“Creating an environment where rainbow folk can hang out and not feel alone may encourage kōrero about being queer and the intersects that may come with it, might make the transition into being openly queer easier.” Internet, connecting gays since the ‘90s. Most queer people could frequent mainstream bars and clubs but they may feel uncomfortable having to “pass” for heterosexual and cisgender to avoid the ire of fellow patrons. They may feel excluded by heteronormative assumptions or feel they can’t dance/talk/act/interact with others as they would if in a club like Family or Ivy. Straight people are welcome at rainbow venues, there’s no litmus test for queerness at the door; you just get asked for your ID like every other half-hammered person in line. However, there is allegedly a trend of straight cisgender men going to gay clubs seeking the women that attend the club. Alex*, a postgrad student, said that they’ve had straight male friends talk about how they go to Family Bar to pick up women. ‘It’s like they think that because 80 per cent of the club patrons are men who aren’t into women, they will be able to approach girls without being predatory—it’s super fucked up—people go there to hook up, sure, but don’t try to lull your prey into a fake sense of safety from being hit on or ogled. You shouldn’t need to con someone into being receptive to your advances; either they’re into it or they’re not’.
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While it may seem like a misnomer to call a nonstraight venue a “gay” bar, there is a malignant culture of spaces being touted as queer-friendly but being dominated by white, gay men which alienates trans* patrons, people of colour and those not looking to hook up. Jay*, a straight transman, told Nexus that while attending another university, he stopped going to gay clubs, and even the queer space allocated on his campus because he felt pressured by the hook-up culture in the gay scene. ‘I’m a trans dude, I’m with a woman, so I guess that makes me straight. At the start, before I had top surgery [bilateral mastectomy and male chest reconstruction] and still had my dead name on my ID, gay clubs were really the only place I felt that the bouncer wouldn’t ask me super personal questions in line, and people wouldn’t give me funny looks. ‘As it turns out, there’s loads of cisnormativity in the gay community and lots of emphasis placed on masculinity, whereas femininity is still viewed as weak and unattractive—there’s a total pecking order—then, there’s race. I have friends who are gay Asian men who feel discriminated against. Some dudes on Grindr have reduced it down to “yellow fever” and “no rice”. It’s