Family Connection Newsletter - October 2020 by Fleet and Family Support Program

OCTOBER 2020

In this Issue... Tips for Helping a Friend Experiencing Domestic Abuse During COVID-19 Ombudsman Moment October 2020 Caregiving Tips For Families of People With Disabilities Payroll Tax Deferral: What to Know and Do Your Virtual FFSC Webinar Schedule

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Family Connection is a publication of the Fleet and Family Support Program. The Navy’s Fleet and Family Support Program promotes the self-reliance and resilience of Sailors and their families. We provide information that can help you meet the unique challenges of the military lifestyle. The appearance of external links in this newsletter does not constitute official endorsement on behalf of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense. If you have questions or comments, contact the Fleet and Family Support Program, cnic.ffsp.fct@navy.mil.

The Military Community Respects, Defends and Supports Victims of Domestic Abuse October is Domestic Violence Prevention Month. Even though prevention happens every day, having a designated month to focus specifically on the prevention of intimate partner abuse, domestic abuse and spousal abuse brings communities and advocacy organizations together to support individuals experiencing any form of relationship abuse. Supporting victims has become even more complicated due to COVID-19. Stayat-home orders have yielded circumstances of isolation or dependency and may contribute to increased risk for victims by creating barriers between their connections from friends, family and supportive services, such as shelters. Preventing domestic abuse is a shared responsibility; it takes the effort of the entire community to prevent. This year’s Domestic Violence Prevention Month awareness activities provide simple but safe and effective ways for you to help individuals at risk for domestic abuse during a time of increased isolation. A social media campaign has been started urging us all to be United to End Domestic Abuse. The campaign brings attention to and provides strategies for caring for victims of domestic abuse and supporting your community and the people affected by domestic abuse. The military community respects, defends and supports victims of domestic abuse and this year’s campaign focuses on reminding victims that assistance is always available. The DoD’s Family Advocacy Program (FAP) remains committed to supporting service members and their families impacted by domestic abuse by providing victim advocacy and crisis intervention. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and is not their fault. If you know someone who is experiencing abuse or who is in an unhealthy relationship, ask how you can best support them and let them know that you are there to listen. If you know someone who feels unsafe at home, stay in touch with them, let them know that they are not alone and remind them that there are options for getting help 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Whatever the circumstances, a call to your installation’s FAP or Military OneSource can link you to resources and support. If you are concerned about your safety and need immediate support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or live chat with an advocate at thehotline.org. You can find more information about the FAP at their website. As a community, we must join forces to end abuse. We can do that by promoting an understanding of what safe and healthy relationships look like, provide ways for people to set boundaries and connect individuals who seek help to outreach and supportive services, especially during stressful times like a global pandemic. ATTENTION READERS: Make Family Connections Interactive! Share your questions, comments, good news stories, useful resources and articles you have written or found helpful. As space allows, we will include them in future newsletters OR release on social media. Submit to cnic.ffsp.fct@navy.mil

OCTOBER 2020

Tips for helping a friend experiencing domestic abuse during COVID-19.

Tips for HelpingIntroduction a Friend Experiencing Domestic Abuse During COVID-19

During a public health crisis, when officials recommend “social distancing” to slow the spread of infection, those facing domestic abuse may encounter additional risk. More likely than not, they will find themselves confined in the same spaces with their perpetrators for prolonged periods of time, limiting their privacy and exacerbating threats to their safety. If you have a friend, family member or co-worker in an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do. But you can do your part by starting a conversation, offering support and suggesting ways to get help. This guide, developed by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), offers tips on how you can help a friend dealing with domestic abuse while also maintaining your safety during a public health crisis. Leaving an abusive relationship can be a dangerous endeavor in the best of times, but during times of global crisis it becomes even more difficult. This is why it’s important not to pressure someone to leave when they don’t feel ready. Instead, let them know you are there for them, that you support them, and that you’ll be there to help them figure out the best strategies to get through this safely.

Ask them how they would prefer to connect

Stay in touch and be creative

“How would you prefer we connect?” It’s important to establish a safe communication channel since they will be, in many instances, physically close to the abuser, who might be monitoring conversations. For instance, is there a specific platform or app they prefer to use? Would they prefer an instant message or text over a call? Or perhaps instead of a messaging app, you could chat in an online game, since the abuser may be less likely to look there. If communicating through text or chat, it may be helpful to remind them about erasing messages when the conversation is over. What is most important is that they think through which communication method will be the least risky for them. And remember, what’s safe for someone one day may be dangerous the next, so be sure to check back in each time to see if that method is still best for them.

Help them think through how to stay safe during COVID-19

“Let’s have a call with the kids?” or “Let’s play a game online” Once you identify a preferred way to connect, make sure you stay in touch and try to be creative in how you reach out. Avoid making the abuser suspicious so the communication lines can stay open. If you both have children, for example, you can suggest joint calls between both yourselves and the kids. Or create a secret code for the conversations, such as multiple code words, sentences or emojis that would help you communicate more safely. For instance, think together about a code word or symbol that would trigger a call from you. This might very well be the best strategy to disrupt an ongoing abusive situation and prevent it from escalating. Or find another one that would mean they need you to call a friend or family member, the police, or the local helpline. Keep the lines of communication open without directly asking about the abuse, and let them know you are available to talk and help whenever they may need it.

Sheltering in Place recommendations or restrictions may create additional difficulties and risks for survivors. If authorities call for “shelter in place” in your area, are there other friends or family they could stay with during this time? Consider helping them to reach out to these people to make a plan.

“Let’s develop a safety plan” Help them think through what dangerous situations may arise, and help create a plan for how they can get through it safely. This could include, for instance, giving them the number to a local domestic violence helpline, or developing an escape strategy such as saying they need to go to the pharmacy or grocery store and, once there, asking to use the phone to call for help.

NNEDV is the leading voice for domestic violence survivors and their advocates, and offers a range of programs and initiatives to address the complex causes and far-reaching consequences of this issue. For more information please visit nnedv.org.

Be supportive and believe in them “You are not alone. I care about you, and I’m here for you, no matter what.” Reassure them that they’re not alone and that there is help and support out there. It may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. If they want to talk, listen carefully and be empathetic. Let them know that the abuse is not their fault and that you believe what they’re saying. Ask what you can do and make yourself available to help them figure out a solution. Your support will be even more important during these trying times.

Help find a local domestic violence helpline “Here is the contact information for that grocery store I’ve told you about” Help your friend find the right channel to ask for help. Is there a local domestic violence helpline? What time are they available? What services and support do they provide? Many domestic violence helplines are working to provide their services on online chat during the pandemic. It’s probably safer for you to research and provide this information rather than them looking it up. Make sure when you send this information, you are communicating it safely and using any agreed upon code words or references and communication channels, to avoid raising suspicions.

Visit the following links to learn more about: Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors https://www.techsafety.org/resources-survivors Privacy & Safety at Facebook: A guide for survivors of abuse https://www.facebook.com/safety/resources

OCTOBER 2020

Ombudsman Moment October 2020 AN UNUSUAL YEAR The Navy Family Ombudsman Program supports mission readiness by enhancing family resilience. Resilient families allow Sailors to focus on their work and their command’s mission. Although the Navy recruits Sailors, it retains families. Families that are satisfied with the Navy lifestyle are more likely to choose to “Stay Navy.” The role of an ombudsman has been developed and honed for over fifty years. When you think of an ombudsman, what traits come to mind? In the past six months, flexibility and adaptability are two that come to mind. This year, the COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way all of us “do business” in all facets of our lives. Navy families have had to deal with so many unexpected things this year – shut downs, quarantine, isolation, home schooling and online schooling for their children, full-time telework and/or layoffs, PCS delays - to name just a few. Who could have imagined all that has happened this year? However, let us assure you that ombudsmen, Navy-wide, have risen to the challenge and continued to provide appropriate information and referrals, as needed. Training and assembly meetings have continued via the virtual platform to ensure that they are able to deliver the most up-to-date resources. In the coming days, weeks and months, families should continue to rely upon their command ombudsman for official information and answers to their questions. To locate your command ombudsman, contact your Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC) Ombudsman Coordinator or RCC Warrior and Family Support Specialist, or use the Contact Your Ombudsman feature on the Ombudsman Registry home page at https://ombudsmanregistry.cnic.navy.mil.

OCTOBER 2020

Caregiving Tips For Families of People With Disabilities FROM THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION (CDC) If you are a family member who cares for someone with a disability, whether a child or an adult, meeting personal, caregiving and everyday needs can be challenging. The CDC has information to help family caregivers and to provide information for those they care for to stay safe and healthy. These general caregiving tips provide families with information on how to stay healthy and positive. Be Informed. Gather information about your family member’s condition, and discuss issues with others involved in the care of your family member. Being informed will help you make more knowledgeable health decisions and improve your understanding about any challenges your family might face. Notice how others care for the person with special needs. Be aware of signs of mental or physical abuse. Get

Support. Family members and friends can provide support in a variety of ways and oftentimes want to help. Determine if there are big or small things they can do to assist you and your family. Join a local or online support group. A support group can give you the chance to share information and connect with people who are going through similar experiences. A support group may help combat the isolation and fear Friends, family, health care providers, support groups, community services, and counselors are just a few of the people available to help you and your family.

an Advocate. Be an advocate for your family member with a disability. Caregivers who are effective advocates may be more successful at getting better service. Ask questions. For example, if your family member with a disability uses a wheelchair and you want to plan a beach vacation, find out if the beaches are accessible via a car, ramp, portable walkway mat, or other equipment. Inform other caregivers of any special conditions or circumstances. For example, if your family member with a disability has a latex allergy, remind dental or medical staff each time you visit them. Document the medical history of your family member with a disability, and keep this information current. Become familiar with the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Family Medical Leave Act, and other state and national provisions. Know how and when to apply them to your situation.

Empowering. Focus on what you and your family member with a disability can do. Find appropriate milestones and celebrate them. If someone asks you questions about the family member with a disability, let him or her answer when possible. Doing so may help empower the individual to engage with others. When appropriate, teach your family member with a disability to be as independent and self-assured as possible. Always keep health and safety issues in mind.

Take

Care of Yourself. Caring for a family member with a disability can wear out even the strongest caregiver. Stay healthy for yourself and those you care for. Work hard to maintain your personal interests, hobbies, and friendships. Do not let caregiving consume your entire life. This is not healthy for you or those you care for. Balance is key. Delegate some caregiving tasks to other reliable people. Take a break. Short breaks, like an evening walk or relaxing bath, are essential. Long breaks are nurturing. Arrange a retreat with friends or get away with a significant other when appropriate. Do not ignore signs of illness: if you get sick, see a health care provider. Pay attention to your mental and emotional health as well. Remember, taking good care of yourself can help the person you care for as well. Exercising and eating healthy also are important.

Keep Balance in the Family. Family members with a disability may require extra care and attention. Take time for all family members, taking into account the needs of each individual. For example, it is important for parents of a child with a disability to spend time with each other and with any other children, they might have. Consider respite care, which is short-term, temporary care provided to people with disabilities so that their families can take a break from the daily routine of caregiving. Keep in mind that these tips are universal to address many family issues. Information, support, advocacy, empowerment, care and balance are the foundation for a healthy family and are appropriate no matter what the challenge. Your local FFSC has resources to support families of children with disabilities. Reach out to your local Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) case liaison and visit the EFMP website for more information.

OCTOBER 2020

Payroll Tax Deferral: What to Know and Do BY: TAMMIE CORBIN Does it feel like you got some extra money in your recent paycheck? That may be because some of your payroll taxes have been deferred. If you make less than $8,666 each month, you had an extra 6.2 percent in your paycheck. Unfortunately, it may not be yours to keep. Here is what we know about the payroll tax deferral and what you should do to ensure you do not come up short in 2021. Why is this happening? In order to provide relief during the COVID-19 pandemic, President Donald Trump issued the Memorandum on Deferring Payroll Tax Obligations in Light of the Ongoing COVID-19 Disaster and the Internal Revenue Service issued guidance on implementing the memorandum on August 28, 2020. Who does this impact? The memorandum affects all federal employees and all branches of the military. For military members, if your monthly base pay is less than $8,666, a portion of payroll tax is automatically deferred through the end of 2020. If you are separating from the military in 2020 and have had payroll taxes deferred, you are still responsible for the deferred taxes however guidance on the collection process is not currently released. What does this mean? This deferral only applies to the employee portion of Social Security payroll taxes (6.2 percent). It does not affect your federal income tax withholding or exemptions. Your take home pay will increase during the final four months of 2020 but this is not free money. Unless implementation of tax forgiveness plan, DFAS will withhold double payroll tax from January 2021 through April 2021. The government will withhold the regular 6.2 percent based on 2021 pay rates and they will withhold the deferred 6.2 percent based on 2020 pay rates. When will this deferral happen and when do I have to pay it back? For military members, this deferral is effective for September 2020 mid-month pay until December 31, 2020. The deferred taxes are due over from January 1, 2021 to April 30, 2021. According to the supplemental detail in IRS Notice 2020-54, “interest, penalties and additions to tax will begin to accrue on May 1, 2021, with respect to any unpaid applicable taxes.” What should I do? Here are five things you can do right now to prepare: 1. Put the extra money in your paycheck in a savings or another interest-bearing account. This will help you cover your reduced income in 2021 when you have less take home pay. 2. Understand your compensation and deductions and review your Leave and Earnings (LES) statement. Monitor the DFAS website for the most current information Your Base Pay under Entitlements (Block 10) is subject to FICA Taxes for each wage period (Block 39). Your deductions (Block 11) show deductions for FICA – SOC SECURITY. Generally, it should be equal to Base Pay x .062 (6.2 percent). Be sure to save at least this amount each month in order to have it available in 2021. 3. Visit DFAS’s website for more information on the deferral and review the Military Fact Sheet and Frequently Asked Questions. 4. Get help by talking to a financial counselor at your local FFSC. They can help you create a budget, understand your LES and help you to take charge of your financial readiness. You will find additional financial information at the FFSC’s personal financial website or the Military OneSource’s website. 5. Learn more about making smart money moves at MilSpouse Money Mission on their website at www.milspousemoneymission.org.

OCTOBER 2020 OCTOBER 2020

Your Virtual FFSC Webinar Schedule

We are all more organized in different areas of our life, but luckily FFSC has Subject Matter Experts that can provide you more tips and tricks to help tackle the areas that need improving.

How to register:

Step #1: Create an Account — Visit MyNavyFamily.com to establish a free account. We recommend establishing your

account at least one day before the webinar. Be sure to enter your time zone!! For NMCI, use the full URL: https://learning.zeiders.refineddata.com. Step #2: View the calendar — Once your account is confirmed, click “Live Webinar” at the top of the page to view the calendar and select a webinar. Step #3: Receive a Reminder Email — You will receive an email and link for the webinar one week, one day, and one hour prior to the webinar! Please feel free to message us at learning@zeiders.com if you have any questions. We look forward to seeing everyone there! Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday 1

6 1:00 PM EST Spouse Employment and Education Info Session

9:00 AM EST Saving and Investing

Building Healthy Relationships

9:00 AM EST Spouse Newcomers Orientation 11:00 AM EST Smooth Move During COVID19 12:00 PM EST Social Media Presence 4:00 PM EST Being the Best You - Part 1

27 4:00 PM EST Being the Best You - Part 2

8 10:00 AM EST IA Financial Preparedness

5:00 PM EST Moving Out

12:00 PM EST Interview Skills

9:00 AM EST Federal Employment

12:00 PM EST How to Survive the Holidays

9:00 AM EST Job Search Strategies

10:00 AM EST Stalking

10:00 AM EST Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

1:00 PM EST Fundamentals of Resume Writing What About the Kids 4:00 PM EST LinkedIn Bringing Baby Home

1:00 PM EST The Value of a Mentor Parenting Tips

Friday

2:00 PM EST Saving Money

16 9:00 AM EST Personal Communications

23 9:00 AM EST Let’s Coupon!

5:00 PM EST How to Complete a Household Goods Move Application

28 4:00 PM EST General Homecoming Brief

1:00 PM EST Financial Readiness in the Military 5:00 PM EST Navy Retirement ... Is it Enough?