A passion for kindness making the world a better place to lead love and learn tamara letter - The fu
Passion for Kindness Making the World a Better Place to Lead Love and Learn Tamara Letter
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Navigating Place-Based Learning: Mapping for a Better World Elizabeth Langran
“Tamara Letter urges us all to become the ‘ ...best version of you that you can be’ in her new book. She definitely possesses a super power and it’s to help the children she teaches, the friends, colleagues, and family members she enlists, and the strangers she embraces to find within themselves a value for the ultimate gift we can give away—our kindness. A Passion for Kindness is a gift of kindness to all of us, especially educators who care deeply and want to help their students experience empathy for others. Throughout her book, Tamara also helps us see that planting seeds of kindness grows gardens, fields, and forests of care for others, especially those in pain, those with great loss, and those who feel hopeless. Her stories of RAK, also known as random acts of kindness, in response to the tragic loss of children’s lives in school shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary and Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School help us all find rays of sunshine in these darkest of storms. Yes, Tamara certainly has a super power. Read her book—it will remind you that paying kindness forward doesn’t cost us a dime, but it will result in an investment in a kinder future for our schools, communities, and world. Imagine a world filled with kindness—Tamara is making that happen!”
—Pam Moran, coauthor of Timeless Learning and executive director of the Virginia School Consortium for Learning
“Tamara Letter’s book, A Passion for Kindness, is a must-have book for any kindness cultivator that wants to make the world a better place. Through her experiences, and the stories of those she spotlights, we are empowered with creative ways to show kindness
to others. Her positivity shines throughout this book, reminding us that empathy, compassion, and connection can be found in everyone if we simply listen to the quiet whisper of our hearts.”
—Leon Logothetis, best-selling author of TheKindnessDiaries
“It can be tempting to dismiss a book like this as too feel-good, or even naive, in our current climate. But Tamara gives kindness a powerful voice and shows how simple acts can have lasting positive impacts. I loved every moment of reading this book and plan to revisit it often for its inspirational, yet practical, examples of kindness that can be implemented in school, home, and community. Tamara includes the research. Guess what? There is some truth to the power of this kindness stuff, folks, with goodness for both the giver and receiver. Don’t just read this book: Put its lessons into practice, and together, with Tamara as our guide, we can overcome the negative forces that threaten to overwhelm us.”
Karen Work Richardson, PhD, executive director, Virginia Society for Technology in Education
“I have been following Tamara’s kindness journey on social media for a few years now and I am so grateful for this book where I can learn more about her incredible Passion Projects and the other ways Tamara instills kindness in every aspect of her life. In A Passion for Kindness, Tamara shares her insights, experiences, and ideas for how we can make the world a better place if only we cultivate kindness. As someone who believes in the power of social media for good, I fully appreciated each chapter’s Kindness Cultivator, which celebrates a person in Tamara’s life (online and in person) who is doing good in the world, for the world. This book will give you ideas
for spreading positivity, no matter what subject or grade you teach. And let’s face it, we can all use a little more kindness in the world.”
—Jennifer Casa-Todd, teacher-librarian and author of Social LEADia
“Tamara Letter gently folds in quotes, metaphors, stories, and points to ponder throughout her engaging book, A Passion for Kindness. The stories from Kindness Cultivators were just the examples needed as evidence of vulnerability, choices, seeing the unseen, knowing the power in roots and stems, and more. Tamara walks the reader through memories and some uncomfortable situations that led to random acts of kindness. She shares stories about how teachers empowered students to spread kindness throughout and beyond school. I highly recommend reading APassionfor Kindness. Just be aware that this book will touch your heart, change your thinking, and impact you so you will want to cultivate kindness. Thank you, Tamara!”
—Barbara Bray, creative learning strategist, author, blogger and podcast host at Rethinking Learning (barbarabray.net)
“Your heart will be filled with a passion for kindness and your head will be bursting with ideas after you read this engaging and inspiring book by Tamara Letter. Once you begin reading A Passion for Kindness, you will not want to put it down. Readers connect with Tamara through her own beautifully told stories of challenge and triumph while being absolutely in awe at her incredible devotion to spreading kindness everywhere. Being an avid kindness researcher, Tamara includes stories of others’ kindness missions as well as a plethora of kindness resources. This book is not only a gift to all educators but to all of humankind. Tamara is a difference-maker and
a world-changer and a blessing to us all as a transparent kindness ambassador.”
—Allyson Apsey, elementary principal and author of The Path toSerendipity
“APassionfor Kindnessis pure joy! Tamara had me captivated from beginning to end as she beautifully wove her own personal experiences with those of others to capture the incredible power of kindness. Each chapter is full of inspiring, practical ideas and thought-provoking questions to empower you to spread positivity and joy to those around you no matter who or where you serve. This book is a must-read that I highly recommend to anyone who wants to make this world a better place.”
—Tisha Richmond, tech integration specialist and author of MakeLearningMagical
“Tamara Letter takes you on an empathetic journey that will leave you inspired and compelled to sincere action. You will not only have a passion for kindness after reading, but you will be compelled to take sincere next steps to support others. Celebrate kindness and take these lessons to dynamic action for your community.”
—Sean Gaillard, principal and author of ThePepperEffect
“In a world where kindness is often overlooked, Tamara Letter reminds us how even the smallest and simplest random acts of kindness can have an endless ripple effect on those near and far. From personal stories that relate to the heart to research and references that strengthen the mind, everyone who reads this book will be inspired to make the world a better place. We need more
kindness in this world and Tamara will show you how you, and your students, can help.”
—Annick Rauch, French immersion educator, learner, and mom
“Throughout the pages of A Passion for Kindness, Tamara Letter eloquently pens the stories of not only the acts of kindness she has personally shared with others, but those implemented by kindness cultivators around the world as well. As I read each carefully placed word within this beautiful work of art, I found myself saying, ‘That’s brilliant! I can do that! Why have I never considered that simple yet profound kind deed?’
“Tamara’s storytelling moved me—deep within my soul. I’m not going to lie; sometimes it caused my eyes to leak a little. I was not only moved emotionally, but I was also moved to act! It’s true: I now carry a roll of quarters with me everywhere I go.
“Do you want to make the world a better place? Every human (no matter your role in this thing called life) should read A Passion forKindnessand find ways to share more love to those around us.”
Tara M. Martin, educator, keynote speaker, and author of BeREAL
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing by the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review. For information regarding permission, contact the publisher at books@daveburgessconsulting.com.
This book is available at special discounts when purchased in quantity for use as premiums, promotions, fundraisers, or for educational use. For inquiries and details, contact the publisher at books@daveburgessconsulting.com.
Published by Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc.
San Diego, CA
DaveBurgessConsulting.com
Cover Design by Genesis Kohler
Editing and Interior Design by My Writers’ Connection
12. Be the Good Kindness Campaigns and Organizations Notes Acknowledgments
Invite Tamara Letter to your school, business, or social event.
More from Dave Burgess Consulting, Inc. About the Author
WHAT GOES AROUND
When I was small, my grandmother had a favorite phrase she would repeat when she encountered others who were a bit unkind in their words or actions. “What comes around, goes around,” she would mutter as she brushed off the negativity and went about her day. For years I viewed that phrase as one of vengeance, a punishment that would naturally occur to all those who had caused others hurt or pain. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I realized the true power in those words—when viewed from the rose-colored glasses of optimism and positivity. What would happen if I shifted the perspective and chose to see the good that people did? Would that “come around” as well?
I believe each and every one of us has the power to make a positive impact on the world around us. As a cultivator of kindness, I have seen firsthand the boomerang effect: The joy you give others through your words and actions really does bounce back to you. Kindness inspires others to plant their own seeds, which take root and bloom in remarkable ways. The process continues in countless ways, even without our knowledge.
The beauty of kindness is that it’s not a tale of him or her or even you or me. It’s a journey we share together. We do not live in
silos from morning to night. Each day we are called to work with others, to coexist in a world where kindness is rarely a black-andwhite task listed on our daily agendas. We have to be intentional about it and prioritize kindness by setting the example ourselves.
We can be the good.
We can spark the light.
We can be a catalyst of change.
We can make a positive difference in this world.
The lessons learned and shared in this book are universal; they apply at school, at home, in the workplace, and in our travels. How we treat others is about valuing human potential; with kindness, the world is a little brighter, a little easier, a bit more manageable. We are reminded that we are never truly alone.
Quite simply, kindness matters.
As you turn the pages, you will learn more about my personal kindness journey and encounter stories of kindness cultivators around the world who are making a difference in their classrooms and communities. From a group called Secret Sisters who commit acts of kindness for grieving families to educators across the world joining together to flash mob kindness on an inner-city pizzeria, you will be inspired to lead, love, and learn.
In the chapters ahead, you will dive deep to sit with elementary students who are creating kindness passion projects and discover high school students who are using their talents to change communities one nail at a time. You will explore school-wide kindness initiatives and the multitude of ways to start a cultural shift focused on empathy and compassion.
This book will introduce you to students, teachers, and school leaders who believe in the power of altruism, showcasing methods of working together to make this world a better place. You can even
learn more about kindness organizations and explore free resources to enhance your classroom lessons and school programs.
Even if you are not an educator by profession, the stories shared in this book can be applied to your life. Challenge yourself to reflect on the Points to Ponder at the end of each chapter and seek out new opportunities to shine a light on inspiration.
If you are looking for simple ways to positively impact others, this is the book for you!
Kindness inspires.
Be the good!
PART I
SEEDS OF INSPIRATION
If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.
— MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
THE POWER OF WORDS
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
— MOTHER TERESA
“H
as anyone ever been the new kid in town? Anyone move in the middle of a school year? What was that like for you?”
I posed that question to a class of fifth graders, who immediately raised their hands and voices, eager to share stories of feeling awkward and uncomfortable, of being afraid, embarrassed, and humiliated. But not one student shared a story of kindness.
I dug a little deeper with my questioning. “What was it like that first day? What do you remember?”
More stories of fear and nervousness, wanting to cry, feeling the glare of others staring back at you. Still no kindness.
Eventually a soft-spoken girl raised her hand to speak. “The first day was hard, but my teacher was really nice to me.”
Other students turned to face her, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally. Something positive.
Once she shared her experience, another girl chimed in with a happy memory, then another, and another, and another. All of a sudden, this class that, moments before, was knee-deep in sorrow and despair had sailed into a calmer sea of fond reflections. Unfortunately, we still had one glaring problem before us, the elephant in the room.
Many of these students were not being kind to one another. I brought them together to share my own personal story of being the new kid in town. I wanted them to see the power of their words and how words spoken at the age of ten could still resonate in the heart of an adult decades later. This is where my kindness story begins.
The Picked-On Kid
I was the picked-on kid. Short. Freckles. Glasses. A recipe for social disaster when you’re the new kid in town. We had moved only ten miles east, but you would have thought we landed in a new world. Everything was different. New house. New school. New rules.
It was the middle of my third-grade year, and all I saw was loss. Before my mom could finish packing my metal Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox, I knew my first day would be a disaster. I didn’t want to leave the friends I knew so well. I didn’t want a new beginning, and I was filled with conflicting emotions that I couldn’t describe. Everything felt out of control.
My panic rose as I walked through the unfamiliar hallways on that first day in my new school. What if I entered the wrong classroom? What if nobody played with me at recess? What if I had to go to the bathroom? What if I got on the wrong bus to go home?
I was consumed with worry and wanted to run away, but there was nothing I could do to relieve the fear. I had to enter the classroom and find my seat.
That’s when I heard the whispers.
“She’s the new kid.”
“Where did she come from?”
“What’s her name again? Tammy . . . PAYNE?”
“Oh yeah, I bet she is a pain, too. You can already tell.”
“Her glasses look like Coke bottles.”
I had barely taken off my coat when the cruel words filled my ears. It was the first time I realized my last name was a homophone. Their careless comments reddened my cheeks as I slid farther down in my seat, the fear and embarrassment immobilizing any attempt at unpacking my supplies.
I was the new kid in class, and they already hated me.
I paused my story, the past fading into present day as I looked at the fifth graders sitting there. The silence in the room was deafening. Some students fiddled with their fingers in their laps. Some looked away when my eyes met theirs. Everyone felt the weight of my words.
“That happened to me when I was eight years old. I am now in my forties, and I can still hear their taunts in my mind as if it was yesterday. I am sharing this story with you for one reason alone: Your. Words. Matter. Choose them wisely, for they will last longer than the notebooks you are writing in today.”
When students were given an opportunity to share their voices by completing an online survey on friendship, they poured their hearts out on the final question: “What do I want my teacher to know?”
Their responses revealed who was being excluded and why, who got into an argument with a friend, and who was not playing fairly at recess. When given a chance to share their voices, it was clear who was being kind and who was not. It was time to readjust my lessons. I needed to provide some intentional grouping with a variety of activities that provided more opportunities for communication and collaboration. I had to reflect on the words I used with students. Didthey liftothersup or tear themapart?How did my responses translate back to them? These insights into my own behavior reminded me, yet again, of the power of words.
The Social Dilemma
Social dynamics in the classroom can make or break your year. Students spend at least six hours a day in the confines of a classroom or a school, and during that time they are expected to master the curriculum taught while also navigating the tumultuous waters of social interaction. Are we guiding them in the power of their words as they do this?
How do we approach students who are being unkind with their words? Is it their issue or one we pass along to the school counselor, assuming they will be able to fix the problem? Do we interrupt them halfway through their comment in class, with no alternative way for them to share their thoughts with others? What is our role in shaping students as they converse with their classmates?
Every person in the school community has a stake in the game of guiding students to be respectful, productive citizens. We can’t turn away and assume someone else will deal with the issues that arise. When we sign that contract each year to continue our journey as educators, we commit to teaching students not only the state-
mandated curriculum but also the unspoken nuances of working together, building relationships, and growing into adults who can harness their own potential to make their mark in this world.
What opportunities are we providing students to practice these skills in class? Are we teaching them to be aware of the weight of their words?
It starts with us.
In Chapter 5 of ShiftThis!: How to ImplementGradualChanges for MASSIVE Impact in Your Classroom, Joy Kirr provides practical examples of how to shift discussions in the classroom so that students are empowered to share their voices:
Whole-group Discussions: All students respond to one question with a limited number of answers, splitting the room into halves or fourths, then take turns to share their perspectives in a respectful way.
Fishbowl Discussions: A small group of students sit in the center of the room with remaining classmates spanning out in circles behind to act as observers or recorders until they want to join in the conversation.
Backchannel Discussions: Students add their thoughts to a discussion digitally without speaking aloud.
EdCafes: Questions are placed around the room to prompt small group discussions based on interest or preference.
Harkness Method: Students sit around a table and discuss questions about their current topic of study.¹
Whether you implement traditional modes of communication such as speaking face-to-face or choose to demonstrate the power
of technological tools such as Google Apps, Flipgrid, or Seesaw, student voice is essential to creating a kind culture in and out of the classroom. It’s imperative to provide a safe place where students can practice digital communication before they engage in real-time online banter, which can have life-changing consequences if used inappropriately.
Kind words are evident in our day-to-day lives. The challenge is recognizing those moments when they occur. Starbucks employees ask for your name so when your order is ready, it’s a more personable experience than just shouting out, “Who ordered the tall, skinny, nonfat, mocha latte?” Chick-fil-A employees complete every action with, “My pleasure.” These simple statements are small, yet powerful, ways to make someone’s day a little brighter.
Whether you are an educator, business owner, parent, or coworker, the same principles apply. Your. Words. Matter.
To boost the impact of your message, reflect on the words you use with others on a regular basis: in conversations, during meetings, in the classroom, with your family. Do your words make people smile? Do they encourage positive interaction? How do you use your words to inspire others?
What I experienced as the picked-on kid sparked a desire to help similar children overcome hurdles to reach their highest potential. It is the earliest memory I have of wanting to be a teacher in order to make a difference in the lives of others. What I couldn’t foresee at that time was the role kindness would play in that journey.
Illustration: Julie Woodard (@woodard_julie)
Choose Kind
Each time Theresa Holloran’s prekindergarten students enter her classroom, they tap a “Choose Kind” sign taped outside her door. In a tweet she posted to Twitter, Holloran explained:
Just as football players touch an inspirational sign before a game, my students touch #choosekind . . . a visual reminder, a physical reminder to treat others with kindness (@TheresaHolloran, July 23, 2018).
Her students are learning important lessons about positive social interaction with their peers and other adults even before they can read and write.
Think of the small moments in your morning. Do they set a tone of joy and peace? Tara Martin (@TaraMartinEDU), author of Be REAL: Educate from the Heart, finds joy in the journey by making her first email of the day a gratitude email, thanking someone she knows. In her blog post, “Gratitude First,” she states:
“I want my thoughts to be authentic, so I’m constantly on the lookout for things for which to be thankful. As I see them or think of them, I make a note on my phone, type a text to myself, or voice memo a message so I can listen to it later.” Choosing words of gratitude to share with others brings joy to both parties!
There is a popular display in classrooms and schools across the country using the acronym THINK: Before you speak, THINK! Is it: T–True H–Helpful I–Inspiring
N–Necessary K–Kind
Illustration: Julie Woodard (@woodard_julie)
Another popular adage is “Pause Before You Post,” which conveys the importance of taking time to think about our digital communication before we share it with the world. We all can use these reminders from time to time! Embracing the power of words is choosing words in deliberate ways to uplift, not tear down. It’s one of the many free ways to show kindness to the world!
Negate the Naysayers
Recognizing the impact of our words is not limited to students and teachers in the classroom. Each person you know has the power of words at their disposal. Do your words heal or harm? One of my dear friends, Annick Rauch (@AnnickRauch), a first-grade French immersion teacher in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, reminds me, “Stepping on others doesn’t make you taller.” She’s absolutely right! Pushing down people to shine a light on yourself only dims the view others see.
In Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate, Sue Scheff and Melissa Schorr tackle the discussion of digital communication, hate shaming, and online bullying with vivid examples and heartbreaking stories. They emphasize the importance of understanding the limitations of free speech:
Not everything you say or type online is appropriate or allowed.
… Defamation is not condoned as part of free speech. Opinions or satire are one thing, but if you’re presenting something that’s incorrect and damaging to an individual’s reputation as if it’s a statement of fact, it may land you in legal trouble.³
These are lessons we all need to know. Whether it’s a haphazard tweet or a ranting response on a blog post, we need to pause before we post. Spewing negativity with the intent to cause others harm or
creating a virtual mob of hate only fans the flames of wildfire that at any given moment can switch directions and burn right back to the one who struck the match.
What you post online becomes the public’s perception of you. While some might counter their posts with a nonchalant, “I was just kidding around,” the world makes a snap judgment of your worth within mere seconds of an online post. Not only can the world access what you post, it can see what you like and comment on as well, thanks to complex social media algorithms that control what shows up in your feeds. No digital platform is immune to the damaging power of a negative screenshot. Our social media feeds are quickly becoming an autobiographical résumé, which is a lesson our students must hear from multiple people.
My role as a technology integrator and instructional coach with Hanover County Public Schools in Mechanicsville, Virginia, is to support teachers as they use technology in the classroom for instructional purposes. My role also includes providing professional development to teachers, administrators, and other leaders throughout our district in the use of technology for a variety of purposes. I constantly remind children and adults about the importance of negating the naysayers with positivity.
Danny Steele, principal and co-author of Essential Truths for Educators and Essential Truths for Principals with Todd Whitaker (@ToddWhitaker), inspires me daily with his encouraging posts on social media. Whether he’s sharing his experiences as an administrator or describing small moments that bring him joy, I am always uplifted. His perspective on positive posts reflects my beliefs as well:
The educators who are constantly tweeting positivity are not in denial about the very real challenges that educators face. They just
realize that a good attitude gives you the best chance of solving those problems, and they understand that a negative outlook destroys motivation (@SteeleThoughts, June 6, 2018).
It’s true that you won’t get along with everyone you meet, but you can still be kind to unkind people. While it’s hard to build a bridge of trust with someone when the flames of anger burn beneath, try anyway. If you have an issue with a comment or response someone shared, speak to them in private or send a message directly. Don’t rant and rave as a public power play. There’s a thin line between civility with respectable discussions and rude, judgmental responses, both applicable to online and offline behavior.
Find the people in your world who will lift you up and help you soar. Seek out the joy ambassadors and kindness cultivators who remind you that there is good in the world. Develop your own network of positivity and let your light shine! It takes perseverance to show kindness in all situations. It takes courage to stand by those who are being knocked down by others. Embrace the knowledge that we are all works in progress and remember that even one step forward is a step in the right direction. Kindness
Cultivator Spotlight
Akilah Ellison, a middle school administrator with Virginia Beach City Public Schools, understands the importance of creating positive culture in classrooms and schools. Recognizing the fluctuation of morale throughout the school year, she proposed a new program to district leaders that would identify select educators as Joy Ambassadors in each school. The idea was these educators would provide year-round support to increase joy throughout the district.
In 2016, more than 147 teachers across eighty-four schools in the district had designated Joy Ambassadors in their buildings. These teachers attend meetings throughout the year to cultivate kindness, joy, and mindfulness in others. Their focus includes two key areas—student learning environments and teacher well-being.
“Teachers can’t serve from an empty vessel,” Akilah explains. “We tell them that to do the best for every child and for every child to feel valued and loved, it takes a teacher feeling empowered and inspired.”
Using monthly newsletters, Akilah and other Joy Ambassadors provide additional resources to maintain momentum year-round.
Joy Ambassadors share their experiences on social media using the hashtags #JoyAmbassadors and #VBHasJoy, spotlighting the many ways they bring happiness back into their work. From bowling nights and inspirational poster-making to transforming campus spaces into Joy Rooms, they share ideas, celebrate milestones, and actively search for ways to keep joy a focus in all they do. They even host an annual Joy Fair with multiple stations including a photo booth, wellness demonstrations, and Joy Jar creations.
To learn more about Akilah Ellison’s passion for kindness, favorite kindness quotes, and more, visit tamaraletter.com.
Points to Ponder
Are you showing kindness to yourself? What words are you using to describe yourself when you peer into the mirror?
Think about the people in your inner circle: friends, family, coworkers. Are they using words that inspire or tear down? How can you create a cultural shift to emphasize positivity? What are three simple phrases you can say to someone else to brighten their day?
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12. How long is it going to last?
Now truth may be stranger than fiction, but it’s also a whole lot duller. Most of my answers have very evidently bored my audiences to the point of extinction. Yet I hesitate to start weaving the well-known tangled web. I’d be bound to trip in it sooner or later. Last night, in desperation, I drafted a card along the line of Mr. Brown’s. But it lacked wallop, as you can see for yourself.
1. Oh, pretty well.
2. No.
3. A little.
4. Oh, yes.
5. A mile and a half, on the observation hill.
6. Oh, yes.
7. That’s supposed to be a secret.
8. Pretty gay.
9. Yes.
10. All right, so far as I could see.
11. No.
12. I don’t know.
T E
Transcriber’s Notes
Punctuation, hyphenation, and spelling were made consistent when a predominant preference was found in the original book; otherwise they were not changed.
Simple typographical errors were corrected; unbalanced quotation marks were remedied when the change was obvious, and otherwise left unbalanced.
Illustrations in this eBook have been positioned between paragraphs and outside quotations.
***
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