NMSN Magazine Fall 2019 by National Military Spouse Network

CAREER CONNECTIONS December, 2019, Vol. 7, Issue 2

www.nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

4 20 Things to Do Now to Kickstart Your Job Search for 2020!

6 Re-Entering the Workforce

8 The Deadly Sins of Team Leadership

10 Authentic Branding for the Micro-preneur

11 Five Things to Do Right Now on LinkedIn

13 HR for Small Business

14 NMSN Summit Spread

16 Know Before You Launch Lesson 1: Diligent Public Relations

17 Who is in Your Kitchen Cabinet?

19 Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

20 5 Ways To Give Your Military Spouse Goals A Little More Mojo

22 Standing Out in a Crowd The Cover Photo Credit: Trish Alegre-Smith of So Your Life Images for NMSN No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the Publisher.

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President’s Letter BY

Sue Hoppin

As we reflect on 2019 at NMSN, we are so grateful for our community. It was a big year for us and we could not be where we are without you. I think we were all excited by how well received our inaugural white paper was. It was amazing to have our recommendations adopted as legislative proposals. Many of you joined us to visit legislators on the Hill to advocate for the change necessary in the military spouse employment space. Through our roundtable discussions, we brought key stakeholders and partners to the table to further the conversation and affect real change. We have found our strength in the space and it is that in the role of thought leaders. Our second white paper will be released by the end of January and will continue the work we started in 2019 while pushing the envelope on career portability for military spouses even further. As exciting as this past year has been, 2020 promises to be even bigger. In addition to the new white paper and roundtables, we’re also looking forward to our TEN year anniversary! We’ll be Storming the Hill once again on May 8th and hope that you’ll be able to join us. Till then, best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous 2020!

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20 Things to Do Now to Kickstart Your Job Search for 2020! BY AMY SCHOFIELD

s your goal for 2020 to obtain a new job? Don’t know where to start? This list of 20 things will help you get ready for the new year and your job search. 1. Update Your Resume. This may be a no brainer, but updating your resume is vital to your job search. Ideally you will want a resume for each type of position you are looking for. So if you are looking for an event manager position or a social media manager position you will want a resume for each even though many of the skills may overlap. 2. Modernize Your Cover Letter. Are you using the same cover letter format since you started your career? Now is the time to modernize it. Create a cover letter that has impact and that a hiring manager will want to read. Ensure you can easily tailor to each job you apply to. Use the same letterhead and font type and size for your cover letter that you do for your resume so your submission materials look like they fit seamlessly together. 3. Revise Your References List. Your references may vary each year based on new connections you form. Or your references’ contact information may have 4 | NMSN Magazine

changed. Use this time to review your list of references and contact each reference to inform them about your job search and ensure you have the correct contact information. 4. Refresh Your Headshot. LinkedIn does not consider your profile complete without a profile picture. Don’t make the mistake of leaving that section blank! If your profile picture is from several years ago, has other people in it, has too much distraction in the background, or is cropped too much it looks pixelated, then now is the time to obtain a professional headshot. 5. Get Organized. Create a filing system to keep track of your professional career documents, so you have everything in the same place readily available. Create another filing system to track every job you apply to so you know the date you applied, pertinent contact information, and which resume and cover letter you used for each submission to help when you follow up with your applications. 6. Review Your Social Media Accounts: Conduct an annual audit of all of your social nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

media accounts, including LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Be sure all of your content is professional and check your settings to see who can see what information within your account. 7. Perfect Your Elevator Speech. How would you respond to the question “tell me about yourself?” Refine and practice your 30-second pitch since this may change each year based on your accomplishments and goals. 8. Revive Your Wardrobe. Assemble at least 3 complete outfits to have ready, accessories and all, so you are not scrambling at the last minute to find clothes that fit you, accessories that match, and are appropriate for an interview. 9. Research. Want to transition to a larger company? A different industry? Explore several prospective employers online to see what types of careers they offer and what requirements are needed to perform the jobs that interest you. 10. Automate. Set up a job posting search to automatically notify you with job postings that are a match when they become available. DECEMBER 2019

11. Develop a Target Salary. One of the most dreaded questions during a job search a candidate is asked is generally “what is your salary requirement”? Have a salary range in mind ahead of time so you are not caught off guard. To do this, research your target job salary in your desired field and location using resources like glassdoor.com. 12. Practice Answering Interview Questions. Create a list of several possible questions that companies ask during interviews and write your answers on paper. Then refine and practice your answers so they become natural when you speak. Be flexible when it comes to an interview in case you are asked a similar question but not exactly the same one you have practiced. 13. Schedule a Meetup. Arrange to have coffee or lunch with a former co-worker or a new networking contact. You never know when someone you know may have knowledge about a company that is hiring for someone with your skillset! 14. Prepare Thank You Notes. Draft several types of thank you note templates for various aspects of your job search so that it is easier for you to complete and promptly send a thank you note after an interview, after lunch with a former colleague, to someone who connected you with a job opportunity, etc. 15. Connect with Colleagues on LinkedIn. Invite at least 10 people you have not already connected with on LinkedIn to connect with you. This will help you develop a larger network and increase your DECEMBER 2019

visibility on LinkedIn. Be sure to personalize the invitations when connecting. 16. Comment on LinkedIn. Read your LinkedIn news feed and comment on at least five updates. Taking the time to see what others are up to and checking in on their endeavors can help you reconnect with colleagues. 17. Request Recommendations. Reach out to three people on LinkedIn asking them to write you a LinkedIn recommendation. If you already have at least three recommendations, ask at least one additional person per year so that not all of your recommendations are from several years ago. 18. Register for a Professional Development Event. Attending a professional development or networking event is important to your job search. Not only will you connect with people in person, you will also gain insight to the latest updates within your industry and may obtain new leads for job openings. 19. Edit, Edit, Edit. Ensure all of your career communication documents are 100% errorfree. Review your resume and cover letter at least three times to ensure there are no typos. Do not rely on spellcheck on your computer. It will not alert you that you have used misspelled words like manage to mange. Before sending any email, resume, or cover letter, proofread it. And then proofread it again. 20. Set a Reminder. Add a recurring event on your calendar to update your nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

resume annually. Too often, we forget to update our resume until we need it and then run the risk of forgetting our major accomplishments from each year and scrambling to update our resume at the last minute.

Amy Schofield is an Academy Certified Resume Writer and an Academy Certified Profile Writer with 10+ years of experience in the recruiting, career coaching, and resume writing fields. She is the founder of Schofield Strategies, LLC TM, an organization that provides resume development and job search strategies to job seekers of various backgrounds and experience levels from around the world. As an active-duty military spouse, she is passionate about helping transitioning veterans and military spouses reach their career goals. Her work is featured in numerous online and print media, including GI Jobs, Reserve and National Guard Magazine, Army Wife Talk Radio, NextGen Milspouse, and Blue Star Families. She is a contributor to Modernize Your Job Search Letters: Get Noticed… Get Hired. Schofield Strategies was the recipient of the 2013 Military Family Member Community Heartbeat Award. NMSN Magazine

Re-Entering the Workforce BY JANET FARLEY

ou can plan your future all you want to but sometimes things turn out differently. The detours can be endless.

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You choose to become a stay at home parent for those fleeting precious years. You move to a new duty station and grow ever so weary of job searching. You turn your attention to full time school thinking that is the path that calls you. Your world takes a turn for the surreal and you become a caregiver for a loved one. You are forced to sit life out and sort out your own physical, mental or emotional demons.

Life, it would seem, happens to all of us and when it does, your career can be derailed by days, months and even years. When (and if) you finally decide to return to the work place, the obstacles may be daunting. • • • •

question: “Does X support my new direction?” If the answer is yes, it stays. If no, then it goes. Inventory your existing skill set. Identify and obtain those skills that are lacking. Looking over your old resume or creating a new one will give you the opportunity to assess your marketable skills. Compare the ones you have with the ones needed for the jobs you want today. If you see a big disconnect, then you may need to update your skills. •

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Visit your local state labor department workforce center and inquire about free classes, state provided funding for re-training, on-the-job work experience and paid internships. Connect with the employment readiness program at the military family center on the installation nearest you.

Your resume may be sorely outdated and costing you potential opportunities. Your skills may be rusty or worse, obsolete rendering you unmarketable. Your network may be full of cobwebs. You may not have a clue where to start or even what to do.

If you find yourself at the edge of a return to the working world, the following may help you. Revive your old resume or create a new one. You will need a competitive resume. If you have an old resume, review it and figure out what is worth saving and what isn’t. Assuming you’ve been out of a job for a while, you may need to get creative and construct a whole new resume that that highlights your skills and abilities over your work history. A combination or functional format may do the trick. Don’t neglect to include volunteer experiences. They most certainly count. If you’re confused about what to include on your resume, then give it the acid test. Ask the following 6 | NMSN Magazine

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Access Military OneSource and the Spouse Education and Career Opportunities (SECO) program. Check out any area non-profit organizations that offer employment assistance to service members, spouses and veterans. Sign up for a class or certification program at your local community college or military education center. Use MyCAA (if you’re eligible) to offset any costs or search out spousespecific scholarships and grants.

Step out from the shadows. You may be incredibly qualified and have all the skills you need to land a fantastic job, but (and here’s the bitter truth), you’re not the only one. Your community is full of talented and qualified individuals.

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Volunteer in your target career field while you’re job searching. You’ll get to meet new people, learn new skills and add a new work narrative to your resume. It’s a win-win-win. Attend community based networking events. Mingle. Do the small talk. Be genuine. Reconnect with people from your past or people in your present who can potentially help you.

Work with a job coach and/or mentor. A job coach or mentor won’t get your job for you, but they can help you to get it for yourself faster. Consider hiring a job coach (the good ones are well worth the expense) or connect with one at the employment readiness program for free. A carefully selected and willing mentor, on the other hand, can also provide you valuable insight and wisdom.

The difference between the ones who get hired and the ones who don’t comes down to good old fashioned networking, online and off. If you’ve been sequestered out of the work force for a while, you need to work extra hard to re-energize your network. •

Actively participate in NMSN events (online and off).

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Janet Farley is a career services specialist at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs and the author of several career guides targeted to veterans and military spouses most recently, Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2017). Connect with her at www.linkedin.com/in/janetfarley

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The Deadly Sins of Team Leadership BY CAROL BOWSER

have spent the better part of my adult life diving into workplace conflict. What causes it. What keeps it on life support despite everyone saying that they are sick of the “drama”. Below are what I have identified as the “Deadly Sins of Team Leadership.” So if you are leading a team, leading a home, leading groups of volunteers these insights apply. Thinking having “Team Players” is enough. In my time I have seen many, many variations on what

it means to be a “team player.” Every person and organization defines it somewhat differently. There is a fallacy that if you just hire the right people things will take care of themselves. Maybe. Not usually.

Determine how each prefers to work and encourage active dialogue about the work and the manner in which the work can be accomplished. Make sure to honor differences, but not at the cost of organizational goals.

What is often overlooked is that successful teams have great coaches. Coaches who know how to define a vision and utilize the individual players to maximum advantage. So get to know the players, their strengths, knowledge, talent and interests.

Assuming you know what it is like to work for you. You don’t really know what it is like to work for you. Most people will not tell you. Frankly, different people experience you differently. Your aversion to “micro-managing” people may cause you not to give the level of direction that someone else may need. Conversely, your need for process and rules, may drive subordinate and peers crazy. The truth is that we judge ourselves based on our intentions while other judge us based on their interpretation of our actions. Other people can’t get into your head any more then you can get into theirs. You can, however, solicit feedback. Ask a confidant or peer to provide you with direct feedback. You can devote some time to self-reflection and selfassessment. Once you have some insight, consider working with a coach or invest in some professional development to determine how to leverage your preferred approaches. Insisting on respect / leading by fear. You cannot insist people respect you. Respect for some

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is given until it is betrayed. For others respect is not given until it is earned. Some may not respect you but will show deference to the position. Somewhere along the line people got confused thinking that use of punishment and fear is a good way to get respect. Nope. Just because someone fears punishment does not mean that they respect the person who doles out the punishment. In fact, they likely hate that person. Instead, try and find out how other demonstrate respect at work and what respectful conduct looks like to them. You might be surprised. Squelching conflict. This is a big one. Why? Because there is the misplaced belief that conflict is by nature confrontational and “not nice.” You can be nice and disagree. You can respectfully disagree. You can even assertively respectfully and gracefully disagree. If you fail to raise concerns or bring errors to people’s attention that is not being nice that is being a chicken s**t. Know that exchange of ideas is part of the game. It is ok to get stuck, be passionate, and reach impasse. That is all part of being creative, exploring ideas, and problem solving. Let people know that you know sometimes getting stuck is part of the process and getting stuck is not a game ender. Let them know that you want to work through it. Believing Silence = Harmony. It isn’t. Silence means that people have either checked out or are too intimidated to bring it forward. If you ask a question and get nothing, ask “what am I DECEMBER 2019

to take from your silence?” Then shut up and listen. Insisting on “your way”. Your way works for you. It has worked for you enough that you are in the position to influence the organization. Here, I want to distinguish between the Goals (Having a workplace which is productive and free of damaging conflict) and Process. In the book Clutch: Excel Under Pressure Paul Sullivan illustrates the difference between Goal and Process. The Goal is the ultimate result. The method used to get there. Great leaders can adapt the process to meet the goal. Sometimes this means backing away from your preferred process to include others. Sometimes it means getting outside of your comfort zone. Remember it is your way-your preference. Your way is not the only way. Trying to do it all yourself / failure to delegate. No one can do it all. It maybe your responsibility, but it need not be entirely your work. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “but it is just faster for me to do it myself.” Yes, for the short term. In the long term by failing to delegate work, you are short changing the development of your management skills and denying employees the opportunities to advance their skill sets. Is it scary? Yes. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. Is it risky? Yes. Can the risk be minimized? Yes. Why should you delegate? Simple. If you do not learn to appropriately delegate tasks, you are disempowering your staff, encouraging learned helplessness, victimization and resentment. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

Instead, determine what you can delegate, who you can delegate it do THEN how you can delegate it safely. Failing to get help. You can’t and should not do it all. Help may come from a trusted advisor, a close colleague who is willing to raise the B.S. flag to you, from a friend to whom you can vent or a mentor. Addressing conflict is often uncomfortable and unfamiliar. You may have the desire to jump in but nature and complexity of the conflict may put you out of your depth. Seek help. So any of these look familiar? Which ones are most prevalent in your workplace, your home or volunteer group? Look around; reflect on what you see and what others are telling you. Determine what actions you can take to become a leader that is conflict competent. Remember, leaders are leaders because people chose to follow them. Meaning that you have the ability to be a leader- a person of influence- no matter what your position. So go on. Give it a whirl. You just might find that you are good at it. Let me know how it goes. I am only a call, tweet, email, shout for help away.

Organizations hire Conflict Management Strategies, Inc. to increase productivity by easing workplace conflict and tension, to train employees in conflict resolution skills, to evaluate internal conflict resolution processes, to coach key employees to higher levels of performance and to facilitate tangible change within the working environment. NMSN Magazine

Authentic Branding for the Micro-preneur BY NANCY BELMONT

f you’re starting or building a business, it’s important that you know who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up in the world. It sounds simple, but it’s actually not that easy. Do you know what brings you meaning and fulfillment? Do you understand what motivates you? Do you know your values? Your purpose? If you said no to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Most people I talk with haven’t had the tools or taken the time to answer these questions for themselves or their businesses. Your Storyline If you want to build a more authentic brand, the first place to start is to discover your storyline. Are you a Hero? An Explorer? A Magician? A Creator? Once you know which of twelve storylines you are, you can start to use more inspired language and be more strategic about how you live into a consistent and spirited brand. You can take a free assessment that identifies your top scoring storyline here.

brand. You can imagine that a company that values creativity behaves very differently than a company that values focus. I’ve created a free downloadable e-book for you to start uncovering the values that are already operating in yourself and your business. Once you identify your values you can become much more intentional about living into them. Your Why The third step is to get really clear on your WHY. What is your reason for being besides making money? This is a noble purpose; something that will inspire you and your employees to get up every morning. It’s also

Here’s wishing you a 2020 filled with authenticity, abundance and joy! Nancy Belmont is the CEO of Vessence Corporation (formerly Belmont, Inc.) and leader of the #WeLiveBig community. Nancy focuses her work on promoting human flourishing, continually inspiring authenticity and increasing individual and collective consciousness for a more unified, vibrant world. Vessence works with individuals, teams and organizations to find their essence and give it voice through words, images and actions. Nancy believes that once people and teams identify their unique selves, and live into that more fully, they can have more impact and feel more fulfilled. Nancy works with individuals who want to flourish as leaders, teams who want to build community and organizations who want to grow authentic brands.

Your Values The next step is to get really clear on your values. It’s important to know your values and let them lead your engagement with customers, suppliers and employees. Your values build your culture and help your customers know exactly what to expect from your 10 | NMSN Magazine

something that connects deeply with your customers. When you are all working toward making the world a better place in a specific way, you build engagement, loyalty and community around your brand. If you want to learn more about your WHY, listen to Simon Sinek’s TED talk, “How great leaders inspire action.”

Over the years, Nancy has worked with United Way Worldwide, the Global Fund to End Slavery, the Architect of the Capitol, The U.S. Army, The British Embassy’s British Council and ExxonMobil, to name a few. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Five Things to Do Right Now on LinkedIn BY AMY SCHOFIELD

e all know that networking is crucial to your job search and online networking via LinkedIn is becoming ever more important these days. In order to reap the maximum benefits of LinkedIn, you need to do more than simply fill out your initial profile and “set it and forget it”. Here are five things to do right now on LinkedIn that can be helpful to your job search. •

Review and update your current profile: When was the last time you updated your LinkedIn profile? If it has been more than six months ago, it is time to review your profile. Do you have your current position on there? What

are your biggest accomplishments since the last time you updated your profile? Did you join any professional associations or obtain any certifications that aren’t listed yet? What new skills have your acquired? Is your location correct? Even listing the wrong location can have potential negative consequences to your job search because recruiters can search by zip code to narrow down their candidate pool. Spend some time updating your profile to reflect a current snapshot of yourself. •

Invite ten new people to connect with you: The main driver behind LinkedIn is the connections you have. If a hiring manager performs a search for a candidate with a specific skill set, they will be able to see people’s profiles who share the same connections. People they are connected with show up first in their search, followed by people with shared connections, followed by people with third-level connections. Therefore, connecting with the right people in the right fields can be beneficial to your job search. Be sure to personalize your invitations as you seek out new connections as a personalized note is more courteous and memorable.

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Ask three people who know your work well for a recommendation: While your profile sells you, your recommendations back you up. If a recruiter is looking at LinkedIn profiles for two different candidates, but one profile has rave reviews about the person from their boss or people they have worked with and the other profile has no recommendations, the recruiter may be swayed to interview the person who has the better recommendations. Think about who you know who can speak highly of your talents and reach out to them via LinkedIn for a recommendation.

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Join two groups and answer one question in a group: Joining groups composed of people with a similar background can help you in two LinkedIn continued on page 12

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ways: 1) It will allow you to connect with people in your industry who you may not otherwise know; and 2) Responding to a question in a group demonstrates your authority on a topic. That’s a good thing when it comes to your job search! •

Read your news feed and comment on at least three updates: Commenting on updates shows that you are engaged with your professional contacts. When you comment on someone’s update, a link to your profile with your headline shows up on others’ feeds. If your headline includes “Public Relations Professional” and one of your third-level connections is looking for someone with that background, then they may reach out to you and all you had to do was comment on someone’s post.

Just like with any social media platform, you will want to remain active on LinkedIn and check in regularly to gain visibility.

One last note: always remember that LinkedIn is a public platform so do your due diligence with what information you share and who you share it with and review your privacy settings regularly.

A CAREER THAT FITS YOUR LIFE “Finding a job can be a challenge for military spouses. So finding a rewarding, portable career that allowed me to help military families while still taking care of my own family was truly a blessing.” GET YOUR NEXT CAREER SQUARED AWAY firstcommand.com/wehireleaders bit.ly/LinkedInFCJobs 877-601-5783 CHERYL ZUDELL U.S. Coast Guard spouse. First Command Advisor since 2004. ©2019 First Command Financial Services, Inc. parent of First Command Financial Planning, Inc. (Member SIPC, FINRA), First Command Advisory Services, Inc., First Command Insurance Services, Inc. and First Command Bank. Securities and brokerage services are offered by First Command Financial Planning, Inc., a broker-dealer. Financial planning and investment advisory services are offered by First Command Advisory Services, Inc., an investment adviser. First Command Financial Services, Inc. and its related entities are not affiliated with, authorized to sell or represent on behalf of or otherwise endorsed by any federal employee benefits programs referenced, by the U.S. government, or the U.S. armed forces.

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HR for Small Business BY JULIE WATERS

ntrepreneurs know to surround themselves with people who have expertise that is different from their own. Having an HR person in that mix is no exception. Whether you are a solo-preneur or you work for a company that hires freelancers, you should have the HR needs of a small business in mind before you begin your engagement. There are obvious reasons to use a freelancer to supplement your small business, particularly if you do not have the obvious expertise for a project on your staff. A freelancer can also give you a larger frame of reference to fix problems, and they have made their mistakes on someone else’s dime. Use freelancers to make a short-term jump for a larger effect. An entrepreneur does need to know the differences between employees and independent contractors. There is litigation surrounding accusations of unpaid wages, including overtime and violations of the National Labor Relations Act. There are also tax issues and statutory benefits like worker’s comp and paying for unemployment to be concerned with. Not to mention the benefits that come with regular employment like insurance and retirement plans. Some basics on determining the difference between employees and independent contractors is who has control of the HOW of DECEMBER 2019

the work, the work environment, and if the work is outside the normal course of business. If you hire someone that works on your equipment, on your schedule, with your rules, in your office; then you have an employee and need to treat them as such. If you hire someone to complete a project, on their own computers, at any time within the deadline you set, and at any place they feel is appropriate to do the work; then you have an agreement with an independent contractor. For example, if I run an accounting office, and I hire someone to design my webpage, then it is likely a contractor relationship. If I hire a bookkeeper to handle some clients, then it is likely I have an employee. If you hire an independent contractor, you should probably issue a Form 1099 to them and file it with the IRS the next January. Make sure you get the information to be able to complete the Form 1099 when you make the hire. This will be a Tax ID number or a Social Security number. For an employee, they would complete a W-4 form and you will issue them a W-2 each January. Aside from those annual tax forms, you will also be required to file quarterly 941 forms and you will need to pay payroll taxes each quarter. Those payroll taxes nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

include the employer portion of Social Security and MediCare, the employees’ portion of the same, as well as the withholding that the employee elects to have taken out of their check. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR ACCOUNTANT FOR MORE INFORMATION IF YOU PLAN TO HIRE EMPLOYEES!!! No matter what side of the freelancer relationship you are one, a good contract is the most important protection for your business. Be sure that timelines for both deliverables and for payment are clearly laid out. That way everyone’s expectations are met.

Julie was lucky enough to choose a career that easily transfers between employers as her husband’s assignments moved them from city to city. She holds a special interest in career building for military spouses as she feels it is important to have something personal outside of our military lifestyle. NMSN Magazine

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NMSN Summit Spread

as wonderful to see everyone at this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Military Spouse Career Summit! Thanks to our friends at First Command for sponsoring our Thursday night networking event. It was great to hear from representatives from non-profits, government and corporate sharing information about what it takes to get hired in their respective fields, what people can expect day to day and how to find opportunities. Wonderful to see people connecting over refreshments in a casual environment. Cannot think of a better way to kick off the summit events.

Attendees took the opportunity to ask our business mentors legal, accounting and resource questions, walking away with a list of things to look into for a more productive year ahead.

Friday saw us at the Arlington Economic Development Agency for a jam-packed day full of sessions geared towards entrepreneurs. Starting with goal setting and moving on to marketing and event tips, every session built on the other and the day culminated with a Business Hive Mind Panel.

Looking for more information about the sessions and speakers? Check out www.milspousesummit.com and join us October 2020 for the next Military Spouse Career Summit! Hope to see you there!

Then finally on Saturday, we settled in for a day of inspirational presentations on everything from compensation negotiation and self-care to personal branding. By the end of the day, everyone was fully bonded, exchanging information and already making plans to get together again. Another successful summit in the books and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all already looking forward to the next one.

Photo Credit: Trish Alegre-Smith of So Your Life Images for NMSN

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Friday s Busines p m Bootca

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y Saturdar Caree Success Toolkit

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Know Before You Launch Lesson 1: Diligent Public Relations BY CHRISTINA CRAWFORD

f you are considering going into business for yourself, there are many things to know ahead of time. Things that I wish someone had warned me…I mean told me before making the entrepreneurial plunge. One is that diligent public relations is the cornerstone of all businesses. As a business owner, you won’t be able to avoid it people are everywhere. I can think of only a few jobs out there where you do not have to work with and deal with people. Even at my quiet desk job as a tax accountant, I was on the phone with clients, financial brokers and IRS representatives and conducted business face to face with clients who still liked to walk into a brick and mortar establishment.

mystified. You do not know how to get out and you might find yourself sick with the unexpected turns. Now what if you were briefed before going into the funhouse? You enter, sure, you will still see things for the first time, but you will expect them and know how to handle the obstacles, you will not be distracted by the mysterious illusions. You will trust that you will not get sick from the unexpected turns because you see them coming. You plan how to move across the moving floor

As a military spouse, I’ve taken jobs in several career fields as my family jetted around the globe. I was in retail, I was a Greyhound Bus Stewardess, I became a certified fitness instructor, I helped soldiers and their families with emergency relief and family budgeting, and I succeeded in a homebased business once my family grew. Maybe some military spouses can relate with this “Jackie of all Trades” style resume. In all, I have had to work with and deal with many types of people. The better you are at it, the better you are at job performance and client relations. As a business owner, client relations take on a whole new dimension. The relationship between the owner and the customer is much more complicated because it directly effects company profit. Happy customers shop and return to shop again. They come back with friends. If the customer is not happy, then the owner is not. Not knowing how to appease customers correctly can be the downfall of a business. Think of it this way: you go into a carnival funhouse and there are surprises around every corner. You laugh, you gasp, and you are 16 | NMSN Magazine

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with fast, giant steady steps. You make it through and think, “THAT was rewarding.” You went through it fast and perhaps broke all kinds of records. You believe you can do it again better next time. Your own business will be like that funhouse. One of the challenges is relating with people. There are so many types of people. Some are nice, some are memorable, and some become friends. Some people are unremarkable, meaning they flow in and out of your day, they are easy and then they are gone. Some people arrive with heavy misanthropic attitudes that can ruin your day. They are unhappy before they deal with anyone. They feel it is their duty to drag a company down over the slightest incidental. They exist and they will find you! Unhappy people can take quite a toll on an owner’s psyche. Even the strongest of humans can feel this penetrate deep within and cause a negative reaction. People are everywhere and we cannot avoid interactions…especially in business. Everyone likes to know the owner. Get out there and meet them. Deal with the tough customers with a smile. You do not have to like everyone, but you may find even find yourself developing solid relationships and friendships. Bottom line: keep good customer relations paramount and you will benefit from it.

Military spouse, Christina Crawford graduated from The Kings College in New York. Christina was successful in finding paid work every time she moved, finding her tax preparation skills and her aerobics instructor certification were particularly marketable. Ultimately, she worked direct sales for Stampin’ Up, selling craft supplies at home parties. She became one of their top producers, was elected to the company’s Advisory Board and assisted the company with Compensation programs. She kept that position as she moved from base to base for 20 years, then retired.. After her husband retired from the Army, the family settled in Northern Virginia. Christina and her daughter owned and operated Chic Envy Consignment Boutique for 9 years. This was a successful venture that allowed Christina to hire other military dependents, train them, and give back to the community. Most recently, Christina was recruited to a new direct sales company, EVER, and has been promoted four times in three months. She’s planning to stay with this company and help others become successful with it too. DECEMBER 2019

Who is in Your Kitchen Cabinet? BY JULIE WATERS

ou read that right, I said Who, not What. I am not talking about the goofy stuff that the movers packed during your last PCS (full garbage cans anyone?). I am talking about the smart people in your life. Who are your trusted advisers? Who do you call to talk to when you have a big decision to make? And why is it so important to listen closely to their feedback to move your career or your life on to the next step? The history of cabinet government goes way back to 11th century England where a group of prominent men offered advice to the monarch. The Kitchen Cabinet term came about during Andrew Jackson’s presidential term as a description for the collection of unofficial advisers he consulted at the same time he was consulting his government cabinet, or the Parlor Cabinet. Whether official or not, we all need to have trusted people we can turn to when we need help with a decision. If you are an entrepreneur, having a Kitchen Cabinet will help with that feeling of being alone when it comes to running your business. While the ultimate decision is yours to make, sharing problems and

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solutions with like-minded people will certainly help. You can’t possibly think of every good answer, so your cabinet members can help you fill in the blanks, particularly when it comes to your weak spots. Though you may not call it a cabinet, if you are working in the corporate world, it is likely that you already have a team of trusted co-workers, even if they are not in your chain of command that you go to for their expertise. Those people that you respect and admire because of their knowledge, work ethic, or way of looking at the industry will contribute to your department with a simple conversation. Imagine what you can do if you were to formalize those meetings! Particularly when it comes to collaborating on a companywide project. For your personal life, it is likely that you already have an informal network of friends that you have come to rely on. As a military spouse and all the moves that go with that moniker, you have built many relationships with so many different types of people. How can you use those relationships to better your current situation? You may have different groups talking about different topics. Talking to some other small business owners about marketing, while talking to

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a group of parents about financial aid for college. These are your networks and you use them in very different, very specific ways. Aside from all of the “fixes” that a cabinet may help provide, being around others, particularly the smart people in your life, will help you to become more well-rounded, better informed and thinking at a higher level in general. However remember that good listening skills will immensely enhance what is gained from your groups. So who would be in your Kitchen Cabinet? What can each person bring to the table to help you accomplish your goals? Maybe your goal is simply to have a conversation - problems and solutions will grow organically as that conversation moves along. And starting this talk will not only be helpful to you. While you may be setting up a cabinet for your benefit, others will certainly gain from it as well. Very much like networking, you are there to help others, contribute ideas for other people’s issues. Julie was lucky enough to choose a career that easily transfers between employers as her husband’s assignments moved them from city to city. She holds a special interest in career building for military spouses as she feels it is important to have something personal outside of our military lifestyle.

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Teamwork Makes the Dream Work BY JANET FARLEY

re you truly a good team player? Or is that just some soft-skilled catch phrase that you put that on your resume without giving its meaning careful thought? Maybe it’s time to step back and give it some meaningful thought. Let’s try again. Are you truly a good team player? When you look up the word, teamwork, you’ll see an expected definition: “the combined action of a group of people, especially when effective and efficient.” Translate “combined action of a group of people” and you might sense that the concept of collaboration is somehow involved and you would be right.

heads are better than one. More heads are even better. A network becomes genius but as members of the NMSN, you probably suspect that already. Pooling those braincells can produce creative and farreaching solutions for nearly any project making you a much better problem-solver. Icing on the cake? Employers likes to hire people who can fix things. You develop an appreciation for others who don’t think like you. You may be brilliant but you can still learn so much from someone who thinks differently than you or who comes from a different background than you. Living la vita military may have already taught you that. We’ll call that a win if so!

Teamwork involves collaboration and that is something you have to be good at in our current workforce if you want to be successful. It will be a one you absolutely must have to thrive in the workforce of tomorrow where soft skills are predicted to make a stunning comeback in importance where automation will be king.

You can accomplish more tasks faster. Once you get in the groove of working with others on a team effectively, you can get more done. Or not. It may mean that you can spend more time on one aspect you enjoy without sacrificing progress on the overall project and that’s a cool thing, too. Each team you work on may have a unique dynamic. It is key to identify what that dynamic is and how you can best work with it as soon as possible to be the most effective as a whole. You communicate more effectively with those around you. When you work with others to achieve a common goal and you succeed, that’s a sure sign you communicated well. Words are so important. They control everything. Whether you are looking for a new job or trying to advance in your career, the ability to be a good team player is more important now than it has ever been.

When you join forces with others to achieve a common goal, on the job or not, you reap notable benefits, individually and as a team: You become so much smarter. It’s true what they say. Two DECEMBER 2019

You extend your reach. When you are a real team player, you get around organizationally speaking. This means your network is bigger and you can reach further outside of your cubicle to gain valuable assistance when you need it to advance yourself professionally or a project you may be working on.

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5 Ways To Give Your Military Spouse Goals A Little More Mojo BY KRISTA WELLS

ilitary spouses often put their own goals on hold while they support their spouses and families. When it finally becomes their turn, they often need to rediscover their mojo to get things going again and believe they can achieve their goals. That’s where these tips come in. If you already have your goals written down but aren’t sure where to start, consider using all five senses to spark your motivation.

#1:

Start Each Day Visualizing Success

As you sip your morning coffee, enjoy five minutes of solitude and imagine your ideal future. By seeing the person you want to become, you subconsciously attract success toward you and become more motivated to take action steps. Some of my clients even like to name their future selves—artist Julia Cameron uses the term “cinema self” to refer to her ideal self of the future, and I love to follow this model.

an urge to invite an old friend to lunch and pick her brain regarding your upcoming interview or new business idea. By listening to this small voice, taking action will be so much easier. As you follow through with each hunch and see some positive outcomes, you’ll start to trust that your mojo is back—and this momentum will become contagious. Our auditory senses can help us stay positive and open to success in so many ways. We can encourage ourselves through taking in useful, motivational material while also thanking the nagging voice in our head at times. But sometimes we just need to tell that voice to buzz off when it becomes a negative force. Experiment with when you’re most in tune with these hunches to figure out when you can best hear that little voice that motivates you to take action. Is it while you’re lying in bed in the morning, taking a shower, driving, or something else entirely? Stay tuned in to your inner voice to help get things moving.

One client took a picture of her vision board and had it made into a coffee mug so she could remind herself of what she wants right when she wakes up and sips her coffee. Get creative and think of a way to picture your ideal lifestyle and meditate on this image everyday until it becomes a reality.

#2:

Listen to That Small Voice

Listen for hunches as you sip your coffee, imagine what your future looks like, and consider taking action steps aligned with your goals. You may be jotting down your list of things to do for the day, but listening to your inner voice will allow you to bring in a little spontaneity. While you’re taking some time for yourself in the morning you may get 20 | NMSN Magazine

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#3:

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

The expression, “Stop and smell the roses” is about perfecting the present as we pursue new goals, and I love this concept. What scents help ground you and allow you to stay focused on accomplishing success? When I set my coffee maker on automatic and wake up to that delicious coffee smell, I feel like I can take on the day! By bringing fragrances we adore into our lives, we create sacred spaces for our goals to flourish. I’ve started talking more and more about the power of scent with my clients—smells play such a huge role in our relationships, our health, and our wisdom. I have clients think about their favorite flowers, candles, or perfumes. If they “had it all,” I ask them, what would their signature scents be? Maybe their offices would have fresh flowers every week or would be infused with relaxing lavender aromatherapy. What smells inspire you to move forward on your goals? Decide to purposefully add scents into your life that inspire you into action.

#4:

Remember That Your Words Are Your Wand (and Be Ready to Taste Your Words!)

Try Shaking Things Up by Getting Physical

When I have writer’s block, I take a long walk to get the juices flowing; it totally works. Getting physical and drawing on your sense of touch can really make a difference as you work to establish new routines. One client gave the example of standing up when making sales calls. She sees better results when she’s physically engaged in a task. By engaging our bodies, we effectively get the ball rolling, and soon enough we’re quickly on our way to achieving our dreams. One of the best remedies for anxiety is physical action. Our sense of touch reminds me how important exercise and action is for mental health. Yoga, stretching, and other physical exercises can activate our success muscles and infuse our goals with some much-needed mojo. We get in the rhythm of moving and then begin to see that goal moving forward. This week, work on noticing when you feel stuck and bring in some movement to shake that feeling. Try blaring some motivational music and just start moving around until your anxiety eases.

Go Get Your Mojo Back!

Just like it’s important to pay attention to the external messages you allow into your life, it’s also essential to pay attention to internal messages—our own words. I use the “taste” metaphor to remind us of the words we use—after all, we’re sometimes made to “eat” our words, and we can often feel the aftertaste of something we regret saying even weeks later. As you put your other five senses into action, develop a motivating mantra to bring your vision into your vocabulary. It could be as simple as, “I am ready for success!” The words we meditate on, and the vocabulary we use when we speak, can become a reality in our life. I often tell clients to pay attention to their self-talk and use words that make them feel more motivated. This week try out some positive affirmations as you begin your day by looking in the mirror and saying, “I am worthy of success!” (or insert your own affirmation here). You’ll be surprised at what a difference these few words can make. The more you practice repeating these affirmations, the more natural it will feel. DECEMBER 2019

#5:

My hope is that these exercises based on the five senses will help give you a little nudge of motivation and bring some of your awesome, kick-butt military spouse mojo back. Put them into practice and start working your way towards achieving any goal you desire. Here’s to your success!

Dr. Krista Wells is a certified professional coach dedicated to empowering military spouses. In her private practice, she focuses on improving her clients’ health, increasing their wealth, and strengthening their relationships. In addition to her private clients, Krista offers keynote speeches, workshops for organizations and military bases, and writes for various military publications. She recently launched The Military Spouse Show podcast in an effort to expand her reach and connect with the broader military spouse community.

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Standing Out in a Crowd BY TRISH ALEGRE-SMITH

ow others can find you in the crowd of the “megaconvention”

I was one of 10,000+ people in attendance and this was my first conference of the year. It was hard enough to find my room in the 700,000 square feet of the Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center let alone figure out how I was going to connect with other attendees—and stand out somehow. Compare this to the annual National Military Spouse Network Milspouse Summit that caps attendance at around 100 attendees to keep things intimate and approachable and this task seemed daunting if not impossible. So what was my plan? Step 1: Connect on social media ahead of time. With so many attending and less than a week for the

convention I needed to re-think my approach to “meeting” people. First action was to follow and start using the convention hashtags (#imagingusa and #imagingusa2018) on social media—posting what I was doing to prepare for the trip and engaging with others who were using the same hashtags. Second action was to follow convention speakers and vendors on social media (e.g. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter) who I wanted to see while I was there. Step 2: Decide what I wanted to accomplish. This convention was my most expensive professional conference of the year when travel and lodging costs were included. Every dollar and minute spent mattered. What did I want to get out of this experience? Not only did I want to meet peers in my industry but connect with others that would continue to inspire me and push me to grow. I also wanted to meet vendors and take the time to personally thank those who helped me when I first started my business. Finally, I wanted to explore potential collaborations with other attendees with similar goals. Step 3: Arrive early. “To be early is to be on time; to be on time is to be late.” These words echoed in my head during my days in Air Force ROTC! And

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it still applies when it comes to large conventions like these. I took advantage of pre-convention classes and workshops to “get ahead of the wave” that was coming when the convention officially kicked off. Guess who also shows up early? Speakers and vendors—making it more likely I’d meet them before everyone else. Step 4: Be myself. For those who have met me I’m not a “look-at-me” kind of person—I’m closer to being described as an “introverted extrovert.” This presented a unique challenge as I traveled solo and didn’t really know anyone there. It also presented an opportunity. I had no obligations and no other choice but to get to know the new people that I met— especially if we were in the same classes and hotel and mutually wanted to avoid meals at a “table for one.” It felt more natural for me to connect like this and made conversations flow easier. It didn’t feel like “networking” as much as getting to know potential friends. At the end of the week I accomplished everything that I wanted to do—and it wasn’t as hard or as scary as I thought it would be. I’m looking forward to my next conference—even though it won’t nearly be as large as this one. Trish Alegre-Smith is a visual artist who creates images that share your story--for both your personal and professional life. Featured as a Standout Air Force Veteran and Spouse in Military Officer Magazine in 2018, she is a professional headshot, branding and corporate event photographer in the Washington, D.C. metro area. DECEMBER 2019

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