MUSIC
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Sorry! Chubby Checker Will Not Be Measuring Your Penis Holy wow. It’s not every week that a bonafide cultural icon just twists his way into Humboldt. But, by golly, on Saturday, March 23, musical legend Chubby Checker will take the stage at CherAe Heights Casino and, we’re guessing, perform “The Twist.” Geez, if he’s savvy, he’ll perform it three or four times. Why? Because the 1961 megahit was so huge it was named the number one song on Billboard magazine’s 2008 “Hot 100 50th Anniversary” chart, officially making it the most successful record of the American rock ‘n’ roll era. Suck on that, Santana (feat. Rob Thomas). But while Mr. Checker will undoubtedly perform for you “The Twist,” “Let’s Twist Again,” “Slow Twisting,” and other songs related to the ginchy, hip-swingin’ dance fire he ignited five decades ago, what he will not do on Saturday night is measure the length and girth of your penis. Here is how we know this: Roughly a month ago, the musical legend — born Ernest Evans — made headlines when it was announced that he
“IT’S THIS BIG.”
was filing a $500 million trademark infringement lawsuit against Hewlett Packard for “irreparable damage and harm.” The beef? A novelty app that allowed users to estimate the length of their man’s penis based on his shoe size called — do I have to say it? — “The Chubby Checker.” But here’s the twist … and it goes like this: The app is already dead, since HP stopped producing the hardware and operating system it ran on in 2011 and removed it from being downloadable in September 2012. Further, it was reported that the stupid thing was only downloaded a total of 84 times. Very few chubbies were checked. Mr. Evans’ legacy is likely secure. Everyone chill. Where were we? Oh ya! Go twist with Chubby on Saturday, folks! Doors at 7 p.m. Show at 8 p.m. Tickets are $39/$49 for premium. For more info, go to cheraeheightscasino.com. One more time: penis. — Andrew Goff
MOVIES
Chubby Checker and the Wildcats. 8 p.m. Cher-Ae Heights Casino, Trinidad. Twist with a music legend! $39/$49 premium. cheraeheightscasino.com. 677-3611. Heartwood Institute Benefit Concert. 6 p.m.-midnight. Mateel Community Center, 59 Rusk Lane, Redway. Featuring Spanish Rumba ska band LoCura, reggae group Sol Horizon and DJ Izzy Wise. $25. www.heartwoodinstitute. com. 923-5005.
Bully. 6 p.m. First Congregational Church, 900 Hodgson St., Eureka. PFLAG screening of the award winning documentary about bullying. Discussion follows the film. $5.
OUTDOORS
Audubon Society Marsh Field Trip. 8:30 a.m. Meet at the parking lot at the end of South I Street. Led by Ken Burton. Bring binoculars and have a great morning birding. Trip held rain or shine. 442-9353. California State Parks Restoration Day. 9 a.m.-noon. Meet at the Trinidad State Beach parking lot off of Stagecoach Road. Removal of invasive, non-native plants such as English ivy. E-mail Michelle.Forys@parks. ca.gov. 677-3109. Ma-le’l Dunes Restoration. 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Meet at Ma-le’l South, off of Young Lane in Manila. Remove invasive English Ivy. friendsofthedunes.org. 444-1397. Ma-le’l Dunes Guided Walk. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Meet at the Ma-le’l North parking lot accessed off of Young Lane in Manila. Join naturalist Claire Pericelli for a walk through freshwater marsh, saltwater marsh, dune forest and large moving sand dunes. friendsofthedunes. org. 444-1397. Friends of the Marsh Tour. 1-3 p.m. Arcata Marsh and Wildlife Sanctuary Interpretive Center, 600 S. G St. Meet leader Jane Wilson for a 90-minute walk focusing on the ecology of the marsh. 826-2359.
MEETINGS
Mensa Forum. Noon-1:30 p.m. Samoa Cookhouse, Samoa Road, Arcata. Cheryl Seidner, former chairwoman of the Wiyot Tribe shares “History and Culture of the Wiyot Tribe.” No-host luncheon. 768-9701.
ETC.
Appraisal Faire. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Morris Graves Museum of Art, 636 F St., Eureka. Have a piece of art, an antique, or a collectable that you wonder how much it is worth? Get the lowdown from knowledgeable appraisers. www. humboldtarts.org. 442-0278. Fair Wage Cafe. Noon-5 p.m. Eureka Labor Temple, 840 E St. Speakers advocate for fair wages and working conditions. Food, music and children’s activities. fairwages.org. 442-7465.
24 sunday EVENTS
23rd Annual Redwood Coast Jazz Festival. Noon. See March 21 listing. Annual Daffodil Show. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Fortuna River Lodge. See March 23 listing. Annual Juggling Festival. 10 a.m. See March 21 listing.
MUSIC
Eureka Symphony Spring Chamber Music Benefit Concert. 3 p.m. Eureka Women’s Club, 1531 J St. Terrie Baune, Carol Jacobson and John Chernoff perform works by Bach, Schubert and Shostakovich followed
28 NORTH COAST JOURNAL • THURSDAY, MARCH 21, 2013 • northcoastjournal.com
by an informative talk on the selections. $25. www. eurekasymphony.com. 839-0573.
OUTDOORS
Mud Puppies and Pollywogs. 1-3 p.m. Humboldt Bay National Wildlife Refuge, 1020 Ranch Road, Loleta. Learn about frogs and salamanders through fun educational hands-on activity stations for all ages.
ETC.
Redwood Coast Scrabble Club. 1-5 p.m. Arcata Community Center, 321 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Parkway. Fun with words. 677-9242. Free Storytelling Workshop. 1-3:30 p.m. Arcata Playhouse, 1251 Ninth St. For people interested in crafting an oral story around the theme of “community.” Guided by local storyteller Ali Freedlund. E-mail ali@mattole. org. 822-4477. Community Egg Hunt. 2 p.m. Grace Baptist Church, 220 Buhne, Eureka. Afternoon of egg hunting and prizes. gbceureka.org. 444-9677.
25 monday EVENTS
40 Days of Prayer and Contemplation. Noon. Gazebo in Old Town Eureka, Corner of F and Second streets. Clergy for Choice event celebrating women and reproductive rights co-hosted by reverend Eric Duff and Nancy Dye. 442-2961.
DANCE
Friendship Circle Dance. 7-10 p.m. Moose Lodge, 4328 Campton Road, Eureka. Dancers 50 and older enjoy dancing with live music from the 1930s-50s. $4. 725-5323.
MEETINGS
Low Vision Support Group. 10-11 a.m. Azalea Hall, 1620 Pickett Road, McKinleyville. Meet others who are also having vision loss challenges. E-mail dougdrose@suddenlink.net. 839-0588.
26 tuesday EVENTS
AEDC Spotlight on Success. 5:30-7 p.m. Arcata Theatre Lounge, 1036 G St. Celebrate small business success in Humboldt at this networking extravaganza featuring food and beverage samples, displays and demonstrations. Music by Pressure/Anya. E-mail susans@aedc1. org. 822-4616. Betty Chinn: Turning Hatred into Hope. 5-6:30 p.m. Humboldt State University, Arcata. Local heroine speaks on her personal history as a survivor of the Cultural Revolution and how it set the path for her work today trying to give hope to those who have lost it. Part of the Pan-Asian Pacific Islander Perspectives festival. E-mail apasa@humboldt.edu. 616-8663.
MUSIC
Pimps of Joytime. 9 p.m. Humboldt Brews, 856 10th St., Arcata. Road tested and audience approved groove machine. Vokab Kompany opens. $15. 826-2739.
OUTDOORS
Slower Speed Arcata Marsh Tour. 2 p.m. Meet in the Klopp Lake parking at the end of South I Street. Geared to persons with limited mobility. Led by Friends of the Arcata Marsh Jane Wilson and John McNeely. 822-3475.
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