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Donate without dosh
Would you like to help us, but you’re short of cash? There are many more ways to support our work!
1. Donate time – Could you help with gardening in our refuges?
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Or drive to pick up donations?
Perhaps you’re a hairdresser or beautician, who’d like to give the residents in a refuge a treat?
Whatever your unique skill, we’d love to hear from you!
2. Donate your voice – Would you be willing to speak to your family and friends about domestic abuse? Join our Ask Me ambassador training programme! For more information see page 17.
3. Donate your network – Help to raise our profile and stimulate conversation about domestic abuse. Engage with us on social media (@southerndas), share our content and post about our work. 4. Donate your celebration – Got a special event coming up? Run a raffle for us! Birthday? Request friends donate to us instead of buying you a gift. Christmas?
Skip the Christmas shopping and make a donation in your loved ones’ honour.
5. Donate as you shop – Do your online shopping via
GiveAsYouLive.com and choose
Stop Domestic Abuse as your charity partner. Buy from over 4,300 brands (including Amazon) and we will receive a donation for every purchase you make!
6. Donate goods – Donate your second-hand clothes, home items and more. All donations must be good quality and we recommend contacting us first to check our current needs. You can also visit our
Amazon wishlist: tinyurl.com/ stopDAwishlist
Whichever way you choose to support us, we’d love to hear from you! Contact info@stopdomesticabuse.uk to get involved. Your assistance is greatly appreciated and will really brighten up the life of someone affected by domestic abuse.
KELLY AND JEFF: A CO-ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP…
KELLY I decided to refer myself to Up2U after slapping my husband.
Jeff became scared of me after that. Our marriage wasn’t always this way, but stress was our downfall.
Before joining the Up2U programme, communication between Jeff and me was awful. I would quickly “see red” and when I didn’t know how to articulate myself, I’d slap him around the face.
The Up2U team helped me recognise the triggers for my anger and how to deal with it in a healthy way. We broke down how my thinking, feelings and behaviour have led to abusive consequences. Then we explored how I can change my thinking, so I can change my behaviour.
I’ve realised that I can’t control anyone else’s behaviour, but I can change my own. I’ve learnt the importance of self-care and that striving to please Jeff at my own expense will not create a healthy relationship.
I can already see a big difference. It’s suddenly so much easier to use healthy behaviours when I feel frustrated or angry.
Jeff and I are building a stronger path for communication and the marriage feels more solid than it has been in a very long time. Our future looks positive now.
JEFF This was the last chance to save my marriage.
My wife and I began arguing two years ago and things were getting worse. Kelly would hit me when she got angry and I would smash things. I wanted help. Most of all, I wanted to avoid violence.
Up2U contacted me and offered me a 6-week assessment. Kelly was already working with them and it seemed it was helping.
One of our main issues was my ex-partner – my daughter’s mother. My ex would cause us a lot of upset and because these issues came from my side, I felt that Kelly and her children wouldn’t be experiencing this if I wasn’t around.
Since engaging with Up2U, Kelly and I have been better at understanding each other’s frustrations and supporting one another. In the programme there are four colours, each indicating healthy and unhealthy behaviours. The aim is to show green behaviours.
Kelly and I can identify when we’re not being ‘green’ and talk it through. I have also learnt techniques to help me calm down, rather than acting on impulse.
My wife and I are no longer considering separation. We have been spending more time together as a couple and are even planning our own trip together.
Names have been changed
