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2014 Fall Special Double Cover Issue

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SWEET SPOT NATION Take a ride on this high energy, heartpounding, fist pumping, laugh-out-loud POP EROTICA experience. Sweet Spot Nation’s unique band of artist unite to create a steamy stage show.

All Sweet Spot Photo’s courtesy of Derrick of www. & Sweet Spot Nation


Upscale Desires Magazine • • 5



18 Spiritual Orgasm

The Relationship Master Michael Santonato helps us to understanding THE LIMITS THAT WE PLACE ON OURSELVES and the meaning of making a connection in order to find sexual healing.

23 Happy Husband

The way your man sees sex, is quite different from your perception of sex. It means much more to your husband than to you.

36 Love at Any Age

Two women in their 20’s and 30’s talk about what it means and what it takes to fall in love at their age.

12 IN EVERY ISSUE 07 Editor 09 First Desires 10 Author’s Corner 21 Fitness 22 Money 36 Beauty 38 Last Desires 6 • Upscale Desires Magazine •







Note from the Editor

Editor In Chief “My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.” Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”__ Paulo Coelho

As leaders in intimacy, we have the pleasure of featuring stories that make an impact and are intriguing. This Double Cover issue is overflowing with great tips and tools in improve your overall life. The ten reason to make love to your husband is a stand out article.

This month has been filled with so much growth and excitement. I am happy to introduce the creative mind of Ainsley and his team of Sweet Spot Nation. Having the honor to grace their stage was truly a highlight of my summer.

Finally we celebrate a milestone in the arena of exotic entertainer as Young Rider rings in 20 years of pleasure. He talks about taking entertainment to the pinnacle of success.

UPSCALE READING & LEARNING The Alchemist is the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. From his home in Spain he journeys to the markets of Tangiers and across the Egyptian desert to a

fateful encounter with the alchemist. Every few decades a book is published that changes the lives of its readers forever. The Alchemist is such a book.

Nikeema Lee,

Art Director

Upscale Desires Design,


Ron Huntley,


Sales Office

Nikeema Lee (973) 531-7545

Get a free copy when you log in to Upscale Desires Magazine • • 7

Contributors THE SEX CEO Shannel The Sex CEO’s for 9 years she has been empowering women to live their best sexual life. Fun for 1 or 2 is always fair game, but a sense of knowing and loving yourself is the real secret to sexual pleasure.  She has been featured on Kiss FM in NYC; with guest appearances on BlogTalk radio shows Complete Chocolate Couples and Bag Ladies Live. 

KIP MAZUY Kip Mazuy is the founder of Bliss Music & Creator of Ocean Euphoric, an audio program repeatedly proven to put the listener into a deep states of peace & bliss for meditation & relaxation.

MICHAEL SANTONATO The Relationship Master a man who helps frustrated and stuck singles find a great partner and keep a great relationship! A Public Speaker and International Best Selling co-author of the books, “Sexy Secrets to A Juicy Love Life” and “Single & Stuck: 3 Massive Mistakes Women Make in Their 30’s”.

TAMIKA SIMS Tamika L. Sims is an author, advocate, speaker, survivor, and creative entrepreneur. Originally from South Carolina, Tamika survived a physically, sexually and emotionally abusive relationship of eight years. She released The Plus Factor, a memoir in September 2011. Winning the 2012 BWABC Literacy Rocks! Author of the Year Award as a result.


3Dr. Bizness, BD - Innovative, Profit-Oriented, Top Performing ENTREPRENEUR, AUTHOR and Problem Solver: With an outstanding record to prove it, Dr. Bizness leads organizations to maximize their operations and reduce expenses there-by increasing profits.

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Driving Focus on Purpose With as many times I’ve quit and yes I quit, with each restart, there is still one thing that remains true… my focus to succeed. Having an unyielding driving focus on my desire to be successful, to an absolute without question driving focus is what keeps me in the game. Be FETCH Driving Focus on Purpose I don’t care how many books you read to listen to. It doesn’t matter how many seminars or workshops you attend. Any expert, coach or guru worth their catch phrase will tell you that in order to be succeed in any endeavor in life you must have a driving focus. Napoleon Hill, the Father of selfhelp and personal development, refers to this as having a burning desire. Go FETCH In anything that you do always begin with a focus that drives you. Allow it to motivate you. There will always be obstacles that come your way. It will be your driving focus that will keep you steady and on course to dream fulfillment.



Chapter Four Hell’s Kitchen “Hell is a place, a time, a consciousness, in which there is no love.” —Richard Bach I walked into the house slowly as I was not sure what to expect. He had certainly been mad before, but tonight was different. I put my purse down and stood around in the kitchen, waiting for him to get there. There was no way for me to avoid the unavoidable, so whatever was coming my way, I was prepared. I heard his car pull into the driveway. He approached the door, and I heard him turn the lock to walk in; I had not bothered locking the door, as there was no need. As he walked into the house with his youngest son, he told his son to have a seat on the couch in the den and watch television until it was time for the both of them to leave. “You must think I am crazy!” he shouted at me. Flabbergasted, I said, “What are you talking about?” He then went on to say, “So you mean to tell me I did not see them walk up to you, whisper something in your ear, you turn around, start laughing, and then walk off? Who is the fool? Am I the fool, Tamika?” To which my response was, “What do you mean, are you the fool? What are you talking about?” The next words that came out of his mouth were shocking. “I am going to BEAT you,” he said, and beat me he did. Because his youngest son was sitting in my den, he pulled me back to my bedroom. He grabbed me by my suit jacket and slammed me into the wall in my bedroom. At some point during all of

this, my chest was scratched and bruised really badly. A year and a half later, I still had some of this physical scarring. I tried to block the blows with my hands and arms by curling into the fetal position to ease the brunt of the punches that were repeatedly coming to my head. “Stop,” I begged. I pleaded with him, “I did not do anything.” My pleas went unanswered as he continued to punch and choke me. When Will It Stop? He released the hold he had on my neck, and I finally started to breathe again. He got up and left the room. I was not sure where he went; I was too emotional and crying too hard. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision. I looked up and there he stood again. He was coming back into the bedroom. I noticed something shiny in his hand, but it was down by his side, so I could not really identify what it was. As he got closer, I realized that it was a knife. Oh goodness! He is going to kill me, I told myself, and no one is around to hear my cries. He placed the knife by my head and proceeded to cut the mattress, sheets, and blanket that I had on my bed, right beside my face. I watched as the knife tore through the items and thanked God every minute that it was not tearing into my flesh. I received the message loud and clear, “I have the power in my hands for you to live or die. Which will you choose?” He stopped. He realized his son

was still in the other room. Then he demanded that I ride with him. Why? I was not sure. He knew that I could not call for help, because he had taken my and my son’s mobile phones. “I am not finished with you,” he said. I wiped my face so that his son would not know what had just happened or sense me being upset. I got off the bed and followed him to the car. We drove to his mom’s house, about fifteen minutes away. I have heard the saying that silence is golden, but during that fifteenminute drive, every minute of silence was more and more deathly. The only sounds I heard was the pounding of my heart in my eardrums. Faster and faster my heart beat. The funny thing is that I cannot remember breathing. As he let his son out of the car, he asked him to tell his mom that he would be back. He kissed his son good night and watched him walk to the door and into the house to make sure he got in okay.

Follow Tamika on Facebook: 10 • Upscale Desires Magazine •


1 Entertainer 5 Facts



Birth Place ||Paterson, New Jersey No matter what you do in your lifetime your first stop must be here. Paterson, New Jersey. Serving as the of home of Young Rider. Known as a mover and shaker at a very young age. Rider blossomed when he finally moved to East Orange. Newark, NJ is the place for his annual anniversary/ birthday celebration.

First Stop ||

Cover Model Make plans to catch up on all things Young Rider with a past issue of Upscale Desires Magazine. October 2011 when he first graced the cover of our pages. Young Rider was again featured in our Upscale Desires Ladies Magazine. Our #1 Cover Man

40/20 Bash|| All Black Everywhere

Young Rider has been killing stages all across the Northern Hemisphere for 20 years. This year should be no different. When asked “Coco Mango” is not sure how much longer he will be in the game. We here at Upscale Desires Magaizine know one thing for sure, he will be a beast in any arena

Party with a purpose|| Breast Cancer Awareness Its not just about taking off your clothes. This years Bash will feature an opportunity to give back to the every women who have supported him all his career. “SAVE THE WOMEN, NOT THE BOOBIES” is a campaign to bring awareness to breast cancer and how it can be beaten. Young Rider is truly a T.A.G. (A Thug and a Gentleman)

Family First ||

All in the Family Making time for his wife and four (4) kids is a priority. He credits the strength of his wife in keeping him focus. He admits it can be hard to be away from your family so much but for Rider, his family is the reason why he grinds so hard.


Motivational Even Superman has to take his cape to the cleaners

Adventures in Awesome Living

by Sunil Bali, Chief Energy Officer

Quotes I do nothing and then I do something. But it’s taken years of investigating idleness in all its forms to be able to achieve this. My discipline is borne out of concerted study of idleness – Will Self You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet – Franz Kafka

I was at a dinner party with some medics yesterday, when the conversation turned to stress in the work place. It transpires that the waiting rooms of doctor’s surgeries are overflowing with stressed out managers and executives who complain of too much work and too little time. Whether you’re Superman or Wonder Woman, there comes a time when you have to take your cape to the cleaners and slow down before putting it back on.

14 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world – Oscar Wilde An idle mind is a questioning, skeptical mind. Hence it is a mind not too bound up with ephemeral things, as the minds of workers are. The idler, then, is somebody who separates himself from his occupation: there are many people scarcely conscious of living except in the exercise of some conventional occupation – Robert Louis Stevenson

Relationships What to Do If you Happen to Fall in LOVE With Two Men at the Same Time By Cucan Pemo


f you are finding yourself torn between two men, this can be a very tough time for you. You will have a lot of questions that you are going to have to ask yourself and take the time to carefully sort through them to figure out what is right for you. This is going to be something that you will have to address because it is not a healthy relationship to have.

You will have to decide if what you are doing is good for you. Is it possible for you to have a healthy and loving relationship with two men at the same time? Are you going to be able to choose one over the other? These are things that you have to think about and then you have to think about them some more. You can be in love with two men at one time, but it is not something that you can act upon without getting yourself hurt. Top reasons why we can fall in love with two people at the same time It is possible to fall in love with two people at the same time. When you find that you are having feelings for two people at the same time, this can be a very difficult time. You may be having some feelings of love in the same way for these two people. This is going to be something that you will have to lay out on the table in front of you so that you can see where your feelings are coming from. It is possible to be in a loving relationship and still find yourself having feelings for someone else. This is completely normal and it may just be temporary. Maybe this other person has done something nice for you or has shown you some kind of interest for one reason or another. This may trigger some

emotional feelings towards this person and you may not understand why or how you can stop them. There may be two people that are so very different from each other but for some reason they both have caught your attention and you like them for separate reasons. This is possible and you will have to come to terms with which one is going to be better for you. You must think about your feelings for both people and why you are having these feelings. How do I determine which one is the right mate for me? You may wander how you are ever going to decide between the two people. You will have to figure out which person is right for you. This will take a lot of thinking on your part. You will have to figure out what it is you want to have in life. What type of life do you want and which person will be better for you. You will have to spend some time with both of the people so that you can better determine which person you have more of a connection with. Attraction is the main reason why people want to be together. They may have some sort of physical or emotional attraction for the other person. When this is the case, you have to dig down deeper and find out if there is another reason why you are so infatuated with this person. You will need to spend time together talking and finding out about one another so that you can better determine who is going to be best for you. How do I make a wise decision without hurting both of them? If you think that it is best to be open with both of the people that you are attracted to,

you may find that this will end both relationships. Some may not take the news that you are in love with two people very well and they may decide to make the decision for you by ending it. If this is the case, you may have some relief knowing that the problem has now been solved and even though it is over, you may feel a little more relieved. This feeling may be one that you have anticipated for a long time. There are some people that just decide it is impossible to choose between the two and it is a wise choice to let them both go. This is going to be a hard decision to make; however, in some cases, it is the only possible outcome. You cannot string someone along and make him or her wait for you because you cannot make up your mind. You may have a strong connection with both partners, but you know that it is wrong and you have to do the right thing. The main thing that you need to remember is that you have to do what is best for you. It is important to make sure that you have your best interest in mind. You need to put yourself ahead of anyone else so that you can have it all and make all of your dreams come true. About the Author Cucan Pemo is the author and publisher of Bring Back the Love of Your Life!, Attract A True Love Secrets, 500 Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know!, 500 Secrets About Girls Every Guy Should Know! and \”You can Save your Relationship & Marriage\” (ebooks). She is also a freelance writer on parenting, family and working tips and strategies at

Upscale Desires Magazine • • 15




he journey to 13.1 begins like most other journeys, with the courage to take the first step. For me, the first step,was believing I could run such a distance. I signed up for my first half marathon shortly after I completed my first 5k. Diva Half Marathon was in Myrtle Beach and I would spend twelve weeks training. It wasn’t an easy twelve weeks, primarily because most of my longer runs took place in the middle of the week....

16 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

alone. My work schedule didn’t allow me to run the long distances with my friends who were also training for the same race. I am currently training for my 4th half marathon. The hardest part for me of a 13.1 race isn’t the race at all, it’s the training. It’s committing to 12-16 weeks of rearranging life and sleep around a training schedule. In the past, my training has consisted of

“I don’t run with my legs, I run with my heart”April Joy

three days of running. With the goal to improve my best race time by thirteen minutes, I opted for a more involved plan. I run five or six days a week, most days before sunrise. Committing to a training plan comes with sacrifice. The biggest sacrifices for me are my guilty pleasures....cupcakes

and cocktails. To stay mentally focused, I cut back on those things. But when the race is over, I do treat myself to a grand feast and a huge cocktail. It never seems easy to me, but each time I get better mentally and physically. On days when running seems difficult, I don’t run with my legs, I run with my heart. There’s only one feeling for me that beats completing a training plan and showing up at the START line and that’s crossing the finish. November 12....#IRUNTHISC1TY meets Rock N Roll Savannah.

Sexual Healing



s it possible? Well, I have this knack that it is. Heres the thing. I love people. I have a lot of love to give. I treasure my partners. I appreciate them. I love being with them. In their company. Hearing their voices. Feeling their touch. Their smell. Wow. I am excited just thinking about it. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to them for hours and hours. They are some of my best friends. I know and have known many incredible women. And I am lucky and grateful. So I have this idea. And this desire. This knocking that has been coming to me for over a year now. To help understand healing through sex. I know, I am sure this sounds crazy. And I bet at times it might occur to some others as misogynistic and that’s hardly the case. What I am talking about is coming through pure love. And it is through this pure love that I feel we can help heal each other through making love/having sex. I believe we can redeem and transform the false beliefs, the negative thoughts and stigmas that we have about ourselves; Our bodies, our pasts, our partners, our worth, what we deserve.

18 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

Who we can and cannot be with. What kind of love we can have or cant have in our life.

THE LIMITS THAT WE PLACE ON OURSELVES I want us to do away with as many of those as possible. And in the meantime, have wonderful, orgasmic, sensational, connected, spiritual, unhinging, incredible experiences. Through love making. Yes, through sex. I had a phenomenal sexual experience a while ago with a woman. I believe it was tantric. I’ve only experienced tantra twice, I’ve never done any course or anything like that... but I know of it and I have done a little reading. Anyway, I am spiritually connected myself. I meditate. I’ve raised the kundalini. I’m aware of my chakras. I’ve had spiritual experiences... so I know a little bit about what is there and what is possible. So this night several months ago, it was our 3rd get together, and our 3rd

round that evening. And each one became hotter and hotter, more and more satisfying, more pleasurable, more connected. I know that I’m not doing it justice right now, but I’m trying. When it happened, with each experience, I shook. I mean I shook. I hope we’ve all had climaxes where we shake and tremble and experience a convulsion of the body. But it’s a convulsion of pleasure and ecstasy. Of bliss. Of joy. Of connection.

WHAT A CONNECTION! Did I heal a part of me through this? It’s possible. Spiritually, from a kundalini perspective, when we hit the big O we are connecting to source. Our own kundalini energy shoots up through us, from our base chakra, (situated right where our genitals are - for reason) to our crown chakra at the top of our head. This life force energy called chi, (same thing) rises up through our bodies, and pours out this energy all over us, and all throughout our bodies.

This could be part of the reason why we feel such ecstasy, but also the warm feeling like ‘all is well and everything is perfect’ when we orgasm. And then we roll over. No wonder there are so many songs, stories and theories out there about ‘getting closer to god’ when we climax. This is a special energy and special force of nature that we all have inside of us and are capable of experiencing. It is written that the ancient Egyptians, pharaohs and such used to ankh their sexual energy. Yes ankh it. That means, they would take their sexual energy, the kundalini (same thing remember) and upon orgasm, they would bounce this sexual energy from an actual golden ankh and re-source that energy multiple times to bounce it and enhance its power off of the crown chakra to the ankh and back down to the root chakra. Then back up again. (Pretty wild eh?) This is indescribably powerful energy. Which is why they paid so much attention to it and used it in many different ways. I’ve also recently read that by raising the kundalini, we can experience more of our ‘remembering’ who we are... We can live better, healthier, more wholesome lives, living simpler and in the flow, just by raising the kundalini. By remembering who we are and why we came here, we become closer to our source.

ANYWAY! What I am saying is... There are a lot of people out there... Who are not feeling the love. Their own love. They are suffering from a lack of love - a distance from what is possible if you will. For love, sex and for humanity. Which saddens me honestly.... Love and sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world. And I just know we can impact that on a much greater scale. So that’s what I am called to do. To increase the self love and love as a whole on this planet. So lets do our part. HAVE SEX! HAVE LOTS OF SEX! Heal ourselves, heal each other! Fuck, screw, bang, do the deed, do the dirty, let it all hang out, and get freaky! You’ll heal yourself and others in the process. Have as much sex as possible. But of course, be safe. Its about opening up yourself to yourself, to your partner, and your true nature. Sexuality is our gift, our birth right. Don’t shy away from it. Embrace it along with your humanity, including your orgasms. About the Author “Michael Santonato is The Relationship Master a man who helps frustrated and stuck singles find a great partner and keep a great relationship! A Public Speaker and International Best Selling co-author of the books, “Sexy Secrets to A Juicy Love Life” and “Single & Stuck: 3 Massive Mistakes Women Make in Their 30’s”.

Upscale Desires Magazine • • 19


Information and Inspiration


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Fitness developments on gaining knowledge that encourage persons to broaden their minds further than zoning within complacent of personal growth.



ow many times have you either heard or tell yourself things such as…… “I will have time to take better care of my body later”, “I know what type of body I want”, “I know my body better than anyone else”, “You can take me the way I am or leave me”, “I don’t want a muscular body like those body builders, I just want to be tone and trim”, “We’re all going to die by something one day” etc. These self-comforting excuses avoid transforming to healthier lifestyle ties in with what is called ‘physical comfort zone’. Why wait until you get diagnosed with diabetes, high blood pressure or over-weight before you take your health more severe? Sometimes we don’t get the opportunity for a second chance to take better care of the ONE body we have. Understanding physical comfort zone! Physical comfort zone can be described as a state of mind by which an individual feels mostly comfortable mentally rather than physical freedom (committing and transforming your body into a healthier lifestyle). Perceptibly, physical appearance influences an

POWER individual’s mental comfort attributes and is presumed by the brain as safe and sound. For instance, an individual’s comfort zone might include relaxing and grilling at home 3-4 times a week and he or she could feel distinct unease if they have to do something else such as going to exercise at a gymnasium with a challenging partner which would likely create soreness due to muscular toning and development instead of rather just spending time at home grilling and consumption. Understanding comfort zone can and will assist in envision human behavior or reaction to conditions and be analyzed as a non-productive aspect in someone’s life. Lingering inside a comfort zone will hinder mental growth or contemplation towards any new ideas means someone life will remain unchanged. Deciding to take a chance and break away from the comfort zone is a positive personal growth in which basis shouldn’t be derived from critical unhealthy circumstances. Various health and wellness literatures frequently spotlight

Did you know that when someone decides to adjust their lifestyle to a healthier one, in order to obtain their goal, 70% is from healthy nutritious daily intake (food) while 30% is from their commitment and dedication to physical exercising? The first step to getting out of the physical comfort zone is through eating healthier then hitting the gym or hiring a personal trainer for at least 30 minutes twice per week. You’ll be amazed at how quickly your body will start to tone astoundingly and how much more energy you will develop. There is no time like present to start making transformation. Shola Rosanwo, Managing Director of sKulpt, LLC, Greensboro, NC, For more information: email: and

Upscale Desires Magazine • • 21

Money Dr. Bizness, BD – Radio/TV/Magazine Producer, Celebrity Radio Host, Author, Speaker, Coach/Consultant

Image source:


Change You’re Mind and Your Money Follows Become a successful business owner by remembering the Do’s & Don’t to significantly grow your business. When looking to excel to the next dimension pertaining to business development, changing your mindset is paramount. The customer and client relationship is extremely important and plays a significant role in how your business will grow and develop. The key is to change your mindset, in order to change cash flow. There is a song by En Vogue called “Free Your Mind” which says, “free your mind and the rest will follow…” Relating that to business, if you changed your mind (the way in which you

do business), increase, assets, & provision will follow. How do you go about changing your mind you ask?


Three simple but important things: Trust, Like, and Passion. As easy as it may sound let me break it down further. In order to have a relationship with your client, they MUST be able to trust you. There is no time for dishonesty, or half way jobs. You have to carry their trust like fine crystal…very carefully.

Charlotte, NC based Entrepreneur and CEO/Founder of Profit & Growth Unlimited, LLC Dr. Bizness can be contacted at 877-342-7770 or Ask us how we can make you money through FREE radio advertising Ask us how we can save you money through “Bartering”

22 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

Along with trust comes like. A person is only going to work with someone they like. Meaning, if your attitude is a turn off, it will show in your clientele, or lack thereof. Be welcoming, warm and genuine as it will be greatly appreciated, accepted, and acknowledged.


Last but not least, passion. The client should be able to feel your passion the instant you begin speaking. They should believe just because they’ve experienced how much you believe. Therefore, speak highly of your business at all times by accentuating the positive and acknowledging the growth needed in other areas. Just like I have 3 simple Do’s, I also have 3 simple Don’t s.

DON’T #1 DON’T OVER PROMISE AND/OR UNDER DELIVER. Long story short, say what you mean, and mean what you say. Failing to do so can result in diminishing trust.


Keep your business separate from your personal at all times and remember there is always someone watching you whether it be a client, a supervisor, or your competition. You never know, so always keep it professional.


Work like your life depended on it, and act like you love it as much as you say you do. Being completely honest with yourself not only helps your mind and body it helps your soul. According to the bible, Revelation 3:15-16, having a luke warm attitude is looked down upon. You need to pick either hot or cold. Straddling the fence and being “wishy washy” is not where you want to be. If you are running a lukewarm business, it will show in your bank account. Remember that changing your mindset in the areas of trust, like, and passion leads to success. So, change your mind and your money follows.



he way your man sees sex, is quite different from your perception of sex. It means much more to your husband than to you. He is passionate about it and might even be “crazy” about it. Sex affects the way every man reasons. Once you understand the importance of sex to your man, I am sure you will be able to go all out to satisfy him.



Have you ever noticed your man’s countenance after you might have given him a good dose of ingenuity and generosity of your body in the bedroom? Have you ever observed that he usually feels fulfilled and at rest after a good performance in bed? Great sex is good for your husband; it takes his body to its state of rest.



Do you want to see the best in your man? If yes, give him good sex regularly and see how he will respond to you with love, care and admiration. On the other hand, if you want the worst of him deny him sex and see the animal in your man.




Many men who find it difficult to have or sustain an erection think they are not “men enough” in their own eyes; hence, they have a bad self-image. On the other hand, a sexually satisfied man develops selfconfidence. Sex fulfills his manhood, makes him feel good about himself and makes him appreciate himself as a man.

A group of young men were presented with two options to choose from. To be amputated in one hand and leg or to die? They all answered that they preferred to be amputated than to die. Then they were asked if they’d rather die than become impotent. Almost 90% of them preferred to die than become impotent. That is the level of importance men attach to their sexuality. This elucidates the reason your man is “unnecessarily” angry when you deny him sex.

A sexually satisfied man is likely going to be a loving husband, which results in an intimate marriage full of CREATES A BOND BETWEEN A love and peace. Some unexplainable MAN AND HIS WIFE behaviors of your man can be traced The outcome of a vibrant sex life is a good married to the bedroom. Likewise, unusual care and display of great affection can life. It brings a man closer to his wife, enhances good communication and culminates in togetherness, also be traced to sexual fulfillment.


oneness, fondness and unity among couples.


Words are insufficient to describe how your husband feels when he encounters you in a fulfilling way. Sex arouses great commitment and physical explosion. His body system is renewed; his focus is shifted from his business or career to you.

Every gland and organ in his body seems to approach a climax, as he holds you tightly, speaks in esoteric languages, shouts, praises you and moans. This precipitates a great transfer of himself into you. He feels like he is enveloped in your body as he releases a powerful dose of semen into your “honey pot”. He can hardly describe his experience, all he can say is “I enjoyed it”. He is only permitted to share this experience with you, and you must be ready to give him your all. Never allow him to look elsewhere for it because such an action can be disastrous.


A sexually satisfied husband hardly looks outside for sex. If a woman is ingenious enough to give her best to her man and “milk” the best out of him, the man will be too satisfied to think of any other woman. More than 80% of men caught in infidelity claimed they experienced “sexual dryness” at home. A man once said, “It is difficult for a man to look outside when his sexual dreams are fulfilled at home as no man will steal popcorn outside after a sumptuous meal of fried rice at home”.


The male species of animals are generally sexually more active than their female counterparts. Men are more active and stronger than women. This does not mean that women do not have a strong sex drive, far from it, but the sex drive of a woman tends to be periodic, while that of a man is almost continuous.


A sexually fulfilled man at home will be bold enough to face the challenges of the world. He believes in himself, sees himself as a victorious man, and conjectures that if he can “conquer” his wife, he can surmount any obstacle. A sexually satisfied man is focused; he looks forward to returning home, to get the most of his wife. A sexually dissatisfied man may find it difficult to concentrate at work. Some may foolishly search for fulfillment from other women, ultimately jeopardizing their marriages, businesses and lives. According to Tim and Beverly Lahaye in their book “The Aims of Marriage”, “A sexually frustrated man has a hard time concentrating. He is prone to being edgy and finds it difficult to retain lasting goals. In contrast, the truly satisfied husband refuses to waste his business day on trivial things. He wants each moment to count so he can get home to his wife and family who will give his life real purpose and meaning”


Through the excitement derived from sex, your man gets joy and happiness. There is no man, who does not enjoy sex or who is not passionate about it, except he is an eunuch.

With the knowledge of what good sex does to you as a wife, it is pertinent you learn how to loosen your panties and unlock your skirt for your husband a little. Let him enjoy you and have a feel of his love for you. Never allow him to think of any other woman, tell him you are enough for him. Show him you are more than capable to satisfy all his bedroom desires.

Author’s Bio: Bisi Adewale is an international conference speaker on marriage and family life, the author of these bestselling books: Secrets of an Irresistible Wife, Hot and Sizzling Marriage, 20 Highways to a Successful Marriage, Before you say I Do, and more than 60 other bestselling books on marriage, singleness, intimacy, sex, love, relationship, parenting and family life. Get a free book from him at, you can buy his books on or, join him on


The Sweet Spot One Year Membership Card! Membership Comes With Spectacular VIP Perks... * Enter Every Sweet Spot Event Across The Country with A Friend At No Additional Cost * Skip The Line And Walk Straight To The Front * Claim Your Reserved, VIP Seats Come Travel The Sweet Spot Nation With Us. GET YOURS today by contacting your nearest Sweet Spot Ambassador or email


Awaken YOUR



any people want to know how to awaken the Kundalini. And as there are techniques for Kundalini Awakening, most of the techniques are kept secret by masters until the student is ready to receive them. Here is a very powerful technique for Kundalini Awakening based on a Kriya Yoga technique. This technique will not only awaken the Kundalini energy, moving you towards spiritual enlightenment, it also can improve your health and remove all stress and unhappiness in your life. This Kriya Technique for Kundalini Awakening is probably one of the easiest ways to enter a blissful state of meditation. It is what would be termed a “purifying technique” as it will purify the energy channels of your body allowing more energy or Shakti to move through. I will explain the technique in three parts: The first part of this technique for kundalini awakening is to focus your breath starting at the base of your spine all the way up your spine and out of the top of your head. Do this for the inhale. As you inhale move your focus from the base of your spine, up the spine and out of the top of your head as though your are “breathing up” the energy.

You do not need to imagine anything. This is not about imagination but focus. Focus your breath to move up the spine and out the top of your head. And the focus should be relaxed. You are not to force anything. You are simply gently suggesting the energy to move in this direction. So do focus the energy up but allow the kundalini energy to move on it’s own without force. It may seem quite strange to focus your breath where your breath does not go but it is very effective. Breath is energy, “prana.” And simply by focusing the breath in a certain area, the energy moves to that area. After practicing this for a while, you will start to feel the energy rising. The sensations will be subtle at first but over time can become very blissful. It can almost feel like an orgasm, a rush of bliss moving up your spine. The second part of this technique for kundalini awakening is it to move the breath down your front as you exhale. As you exhale, move the breath from the top of your head to the third eye, (located between your eyebrows) then to your throat and then to your heart chakra, located at the center of your chest. Continue on page 35 Upscale Desires Magazine • • 27


THE ROAD TO BECOMING AUTHENTIC Guidance on how to better one’s life and relationship(s) through selfreflection, honest communication, balance and dream building, is how I would describe this book. Readers will have the tools needed to make informed choices about themselves in order to determine the best direction to proceed with their current life and relationship situation. The Road to Becoming Authentic is a journey of SELF-DISCOVERY. It’s really just the beginning of what will be a cycle of beginnings and endings. This book comes with a playful theme. This imaginary trip reads as if you were on a voyage, making stops along the way. Know these stops are not detours but instead, collection and drop off points where exchanges will be made, items will be sold and opportunities will be purchased. As the road before you unfolds, please take the time to look within and record your experiences. Take

account of the points of interest, taking not just mental notes, but capture the moments that strike you emotionally and spiritually. Don’t let life weigh heavy on your heart, for change is only as close as you allow it to be. It will take you 30 Days to complete this book. Applying these principles to your daily life for the next 30 days will allow you to receive what you intend to have. 30 Days to Freedom: Becoming Authentic: Ultimate Guide to Falling in Love with the Real You is a traveler’s guide to breaking out of the emotional prisons we all have built for ourselves. Consider this a Get Out of Jail Free Card.





Imaginative Liberating


Eye openingSensual

It the most erotic show in town

------By Nikeema T. Lee, MS


hat’s how I would describe the experience that is Sweet Spot. This Nation, founded and built on the idea that in this world of debt, hurt and sadness, the art of the erotic has a place in pop culture. Long held as an underground movement erotic spoken word has gone

mainstream. Sweet Spot Nation brings a light to the idea of open naughtiness and debauchery. I had heard of this group before when I was performing the Sex Dairies erotic stage show. I had been told about this group that inter-weaved

erotic poetry, comedy and burlesque in their show. So‌ to my delight when I was asked to perform in Charlotte, NC, I accepted. Iz-Real The Poet had seen me perform a feature and wanted me to teach my skills on the Sweet Spot Stage. I was late getting to the venue but I was

coming. This was a dream come true. There was pure excitement just from not knowing what to expect. From the energy in the parking lot to the hum inside the venue, you already have a sense of “this is going to be crazy and fun”. You already feel the heat in waves of how much pure joy you may have. The unknown ignites you to relax and feel good about life. As I walked into the dressing room I was greeting by Ainsley and Laurielle Noel followed by two topless women being painted for tonight’s festivities. A once around the room and I have all my instructions. I go on at 9:30. I felt so at home. Looking around I see beauty in all colors. The lights are low, the crowd is hyped the DJ is spinning and it’s now time to take the pledge. While holding you sweet spot you vow to let go and allow life into your heart, be free and be authentic. And for 2 hours, they entertain you. Each player gives everything they have in order to simply build and ignite passion within you. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you The Sweet Spot Nation

SUPPORTERS ARE RAVING“ ... went to The Sweet Spot show at the end of last year and can’t get the show out my mind!! It’s wonderful, amazing!” -Tiph

Ainsley Burrows is the founder of The Sweet Spot. He is an internationally-known poet at the top of his craft. As a full-time touring poet for over 15 years, Ainsley has performed at countless venues in the US, and toured the UK, Denmark, Switzerland, and Germany. In the last 5 years Ainsley has decreased his time touring to produce shows, write and paint. Ainsley is also the founder of BurrowsInk and benefits from the network he created while touring to expand The Sweet Spot worldwide.

“This was one hell of a show~ I laughed, related & simply had a great time! :-)” Neena

For more information about Ainsley visit: burrowsink. com,, search youtube for Ainsley Burrows.

“....Awesome!!! Loved It!!! Everything was great!!! I’m Hooked!!! Can’t wait till the next time you’re somewhere close!!!!” Tim

If you have any comments for us or have questions about bringing the Sweet Spot to your city, please contact us at:

“I must say, The Sweet spot show in Charlotte was Hot!! Looking forward to more...”- Twin


Who They Are

The Show

Our Mission

The Sweet Spot events are the creation of a multi-media production company called BurrowsInk.  We originated the show in New York City and quickly grew to produce The Sweet Spot across multiple cities in the US and Canada (17 so far and counting).  With the help of our local partners, talented performers, sponsors and numerous friends who believe in our movement, you can expect a fresh, new and exciting Sweet Spot experience in your city every three months!  We are expanding very quickly so if we are not in your area yet, contact us and let us know your city is ready for The Sweet Spot!

The Sweet Spot is a high energy, heartpounding, fist pumping, laugh-out-loud POP EROTICA event performing in 17 cities and counting across the US and Canada! 

​ rotica is a fine art that captures a certain, E almost inexpressible beauty about the human experience and the act of love. POPular Erotica, as we have created it, is erotica through popular forms of live entertainment - poetry, comedy, music, runway fashion, dance... This is erotica that everyone can enjoy. We believe that feeling good about your sexuality and being sexually expressed is an important part of being fully realized in other areas of life. Whether you are shy or strikingly bold, we make no judgments about your sexual expression. Our mission is to provide a safe space to engage all your senses in the erotic arts; to open your spirit; and to leave you in a sweeter place

This sensational theater production features the world’s best performance poets, live body art, burlesque dancers, fashion, live music, DJs, comedians and much more. The Sweet Spot embodies the spirit of POP EROTICA, which is erotica through popular forms of entertainment that everyone can enjoy!

Meet the Cast EVENT DATES Sexy Halloween Edition! THE SWEET SPOT SACRAMENTO LAUGHS UNLIMITED 1207 Front Street Sacramento CA 95814 DOORS 8PM

OCT 30

Laurielle Noel Chief Operating Officer (COO) & Dir of Business Development

Sabrina Gilbert Artist Development & Production Manager

Walter Maxfield Jones Host / Comedian

Red Light Special Edition THE SWEET SPOT NEW YORK Santos Party House 96 Lafayette Street New York NY 10013 DOORS 7PM SUN

NOV 16

Iz-Real The Poet Poet/Charlotte Coordinator

Apathy Angel Burlesque

Be sure to check out www. Sweetspotnation. com and pick up books, CD’s and more

Red Light Special Edition THE SWEET SPOT CHARLOTTE The Chop Shop NoDa 399 E. 35th St Charlotte NC 28205 DOORS 9PM FRI

NOV 21

Red Light Special Edition THE SWEET SPOT ATLANTA 595 North Event Lounge 595 North Ave NW Atlanta GA 30318 DOORS 8PM SAT

NOV 22

A Pop Erotica Novel Bang Bang Bang This is a novel about a summer in Brooklyn. This could be a true story but unfortunately it is not.

A Debut Book Of Poetry from Iz-Real The Poet

Spoken word album from Sabrina Gilbert

Upscale Desires Magazine • • 33

34 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

Kundalini yoga teacher Jeanine Marzella demonstrates 36 key Kundalini Yoga poses in this elegant poster. The words on the bottom indicate the benefits of practice; awareness, flexibility, focus, grace and strength. It 24” x 36” and printed on acid free poster stock.

Sexuality continue from pg 27 Awaken YOUR


in 3 EASY STEPS Stop the breath at the center of your chest. And then again, inhale from the base of your spine, repeating the process above.

energy, their state of bliss. This technique is thousands of years old and is still used today because it is so effective.

The third part of this technique for kundalini awakening is to awaken the energy. Because an enlightened teacher would not give this technique without initiating you into this technique. This calls for the teacher to give you shaktipat, to actually awaken your kundalini by touch, chanting or simply by focusing their energy on you.

If this step makes you uncomfortable, you can repeat “peace” instead.

So to awaken this energy yourself, there is an easy technique but a very important one. And that is to silently repeat the name of an enlightened teacher, Guru or Saint that you feel connected to whether you have met them or not. If you are of a particular religion, you can repeat the name of a saint of that religion. Otherwise, choose an enlightened teacher who you admire. You can repeat the name as you inhale, and repeat the name as you exhale. The reason for this is that you take on the Shakti (energy) of what you focus on. So simply by repeating the name of an enlightened Guru or Saint, you take on their

Really, you are awakening that which is in you, not something from the outside. But enlightened teachers are the outward manifestation of what is inside you. A Saint or Guru have awakened what you wish also to awaken. So by focusing on their name, you awaken that energy in you. It has nothing to do with them as a personality or body but the energy that naturally radiates from them. You can also awaken the kundalini through sound. You can read more about this method of kundalini awakening using sound by checking out the link below. Blessings, Kip Author’s Bio:  Awaken Your Kundalini and Experience Unconditional Peace & Bliss, Simply by Listening to a Unique CD For Free Samples Visit The Enlightened Spirituality CD

Upscale Desires Magazine • • 35


Embracing By Buffy Upscale Desires Magazine Natural Hair Guru


hen we refer to the phrase “natural hair’ people automatically envision how the hair looks more so than what makes it “natural”. The word “natural” refers to “free from chemicals” which includes perm and dependent upon whom you’re talking to, can even include color, but generally speaking natural means being free from perm aka “creamy crack”. If you make a choice to become natural, thinking about it or already are, one of the most important things to remember is to find the product that works for your hair and stick with it. I have a few “it” products that you can use dependent upon the look your going for. For a wash-n-go I use Kinky Curly Knot, a little of this goes a long way. Rocking a braid-out or twistout, use Elasta QP Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer. Always keep your hair moisturized because there is nothing cute about a dry looking hair. If my hair is feeling dry, I do rub my scalp with coconut oil or peppermint oil for moisture. And drinking lots of water helps, but I fall off in that area, as well. But I’m becoming more of a fan of all the fruit infused waters that you can make at home. Buffy

36 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

Love at any Age 20’s


hile writing this, I’m only in the third year of my 20’s but I can already say it’s been the bumpiest, most confusing,  indecisive yet undeservingly blessed years of my life thus far. I’ve been known to beat  up on myself....often. Mainly about past mistakes that I’ve made in my life and with my body concerning men. Having come from a single parent home raised by my mother like most of my peers , I never felt neglected or unloved, yet always seemed to find the need to try and find it elsewhere. I believe the in and out presence of my father, as well as the sheltering and over protection of my mother ( to avoid exposing me to hurt, pain and abuse among other things,  some of which I ended up experiencing anyway. ..bless her heart)  may have led me on my rebellious quest to find my womanhood, acceptance from men, and overall love. I would write poems about love. Look online for love. Be mistreated emotionally and physically to hold on to pieces of my first love. I got so caught up in things that looked like love, I was blocking myself from actually being open

to receiving and feeling real love. I had some eye opening moments though personal and spiritual development which taught me that I first needed to understand how powerful and real the love of God is and to stop overlooking my blessings, mistreating my temple and myself. Second I had to develop (and still developing)  love for myself. It has been difficult to look the girl in the mirror and tell her “I love you”. Such a simple task, but one that brought tears of sadness instead of joy. While in the process of focusing on more positive things to make a change in my life, it happened.  I wasn’t looking for it, because I vowed to take some time off looking for it. I just kept guys around for my own personal pleasure because I had given up on the idea of love finding me anytime soon; and even they noticed a change in my unwillingness to participate in my own self-hate detriment.  Love changed my life when I least expected it. And I wasn’t all the way ready. I had doubts about my new partner.  Not him in particular,  more so me and the things I really wanted for myself. First, was I

even ready to be In a committed relationship? Did I know what it took to handle the responsibilities of being someone’s girlfriend and future wife? Could I possibly still hold on to past acquaintances while still being all in with my partner? Should I just leave this man alone and not mix him up in my indecisiveness to avoid hurting him?  I had some soul searching and soul tie breaking to do. Love was so genuine it allowed my partner to hear and understand all these concerns and still love me; know and accept my past as well as present , and still love me. This love, has been proactive and solely concerned on building me up as a person, interested in my growth and well being. This 20 year old love has taught me a life lesson. Whether its here for a reason, a season or a lifetime I now know what it feels like to take time out to get to know myself. Its even more beautiful having someone to share it with. When I stopped looking for love on the outside,  I was able to find and attract it within. Morgan Myers



here is no greater feeling than love. I cannot be wrong on this as every song, TV show or social media drama is all about people trying to find others to love them. We may not agree with their ways or the types of love they may be looking for, but at the end of the day we are all looking for someone to love us. Keeping and nurturing that love is where most of us fall short. There are 2 important habits I make sure to keep so that love does not elude me. Love yourself first. It took me some time to get to this place where I could appreciate all the perfect imperfections I was born with. Comparing myself to others I always felt inadequate and did not feel good enough for the people I was dating. Insecurity is a terrible thing when you are trying to keep love in your life.

Eventually I learned to look inward and realize that loving me was more attractive to people. When you love yourself your natural confidence comes out and that is something that no one can shake. Stay Honest. Honesty is the best policy. It’s an old saying, but it keeps eluding most of us. There is no reason not to tell people how you really feel. I’m not talking about with cheating, money or other big relationship issues. I am talking about everyday honest. I don’t like what you said to me… honest. I am feeling a certain way today… honest. They may not like it, but they have to respect it. Love and respect are serious partners in relationships. If we could all work towards loving ourselves and staying honest with people we will not have to look for love. It will surely find us. Shannel The Sex CEO Parker



Photo Credit:



ometimes are biggest adversities leads us to our biggest blessings. Have you noticed a trend happening in recent days?

Breakups... More and more couples and friends are going through tremendous difficulties in their relationships. We are in the season for breakups. Yes they are tripping, yes they are getting on your nerves, and yes this is the last straw. However it’s all in accordance to GOD’s Divine Plan. Stop resisting and go with God’s flow. Growth is now. Growth in your life is now. Everything around you is growing. Flowers… Trees... Grass... Why not you? GOD has required that you expand. He has made it so that the seed planting last fall starts to show signs of life. If you won’t grow when you are supposed to grow, GOD needs to encourage your production by pruning away that which limits your productivity. Right now relationships 38 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

are breaking up. People are fighting and screaming. Some are moving out. Packing up in the middle of the night and leaving. LET THEM GO. Why? Support… They can’t support you. They are not equipped to handle the responsibility of the weight required to where GOD wants to take you. THEY CAN’T GO and YOU DON’T NEED THEM. I said YOU DON’T NEED THEM. You have everything you need already inside of you. Quit looking for help and validation outside of yourself. Believe that all this will work out for the good of GOD. ALL THINGS and this to GOD be the Glory. --Nikeema Lee, Editor-in-Chief Intimate Relationship Coach


Make Fetch Happen, The Go Getter’s Guide to Greatness is the newest book from Author & Everyone’s Favorite Intimate Relationship Coach Nikeema Lee. Remember the movie Means Girls? The character Gretchen tried really hard throughout the movie to make the word “Fetch” the newest catch phrase. She repeatedly tried to use the word to describe the mood or circumstance. Working the word into conversation, “that’s so fetch.” Until finally they told her to stop trying to make Fetch happen. STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN.

Author Nikeema T. Lee M.S. is an Intimate Relationships Coach, Author, & former WGIV 103.3 FM Morning Show Host in Charlotte, NC. Nikeema Lee focuses her energy on coaching people on how to LOVE themselves. She is a beacon of insight on self-love and reconnection. Nikeema aids many to self-discovery of the internal hurdles that prevent many from making intimate connections in relationships, by helping many to get in touch with their true Authentic selves

In the Media

Often in life we are told to stop trying to make things happen. We are told to expect things as they are and stop going against the status quo. Its frowned upon anyone who chooses to try and make things happen for themselves. In the face of backlash and ridicule the Go Getter never backs down from life. They tend to take life head on and look for moments to win at all cost. Becoming a successful Go Getter, I believe, takes a few key principles that will lead to Greatness. Each one of us tries to make something out of nothing. We often look to be the first to create a new “catch phrase” or in the case of our lives, a new path. We seek to find a new way to explain why our lives mean something. We strive to provide the world with a purpose. We wish to “Make Fetch Happen.” I’ve often wondered, “Why Gretchen couldn’t make Fetch happen?” Why we can’t make Fetch happen in our own lives? Make FETCH Happen, The Go Getter’s Guide to Greatness answers that question for me. I hope that it will do the same for you. Contact Information Nikeema Lee, MS | Twitter @NikeemaLee | IG @Nikeemalee For Booking (973) 531-7545 | |

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Upscale Desires October