Page 1

Engagements page 3

Kerbs and Best Jones and Herrell

Weddings page 4

Mowry and Tollerton

Ring styles page 5

Natalie Eberhard: photographer page 5

Choosing a venue page 8

The inner life of ... page 2

Photo by Natalie Eberhard

2 • SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017



The inner life of ...

By Johannes Brann

While everyone knows males and females are not basically the same, many fail to appreciate how these differences are not just a matter of parts and plumbing but rather it is they are wired to think and act very differently. Based on the bestselling books, “For Men Only” by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn (© 2006, Multnomah) and “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn (© 2004, Multnomah) here are some distinctive features of males and females.

A. Women need to feel loved Even in a great relationship, the female likely has an insecurity about your love and when this is triggered, she may respond in ways which confuse or dismay you until she feels reassured. This is why a wise husband needs to express affection for his wife in words and deeds every day. Men who fire back, “But I said ‘I do’ and I’m supporting my family,” forget that men who violate their vows had also said “I do” and were supporting the family as they committed adultery. It is important to find little ways – words, hugs, kisses, flowers, cards, notes, et-cetera – regularly to send the message of “I love you and would marry you all over again.” B. Women are emotional Women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time, call them pop-ups. Men are not this way and neither realize this nor understand what this is like. This factor shapes the thinking of most women, much of the time. These pop-ups cannot be turned off or easily ignored but are best dealt with. The two things a male should not do is provide solutions or tell her to ignore or get over it. Instead, acknowledge the concern and listen, while paying close attention. Helping her to verbalize her concerns is itself, a big help. Again, males are not this way and must not belittle their spouse rather, the wise mate will support and encourage his wife and so gain her trust, proving he is her best friend and closest confidant. C. Women want security, meaning emotional security A woman needs emotional security and closeness with the male so much she will endure financial insecurity to obtain emotional security. This goes back to the women needing frequent reassurance of the man’s love and continued desire for his mate. D. Women long for intimacy Women want and need a lot of intimacy, which comes in a variety of forms such as conversations which share feelings, holding hands, making eyes at each other, telling each other what you appreciate about the other, and all manner of pleasant little surprises. For women, intimate relations is desert, it comes after a full meal of affection expressed over time, while, for men, intimate relations is the meal. A wise husband will provide what the wife needs and vice versa with both being patient, talking this out with the other. E. She doesn’t want you to fix it; she wants you to listen When she is sharing an emotional problem (as opposed to “the tire is flat”), her feelings and her desire to be heard are much more important than the problem itself. By helping the woman share her feelings, the problem will shrink in size and she will likely come up with a solution herself or will ask for and be receptive to help. F. Being physically attractive to the man in her life is important Inside your smart secure wife lives a little girl who deeply needs to know you find her beautiful and only have eyes for her. Compliment her appearance often and be specific in what you say. Frequent compliments provide emotional security and come back to the male in the form of increased affection.

A. Men need respect In survey after survey, when men and women are asked, “Which is more important to you: to be loved or respected?” men consistently choose respect while women choose love. Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. B. Men are insecure Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure; they feel their inadequacies will be discovered. A wife must not compare her husband with other males in any negative fashion. Over time, she will learn where he is most sensitive and, as the saying goes, she must not go there. C. Men are providers Even if the woman earned enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to be the main provider. Oh yes, there are too many males who simply want to sponge off their mate but most males worth their while come with super sized egos and providing for the family is one part of this. The woman should have her career but she should give great respect (see item A) to the male as the family’s provider. D. For men, love, respect and self-worth come together in intimate relations For most men, intimacy, love and affection, along with respect, identity and self-worth are all wrapped up both in giving to his wife and receiving from her, in intimate relations. In a sense, intimate relations are to men what affection and conversation are to women; both need these fairly regularly. It is important for husband and wife to speak to each about this and find a balance in frequency and in what is said and done. E. Men are visual In males, the visual sense clearly dominates while females do not have a dominant sense. This is why even happily married men struggle with being pulled towards live and recollected images of other women. Yet knowing this is not an excuse for flirting with other women or the use of pornography. Instead, this is a wake-up call to men to be vigilant and faithful in thoughts as well as deeds. F. Men have trouble being romantic Most men enjoy romance and want to be romantic but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed. Women can support and encourage the male to be more romantic by saying positive things when he makes the effort and giving little hints as to what she would like. Yes, marriage is different than dating and yet the romance must never stop. A relationship is a living thing which must be fed and romance does just that through words and deeds. G. Men care about appearance The female does not need to have a perfect figure but the man does need to see the woman making an effort to take care of herself, and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support this. Again, because men are so visual, a husband wants a wife to whom he is physically attracted and publicly proud to be with.



SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017 • 3

Engagements Mary Katherine Kerbs and Lyle Best Larry and Nancy Kerbs, of Nevada, are proud to announce the engagement of their daughter, Mary Katherine Kerbs, of Columbia, Mo., to Lyle Best, Chamois, Mo. Lyle is the son of the late Kay Best and Richard and Judy Best, of Marshall, Mo. Mary has an associate’s degree from Cottey College and a bachelor’s degree from William Jewell College and will graduate in May 2017 with a Juris Doctor from the University of Missouri School of Law. She is currently employed as a law clerk in Columbia, Mo. Lyle has a bachelor’s degree from Drury University and a Master’s and Specialist in Education Administration from William Woods. He is currently employed as Superintendent of Osage County R-1 Schools. The wedding will take place on June 3, 2017, at St. Paul Lutheran Church, Nevada.

Shannon Jones and Jacob Herrell Ron and Jennifer Jones, of Nevada, are proud to announce the engagement of their daughter, Shannon Jones, to Jacob Herrell. Jacob is the son of Jim and Thomi Herrel, of Butler, and Bruce and Jennifer Rhoades, of Kansas City, Mo. Shannon has a BBA in Management from Pittsburg State University and is currently working for Hoffman Financial Resources in Nevada. Jacob has a BA in construction management from Pittsburg State University and is currently working for Turner Construction in Kansas City. The wedding will be held on Sept. 16, 2017, at 5 p.m., at 3 Cedars Event Center in Nevada.

4 • SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017




Whitney Lyn Mowry and William James Tollerton

Whitney Lyn Mowry and William James Tollerton were married April 23, 2016, at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Nevada. Father Matthew Benjamin was the Celebrant and Peggy Graves was the Organist. Floral arrangements on the altar were made of star gazer lilies and white orchids, white sheer fabric scarf draped above the altar of the church, candles surrounded with small floral arrangements were placed in each window of the church. The Maid of Honor was Rachael Jones, cousin of the bride. The Best Man was Jason Hull, friend of the groom. Attendants were Hannah Volkland, cousin of the bride; Molly Volkland, cousin of the bride; and Jody Pope, friend of the bride. Groomsmen were Nathan Roberts, friend of the groom; Thomas Plummer, friend of the groom; Dennis Mowry, brother of the bride. They also served as ushers. The reception was located at the Elks Lodge in Nevada. The couple honeymooned at Prince Edward Island, Canada. The bride’s parents are Brad and Cecelia Mowry. The groom’s parents are Jim and Deborah Tollerton.



By Ralph Pokorny If you have not booked a photographer for your June wedding, you may have trouble getting the one you want on the date you want. Prospective brides need to think well ahead and book a photographer at least six months, and preferably 12 months, before the wedding, Natalie, Eberhard, Natalie Eberhard Photography said. “To get the date they want, to get the photographer they want, that’s the best way to go,” Natalie Eberhard said. When you do decide on a photographer, you first want to talk to them and find out their qualifications to photograph the wedding. Eberhard said when trying to decide on a photographer, one of the first things you need to learn, is the person a member of the Professional Photographer’s of America? What education does this person have in photography? Did he go to school to learn about photography? “If they went to school to learn photography, they will know how to handle difficult and different lighting conditions,” she said. How long will it take to get the photographs back and will they be edited images? How many images will be included? “A professional would know all these things,” she said. Eberhard said that if outdoor photographs are wanted, the time of day for the wedding should be considered if possible. “The timing really makes a difference. I like to take photographs during the golden hour. So if they can plan to be married a couple of hours before sunset we can get some really good couples photos outdoors before the reception,” she said. The golden hour is that period of time just before sunset, when the daylight is redder and softer than when the sun is higher in the sky. If the photographs have to be taken earlier in the day, when the sun is higher in the sky and much brighter, the photographs will usually be better if they are done in the shade, or at least have the couple under a canopy, she said. Eberhard said she always asks the bride how long they are going want a photographer. “I try to find out if they want a story of the whole day, getting ready, then the ceremony, and then the reception,” Eberhard said. Another issue that comes into play is whether the couple is planning on a traditional ceremony where the couple does not see each other before the ceremony, or are having a non-traditional ceremony. She said they can set up some photographs where the bride and groom are on opposite sides of a door and cannot see each other. “And then we’d take photos when they first see each other, so they still get the surprised look on each other’s faces,” she said. “That allows us to take the family photos before the wedding and the big group photos after the wedding, and before the reception. People don’t like to leave their guests waiting which I have seen happen. You either try to do those as fast as you can, or take some time and do those really well before the wedding,” she said. “More couples are opting for a non-traditional ceremony, but I still have plenty who want to keep that way,” she said. “When it comes to putting your album together after the wedding, it makes a big difference if you have the entire day,” she said. “I try to get people to think five or 10 years down the road when they are looking back at their wedding,” she said

By Ralph Pokorny Traditionally men’s wedding bands have been plain metal bands however, that has changed with new tech-

Choose a ring

Book your photographer

SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017 • 5

nology. Now there are a wide variety of styles in addition to the traditional ones. Bands are available with a baseball stitching design, red for Cardinal fans and blue for Royals, as well as others, and camo in a variety of styles and colors, including traditional camo and even pink. “There’s a lot customization that can be done with modern technology,” Jennifer Zermeño, Rinehart Jewelry, said. Some of the possibilities allow for personal touches to be added to the band. An example would be engraving the shape of the sound waves from the couples wedding song on the band. Zermeño said one man brought in an old wooden clock that had belonged to his grandfather and they had a band custom made that included wood from the clock embedded in the wedding band. “There are so many options to personalize men’s bands today,” she said. And then there is the Elysium, which is made from crushed diamonds and described as the strongest, hardest band available. “It is truly scratch free,” Zermeño said. When it is time for the man to look for a ring for his girlfriend, Rinehart Jewelry has feature a they call the Jewelry Box, where the woman can save examples of rings and the man can come in and get ideas of what she likes, she said. “I do think the guys are more confident than in the past and this will help men pick something she will hopefully wear for the rest of her life. You want it to be something she will like,” she said Oval diamonds have become very popular for engagement rings,” Zermeño said, adding that in the last year the number of people asking for oval diamonds has at least doubled. Vintage style rings have been very popular for the last 15 years. They have a very pretty look, with floral designs and a delicate look, she said. One of the more popular motif’s is the infinity symbol, which represents infinite love. The halo style of ring has been popular for the last five years or so, she said. As the name implies, there is a halo of diamonds around a larger diamond, which can be different shapes, in the center. Another wedding jewelry related trend is to upgrade the original ring for a later anniversary. “They can trade a diamond in for a larger one and put the original diamond into a necklace you can pass down,” Zermeño said. “That is my favorite — the ability to pass down. My grandmother Rinehart saved her diamond for me and the wedding band for Jay,” she said “It provides a connection to past generations. She was almost 100 when she passed. There are some fond memories,” she said. “That’s a nice benefit of diamonds, their lasting value, and they don’t scratch,” Zermeño said.

6 • SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017



The secret to a good marriage

By Dr. Dale Cummins

Pastor Freedom Spirit Church

Over the last 35 years as a pastor and a former member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, I have been asked what the secret to a happy marriage is many times. My answer is that no marriage is happy all the time because happiness is conditional on getting w h a t y o u w a n t w h e n y o u want

By Pastor Tom Mullins and his wife, Kim Bourbon County United Methodist Church Cooperative Parish

But from the beginning of creation, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:7-9 NRSV). On Nov. 4, 2017, my wife Kim and I will celebrate our 30th Anniversary. Our awkward beginning was while I was working at a local gas station called SOHIO, which was where I first met my future wife. She was a self-serve customer, and selfservice was somewhat new in 1987. The attendant still needed to stand at the pumps and reset them; and if the person paid with a charge card, the attendant placed the credit card onto a “manual, sliding credit card

it all the time. But you can have a good marriage where both partners can be satisfied and grow as individuals and as a couple, if they are willing to do one thing — communicate. I believe that communication is 90 percent of a good marriage. To communicate well you must first understand that communication is a two-way street, to dominate a conversation to get your way is not communicating, it is bullying. Also, there are three main components to communication. First, there are “words.” These are the things you say, which comprises 7 percent of total communication. Second, there is “tone.” This includes the pitch, volume, and speed of the words being spoken. This comprises 38 percent of total communication. Third, there is “nonverbal.” This is your body language, facial expression and other movements of the body. This makes up 55 percent of total communication. A recent car insurance ad on

TV illustrates this very well, with two scenes, which flip back and forth. One scene is a young girl getting her first car and the second scene is a man whose car was stripped bare of parts. Both use exactly the same words to express their delight or pain, but the tone and nonverbals are very different. So what is the primary thing that keeps us from communicating well? Selfishness. Often, when I first meet a couple this manifests itself in the form of what “I want” from my spouse. Little or no consideration to the needs of the other person or persons in the family relationship is voiced. This can only be resolved by submitting oneself to the relationship and the needs of the whole partnership. As I mentioned earlier, there are those who believe that marriage will make them happy and be conflict free all the time. Marriage, like any relationship, will have disagreements. The key to a good marriage, which includes long periods of happiness, is learning

how to disagree and unselfishly resolve the conflict in ways that both partners can be satisfied with the outcome of the debate. I must admit here that in 42 years of marriage my wife and I have had “a few” disagreements. And we didn’t always follow the advice I’m about to give, but we did find forgiveness and reconciliation when things didn’t go perfectly. In fact, there were moments when I was proud of some of the things I thought of to call her, and she called me some things I had to go lookup. But trust me, things will go better in your marriage if you can communicate well during times of disagreement. Here are some suggestions: First, keep the focus of the disagreement on the topic at hand and do not resort to tearing down the other person or insulting their character. Second, do not try to avoid arguments altogether. Eighty percent of couples that seek out counseling do so because they have avoided conflict. Third, do

not keep the emotions you are feeling in. Doing so will result in physical illness or monumental emotional explosions. Fourth, do not approach conflicts with a win/lose attitude. There should never be a loser, but rather a solution that both can be satisfied with. Fifth, never give your spouse an ultimatum. This is like forcing a wild animal into a corner. The results will not be pretty. Sixth, never use physical attacks. This only adds to your problems. Seventh, never try to force your partner to accept your opinion against their will. Reason and persuasion are much more effective. And last but not least, when anger turns to bitterness, the relationship is in dire trouble. Get help immediately. As a Christian, I believe that our relationships flourish most when we allow Christ and His teachings to guide and direct our family relationships, or as Paul wrote in Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Good Marriage Assignment

machine” to create a receipt. When Kim and her date arrived at the service station, I walked out to the pumps, and while she was pumping gas, we were talking and I asked her where she was going. She informed me she was going to the Franklin football game, and I asked her who they were playing. She told me it was my alma mater, Lemon-Monroe. I told her there was no reason to go because Monroe would win. We completed the transaction, and as they were driving away, the car stopped, Kim got out of the car, and was heading “purposely” toward me. Kim and I differ on why she returned to the pumps. Nevertheless, I believe they drove off leaving her credit card and receipt. Her version is that I charged her too much. (Her gentleman friend that evening said it was because she was “flirting” with me.) Well, a couple

days passed, and Kim rolled into SOHIO to tell me that Franklin had won, and Monroe had lost. After several minutes, I asked her if she would like to go out, and she gave me her (landline) phone number. When I got the nerve, I called her (and later found out that she did not know my name, and asked her mother to ask me). She accepted and agreed to pick me up because she drove a 1984 Mercury Cougar and I drove a 1973 Pontiac Catalina, which are no longer makes nor models of automobiles. We decided to go to the “$1” theater and saw Back to the Beach with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. Then we went to Arby’s to eat; however, I let her order first (because I had a mere $5 in my pocket). She took me home, and when I went into the house I told my father that I thought the date went well but doubted we’d go out again, which turned out to be

wrong. This began in September 1987 and we got married on Nov. 4, 1987. Our entire story is one of Providence, and the “roller coaster” has been a lifetime of joys and tears. The births of our children, Casey and William, the deaths of our parents, Isaac and Georgia Deaton (my step-father and mother), Rollie Mullins (my biological father), and Irene Souders (my motherin-law). There is nothing more exhilarating than b e i n g on this life journey with your best friend. Placing God first in your lives is the secret

to a “great marriage.” Being in the right place at the right time helps, but being intentional is what has made it great! We are “empty nesters” and sharing the best part of our lives “in love” with God and each other.


The bottom line

Pastor Jimmy Tucker is pictured with his wife, Carolyn, and granddaughter Lydia Mae Diamond Community Church

I LOVE YOU So the question is, “What makes a good marriage?” And the simple answer is, “Love.” Physical love is good, but that alone is not what makes a good marriage. The love described in God’s Word is the true love that a marriage relationship needs to thrive. God has provided the answers to life’s questions in the Bible. First Corinthians Chapter 13 is known as the love chapter. We should familiarize ourselves with this passage, or even memorize it! “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up,

never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Three things will last forever — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT). A marriage will be good if the attribute described above is practiced in everyday life. There’s a lot of helpful advice for marriage, but the only way to have a good marriage is to put love to work. For example, live according to the Golden Rule. “Do for others what you would like them to do for you” (Matthew 7:12 NLT). Another practical exercise in love is to forgive immediately. “Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 MSG). These principles work because they’re empowered by God‘s own words. His spoken words created the universe! I could pass along many

By Nick Wright

SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017 • 7


common-sense sayings, such as: Learn to roll with the punches; Don‘t try to change each other, etc. However, I don’t want to diminish the importance of living according to God’s simple answer — LOVE. It’s challenging to walk in love, especially if it hasn’t been modeled before you when you were growing up. We need God’s help in order to love each other as He intended for a marital relationship. God’s love in our hearts is what we need. We receive God’s love when we are born again. We then have the Holy Spirit living in us Who helps us apply love in all our relationships. Without the Holy Spirit’s help, we’re all just a bunch of selfish human beings looking out for No. 1. If you truly love each other according to 1 Corinthians 13, you’ll have a good marriage. The bottom line is: A marriage lived in love will go the distance because true love is of God.

Jennifer Null began making cakes and other goodies off-and-on for nieces and nephews in 1999 and would post photos of her creations online and began receiving positive comments. She began to question whether there was a need for her services in this area. She is completely self-taught and loves to scour the internet and YouTube for inspiration then adding her own flair. Her favorite cake she has ever made was a dinosaur shaped cake for her nephew. It was “the cake that started it all,” she says adding it was that cake her dad suggested she start making cakes for others. The first cake she baked for a wedding was for the owners of Casa Azteca when they first opened in 2000. It was a three-tiered creation with a grand staircase off both sides with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. “I remember working so long on that one,” she said. “I’m very much a perfectionist.”

My wife, Carolyn, and I have been married nearly 37 years. I’ve been the pastor at Diamond since October 2016. I have counseled married couples for many years and enjoy helping people. Studying God’s Word and sharing what He reveals to me is a joy.

Tasty wedding cakes

Currently she does seven or eight weddings per year and has a two month wait time. Because she does this as a hobby she tries to keep her prices lower, aiming for about $1 per serving. “I really try to stay competitive something where somebody can come that does not have a ton of money,” she said. She loves to do

themed wedding cakes. And while she has travelled some distance to deliver, she mostly stays in the local area. Most of her business comes from Facebook where she maintains a page. You can find it by searching Facebook for Jen’s Custom Cakes. Or you can reach her by phone at 417321-5698.

8 • SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017



Choosing a venue Story and photos by Gabe Franklin

The perfect dress, a delicious cake, timely limo service — a great many things must unfold correctly in order for a bride’s dream wedding to go as planned. None of these things matter however, if there is no place to hold the wedding. “I think it has a lot to do with the feel — if you feel comfortable there,” Betty Plush, co-owner of Northwoods Wedding Chapel, said. “It’s a state of mind I think.” Betty and Larry Plush opened Northwoods Wedding Chapel in 2002, and have since hosted more than 800 weddings. The venue — or location — is just as critical as the bride’s final dress fitting, for the venue must fit the wedding as well. There are several things a bride will need to consider in booking a venue: availability, size, location and amenities among others. The first consideration is likely to be the availability of the church or the venue. Can we get married where we want to on the date we want to? “October is the new June,” Betty said, explaining recent trends in wedding dates. Ever popular are St. Valentine’s Day and Christmas. Betty said they have had couples call and ask if they could get married that afternoon. More commonly, couples are calling several months ahead to schedule their wedding. While Northwoods Wedding Chapel has hosted f i v e

weddings in one day before, many venues will be much more limited, especially if the reception is held at the same location. Contacting a possible venue early during the wedding planning is crucial as is maintaining contact before the wedding. Reservations may not get written down, a location may be double booked, or the venue may close. Betty recommended brides visit the venue first before the wedding as pictures on a website only show so much. Is the venue located next to a major airport? Active train tracks? Anything else that may interrupt the wedding or make the couple feel less special? Is the couple wanting a small cozy event with only their closest friends and family, or do they want an all-out extravaganza? Each venue is as unique as the couple who will be celebrate their wedding there. Northwoods Wedding Chapel can only seat 30 people whereas Three Cedars Event Center can seat 350. Betty said many couples want a large first wedding, but for many of their clientele, it is not their first wedding, and they are happy with a smaller more intimate gathering. Another consideration about a venue is the availability of package deals. For example, Northwoods Wedding Chapel’s packages start simple, offering a minister, two guests for witnesses and two p h o -

tos. Premium packages add music, a larger picture package, use of the dressi n g

room and other amenities. For a bride looking to simplify coordination of her wedding, a venue that offer package deals may be the best choice. And while some couples may want to decorate extravagantl y

for their wedding others do not. Northwoods Wedding Chapel comes modestly decorated. Betty said she changes a few of the decorations in the chapel to match the colors of the wedding party. “It’s the feel of the whole day,” Betty said. “You want to feel like it’s special.” Vernon County offers a number of venues available for weddings including Northwoods Wedding Chapel, Enchanted Prairie Farm, Three Cedars Event Center, and others.

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