Nightmoves Crack Ups

If breweries can produce hand sanitizer … why can’t newspapers make toilet paper? Half the stu they print is crap anyway!

If you needed 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine then you should have been seeing a doctor long before the Covid-19.

2020 is a unique leap year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 10 years in April.

Dear Quarantine Diary: Day One – I went to the store and stocked up with everything. I have enough supplies to last six months and I should be completely safe to stay at home. Day One and 45 minutes – I’m going to the store because I need a candy bar and a coke!

Happiness is when you work at a bank and two guys walk in wearing masks … thank goodness it’s Covid-19 time!

I know a great joke about Corona Virus, you probably won’t get it though. Prediction: There will be a baby boom in nine months due to the corona virus “Stay at Home” rules. Then one day in 2033 we will witness the “Rise of the Quarantines” !

A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says “I’ll have a Corona please, hold the virus”

With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.

Thinking a mask is going to stop Covid-19 is the same as thinking that your underpants will protect everyone from a fart.

Since everybody has now started washing their hands, the peanuts at the bar have lost their taste.

They said that a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else has clothes on.

Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately, now when I pee I clean the toilet.

Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn’t about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?

To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too.

Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month.