIG)

Get Soaked—or Don’t!—at the International Fountain

SEATTLE CENTER

You haven’t truly been to Seattle until you’ve been baptized in the waters of the International Fountain at the Seattle Center on a barely hot enough summer’s day. Built in 1961 for the World’s Fair, the fountain—which cycles through water shows set to music between 10 am and 9 pm—is a prime place to soak up the sun, dare your friends to touch the metal dome without getting drenched by unpredictable water cannons, or watch kids of all ages experience the purest forms of surprise and delight. It’s free, it’s fun, it’s in the shadow of the Space Needle, and it’s a lifelong challenge—I have never once touched the dome without getting absolutely soaked, though to my intense chagrin, I have watched a cocky teenager walk backward to the fountain’s heart with nary a drop. I’ll get you one day, fountain… (SHANNON LUBETICH)

Watch the Musical Film About Seattle’s Great Fire at the Museum of History & Industry

SOUTH LAKE UNION

The MOHAI is a must-see for both locals and visitors. The museum houses many stories, artifacts, and activities that help attendees connect with the region and its history, from the Great Fire to the birth of grunge music and technology that changed the world. Permanent exhibits include Maritime Seattle, the Bezos Center for Innovation, and True Northwest: The Seattle Journey. (On that journey, it is very important to watch the musical film about the fire, if only so you can hear the words “GLUE POT, GLUE POT” ringing in your head for days.) (STRANGER STAFF)

Go Troll Hunting

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Under the famous, almost 3,000-foot-long Aurora Bridge sits Seattle’s most famous troll. (Several other not-so-famous ones live in The Stranger’s online comments

ABNER CAMPOS

JESSICA STEIN

JESSICA STEIN

Ride a Ferry

Gum Wall

Fremont Troll

Mycology Immersion Treehouse

Everybody Loves Mushrooms!

The world of Fungi is not more complex than people think, it’s more complex than people can think. Immerse yourself in the fascinating world of Fungi while staying at the Cedar Falls Treehouse nestled in the trees just 30 minutes from Seattle. Delve into mycology and learn about mushrooms and their important roles in our world. Enjoy a delicious mushroom dinner and relax in our cedar sauna and outdoor soaking tub. Everybody Loves Mushrooms!

Learn more and book your foraged to table experience at: @cozyacresretreats @cooking_wild_mushrooms

www.cozyacresretreats.com/mycologyimmersion

section—har har.) A few fun facts: The Fremont Troll was installed in 1990, it weighs 13,000 pounds, and it was a filming location for the 1999 teen rom-com 10 Things I Hate About You. For years the Volkswagon-eating beast ruled the region, but in recent years, Seattle has seen somewhat of a troll resurgence. Buoy, the Seattle Kraken’s grunge-loving blue-haired mascot, moved into the Climate Pledge Arena in 2022, and more recently five of artist Thomas Dambo’s giant wooden trolls—they’re anywhere from 15 to 30 feet tall—have taken up residence in Ballard, West Seattle, Issaquah, Bainbridge Island, and Vashon Island. Try to spot them all! (MEGAN SELING)

Dance—and Drink, and Eat, and Party—in a Neoclassical Skyscraper

PIONEER SQUARE

After a revamping in 2021, Pioneer Square’s iconic Smith Tower now has all kinds of cool shit going on, including its actually very good lounge, the Smith Tower Observatory Bar. They do movie nights in the Orcas

Room, historic talking tours, DJ nights in the summer on the 22nd-floor lookout, and there’s a scary sky cage ringing around the entirety of the 35th floor, and you can get drunk and walk around in it! They also offer cocktail classes that are, at $125 a pop, admittedly not cheap, but you each get three cocktails and a complimentary glass of bubbly and you get to stuff your face interminably on a fancy charcuterie station with kiwi and capicola and about nine kinds of cheese. It’s a whole city’s worth of fun events packed into a single Neoclassical skyscraper. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Find Macklemore. It Will Happen. Give It Time.

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Every Seattle local has had an encounter with 2010s pop-rap icon Macklemore. I don’t think you can truly claim local status until it happens to you. The Stranger does not condone stalking, so please do not hide in his bushes. Part of the beauty of a Macklemore encounter is that it happens organically, after spending enough time out and

about. All I can really say is that vigilance is key—he looks like a great many white guys, so if you don’t have Mack on your mind, you may just pass him by. (HANNAH KRIEG)

Go Back in History at the Klondike Gold Rush National Historic Museum

PIONEER SQUARE

The Gold Rush Museum is tucked away on a corner in Pioneer Square, and if you aren’t looking for it, you’ll probably walk right past it. That is a major mistake. Everyone in Seattle should visit the Gold Rush Museum, which also happens to be one of the country’s tiniest national parks. Many bigger-budget, higher-profile museums do a terrible job of presenting their artifacts, but that’s precisely where the Gold Rush Museum shines. When you enter the museum, your first task will be to choose your character, RPG/Oregon Trail–style. You’ll then stock up on provisions and choose your route. There’s a lot to do in this small space, and the journey pairs particularly well with a pot lozenge. (SYDNEY BROWNSTONE)

Visit a Cool Building Featured on the Buildings of Seattle Instagram Account

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Buildings of Seattle is one of the best things to happen on Instagram. Founder Keith Cote created the account at the beginning of the pandemic, and he posts detailed but compressed descriptions of the homes, apartment buildings, and towers of our city. I did not know there was so much to say about Seattle’s architecture until I read the steady and never-disappointing stream of information on this feed of photos and words written in a style that is as informative as it is charming. It’s also noteworthy that Cote is not part of a movement, nor does he take sides with one architectural style over another. He only writes about what catches his eye during one of his many long walks around the city. Scroll through his Instagram feed, find a building that catches your eye, and read up on its history while paying it a visit.

(CHARLES MUDEDE)

Smith Tower

Arts & Culture

Only in Seattle Can You Scream in a Museum and Dance to Robyn at Church

Amazon. Grunge. Weed. Coffee. Visual art is probably pretty low on the list of things for which Seattle is known. And what a shame. Because Seattle’s art scene isn’t under a spotlight like New York or Los Angeles, artists here aren’t afraid to get a little weird, to take risks. Seattle’s best art spaces and installations are immersive and interactive. They invite you to join in—to touch, explore, gather, and scream your face off. (In more than one instance, actually!)

Stop Sleeping on Seattle’s Best Art Collection at the Seattle Asian Art Museum

CAPITOL HILL

The Seattle Asian Art Museum is one of the city’s most underrated assets. Previously closed for a three-year restoration, they set their reopening date just in time for the world to collapse into a pandemic. Since society is (sort of) back up and running, it’s time to visit this must-see collection. The gallery features a wide range of historic to contemporary art that is expertly curated, intermingling art from across different regions and time periods to compare and contrast overarching themes. There are countless brilliant and moving pieces in their permanent and rotating collections. See it now, lest it close again for upcoming seismic reasons.

(NICO SWENSON)

Scream Your Fucking Face Off at the Seattle Art Museum

DOWNTOWN

When strolling through the Seattle Art Museum, you’ll likely hear bloodcurdling screams echoing throughout the galleries. As you make your way past the startled docents through the museum’s new “recontextualized” American art collection, you’ll find those screams emanating from a little room featuring big neon letters that read: “I’VE COMPOSED A NEW AMERICAN NATIONAL ANTHEM / TAKE A KNEE AND SCREAM UNTIL YOU CAN’T BREATHE.”

On the floor, a grid of “Daisy Doormats” provides an ironic pad for your knees. The score and padding come courtesy of Nicholas Galanin’s Neon American Anthem (white). In the piece, Galanin, a multidisciplinary artist with Tlingit and Unangax̂ ancestry who works out of Alaska, ironically pairs the last words of so many Black victims of police brutality with the sunny products of capitalism and

patriotism, offering viewers a chance to scream in defiance of those systems and, for some, prove loud and clear that they’re still here despite the odds this country stacks against them. (RICH SMITH)

Don’t Kick the Pigeons at Pioneer Square’s First Thursday Art Walk

PIONEER

SQUARE

Once a month, Seattleites flock to the streets in Pioneer Square for a chance to stroll, sip on booze, and attend as many art openings as possible at First Thursday. It’s the city’s central and oldest art walk and takes place in a historic neighborhood known for its abundance of galleries. Free wine, cheese, and hobnobbing steal the scene for some, but at its core, it’s an impressive communal unveiling of new artwork. A few favorites include Greg Kucera Gallery, J. Rinehart Gallery, Stonington Gallery, SOIL, Koplin Del Rio, and Railspur, a “micro-district” specializing in contemporary pop art. A warning

Seattle Asian Art Museum

ANTHONY KEO

NOAH HAIDU, BUSTER WILLIAMS

AND LENNY WHITE TRIO

New York’s rising star pianist with jazz icons

celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Keith Jarrett’s great Standard Trio

TUE, MAY 21 - WED, MAY 22, 2024

AN EVENING WITH OTTMAR

LIEBERT AND LUNA NEGRA

Platinum selling 5X Grammy-nominated instrumental acoustic flamenco-style guitarist

THU, MAY 23 - SUN, MAY 26, 2024

CÉCILE MCLORIN

SALVANT QUARTET

3x Grammy winning imaginative and transcendent jazz singer

TUE, MAY 28 - WED, MAY 29, 2024

EMMET COHEN TRIO

Dynamic 30-year-old American Pianists Award winner and composer, one of his generations pivotal figures in music

THU, MAY 30 - SUN, JUN 2, 2024

TAKUYA KURODA

Internationally acclaimed trumpeter and composer zig-zags between post-bop, neo soul, hip-hop and electronica

TUE, JUN 4 - WED, JUN 5, 2024

MONTY ALEXANDER

CELEBRATING HIS 80TH & NEW ALBUM RELEASE

Pianist embraces a tribute to historical D-Day with his fresh spin on wartime songs

THU, JUN 6 - SUN, JUN 9, 2024

MARC SEALES QUARTET

WITH SPECIAL GUEST ERNIE WATTS

Post-bop jazz pianist and University of Washington professor with two-time Grammy winning saxophonist and all-star Seattle band

TUE, JUN 11 - WED, JUN 12, 2024

BILL FRISELL TRIO FEATURING

TONY SCHERR & RUDY ROYSTON

Hailed as one of the most distinctive and original improvising guitarists of our time

THU, JUN 13 - SUN, JUN 16, 2024

SPENCER DAY

#1 Billboard jazzy pop singer/songwriter with “cool jazz sensibilities and cleverly crafted tales.”

– The Washington Post

TUE, JUN 18- WED, JUN 19, 2024

GOGO PENGUIN

English emotive cinematic break-beat jazz/rock/pop trio

THU, JUN 20 - SUN, JUN 23, 2024

to first-timers: Pioneer Square’s pigeons DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. Those dummies prioritize whatever garbage they’re pecking at over their safety, and they have, through generations of pigeon evolution, adapted to humans walking around them. Watch where you step. (STRANGER STAFF)

Investigate Neukom Vivarium with a Magnifying Glass at Olympic Sculpture Park BELLTOWN

At the corner of Broad Street and Elliott Avenue in Belltown, a low-lit glass greenhouse shelters a living installation. Mark Dion’s biosystem Neukom Vivarium is built on the foundation of a Western hemlock “nurse log,” a fallen tree from the Green River watershed that now serves as a growing site for young native plants. Sword ferns, deciduous huckleberry, and even spruce trees have sprouted from the log, creating an intricate ecosphere. The entire project emphasizes just how complicated it is to support natural life, and it’s not necessarily meant to evoke warm fuzzies. It’s more of a memento mori work. (Dion told Art21, “This piece is in some way perverse. It shows that, despite all of our technology

CHLOE COLLYER

Neukom Vivarium

and money, when we destroy a natural system, it’s virtually impossible to get it back.”) (LINDSAY COSTELLO)

Soak in Seattle’s History at the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center

NORTH DELRIDGE

The history of the Duwamish people is the history of Seattle, and it’s an essential one. Duwamish Tribal Services, which has fought for the Duwamish people to be recognized as a tribe at both federal and state levels for decades, runs the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center at the mouth of the Duwamish River in South Seattle. The space was a collaboration between the Duwamish and architect Byron Barnes of Montana’s Blackfeet tribe in the style of a traditional Puget Salish longhouse. A gathering space, cultural center, and gallery, the Longhouse serves as a hub for the indigenous community that does incredible work for its members and for the Duwamish River Valley, where Duwamish Tribal Services lead environmental restoration, education initiatives, and so much more.

(KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Spend a Whole Day Exploring the Central Library

DOWNTOWN

There’s a free museum downtown boasting works by George Tsutakawa, Ann Hamilton, Tony Oursler, Lynne Yamamoto, and Frank Okada, and you can explore it floor by floor with a self-guided tour map. Thing is, the museum is actually Central Library, which is better, in my opinion, because you can leave with free books. Culture!!!

If I were you, I’d make a day of it—start on level 1 to scope Tsutakawa and Hamilton’s works, then move up to level 4 for a truly eerie experience on the Red Floor, which is bloodied with 13 shades of red paint on the walls, ceiling, floors, and stairs. Jump up to level 10, the highest public viewpoint in the library, to spot Yamamoto and Okada pieces among collections of local Seattle history.

(LINDSAY COSTELLO)

Ask “Is the Room Spinning or Is She?” at the Pink Door

PIKE PLACE MARKET

The Pink Door is a classy Italian restaurant tucked into Pike Place Market. There is no signage, just a (you guessed it) pink door in an alley. I’m convinced that a table at

CODY MARTIN

Central Library

the Pink Door is the hardest reservation to get in this town—especially on Saturdays and Tuesdays. Saturdays make sense, but Tuesdays?? It’s because there are aerialists who perform basically right above the tables on Saturdays and Tuesdays. It’s incredible. You can sip a negroni, eat clam pasta, and watch a sexy performance happening IN THE AIR. All of it feels like you’re in a time when circus performers were celebrities and the best party in town was at a table directly below a woman spinning in a large ring.

(RACHEL STEVENS)

Play With Pop Culture at MoPOP

SEATTLE CENTER

Museum of Pop Culture (MoPOP, formerly known as the Experience Music Project) is filled with interesting nerd matters about rock ‘n’ roll music (the only major art form that routinely denies being an art form), science fiction, games, and such like. In any other city, MoPOP would be a cherished weirdo sanctuary. In Seattle, it’s a problem because it was started by Paul Allen, who was a local billionaire. Don’t be deterred. If you like that sort of thing, you’ll like it a lot.

(SEAN NELSON)

See a Show—Literally Any Show—at On the Boards UPTOWN

The city’s home for all things contemporary performance is basically never a bad idea—forward thinkers like Nia-Amina Minor, Anna Luisa Petrisko, Jaha Koo, Will Rawls, and Takahiro Yamamoto have woven liminal narratives there in recent years, and the performance roster is always stacked. With modest beginnings renting space at Washington Hall from then-owners the Sons of Haiti, OtB has expanded into the Behnke Center for Contemporary Performance, its current Uptown location, with consistently sold-out spectacles of improvisational dance, experimental drag, and more. Head there to stretch your perceptions. (LINDSAY COSTELLO)

Sweat It Out at Dance Church

VARIOUS

LOCATIONS

Dance Church immediately inspires curiosity with its culty name, which was coined when Seattle dancers Kate Wallich and Lavinia Vago started a small Sunday morning dance party in 2010. Today, that humble gathering has blossomed into a full-fledged movement with a presence in six cities and an online

Museum of Pop Culture

SUMMER AT CENTRUM

Rhiannon Giddens

streaming platform. A professional dancer leads the group in loose choreography to an upbeat pop soundtrack, and participants are encouraged to move their bodies joyfully. There’s just something ineffably cathartic about being crammed in a room with 200 sweaty strangers, grooving your heart out to “Call Your Girlfriend”—devotees report being moved to tears, especially at the end when the collective clasps hands together in a circle. Frankly, I can’t imagine a better endorphin-fueled start to a weekend morning. (JULIANNE BELL)

Prioritize the Chocolate Popcorn at SIFF Cinema

DOWNTOWN

Seattle’s Cinerama theater—one of the only Cinerama theaters left in the country—finally reopened its doors in December after abruptly closing in February 2020. Late billionaire Paul Allen famously saved the theater from demolition in the late ’90s and spent millions of bucks restoring it to its mid-century glory. Local film org SIFF bought the theater from Allen’s estate in 2023, and while rights to the Cinerama name were not a part of the sale—hence the

new basic bitch moniker—SIFF was at least able to bring back the famous chocolate popcorn, for which Cinerama was loved. It makes the whole theater smell like hot Cocoa Puffs! Get a 50/50 mix of chocolate and buttered popcorn and swear off seeing movies in any other chocolate-popcornless theater again. (MEGAN SELING)

Worship, You Heathens, at St. Mark’s Cathedral

CAPITOL HILL

Seattle is thankfully the least religious “large metro area in the US,” and I count myself among its godless horde. But I do know beauty and pleasure when I see it and hear it, and watching robed choristers singing

ancient songs of devotion into the echoing chambers of St. Mark’s Cathedral counts as one of the more beautiful and pleasurable experiences this city—and this life—has to offer. The Compline Choir, as they’re called, sings for half an hour every Sunday at 9:30 pm, unless that Sunday falls on Christmas. Despite its holy environs, it’s a real casual community affair. People lay out blankets on the altar, stare up at the huge timber pillars holding up the gorgeous and accidentally postmodern building, and listen to the voices of heaven quiet the week.

(RICH SMITH)

Educate the Masses All Over the City

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

On a hot girl walk around a neighborhood of single-family homes you’ll never be able to afford, you will likely stumble across a Little Free Library. Personally, I have never borrowed from such a library, not because I don’t want to, but because it’s always some Nora Roberts shit. Start putting communist propaganda in those things! I want to see handmade zines and pamphlets and annotated copies of The Communist Manifesto (HANNAH KRIEG)

ASHLEY KIM

Shut Up at Read at a Silent Reading Party

FIRST HILL

Invented by a former editor at The Stranger, the reading party takes place every first and third Wednesday of the month at 7:30 pm. The Fireside Room at the Sorrento Hotel goes quiet and fills with people. Everyone brings whatever they feel like reading and sits there and reads, silently, to themselves, while waiters bring them things and Paul Matthew Moore plays piano softly and exquisitely. He’s amazing. You can reserve a seat at silentreadingparty.com.

(RICH SMITH)

Then Educate Yourself at Town Hall

FIRST HILL

I’ve lost count of how many events I’ve seen at Town Hall over the years, but one thing I do know: Every time I leave, I leave smarter than when I arrived. Just this year, I heard the brilliant Hanif Abdurraqib discuss his approach to pop culture criticism (be curious, not cynical!) and listened in while Sloane Crosley talked about life and death and her latest book, Grief Is for People, with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie. Town

Hall’s summer calendar is stacked with intellectual superstars, too, including Miranda July, the Bushwick Book Club performing music inspired by Moby Dick, and Kathleen Hanna in conversation with celebrated local author (and former Stranger writer!) Lindy West. (MEGAN SELING)

Find Your Inner Pinball Wizard at the Seattle Pinball Museum

CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

Twenty-three bucks gets you unlimited play at the best all-ages gaming space in all of Seattle, and its 50-plus pins spread the wealth between historical relics, flashy ‘80s tables, and the modern-day pinball resurgence. I recommend the rock ‘n’ roll table playlist: Guns N’ Roses, KISS, Wizard! (featuring The Who), and not one but two Elton John tables. Tip: The SPM is kind of cramped, so don’t be afraid to take a break after 30–45 minutes, enjoy nearby International District delights (boba tea, dim sum, those amazing Korean hot dogs on a stick), and come back (re-entry is free) refreshed and ready for more Elton-themed pinball. If you’re over 21, you

Silent Reading Party

Third Generation Violin Maker

“Voted Evening Magazine’s Best of Western WA!”

www.kirklandviolins.com (425)822-0717 Sales Appraisals Repairs Rentals

Author Event at Lake Forest Park

ROBIN SLOAN

Moonbound: A Novel

Wed 6/12 at 7pm

have additional options with drinks and games at Seattle’s four best arcade bars: Coindexter’s (Greenwood), Jupiter Bar (Belltown), Add-a-Ball (Fremont), and Time Warp (Capitol Hill). Each has unique, cool shit to play; if you need our prodding, we’re big fans of the weird Bishi Bashi cabs at Coindexter’s. (SAM MACHKOVECH)

Bliss Out (Or Have an Existential Crisis) in the James Turrell Skyspace at the Henry Art Gallery

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

Light Reign was unveiled to the public more than 20 years ago, so if you haven’t spent a few moments meditating in the Henry’s permanent illuminated work, you’re long overdue. Everyone from Quakers to artists and performers have made use of the space, which the light-loving artist James Turrell designed with minimalist bench seating and an aperture-like oculus in the ceiling, revealing a hint of sky. When there’s rain or snow in the forecast, a dome rolls into place over the oculus and emits a celestial glow. The Skyspace’s frosted glass perimeter is also programmed with LED lights that shift in color throughout the day. For heightened

effect, Light Reign is a piece to form a relationship with—I recommend visiting once a season to see how your experience shifts. (LINDSAY COSTELLO)

Catch an Indie Flick at One of Seattle’s Many Art House Theaters

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Seattle is truly a bounty of riches if you’re wanting to go see a film that you likely wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else. The Northwest Film Forum (NWFF) has a whole bunch of thoughtful programming, films both old and new, and some lovely little theaters in which to experience these exciting cinematic visions. The historic Grand Illusion is still kicking ass on a single screen while navigating tough times—they show everything from inventive new works to classic genre fare and beyond. Then there is the Beacon, which also operates with a single screen and boundless imagination, often showing films that fit week- or month-long themes. You truly can’t go wrong with any of these distinct gems. (CHASE HUTCHINSON)

Find more culture news and art reviews at thestranger.com!

Henry Art Museum

LARA SWIMMER

Food & Drink

The Best Side of Seattle Is Waiting for You at the Hot Dog Cart

It’s true that Seattleites can come off as shy at best and emotionally unavailable to a clinical degree at worst. The Cascadia subduction zone has taunted us all our lives, reminding us that our time on Earth is finite. Is it any wonder we haven’t bothered with human connection? But there is one surefire way to soften our stiff exteriors: Food. Something happens when we convene in the waiting area of a favorite brunch spot or stand in line to buy a hot dog slathered with cream cheese at 2 am. We talk to one another. We bond over steaming bowls of pho and burritos the size of babies and slices of cakes that are so expertly crafted, they’re worth the 30-plus-minute wait. If you want to find the best version of Seattle, start with really good food.

Devour a Burrito as Big as a Baby at Gorditos Healthy Mexican GREENWOOD

I am a lifelong vegetarian, which means that my diet consists primarily of burritos. So, believe me when I say that trying a new burrito place is risky. For one, you never know how big your meal is going to be—I won’t name any names, but I’ve been disappointed by a meek six-inch-tortilla burrito before. That’s why I appreciate the genius marketing that is Gorditos’s “baby burrito.” No, it’s not a burrito made for a baby, but rather a burrito that is the size of an actual infant (see for yourself—the restaurant is plastered in photos of newborns beside their foil-wrapped counterparts). Plus, there are so many vegetarian fillings

beyond the standard fajita veggies—tofu, fried potatoes, scrambled eggs, avocado, steamed vegetables... the list goes on! There’s also meat—your choice of chicken, steak, and pork—if you’re into that kind of thing. (AUDREY VANN)

Deep-Throat a Seattle Dog at 2 am (or Anytime, Really)

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

One might pause before deep-throating a hot dog slathered in cream cheese and onions at 2 am, but if you haven’t had a Seattle Dog then you’re truly missing out on the best food option for your drunken night out. Concentrated along the curbs of popular nightlife areas like Capitol Hill, these hot dog stands feed the masses in both vegetarian and carnivorous forms. (A couple favorites include Monster Dogs and Dante’s Inferno Dogs.) I can’t guarantee

our Northwestern ways won’t upset your stomach, but if we’re all going to die in a giant earthquake, it’s worth checking this delicacy off your bucket list despite any aftershocks. (NICO SWENSON)

Dine at the Bar at Canlis NORTH QUEEN ANNE

Contrary to conventional belief, you don’t have to drop $400 to enjoy this stunning and historic Seattle institution. Turns out, you can just show up and sit at the bar. Established in 1950, Peter Canlis and his family created a restaurant that’s known across time and space for its hospitality, creativity, quality, and sheer voluptuousness, and they have a whole swimming pool of James Beard awards to show for it. Anyway, the lounge is right next to the entrance, totally separate from dining, and you can just go. Canlis has loosened the dress code since the dotcom boom, when all the millionaires were 22 and couldn’t be pried from their gravy-stained Linux T-shirts, but you should make an effort. Put on some decent shoes and maybe a jacket, tell the host you’d like to be seated in the bar, and order a drink and the emblematic Canlis salad. A nod to the Canlis family’s Mediterranean roots, it comprises romaine, preposterously high-quality bacon, cherry toms, scallions, fresh mint and oregano, shredded Romano, an eggy-lemony Caesarean dressing, and the most incredible mind-bending croutons that’ve been fried in the acorn-fed, shade-grown bacon fat. Eat yer salad, nurse your drink, and listen to the pianist, who was playing “Poker Face” the last time I was there. Damn, look at you. You eat at Canlis. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Chomp on Grasshoppers at a Mariners Game

SODO

There are Mariners fans and then there are Mariners fans who eat grasshoppers. I’m not telling you which one to be, but I’m telling you that when your ballpark is one of two ballparks in the country (the Oakland Coliseum is the other) that sells chili-lime grasshoppers, you take pride in that weirdness. Toasted grasshoppers, or chapulines, are a common and beloved dish in parts of

Mexico—especially Oaxaca. Edgar’s Cantina in T-Mobile Park, named after Seattle Mariners Hall of Famer Edgar Martínez, sells chapulines and many games sell out of these delicious little bugs before the first pitch is even thrown. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Taste the Original Teriyaki at Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill

VARIOUS LOCATIONS AND MILL CREEK

Comprised of sticky-sweet glazed chicken thighs, mounds of steamed white rice, and that little cup of crunchy iceberg salad in a creamy sesame sauce, Seattle-style teriyaki is the city’s unofficial comfort food. In 2010, The New York Times declared the local dish the Emerald City equivalent of a Chicago dog. We can thank Toshi Kasahara, who founded Seattle’s first teriyaki restaurant in 1976, for that—Kasahara popularized a sweeter, more syrupy style of the Japanese specialty. Find the ubiquitous staple at any of the teriyaki shops dotting the region—a few favorites include Mikou Teriyaki in Georgetown, Choice Deli & Grocery in Ballard, Nasai Teriyaki in the University District, and Teriyaki Madness, which has multiple locations—or make a pilgrimage to Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill in Mill Creek to try the original. (JULIANNE BELL)

Order Literally Anything at Fuji Bakery

INTERBAY AND CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT Fuji Bakery is the place where any order is right. Their spread is dazzling: sugar-dusted malasadas overflowing with sweet gobs

STEVEN WEISSMAN

MEGAN SELING

THE TIN TABLE

COCKTAILS • FOOD • FRIENDS

5-10, WED-SAT • 915 E Pine St, 2nd Fl • Capitol Hill

FriedChicken PopUp

2ndTuesday ofthemonth!

of matcha or ube cream, crispy chicken katsu or egg salad sandwiches made with fat slices of fresh-baked milk bread, deep golden croissants, custardy canelés, and more. I found Fuji (or Fuji found me) shortly after moving to Seattle three years ago, and in that time, I’ve tried nearly everything without disappointment, but the unassuming milk stick, a plain-looking chewy loaf sliced down the middle and slathered with a pillowy sweet cream filling, has emerged as my favorite. At no fault of Fuji’s, parking at its main bakery in Interbay is unwieldy, but worth braving. If you’re in the Chinatown–International District, check out the walk-up storefront on King Street. (VIVIAN MCCALL)

Sip Seattle History at Monorail Espresso

VARIOUS LOCATIONS DOWNTOWN

Monorail Espresso has a plucky Old Seattle vibe and likes to remind people that it was slinging coffee in Seattle “since 1980 B.S. [before Starbucks].” Their origin story is slightly debatable—Charred-bucks actually opened a few blocks away from the first Monorail Espresso cart in 1971. Fuck Starbucks, though—many locals avoid the chain, partly due to their anti-worker and union-busting ways. What Monorail Espresso undoubtedly DID coin first is their signature burnt cream latte, and you absolutely must try one if ever you find yourself in the downtown grid before closing time. (They have five locations scattered throughout, but they all close by 5 pm, sometimes sooner). The recipe for this smooth, custardy, not-too-sweet confection is an ancient Seattle mystery, so we can only guess what elixirs are in there. Suffice it to say that Monorail’s Arabica house roast is strong but never bitter, the foam is like cashmere, and the deep, rich flavors of slightly scorched brown sugar, butter, and toffee will envelop your orbitofrontal cortex like a jaunty scarf for the rest of the day. Uh, a cashmere one.

(MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Tuck into Tacos Inside an Old Bus at Tacos El Asadero

COLUMBIA CITY

Sure, you’ve heard of a taco truck, but have you ever eaten tacos inside a revamped vintage bus? That’s exactly what you’ll find at this hidden Columbia City gem, which has been around since 2006. Park yourself on a seat at the cramped but cozy bus’s metal counter and tuck into tacos, burritos, que-

sadillas, tortas, mulitas, or sopitos, stuffed with succulent lengua, birria, carnitas, asada, or adobada. (Outdoor covered seating is also available for the claustrophobic.) This experience, paired with an afternoon viewing at the Beacon Cinema (just a short 15-minute walk away), is my idea of a perfect solo date.

(JULIANNE BELL)

Pretend You’re in France at Le Pichet

PIKE PLACE MARKET

As I was thinking about my favorite things to do in Seattle, a lot of the activities ended up being some form of “pretend to be French.” Carry around a freshly baked baguette at the farmers market! Buy flowers and smell them cartoonishly while looking at a body of water! Wear ballet flats in very bad weather! The Frenchest possible thing to do, however, is go to Le Pichet, just a whisper away from Pike Place Market (the ideal location for all above behaviors). Le Pichet, a staple since 2000 by a former chef at Campagne, is the closest Pacific Northwest equivalent to sipping rosé at lunch in the Luberon. Everything about the cafe is classic, from the daily charcuterie and fromage specials on the blackboard to the herbaceous salads and unctuous onion soup to the multiple sizes of pichets (pitchers) of wine to the sturdy little coupes you’ll probably spill a little bit anyway, as you people watch on a sunny afternoon.

(KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Cozy Up with a Cuppa at the Historic Panama Hotel Tea & Coffee House

Founded in 1910 (and built by Japanese American architect Sabro Ozasa), the Panama Hotel was once home to many of the city’s original Japanese immigrants, and the woman-owned Chinatown–International District institution still houses the belongings of formerly incarcerated Japanese Americans. (Just ask an employee about the old luggage stored beneath the Plexiglas floor.) Panama Hotel also contains the last remaining Japanese bathhouse, or sento, in the United States—it’s nonoperational but still has its original tiling and pre-war advertisements. These days, the hotel’s sweet little teahouse is lined with historical photos of Nihonmachi (Japantown), and you can still book an old-school room overnight to travel back in time. Don’t pass up a chance to pet the resident kitty, Miu-Miu.

(LINDSAY COSTELLO)

Take a Hit of Cristal at La Dive CAPITOL HILL

For stoners who want a drink but can’t get the hang of consuming substances from a traditional glass, never fear—the champagne bong is here. At the cool Capitol Hill wine bar La Dive, you can sip champagne from a flute with a stem that looks sort of melted and works as a gravity-activated straw, of sorts, allowing you to suck up your bubbly faster and smoother, like smoke through ice. Careful, though—the champagne still makes you drunk, not high.

(ASHLEY NERBOVIG)

Sit at Bruce Lee’s Table at Tai Tung Chinese Restaurant

CHINATOWN-INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

Before he was an internationally renowned martial arts superstar, Bruce Lee was just a college kid in Seattle, and his favorite dish was the beef in oyster sauce from Tai Tung—today the city’s oldest Chinese restaurant, founded in 1935. Reportedly, Lee was such a devoted regular that he didn’t even have to order—he’d just sit down at his favorite corner table and the servers would bring him his food. Pay a visit to the local treasure to dine like the “Little Dragon” himself. Charismatic third-generation owner Harry Chan will greet you with a smile, and you’ll see that Lee’s entree of choice is still a banger, swimming in savory-sweet sauce. (He was also a fan of the garlic shrimp, so order that for extra credit.) Follow up your pilgrimage with a visit to the Be Water, My Friend exhibit at Wing Luke Museum—

it’s just a block away—to learn more about Lee’s life. (JULIANNE BELL)

Split a Slice of Cake at Deep Sea Sugar & Salt GEORGETOWN

The line for Deep Sea Sugar & Salt cake shop can stretch down the street on sunny weekends. Go there anyway. Charlie Dunmire’s cake empire lives up to the hype, with a rotating menu of about a dozen different cakes and cupcakes on any given day, and there’s not a single dud in the bunch. You’d be wise to take a friend and split some slices for maximum menu sampling. The lemon layer cake has a tart citrus bite that will tickle your parotids; the s’mores and key lime cakes wear caps of puffy, fluffy meringue with peaks reaching out and just begging to be plucked with a finger. One surprising mainstay is the London Fog. With Earl Grey cake, honey and Earl Grey syrup, bergamot mascarpone cream, and tangy cream cheese frosting, it sounds like it would be flowery and herbal, right? Somehow, thanks to Dumire’s wizardry, the combination of flavors surpasses the expectations of the individual parts, and it tastes like sophisticated Froot Loops.

(MEGAN SELING)

Dominate the 12-Egg Omelette at Beth’s Cafe GREEN LAKE

If you think you’ve got what it takes to go toe to toe with a truly formidable food challenge, say hello to the famous 12-egg omelette at one of Seattle’s most iconic haunts, Beth’s Cafe. This mountain of

KELLY O

a meal is served with all-you-can-eat hashbrowns and your choice of toast, and it’s so intense that back in 2009, Man v. Food host Adam Richman couldn’t finish the damn thing. Thankfully, they also serve up a more manageable six-egg version, and their late-night weekend hours (they’re open til 4 am Friday and Saturday) provide a perfect end to a night of hard partying. The city’s breakfast options looked bleak when Beth’s was forced to close for more than a year during the pandemic, but Seattleites rejoiced when the greasy spoon reopened in 2023, bringing their massive meals with them. (KEVIN DIERS)

Enjoy Eggs That Bleed Without All the Cruelty at Life on Mars

CAPITOL HILL

Don’t forget your cell phone, because this is one of those dishes where the camera eats first. Life on Mars is a plant-based, music-themed bar and restaurant located on the corner of East Pike Street and Harvard Avenue, and their Benny & the Jets dish—available during Saturday and Sunday brunch—is a completely vegan eggs benedict. And they’re not cheating with some half-assed turmeric-covered tofu patty. No, Life on Mars uses Yo Egg, made of chickpea and soybean protein, to very successfully mimic the photogenic bleeding yolk of a poached egg. As a vegetarian, I do have to warn you that it’s not an exact dupe, but it reaches an itch that vegans otherwise cannot scratch. (HANNAH KRIEG)

Indulge in a Fancy AF Burger at Gainsbourg

GREENWOOD

A great burger is, of course, a core litmus test of a city’s restaurant scene, and Seattle’s got a stacked roster when it comes to burgerball. The MVP among them is in Greenwood, at French-ish bar/bistro Gainsbourg. The Gainsbourger is equal parts lamb and beef, grilled and served simply on thick brioche with caramelized onion confit, a smear of dijon mustard, and house gherkins on the side, and it is succulent Everybody knows about this luxurious lamburger because you can get it à la carte during happy hour (all day on Mondays!) for $7, less than half price! But it’s somehow even better with Gainsbourg’s skinny, crisp duck fat frites, accompanied by housemade ketchup and aioli, so if it’s happy hour, tack those guys on. You gotta. And it doesn’t need it, but if you wanna go all out, adding a fried egg and a slice of Gruyère cheese to the Gainsbourger punts this thing into the fricking stratosphere. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Then Eat the Burger Your Inner Child Craves at Loretta’s Northwesterner SOUTH PARK

Loretta’s Tavern Burger’s ingenuity lies in how simple it is: beef, melted cheese, pickles, onion, special sauce, bun. The beef is charbroiled to smoky perfection, the cheese cheeses, the alliance between the pickles and onion is holy, and the toasted bun holds it all up. It tastes exactly the way

Life on Mars

Chomp on Grasshoppers at a Mariners

❒ Bliss Out (Or Have an Existential Crisis) in the James Turrell Skyspace at the Henry Art Gallery

❒ Scream Your Fucking Face O at the Seattle Art Museum

❒ Don’t Kick the Pigeons at Pioneer Square’s First Thursday Art Walk ❒ Soak in Seattle’s History at the Duwamish Longhouse and Cultural Center

Worship,

Taste the Original Teriyaki at Toshi’s Teriyaki Grill

Tuck into Tacos Inside an Old Bus at Tacos El Asadero

❒ People-Watch with a Boozy Slushie at Rachel’s Ginger Beer

❒ Fight over a Flight at Molly HomemadeMoon’s Ice Cream

Investigate Neukom Vivarium with a Magnifying Glass at SculptureOlympic

Then Eat the Burger Your Inner Child Craves at Loretta’s Northwesterner

Ballard

Experience Seattle’s Best Salmon Sandwich at Local Tide ❒ Crunch into a Ru es Potato Chip Treat at Little Jaye ❒ Savor World-Class Sushi (and Try Geoduck If You Must) at Maneki ❒ Feast on Expertly Fried Fish at Emerald City Fish and Chips

& Landmarks

Get High and Go to the Seattle Aquarium

Have a Picnic at the Hats ’n’ Boots at Oxbow

See Where That Person Got Abducted in Malignant

Stand on the Space Needle’s Glass Floor

Cozy Up with a Cuppa at the Historic Panama Hotel Tea & Co ee House

Take a Hit of Cristal at La Dive

99THINGS TO DO BIG ONE TAKES THE US ALL BEFORE

WELCOME TO SEATTLE

A

Neighborhood

Guide to the Best City in America

Ballard

KNOWN FOR: A mix of classic, seagoing, Scandinavian Seattle with hipster breweries and upscale bars. CHECK OUT: The huge Sunday Ballard Farmers Market, the Nordic Museum, the fish ladders at the Ballard Locks, and sunsets at Golden Gardens Park.

Queen Anne/Uptown

KNOWN FOR: Old, beautiful homes on Queen Anne Hill, stairs (so many stairs), and proximity to the Space Needle. CHECK OUT: A stunning view of the skyline from Kerry Park, art-house movies at SIFF Cinema Uptown, and Seattle Kraken and Seattle Storm games at Climate Pledge Arena.

Seattle Center

KNOWN FOR: The Space Needle and the monorail. CHECK OUT: Nirvana and horror film exhibits at the Museum of Pop Culture, the Chihuly Garden and Glass museum, live music at the Vera Project, radio station KEXP, local food in the Armory, and Pacific Northwest Ballet and Seattle Opera performances.

Belltown

KNOWN FOR: Trendy bars, shops, clubs, and restaurants. CHECK OUT: Art installations and Puget Sound views from the Olympic Sculpture Park, live music and comedy at the Crocodile, and bars like Shorty’s (with a pinball arcade) and the James Beard Award-nominated speakeasy Phòcific Standard Time.

Downtown

KNOWN FOR: Being declared “dead” by mainstream media, skyscraper o ce buildings, and proximity to Pike Place Market. CHECK OUT: The architectural gem of the Central Library, the Seattle Art Museum, the view from the 40th floor of the Columbia Center (tickets required), art space Base Camp Studios, and Pike Place Market.

Waterfront

KNOWN FOR: Tourists and seafood restaurants. CHECK OUT: The Seattle Great Wheel, the family-friendly Seattle Aquarium, and the quirky Ye Olde Curiosity Shop.

Bainbridge Island

KNOWN FOR: Easy day trips on the ferry for a taste of smalltown, laid-back life. CHECK OUT: James Beard Award finalist Hitchcock, the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art, and the 150-acre Bloedel Reserve garden.

West Seattle

KNOWN FOR: Its relaxed, beachy vibe and being hard to get to, except by riding the water taxi. CHECK OUT: Alki Beach Park, the view from Hawaiian-Korean taco joint Marination Ma Kai (get the Sexy Tofu Tacos!), and in-store performances at Easy Street Records.

Fremont

KNOWN FOR: Referring to itself as the Center of the Universe, lots of hippies, and the Solstice Parade / naked bike ride in June. CHECK OUT: Public art like the Fremont Troll and the Statue of Lenin (which is actually privately owned, but shh), the nearly 20-mile Burke-Gilman Trail through the city, and year-round flea market goodies at the Fremont Sunday Market.

Wallingford/Green Lake/Phinney Ridge

KNOWN FOR: Residential neighborhoods with cute shops and restaurants, and easy access to the outdoors. CHECK OUT: Gas Works Park on Lake Union, the Archie McPhee joke shop in Wallingford, the trail around Green Lake Park, and the summer concert series at the Woodland Park Zoo.

University District

KNOWN FOR: The sprawling, Gothic University of Washington campus, and vintage shops and cheap restaurants along University Way (known as “the Ave”). CHECK OUT: The Henry Art Gallery and Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture, the impressive University Book Store, handmade noodles at Xi’an Noodles, and live music at Neptune Theatre.

Pioneer Square

South Lake Union

KNOWN FOR: Amazon’s headquarters, waterfront bars and restaurants, and houseboats. CHECK OUT: The plant-filled Amazon Spheres, the Museum of History & Industry, the street food-filled South Lake Union Saturday Market, and rowboat rentals from the Center for Wooden Boats.

Capitol Hill

KNOWN FOR: Bars and music venues that come alive at night, rainbow-painted crosswalks and gay bars, and beautiful old mansions. CHECK OUT: The cedarshelved Elliott Bay Book Company, the trendy shops, bars, and restaurants at Chophouse Row, live music at Neumos, and walks in Volunteer Park.

KNOWN FOR: Being Seattle’s oldest neighborhood, plus brick buildings housing art galleries and restaurants. CHECK OUT: The Underground Tour, the monthly First Thursday art walk, the Smith Tower observatory, and the Waterfall Garden Park and Occidental Park.

Central District

KNOWN FOR: Its history as the hub of the city’s African American community and close proximity to Lake Washington. CHECK OUT: The Northwest African American Museum, Ethiopian restaurants like Meskel and Cafe Selam, and classic movies with table service at Central Cinema.

Chinatown-International District

KNOWN FOR: Amazing Asian American cuisine and cultural institutions (and The Stranger o ces!). CHECK OUT: The Asian supermarket Uwajimaya, the Wing Luke Museum, Fuji Bakery, and the drool-worthy Dough Zone Dumpling House.

Sodo/Georgetown

KNOWN FOR: An industrial background, and Safeco Field (where the Mariners play) and Lumen Field (where the Sounders, OL Reign, and the Seahawks play). CHECK OUT: The Fantagraphics Bookstore & Gallery, the Hat ’n’ Boots sculptures at Oxbow Park, and the factory where Obama’s favorite Fran’s Chocolates are made.

Columbia City

KNOWN FOR: Having wonderfully diverse communities with great food and music. CHECK OUT: The James Beard Award semifinalist Columbia City Bakery, community co ee shop the Station, and live music at the Royal Room and Clock-Out Lounge (both of which have excellent food, too).

&Drink

I remember burgers tasting when I was a child—slightly greasy, but refreshing and supremely filling. The burger pairs well with a beer (duh), their fries, and a hockey game played on mute at the back of the bar. (JAS KEIMIG)

Drink Beer for Blocks in Ballard BALLARD

Are you on your way to Fremont Brewing’s local physical location, because you’ve seen their beers in local grocery stores? Get off the bus, tap your designated driver’s shoulder, or tuck and roll out of your rideshare car. Fremont cofounder Sara Nelson, who sold her controlling stake in April 2024 when she became the city council president, has since been a governance disaster and minimum-wage combatant on our city council, so we don’t condone supporting anything affiliated with her, and you can do better beer-wise, anyway. Seattle’s edge-of-Ballard stumble-block is legit, stretching from Northwest 54th Street and 17th Avenue Northwest to Northwest 49th Street and 8th Avenue Northwest, with roughly a dozen breweries to choose from—and most of these encourage dining at neighboring food trucks during prime hours. Reuben’s Brews and Stoup Brewing are the neighborhood’s gold standards in terms of award-winning concoctions, drinking variety (from

sticky-icky IPAs to smooth pilsners), and cozy indoor and outdoor seating, while Urban Family Brewing Company is Seattle’s utmost sour beer source. The rest are also worth the hit to your liver: Lucky Envelope Brewing for hop-forward delights, Obec Brewing for creative takes on European standards like the English Bitter, and Old Stove Brewing Company’s new Ballard location for a substantial beer garden and a solid BBQ food menu.

(SAM MACHKOVECH)

Experience Seattle’s Best Salmon Sandwich at Local Tide

FREMONT

There is no question of the Indigenous cultures that have flourished in close friendship with salmon, and the marvel of frothing river tops in seasons of migration. From the Tulalip to the Chinook, the tribes along the Pacific Coast have over millennia echoed in resplendent communion with their natural collaborators. The team at Local Tide approaches their salmon cuts—cured, slow-poached, and dissected into filets by tracing the natural grain of the fish—almost like artisans approaching a virgin piece of uncarved wood. Topped with pickled onions and placed in between toasted slices of brioche, there is simply nothing bad I could say about the Salmon Sando at the elevated Fremont fish counter. (ANN GUO)

Local Tide

Crunch into a Ruffles Potato Chip Treat at Little Jaye

SOUTH PARK

One of Seattle’s best bakeries is tucked away in a quiet area of South Park, off the beaten path and easy to overlook. Do not. Chef and baker Charlie Garrison makes some of the best baked goods you’ll ever put in your mouth. There are trays of golden biscuits wearing crowns of raspberry, strawberry, and apricot jam, and tender Shokupan doughnuts overstuffed with chocolate and vanilla cream. Next to rows of big-ass cookies dotted with M&Ms, peanut butter chips, and Heath candy bits sit stacks of marshmallowy crispy treats. And we’re not talking about your basic back-of-the-box recipe to please picky kids. Garrison’s crispy treats are the size of bricks and loaded with a rainbow of cereals and stir-ins—Cocoa Krispies, Fruity Pebbles, Golden Grahams, freeze-dried marshmallows, chocolate chunks, and pretzels. The star of the show is the crispy treat made entirely of crunched-up Ruffles potato chips. The chips are thick enough to hold their own in the marshmallow bath, making for a decadent salty-sweet, crispy-crunchy marvel.

(MEGAN SELING)

Grab a To-Go Hombow at Mee Sum Pastry

PIKE PLACE MARKET AND THE UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

A hombow from Mee Sum Pastry is the OG broke-joke Seattle snack. It used to be that they only made the barbecue pork one, but curry beef, chicken ‘n’ mushroom, and veggie versions were eventually added, and they’re all pretty nice. For my money, though, the classic barbecue pork is The One—something about how the liquid fat from the pork and the red, umami-heavy char siu barbecue

sauce mixes with the steamy, slightly sweet Chinese roll. The chewy edges of the meat, the delicate crust of the bread, and the pillowy texture. A singular and specific heaven.

(MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Savor World-Class Sushi (and Try Geoduck If You Must) at Maneki

CHINATOWN-INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

Newcomers may not know that, although our city is pretty fucking white, Seattle’s Japanese American community has been in town almost as long as any other group of settlers—the first wave of emigrants arrived from Japan in 1880—and is a crucial part of our culinary psyche. Opening in 1904 and named for the maneki-neko, the beckoning cat figurine that apocryphally brings good luck to its owner, Maneki is the oldest sushi restaurant in the nation, and it’s been a paragon of Japanese cuisine in the US for 120 years. The original building mimicked a Japanese castle, it had private tatami rooms, the servers wore kimono, and the restaurant could seat 500. But during WWII, when its owners were forcibly interned in camps, the building was vandalized and ransacked. Lucky for us, the restaurant reopened half a block away in 1946, with new tatami rooms. Currently owned by former server Jean Nakayama, Maneki’s known by locals as the untouristy spot for world-class sushi (sorry, Shiro). If you ARE a tourist, you can famously eat geoduck here, a PNW delicacy that’s honestly just a big expensive clam shaped like a dick. But like everything else on the menu, Maneki styles it expertly, sauteing it with mushrooms, butter, and chili. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Mee Sum Pastry

Fight over a Flight at Molly Moon’s Homemade Ice Cream

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

You’re gonna wanna try everything on the menu at Molly Moon’s Homemade Ice Cream—staples include salted caramel, honey lavender, mocha chip, oatmeal cookie dough, and Yeti, a sweet cream ice cream base dotted with crunchy granola, swirls of vanilla bean caramel, and chocolate chunks. And the shop’s seasonal selections—loaded with everything from fresh fruits to locally sourced candy bits to hunks of fresh-baked cakes and cookies— are even more impressive! So you could go down the line and ask for a sample of every flavor on those tiny spoons—they will do that for you, they are very nice—or you could live out your Ziggy Piggy dreams with the shop’s infamous ice cream flight, a big bowl stuffed with mini scoops of every single flavor on the menu. That’s 15 scoops total! It is not for the weak. It is meant to be shared. Bring a friend or five and have fun fighting over who gets the last little melty bit of their mint brownie flavor. (MEGAN SELING)

People-Watch with a Boozy Slushie at Rachel’s Ginger Beer

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

I’m a lightweight and I typically don’t drink much, but when you give me the ability to make my own dark and stormy with caramelized pineapple ginger beer from Rachel’s Ginger Beer, it’s game over. There are four Rachel Ginger Beer shops around town, including Capitol Hill, University Village, the Amazon spheres in South Lake Union, and their flagship shop at Pike Place Market, and they all allow you to create your cocktail of choice (with or without alcohol) using any of their home-brewed ginger beer flavors as a base. (The current menu includes blood orange, white peach, pink guava, mango, and blackcurrant.) All locations have good indoor and outdoor seating (and Seattle has an open container law, so you’ll have to enjoy

your drink there), but if you go the boozefree route, you can grab your concoction to go and make your way to another prime people-watching (read: tourist-watching) location. If you’re at Pike Place, I recommend the tables outside the north arcade by Old Stove, the Harbor Steps, or, if you’re up for a little more of a stroll, the waterfront towards the Great Wheel. (SHANNON LUBETICH)

Feast on Expertly Fried Fish at Emerald City Fish and Chips RAINIER VALLEY

I want to say straight off the bat that the best people work at Emerald City Fish & Chips, a small joint whose windows view Rainier Avenue and the ghost of Silver Fork, a restaurant and Black cultural institution that was replaced a decade ago by a Safeway gas station. Emerald City Fish & Chips is still here, and their two-piece Alaskan cod and chips are made with the kind of goodness (back-home goodness) you expect from some of the best people in my town. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

Eat at (at Least) One Restaurant from The Stranger’s Best Restaurants List

VARIOUS

LOCATIONS

It fills me with ardent and boiling rage when people say Seattle doesn’t have a world-class food scene, as they’re wanking to Michelin-starred food galleries for $200 a plate. We do. It’s just in weird office buildings and old dry cleaner shops, not 10,000-square-foot Redditorial gastropubs in the Amazon Village. Need proof? Just pick one recommendation featured in The Stranger’s 15 Best Restaurants in the Seattle Area 2023 list. It’s true that Seattle’s blue-collar, working-class soul has been tricky to find lately, but in this guide I tell you where it’s hiding. Notable entries include Watson’s Counter in Ballard, Stevie’s Famous Pizza in Beacon Hill and Burien, ʔálʔal Cafe in Pioneer Square (get the bison barbacoa tacos!!!), and Fort St. George in the Chinatown–International District. Don’t knock their spaghetti slathered with garlic mayo until you try it. Find the full list at thestranger.com/bestrestaurants, and look for the 2024 installment in July.

(MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Still hungry? Visit thestranger.com/food for even more restaurant reviews and recommendations!

COURTESY OF MOLLY MOON’S

august 9-11 2024

THREE DAYS! friday, SATURday & SUNDAY

Shakey Graves

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA SPOON

Sam Barber

HERMANOS GUTIERREZ

St.Vincent Say She She

Toro Y Moi

BLACK PUMAS

ETHEL CAIN

ARLO PARKS

Killer Mike Vacations

MILITARIE GUN BUTCHER BROWN

CMAT

PETE DROGE

Wyatt Silva

pnw mic check

Ratboys

McKinley Dixon

Alana Edwards & Isaiah Banks

Tim Heidecker AND THE VERY GOOD BAND BLIND PILOT STEPHEN SANCHEZ Earl Sweatshirt

SOFIA KOURTESIS

Infinity Song

MONONEON

live painting by steve keene

Brittany Davis

WELSH & COMPANY

ALL THREE DAYS: ARCHITECTS OF AIR'S LUMINARIUM

Music & Nightlife From Punk Shows at Roller Rinks to Trivia Nights Hosted By Jeopardy Champs

Seattle has long been known for its fruitful music scene. But we’re more than grunge. Today’s music scene is exciting and vibrant, and there is an abundance of venues across the city regularly showcasing an incredibly diverse selection of local and national talent, from femme DJ nights and drag brunches to experimental noise shows in art galleries. Catch a punk show at a roller rink! Stumble into a world-class jazz jam on a random Tuesday night! See the future of comedy in a pizza restaurant! You’ll only be bored in Seattle if you’re boring.

Attend a Live On-Air Performance at KEXP

SEATTLE CENTER

One of the shiniest gems Seattle has to offer is the radio station 90.3 KEXP. Sure, you can stream KEXP all over the world, but there is something truly special about tuning in to the terrestrial signal. And if you’re not in Seattle, you can’t go see one of KEXP’s in-studio performances. KEXP hosts the most incredible artists about once a week and these four- or five-song sets are FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. This feels like a best-kept secret that no one is actually keeping secret and yet not enough people are capitalizing upon. Yes, the room caps out at about 70 people so you would have to get there early for tickets; yes, I get

that most of these performances are midday and some people hAvE jObS tHeY hAvE tO wOrK; but no, I don’t find either of those excuses valid. We’re talking FREE concerts with your favorite artists who are usually over in a half hour. These are the best quickies in town. Find the schedule and more details at kexp.org. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Rollerskate Around a Rock Show at Southgate Roller Rink

WHITE CENTER

Southgate Roller Rink is an underrated Seattle treasure in White Center—a roller rink with Baby Ketten Karaoke for most of the week at the bar, and shows in the middle of the roller rink several times a

month, with a focus on the rock, punk, and noise end of the genre spectrum. I haven’t tried doing anything fancier other than staying upright while the bands play, but I think bonus points should go to whoever manages to do the first Wall of Death on wheels. (KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Expect the Unexpected at Vermillion

CAPITOL HILL

Vermillion, an art gallery and bar on Capitol Hill, isn’t reinventing art galleries or bars, but it does always have cool shit that draws an unpretentious crowd. It feels good to be in a community space that’s integrated with local artists, which is why I like it. For instance, I’ve seen a sculpture made of cigarettes and a show of photography, painting, sketches, and leatherwork from Seattle’s leather community. At Vermillion, there’s always a band, storyteller, or some cool artist doing some cool thing that makes this city seem more vibrant.

(VIVIAN MCCALL)

KEXP Gathering Space

MATHEW B. THOMPSON

Rock the Ballard Block at Sunset Tavern and Tractor Tavern

BALLARD

Dropping in on a quality live music set is easy in central Ballard, with the Sunset and Tractor down the street from each other. The Sunset is a former Chinese restaurant that’s now a fun, divey rock ‘n’ roll bar with live music across all popular genres, a photo booth, and friendly bartenders. The Tractor holds court just two blocks away, with gritty saloon-esque decor, tallboys aplenty, and one of the best selections of live local and national rock, pop, alt-folk, and blues in town. (STRANGER STAFF)

Give Live Jazz or Funk a Chance in Wallingford

WALLINGFORD

If you’re planning on painting the town red and that “town” is Seattle, you’re probably not hitting the Wallingford neighborhood. But I think you should! Not too long ago, I randomly wandered into Sea Monster Lounge on a Wednesday night with a couple friends and we saw some of the most fun jazz. I asked the bartender,

“Does this happen often?” and he just smiled and nodded. It feels intimate and creative. Check out Sea Monster’s schedule of events and maybe don’t go there to catch up with friends; you’ll just wanna sit, sip, watch, and listen. (And then go for a nightcap at the Octopus Bar and take a photo in their photo booth, because those beautiful machines are dropping like flies these days.)

(RACHEL STEVENS)

Let Loose at Babe Night

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

It’s safe to say that no Seattle DJ burns more calories per gig than Waxwitch (aka Isabela Garcia). At any of her dozen-plus events per month, Garcia is in near-perpetual motion behind the decks (and sometimes in front of them), dancing up a tropical storm. The fun she’s clearly having while spinning records such as Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love”

or Björk’s “Big Time Sensuality” acts as a contagion on crowds around the city, particularly at Babe Night, the event into which she’s currently putting the most time and energy—with big dividends. The Babe Night concept seems so obvious and ripe for success, but nobody’s really capitalized on it like Garcia has. She and a rotating cast of the area’s savviest women selectors (including La Mala Noche, Kween Kaysh, and Gold Chisme) play female-centric tracks geared to get hands in the air and butts in gear.

(DAVE SEGAL)

Catch a Drag Show… Any Drag Show

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

If contemplating the Big One is getting you down, I have a quick fix for a pick-me-up: any of Seattle’s countless drag shows! It’s hard not to find a show featuring one of Seattle’s many professional, gender-expansive royalty—they’re overflowing from nearly every restaurant, nightclub, and

CHRIS SCHANZ

Wednesday 5/29

KEXP

Thursday 5/30 THE ROADHOUSE ON KEXP PRESENTS:

Sunday 6/9

Thursday 6/13

Friday 6/14 ALBUM

Saturday

2024 SUMMER CONCERTS

Monday

Wednesday, June 19th

JOSEPH ADAM, Cathedral Organist

Works by Paul Hindemith, Florence Price, Franz Liszt

at St. James C athed ral 2023-2024 www stjames-cathedral.org/music

Concerts begin at 7:00pm (doors open at 6:30) and are followed by a complimentary gelato & sorbet reception in the courtyard on the south side of the Cathedral.

Suggested donation:

$20 general; $12 student/senior; or pay what you can. Tickets available online (scan QR code) or at the door Box office is at Marion St. & Terry Ave

Thursday, July 11th

BRYAN ANDERSON, Organ winner of the 2023 Longwood Gardens International Organ Competition

Wednesday, July 24th

JONATHAN ODDIE, Harpsichord

Visiting Assistant Professor of Historical Keyboards at Indiana University Jacobs School of Music

Music at St James Cathedral 804 9th Ave., First Hill, Seattle musicoffice@stjames-cathedral.org 206-382- 4874

DIY art space across the city. Capitol Hill alone is home to weekly shows at Queer/ Bar, Unicorn, and Neighbours, just to name a few. If you’re down south, don’t miss Betty Wetter’s Tush at Clock-Out Lounge in Beacon Hill or the camp-classic Bacon Strip at Jules Mae’s in Georgetown. Up north? There are multiple phenomenal shows at Dreamland in Fremont. I don’t have time nor room on this page to begin listing off the endless brunch options, but if you’re looking for eggs, booze, and hairy ladies in sequined gowns, let’s just say you’re in the right city. (NICO SWENSON)

Do a Fruit Loop at Union

CAPITOL HILL

What’s a fruit loop, you ask? No, it’s not a rainbow-colored frozen drink that tastes like breakfast cereal. A fruit loop is a… well, I’ll let my group chat field this one: “A ‘fruit loop’ is when one excuses themself from their present company to travel around the interior of a queer establishment and scan the crowd.” “At Union, most will play this off as a bathroom break, as the bathrooms are

located at the midpoint of the loop.” “Union is the perfect place for a fruit loop.” “I’ll go to Union first because that’s where everyone starts the night, and then I’ll do my fruit loop.” “It’s building community!” “It’s an opportunity to make intense eye contact with people you’re going to message on Grindr in an hour.” “It’s also just to say hello to friends: I wouldn’t say it’s always about

the prowl.” “This guy does it all the time.” “I am very guilty of this.” “I’m sure everyone does it.” (ADAM WILLEMS)

Celebrate Your Old-School Faves at the Royal Room COLUMBIA CITY

A wood-bedecked space with great acoustics in Columbia City, the Royal Room

made its name on jazz bookings (it is partially the brainchild of musician and composer Wayne Horvitz) but has since expanded into folk, world music, and multimedia events. Music booker Tish Gallow also produces fun-as-hell tribute nights where some of Seattle’s best celebrate the work of prominent Black musicians, including A Tribe Called Quest, Prince, Queen, and Whitney Houston. Do NOT miss their Juneteenth party, featuring the music of Tina Turner. (STRANGER STAFF)

Witness Seattle’s Funniest Talent Show at Joketellers Union

BEACON HILL

Want to feel like a really online, in-theknow, Seattleite? Go to Clock-Out Lounge to see Seattle comics Brett Hamil and Emmett Montgomery’s long-running biweekly comedy night, Joketellers Union. The show features local and national talents, as well as “special guests with special talents” including “friendship, pizza, and rhythmic clapping.” Whatever

ALEX GARLAND

DANIE .SHEEHAN

Joketellers Union

The Royal Room

ends up happening, it’s always hilarious. I recommend buying tickets in advance, as the shows tend to sell out pretty regularly. For more weird-plus-comedy fun, also check out Friendship Dungeon, a midnight comedy and variety show that Montgomery hosts with Derek Sheen.

(ASHELY NERBOVIG)

Party Among Vintage Porn at Pony

CAPITOL

HILL

Pony has an outdoor fire pit, fantastic bartenders, clever DJs, and vintage gay porn (i.e., huge dicks) wheat pasted to the walls. Plus, there’s a photo booth. Plus, a glory hole in the bathroom. Once I showed up on a Tuesday for karaoke, and the entire cast of a touring production of The Book of Mormon was there, singing their hearts out.

(CHRISTOPHER FRIZELLE)

Dodge—or Don’t—the Overflowing Urinal at the Cuff Complex

CAPITOL HILL

This summer, Paris will host world-class water sports in the form of long-distance Olympic swimming in the Seine; Seattle is

KELLY O

Pony

home to a more permanent water-sports fixture in the form of pee flowing pretty consistently onto the dance floor of the Cuff Complex (aka the Cuff), a leather-forward gay dance club on Capitol Hill. Blame the aquatics on faulty plumbing. There’s one cursèd urinal on the mezzanine level of this Dante’s Inferno-esque nightlife destination that I’ve never not seen overflowing with poise and grace down the stairs. If it’s your thing, take your shirt off and bring rain boots that match your harness! Or don’t bring boots if that’s your thing, I guess.

(ADAM WILLEMS)

Test Your Wits at Head in the Clouds Trivia

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Allow me to brag for a second: I was a member of my school’s Knowledge Bowl team and made it through multiple rounds of Jeopardy! callbacks in 2020, although I sadly never got that fateful call from Culver City. (I’m not giving up yet, though!) Are you a fellow freak for seemingly useless knowledge? Can you pick all of the Real Housewives out of a lineup? Do you have an uninterrupted New York Times crossword streak? If so, come to Head in the Clouds to flaunt your impressive command of minutiae. University of Washington grads

and Jeopardy! champions Sally Neumann and Leah Caglio host this trivia night at bars throughout Seattle from Sunday through Thursday. You won’t find your typical musty, male-dominated questions here—the duo has made it their mission to incorporate topics that have traditionally gotten less respect, like pop culture, and to approach history from an anti-colonial perspective. (JULIANNE BELL)

Take a Swing at Curveball Karaoke

COLUMBIA CITY

If you’re looking for a rowdy crowd at 8 pm on a Tuesday night, head to Lottie’s Lounge in Columbia City for Curveball Karaoke. Regulars and newcomers alike cram together to belt out everything from ’80s classics to Lady Gaga. Sometimes a guy even brings a saxophone to play along, and a few writers from The Stranger occasionally make an appearance as well. The night is so beloved, there’s even a portrait photography book featuring regular participants—check it out at curveballkaraoke.com. (ASHLEY NERBOVIG)

Find a comprehensive list of Seattle’s best concerts, dance nights, comedy shows, and drag brunches at thestranger.com!

Curveball Karaoke

COURTESY OF CURVEBALL KARAOKE

Outdoors

Sure, the View Is Beautiful, but It’s Gonna Kill Us All

If you love nature, you’ll love Seattle. We have 6,480 acres of parks, 4,563 miles of trails, more than 4 million trees, and stunning mountain ranges in every direction. Even a quick run to the drugstore can come with postcard-worthy views of orcas swimming in the bay. That said, it’s the splendor that surrounds us that will likely do us in. Mount Rainier? Active volcano. Puget Sound? Ideal conditions for a tsunami capable of 42-foot-high waves. All those picturesque rivers, lakes, and streams? Prone to flooding in the city’s 39 inches of annual rainfall. And those orcas? They’re sinking boats, now! (Google it! It’s true!) This beauty will kill us, but the views are worth the dance with death.

Strip Down to Your Skivvies at Denny Blaine Park

MADISON VALLEY

Denny Blaine is my favorite place to be homosexual in the United States. The minuscule, lovably ugly Lake Washington beach tucked into a wealthy cul-de-sac has been a gay hangout for nearly four decades. A predominantly topless lesbian crowd earned it the nickname “Dykekiki,” but today it attracts queers of all kinds and plenty of straight nudists, too. No matter

your body type or what genitals you have, DB’s a safe and surprisingly friendly haven for swimming in your skivvies. The magic comes from the deep love people have for it. After the city proposed building a children’s playground at the site this winter, hundreds of angry queers packed a community meeting in protest, ultimately killing the plan. After that outpouring, something tells me this summer will be especially glorious for Denny Blaine. Oh, and no parking signs do mean no parking. Chance it and I promise, you will be towed.

(VIVIAN MCCALL)

Owl Prowl at Discovery Park

MAGNOLIA

If you need a break from the depressing black hole that can be city living, I recommend prowling for owls like you’re in a Tove Jansson novel. Located just across from Ballard’s Hiram M. Chittenden Locks in the Magnolia neighborhood,

Discovery Park is a gigantic wooded oasis with stunning waterside hikes, a historic lighthouse (more on that below), and several breeds of owls lurking amidst the trees. Owls are nocturnal creatures, but it’s not unusual to see one during the daytime. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, go on the prowl after dark (the park closes at 11:30 pm); just don’t forget your binoculars.

(AUDREY VANN)

Pretend You’re in a Romantic Comedy at Green Lake Park

GREEN LAKE

Looking for a more stable, low-effort form of water recreation? Visit the Green Lake Boathouse on the northwest point of Green Lake Park. There, you can rent tippy vessels like stand-up paddleboards and kayaks (show-off) or, for $28, you can play it safe with an (almost) capsize-proof pedal boat. These large orange-and-blue crafts—which seat two or four people and have been

featured in many a rom-com—let you leisurely tour Green Lake without much fear of taking an accidental dip in the lake.

(ASHLEY NERBOVIG)

Then Search for Sea Stars at West Point Lighthouse Beach

MAGNOLIA

One of my favorite favorite things to do with out-of-towners is tide pooling at Discovery Park’s West Point Lighthouse Beach. Wear shoes you don’t mind getting wet and check for low tide. You’ll know you’re in the right place when you start seeing clams spitting everywhere. It’s like a mini Fourth of July celebration, but instead of fireworks, it’s tiny streams of water being shot up into the sky by buried clams. In the shallow pools, you’ll likely be able to see sea anemones, which are topped with rings of hairy-looking tentacles and look like something dangerous out

LARA KAMINOFF

July 11

Clinton Fearon

Phinney Ridge Steel Drum Band

July 18

The Paperboys Smokey Brights

July 25

Sara Gazarek

Marina Albero

August 1

Kalimba

Dance Church

August 8

Sonic Guild presents Andrew Joslyn & the Passenger String Quartet

August 15

Mokoomba | LeRoy Bell & His Only Friends

July 11 - August 15

Free to the Community

volunteerparktrust.org

PRESENTED BY VOLUNTEER PARK TRUST

ALL THURSDAY PERFORMANCES ARE FROM 6-8:30PM

Volunteer Park Trust thanks Seattle Parks & Recreation, Seattle Parks Foundation, and 4Culture for their ongoing support.

of Stranger Things, but they’re harmless. You should be harmless, too—if you gently touch the outside of the sea anemones, they will react and close up. NATURE. But what you’re really there to see are the sea stars (the actual term for what common folk call “starfish”). They will be on the big rocks or boulders on the edge of pools and you will have to get low to see them. I have gotten on my hands and knees to spot three purple sea stars tucked under a rock and told a group of people nearby, “Hey! Did y’all see the sea stars here?” To which they replied, “NO! We looked all over that rock for one!” Didn’t get low enough. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Paddle Around the Heart of Seattle (and

Then Get a

Burrito!) on Lake Union

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

Few activities make me feel more like a Seattleite than picking up a kayak at the Agua Verde Paddle Club and then paddling around Lake Union for a couple hours before returning to the restaurant to stuff myself with a burrito and a fruity bev of some kind. Boat rentals are $29 per hour for a double, so bring a friend and paddle around the perimeter. Wave at the people in the hot tub boats, peer into the houseboats and wonder how much they cost, gaze at the influencers making content in Gas Works Park, sit in awe of the bridge, and marvel at the seaplanes as they take off and land like ducks on the water. (The lake is actually an airport, so that’s kind of fun.) After taking in the views, return to Agua Verde and purchase yourself some premium Mexican

fare. The salsas are all amazing, and the burritos will make you happy on the inside of your body. (RICH SMITH)

Take the Path Less Traveled at Carkeek Park

BROADVIEW

This city is rich with an embarrassment of outdoor spaces. Discovery Park and Golden Gardens tend to take all the glory, with their showy beach bonfires and sweeping territorial views, but for my money, Carkeek is the best park in city limits. Just a little bit north of Golden Gardens, Carkeek is a breathtaking 220-acre pinch of the Olympics. The 3.5-mile loop that starts and ends at Piper’s Creek takes you from wetlands, orchards, and mossy little bridges up to big views of the Sound, past the beach (no dogs allowed), and into rolling hilly forests. (KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Freeze Your Ass Off with a Cold Plunge

If you spend any time at Golden Gardens or Alki Beach, you’re gonna see people in the water and wonder, “Isn’t it cold?” Yes! It is! Quite cold. The average sea surface temperature for Elliott Bay, for example, is 59 degrees Fahrenheit in August. But you should jump in anyway! People pay good money for cold plunge baths at high-end spas, and here in Seattle, we get that shit for free. If you’re new to plunging, I highly recommend starting with one of the local organizations that facilitate group events; I really like Coldwater Collective and Puget Sound Plungers. Both post their weekly schedules on Instagram, along with tips for

first-timers, and it’s way more fun yelling and swearing and splashing around with other people feeling your pain. (Wear a warm hat! It really does make a big difference!) Your first time will probably suck. I lasted about 20 seconds before bailing and swearing it off for good. But 24 hours later, I wanted to try again. I loved the tingly feeling on my skin and the rush of endorphins. Now I go at least once a week and half the time, I spot some cute sea critter playing out in the water, too. (MEGAN SELING)

Pick Blackberries by Boat at Gas Works Park

NORTHLAKE

Don’t buy blackberries in Seattle! Come August and you can pick them pretty much anywhere. Yes, I know they are invasive, but they are also delicious. There are places that get immediately picked over, but I have found a hack! If you travel by boat, there are many places along Lake Union that have the freshest and plumpest blackberries that no one has touched. I bring a bucket (and gloves, because OUCH THORNS) in my canoe and go near Gas Works Park to pick enough to make a pie. And yes, the water quality isn’t the best in Lake Union, and yes, Gas Works used to be an actual gas plant, so the berries might be toxic. But if I’ve learned anything from spending hundreds of hours of my youth watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I can only assume that—worst-case scenario—I will become some kind of crime-fighting blackberry who is mentored by a wise mutant rat. THE PIE IS WORTH IT. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Witness the

Life at the Ballard Locks

BALLARD

Are you in Seattle to gawk at leggy birds? Look no further than the Ballard Locks! It’s a concrete mass separating saltwater from freshwater that functions as a boat elevator and fish ladder between Puget Sound and Salmon Bay. This landmark, the busiest boat locks in the United States, harbors a Janus-faced past and present: an artificial scarring of the landscape that displaced Coast Salish people during its construction—as commemorated on some plaques outside the nearby Pagliacci??— but also a hotspot for wildlife. Demure seals, charismatic salmon runs, yappy sea lions, yacht owners in the throes of a midlife crisis, etc., etc. The Janussery continues at the blue heron rookery in Commodore Park (the Magnolia side), a lovely site where loving (leggy) heron parents raise their chicks. The bird colony, though, is also used by local NIMBYists to delay local affordable housing construction under the guise of “ecological preservation.” J’accuse! But also tell the heron I said hi. (ADAM WILLEMS)

Enjoy a Perfect, Whole-Ass Afternoon in Volunteer Park

CAPITOL HILL

One of the best afternoons you could possibly have in Seattle happens all in and around one park. If you’re able, begin with a walk up the water tower (aka the Poor Man’s Space Needle) to survey your surroundings, catching the downtown and Elliott Bay to the west and the Cascade range to the east. Then head over to the conservatory, where you’ll find rooms of orchids, carnivorous plants, seasonal flowers, and cactuses that look like frost trolls, bongos, and donkey tails. On the way there, say hello to the ducks in the ponds, and peep the actual Space Needle through Isamu Noguchi’s Black Sun sculpture. (Everybody says that sculpture inspired Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” song, but unfortunately everybody is wrong.) Break for lunch at the nearby Volunteer Park Cafe, and then spend the rest of the day in the Seattle Asian Art Museum. This afternoon works in all weather, but in the summer, you might emerge from the museum in time to catch some Shakespeare in the park at the newly renovated auditorium. Planes fly over the park every 30 seconds, so you might want to wear a hard hat while you picnic until Boeing gets its act together. (RICH SMITH)

ZOSHUA COLAH

Shopping

Because You Can’t Take It With You

You can’t take it with you, so why not spend a bunch of your money at all of Seattle’s delightful local businesses? You kind of owe us, tbh. How much money have you given Amazon for air fryers and paper towels and zit patches delivered same-day? Alas, despite the company’s massive headquarters in South Lake Union, Seattle sees very little of those fat profits, relatively speaking. Our City Council lacks the courage to really go after Amazon and other big business’ profits. Money that would greatly benefit Seattle’s social services, or perhaps make a dent in our housing crisis. But that’s a discussion for November. (Google Initiative 137 if you wanna read more.) For now, money please!

Buy Every Flavor of KitKat at Uwajimaya

CHINATOWN–INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

Located in the center of the Chinatown–International District is Uwajimaya, one of North America’s largest Asian retailers. (They also have locations in Bellevue, Renton, and Beaverton, Oregon.) Seattle’s store is more than 35,000 square feet, filled with all the usual grocery store delights, yes, but there’s also a full-service service seafood counter, a deli section stocked with countless, mouthwatering grab-andgo options, and every imported KitKat flavor you could ever imagine. (Available flavors rotate, but Melon, Salt Lemon, Pistachio, and Chocolate Daifuku have been spotted.) There’s also a food court with sweet and savory options—Mexican sandwich counter Los Costeños, Beard Papa’s Cream Puffs, Dochi Japanese Mochi Donuts, and taiyaki counter BeanFish—and Kinokuniya Bookstore. (STRANGER STAFF)

Grow Your Physical Media Collection at Scarecrow Video

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT

Scarecrow Video is fighting the good fight in this nightmare world of streaming where movies can be erased from the cloud at the touch of a button because some rich executive wanted a tax write-

off to further fill their pockets. Since 1988, the beloved videostore has been celebrating and preserving physical media so the works we love aren’t lost to time. Their library of movies—the title count at press time was 147,789—is truly unlike anywhere else in the world. Just wandering through the many sections, both upstairs and down, is like being taken into a utopia of cinema preservation where you can find just about anything ever made, and it’s all available to rent or buy. Don’t live nearby? They also have a rent-by-mail service, allowing US residents to borrow up to six discs for 14 days at a time. (CHASE HUTCHINSON)

Buy Some Weed! It’s Legal Here!

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Dockside Cannabis SoDo is a great place for folks buying legal weed for the first time. It’s emblematic of the new direction in pot retailing brought on by legalization: big, open floor plans, lots of light, and classy decor. Dockside’s got all that, and a cannabis museum to boot. That’s right: An entire corner of their store is devoted to the history and science of cannabis, including selections from the Wirtshafter collection, Ohio cannabis activist Don Wirtshafter’s hoard of vintage cannabis medicine bottles. It sounds bland when I put it that way, but it’s awesome, a fascinating physical

reminder that pot used to be both legal and benign. There are also Dockside locations in Ballard, Green Lake, and Shoreline (without the museum). A few other shops we like include the Reef Cannabis on Capitol Hill, Canna West in West Seattle, and Cannabis City, Seattle’s first pot shop, just one block from the SoDo light rail station. (TOBIAS COUGHLIN-BOGUE)

Get Grossed Out over ClamFlavored Candy at Archie McPhee

WALLINGFORD

A Seattle staple since 1983, Archie McPhee is the local joke shop that keeps our city weird. It started out as a little hole in the wall in Fremont that sold vintage (unused) medical supplies, rubber snakes, and Whoopee Cushions. It has since become a

world of its own. The store, now in a large, slick storefront in Wallingford, is world-renowned for its own line of toys, candy, and knickknacks. Think squirrel-sized underpants, wind-up sloth racers, clam-flavored candy canes, and finger puppets in every imaginable shape and size (glow-in-thedark tentacles, anyone?). While you’re there, take a stroll through the Rubber Chicken Museum, which proudly displays both the world’s largest and world’s smallest rubber chickens. (STRANGER STAFF)

Choose Your Own Seattle Bookstore Adventure

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Seattle is a UNESCO City of Literature and, according to the latest report, there are more than 50 bookstores in the region. That’s too many to name here, and honestly, it would be an insult to try. But to help narrow it down at least a little bit, here are a few Stranger faves: Elliott Bay Book Company has been around, in some form or another, since 1973. Their current space on Capitol Hill feels like a warm, creaky treehouse and they have a cafe and author events almost every day of the week. Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery in Georgetown is a must-visit if you love alternative comics and graphic novels. Newer indie shops on the scene include Charlie’s Queer Books

Dockside Cannabis

Archie McPhee

ANTHONY KEO

in Fremont, where 98% of the books are written by queer-identifying authors, and Mam’s Books in the Chinatown-International District, which is focused on stocking books by Asian American authors. Looking for anarchist literature? Left Bank. Rare books? Arundel. Poetry? Open Books. Cookbooks? Book Larder. Love cats? Twice Sold Tales—they have six of ‘em. And we’d be remiss not to mention the University Book Store, Third Place Books, and Phoenix Comics. Get out there and find your favorite. (MEGAN SELING)

Hunt for Treasures—and Maybe Get Married???—at Georgetown Trailer Park Mall

GEORGETOWN

If you peek behind Star Brass Works Lounge in Georgetown you’ll notice something odd—a bunch of Airstreams parked in a line, some with awnings, some with auxiliary wood structures, and a shotgun wedding chapel with a 6-by-6foot Astroturfed square. It’s confusing if you don’t know what it is—the bones of Seattle’s cutest little weekend market (sorry, Ballard). Every Saturday and Sunday,

Georgetown Trailer Park Mall

PAMELA HOWELL

small businesses sell skincare products, vintage clothes, Lowrider cookies, marriage, and more out of the RVs, adding a fun stop on the bustling Georgetown retail and bar corridor. (KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Build a Booze-Free Bar at Cheeky & Dry

PHINNEY RIDGE

In Phinney Ridge, Cheeky & Dry is a darling booze-free bottle shop where owners Kirstin and Yura Vracko sell dozens of different non-alcoholic spirits and amari and syrups and canned cocktails and sodas and tinctures and bitterses. This place looks like a wine shop from France and carries all kinds of curious elixirs I never knew existed, like yuzu or vanilla-rooibos tea or rose cordial syrup (Portland Syrups), mango/lychee/ turmeric soda (Zyn), cherry/ginger/maple NA cider (Nowhere), lemon/cucumber/serrano pepper NA spirit (Amethyst), and all four of the Casamara Club botanical sodas, which are nearly impossible to find. Think of the beautiful party you could have after shopping here! There must be a hundred thousand individual items within this store, and the staff let you taste everything in a little cuppity cup. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Find Your Perfect Dildo at Wild at Heart

BALLARD

Wild at Heart is a great sex shop that shares a name with a great film. Like Nicolas Cage found his symbol of individuality and belief in personal freedom in a snakeskin jacket, you can do the same with this Ballard shop’s selection of dildos, lubes, whips, crops, and puppy masks. Browsing for straps is awkward for the best of us, but Wild at Heart’s friendly, judgment-free atmosphere is pleasant even for shy types. Where a lot of sex shops in Seattle feel stuffy and corporate for their lascivious merchandise, Wild at Heart sparkles with a genuine quality. (VIVIAN MCCALL)

Try the Board Games Before You Buy at Mox Boarding House, Nerd

BALLARD

Seattle’s antisocial winters have given me a new appreciation for board games. Even reclusive friends can be lured out with the promise of Catan, but eventually old games get old, and new games can be expensive and totally not for you. Mox’s Boarding House in Ballard is a restaurant and game

shop that lets you try new games as you eat. If you like the game, you can buy a new copy at a 15% discount. Games are the main attraction, but the food is good, too, and there’s a surprisingly large selection of mead for the D&D nerds in your life (though if this appeals to you, you’re probably that dorkass). (VIVAN MCCALL)

Waste the Day Away in Alaska Junction

WEST SEATTLE

A lot of people joke about West Seattle being impossible to get to, but the trip across the Duwamish Waterway really isn’t so bad, especially if you hop on the West Seattle Water Taxi. From there, you can explore Alki Beach or grab a shuttle that takes you straight up to the Alaska Junction, a bustling neighborhood core of indie stores, art spaces, and restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. Easy Street Records is one of the best record stores in the city, and they are always hosting free live performances (they have a great cafe, too), and Husky Deli has great sandwiches, dozens of flavors of housemade ice cream, and an old-school candy counter that sells confections by the pound. There are

several bookstores (Paper Boat Booksellers, Pegasus Book Exchange) and gift and home goods shops (Northwest Art & Frame, Capers), and a fun selection of vintage everything at Doll Parts Collective.

(STRANGER STAFF)

Star in an Episode of Gilmore Girls on Ballard Avenue BALLARD

Downtown Ballard is so sweet and quaint, it will make you feel like you just stepped into an episode of Gilmore Girls. The historic streets are lined with trees and brick buildings that house bars and restaurants, independently owned stores and boutiques, and art galleries. Lucca Great Finds has a dizzying array of gifts and home accessories as well as a selection of stationery, pens, and pencils that will inspire you to take up letter writing. Sweet Mickey’s is a can’t-miss if you’re traveling with little ones—the old-fashioned candy store carries bulk candy, seasonal sweets, and fudge by the pound. Stroll a little further to Market Avenue and you’ll find one of Seattle’s most iconic record stores, Sonic Boom, and don’t miss nearby Monster, which carries locally made crafts and gifts. (STRANGER STAFF)

Extra Credit Adventures That Require a Bit More Time, Money, and/or a Willing Grindr Date

Oh, hi! You’re done already? You’ve completed all 95 tasks that precede this section and now you’re looking for even more to do? Look at you, you little overachiever! The fun doesn’t have to end. These tasks require a bit more effort, but they’re so worth it if you have the time and money.

Walk the Whole Olmsted 50K

VARIOUS LOCATIONS

The Olmsteds are well known for designing big splashy East Coast shit like New York’s Central Park and Boston’s string of parks known as the Emerald Necklace, but the brothers also spent more than three de-

cades designing 37 of our (objectively more) gorgeous Seattle parks. Last November, to celebrate 120 years of the Olmsted Parks contract, the Mountaineers’ Seattle Urban Walk Committee and Friends of Seattle’s Olmsted Parks mapped out a 50-kilometer (31-mile) walking route that hits over two dozen of those parks. The route is broken up into five 5-7 mile sections, beginning at the Ballard Locks and ending all the way down at Rainier Beach Playfield in South Seattle. It was specifically designed to be tackled in bite-sized chunks with plenty of scenery, treats, toilets, and Seattle landmarks along the way. The Seattle Urban Walk Committee hosts official walks, which you can find on the website, but it’s encouraged to go with friends on your own time. Personally, I’m trying to wrangle a group for a DIY 50k run of it this summer. (KATHLEEN TARRANT)

Dance to “Feelin’ Like” in a Hot Tub Boat on Lake Union

LAKE UNION

The coolest thing I’ve ever done in Seattle is hot tub boat around Lake Union. Now, there

are two different companies who offer SITTING IN A HOT TUB AND MOTORBOATING AROUND LAKE UNION, which is amazing to me. Two different companies are competing for this market and I’ve gotta tell you: one is blowing the other out of the water. One company allows you to bring booze; the other doesn’t. One company’s tubs are heated by an ACTUAL FIRE in a wood-burning stove on the boat; the other’s tubs are electric? Unclear, but I hear they get cold fast. You should book with Lake Union Hot Tub Boats. (I am not getting paid by Lake Union Hot Tub Boats to say that, but do you see me out here, LUHTB? Girl’s got a birthday coming up!) The thing about hot tub boats is that they are expensive and have become more so in the past four years. It’s $400 for two hours with six people. Not cheap! But let me tell you, watching your friend do a backflip into Lake Union? Pretty badass. Dancing to Bad Colours and Jarv Dee’s “Feelin’ Like” blasting from the provided Bluetooth speaker in a hot tub in the middle of Lake Union? Pretty awesome. Realizing that you’re outta booze,

so you gotta putter your hot tub vessel to the boats-only lake convenience store and as the attendant on the dock if you can make a quick beer run even though you’re technically driving a hot tub and not a boat? Well, that’s pretty embarrassing, but it makes for a great story. (RACHEL STEVENS)

Scuba Dive to the Toilet off Alki

WEST SEATTLE

If you’re dive-certified (or endeavoring to become so), you should explore what’s known as the Alki Junkyard, a dive site full of critters and old appliances off the western end of Alki Beach. I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually seen this “toilet” with my own eyes, but my dad has (even if it was 50 years ago), and the mystery makes the murky depths all the more enticing, right? As any PNW diver will tell you, everything is covered in mud, and that’s on a good day. Think of it as a treasure hunt. The internet does confirm sightings of spot prawns, ratfish, squid, wolf eels, octopus, and big skates (which are fish similar in appearance to sting rays, not what Shawn Kemp wears to cruise down the boardwalk). (SHANNON LUBETICH)

Suck a Dick in Volunteer Park. For History’s Sake!

CAPITOL HILL

Should an earthquake destroy the city, there are some important historical locations and traditions that will need to be rebuilt. Nestled in the gayborhood of Capitol Hill, Volunteer Park features a landmark conservatory, a stunning view from a historic water tower, and a vibrant past of queers getting off in the bushes. The park was founded in 1876 and ever since, gays have been getting a mouthful behind the beautiful dahlias and taking it in from behind amongst the bursting rhododendrons. To be clear, I’m “not” telling you to commit any “acts of public indecency,” I’m just saying that if you’ve met your Grindr hookup in a shadowy shrub along the duck ponds, you’ve successfully contributed to an important oral history. (NICO SWENSON)

MATT MCDONALD

Hot Tub Boat on Lake Union

Festivals

Seattle’s Best Summer Fests and Arts Events

BY AUDREY VANN, SHANNON LUBETICH, JULIANNE BELL, LINDSAY COSTELLO

Queer/Pride Festival 2024

Chateau Ste. Michelle Summer Concert Series 2024

MULTIPLE DATES, MAY 25 – SEPT 28

Every year, Chateau Ste. Michelle lays out a full summer season of music legends and cultural luminaries to grace their beautiful landscape of flowing wine. From Maren Morris to Jon Batiste to Orville Peck, this stacked lineup occurs in single shows every few days from May to September, many of which quickly sell out. So head over to Woodinville, do a free tour and tasting (hell, you’re already there!), and buy tickets to see some of America’s pop culture greats. I, for one, can’t wait to see ethereal angel Sarah McLachlan (May 25-26), who will headline alongside Feist. They are precisely the combination that will make me sob through the night (in a good way). (Chateau St. Michelle Winery, 14111 NE 145th St, Woodinville, visit our calendar at thestranger.com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN

Marymoor Live 2024

MULTIPLE DATES, JUNE 8–SEPT 7

Pack up your picnic gear and head over to King County’s oldest (and largest) park this summer for Marymoor’s annual outdoor concert series. Big names like legendary reggae ensemble the Wailers, iconic Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash, and alt-metal outfit Primus will grace the spacious tree-framed lawn. And, if the names themselves aren’t enough to get you to drive to Redmond, know that these shows are typically accompanied by gorgeous sunsets and the occasional bald eagle sighting. (Marymoor Park, Redmond, 6046 W Lake Sammamish Pkwy, Redmond, visit our calendar at thestranger.com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN

BECU ZooTunes

MULTIPLE DATES, JUNE 16–AUG 21

ZooTunes is a 40-plus-year summer tradition that brings big-name artists to the Woodland Park Zoo’s bucolic North Meadow to raise money for the zoo’s

animal care, conservation programs, and education. This year’s highlights include indie rock double-feature Built to Spill with Yo La Tengo, alt-rap phenoms the Roots, indie folk favorite Waxahatchee, and velvety-voiced jazz-pop gem Norah Jones. Plus, this is a kid-friendly event! One of my earliest memories is gnawing on a licorice rope while watching Aimee Mann perform at ZooTunes. If you’re attending without kids, lucky you—there will be two beer gardens and plenty of kettle corn. (Woodland Park Zoo, 750 N 50th St, visit our calendar at thestranger.com for the full lineup) AUDREY VANN

Fremont Fair 2024

JUNE 22–23

I’m gonna be real with you: I’ve never been to the Fremont Fair. It always falls on Father’s Day weekend so I’m typically with my pops, but this year, he’s traveling! So I will without a doubt be soaking up the sun and all the Fremont quirkiness for a week-

end full of market stalls, street performances, local bands, and general free-spirited merriment and artistic expression. If you’re around Saturday afternoon, you literally can’t miss the Solstice Parade, known for its elaborately painted nude cyclists, stilt walkers, and giant puppets, among many other floats. Who’s got a bike and some body paint I can borrow? (Fremont Ave N and N 35th St in Fremont, free, all ages) SHANNON LUBETICH

Queer/Pride Festival 2024

JUNE 28–30

This event is sort of like if Seattle PrideFest got tangled up in the Capitol Hill Block Party. Outside of Queer/Bar, gaggles of queer icons will take the outdoor stage with music, drag, and burlesque performances. After last year’s lineup with Pabllo Vittar, Trixie Mattel, and Charo, it was hard to imagine what could top (or even match) that holy trinity, but they did it again! Queen of indie sleaze Santigold will headline with queer pop sister duo Tegan and Sara, “sugar trap” rapper Rico Nasty, art pop polymath Perfume Genius, and indie rock band Juliette and the Licks (fronted by none other than Juliette Lewis). Plus, RuPaul’s Drag Race stars Shea Couleé, Alaska Thunderfuck, Detox, Roxxxy Andrews, Lady Camden, and Bosco will goop and gag the crowd alongside local drag talent. (11th Ave between E Pike St and Pine St on Capitol Hill, $69–$299, 21+) AUDREY VANN

Gobble Up

SUN, JUNE 29

The indie craft show Urban Craft Rising typically hosts their annual specialty food show Gobble Up during the winter holiday season, but there’s no reason that an array of tasty small-batch products should be relegated to the wintertime, so this year they’re introducing this brand new summer version with more than 75 small businesses and food trucks. If you want to plan ahead with your gift-giving, the Cancers, Leos, and Virgos in your life will surely appreciate birthday presents like hand-crafted salami, chili crisp, or wooden cutting boards—or

WALTER WILLIAMS

just treat yourself to something special. (Lake Union Park, 860 Terry Ave N, 10 am–5 pm, free, all ages) JULIANNE BELL

Seattle PrideFest

JUNE 29–30

Claiming the title of “largest free pride festival in the country,” Seattle PrideFest takes over Capitol Hill with a street fair and performers on Saturday, and then organizes the parade on Sunday from Westlake Park to Seattle Center. Our favorite moment is when everyone from the parade inevitably ends up in the memorial fountain for a sparkly, wet dance party. Check back after Memorial Day for the full schedule and music lineup, we’re expecting drag queens and local bands. (Various locations, free, all ages) SHANNON LUBETICH

Day In Day Out

JULY 12–14

If we break down Seattle’s summer music festivals in terms of the generations they cater to, Capitol Hill Block Party is for Gen Z, Bumbershoot is for Gen X, and DIDO undoubtedly caters to the Millennials. Headlining this year is pop princess Carly Rae Jepsen, Seattle-born indie folk band Head and the Heart, and Jack Antanoff’s Springsteen-esque project Bleachers. (DIDO is no stranger to booking Taylor Swift collaborators, the National headlined last year!) Other highlights include Peach Pit, Men I Trust, Suki Waterhouse, and opening DJ sets from beloved PNW bands like Acapulco Lips, King Youngblood, and La Fonda. All performances will take place on an outdoor single stage in the heart of Seattle with access to food trucks, vendors, and views of the Space Needle. (Fisher Pavilion at Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, $130–$349, all ages) AUDREY VANN

Ballard SeafoodFest

JULY 12–14

Originally started as a celebration of the neighborhood’s fishing industry in 1974, the Ballard SeafoodFest has expanded over the years to include a salmon dinner, a crab

shack, a beer garden replete with local craft brews, food and artisan craft vendors, a skateboarding competition, and live music. This year’s music lineup includes Rubblebucket, Naked Giants, Wild Rumours, and Nite Wave, among many others. Gluttons for punishment can enroll in the lutefisk eating contest, an annual competition to see who can scarf the most of the salty, gelatinous fish. (NW Market St and Ballard Ave NW in Ballard, free, all ages) JULIANNE BELL

Seattle Festival of Dance + Improvisation

MULTIPLE DATES, JULY 14–AUG 11

This immersive, month-long foray into Seattle’s dance community offers unique opportunities to watch, study, and learn alongside other movement artists. The Seattle Festival of Dance + Improvisation has helped dancers build community in the Pacific Northwest for nearly 30 years—this time around, they’ll offer cohort-based intensives (who will “spend three weeks working toward a live performance at 12th Ave Arts”), plus drop-in classes and workshops for novices and experienced practitioners alike. (Velocity Dance Center, 117 Louisa St #268, visit summer. velocitydancecenter.org for schedules and registration) LINDSAY COSTELLO

Capitol Hill Block Party 2024

JULY 19–21

This year, CHBP offers a treasure trove of Gen-Z favorites. Droves of festival-goers will crowd the streets of Capitol Hill to see lineup highlights like pop music’s reigning camp queen Chappell Roan, electronic hip-hop heavy Kaytranata, and indie pop trio Cannons. This isn’t your typical loungein-the-grass-type music festival, but rather, a bustling party that involves nine stages— both indoors and outdoors—that are nestled within the city streets. Unfortunately, “slut pop” star Kim Petras had to pull out of her headlining spot, but fear not! Alt-pop sensation Remi Wolf will take her place. (E Pike St between Broadway and 12th Ave on Capitol Hill, $105–$549, all ages)

AUDREY VANN

Bite of Seattle

JULY 19–21

Seattle boasts plenty of food and drink festivals year-round, but Bite of Seattle—billed as “Seattle’s original and largest food and beverage showcase” and claiming to draw 455,000 guests each year—is the most well-known gluttonous gathering by far, having been in business since 1982. Look forward to upwards of 250 food vendors, as well as a beer and wine garden, retail vendors, cider tastings, kids’ activities, live cooking demos, and more than 65 musical performers. (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, free, all ages) JULIANNE BELL

The Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire

MULTIPLE DATES, JULY 19–AUG 18

Nothing says summer like chainmail and wool tunics!! Whether you’re there for the Middle Ages vibes or the unbeatable people-watching, the Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire (or “Merriwick” for these

purposes) is always a mead-guzzlin’ good time. Harkening back to when musicians, jugglers, and falconers all caroused together, the fantasy-loving festival (led by a faerie court) will take place on weekends in July and August. Show up to feast on meat pies, obtain trinkets and baubles, and generally party like you survived the bubonic plague. (Sky Meadows Park, 18601 Sky Meadows Ln, Snohomish, free–$39.95, all ages)

LINDSAY COSTELLO

Timber! Outdoor Music Festival 2024

JULY 25–27

Popular outdoor music festival Timber! is back for a very full weekend of crowd-friendly folk, rock, and pop performances, as well as all-ages activities like camping, kayaking, and stargazing. This year’s lineup includes garage rock wizard Ty Segall, alt-rock quartet Deer Tick, Portland-based indie folk ensemble Y La Bamba, country singer-songwriter

Timber! Outdoor Music Festival

KITOKO CHARGOIS

VISIT BALLARD

Dean Johnson, and anti-folk trailblazer Kimya Dawson. Performances will be split between the main stage, the more intimate Campfire stage, and Camp Timber for kids’ and group activities. (Tolt-MacDonald Park, 31020 NE 40th St, Carnation, $65–$155.99, all ages) AUDREY VANN

Seattle Art Fair

JULY 25–28

Returning to Lumen Field for the eighth year, Seattle Art Fair will continue to offer Seattleites the opportunity to see cool, cutting-edge contemporary artwork from all over the world without leaving town. Plenty of local institutions and artists get involved as well, making for a jam-packed weekend of incredible art-viewing opportunities. The fair promises to be a bit like last year’s—a hectic four days of avant-garde, artsy goodness that rivals its pre-pandemic days— with to-be-announced public projects and gallerists visiting from near and far. (Lumen Field, 800 Occidental Ave S, $35–$65, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO

Urban Craft Uprising

JULY 27–28

Urban Craft Uprising has blossomed from its humble, 50-booth beginnings in 2005, now billing itself as the largest indie craft event

in the Pacific Northwest. (Judging by the show’s consistently strong turnouts, it ain’t lying.) This year, they’ll bring a two-day summer show back to Magnuson Park Hangar 30, where you can hide from the sun for a couple of hours while snatching up crafty wares by indie artists and bites from on-site food trucks. Serving up a thoughtful alternative to mass-marketed trinkets and big box stores, the show promises all the resin earrings and chunky ceramics my heart desires—and I have a gut feeling you’ll find something nifty, too. (Magnuson Park Hangar 30, 6310 NE 74th St, free, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO

THING Festival 2024

AUG 9–11

With the exception of peak pandemic years, the THING Festival has filled the Sasquatch-shaped void in Washington State ever since its demise in 2018, and this year is no exception! The lineup is still grander than your average small-town arts fest with genre-spanning musical highlights like St. Vincent, Spoon, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Toro Y Moi, Killer Mike, Ethel Cain, Black Pumas, and Earl Sweatshirt. If you need a break from the crowds, there will also be art installations, a shopping market, crafting workshops, and a nightly lantern parade. Plus, to boost accessibility, the festival

is moving locations from Fort Worden to Carnation’s Remlinger Farms, which means a shorter commute from the city (no ferry ride necessary!) (Remlinger Farms, 32610 NE 32nd, Carnation, $129–$825, all ages)

AUDREY VANN

Seattle Tattoo Expo

AUG 16–18

Peep impressive tattoo displays, shop counterculture vendors, and engage in a little lighthearted flesh adornment at this three-day celebration of permanently decorated bodies. The Seattle Tattoo Expo has brought enthusiasts and professional ink-givers together for over 20 years; attendees can thrill their eyeballs at a tattooed burlesque revue or enter contests for best color tats, black-and-white designs, and more. (There’ll be a competition for the worst tattoo, too, so roll up your sleeves and whip out your blurry anchors and tributes to Mom.) (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, $30–$70, all ages) LINDSAY COSTELLO

PAX West 2024

AUG 30–SEPT 2

Unsurprisingly, PAX (originally the “Penny Arcade Expo”) was started right here in

our neck of the woods back in 2004. Now with multiple annual meet-ups across the globe, Seattle is home to PAX West every Labor Day weekend. This massive video game convention and celebration of all things gaming and geek boasts panels with yet-to-be-announced special guests, new game demonstrations, hands-on activities, and an exhibit hall with booths spanning every fandom. Tickets can be on the pricey side, but there are always lots of fun (and cheaper) affiliated parties going on around town. (Various locations, visit west.paxsite. com for tickets and the full schedule) SHANNON LUBETICH

Bumbershoot 2024

AUG 31–SEPT 1

After a four-year hiatus due to financial problems, low attendance numbers, and production shakeups, local collective New Rising Sun and nonprofit arts/ education organization Third Stone revived Seattle’s most iconic festival last year for a 50th-anniversary celebration that expanded the definition of “artist.” Given that last year’s revival was such a success, the new-and-improved Bumbershoot is back from the grave. The music lineup has yet to be announced, but with promised attractions like a cat circus, pole dancing pavilion, and wig farm, this year’s festival feels reminiscent of Bumbershoot 2008, when I saw a sex-positive paper bag puppet show right after being trampled at the main stage while Paramore performed “Misery Business.” Ah, the good old days! (Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, $70-$350, all ages) AUDREY VANN

Seattle Art Fair

PAX West 2024

Seattle Tatto Expo

THING Festival 2024

Urban Craft Uprising

COURTESY OF AMP

KIKO VILLASEÑOR OF PENNY ARCADE

DIGRUCC.IO

CHRISTINE MITCHELL

LYDIA BREWER PHOTOGRAPHY