INDIANALIVING SECTION E
[INSIDE]
Clean living run amok
Mandated sanitary wipes for carts? Our fear factor has gone overboard, columnist Lori Borgman says. [E2]
D THE INDIANAPOLIS STAR D MONDAY, MARCH 26, 2007 D INDYSTAR.COM/LIVING
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FRANK ESPICH and JANET SCHNEIDER / Star photo illustration
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By Kimiko Martinez
kimiko.martinez@indystar.com
arcey Cram and Ryan Flynn live together, but have slept separately for two years. Nothing’s wrong, thank you. The Ingalls couple is among many with separate sleeping accommodations under the same roof. “At first I was a little put off,” said Cram, 28. “Then I realized, it’s nice to have that space to myself.” While some might view this as odd, it’s a trend that’s apparently on the upswing. While local builders say they haven’t had many requests for dual master bedrooms, according to the National Association of Home Builders, more than 60 percent of custom houses will have them by 2015. Despite outsiders’ perception that something must be wrong with the relationship, many couples find the arrangement benefits both parties and can even strengthen the bonds of intimacy. They sleep apart, despite the lingering stigma, because one person snores, or one’s a night owl, or one tosses and turns and hogs the covers — any number of reasons, in fact, beyond marital troubles.
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MINUTE ASST. MANAGING EDITOR/FEATURES: Jacqueline Thomas FEATURES PHONE: 317.444.6267
Couples who sleep apart say their relationships are just fine, thank you — maybe even better than most Cram, for one, thinks that separate bedrooms have helped her relationship. “We tend to set aside more ‘us’ time than we did before,” she said. Historically, and in many societies, keeping separate quarters is the norm. Current ideals, though, seem to equate love and marriage with a shared bed. The age-old assumption that something must be wrong if a couple is sleeping apart is inaccurate, say couples who do so. Empty-nesters Rick and Nancy Miller of Greenwood moved into separate bedrooms a year ago. “We’ve been together for 38 years, so we pretty much know that we love each other,” said Nancy. “But he’s a snorer. And I’m going through menopause and can’t sleep anyway. Even when I was taking a sleeping pill, he was still waking me up . . . I was just tired all the time.” A 2002 National Sleep Foundation (NSF) Sleep in America poll found that 74 percent of American adults are experiencing a sleeping problem
MEATLESS APPEAL An Indianapolis software engineer is in the running for the title of North America’s Sexiest Vegetarian. The contest, sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has narrowed a field of more than 700 entrants to 10 men and 10 women. Brad Loveall, a 32-year-old Indiana native, told PETA he was inspired to forgo animal products after reading the 1975 book “Animal Liberation,” which describes how still-conscious animals in factory farms are mutilated, shoved into crates and slaughtered. Check him out and vote for your favorite at www.goveg.com/ f-sexyveg07-vote.asp. — Kelly Kendall
James Munos, who works a late shift, sometimes crashes on the couch when he gets home.
Kimberly Munos says being married but sleeping separately is “kind of like the best of both worlds.”
HOPING FOR THE BIG TIME Indianapolis filmmaker Leon Mallory is vying for a spot on a reality TV show that could lead to a $1 million development deal at DreamWorks studio. Airing this spring on Fox, “On the Lot” will feature 16 undiscovered filmmakers competing for the support of the show’s viewers. Mallory, 24, Westside, has a short film online called “Twin Lost.” Visit http://films.the lot.com/films/22197. — Courtenay Edelhart
a few nights a week or more, and more than one in three is so sleepy during the day that it interferes with daily activities. Which may be why many people are opting to get a decent night’s sleep in a separate room, rather than inadequate sleep next to a loved one. “At this point in our life,” Miller said, “we have a nice home and we just want to be comfortable. It doesn’t affect anything else about our married life.” It doesn’t say anything about the state of the marriage, either, said intimacy expert Patty Brisben. “I don’t think that there’s a problem if it doesn’t bother either party,” said Brisben, founder and CEO of Pure Romance Inc., in Cincinnati. “They have to communicate and understand why this is happening — snoring, erratic sleep patterns, whatever reason.” Another assumption is that the so-called flame has gone out. Another misconception, said Brisben. “When couples do sleep in a sep-
arate bedroom, they have to pay closer attention to their relationship than couples who are sleeping together,” she said. “You have to create nights to spend together. You do have to pay attention to each other’s needs and wants so that you still have that time together.” Kimberly Munos doesn’t share a bed very often with her husband, James Munos, who works a late shift and doesn’t get home until 4 a.m. He gets the bed while she’s at work during the day. Sometimes, he crashes on a comfortable couch the Westside couple invested in. “As far as affecting our sex life, it really doesn’t at all,” said Kimberly. “We do it when we get the chance to. And it’s quality when we do do it. I think it helps us take advantage of that time (we have together) on the weekends,” she said. “When we’re around each other, we’re holding hands, always finding ways to make physical contact with each other.” People find their sleeping arrangement “bizarre,” she said, but it works. “Maybe it’s an ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ kind of thing,” she said. “It’s kind of like the best of both worlds — you’re married, but you get your freedom to do what you want.” And, more importantly, a good night’s sleep. ✭ Call Kimiko Martinez at (317) 444-6305.
[GOIN’ ON TODAY] BLEND OF ELEMENTS Listen to a concert and get a history lesson at the same time from the New Century String Quartet. The classical music group explores the artistic trends of Germany and France in the beginning of the 20th century, including a Maurice Ravel piece from 1903 representing a synthesis of French impressionism and Javanese gamelan music. Info: 7:30 p.m., DeHaan Center, 1400 E. Hanna Ave., free, (317) 788-2135.
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Number, out of 10, of adults ages 18-24 in the U.S. who couldn’t find Iraq on a map in a recent poll for National Geographic. — Roper