CHAPTER 1 YOUR ROUTINE AND MOVEMENTS AT HOME
TheManoftheHouse
You are watching the clock. It’s time to leave for work. You’re running late, and you can’t find your car keys. Your wife or partner is barking last-minute instructions at you not to forget the grocery order this afternoon, and your blood pressure is rising. Your focus is on finding those damn car keys.
Stop!Doesthissoundfamiliar?
Ah, found the keys. Now you head for the door. “Bye, doll. See you later.”
Stop!Willyouseeherlater?
You open the house door and the security gate. Your hands are full with a briefcase, keys, a lunch box, and so on. Your focus is on getting to your car and rushing off to work.
Stop!Doyou have a securitygate?Ifso, whattype ofgate isit? Is your security gate built or designedadequately to stop a forced entry?
Let’s take a brief look at your movements so far. I doubt you’ve considered the aspect of security for one second during this period. Your focus has been elsewhere. This is very common for most of us as we go about our daily lives.
The reality is that we can no longer live like this in South Africa –or, in fact, in most countries of the world. If we do, we’re likely to become a statistic. Crime rates, including those for attacks, are rising in South Africa due to a number of factors. Rising unemployment and a failing economy are two reasons. More and more people are resorting to crime as a means of income, especially the younger
generation. They face a situation of hopelessness in our tattered economy.
Criminals are becoming increasingly dangerous and ruthless. The criminal now relies more on narcotics – such as cannabis or wunga –and/or alcohol to gain the courage to carry out criminal activities. This makes attackers more aggressive, reckless, and without conscience.
My purpose in writing this book is to awaken the average South African, and people in general, to the realities that face us all. It is not my intention to scare or strike terror into people. However, everything in this book is a reality and intended to get your head out of the sand, because there is a high probability that you could be next. So let’s prepare ourselves as best we can.
Let’s go back to you opening your door and security gate before leaving for work. Firstly, you were running late. This fundamental error may be all it takes to allow attackers to enter your home and create a multitude of jeopardizing scenarios which affect your safety as well as that of your family.
Change your lifestyle. Become more organised. Give yourself twenty minutes before you leave for work to assess your security and surroundings. This can save you and your family from becoming victims – an extremely traumatic experience. A little paranoia can lead to a longer life.
Plan your morning departure the night before. Involve your wife/partner and family members in the precautionary measures necessary to raise your security to the highest level you possibly can. The security situation is now critical and becoming worse. This is not your fault, and there is nothing you can do about the existence and escalation of the criminal element in society. But there is a lot you can do to keep yourself and your family from becoming victims.
As a start, I suggest that the dominant member of the family – for example, the adult male – act as the catalyst in involving the whole family. Take notes of the relevant elements mentioned in this book, as well as other security points or observations you and your family may want to consider. Create a security plan that all competent family members are aware of (we’ll discuss small children and the
elderly as we carry on). Encourage relevant family members, at your discretion, to read this book to engender a strong family sense of security.
Once again, we’re back at the door, but this time you mean business. You have given yourself an extra twenty minutes to do a security check before you leave for work, so you’re not running late. Okay, where do you start?
Check the inside of your home. You’re carrying your firearm (preferably a handgun), concealed but ready to use. You also have as a backup a neck knife – namely, the Grabber-style neck knife. I recommend being prepared with, for example, a can of pepper stream in your hand while doing your inside check in the event of a surprise attack. I refer to firearms in greater detail in chapter 6 and numerous security weapons and tools in chapter 8. I cover the options of more high-tech equipment – for example, CCTV systems, alarms, and GPS devices – as well as lighting systems and mirrors in chapter 9.
These options are largely dependent on your budget, which is the reason I refer to the basics at this stage. Do you own a gun? If not, I suggest pepper stream (not pepper spray, as the spray could linger and affect you) and the Grabber neck knife.
You first check the rooms inside the cell. What is a cell? A cell is what I call a safe area for the sleeping quarters. The sleeping area is cordoned off by a security gate or Xpanda trellis door with a slam lock. The reason for this is that between the hours of one and three in the morning, you’re in your deepest sleep. Most attackers are aware of this, so it is your most vulnerable time for break-ins and attacks. Your cell gate gives you time to ensure that your loved ones are secure in case you need to take offensive action. We will discuss plans for securing loved ones – for example, small children – in this scenario in chapter 2.
Do you have one or more fire extinguishers in your cell area? Have you heard of the Fire Stryker flame-inhibitor fire extinguisher? Do you have a well-stocked first-aid bag in your cell area? We’ll refer more to this fire extinguisher and first-aid details, as well as other security tips to consider for your cell area, in chapter 8.
Check the inside of your house for signs of tampering. Look for broken glass, items out of place, or items knocked over. You should know the inside of your house well, so this should not take long. Never overestimate your security plan. Don’t become complacent. I refer to a true incident in which a friend was forced to fatally shoot an attacker in his home after the man attacked him with a knife. The
attacker managed to get through an electrified fence without activating the alarm. He got past four dogs patrolling the yard. He forced open the burglar guards. The first indication of his presence in the house was the sound of breaking glass as he broke the window.
This attacker was well within the house by the time my friend could react. The shooting took place in the dining room area. This incident ended without harm to my friend and his family because his wife is a light sleeper and heard the sound of glass breaking – and because my friend is well trained in the use of firearms and a good shot. However, we will discuss some of his errors in chapter 6. The point of relaying this incident here is that today’s attackers are more organised and more brazen.
Next, look into your yard through the windows to see if you can identify any irregularities. Don’t open a window or position your full body in front of a window when peering outside. Rather, look from the corner of the window, keeping your body and most of your head hidden behind the wall. Ensure that you maintain the advantage of light. By this, I mean to stay in the shadows, as such, from the inside of your home. Remember, your attacker will most likely be lurking in the shadows, observing movement in your home in the hope of gaining the element of surprise. You can only gain the advantage of light by ensuring that there is more light illuminating the outside of your home than the inside. Keep your lights dimmed on the inside. This scenario is obviously only applicable when it is still dark outside.
Outside lighting is imperative. Your attacker or attackers will be a lot less likely to target your home if it is well lit up than if it offers areas of shadow and coverage in which to hide while waiting for an opportune moment to catch you by surprise. Imagine your attacker as a predator who will use every opportunity for camouflage –shadows, bushes, and other obstacles to hide behind. Take a moment to think of this and then survey the outside of your home, from lighting to bushes, and check for obstacles that could be changed, added to, or removed to allow for better visibility.
I would strongly suggest that your home and yard lighting situation be one of the top priorities in your security improvement plan, which by now I hope you are making notes on as to changes and precautions you can implement. Regarding obstacles in your yard and around your home, I strongly suggest you involve your wife or partner in this plan, as you don’t want to be hacking down a favourite shrub or tree without consent. Rather, consider pruning to eliminate coverage or transplanting. However, you will have to weigh up (with your partner’s approval) the extent of coverage in your yard versus the hazard of leaving cover for potential attackers.
How does your garage look? Is it full of obstacles, such as lawn mowers, old tumble driers, and scattered garden tools? A spade or pick could be used by your attacker to assist him in breaking into your home. These types of items should be locked away when not in use. Neaten things up – especially around your vehicles, as this is one of the hotspots where your attacker will most probably attempt to catch you dead to rights. (Though this phrase is often used to mean catching someone red-handed, I’ve appropriated it to describe a scenario in which it appears that your attacker has you cornered without an escape plan. I don’t mean to say that you are facing imminent death or harm, as it is our intention in this book to avoid the aforementioned by all possible means.)
Back to the front door. You have done your twenty-minute security check and are ready to leave for work. By now, you are wondering if you will ever leave the house. But let’s remember that contained within your home are the most precious possessions of all – your family – and hence the emphasis must move to your home and yard. Have you checked the mirrors in your garage and/or your surrounding exit area for blind spots? No, you are not in your car yet. Do you have mirrors up?
The advantage of mirrors is that they will, for example, give you an edge in being able to check blind spots around your car. As with the lighting scenario, I would add this to the list of highest priorities and consult your local hardware store as to what they suggest and what stock they have. I would suggest the convex-shaped blind-spot mirrors that give you greater visibility.
A major point to consider is that it is pretty useless to install a mirror that doesn’t enable light to reflect visibility and allow you a clear view of blind spots. This will take some planning as to where to mount your mirrors. If you are not a handyman, I suggest you call on a trusted friend or professional to assist in finding the right spot. Please remember that your mirrors should be checked before you open your final security gate. Do you have dogs? You should have! We will discuss dogs in further detail in chapter 10, where we will explore owning dogs – note, plural!
Near your exit door, be it in the front or back of your home, on the route to your vehicle, keep a box of doggie treats. After you have opened your exit door, the security gate will still be locked with a circular lock, if you have a custom-built security gate. Average padlocks are very easy to break open, while a circular lock has to be cut open with an angle grinder or similar apparatus. (Note that there are numerous other types of security gates on the market; I am keeping things simple at this stage).
At this point, you should call your dogs. Make this a routine, and give them a treat to encourage them to create that routine. If your dogs don’t come to the security gate for their treats, this should trigger alarm bells. Unfortunately, dogs can be immobilised by attackers. This boils my blood, as I am a dog lover, but we are analysing reality, which is unpleasant but necessary. We will be looking at even more sensitive real-life subjects and how to deal with them as best we can later.
In the event that your dogs don’t come to the gate, I recommend that you retreat behind you cell gate in your secure sleeping area and alert your security company that you suspect you have intruders in your yard. Remember, this is what you pay your security company for; it is their job. Alert your neighbours, as well, that you could have intruders in your yard, and they should also be on alert. (We will discuss the relationship and security communication between you and your neighbours in chapter 3).
If you don’t have a contract with a security company, contact your local police station and say that there are intruders in your yard. Do not rush gung-ho outside. Curiosity killed the cat! If your dogs are
not responding, they may have been poisoned. In this scenario, there is not much you can do for them, and your focus should be on your own and your family’s safety. Retreat back within your cell and lock it, keeping your family behind you. This will give you a secure advantage in the event that you need to use your firearm or other forms of self-defence.
If your two or more trusted dogs arrive at your security gate with their tails wagging, eagerly awaiting their morning treats, it is likely that your yard is clear and that it is safe to eventually exit your door and security gate. Remember to lock all doors and gates behind you, as your family is most likely still at home. The common scenario is that the wife or partner leaves after you with the children. If the roles are reversed and you take the children to school, rather than your wife or partner, then read on, as we will discuss this situation in chapter 2. The strategies and plans are almost identical.
As you head for your car, you should be carrying your firearm, pepper stream, Grabber neck knife, or other self-defence weapons. You should also have your two or more dogs near you. Check around your car before getting in and starting it. Keep checking your surroundings and your blind spots. This will assist in you being able to pick up on a possible sneak attack from a different angle.
When checking blind spots, do it with intention. This could put an attacker off, creating an element of doubt. You will appear confident and bold in your actions, making it clear that you mean business. Your attacker will get the impression that you are a formidable advisory. For this to work, avoid looking visibly nervous. This could lead to your attacker perceiving you as easy prey. Remember your blind spot routine, as it is essential throughout your daily movements. You will want to do the same in car parks, public areas, and any secluded areas. Check for punctured tires and for obstacles placed behind or in front of your tires that would require you to get out of your car to investigate – placing you in a vulnerable situation. Your attackers could have pre-planned this as part of their strategy.
How have you parked your car in your garage? I strongly advise that all family vehicles be parked in reverse, facing out. In fact, try
to make it a habit that even in parking lots, you back into spaces. Being able to pull out going forward gives you a huge advantage over reversing out of your yard gate and into the street.
Stop!Thinkaboutthis!Is your yard gate remote-controlled, or do you have to exit your vehicle to open and close it? It should be on a remote, as this is one of the major hotspots for your attackers to catch you dead to rights. If you don’t have a remote-controlled gate, then I would suggest that you plan to have one installed. In the interim, I would treat the opening and closing of a manual gate with great caution, as potential attackers will have observed that you get out of your vehicle at this point. Have your firearm easily accessible and ready to use; pepper stream in your hand ready to use; or your Grabber neck knife easily available. Be on high alert, and be prepared to counter-attack or defend yourself.
Driving forward out of your driveway, you should have a good view of your gate and any potential attackers lurking at the entrance to your yard, which gives you more time and a better opportunity to react evasively or offensively. Evasive action in this type of scenario could be to retreat and back up if there are people loitering at your gate who haven’t made their intentions clear. This is one of the points at which you will have to make a fight or flight decision. By the way, the phrase “fight or flight” in no way insinuates that you are to fight. In trying to be a hero, you could end up as a dead hero. Nor does the word flightinsinuate that you are a coward. Once again I need to emphasise that our purpose in this book is to ensure your own and your family’s survival. You need to be prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure that this is the outcome of an attack. Unfortunately, security is not an exact science, and the intentions of attackers are hard to anticipate perfectly. However, the following quote is something I once heard that has remained with me for the past twenty years or so: “Chance favours the prepared mind.” Consider an example from the animal kingdom, from which I sometimes believe we have not strayed much as the human species. A cheetah running down a springbuck has by far superior speed. But the springbuck has a distinct advantage: It can sidestep or change direction at the blink of an eye, leaving the cheetah to overrun its
attack and ultimately lose the battle, even though it is the fastest animal on the planet. We seek to do what the springbuck does and outsmart potential attackers whenever possible.
If people are loitering at your gate, I suggest you rewind, return to your home, lock yourself and your family behind your cell gate, and contact security or the police.
If you are about to exit your driveway gate and suddenly an attacker steps out in front of your car pointing a firearm at you, has he caught you dead to rights? In most cases, yes. Your panicked instinct may be to accelerate to get out of danger, and you might get away by doing this, but you run a risk of being shot at. If you are exiting your driveway going forward, your chances of escaping the attack increase greatly, and the likelihood of the attacker shooting at you in an urban area would probably decrease by around 40 per cent, giving you a possible 60 per cent chance of not being shot at, as the attacker would have lost the advantage of a getaway car –your car – and by shooting would direct massive attention to himself.
If we were to look at the same scenario in a remote or farm-type situation, these figures would be different, with a probable 50 per cent chance of not being shot at. These figures are mere estimations, but one could consider this option of accelerating to get out of an attempted hijacking, as an armed attacker provides no guarantee that he is going to leave you alive or unharmed if you surrender to him.
If there are one or more attackers pointing firearms at you, it is most probable that you are going to stop, as you or your family members could be shot. In this scenario, it is easier said than done, but you have to remain calm. Don’t make any sudden movements that could cause your attackers to panic. Remember, they are likely to be as tense as piano wire at this stage and will act recklessly if provoked or if they feel threatened.
They will most likely be shouting orders at you. Try to identify with the dominant attacker, focusing more on him. Tell him he can have whatever he wants, but please do not hurt you. You are now negotiating for your life. Your main objective is to let the attackers
take whatever they want without hurting you or your family members and to let you go as soon as possible.
Ask them if you can get out of the car. You need to avoid as much as possible the possibility that they will take you and your family members hostage. Keep your hands up, palms open, in a submissive gesture. If you have family members with you, instruct them to do the same.
You do the talking. This is where encouraging family members to read this book or coaching them in the event of such a scenario will prove vital. Hysteria or shouting by yourself or your family members will only exacerbate an already highly dangerous situation. Try to listen to the attackers’ demands. They have the upper hand now.
Keep telling them they can have whatever they want, but please do not hurt you. Tell them what valuables you have on you and in the car to avoid them beating you. If your wallet and/or cell phone are in your pocket, don’t just suddenly reach for them. Tell the attackers that these items are in your pocket, and the attackers can take them. Keep your hands up, palms open, just above shoulder height, unless you are told otherwise. Keep telling the attackers that they can have what they want, and “please don’t hurt me” – or “please don’t hurt us” if family members are present.
If they start manhandling you, still remain calm. Don’t retaliate. This would probably antagonise them and lead to shooting or other potentially fatal actions. Slaps, punches, and pistol-whippings leading to minor injuries can be patched up later, but bullet and knife wounds can be fatal.
If you have family members in your car, ask your attackers if they can get out of the vehicle. Keep your family members behind you. Again, this will be easier if family members have read this book or been coached in the event of such a scenario.
Sadly, we cannot avoid the reality of small children being caught up in these situations, so you have to let them know that there are bad people out there and they must listen to Mommy and Daddy if the bad people ever come or try to hurt Mommy and Daddy. If you have small children, I would seriously consider consulting with a child psychologist regarding the correct approach to informing your
children, and even a follow-up session once you have shared this information, including the whole family. We will go through more ideas and scenarios relating to small children when leaving the house with a parent in the next chapter.
If your attackers take your vehicle and some worldly possessions and leave you and your family relatively unharmed, this is great! There has been no serious injury or loss of life. If your attackers insist on taking you and your family, or members of your family, hostage – after you have begged and pleaded with them not to hurt you and your family – then we are faced with a highly sensitive and dangerous scenario.
If you as the man/husband are in the vehicle under a hostage situation, it is more likely that you won’t be as panicked as if it were, for example, your wife and children taken and you were left. Women are more prone to panic than men, so I repeat, involve family members in reading this book or coaching them in the event of such a scenario. If, for example, your wife is taken hostage, it is imperative that she take on the role that you have been performing – saying, “Please don’t hurt us. Please let us out.” She can try to offer jewellery, such as rings, chains, and earrings. Worldly possessions are of no consequence in this situation and should mean nothing to you and your family. Focus onlyon survival. When saying “Please don’t hurt us; please let us go,” her tone should be one of pleading. She must try not to lose her cool. She must try to identify with the least aggressive attacker in this scenario – the one who seems most likely to have a conscience. She must quote biblical terminology, such as “God loves us all,” “Jesus watches over all of us,” and “Jesus loves us all.” At the same time, she must be careful not to goad the attackers with statements such as “God will punish you for this.” She is not in a position to lecture the attackers in this situation; at this stage, they are in total control and she needs to get through to their conscience and not provoke them.
The same approach is applicable if it were you or your son, daughter, mother, or father. Even young children who are able to communicate need to appeal to the mercy of their attackers by
quoting biblical terminology. (Once again, I suggest a child psychologist help prepare young children for such situations.) Here we will also refer to the elderly, as they could be traumatised by the planning of security and could also require professional assistance, such as that of a psychologist, to avoid total paranoia and resultant nightmares and terror. My blood boils that we have to think this way, but we cannot escape the reality.
Let’s put your wife or teenage daughter back in this scenario. This is extremely difficult – I also have a wife and teenage daughter. There is no escaping the reality that rape could be an intended motive. This is where involving family members in reading this book or coaching them in the event of such a scenario will be vital. I keep repeating this for a reason: The more prepared everyone is, the better the chance of getting out of a situation unharmed and alive.
I would like to give you time to think about the rape scenario, and we can look at this in more detail in chapter 4.
I personally know a woman who was involved in a farm attack where there were five attackers. She was forced into the bedroom at gunpoint by one of the attackers, who intended to rape her. He forced her onto the bed, and his intentions were clear. She had a crucifix above her bed, and she kept repeating, “Jesus is watching over me.” The potential rapist let her go unharmed.
Getting back to the hostage situation: Appealing to the attackers’ conscience is the best way to get them to let you go. This could end a long way from home, and you or family members will have to try to locate a safe way of communicating to other family members that you are alive and have been released. Your attackers will most likely drop you off in a remote area to allow themselves ample time for a getaway in fear of the authorities being notified.
You would most likely be confused by your surroundings. It could be dark. My suggestion would be to walk towards the brightest lights you can see, or somewhere where there are a lot of people. You don’t want to go from the frying pan into the fire. If you find yourself in a remote unfamiliar area, approach cautiously and then observe the prospective help area before you just rush in. The brightest light could end up being a tavern full of drunken men,
which you should then obviously bypass and look for a safer means of help.
Remember, if you find yourself in this situation, hold on to the fact that you are lucky to be alive and try not to panic. Rather, be cautious. Your sole intention should be to make it back to your loved ones. Check my online store, CRSecurity Accessories & Outdoor, for the latest GPS tracking devices on the market. Choose one that is the least conspicuous and best suits you and your family members. I would suggest that every family member carry such a device.
Let’s go back once again to the moment when you are driving out of your driveway, this time through your remotely activated gate. You are facing your gate because you planned to go out forward and not in reverse. Do you drive directly up to your gate and then start opening it? No. You are now vulnerable to having a gun placed against your head. Rather, stop halfway down your driveway and allow the gate to open fully. Nine out of ten attackers will enter as soon as the gate starts opening in their eagerness to gain entry. They have most probably been waiting in anticipation for you to open the gate.
If you are armed, this scenario gives you the edge to draw your firearm in a “fight” scenario. If you are not armed, it could give you the edge to back into your home behind the security gate, where your wife or partner has pressed the security alarm activating the sirens or is blowing frantically on the whistle that hangs on a peg on the wall next to your security gate. Add this teamwork to your security plan! Do you have such a whistle? You should have!
Your dogs have by now changed their focus, having been alerted by the siren or whistle. (I have used my whistle on several occasions to test how my dogs react. It drives them into a frenzy, which is exactly the effect I want.) They are snapping at the heels of the once potential attackers.
Do you have a blind-spot mirror or mirrors outside your driveway gate to allow you to see if there are potential attackers hiding behind things like bushes and walls? You should have!
Now you are out of your yard on your way to work, following the same route you drive every day at the same time … Stop!You need
to alter your routine. Your attackers would have been observing your routine for a number of days to see when you leave and what time you get back from work. (We will look at the elements and plans regarding when you get back from work in the next chapter, as the wife or partner usually gets home before the man of the house, and there are significant risks involved in this scenario.)
Your attacker, although he has been observing your routine for a number of days, is also conscious that his loitering could be reported to the police or security company by a neighbour, or the security company could notice his presence in the vicinity. This is especially relevant in urban areas. (We will discuss neighbours in chapter 3.)
Your urban attacker – unlike those in rural areas, where there is more cover, fewer people, and less of a security presence – cannot just lean against a tree and observe your routine for hours. He would generally walk past your yard to avoid being identified as a loiterer and having his criminal record checked.
To change your routine, leave at different times on alternating days but keep changing. Don’t, for example make it six thirty in the morning on Monday, seven o’clock on Tuesday, and six thirty Wednesday, as this then becomes a routine of its own.
Changing your routine should go beyond your morning departures. Consider the following and how they may affect your security:
• Are you a social drinker – three times a week at the club with the boys? Is this part of a routine? When you have been drinking, does this affect your focus on security? Would it make you vulnerable?
• How often do you leave your wife or partner at home alone in the evenings? Is she safe? Is she prepared? Does she have a firearm; is she well trained?
• Do you or your wife or both of you have after-hours commitments, such as book clubs? Are these commitments/hobbies/activities a routine on certain days of the week at certain times?
Making a real and unpredictable change in all aspects of your routine could deter potential attackers, forcing them to explore other
hunting grounds. Another change I highly recommend is that you form a habit of “doubling back”, also on a random basis, as if you’ve forgotten something at home. This type of inconsistency, besides making it difficult to predict your own movements, is also highly relevant to the fact that it is often the attackers’ plan to wait for the man of the house to leave before they strike against the perceived weaker target: the woman of the house.
We are now going to explore this perception and negate this perception as best we can by analyzing and planning security elements involving the routine of the wife or partner in this next chapter.
I would like you to skip ahead and read Chapter 7 (Self defence) first, before you continue with the 2nd chapter; as if you have not already started with self defence training “I SUGGEST YOU START NOW or ASAP!”; as this will assist in equipping you with the “MOST” vital and Fundamental skills (namely, the form of self defence known as “Krav Maga” – this needs to be seen as a “FOUNDATION” upon which to build your security plan around). This will increase your confidence level and enable you to be better prepared to react quickly and decisively!
THE WIFE OR PARTNER’S ROUTINE AT HOME
SecurityRisksandHowtoPrepareforThemasaWoman
By now, I hope that both partners are up to speed, whether you are reading separate copies of this book or are starting your security plan as a team and have implemented some or most of the elements discussed thus far. I will still be making reference to the man of the house in this chapter, as I have already mentioned the overlapping factor of numerous elements pertaining to the security plan.
To start, let’s put you, the woman of the house, back at home after your husband or partner has left for work. You are most likely preparing yourself and the children before you leave to drop them at school and go to work. Unfortunately, attackers perceive women to be softer targets than men, and so they tend to target women more frequently.
This is when you really need to be alert. The man of the house has left, and your attackers will attempt to catch you out. Doublecheck all doors and security gates after your husband or partner leaves. Go through the same procedure that he did, as described in chapter 1. Check your outside yard area for any signs of intruders and things that could be out of place. Remember to check all blindspot mirrors. You should be carrying your firearm concealed but ready to use, assuming that you are well-trained. You should also have your alarm remote or at least your whistle at this stage, your can of pepper stream, and your Grabber neck knife ready to use. Not enough hands? If you have a remote alarm, consider hanging it around your neck. However, it is very important not to wear anything around your neck that could be used to strangle you. Think about this carefully. One possibility is a thin bath-plug chain that can
be purchased from almost any hardware store. This type of chain breaks easily when under tension but has sufficient strength to carry lightweight items. You will see this illustrated in chapter 8, as the Grabber neck knife is also carried on a bath-plug chain around one’s neck.
When checking your perimeter, it is best not to have your children around you. Keep them behind your cell gate. Be sure to teach them where alarm buttons and whistles are situated, and how and who to call on a cell phone or regular phone from within the cell area. You could be incapacitated, leaving your children with no means of communication. Hide a spare key within the cell area; show your children where it is kept, but teach them not to open the cell gate unless instructed by Mommy or Daddy.
It is advisable for you to be dressed and ready at the same time as your husband or partner to assist him in his departure –teamwork. This also allows you to focus better when doing your perimeter check, as your mind is not on doing your hair or having a shower. Only check the doors and security gates once you have checked the outside of the home and yard, as you want to avoid opening a door to find an attacker at your security gate, even if the gate is locked.
In such a situation, it would be advisable to duck, dodge, or dive out of the way to avoid your attacker catching you dead to rights. You could use your pepper stream if the attacker is not visibly armed. Remember to direct the spray stream at the person’s face as best as possible; your potential targets are the eyes, mouth, and nose – the “wet” points. When sprayed in the face, an attacker’s general reaction would be to wipe his face with his hand to remove the liquid substance. In the case of pepper stream, this results in more damage and a greater effect, as the attacker is unknowingly rubbing or spreading the liquid into the abovementioned target areas.
For those who have not been brave or stupid enough to test the effects of pepper stream on themselves, I can tell you with absolute honesty that it immediately results in the most excruciating, indescribable pain imaginable, especially when it gets in your eyes.
Please don’t try this on yourself. Take it from me. My incident occurred four years ago, and I still regret it. However, this is why I am an ardent fan of pepper stream in a self-defence scenario.
You still have your children in the house, possibly getting ready for school in their bedrooms. In this attack scenario, you would activate your alarm siren to hopefully deter your attackers and send a message to your security company and possibly neighbours as well. Or, if you don’t have an alarm system, you would blow your whistle to alert your children, get your neighbours’ attention, and hopefully deter your attackers. Your next objective would be to get back behind your cell gate as a matter of urgency, to protect your children and alert emergency contacts that you are under attack.
We have referred to keeping a cell phone or landline in your cell area; however, your landline could have been immobilised (cut), or you cell phone might have been misplaced or dropped outside the cell area. A good idea is to acquire additional cell phones (try to find a make or makes that maintain good battery life) and hide them, for example, under the lid of the cistern of your toilet using doublesided tape to secure it. I would suggest that you waterproof such phones by placing them in, for example, a ziplock bag or two and sealing it with rubber bands.
You would have to check the phones now and again to assess battery power, which will help you judge how often you need to charge them. You could leave the phones turned off or remove the battery to prolong battery life. Remember to leave a note with the PIN code and pre-program specific contact numbers onto the phones. All family members must be taught how to activate and use the phones in case of emergency.
The reason I suggest under the cistern lid is that attackers have a tendency to lock their victims in the bathroom. This method of hiding a cell phone can be applied in other areas of your home that you identify as possible areas you could be locked into, as well as outside rooms and garages, depending on your layout. In the case of farmers, one could extend this plan to, for example, your dairy or workshop. If you are in an office environment, phones could be taped under desks or chairs. Think about this for your security plan.
Some people might not be aware of this tip: If you have WhatsApp on your cell phone, you can use your phone to send your GPS co-ordinates. Go to your intended contact and then open the “paper clip” function, which shows a location on your screen. You can then activate the location function, which will bring up “Send your current location.” Activate this function to send your GPS location to your intended contact. Your contact will now have a range of information, including the distance and time it would take to walk or drive to your location. Your contact can follow these directions to your current location using the phone. He or she can also forward your location details to other contacts who can use this system to track your location. (Note that you and your contact must have Google Maps on your phones for all this to work.)
Now, back to your morning preparations. You have done your checks, and all appears to be normal. You and the children are ready to leave your home. You have already checked that the security gates are locked, but I suggest you do an additional check of the yard and mirrors and call your dogs once again.
If all appears to be in order, you are ready to make your exit to your car. You have pre-planned and loaded most of your luggage, school bags, and such while the man of the house was still around to enable you to focus on getting to your car with your children with minimal delay but still very much aware of your surroundings. What do you have in your hands at this moment? Your car keys? Do you have a whistle on your car keys? I suggest that you should have. (You will find me referring to whistles in numerous scenarios, as they can be used very effectively as a deterrent to attackers, and they also alert others that you are in distress.) In your right hand – or your left if that is your dominant hand – you should be carrying your pepper stream.
Unlock your car using the remote in your non-dominant hand to allow your children to enter the car, if they are old enough to do so themselves. Your children should be coached and disciplined as to the reason for this: to minimise delay and allow you to be in a more controlled stance to react to an attack. Your dogs should still be in close proximity to you at this stage. Make a quick check around your
car as in the first chapter, looking for obstacles and punctured tyres. When you get into the car, ensure that all doors are locked and windows are up.
If your children are very young or at infant stage, the plan changes drastically, because you will probably have to carry at least one child, and that child will have to be secured in a car seat. The best option in this scenario would be a rewind in which the man of the house to changes his plan to fit in with your departure, to enable you to, for example, deal with the small children while he has a show of presence. If this is not possible, it would be advisable to have your trusted maid or neighbour available to assist you, as this scenario places you and your children in a vulnerable position. When you are carrying children, you have your hands full. When you are securing them in their car seats, you have your back to the world, creating an easy target.
Remember to check your blind spots while you are doing this. Turn your head 45 degrees to the left and right to give yourself peripheral vision as to a sneak attack from behind. (Condition yourself to regularly to do these checks. This could notify you of a possible threat.) A self-defence technique I am fond of and have tried and tested is what I refer to as the “reverse donkey kick” or “reverse snap kick.” This kick can be unleashed with exceptional speed and effectiveness at the groin, knees, shins, or stomach of an unsuspecting attacker approaching from behind. In most cases this type of reverse kick will have an attacker on the run (or huddled over in excruciating pain), which would give you time to turn and use follow-up strikes and kicks to finish the job.
Let’s look at whistles again. I would suggest that you secure a whistle to each side of the passenger area, perhaps from the coathanger attachments. Please make sure they are out of reach of small children who could get them in their mouths and choke on them. While we are on the subject of whistles, I suggest you look at your security plan and consider hanging a whistle near every door in your home; next to your beds in your TV room; and in your vehicles. You should already have one on your key ring, but you can’t use this one very easily once your keys are in the ignition.
To elaborate on the use and effectiveness of a simple whistle: Frantic shrill blasts from a simple whistle will definitely get attention. In the event of an attack, this could deter an attacker who suddenly aborts his plans for fear of being caught. Or it could draw attention to you and alert someone to come to your assistance, noticing that you are under duress. (I re-emphasise: Please ensure that all your whistles are attached by an easily breakable thread, string, or bathplug chain! You don’t want to be strangled by your own whistle.)
Test the effectiveness of shrill frantic blasts on your whistle –preferably in a private area and not near someone’s ear or too near your dogs. You don’t want to damage eardrums. When I have tested my whistles, I have noticed that my two inside dogs are attracted to the sound as if they realise that this is a signal to react. Test and see what happens with your dogs. My dogs have not been trained in this scenario, and it could be a coincidence. (I will mention this again under the section dedicated to what type of dogs one should consider and where and how you should keep dogs.)
You are in your car facing the exit gate from your yard. The remote control for your gate is in easy reach, as you don’t want to delay your exit by fiddling in your bag. You need to go through the same process as discussed in the first chapter to avoid being caught dead to rights at your yard exit gate. Re-examine the procedures we discussed.
Hold on: Where are your dogs at this stage? You need to train your dogs not to chase after your car and not to run out of the yard when the electric gate is open, as you need to press your remote to close the gate while you are still in motion. Avoid stopping your car.
This is a hotspot.
What do you do if your remote electric gate is not working? You rewind back to your cell area and call for assistance, as your gate could have been purposefully immobilised by your attackers. Do not get out of your car to try to inspect your gate motor. Most electric gates are relatively simple to lift off the runner, allowing an attacker to gain entry into your premises.
You have now left your yard, having gone through the same paces as mentioned in chapter 1. You are, let’s say, on your way to drop
the youngest at day care and then the oldest child at school before you proceed to work. We will look at dropping off the children as one scenario, as all elements will apply similarly to day care and school.
You are not running late, because by now you and your husband or partner have made a lifestyle change according to your security plan to be more organised and focused, and to give yourselves time to allow for the aforementioned precautions.
The most important element when stopping or parking your car is observing what’s around you. In urban areas, stopping in an open area, preferably with other people around, largely reduces your chance of an attack. Avoid secluded areas, dimly lit areas, and areas with excessive cover, such as vegetation. You want to be in the public eye as much as possible.
Where is your pepper stream? In your handbag? It shouldn’t be, as you are about to get the children out of the car at their day care or school. Try to carry your pepper stream in a pocket or have an additional one on your key ring (you never know when you are going to need it). Your whistle is with your car keys, and you have the two in the passenger section attached to the coat hangers.
Check your blind spots. You don’t have your husband or partner to assist with presence and watching your back at this stage. You are in a public place, and you have your pepper stream and whistle, as well as your Grabber neck knife as back up. (You are still making notes and compiling your security plan with your husband or partner, correct? Good!)
When you are at work, you should be relatively safe – unless your work situation offers a potential for attackers to attempt a robbery. If you are caught dead to rights in such a scenario, give them what they want and negotiate and plead for your life as in chapter 1.
Perhaps you have planned to do grocery shopping after work. Choose a supermarket that has an open parking lot and is popular –and therefore well populated by fellow shoppers. This is what I refer to as the “wildebeest strategy”, similar to herds of wildebeest crossing a crocodile-infested river. There is security in numbers.
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"Put that monkey down, she'll tire you," said Ann.
Martin smiled, and, shaking his head, pressed his little one to him more closely. He however took a seat, and sat down in the shop, leaning his arm upon the counter. It was such a pleasure to him to feel the soft little hands of his child again stroking his face, and playing with his whiskers, and then the sweet infant lips pressed to his cheek.
In the conversation between husband and wife which followed, Ann took by far the larger share. She told all the gossip of the neighbourhood, while Martin sat listening, or perhaps scarcely listening, with a thoughtful, and somewhat anxious look on his face.
Ann expected a great deal of credit from her husband for the way in which she had conducted the business during his absence.
"I cleaned that window with my own ten fingers," she observed, "and that's not what every woman would have done, you may take my word for that."
The expected praise was heartily given.
"And I've arranged it too, with a pretty bit of taste; those picture ballads attract the passersby, as fly-papers catch flies, specially the one about the murder."
"Ah! That reminds me of what I had resolved on," said Martin, rising from his seat.
After setting down Annie on the counter, he went up to the window, took down the papers, and examined them, one after the other, dividing them into two sets as he did so. Martin then replaced the larger number in the window,
but four of the ballads he laid down on the counter with the words, "You had better use these to light the fire, my dear."
"Light the fire! My patience," exclaimed Mrs. Laver, her earrings glancing and twinkling with the jerk of her head. "Why, each of those may bring us a penny, and I'm not so flush of cash as to use them for lighting fires. Take care of the pennies, and the pounds will take care of themselves."
"With me this is no mere matter of money," said Martin. "I want to tell you, dear wife, all that is now on my mind. I've been thoughtless and careless enough in times past, but my eyes have been opened of late, and I intend, God helping me, to lead from henceforth the life of a Christian man."
Martin spoke with some effort, for he knew that his words would rouse a bitter feeling of opposition in his selfwilled and worldly wife.
"As a matter of conscience," continued the husband, "I have resolved that nothing immoral or profane shall ever again be seen in my shop."
"Hoity, toity! Fiddlety dee! Here's a pretty kettle of fish!" exclaimed Mrs. Laver, in a tone that frightened Annie, and made her stretch out her hands to her father. "I thought that, in the hospital, you'd have got rid of all that stuff and nonsense."
"In the hospital I hope that I have got clearer views both of a Christian's hopes and a Christian's duties than I ever had before," began Martin.
But his wife would not let him finish his sentence.
"Put back those pictures, I say, and don't let us have any more of this sort of thing, which will only keep us in perpetual hot water!" she exclaimed. "Put them back, or I'll do it myself," and she advanced as if to take them.
Martin was a poor man, but he knew that God had placed him in the position of master in his own little home. He did not choose to bandy words with his wife, but he gave his answer in his action.
Quickly and firmly, he put the four ballads together, and tore them across, then laid down the halves on the counter. There was a resolution shewn by his manner and look, that for a moment overawed as well as surprised Ann Laver. No man is likely really to lose his hold over the affections of his wife, by letting her see that her influence cannot turn him from what he knows to be right. The husband who wins his spouse's respect is most likely to keep her love.
Customers now entering the shop, Martin took his place behind the counter and served them, while Mrs. Laver carried off Annie to the little back parlour. The woman was sullen and out of temper; she foresaw that struggle which must take place, sooner or later, in every home, where two who are not agreed on the most important of subjects, are coupled together as man and wife.
"There will be no peace her; I can see that well enough," muttered Ann to herself. "He'll be pulling one way, I pulling the other; but let him drag his very life out, he'll never get me to follow him in his methodistical ways!"
The jerk which followed this resolution was more defiant than usual.
"There will be no peace here!" How often had that painful thought crossed the mind of Martin, as he had lain in
the hospital ward, silently resolving, at whatever cost, fully to follow the Lord.
Feeling too weak in health to be able to battle against a woman's violent will, yearning for the quiet, and comfort, and love, which can make even a humble home such a holy and happy place, Martin had looked forward with something like dread to the constant domestic struggle which was likely to follow any attempt on his part to lead a consistent life. Laver could better, far better, have borne even persecution from without, than the constant jarring with the woman whom he loved, which seemed likely to embitter his life. It was as one who girds himself and prepares for a painful conflict, that Martin, on returning to his home, resolved from the very first to confess his principles openly, to take his stand on the ground of conscience; and while acting with consideration and gentleness towards his wife, never to yield to her a single point where his duty to God was in question.
Martin had not, however, much opposition to encounter on that day of his return, which chanced to be the last of the week. Perhaps Ann's heart, for she had a heart, had warmed towards the husband of her youth, who had suffered so patiently and long; perhaps the sight of that pale sunken cheek roused a feeling of pity within her. Ann kept truce on the first evening, and gave only a look of careless indifference when Martin asked aloud a blessing at his meal, with his Annie's little hands tenderly folded within his own.
Annie was very unwilling to quit her father when Mrs. Laver, in her quick sharp manner, told her that it was time to come to bed, for that she could not keep her eyes open. Those blue eyes filled with tears, little arms were clasped round Martin's neck, and he only prevented the child from
bursting out crying, by a promise to come in a little while, and give her a good-night kiss. Mrs. Laver carried Annie upstairs, and Martin was left alone with his thoughts.
"That child is as a piece of my heart, dearer than my life!" reflected the parent. "Helpless and weak as she is, able to do little more than lisp my name, that very helplessness and weakness only serve to make her more dear! She can, at least, cling to me—and love. How gracious is God to compare His own tenderness to that of a parent! 'Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him.' And all that God requires of us is just what a parent requires of a child, faith, love, and obedience."
There was a proof of love and obedience which Martin knew it to be his bounden duty to give; but he, like many other fathers of families, especially those who are married to worldly wives, felt it to be a duty very difficult to perform. For some little time before going to the hospital, Martin had found the comfort of private prayer, but he had never yet ventured to propose family prayer to his wife. Martin knew that it would be well to begin the custom on that night; delay would not only be wrong, but would increase the difficulties before him.
Laver reproached himself for the repugnance which he felt to entering upon the subject to Ann. Were they not one in the sight of God and of man? Should they not be one in their hopes and their actions? But Martin knew too well that, in all that regarded religion, he and his wife were not one, but severed by a great gulf.
For several minutes he stood irresolute beside the little crib in which Annie lay asleep, before he could summon up
resolution to say to her mother, "Wife, let us thank God for His mercies, and ask for His blessing, together."
Without waiting for a reply, Martin instantly knelt down, and though Ann remained standing, she was perfectly quiet while her husband offered up a short but very earnest prayer for herself, himself, and their child.
To speak was at first an effort, but courage and joy came with prayer, and Martin rose from his knees like one who has had a burden rolled from his heart.
"Thank God, I have made a beginning!" thought the husband.
"Where will this end?" thought the wife.
CHAPTER III.
Division.
AS Martin Laver was still weak from recent illness, he slept till a later hour than usual on the Sunday morning. It would have been pleasant to him to have begun his homelife again with a day of rest, had he not more than suspected that, from the opposing views of his wife, Sunday, of all days in the week, was most likely to prove a day of conflict.
The first sight which greeted the eyes of Martin, after he had come downstairs in the morning, was that of Ann Laver arranging the pipes and cigars in the window.
"Nay, Ann, no need to take that trouble," said her husband. "I'll put up the shutters again. I've asked God's forgiveness for having so often broken the Fourth Commandment, and His help to keep it better in future. From this time forth, we will neither buy nor sell upon Sundays."
Ann's short truce with her husband was over, and her passion burst forth the more violently from having for a while been kept under control.
"I tell you what, Martin, I'm not going to have more of this nonsense!" cried the woman, turning fiercely round on her husband. "We've hard enough work as it is to keep soul and body together, while we do as other folk do. Sunday's our best day for business, and, if you're such an idiot as to put up your shutters to please the parson, you'd better give up shop-keeping at once, and take to begging, or throw yourself and your wretched family upon the mercy of the parish!"
"I do not think so," replied Martin, calmly. "I believe that no one is the worse in the end for obeying the Word of God in a simple, straightforward way. 'The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it.' * But were it not so, had we only the choice of a poorhouse with that blessing, or a palace without it, we should be fools indeed did we choose the latter. 'What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?'" †
* Prov. x. 22. † Matt. xvi. 26.
"I hope you don't mean to set up for a saint!" cried Ann, with a scornful jerk of the head.
"I wish to be a real Christian," replied Martin "and the one is the same as the other."
"What stuff you are talking!" cried Ann, with impatience. "Of course we are Christians, not heathens, though we don't pretend to be saints."
"Saint, which means holy, is the Bible name for all God's servants," replied Martin, leaning against the counter as he spoke. "You will find the word Christian, I think, but three times in all the Scripture, that of Saint more than forty or fifty; St. Paul's description of all the Lord's people in Rome was 'beloved of God, called to be saints.'" †
† Rom. i. 7.
"I am no saint, and I don't want to be one," said Ann Laver, with scorn; "but I know that I'm a baptised Christian, and that is enough for me!"
"Simon had but lately been baptised," observed Laver, "when St. Peter, the apostle, said to him, 'Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter, because his heart was not right in the sight of God.' ‡ Oh! Dear wife, suffer me to speak for a few minutes freely on those things on which our salvation depends. God asks for our hearts, He will accept nothing less, and He accepts these hearts that, by His Spirit, He may make them holy."
‡ Acts viii. 21.
Ann would not hear her husband to the end.
"How you veer and change about!" she exclaimed. "Before you went to the hospital, it was all—'What must I do to be saved?' And now you are all for holiness as the way to get to Heaven."
"No, never, not the way!" exclaimed Martin, with such energy that his wife stared at him in surprise. "Christ is the Way, the only Way, it is His blood that cleanseth from all sin. * But, as some good man has said, 'He does not save us in our sins, but from our sins.'
* 1 John i. 7.
"'If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature'; † he that comes to the Saviour in faith, seeks to follow the Saviour in that 'holiness without which no man shall see the Lord!'" ‡ † 2 Cor. v. 17. ‡ Heb. xii. 14.
Ann Laver had never come to the Saviour, nor felt her need of being saved; she was one of the many who choose their own way, and do their own will, and yet expect, somehow or other, to get to Heaven in the end. She was like a person with bandaged eyes walking towards the edge of a precipice, and the attempt to unbandage her eyes, or stop her on her perilous course, only roused her pride and her anger. It is needless to repeat the bitter things which she said to him whose love had made him speak the truth which she hated to hear. After a violent burst of temper,
Mrs. Laver, slamming the door behind her, retired into the back parlour, where Annie had good reason to know that something had put her mother thoroughly out of temper.
With a heavy sigh, Martin Laver went to put up his shutters again. He was so weak from his recent illness, that he had to pause more than once, even when making so slight an exertion. Six months before he would have lifted ten times the weight of a shutter with ease. It was sad to feel the once strongly-knit arms so feeble; but it was not this sense of weakness, nor the fear of approaching poverty, that drew that deep sigh from Laver's heart. It was the burden of that cross which is wont to press more or less heavily upon all who would follow Christ fully—that cross of which the Blessed Master knew the weight day by day, and which He bids all His servants take up.
"Because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you," * the Lord once said to His disciples, and through His Word He says so still. Persecution has been the portion of God's saints not only in times when fire and sword were used to destroy them, but when hatred could be shewn only in sneers and taunts, that do not endanger life, but deprive it of earthly enjoyment.
* John xv. 19.
While Laver was replacing the shutters, he thought of Christian in "Pilgrim's Progress," and how hard his wife tried to stop him when he would flee from the wrath to come.
"He had to bear her taunts and revilings," thought Laver; "what a hard struggle it must have cost Christian to leave all that had once been most dear. How different would
his pilgrimage have been, had he and his wife been of one heart and one mind, and gone through all their trials together! But though his wife would not go one step with him, she followed at last in his track. Doubtless he had prayed for her very, very often, and God answered his prayer, though not till after Christian had left this earth and its sorrows behind him. Perhaps it may be thus with us; my poor Ann may remember my words, when I am no more here to speak them."
Martin raised his hand to his brow, for a faintness was coming over him. "God help me to be so careful in my daily conduct, to keep my lips and my life so pure, that my wife must own, however unwillingly, that in trying to be a better Christian, I am also a better husband, father, and friend. When she taunts me with being a saint, may I have grace to become one indeed, that, at least, she may never think me a hypocrite, saying one thing and doing another."
Ann would scarcely speak to her husband during all the time of breakfast, but she missed no opportunity of speaking at him, addressing herself to their child.
"Ah! You want more butter to your bread, do you?" she cried, pushing towards Annie a slice which she had just cut from the loaf. "Your father takes good care that we shan't have butter, and it will soon come, I suppose, to doing without the bread too!"
Ann glanced angrily towards the darkened shop as she spoke.
Annie held out her little foot to her mother, one of her tiny shoes needed repair, and the cotton sock appeared through a hole in the leather.
"So you want new shoes, little brat!" cried Ann. "I only wish you may get them! You'll have to run barefoot about the streets soon, and what will you do then, I wonder!"
"Ask Daddy carry me!" lisped the little child, as she calmly went on with her meal, undisturbed by fears for the future.
Even Ann could scarcely help smiling at the unexpected reply.
And Martin, as he stooped to kiss his little one, thought, "if she can so quietly trust her father, shall I not trust mine, who is the Giver of all good things?"
"I suppose you'll be going to some prayer-meeting or other?" said Ann, abruptly, to her husband, as soon as the uncomfortable meal was ended.
"I am going to church," replied Martin, and he could not forbear adding, "I wish we could go there together."
"Oh! I'm no saint, whatever you may be!" exclaimed Ann, with a jerk of the head. "I'm going to Greenwich with the Battens and their set—a lark on the river is a deal more to my taste than all your preaching and praying. I shall pay for my trip with my last Sunday's earnings, which I've kept for the purpose," she added, to give a keener sting to her taunt.
"I should be the last to wish to deprive you of any harmless pleasure," said her husband; "but if you spend the Lord's day in such an excursion, it will be without my consent."
"Your consent, indeed, I never asked for it!" exclaimed the rebellious wife to him whom she had vowed before God
to obey. "You go your way, I will go mine; with your leave or without your leave, I'm off to Greenwich by two."
The husband and wife were, indeed, walking on different paths, such as must conduct to different ends. "Broad is the way that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat; because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life." * These are our Lord's own words; but how few act as if they believed them to be true!
* Matt. vii. 13, 14.
Crowds press along the broad way, careless and disobedient, yet hoping that, after all, peace and rest and Heaven will be theirs at the end! "Ye shall not surely die" † is the Devil's whisper still, and, like Eve, we are too ready to listen. But let those who would continue in their sins remember that God hath declared in His word that "the end of these things is death," ‡ and that they who are His servants indeed have their fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
† Gen. iii. 4. ‡ Rom. vi. 21.
MARTIN found the time spent in church a time of refreshing, and returned to his home in a quiet, tranquil mood, better able to bear and to forbear, with the charity which hopeth and endureth all things. It grieved him, however, to see his wife dressed in as flaunting a style as their narrow means would allow, and his child also decked out in tawdry finery, wearing a faded red sash, and a blue bead necklace round her neck.
The dinner was as uncomfortable a meal as the breakfast had been, though Mrs. Laver now put on gaiety of manner, in a spirit of defiance to her husband. She took pleasure in talking to her child of the delights of the coming treat, the band that would play on the deck of the steamer, and all the mirth and fun there would be amongst the company there.
Annie was too young to understand or to care much about such things; she was rather frightened at the idea of going amongst strangers, and looking up with her arch innocent eyes into her father's face, she lisped out, "Daddy come too!"
Martin shook his head, and replied, as he stroked the soft hair of his child, "No, Annie, father is not going in the steamer, father is stopping behind."
"Then Annie 'top too!" cried the little one, thrusting her small hand into that of her parent.
"You little goose, do you mean that you will not go with me, and have all the fun?" asked Ann, in an angry tone, which certainly had not the effect of making the child desire to do so.
"No, Annie 'top with Daddy!" repeated the little one, beginning to cry at the idea of being taken away.
"Oh! I'm sure I don't want you, you'd be only a plague; there's nothing so tiresome as having children dangling about one in a steamer; one's always afraid of the stupid brats falling overboard," cried Ann, with a passionate jerk. "It's time I was off," she said, rising from the table; "your father will have had enough of your company, I guess, before I come back in the evening."
But here Mrs. Laver was wrong. Never had the invalid more enjoyed a walk than he did the quiet stroll which he took into Kensington Gardens on that warm afternoon, to give his pale little girl fresh air. How pleasant felt the breeze on his cheek, how bright were the rays of sunshine that streamed here and there through the trees, what a thankful heart was lifted up to God from him who so lately had left a sick-bed, as he sat quietly on the green grass, with his darling playing at his feet!
Annie's simple prattle was to her father's ear sweeter than any music, and scarcely disturbed the holy thoughts which were passing through his mind.
"Much as I delight in my child, should I be willing that she should remain always what she is now, small, weak, and knowing little? I look for growth in her young frame, and if from month to month she never grew taller, I should know that some disease must be stunting my child. So we are told in the Scripture to 'grow in grace,' * every passing month should leave us more earnest, devout, and humble. If our religion be not a growing one, it is a stunted one, nay, we have reason to fear lest it be dead altogether. Faith, true living faith, must expand into holiness, as the bud opens into the flower, and the dawn brightens into the day!"
* 2 Peter iii. 18.
Annie and her father were very happy together; and when Martin slowly walked homewards, holding the hand of the little prattler who trotted by his side, it seemed to him that but for one trial, he would be one of the happiest men upon earth. But the remembrance of his wife was to Martin like a heavy black cloud in an otherwise brilliant sky. Silently, he prayed for Ann as he walked, though little knowing how much at that moment she needed his prayers.
Scanty as was the evening meal, Annie made it a very merry one. No butter had been left from the breakfast, so she played at spreading the dry bread with her spoon, and when her father cut it into pieces, and called them soldiers, the child ate it as contentedly as if it had been iced-cake. Then a few empty reels to play with, made the little one perfectly happy; and while she rolled them backwards and forwards on the floor, Martin could quietly enjoy the pleasure of reading.
First, he read his Bible, then a book which had been lent to him by the chaplain of the hospital which he had recently quitted. It contained the Memoir of a missionary's wife, * who had laboured amongst the Jews in the Turkish province of Moldavia. Martin felt particularly interested in the account given of Nahum, a convert, as conveyed in such passages as these, which I extract from the published letters of the lady:
"I wish I could bring before you an aged man, highly esteemed among the Jews, and also by the Rabbis, a respectable shopkeeper, a good Hebrew scholar . . . He is of an acute and philosophical turn of mind, and was a bitter opposer of Christianity. Fancy this man brought to the feet
of Jesus, and you will see our most interesting Rabbi Nahum . . . He says that in hours of need he has prayed in the name of Christ, and is now praying for strength to confess Christ openly; but he says Abraham was praised because he was willing to give up his one child; but he would need to be nine times as strong as Abraham to give up his nine. He desires the prayers of Christ's people."
* Memoir and Letters of Mrs. Edwards.
"Poor fellow! Poor fellow!" murmured Martin, pausing for a moment in his reading. "His was a hard test of faith indeed; but could he not take his children with him?" And the father glanced fondly at his Annie, before he went on with his book.
Some way farther on in the volume, he again found mention of Nahum.
"His mind seems more and more decided; he speaks now of baptism, though still indirectly. He acknowledges that faith should trust all things to the Lord, that He is able to do all things for us. But who can withhold sympathy from the father of nine children, when taking a step which probably will involve them all in ruin.
"I feel for him from the bottom of my soul!" exclaimed Martin.
After reading several more pages in the volume, Martin came to the account of the baptism of Nahum with three of his children, after bitter opposition from his unconverted wife.
"She would not eat nor drink, she abused and upbraided him," but she could not hold him back from his purpose of openly confessing his Saviour. Martin eagerly read the account of Nahum's first meeting with his wife, after the decisive step had been taken, and her passionate exclamations of sorrow for her three baptised children.
"I hear not I hear not! I die—I die! I will kill them, then I will die! And indeed," wrote the missionary's wife, "she threw herself on the balcony ready to die. We feared more for the old man. Twenty-five years have they lived together, true, faithful, attached. After she went, his anguish was fearful."
"Anguish, indeed!" exclaimed Martin. "When I think of this poor Jew's heavy cross, I take shame to myself for shrinking from taking up mine, which is so much lighter. I daresay that he had other troubles to bear besides the fierce opposition of his wife."
Martin read on as follows:
"The dear old man determined on Monday to open his shop, his own shop, in a street where there are none but Jews. He did so, it almost cost him his life. Upwards of a thousand Jews assembled, stones were thrown, and all manner of abuse heaped on him."
"And I," thought Martin, with self-reproach "have deemed it a sacrifice merely to close my shop upon Sundays, to run the risk of a little loss, of having, maybe, one meal less in the day, or a more threadbare coat on my back! What a small—what a paltry sacrifice seems mine by the side of that of this brave old man, with a thousand of his old neighbours and countrymen baiting him, yelling at him, trying to stone, so fierce against him, that I see that it
is written a little farther on, 'could they have gotten him they would have minced him into shreds!'—Ah! I am glad that the Germans were able to protect him a little."
In Mrs. Edwards' next letter, Martin read more of the dangers of Nahum and his Christian children, who had taken refuge under the missionary's protection.
"The Jews collected in vast multitudes, the uproar became great, the police could not keep peace. Our house had been beset with Jews all day looking over the paling, beating any of the lads whom they found in the streets, throwing stones into the court, &c. At length, at night I was awakened by loud noises at the gate; they were trying to break in. Nahum and his children were sleeping in a little room near the gate; their object certainly was to beat or to murder him, and carry off the children . . . A boy on horseback was sent to the Consul for assistance . . . Meantime several Germans had encountered the Jews, and driven them back."
"This poor Nahum seems to have led the life of a hunted hare," observed Martin; "but the worst of all must have been the division between him and his wife. Ah! There seems to be something more about her on the very next page."
He read on—
"His poor wife held out ten days, begging for a divorce, which he would not grant. At length, both she and her eldest son came at night to our house with the young child, and there they all are now. They are very anxious to be baptised."
"Anxious to be baptised!" exclaimed Martin, joyfully, half-closing the book. "Then the tie between man and wife
held fast after all the hard strain upon it, and when she could not drag him back from the Lord, her husband drew her towards the Saviour! Here are Christian and Christiana in that far-away place, Moldavia!"
Martin went on with his reading again.
"Ah! I see that the missionary wisely refused to baptise the wife till she should shew that she really desired to be Christ's, and not merely to please her husband. But Nahum had won the victory; his home was to be a Christian home."
Here is something more about him in a letter from the lady farther on in the book:
"In the old man we have exceeding great joy; he reads each morning the Scriptures with his family, expounds and prays."
"That story of Nahum, the converted Jew, seems as if it were just written for me," cried Martin, laying down the volume on the table. "Here am I, an Englishman, in a Christian land, half-afraid to say to my neighbours, 'I will close my shop on Sundays, because I will honour the law of God,' lest they should, perchance, laugh at me for being 'a Saint.' There was Nahum, openly confessing his faith at the risk of losing both property and life! Here am I, grieved and discouraged by a few hasty words from poor Ann; there was Nahum standing firm against the persuasions, the anger, the despair, of his wife, though he dearly loved her! A poor kind of Christian must I be! I fear but a coward at heart, and ill-fitted to bear the burden and heat of the day. God help me, and give me more grace and more courage, and then, perhaps, He will one day give to me, as to faithful Nahum, more cause to rejoice over a converted and loving wife!"
