ALEXIS CALDER
Also by Alexis Calder
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
CONTENTS
Thanks for Reading! About the Author
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters and events in this book are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2021 by Alexis Calder All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cover Artwork by Melody Simmons
Academy of Elites: Untamed Magic
Academy of Elites: Broken Magic
Academy of Elites: Fated Magic
Academy of Elites: Unbound Magic
Brimstone Academy: Semester One
Brimstone Academy: Semester Two
Bloodfire Academy: Cursed Magic
Romcom books published under Lexi Calder: In Hate With My Boss
SKYLAR
“You sure you’ll be okay?” I asked again. “Skylar, go. We can handle this,” Elias said.
“I don’t know, if she wants to stay here instead of hanging around all those wolves, I’m not going to stop her,” David said.
“That coming from the guy who spends most of his day with a couple of drooling brutes?” I still wasn’t fond of David’s hellhound friends. I couldn’t argue that they might be helpful as we prepared to take on the vampire queen, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed sharing a small space with them.
I looked around the kitchen. Shelly’s infirmary had been transformed into our war room. She’d closed her shop and warded her home to prevent anyone from coming in.
For the last three days, we’d sat around the table in her kitchen, eating take-out food, and plotting our next steps. I was fully healed and ready to go. I wanted this over with. I wanted the stone back and Clara safe.
Madison was still recovering. Now that she’d had the enchantments removed, she healed like a normal human. We’d been waiting for her to get strong enough for the next steps.
According to Shelly, she was ready.
My stomach twisted into knots. I’d known that as soon as Madison was strong enough to undergo the process of trying to magically recover her memories, I’d have to leave for a night.
It was easier to complete the spells with less people around. And Xander really did need to see his pack. He’d been away long enough while he helped me. I couldn’t keep him from them but I was terrified of meeting them.
Not only was I going to show up as a new pack member, I was coming to them as Xander’s mate. I had no idea what I was walking into. Despite Xander’s reassurance, I was more afraid of meeting his pack than I was of walking into Marcella’s stronghold.
Something was probably wrong with me.
“Skylar, go,” Madison said. “It’s time to get this show on the road. I’ll look after your mates for you.”
I frowned. That was the other piece of this. Now that I had them with me, I didn’t want to be away from them. Bad things seemed to happen when we were apart. I might still be adjusting to having three mates, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I felt better when they were with me.
Shelly walked into the room, carrying a bundle of sage in her arms. She set it on the table. “Skylar, why are you still here?”
I sighed. “I’m going.”
Elias walked over to me, a smile on his lips. He set his warm hand on my upper arm and locked his dark eyes on mine. “I know you’re worried about being away from us, but we’re going to be okay. Jasper and Hadrian will let us know the second anything changes. If we need you, you’ll know.”
I nodded. It did help that a pair from our group was staking out the queen’s palace twenty-four-seven. The hellhounds were there now and would remain until the memory spells were complete or until Xander and I returned from his pack. That was a perk of having them on our side to help.
Elias leaned down and softly pressed his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, memorizing the feel of his lips. I knew it was only a short time apart, but I was still worried.
When he broke the kiss and I opened my eyes, I noticed that David was standing right next to us. “Where’s my kiss?”
I laughed and Elias rolled his eyes.
“I’m never going to get used to having to share my mate with you,” Elias growled.
“You’re just jealous cause I’m her favorite,” David said.
I shook my head. “You know that’s not true.”
He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “I won’t tell if it is.”
I opened my mouth to argue but David quickly silenced me with a kiss. His kiss was intense and hungry. He slid his tongue in as he pulled me against him. It was the kind of kiss that belonged behind closed doors. I didn’t fight it, David had a way of awakening something deep within me that wanted to match pace with him.
When he pulled away, my cheeks heated and the realization of how public we’d made a very intimate moment sunk in. “David,” I scolded him.
“I know,” he said.
“I still don’t understand the whole mating bond thing or why you have three of them, but damnI have to admit, I’m jealous,” Madison said.
“It’s not without complications,” I said.
“I’m sure,” she said.
“Skylar.” Xander walked into the kitchen, making the tiny room feel even more crowded. He had a helmet under each arm and handed one to me. “Let’s go before it gets too late.”
I took the helmet and glanced around the room. “Good luck.”
“You too,” Madison said.
David and Elias both nodded at me in an eerily similar gesture. They might look like opposites, but sometimes their actions reminded me that they were brothers. I’d noticed quite a few things they shared in common the last few days, though I’d never say that out loud to either of them.
There was still a lot of tension there but with our current situation, none of the old drama mattered. We had bigger issues to solve first.
I turned and left the room, feeling a tug of sadness as I did. It was going to be odd being away from David and Elias after three full days together.
Plus, there was a weight of concern in my gut for Madison. We’d gotten to know each other and we became fast friends. She and I had a lot in common. The biggest difference was that she didn’t remember being an assassin for hire. She’d been a human bounty hunter working on MMA stardom prior to her capture. She remembered that life as if it were yesterday, but the past five years were an empty void.
The spell they were going to perform should bring those memories back, but it was risky. It was possible they could end up erasing all her memories or damaging her mind.
I was worried about going to meet Xander’s pack, but Madison was the one taking the real risk.
We sped down the road, the wind whipping around me. I was getting more used to the movement on the motorcycle and I loved having my thighs squeezed around Xander.
If it weren’t for the threat of the queen and all the unfinished business we had, I would be enjoying the ride. The sun was shining, and the air smelled clean. It was a perfect, beautiful spring day. I closed my eyes and inhaled, imagining what life might be like once this was all behind us.
My stomach tightened as Lola came to mind. I lingered on the thought for a minute, still heartbroken that I wouldn’t get to hang out with her again. I squeezed Xander tighter. He likely felt the same pain I did and when we were able to slow down and catch our breath, we could finally process her loss together.
I looked around at the new green leaves on the trees poking through the sea of pine. New life thrived all around us, reminding me that though it all, life goes on.
That was part of why we were heading to see Xander’s pack. Each spring, the entire High Moon Pack gathered for the first full moon after the Equinox. Tonight, was that full moon. Members of his pack would come from miles, sometimes even from across the
country. It was a homecoming of sorts, an event they participated in at each change of the season.
Xander had to be part of it and if we were going under better circumstances, maybe I wouldn’t feel so nervous. Instead, he would have to share the bad news about Lola’s death and the loss of the moon stone.
It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to meet my new pack mates. The idea of being part of a pack still freaked me out as it was. I supposed it could only improve from here, right? There was no way things would get worse than this, right? We had a plan, we were confident we could get back the stone. Next time I saw his pack, we could be celebrating that no more members would have to go into exile to hide the stone. I tried to focus on that thought as we turned into the campground.
It was an isolated, wooded area and Xander had told me the pack reserved the entire site for the weekend. Tonight, they would honor the full moon and every member of the pack would shift and run in the woods.
A chill ran through me. Hundreds of wolves running wild and free. It was something I’d only dreamed of seeing and never imagined I’d experience.
I suppose that was the other thing making me nervous. Fern had said that once Xander and I completed our bond, I would be able to shift.
Tonight, I’d find out if that was true.
It was a few hours before sunset, but some of the shifters were already building fires outside their tents.
Kids ran around, chasing each other, and people were gathered in groups talking or sharing snacks.
We weaved between the trees, passed the campsites slowly. A few people waved to Xander, either recognizing his bike or knowing he was someone from their pack.
Everything seemed so peaceful and relaxed. Everyone we passed was already part of this community. The only group I’d ever belonged to was the Hunter’s Guild and that wasn’t exactly a warm fuzzy kind of group.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think shifters were all that sweet either, but this was starting to change my mind.
Maybe I didn’t need to be so concerned.
Gerald and Fern had welcomed me into their home, no questions asked. They didn’t say I wasn’t good enough for their grandson. What if the rest of the pack was fine with me, just as Xander had said?
By the time he pulled his bike into an empty camping space, I was starting to feel more relaxed.
SKYLAR
I climbed off the bike and took off my helmet. My hair was damp with sweat and was sticking to my face. Quickly, I pulled it up into a bun and let the breeze cool my face and neck.
“Well, this is it,” Xander said. “Home away from home. Just me and you and the stars.”
I glanced around and noticed we were already drawing a crowd. “And a few dozen of your closest friends.”
“There will be a few hundred of us,” he said.
“Even better. Super intimate,” I said. “Besides, it looks like we’ll be sleeping in the dirt so there’s that. Nice and private.”
He laughed. “My grandparents are bringing me some stuff in their truck. We couldn’t exactly go to my place and pack up right now.”
My shoulders slumped. I wasn’t so sure we should even be here right now. The queen had a stone that could control shifters. And here we were, at a gathering of several hundred all in the same place. It seemed far too dangerous. We weren’t even that far from where she lived. She could be here in less than three hours.
Xander walked over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders and started rubbing. “It’s going to be fine. We talked about this. The queen hasn’t used the stone yet so she probably still needs access to it. We have a little time and this event gives us the ability to warn everyone at once.”
Tension melted away at Xander’s touch. I closed my eyes and set one of my hands on his. “Thanks.”
He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “Now, come on. I’ll introduce you.”
When I opened my eyes, I noticed that our crowd had increased. There were a dozen shifters standing around us, seemingly waiting for an invitation. Some of them were trying to look busy, while others were standing not too far from us, watching.
Then a group of males raced froward in a blur, they charged toward Xander and surrounded him, scooping him up in the strangest dog pile of a hug I’d ever seen. They laughed and whooped and slapped each other on the back.
When they stepped back, one of them eyed me up and down, a sly grin on his lips. His long dark hair hung loose around his face and he had a scar down the right side of his face. It started on his forehead, bypassed his eye, and continued to his cheek. Whatever had caused that scar had to be a hell of a story. And he was lucky to still have an eye.
It seemed most supernaturals had scars. Or at least the ones I hung around. I had a knack for making friends who were just as drawn to danger as I was. Whoever this guy was, I liked him instantly.
“So this is why you’ve been away for so long,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Johnny.”
“Skylar,” I said as I accepted his greeting.
“You’re not High Moon Pack, are you?” he asked, his tone more curious than accusatory.
“She is now,” Xander cut in.
“Oh?” Johnny looked at Xander.
“Skylar is my mate,” he said.
“No shit.” Johnny moved closer and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground. I squealed in surprise.
“Welcome to the family,” Johnny said as he set me down.
“Johnny’s my cousin,” Xander explained.
“Yeah, but we’re all family here, anyway. Pack is family. And you’re pack,” Johnny said.
The others crowded in around me and I quickly learned that they were Xander’s closest friends. Aside from Johnny, I met Mateo, Riley, and Will. All four of them had dark hair and dark eyes, but that’s about where the similarities ended.
Johnny was built like Xander. He was tall and strong. Mateo was about my height and lean. He never stopped moving and I got the sense that he was fast. Probably a runner. Riley was shorter, but solid. Will was all around huge. He was nearly as tall as Xander and nearly as wide as both Xander and Johnny together. They were all quick to welcome me, though, and had no shortage of smiles and warmth.
For the next hour, I chatted with Xander’s friends on and off as a never ending supply of shifters stopped by to say hello to their Alpha. Xander was friendly and polite, yet emitted a commanding presence. His pack members seemed to respect him and enjoyed seeing him.
To my surprise, every person I met welcomed me with open arms. I got the sense that some of the pack members were glad their Alpha had finally settled down. Thankfully, I only had to dodge the question about us having kids a couple of times. What was it with older people asking that?
The sound of tires on gravel made me turn away from a conversation with Mateo about boxing. A blue pick-up truck pulled into the spot next to ours and I recognized Gerald in the driver’s seat.
He climbed out of the car and walked over to us, a frown causing deep creases in his face. He looked pissed.
I couldn’t blame him. The last time I saw him, we’d left him with a trio of demons and we’d borrowed his car. Then we totaled his car.
“Neither of you are allowed to touch my truck,” he said.
“I’m so sorry about the car,” I said.
“That car of yours saved our lives, it gave its all for a good cause,” Xander said. “Besides, I already told you we’d get it fixed up.”
“I know you will,” he said. “But I gotta give her a little bit of a hard time, right?”
His frown faded into a smile and he laughed. “I can’t stay mad at my future grand-daughter in law.”
I let out a relieved breath. I liked Gerald and I really did feel terrible about the car.
“But for real, no touching my truck. That car was fast and zippy and beautiful, but it wasn’t my truck.” He grinned.
Xander moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into him. “We swear, we won’t touch your truck.”
“What’s this about giving Skylar a hard time?” Fern asked with her hands on her hips. “You’re not scaring her off, are you?”
“He’s fine,” I assured her. “We did deserve it for what we did to the car.”
“Nonsense,” she said. “If the truck can get you across that finish line of what you’re working on, I’d give you that too. It’s worth it what you’re doing.”
My shoulders slumped. She didn’t know yet that we’d lost the stone. I looked over at Xander. I could feel his emotions churning. He was so happy to be here, so alive at being outdoors around his pack, but there was sadness and anger simmering below it all.
“Might as well get it over with,” Xander said.
“You ready?” I asked.
He nodded. “Hey, Johnny, can you gather everyone? I want to make a few announcements.”
Johnny gave Xander a salute then grabbed Mateo and the two of them jogged away.
“You’ve got bad news,” Gerald said.
“We do,” Xander confirmed. “But it won’t stay bad for long. We’ve already got a solution.”
“Well, you better get over there and spill it, then,” Gerald said. “Sun will be down soon and then it will be time to run.”
My stomach twisted. When the moon rose, I was going to try for my first shift. The last few hours had already felt like so much. Meeting all these people, getting used to being part of a pack, having to come clean about what was going on with the stone. I wasn’t sure I could handle a whole lot more. Though, I suppose, that was about how my life was. I was rarely ready for the new things I tried. I made them up as I went. Sure, I had a ton of scars, but I’d survived all of those things and I was going to survive this too.
I lifted my chin and turned to Xander. “We can do this. We have a plan. It’s not bad news, it’s just a warning. A message about caution until things are fixed.”
Xander smiled. “I’m glad I have you by my side through this.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
ELIAS
I’d gotten used to having Skylar around all the time. It was strange how quickly her presence had settled into me. Now that she was gone, I felt an uncomfortable emptiness.
The sooner we got this spell done and over with, the better. We needed her gone so we could focus and have more space, but I didn’t like her being so far away. Especially with a large group of shifters while the stone was out of our possession.
“Hadrian just checked in,” David said. “No signs of anyone leaving or entering the palace.”
I turned to look at my brother. “Thanks.” He and I hadn’t been working toward the same goal for so long, I almost forgot how well we could work together. When we were younger, we did most things as a team. Aside from the trouble he’d find with his hellhound friends.
“We should get started,” I said.
“House is secure.” Shelly brushed her hands together as if wiping off dirt. “We’re ready.”
I could feel the tension rolling off Madison in waves. She held her chin high and wore a brave face, but I knew she was terrified. I didn’t blame her. We were trying very complicated magic. There was
no telling what the cost would be and no way to predict how she’d respond. Especially since she was human.
Shelly had predicted that it might go easier since human brains were less complex without magic. But none of us had ever done this spell or seen it done.
“Let’s get this over with,” Madison said. “I want to take that bitch down and end this.”
The windows were taped off with fabric, blocking out most of the outside light. Shelly had warded everything and we were all shut in for the next twelve hours at least. If we weren’t through, she’d reapply the ward.
I walked over to the light switch. “Ready?”
The scent of a struck match floated through the air and I caught the flicker of candles out of the corner of my eye. Taking that as a confirmation that I was good to kill the lights, I flipped the switch.
The room went silent as the bright florescent glow was replaced by the soft flicker of dozens of candles.
I glanced around the room, taking in the sight. It was almost peaceful. Several tapers in crystal holders stood on the table. On the counters, there were a variety of tea lights and a few large candles in jars and a couple of tapers in various holders that didn’t match. It was like we’d walked into a second-hand store for candles.
It did the trick though, we had to have firelight to make the spell work. No sunlight was allowed. I took a deep breath and looked around at the windows one more time. We’d sealed everything off well.
“You might as well get comfortable, Madison,” David said. “You might be sitting there for a while.”
“You three better not turn me into a brain-dead zombie,” she said.
“We’re going to do our best,” Shelly said.
“Can’t be any worse than what you were before all this happened,” David said. “It’s not like you were in control of your own life or aware of who you were.”
“That’s not helping,” Madison said. She looked over at me. “I get what Skylar sees in you,” she turned her gaze to David, “but I’m not
sure why she keeps you around.”
“She doesn’t have much of a choice,” David said. “She’s my mate. “She always has a choice,” I said. “And I’m not sure why the bond chose him.”
“Can you two get along well enough to pull this off or do I need to send you away?” Shelly asked. “This is serious. We need this information and Madison deserves us doing our best. She could have run home or run to the queen and sold us out.”
“We’d have killed her if she did,” David said.
“Not the point.” I glared at him. “Shelly is right. You need to focus.”
“I’m focused,” he said. “Are we doing this shit or are we going to talk about it all night?”
I moved in front of Madison and reached my hand out. David took one and Shelly took the other. Then she held David’s other hand, completing a circle around the human.
Madison looked a little green, but I wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light. For a woman who didn’t have any memory of being in the service of supernaturals, she was taking this all very well. She’d had to learn about our existence at the same time as learning about her captivity. It was a lot to take in. Most humans would have buckled under that kind of information.
“Try not to wipe my childhood, will you?” Madison asked. “I actually had a good one.”
“Nobody has a good childhood,” David said. “We just get good at forgetting the shitty times.”
“Well then don’t bring back the shitty times,” she said. “I like my memories. I don’t want to lose them.”
“We’ll do our very best, dear,” Shelly said before turning to David. “Stop being a demon.”
“I am a demon,” he said.
“Yes, but you don’t need to act like it,” she snapped.
“He can’t help it,” I said.
“He’s going to have to help it or he’ll lose his mate,” Shelly said.
“Are you going to tell on me?” David said with a laugh.
“I won’t have to. You fuck this up, she’ll kick you to the curb on her own,” Shelly said.
David growled.
“Enough,” Madison said. “Open your fucking eyes and stop the bickering. You’re like toddlers. Seriously. Stop.”
I looked back at the human. There was a green glow circling her, radiating out from our linked hands. We were already making magic and it wasn’t the kind we needed.
“Focus,” I said.
“You’re lucky Skylar wants you around,” David said.
“I don’t know why she wants either of you around.” Madison shook her head.
She was probably right. We were acting like children. “Memorium momentiumen clomintious.” I started chanting the words, hoping David would join in.
Shelly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. David began to chant. The two of us, speaking in Demonic while Shelly sent her magic to us, amplifying the spell.
I closed my eyes, focusing on the building magic inside me. It rushed through me like a wave, growing larger as I continued speaking, building. The temperature around us grew and sweat beaded on my face. With each chant, the heat rose, and the magic intensified.
I could feel it swirling around us like a storm. We still had a handle on it, but it was pushing back, trying to take over. I clenched my teeth, muttering the words as best I could while holding onto the spell.
David squeezed my hand tighter and I knew he was also struggling. We had to hold on a little longer. We weren’t through yet. I could feel the building, feel the magic working, but it wasn’t enough.
Madison started screaming, but I pushed through. We had to make this work. Our whole plan was built around her being able to get us into the palace. If we couldn’t bring back her memories, it would be too risky to send her in. We had to succeed.
Shelly muttered something, and I felt a rush of cool air swirl around the room. It was a momentary reprieve and I sucked in a breath before returning to the spell.
The heat returned, but the magic felt more stable. Madison wasn’t screaming anymore. I risked opening my eyes and saw that she was slumped in the chair, her eyes closed, her chest barely rising.
“We’re losing her,” I said.
“We’re almost there,” David said. “Finish.”
I called on everything I had, all my magic, guiding it through me, pushing it outward with a yell. David was screaming next to me.
A burst of blue light filled the air then all the candles roared, their flames reaching the ceiling before they suddenly snuffed out.
David and Shelly both released my hands. I took deep breaths, panting from the effort. The room was full of smoke curling up from the spent candles. We were in darkness and I had no idea if the spell worked.
Shelly stepped forward and in the dim light, I watched her press her fingers to the unconscious woman’s neck. She looked up at us. “She’s alive.”
My shoulders eased in relief.
“Well, that’s step one,” David said. “The real test will come when she wakes.”
“Help me get her into the guest room,” Shelly said.
I stepped forward and scooped up the unconscious woman. She was burning up, her body temperature much higher than a human should be. A layer of sweat clung to her face.
“We need to cool her down,” I said.
Shelly felt Madison’s forehead then she walked toward the freezer and pulled out an ice pack. I took it from her and pressed it on the woman’s forehead as I carried her up the stairs.
She was alive for now, but we needed her to survive the fever and wake. Then we could find out if her memory was restored or if we’d fully stolen it from her.
We needed this to work. It had to. We didn’t have another plan.
SKYLAR
Two hundred faces stared at me and my heart thundered in anticipation. I knew this was part of it. I knew Xander was going to share that he’d found his mate, but it was still overwhelming.
The crowd was buzzing with energy, unfazed by the cold wind and darkening sky. In fact, the shifter magic all around us was growing more electric with each passing moment. It was a full moon, which amplified shifter magic, making everything a lot more intense than it would be on any other day.
Xander leaned over to me. “You ready?”
We were surrounded by his pack and it was time to share the news. The good, and the bad. I nodded.
Xander lifted his hand and the crowd quieted almost instantly. A shudder seemed to roll through the magic, slowing the vibration to a simmer. It was an odd sensation, that many shifters all gathered at once, all sharing a similar feeling and emotion. The sense of anticipation and excitement was palpable. They were ready to run.
“Welcome, family.” Xander spread his arms wide. “That’s what we are. A family. A pack that looks out for our own.”
Mummers of agreement sounded from the gathered shifters.
“Each season, we meet to reconnect and revel in each other’s company. We take these days to slow down and appreciate the
blessings in our lives. And this year is no different.”
A few whoops and cheers rose from the crowd. Xander smiled and waited a moment for them to settle. “We will continue to celebrate all that we are grateful for, but we must also share our burdens that aren’t good news.”
It felt like the whole group had inhaled a collective breath. A bird called, and the wind rustled the trees, but otherwise, nobody spoke.
“I’m afraid I must share bad news and a dire warning on this otherwise joyous occasion,” he continued. “Lola, my dear sister, has met the final death.”
A series of gasps, and muttered words of disbelief replaced the silence. A lump rose in my throat and I looked down, away from the members of the pack. I could feel their grief, heavy and fierce. They were just as heartbroken and angry as I was. Nearby, someone was crying.
“I’m afraid it gets worse,” he said. “She was murdered and it’s been tied to the vampire queen.”
Shouts rang out and a few pack members pushed their way forward. “It’s war, then.”
“Wait,” Xander yelled. His voice was commanding and I could feel the magic in his words. He’d called on something that sent the whole pack a step back, everyone closing their mouths to listen. I’d never seen him in his element, a true alpha. It sent a rush of adrenaline through me and there was a part of me that wanted to tear his clothes off right now.
“The queen has the moon stone. We can’t act on this until we retrieve it. It’s too dangerous. We don’t think she’s learned how to use it yet, but left to her own devices, it’s a matter of time.”
“That makes it even more pressing,” a male nearby said.
“We will get the stone back and once it’s in our possession, we will take care of the queen,” Xander said.
His words sent a shiver down my spine. Soon, we would set all this right.
“But we cannot grieve tonight. The spring moon is for rebirth, new life, hope. Lola wouldn’t want us to give up our rituals. She’d want us to persevere.” Xander reached his hand toward me. I moved
closer and took hold. He lifted our joined hands. “Tonight, we welcome Lola’s best friend, and my mate, to our pack.”
Cheers erupted and my cheeks heated. There was a lot of attention on me and I forced a smile. All around, I could feel hope and happiness. The pack was thrilled. But they didn’t know what I was. Would they care when they found out? What if I couldn’t shift at moon rise? Would they embrace their alpha’s new mate then?
“The moon will soon rise.” Xander called. “Tonight we run. Tomorrow we prepare to fight.”
The noise escalated. Yells and whoops and howls filled the air. It was a jubilant and contagious sort of energy sizzling around us. I smiled, for real this time, being pulled in. The fear I’d had moments ago cleared and I wanted to jump right into the chaos and join the din.
Xander pulled me closer, wrapping his arm around my waist. He leaned in. “How about we find some place quiet where we can settle in while we wait?”
“I’d like that,” I said.
The pack was dissipating and I noticed a few were already stripping their clothes as they prepared for the coming shift. I swallowed hard. Another thing I was going to have to learn to deal with. While being around naked shifters wasn’t exactly surprising, joining in was. I’d never been without clothes around someone I wasn’t prepared to get intimate with. And even that was often done in the dark to prevent me having to show my scars.
“Don’t worry.” Xander squeezed my hand. “The first shift is the hardest. It gets easier every time until you don’t even think about it anymore.”
“I don’t have to line up in my birthday suit, do I?” I asked. He laughed. “Not unless you want to.”
I knew there was a kick-off and that one of the elders would signal when the moon was considered full enough to start the ritual. The shifters would line up and shift together. There were going to be a lot of witnesses if I didn’t shift like the rest of them.
When Xander had explained this to me and invited me to attend, I’d almost said no. It was terrifying enough to experience my first
shift in private, but adding in the extra layers of being the alpha’s mate and the eyes on me made it even worse.
“If you leave your clothes on, they’ll tear as you shift.” He stopped walking and turned so I was facing him. “My grandpa is going to call the moon when it’s time. You and I will wait until the others have shifted and started running. Then you can shift if you’re ready.”
I bit down on the inside of my lip. How did I get so lucky with him? I wanted to shift. It was the one thing I always wanted. But now that it was here, it seemed like a burden I wasn’t sure I could take on.
Mostly, it was the unknown. In theory, I should be able to shift. But if I didn’t, what did that mean for Xander and me? What if I didn’t shift and he decided he wasn’t my mate?
My pulse raced as fear made my chest tighten. It wasn’t about becoming a wolf, it was about Xander. I didn’t want to lose him. I couldn’t lose him. Fern had said that once we completed our bond, I’d shift.
What if she was wrong?
“Whatever happens, I’m on your side,” Xander said, as if he could read my mind.
“Thank you.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Now, walk me through the process one more time.”
“You’re fine, Skylar. You can do this. You’ll feel it, trust me.” He squeezed my shoulder. His tone was so confident that I almost believed him. I wondered how young wolves felt before their first shift. For them, it was expected but not guaranteed when exactly it would happen. There was anticipation, but not expectation around a certain full moon.
A few shifters walked toward us and started a conversation with Xander. I spent the next half hour smiling and nodding along with conversations as various well-wishers came to greet us. They congratulated us, asked about my previous pack, and were generally polite when Xander told them I’d been unaffiliated.
I didn’t catch most of the specifics, though. I was far too distracted. The heavy sense of dread in my gut mixed with
adrenaline. It was an odd cocktail that made me feel unsettled. I wanted to run away and hide all at the same time. I wondered if it was comparable to something like stage fright. I’d never had to deal with public speaking, but it was the only thing I could compare it to. I was about to attempt my first shift in a very public way.
A horn sounded in the distance and the shifters around us straightened. Everyone was suddenly alert and I could feel the excitement in the air.
“It’s time,” someone said. “Welcome again, Skylar.”
I smiled, wishing I was better at remembering names. “Thank you.”
The shifters around us walked away, some of them stripping their clothes as they did. Xander grabbed my hand again. “You’re going to love this. Trust me.”
I sure hoped I did but if for some reason I didn’t shift, I hoped I’d still have Xander as my mate by the end of the night.
ELIAS
The last place I wanted to be was stuck inside a small townhouse with David. There was far too much bad blood between us. While I’d been regent, he’d undermined me at every step, determined to bring me down. My father didn’t hide that he’d rather see David on the throne and sometimes it got to my brother’s head.
He had a dark streak. Thriving on the backroom deals and shady activities he was asked to do for our father. David might not have wanted me on the throne, but I didn’t think he wanted it for himself. He liked his freedom too much.
A candle flickered and I looked up to see Shelly walking into the room. I stood, rising from her well-worn couch. Her living room was like a shrine to a stereotypical mage. Stuffed crows sat on shelves next to bottles and jars holding who knew what. On the rickety side table, there was a stack of leather-bound books and a few glass instruments. Herbs hung from strands along the wall and half burned incense was scattered around the room.
Despite the overtly mage nature of her home, it was cozy and welcoming. Shelly had taken us in even though we put her at risk.
“No need to stand.” She sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her.
I returned to my seat. “How is she?”
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Welch bishop for his subscription. It was a great deal from such a dignitary. May the great Bishop of souls bless and strengthen him in soul and body ever more. As I expect to hear from my wife on Monday, and as I have nothing particular, I shall defer writing again till Monday evening. In the mean while, be so kind as to give my hearty love and due respects to her and all, and accept the same yourselves from, my very dear friends,
Yours, &c. &c. in a never-failing J ,
LETTER MCCLXI.
To Mr S―― S――.
IBristol, April 18, 1762.
My very dear Friend,
WAS quite sorry that I could not take a parting dinner with you. Mr. Z――n begged me to come just at that time to converse with me about the suffering protestants, and in the evening I read letters. Blessed be G , I was not the worse for it. Since my coming here, my health hath improved. The last week I was enabled to preach five times. This morning I have been administering the ordinance; and this evening I hope to be upon my throne again. Our L vouchsafes to smile upon my feeble labours, and the people seem to feel a refreshing from his divine presence. Who knows but I may yet be restored so far as to sound the gospel trumpet for my G ? The quietness I enjoy here, with daily riding out, seems to be one very proper means. Be this as it will, I know ere long I shall serve our L without weariness. A few more blows from friends, and from foes, and the pitcher will be broken. Then the wicked one will cease from troubling, and the weary traveller arrive at his wish’d-for rest. G grant you and yours very large refreshments in the way! Be pleased to accept of this as a token that you are not forgotten by, my very dear friend,
Yours, &c. under ten thousand obligations, and in the best bonds,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXII.
To Mr. D――.
Bristol, April 29, 1762.
My very dear Mr. D――,
HOW have I been contriving to come over in one of the mast ships lately sailed for New-England? But the hour is not yet come. Hasten it, O glorious Emmanuel, for thy great name’s sake! Surely a sea voyage would help to brace up this relaxed tabernacle. Blessed be G , I am now enabled to preach four or five times a week; but it is with much weakness. I long to hear how it is with you in this Spanish war Mr Robinson I find was cast away, but hath escaped with his life. Just now I have seen a letter to Mrs. P――e from Mr. H――s, by which I find he is at Bethesda, and talks of returning to England I hope the Spanish war will prevent this last motion, at least for some time. My love to him and all. Persevere in praying me over. I have just now heard, that there is a packet for me at London from Georgia. How could you draw on me for so large a sum as an hundred and forty-seven pounds? L , help me! Yesterday at Kingswood I saw the ship that is to bring this, ready to sail. I hope I am not too late; and if any letters come from any of you by this post (as I hear the Carolina ships are arrived), G willing, they shall be answered by, my very dear Mr D――,
Yours, &c. in our common L ,
G. W
Dear Mrs. W――,
ILETTER MCCLXIII.
To Mrs. W――.
Bristol, May 4, 1762.
THANK you heartily for your kind letter, and desire to bless the L of all lords for the good news it contains. If the foot of pride doth not come against those that speak for J , all will be well. I see it is always darkest before break of day. O that we could always remember that blessed promise, “At evening-tide it shall be light.” The archers have of late shot sorely at me and grieved me. Job’s friends were his greatest trials, when G ’s hand pressed his body sore. So it hath been with me. But if we are brought out when tried like gold, we shall only lose our dross. O that this may be my happy case! L , I believe; help thou my unbelief! Blessed be his name for a little revival in my bondage! For these three weeks past, I have been enabled to preach four or five times. Not once without a special blessing. Join with me in crying, Grace, grace! But my body still continues weak. O blessed prospect of its being glorified by and by! Come, L J , come quickly! Continue to pray for me. Remember me most heartily to all, as being, dear Mrs. W――,
Their and your most ready servant for C ’s sake, G. W.
LETTER MCCLXIX.
To Mr. D――.
Sunderland, September 19, 1762.
IMy dear Mr. D――,
CAN only send you a few lines: but I hope they will be acceptable ones. Your last packet came to my hands yesterday. Blessed be G that all is so well! You will be glad to hear, that I can preach once a day, and that I have now a prospect of embarking soon. We expect peace, and I hope the places in London will be provided for. Pray keep the family as small as you can. Sickness lowers my circumstances. But J is all in all. I hope to see dear Mr S――k’s friends in a few days. I am glad he is at Ephrata Tender love to him and his, to dear Mrs. C――, Mrs. P――l, and to all. I can no more. I write this at a venture, to send by way of Scotland, where the Redeemer hath been owning my feeble labours. Grace! grace! When I
G. W.
come to London, G willing, you shall hear again from, my very dear friends,
Yours, &c. &c. in our common L ,
W
LETTER MCCLXX.
To Mr R―― K――n.
Leeds, September 25, 1762.
Dear Sir,
WHAT a pity that I cannot answer your kind letter, by telling you where to meet me! but it is impracticable. I am just now setting forwards towards London, but fear I cannot reach it before Sunday. My chaise wanted repairing here. O how good hath J been to a worthless worm! Once a day preaching, I can bear well; more hurts me. What shall I do with the chapel and tabernacle? L J , be thou my guide and helper! He will! he will. Send word to tabernacle that you heard from me. We have had sweet seasons. Grace! grace! To his never-failing mercy do I commend your whole dear self, and all that are so kind as to enquire after, my very dear friend,
Yours, &c. in our common L ,
LETTER MCCLXXI.
To Mrs. C――.
London, October 15, 1762.
G.
G. W.
Dear Mrs. C――,
IWISH to answer your last in person. I hope the time is now drawing near I count the weeks, and days, and hours. L J , direct my goings in thy way. Blessed be G that you live in such harmony! A house thus united in J , will stand. I shall bring only one Mr. W――t, who takes care of me. I would not have Mr. H――s to think of stirring till he sees me. This I write in great haste. I am enabled to preach once a day. Give thanks! give thanks! and continue to pray for, dear Mrs. C――,
Yours, &c. in our glorious Emmanuel,
G. W
LETTER MCCLXXII.
To Mr A―― K――.
Bristol, Numbers 29, 1762.
GOD willing, I shall set off for Plymouth to-morrow morning, and hope to see you all on Thursday evening, or Friday. Let grand preparations be made; as a candle, a book, and a table. Above all, much prayer, that I may not again relapse at Plymouth; as Bristol people do threaten me for coming at this time of the year. Blessed be G , we have good seasons. I like Mr B――n’s, better than a boarding school for little maidens. A word to the wise is enough. Adieu! The L be with you all. Cease not to pray for, my dear Timothy,
Yours, &c. in our common L ,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXIII.
To Mr. S―― S――.
Plymouth, December 4, 1762.
HOW was I disappointed, two Mondays, of seeing and conversing with my very dear Mr S――! London, London, how dost thou weigh this mortal body down! If it be no odds, I would visit my dear friend again on a Wednesday Perhaps on that day I may not be so fatigued. I feel in preaching, what you do in business. However, I must not complain. Once a day, I can manage quite well. Bristol was a refreshing place indeed. Congregations were very large, and a most gracious gale of divine influences attended the word preached. Being under a positive promise to come here before I left England, I embraced this opportunity. Through mercy, I preached last night, and find no hurt this morning. Many young people, I hear, are under great awakenings. May such hostilities never cease! O to begin to begin to wage an eternal war with the devil, the world, and the flesh. Still continue to help me, dear Sir, with your prayers. I would fain die sword in hand. You will not blame me for this ambition. I believe you are pretty much tinctured this way yourself. The Captain of our salvation approves of it. That in all your spiritual battles, He may be your shield and exceeding great reward, is the hearty prayer of, my invaluable friend,
Yours, &c. &c. in the best bonds,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXIV.
To Mrs. Elizabeth W――d.
Plymouth, December 5, 1762.
YOU did very wrong, in not letting me know of your mother’s necessities. She was a widow indeed. But now she is above the reach of every thing. O for patience to wait till we are sent for to that place, where the weary are at rest! I am weary of the world, of the church, and of myself. But J will not leave us in the latter stages of our road. Blessed be his
name, we have had pleasant seasons at Bristol, and two good gales here. I cannot get up to London till near Christmas-day. As affairs are circumstanced, every thing there tends to weigh me down. O that patience may have its perfect work! Let me always know your wants. It is your own fault if you lack any thing, whilst I have a farthing. You and your friend must prepare a great entertainment; for I intend dining with you when I come to town. Ere long we shall sit down and eat bread in our heavenly Father’s kingdom. Come, L J , come quickly! I know who joins in saying, Amen! with, my dear old faithful friend and servant,
Yours, &c. for C ’s sake,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXV.
My dear steady Friend,
To Mr. R―― K――n.
Plymouth, December 5, 1762.
IMUST not be out of town, without sending my dear Mr. K――n a few loving lines. Blessed be G for a few steady friends! they are rarities even in the church of G . But the church is in a wilderness; ere long it will be in Canaan No briars or thorns there. All glory be to Him who hath prepared such a rest for the purchase of his blood. Amen. Hallelujah! You will be glad to hear, that both here and at Bristol, souls are under real awakenings. Though I preach in much weakness, an infinitely condescending J vouchsafes to come down in glorious gales of his blessed Spirit. This is all in all. But these are only streams. Ere long we shall drink at the fountain head. Do you not long to leap your seventy years? Blessed be G , we are nearer and nearer. Fly, fly, O time! welcome, welcome long wished for eternity! But I must not enlarge. We are going to the L ’s table. Adieu! Hearty love awaits your whole self. In heaven I will thank you for all favours conferred upon, my dear friend,
Yours in the Friend of sinners,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXVI.
To Mr. A―― K――.
Bristol, December 12, 1762.
THROUGH divine mercy, we got here yesterday about three in the afternoon, all well, excepting that I lost my watch in the way If it teacheth me to be more on my watch in the best things, it will be rather a gain. L , help me in every thing to give thanks! I do not repent my Plymouth journey. Thanks to all for their great kindnesses. Thanks, eternal thanks to the G of all, for giving us his presence! It is better than life. I have not yet seen your daughter, but I hear she is well. Tell Sarah not to murder so dear a child. Hugging to death is cruelty indeed. You will take the hint about my little servitor. I charge you both, as you will answer it at the bar of G , to teach them to be servant like, but not servile. Adieu! I must away to sacrament. O for such a one as we had last Sunday! I felt, I felt parting! O for the time when we shall part no more! Tender love to Mr. S――, his mother, brother, Mr. D――, and all; your servants not excepted. Sarah, adieu! Mind and get up in a morning to pray, before you get into shop. I make no apology for this, because you are a friend to, my dear man,
Yours, &c. in our common L ,
G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXVII.
To Mr. R―― K――n.
Thursday evening. January 15, 1763.
My dear Friend,
DO meet me to-morrow by two o’clock, or rather one, at Mr B――n’s, at Cannonbury-house. I have something of importance to communicate. Not to keep you in suspense, it is to beseech you, jointly with Mr. H――y and Mr. B――n, as trustees, to take upon you the whole care, both inward and outward, of the affairs of Tottenham-court chapel and tabernacle, and all other my concerns in England: this one thing being settled, I have nothing to retard my visit to America, to which I think there is a manifest call at this time, both as to the bracing up my poor feeble crazy body, and adjusting all things relating to Bethesda. O that the L may incline your heart to accept this trust! It will take off this ponderous load that oppresses me much. Consider, dear Sir, it is for G ! for whose glory, I am convinced that you and my other dear friends have a single eye and disinterested heart. O may he richly reward you for this and all your labours of love! Fail not of meeting me at the time and place above-mentioned Mr H――y and Mr H―― D――s, G willing, will be there. The L J be with us all! My dear friend,
Yours, &c. &c. indeed and indeed, in J ,
LETTER MCCLXXVIII.
To Mr. R―― K――n. Leeds, March 6, 1763.
My very dear Friend,
YOU have heard, I suppose, of my progress to, and employ at Everton J was there. Last Thursday evening we came to these parts, where I have preached twice, and been closely employed in writing my little piece entitled, Observations, &c. in answer to the Bishop of Gloucester. Perhaps a day or two more may compleat it. Say nothing, but pray on. The next letters may be directed to Edinburgh, under cover to ―― H――n,
Esq.; Post-Master general. You shall hear, G willing, when I have fixed upon a ship. And I know you will pray that J may be my convoy.
Only Thou our leader be,
And we still will follow Thee.
I could enlarge, but must away to my throne. Tell all at Tabernacle and Chapel, where this leaves me. I send them and your whole self most tender love, and ten thousand thanks; and beg you would add to my obligations by praying for, my very dear friend,
Yours, &c. &c. in our common L ,
P , To Mr. J――e.
My dear Sir,
ACCEPT a few lines from an old friend that loves you and yours dearly. I would not be given to change, but, like my Master, love to the end. His blessing be on you both! Accept thanks unfeigned for all favours, and cease not to pray for, my very dear Mr J――,
Yours, &c. in Ours,
Dear Mrs. M――,
To Mrs. M――.
Newcastle, March 13, 1763.
G. W.
G. W.
IT hath given me concern, since I left town, that through bodily weakness, multiplicity of business, and pain of parting, I forgot to answer your request about your deceased son. If not too late, something like this may be inserted:
“Near this place lies interred, William Middleditch, aged twelve years, a desirable promising child; but an all-wise G thought proper to remove him ――, 1762. His surviving parents desire to subscribe to the divine will, and to say, The L gave, and the L hath taken away: blessed be the name of the L .”
Ere long somebody will be writing an epitaph for our tombs. Change of place doth not change my sentiments. “Come, L J , come quickly,” is the constant language of my heart. This leaves me thus far advanced towards Scotland, where just such a ship as I want awaits me. How good is J ! Fain would I sing,
L , obediently I go, Gladly leaving all below
I am sorry to find by the papers that Mr B―― is taken up. To take no notice would be the best method. A prison or outward punishment is but a poor cure for enthusiasm, or a disordered understanding. It may increase but not extinguish such an ignis fatuus. L J , give us all a right judgment in all things! Farewell. Brethren, pray for us. We have had pleasant seasons at Everton, Leeds, Aberford, Kippax, and here. Tender love to all that are so kind as to enquire after a worthless worm. That you may be so supplied as not to miss me one moment, is the earnest prayer of, dear Mrs. M――,
Your sincere friend and ready servant in our common L , G. W.
LETTER MCCLXXX.
To Mr. S――.
Newcastle, March 13, 1763.
IMy very dear Friend,
CANNOT go further, without dropping you a few lines. They leave me thus far advanced in my journey to Scotland. My friends write me word, that the ship Jenny, Captain Orr, a very discreet person, sails from Greenock to Boston the middle of April. You will pray, that the G of the sea and dry land will give me a safe, and, if agreeable to his will, a speedy passage. On the road we have been favoured with some sweet seasons. I have preached at Everton, Leeds, Kippax, Aberford, and this place. Next sabbath I hope to be at Edinburgh On my way, I was enabled to finish a little thing in answer to the present Bishop of Gloucester. If my friends think proper to print it, you will find a parting testimony left behind me for the good old Puritans and free-grace Dissenters, whom he sadly maligns. Bless it, glorious Emmanuel, and it shall be blessed! Follow me, follow me, my very dear Sir, with your constant prayers. Mine will always be ascending for you and yours. Indeed I owe you much love! You have often strengthened my hands in the L . Fain would I sing,
L , obediently I go,
Gladly leaving all below;
Only Thou my leader be, And I still will follow Thee
And now, my dear friend, farewell. Ere long we shall meet in a better climate, where
Pain and sin and sorrow cease, And all is calm and joy and peace.
Most cordial respects await dear Mrs. S―― and your daughter, if continued in this dying world. Expect to hear, from time to time, from, my very dear Sir,
Yours, &c. &c.
