MY FEELINGS & ME
Supporting children & young people who are struggling to attend school
THIS IS A SPACE FOR YOU TO FEEL LISTENED TO, RESPECTED AND SUPPORTED
How it’s going to look...
Where? When?
Same time and place (private space/no interruptions) 30/40 minutes per week
Who? How Long? What?
Supportive or trusted member of staff Termly programme with half-term review
Online or in a book to communicate between home and school
Week 1 Getting To Know You
About You and My memories and experiences
Our Contract
We will always meet and finish at an agreed time
Our sessions are confidential and this will only change if I feel you or anyone else, are unsafe
Only share what you feel comfortable sharing
I will always treat you with respect and I ask that you respect me and any others in our sessions. We may have different opinions but they are all important
Listening to others and thinking about responding kindly at all times
If the contract is broken we will talk and try to work it out together
Activity: Getting to know you
“I am brave, I am bruised, this is me” - Greatest Showman
Makes me happy...
My best friend is...
Favourite music...
My favourite animal...
My lucky number...
My favourite place is...
My memories and experiences
Helping you to understand your feelings and how they are linked to experiences and behaviours
Activity:
Think about important things that may have happened to you that may have caused you to worry about coming to school or impacted your confidence.
How have these events made you feel?
Draw or write about these events - don’t forget about the good times too!
CORS
This is a useful and visual way of us seeing how things are going for you
Scott Miller
What small thing could you do this week to increase the numbers by 0.5 of a point?
LIFE IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION
Week 2 Goals and Networks
Setting your goal and Support Network
Setting your own goal
Sometimes it can be helpful to think about a goal
If you were granted a wish what would you wish for?
If you got your wish how would you feel? This feeling can be your goal!
How might you achieve your goal?
Activity - My Steps to Success Plan
Who can help?
Setting up our network
I have people on my network that I feel comfortable talking to, they help me by listening and supporting me
They are...
They will all know my plan and support me when it gets challenging.
My Support Network Activity:
Draw or create an image or collage which represents all the people on your network and how they help you; if you don’t have many – think about the sort of people you would like on your network. What qualities do they have that are important to you?
PEOPLE COME
BUT
AND GO,
THE ONES WE CHOOSE TO KEEP AROUND US ARE THERE FOR A REASON
Week 3 Understanding Me
Bag of worries and What helps?
How full is my bucket?
How can I empty it?
What needs my urgent attention?
What can’t I change and need to accept?
What can I change? Who can help?
My Worry Bag/Bucket
Activity: Draw your own worry bucket / bag
Think about things that make you worried or upset and draw your own bucket or bag.
On a bucket you could draw lines across it and label these to show how much they fill it up. If you have chosen a bag, you could identify the feelings that you would put in your bag and draw images to represent these (or chose words to describe!)
When it is full go through the questions on our worry bucket tool. How can you empty your bucket?
Activity:
What helps when I have worries?
Activity: What makes me feel worse?
‘GOALS SHOULD BE ACHIEVABLE, SO WE CAN CREATE NEW ONES AND CONTINUE TO GROW’
Our Incredible Brain
Flipping your Lid
Body Mapping
Designing your Brain Week 4
Hand Brain Model
Our emotional brain is primitive – it has been there since the stone age and is called the Amygdala. This emotional brain (that's easier to say!) looses connection to our thinking brain (Frontal Cortex) when we are stressed. We 'flip our lid'. We need to find a way to reconnect to our thinking brain.
When our emotional brain is triggered it releases a 'super power hormone (Adrenaline) and we go into Fight, Flight, Freeze or Flop. Think of an example where you have 'flipped your lid – could you think straight? Probably not!
The Brain!
Our Emotional Brain
Fight, flight or freeze or flopunpleasant Adrenaline (a super-power hormone)
Triggers
Our Body’s Response to Anxiety
Activity:
Feelings are recognised in our body and different feelings can create different sensations/responses
Fuzzy head
Dizzy
Butterfly tummy
Sick feeling
Draw a map of and identify where you feel certain emotions
Shaky Hands
Scared
Wobbly knees
Nervousness
NO BRAIN IS THE SAME, THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU OUTSTANDING
Week 5 My Feelings, Thoughts and me
Thinking about our triggers
Unhelpful thinking
When do you get worried?
FEELINGS ARE FOR FEELING - EVEN THE HARDEST ONES
The Emotion Wheel
Activity:
How many feelings can we name?
How does school make you feel?
Try to name as many different feelings as possible...
Thinking about thoughts, feelings and behaviours
Activity:
What are my triggers about school?
How do I feel when that happens?
What did I notice about my body?
THOUGHTS
What we think affects how we feel and act
BEHAVIOURS
How we act affects how we feel and think
FEELINGS
What we feel affects how we think and act
Hot (unhelpful) Thoughts
How our thoughts affect our feelings
How unhelpful or helpful thoughts affect how we feel, which affect how we behave
Activity:
Discuss what you think might be ‘helpful’ or ‘unhelpful’ thoughts about going to school.
Make a list below
Helpful thoughts
Unhelpful thoughts
SOMETIMES TO FEEL BETTER, WE MUST TAKE
2 STEPS
BACKWARDS
TO GO 5 STEPS FORWARDS
Week 6
Discovering my early warning signs
Stress signature
Early warning signs
My Stress Signature
When I have lost the plot I can . . .
When I am a bit stressed, I tend to . . .
When I am ok I generally . . .
Activity: Traffic Lights
When everything is going well and I am feeling happy
What might you see?
What will help and how will I communicate this?
Warning signs – I am starting to feel wobbly
Feeling very anxious
Understanding our behaviours and response to certain situations
Activity: Triggers & response
S
Setting - Where did I feel most anxious or upset?
TTrigger - What happened just before?
A
Action – How did I respond? What were my thoughts and feelings?
R
Result - What happened afterwards?
Understanding our behaviours and response to certain situations
Activity: Triggers & response
What could I have done differently?
Then what would have happened?
Window Of Tolerance
This is where things feel just right, where you are best able to cope with the punches life throws at you.
You’re calm but not tired Alert but not anxious
Identifying what we find difficult, will help not only yourself but others
Week 7 My School Day
Positives and Difficulties
Activity:
Identify positives and difficulties about school
What I like about school
What is difficult but okish..
What I feel I can’t manage
Reviewing your timetable Activity:
Use your school timetable to identify lessons which you may feel anxious about as well as those you feel comfortable in.
Using a red, amber and green anxiety code may help or any colours you like. Start from the moment you wake up until when you get home and relax
Reviewing your timetable Activity:
You may experience anxiety just by thinking about some lessons / lunchtimes / break times / transition to or from school
Start by tackling what you can manage. Then build up. What would make amber lessons a bit more green?
Additional tool: Anxiety Mapping
(if
you are experiencing anxiety all the time)
Use this chart to identify the time, location or activities which can be difficult for you during the whole day
Feeling very anxious
5
4
3
Feeling Ok
2
1 0
My Happy Place
When you are in school and you feel worried, thinking about a safe place can help
Additional Activity:
Where's your favourite place?
How does this place make you feel?
How do they make you feel?
Do you have a favourite pet/animal/person?
Let’s draw your safe place or pet and get creative!
Imagination should be used to create reality, not escape it
Week 8 Reasonable Adjustments
What could help me at school?
What do I need?
Reasonable Adjustments
Areas of support
Environmental Communication
Sensory aspects
Learning Social
Things that could help me
Uniform adjustments
Ear defenders
Extra time for tests/exams
Activity:
Exploring reasonable adjustments
What areas of support do you need help with?
What changes could be made to make this happen?
Who could help with this?
Activity: Steps to Success
Checking my goal
What steps have I achieved towards this?
How will these reasonable adjustments help me to progress?
Don't forget, it is okay to not feel okay!
Week 9 Knowing my Strengths
Building my strengths
Positive things about me
Activity:
Three positive things about me!
Ask everyone on your support network to tell you three positive things....
Some examples of strengths:
Making people laugh
Caring for others
Performing
Being creative
Being a good friend
Activity:
Draw yourself, make a list, or outline a mind map
What are my strengths?
What do others notice about me?
What might I need help with?
Who do you admire on social media or tv – what qualities do they haveand do you think you have any of these?
Week 10
Making Friendships and Building Resilience
Friendships
Building Resilience
The Friendship Network
Sometimes we have lots of people come into our lives, some that leave and some that stay
It is important to remember that our relationships and friendships are always moving and changing
You might have people in your life that you feel close to you at the moment and ones that you want to stay away from
My Friendship Network
Activity:
What does my network look like?
Who is in my inner circle and helps me feel more confident?
Are there people who I don’t feel comfortable with and would place outside my circle?
Who else could I add to my friendship network?
What is a friend?
What do I need in a friend? What sort of friend am I?
We will always get knocked down; it is the getting back up that counts the most
Taking care of yourself is important. It is how we take our power back!
Week 11
How to help meMy Toolkit
Making my care box
Strategies
Risk on purpose - fun to be scared
Fun - When you are coming into school and building up your steps to success you may be risking on purpose. Remember, avoiding just makes your emotional brain think that you are in a huge danger. As you expose your brain to what it thinks is a risk, it will get calmer.
Feeling safe
Fun to be scared
Risking on purpose
Feeling unsafe
Safe Place Scary Movie/ Rollercoaster May not be fun but we want the outcome May not have choice or control
What can you do to help your emotional brain feel grounded?
Techniques
Breathing Techniques
Balloon Breathing
Put your hands on your belly
Take a deep breath in and imagine there is a balloon in your belly that you are blowing up
Breathe out and imagine that you are letting all the air out of the balloon
Breathing Techniques
Bunny Breathing
Imagine that you are a rabbit
Breathe three quick breaths in through your nose
Exhale one deep breath through your mouth for three seconds
Repeat
Breathing Techniques
Star Breathing
Trace around the star and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth
Count to four each time
Breathe In Breathe
Breathe Out
Breathe Out
Breathe In
Breathing Techniques Square Breathing
Putting together a 'calm down' Box
Some ideas could be:
Stress Ball
Fidget Toy
Favourite Toy
Sensory Textures
Pens/Art supplies
Activity:
Emergency Care Wall
Let's make a poster about what we need
List of reasons why you are good enough
Sometimes we need to take a time out, so we can reset and start again
Week 12 Putting it all together
Reflection
Reflection
Goals
Challenges and highlights
Personal toolkitanything that needs to be finished off?
What else do I need?
Take time to celebrate you!
Activity:
Things I have learned about me and what the challenges have been
About me
Challenges along the way
Activity:
Steps to Success revisited
What was your goal?
Did you make steps towards your goal?
How far have you still got to go?
Activity: Next Steps
What
I would like to happen
What’s in my plan going forward