Kimiko Martinez features by Kimiko Martinez

INDIANALIVING SECTION E

[INSIDE]

Clean living run amok

Mandated sanitary wipes for carts? Our fear factor has gone overboard, columnist Lori Borgman says. [E2]

D THE INDIANAPOLIS STAR D MONDAY, MARCH 26, 2007 D INDYSTAR.COM/LIVING

3RD

FRANK ESPICH and JANET SCHNEIDER / Star photo illustration

By Kimiko Martinez

kimiko.martinez@indystar.com

arcey Cram and Ryan Flynn live together, but have slept separately for two years. Nothing’s wrong, thank you. The Ingalls couple is among many with separate sleeping accommodations under the same roof. “At first I was a little put off,” said Cram, 28. “Then I realized, it’s nice to have that space to myself.” While some might view this as odd, it’s a trend that’s apparently on the upswing. While local builders say they haven’t had many requests for dual master bedrooms, according to the National Association of Home Builders, more than 60 percent of custom houses will have them by 2015. Despite outsiders’ perception that something must be wrong with the relationship, many couples find the arrangement benefits both parties and can even strengthen the bonds of intimacy. They sleep apart, despite the lingering stigma, because one person snores, or one’s a night owl, or one tosses and turns and hogs the covers — any number of reasons, in fact, beyond marital troubles.

1 JUST

MINUTE ASST. MANAGING EDITOR/FEATURES: Jacqueline Thomas FEATURES PHONE: 317.444.6267

Couples who sleep apart say their relationships are just fine, thank you — maybe even better than most Cram, for one, thinks that separate bedrooms have helped her relationship. “We tend to set aside more ‘us’ time than we did before,” she said. Historically, and in many societies, keeping separate quarters is the norm. Current ideals, though, seem to equate love and marriage with a shared bed. The age-old assumption that something must be wrong if a couple is sleeping apart is inaccurate, say couples who do so. Empty-nesters Rick and Nancy Miller of Greenwood moved into separate bedrooms a year ago. “We’ve been together for 38 years, so we pretty much know that we love each other,” said Nancy. “But he’s a snorer. And I’m going through menopause and can’t sleep anyway. Even when I was taking a sleeping pill, he was still waking me up . . . I was just tired all the time.” A 2002 National Sleep Foundation (NSF) Sleep in America poll found that 74 percent of American adults are experiencing a sleeping problem

MEATLESS APPEAL An Indianapolis software engineer is in the running for the title of North America’s Sexiest Vegetarian. The contest, sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has narrowed a field of more than 700 entrants to 10 men and 10 women. Brad Loveall, a 32-year-old Indiana native, told PETA he was inspired to forgo animal products after reading the 1975 book “Animal Liberation,” which describes how still-conscious animals in factory farms are mutilated, shoved into crates and slaughtered. Check him out and vote for your favorite at www.goveg.com/ f-sexyveg07-vote.asp. — Kelly Kendall

James Munos, who works a late shift, sometimes crashes on the couch when he gets home.

Kimberly Munos says being married but sleeping separately is “kind of like the best of both worlds.”

HOPING FOR THE BIG TIME Indianapolis filmmaker Leon Mallory is vying for a spot on a reality TV show that could lead to a $1 million development deal at DreamWorks studio. Airing this spring on Fox, “On the Lot” will feature 16 undiscovered filmmakers competing for the support of the show’s viewers. Mallory, 24, Westside, has a short film online called “Twin Lost.” Visit http://films.the lot.com/films/22197. — Courtenay Edelhart

a few nights a week or more, and more than one in three is so sleepy during the day that it interferes with daily activities. Which may be why many people are opting to get a decent night’s sleep in a separate room, rather than inadequate sleep next to a loved one. “At this point in our life,” Miller said, “we have a nice home and we just want to be comfortable. It doesn’t affect anything else about our married life.” It doesn’t say anything about the state of the marriage, either, said intimacy expert Patty Brisben. “I don’t think that there’s a problem if it doesn’t bother either party,” said Brisben, founder and CEO of Pure Romance Inc., in Cincinnati. “They have to communicate and understand why this is happening — snoring, erratic sleep patterns, whatever reason.” Another assumption is that the so-called flame has gone out. Another misconception, said Brisben. “When couples do sleep in a sep-

arate bedroom, they have to pay closer attention to their relationship than couples who are sleeping together,” she said. “You have to create nights to spend together. You do have to pay attention to each other’s needs and wants so that you still have that time together.” Kimberly Munos doesn’t share a bed very often with her husband, James Munos, who works a late shift and doesn’t get home until 4 a.m. He gets the bed while she’s at work during the day. Sometimes, he crashes on a comfortable couch the Westside couple invested in. “As far as affecting our sex life, it really doesn’t at all,” said Kimberly. “We do it when we get the chance to. And it’s quality when we do do it. I think it helps us take advantage of that time (we have together) on the weekends,” she said. “When we’re around each other, we’re holding hands, always finding ways to make physical contact with each other.” People find their sleeping arrangement “bizarre,” she said, but it works. “Maybe it’s an ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ kind of thing,” she said. “It’s kind of like the best of both worlds — you’re married, but you get your freedom to do what you want.” And, more importantly, a good night’s sleep. ✭ Call Kimiko Martinez at (317) 444-6305.

[GOIN’ ON TODAY] BLEND OF ELEMENTS Listen to a concert and get a history lesson at the same time from the New Century String Quartet. The classical music group explores the artistic trends of Germany and France in the beginning of the 20th century, including a Maurice Ravel piece from 1903 representing a synthesis of French impressionism and Javanese gamelan music. Info: 7:30 p.m., DeHaan Center, 1400 E. Hanna Ave., free, (317) 788-2135.

Number, out of 10, of adults ages 18-24 in the U.S. who couldn’t find Iraq on a map in a recent poll for National Geographic. — Roper

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9.14.06 THIS WEEK IN INDY:

SQUEEZE ORANJE INTO YOUR TO-DO LIST SAT • PG. 76

Getting down to the heart of Indy’s soul. PAGE 24

TRY YOUR LUCK AT IRISH FEST OR FIESTA ON THE MALL SAT • PG. 60

TRAVEL TO I.U. AND GET A LESSON ON SOUL FROM THE GODFATHER HIMSELF TUE • PG. 44

INDEPTH

Thursday, September 14, 2006 INtake

I By Kimiko Martinez

kimiko.martinez@intakeweekly.com

A number of notable Naptown residents share their thoughts on the meaning of soul and where you can find it in Indianapolis.

t seems we’re surrounded by soul these days. We’ve got soul music, soul food, Soul Sessions and more. But what does it all mean? INtake went soul searching and asked people from around the city — pastors, poets, psychics and even politicians (which, contrary to popular belief, are not soul-less) — what soul means to them. And furthermore, where is Indy’s soul? Here’s what they said.

INtake model Nicole Bullock; Shoes provided by Red Rose Vintage Clothing, 834 E. 64th St.; Photo by Michelle Pemberton / INtake.

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Enoch DeMar and Kyle Hodges

SOUL

Indy’s soulful past

Old Soul Entertainment, DJ, co-creator of Soul Sessions and Manager at Indy CD & Vinyl, DJ Twin Peaks Soul to Enoch DeMar and Kyle Hodges is about finding what you love and what makes you click. For both, it had a lot to do with music. For Hodges, seeking out and discovering new music feeds his passion. A few years ago he began exploring old soul and funk, which he regularly spins in deejay sets with his twin brother Cameron. For DeMar, who began Old Soul Entertainment, music was a way of life, something that he grew up with and that was practically integrated in his genetic makeup. In creating Soul Sessions, he wanted to create an atmosphere that supported the type of exploration that he and Hodges both actively engage in — to present new (and very old) sounds to the ears of those who otherwise might not have that exposure. It’s an opportunity not only to learn, but to relax, open your mind and perhaps hear or find something new that feeds your own soul. Enoch DeMar: Indy has a huge musical history — Indiana Avenue, Madame Walker, (1960s Indianapolis band) the Highlighters. Indiana Avenue was torn down to build a college. They put culture aside to make way for education. But now it’s coming back around, full circle. People are seeking this cultural education. But it’s very hard to get consistent support for it. We can host and maintain how many pro sports teams, but we can’t maintain how many professional artists? You talk to older black people and they’ll say, “Yeah, I had the old Highlighters records, I had this, I had that.” Kyle Hodges: Music is a drumbeat, it’s a heart.

Soul Searching for that “Naptown” sound, by Jason Yoder, of www.indiana45s.com The Naptown sound was born in the upbeat melodies and vocal harmonies of doo-wop groups like the Counts, the Monograms, the Four Sounds and the Drakes. Many of these groups were inspired by the success of the Spaniels, a Gary, Ind., group whose classic “Goodnight, Sweetheart, Goodnight” can still be heard on the radio today. Indianapolis native Herb Miller took his inspiration from Detroit when he launched Naptown’s answer to Motown: Lamp Records. Looking to hear Their first release, the Vansome funky soul? guard’s “Somebody Please,” was Check out DJ a slow groover that bridged Twin Peaks at doo-wop and a new sound. It ORANJE. was an instant hit thanks to loWhen: 8 p.m. to cal radio play by WTLC DJ “Spider” Harrison, spreading across 3 a.m. Sept. 16. the Midwest. The rights to Where: 1440 N. “Somebody Please” were sold Meridian St. to Whiz Records, and Miller Cost: $15 in adstruck a mighty deal with Atlanvance, $20 day tic records. Flush with revenue, of. Lamp Records went on to reInfo: www. lease numerous other recordings oranjeindy.com. by the Vanguards as well as fledgling local bands like the Pearls, Ebony Rhythm Band, Funder Cooper and the Words of Wisdom. Neither Miller nor the Vanguards were ever able to match “Somebody Please” and Lamp Records only lasted a few years, but its success inspired other local labels: Blue Eagle, Knaptown, Lulu and Look-out. Naptown’s jazz scene disintegrated with the demolition of many clubs along Indiana Avenue, but soul music continued to thrive. New clubs like the Surf Side, the 20 Grand Club and the Demonstrators Club sprang up on the Near Northside. Bands like the Highlighters, the Presidents and the Fabulous Moonlighters played to packed houses where afros and platform shoes filled the dance floors. The spirit of entrepreneurial record labels continued into the ’80s when Ricky Clark helped launch Indy and Circle City Records where groups like Klas, the Circle City Band and others had local disco hits. And how could we forget that 25-mile stretch of Interstate 65 renamed “Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds Highway.” Naptown never lost its soul.

Listen to your soul

Tom Klubens / For INtake

Spin doctors: DJs Enoch DeMar, 25, and Kyle Hodges, 31, both of Indy. ED: I was born into music. I eat it, think it, live it. Some people have to go out and search for it. But this is what I’ve been listening to my whole life. KH: See, now I’m the total opposite. I wasn’t raised on music. Not at all. I heard a lot of really bad ’80s rock, thanks to my older brother. But now I perpetually just search. I need new stuff all the time.

Soul is whatever brings light to you. For some people it’s really abstract art. It’s that one thing that’s making you tick. It’s not the TV. It’s not a sports team. Visit museums instead of watching TV. If you’re gonna TiVo it anyway, get out and do something. It’s what’s inside of you. If you don’t like what you see, go out and search for it.

Top 5 Soulful Records of the ’60s 1. Vanguards – “Somebody Please / I Can’t Use You Girl” (Whiz #612)

2. Highlighters – “Funky 16 Corners Part 1 / Funky 16 Corners Part II” (Three Diamonds #001)

3. Billy Ball and the Upsetters w/ Roosevelt Matthews – “Tighten Up Tighter / You Got Me Diggin’ You” (King #6173)

4. Rhythm Machine – “The Kick Part 1 / The Kick Part 2” (Lulu #9706)

5. Allison and Calvin Turner – “It’s Over Between Us / What Is This” (Lulu #9702)

INDEPTH

Thursday, September 14, 2006 INtake

Moving On… to a better you!, LLC

DREAM, CHANGE, FOCUS,

SOUL Cynthia Layne Vocalist When Cynthia Layne opens her mouth, you don’t just hear it, you feel it. And as a seasoned vocalist, that’s her aim. Performing frequently at such venues as The Jazz Kitchen, Savoy and The Red Room, Layne’s sound encompasses a mixture of jazz, R&B and funk. As a singer, the term “soul” is about emotion and feelings. Soul is “sparking emotion.” Singing is about telling a story, and your own interpretation of it comes out in the way you sing it. And when people can actually feel what you are singing about, then you are singing from your soul. You may have heard people say “sing it from your heart and soul” or “that person sings with so much soul.” Soul is when you can feel it and can make others feel what you are feeling by sparking an emotion in them. And what is so great is that soul music is a universal language that people of all races and backgrounds understand. As far as Indy’s soul goes, I think there are a lot of musicians who write all types of great music with a lot of soul. They, like me, are playing in small clubs all around town putting their own music out there to be heard.

LOVE YOUR LIFE!

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TICKETS ON SALE FRIDAY AT NOON

Soul Sessions

Tom Klubens / For INtake

What it is: A laid-back event, with a vibe somewhere between a house party, a lounge and a dance club. Art and music are the highlights, exposing lesser known artists (both visual and musical) to the Indy scene. Where it is: Therapy Nightclub & Lounge, 605 E. Market St. When it is: 9 p.m. Oct. 5. Cost: Cover varies. Info: www.oldsoulent.com.

Bart Peterson

OCTOBER 23

7:30pm

CLOWES MEMORIAL HALL

BUY TICKETS AT THE CLOWES MEMORIAL HALL BOX OFFICE, ALL TICKETMASTER TICKET CENTERS, CHARGE BY PHONE 317.239.5151 OR ONLINE AT TICKETMASTER.COM

PRODUCED BY EVENT TIME AND DATE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. TICKETS SUBJECT TO APPLICABLE SERVICE CHARGES.

Indianapolis Mayor When posing a question like, “Where is Indy’s soul?” one would hope that the city’s head government official would have an answer. Mayor Bart Peterson did. Because what’s a city without its people? Soul is the essence of someone or some thing. It is the “thing” about a person (or a city) that is entirely unique. No one can copy it and no one can steal it. You can only lose it by selling it or giving it away. It may sound cliché, but there is no doubt the soul of our city lies within our residents. Indianapolis has accomplished some remarkable things over the last 40 years because of the strength, compassion and hard work of its people. Indianapolis Star file photo

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TIRED OF LOUSY SERVICE?

What is soul?

Answered by Tasha Jones for REFLECTIONS iNK by LaTasha Boyd Jones

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As featured in The Indianapolis Star, The New York Times, Business Week, Real Simple and on WISH TV News 8, WIBC AM 1040, CNN, The Today Show, The Early Show.

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Tasha Jones

Author of “You Don’t Know the Half . . . The Liberation of L. B. Jones” In her bio, Tasha Jones — poet, artist and educator — described her work as soul-healing. “My artistry is a dose of medicine — natural remedies given to the public to heal — not provide temporary relief — you know, relieve the pain for up to eight hours, maybe 12. Not my music, not my words they are meant to heal, to give strength and free . . .” INtake file photo

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Thursday, September 14, 2006 INtake

The Glass Chimney

Dear Patrons, Due to the positive response to our May Anniversary Special we will be offering the same 4 course dinner for the duration of road construction on Old Meridian Street in front of The Glass Chimney.

SOUL

4 Course Dinner Special $31.00

This special dinner will be offered every evening and will begin on

Tuesday, September 5th Reservations are encouraged.

Glass Chimney 317-844-0921

Shrimp & Lobster Bisque Special Salad Roasted Filet of Beef

with wild mushroom madeira sauce

or Fresh Atlantic Salmon Tiramisu with Kahlua

Dinners served with fresh vegetables, rice or potato and bread & butter. Beverages, tax & gratuity not included.

12901 Old Meridian St. Carmel, IN.

9thAnnual CarmelInternational ArtsFestival Saturday,September23 from10am-8pm Sunday,September24 from11am-5pm

pottery.sculpture jewelry.glass,oilpainting photography,mixedmedia over125juriedartists Liveentertainment! Foodvendors! Children’s ArtArea!

NewLocation: CarmelArtsandDesign DistrictonMainStreet inOldTownCarmel

www.carmelartsfestival.org

Abdul in the Mornings Morning Show Host, NewsTalk 1430, WXNT As the morning show host of an AM radio talk show on a station that also broadcasts shows by the likes of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly, Abdul of Abdul in the Mornings has to have some pretty strong opinions of his own. In his eyes, soul can never be broken. “Soul,” to me, is what you are that others can’t see but can feel. It’s the essence of who you are and what gives you your spark. Sometimes it can

Michelle Pemberton / INtake

take a hit, but never be broken by anyone but you. “Indy’s soul” is in its neighborhoods. Because of my job, I get to see a lot of Indianapolis and the surrounding area. Whether it’s an older neighborhood that went through some rough times and is making a comeback or a new subdivision on the Northwestside, you can get a good feel for Indy’s soul. People may come and go, but neighborhoods (like souls) are forever.

Kate Chaplin Author of “The Belief Test” Seems a lot of people in their 20s and 30s are searching for answers. In an increasingly fractured society, it’s hard to know what to believe. So Kate Chaplin, an author and filmmaker, wrote “The Belief Test” to help people find out who they are, in a society that is trying to tell you who you should be. The soul is the core of one’s self, but is also the portal to the connectedness of all beings. I think of the soul like a great wheel. Each of us is a spoke connected not only to the rim but the hub of the great wheel. Some of us are closer to the rim as it constantly beats into the ground — bills to pay, boss getting you down, repetitively seeing the world as pushing you into the ground, never getting ahead. Others of us are closer to the hub — the center of not only ourselves but the center of all humanity. It is in that center, the hub of the soul, where we tap into the moral and emotional nature of human beings. It’s there that we have the ability to reach out and help others and seek out change for a better tomorrow, for we all are connected to the same hub. Indy’s soul is in its people. From our local sports heroes on the field to our children on the playground; the artists and musicians, who share their soul with the world through their craft, to the monuments that make up our city’s circle center, allowing us not to forget the souls who came before us. The past, present and future are in the souls of the people of Indy. The question is: Are we closer to the rim or to the hub?

What do YOU believe?

If you’re looking for answers to life’s questions, check out “The Belief Test,” a 285-question book by Indianapolis author Kate Chaplin that explores life, love, politics and religion. Cost: $5.30 for download, $11.99 for print at www.lulu.com/content/295901.

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Alpha Garrett Indiana Black Expo’s communications director For many, the Indiana Black Expo breathes life and soul into Indianapolis’ African-American community by providing programs and activities — ranging from sponsoring scholarships, putting on the annual Summer Celebration, Coca-Cola Circle City Classic, the Youth Video Institute and We Can Feed the Hungry. Soul, to me, is the connector for your heart, spirit and mind. The support (and result) for the choices I make, my experiences and the guide for love. Where is Indy’s soul? In the people.

Rev. David Hampton Pastor at Zion Hope Baptist Church They say a pastor’s job is to save souls. So who better to ask than someone whose business it is to guide people toward salvation? Soul, in a cultural context, is a life force that is inherent in all people, although usually associated with African-Americans. To me, it is a natural connection with God, people and the arts. Indy’s soul can be found mostly in churches to me.

NATIONAL SINGLES WEEK!

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@ My Girlfriends Kitchen

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Marilene Isaacs

Intuitive counselor, healer and spiritual teacher, Center of Peace Marilene Isaacs deals with souls everyday. Some we can see, others we can’t — like those of loved ones and the spirits of those who’ve passed. But Isaacs sees, hears, feels it all. Even from pets. While some might call her a psychic, she prefers the term intuitive counselor or spiritual teacher. It’s a gift she’s had for several lifetimes. And when people are searching — really seeking after their soul’s destiny, questioning life’s direction and such — they come to her Nora home, the Center of Peace, for guidance. Soul to me is essence; everything else is an outward show. Indiana, if you break it down, is: In Diana — in the protection of the goddess Diana, who rules birth and forests, animals and fecundity. Indiana, at one time, was 85 percent forested. When it comes to our city, Indianapolis is

laid out on sacred geometry. We’re second only to Washington, D.C., when it comes to war memorials. And if you look at them, they’re really more like temples. We have the Scottish Rite Cathedral, one of very few cathedrals in the United States. And then there’s location. If you look at the map, we ARE the crossroads; we’re the heart of the soul of the country. To me, Indy is the embodiment of that part of the soul that has to do with nurturing the soul and protection and that kind of thing. This is going to be a place that really becomes the heart and soul of the nation, because of the location and also the vibrations that are here. It’s a very spiritual vibration. When the Earth changes come — and the end times are here, not hell and brimstone like in the Bible, but they are here — this is going to be one of those safe places.

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Extra Phone Hours 1-800-874-7317 x275 • www.AAA.com Carmel Avon Braeburn Allisonville 846-7522 272-5137 899-5172 257-8106 Speedway College Park Greenwood Noblesville 297-3527 875-5106 882-1533 773-8235

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The Art Institute of Indianapolis is licensed by the Indiana Commission on Proprietary Education, 302 W. Washington St., Rm E201, Indianapolis, IN 46204. AC-0080 ©2006 The Art Institutes International, Inc.® 11881 06/06 INtake and Indianapolis Star file photos

Depression

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INtake

Sept. 9-15, 2004

About STORY SEARCH

September 9, 2004

Depression Millions suffer from a serious mental illness that can be treated but never really goes away. BY KIMIKO L. MARTINEZ kimiko.martinez@indystar.com Editor's note: Due to the sensitivity of the story, some last names have been withheld. All Maureen could think about was how to make it stop.

Ongoing battle: Maureen's depression had taken her to the point of attempting suicide. It's

Standing on the edge of her apartment complex's pool, she

been more than three years,

stared at the clear water and longed for its peaceful serenity.

and though she takes

She'd been through dark periods before, but things were spiraling out of control.

antidepressants, she still struggles with her condition. Depression affects more than

Underwater, she could make it all disappear: She could

19 million Americans each year.

escape the loneliness of a new city without any friends to turn

-- Arnel Reynon / INtake

to. She could bury the hurt and loss of a recent breakup and forget the stress of losing her job. If she could just jump in,

IN THIS ISSUE COVER STORY

Art-mart smart OUT & ABOUT

Bone appétit FOOD & DRINK

Edible odyssey TREND SETTER

Nix the tux INDY FACES

maybe it would all just go away.

CLINICAL DEPRESSION

Your time to remember

"My world was crashing around me, and I didn't know what to

Symptoms

FEATURE STORY

• Persistent sad, anxious or

YOUR SPACE

"empty" mood

Antique chic

do," Maureen said. "Things were in such turmoil. I just wanted peace." Suicidal thoughts were nothing new to Maureen. The 28-year-old had been battling depression since high school.

• Sleeping too much or too little,

She sought treatment while in college, but a particularly

middle of the night or early

severe severe episode forced her to take time off from

morning waking

medical school. • Reduced appetite and weight For a while, though, it seemed things were getting better. After trying several different medications, she'd finally found one that seemed to work for her. But within a few months of

loss, or increased appetite and weight gain

moving to Indianapolis for a new job, things started to

• Loss of pleasure and interest in

unravel again.

activities once enjoyed, including

"I needed to do something because I couldn't handle all this," said Maureen, now 34. "I started to think of ways that I could kill myself. I was so out of it, though, it was really more like fantasizing wanting to do it, but never really getting there." But here she was, standing beside the pool ready to drown

sex • Restlessness, irritability • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment

Depression

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Class clown LOCAL EATS

Dog-gone good food, ambience LIVE MUSIC

Top 10 live DARNELL MORRIS-COMPTON

Think locally -- act globally ARTICLE TOOLS Email this Print this STORY TEXT Font: Verdana Size: 11

2/25/2009 10:59 AM

Depression

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herself.

(such as chronic pain or

She took a deep breath and walked in.

digestive disorders)

For some reason, though, she just couldn't do it.

• Difficulty concentrating,

Stepping out of the pool, she thought the worst was over. But when she got back to her apartment, she couldn't shake the thought to finish the task. She began grabbing handfuls of pills, leftover medications that she'd never used, and downed them with alcohol. "I felt like I wanted to die, but I think I knew subconsciously that the pills weren't going to kill me," Maureen said. "Even though I think I knew I wasn't going to overdose, I prayed it would kill me." It didn't.

remembering or making decisions • Fatigue or loss of energy • Feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless • Thoughts of suicide or death Causes Many things can contribute to clinical depression. For some

In what could have been her last moments, she called her

people, a number of factors

boyfriend and told him what she'd done. Before she knew it,

seem to be involved, while for

paramedics were at her door.

others a single factor can cause the illness. Oftentimes, people

ROCK BOTTOM

become depressed for no

It has been six years since Maureen tried to kill herself. And

apparent reason.

for 3 1/2 years, she has lived in a pit of isolation, depression and darkness. "This last year and a half has been a slow recovery," she said. There are still days when Maureen can't do anything. She can't pay bills, can't run to the store, can't get out of bed. Up until six months ago, she was still dealing with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.

Biological -- People with depression typically have too little or too much of certain brain chemicals, called neurotransmitters. Changes in these brain chemicals may cause or contribute to clinical depression.

It's all part of the daily struggle of fighting a disease that attacks the brain instead of the body. "(The suicidal thoughts) were familiar to me," Maureen said. "But I knew not to act on them. I knew they were part of the disease." It's a disease that most people don't understand, though.

Cognitive -- People with negative thinking patterns and low self-esteem are more likely to develop clinical depression. Gender -- Women experience clinical depression at a rate that

"They think you have control over it," Maureen said. "When I

is nearly twice that of men.

told my family, they thought I could just snap out of it."

While the reasons for this are

Experts say that sentiment represents one of the most

still unclear, they may include

common misconceptions about the disease.

the hormonal changes women go

"It really is a medical condition; that's why people who are depressed respond to medications," said Gina Eckart, 36, a licensed mental health counselor at Wishard's Midtown Community Mental Health Center. She wishes more people could see it as a medical condition, "instead of a sign of weakness, that it's not something they can control," she said.

SHARED MISERY

through during menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth and menopause. Other reasons may include the stress caused by the multiple responsibilities that women have. Co-occurrence -- Clinical depression is more likely to

According to the National Mental Health Association, clinical

occur along with certain

depression is one of the most common forms of mental

illnesses, such as heart disease,

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illness, affecting more than 19 million Americans each year. But fewer than half of those suffering from the illness seek treatment, thinking the depression isn't serious, that they can treat it themselves, or believing that it's a personal weakness rather than a medical illness.

cancer, Parkinson's disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's disease and hormonal disorders. Medications -- Side effects of

Many times, people suffering from depression fault

some medications can bring

themselves, thinking they should be able to control it, Eckart

about depression.

said. That's how Maureen said she felt. "You feel stigmatized," she said. "You have depression. You're an outcast. It's really hard and you end up having a job that you feel like you should be able to do more, but you can't."

Genetic -- A family history of clinical depression increases the risk for developing the illness. Situational -- Difficult life events, including divorce, financial

The bright 34-year-old California native had managed to

problems or the death of a loved

"fake it" through high school and college, but her world came

one can contribute to clinical

crashing down the first time during medical school when the

depression.

stress of school mixed with sleep deprivation from beginning medical rotations proved too much. She dropped out of classes, sought counseling and, for more than a year, cycled through different medications.

TREATMENTS FOR CLINICAL DEPRESSION: • More than 80 percent of those who seek treatment for clinical

"I lost most of my friends because I couldn't go out with them

depression show improvement.

socially," she said. "So I felt really alone. It was a year of total darkness." According to Julie Szempruch, a clinical nurse specialist and director of acute care services for Midtown Community Mental Health Center, it's easy for things to quickly spiral out of control.

• Some of the most common treatments include antidepressant medication, psychotherapy or a combination of the two.

"They're not keeping up with daily life, so their finances are

• Choice of treatment depends

out of control and their relationships are out of control,"

on severity of the illness and the

Szempruch said.

pattern, and persistence.

That's when people start thinking about suicide as their only

• Early treatment is more

way out.

effective and helps prevent the

According to Anantha Shekhar, professor of psychiatry at Indiana University School of Medicine, suicides are a "fairly common occurrence and account for a fairly high number of deaths, especially for teenagers and the elderly." The International Association for Suicide Prevention, which sponsors World Suicide Prevention Day on Sept. 10, estimates that approximately 1 million people around the

likelihood of serious recurrences. • Depression must be treated by a physician or qualified mental health professional. Source: National Mental Health Association

world die from suicide each year, equaling one death every 40 seconds.

RELATED CONTENT Elaine Lockwood, who volunteers for a local crisis and suicide hotline, deals with depression every time she works a shift.

• Medication and suicide

"Some people have already overdosed or hurt themselves in some way," she said. "They're on the brink, they have no hope left, and our purpose at that point is that we are their last best hope."

OUT OF THE DARKNESS "When you've lived most of your life with depression, you don't know any different, and you think

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it's normal," Maureen said. "It's when you're not functioning that you start to think something is wrong." But she thinks she could have gotten treatment earlier if she'd known more about the disease, or if someone would have intervened. "Education is number one, so that people can begin to accept this as a medical condition," Szempruch said. "It's really not an individual problem, it's a family, a society. Sometimes in our society, we just want to mind our own business. But whatever way you can get involved, do it. Reach out and help them get the treatment." Besides meds and counseling, Maureen has found her depression support group extremely helpful. "It really became the mainstay of my life," she said. Though she usually had trouble leaving the house, she managed to get to the meetings one day each week. "It was my lifeline." Knowing other people have experienced the same type of emotional pain has helped her cope. Though Maureen is on disability, she has been actively seeking a part-time job and has been working temporary part-time data entry and receptionist jobs throughout the last year. But finding a job that offers the flexibility that allows her to stay healthy and keep her depression in check is difficult. "I know I can never again have my high-functioning job that I used to have," Maureen said. "I'm going to have to stay at this lower level functioning. And that's a big loss." But she continues to work at ways of taking care of herself and healing. Awareness of her triggers for depression helps maintain her recovery. Friends and family now know what signs to look for to prevent future episodes. "The key is finding as many ways to help yourself as you can," Maureen said. "You need a psychiatrist, you need a counselor, a support program. If you're religious, try to find a religious program to help you. By going to an alternative therapist I've really opened myself up to spirituality, which has helped me realize that maybe the things that have happened were for a purpose. The things I've achieved and haven't achieved, maybe that's OK."

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February 24, 2005 Feel like life is ticking away? Some adults are in a hurry to grow up -- others aren't. By Kimiko L. Martinez kimiko.martinez@intakeweekly.com Tears were trickling down Tiffany Brown's face. It was her 26th birthday. And as family and friends gathered around the dim light of birthday candles on a cake, while singing "Happy Birthday," Brown lost it. "I spent the first 22 years of my life with this mental checklist -- get out of college, get into my career," Brown said. "I graduated and then three years later, I'm still in the same job and not at all satisfied with that. That's really where I was on my birthday, thinking, 'In four years, I'm going to be 30. Oh my gosh.' " People who've long-since passed 30 roll their eyes when they think of a 26-year-old fretting about turning 30. But Brown

Make a wish: When Tiffany Brown turned 26, she realized she had only four years left to achieve her pre-30 goals. She, like many other 20-somethings, are feeling the effects of the quarter-life crisis, a term for the transition from adolescence to adulthood. -- Pond Thaiprasithiporn / INtake

isn't alone. "People at 22 can have the same panic about hitting 30 as people who are 29 because they feel they have to plan for it," said Alexandra Robbins, author of "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived." "The 20s are not the easy time that older people assume it is."

Related content â€˘ Feel like life is ticking away? â€˘ Solving the quarter-life crisis

At 26, Brown is facing the same issues that an entire generation of 20- and early 30-somethings are dealing with. It's been dubbed the "quarter-life crisis." You're not the only one As the transition to adulthood becomes increasingly tumultuous, it's created a slew of new identity issues and inner turmoil that some liken to a midlife crisis. According to many of the new quarter-life crisis books, making the leap from adolescence to adulthood has become more complicated and stressful than it was for, say, our parents' generation. "I would venture to say that the quarter-life crisis -- the response to reaching the transition between adolescence and adulthood -- is one of the biggest (life transitions)," Robbins said. "We saw our parents' generation suffer through careers

What is the quarter-life crisis? We asked the authors of several recent quarter-life crisis books to explain exactly what the quarter-life crisis is and how it affects 20- and 30-somethings. Abby Wilner, co-author of 'Quarterlife Crisis': The quarter-life crisis has always existed as long as recent graduates have transitioned from school to

IN THIS ISSUE cover story Are you on the hot list? Adventure Sweeping the nation indy faces Give her props indy faces Holly jolly holiday work life Working up a sweat style For those about to rock ... food & drink Go cold turkey indy places Last call live music Weave a metal web live music Top 10 Live ARTICLE TOOLS Email this Print this STORY TEXT Font: Verdana Size: 11

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that didn't satisfy them and a 50 percent divorce rate, and we do not want to make the same mistakes. Here, the older adults are calling us lazy and that we're stuck in an extended adolescence simply because we're not settling down when they did." Robbins points out that in addition to a tougher job market, the skyrocketing cost of tuition and the weight of student loans after graduation can make it difficult for young adults to "find their footing." "We can't afford the things that our parents were able to afford right out of college," Robbins said. "And when we're not able to afford them, other generations are quick to brand us as failures. It's ridiculous that older people believe that as soon as we turn our tassels on graduation day, we're equipped to make all those decisions associated with adulthood." Experts say there are major societal forces that are making this generations' coming of age experience more difficult than in the past. "I think, for women, that these expectations are an unfortunate fallout from the successes of the feminist movement," said Victoria Dickerson, clinical psychologist and co-author of "Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do: Breaking the Rules to Get What You Want in Love, Life and Work." "In the '60s, women couldn't easily be as independent as they are now asked to be, so what feminism created was wonderful options for women -- options that are too often experienced as expectations," she said. "The legacy of feminism has morphed from 'women can do anything' to 'women have to do everything.' " According to Dickerson, women are increasingly pressured to become the Supermom who juggles motherhood, a meaningful career, being the perfect wife and having a great circle of friends, all while maintaining that size 6 physique. And all by age 30. "And, mostly," Dickerson said, "young women aren't prepared to do all of those things." Great expectations Women aren't the only ones dealing with unrealistic expectations. The American dream of hard work leading to success combined with the influence of the Internet, drive-thrus and all the other developments that have contributed to an instant gratification society, has made for a generation of young adults who not only want it all, but expect it all, and expect it all now. "We have a sense of entitlement," said Christine Hassler, author of the upcoming book "20-Something, 20-Everything: A Young Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction During Her

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the working world, only the experience today is more significant, and often more turbulent than in the past. Today, we are faced with a multitude of career options, for which we do not feel prepared. Christine Hassler, author of '20-Something, 20-Everything': Symptoms of the quarter-life crisis include a general sense of angst, constantly competing against other people, not liking who you are or where you are in life, anxiety, feeling unmotivated and kind of lazy, but feeling totally stressed out, overwhelmed and overextended, and not being able to do it all. Alexandra Robbins, author of 'Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis': I define the quarter-life crisis as the response to reaching the transition between young adulthood and adulthood . . . and can involve anything from simple self-doubt to clinical depression. It's generally a time of uncertainty, instability and insecurity, and it's often accompanied by a fear of failure, a feeling of pressure to meet others' expectations, waffling over having to make decisions, a tendency to compare yourself to others and a sense that you don't know what you want. Victoria Dickerson, co-author of 'Who Cares What You're Supposed to Do?': I think the transition to adulthood and all the responsibilities that entails has always been difficult, as

Quarter-Life Crisis."

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"It's this stupid myth of having it all, which I absolutely hate. What does having it all mean to you? What is having everything?" Advertising and TV shows seem to tout the perfect life as having a job you absolutely love and making tons of money doing, a hot spouse who worships the ground you walk on, a high-priced house in the hills (or swanky downtown loft), and maybe those 2.5 kids and a pet or two.

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most transitions are, but I think at this particular juncture in our history, the young adult experiences a plethora of expectations that up-the-ante, so to speak, making it even more difficult to navigate this time in life.

It's no wonder 20- and 30-somethings are driving themselves crazy. Most post-grads feel lucky to have even found a job and to be able to pay most of their bills. But the dream of owning a home and making the big bucks are still too far down the line to even imagine, since most of that revolves around moving up. Many 20-somethings early in their careers are finding it hard to deal with that sense of stagnancy that comes after putting in long hours and not seeing the rewards. All through school you learn to work hard, get the grade and move up to the next level. But it doesn't always work that way in the "real world." Brown said she has high expectations for career growth but hasn't seen the upward mobility she'd like. "People say this generation is much more demanding in terms of acceleration in our careers," Brown said. "We want to do in three years what it took others 10 years to do. When (an employer says) it's going to take five or 10 years to move up and be where you want to be, that kind of blows your plans." Opportunity knocks Like Brown, Melvin Jackson II wants more opportunities. As a communications coordinator for USA Track & Field, with former positions with the NFL and an NBA minor-league team, Jackson's career revolves around sports. But at 31, even though he's managed to move up within his field, he's anxious to advance faster. Looking at peers from college and grad school, he sees colleagues who have become managers, directors and news anchors, and others who have even started their own businesses and are now president/CEOs. And that's a level where Jackson feels he should be, too. "I don't think I should be at that level, I know I should be at that level," Jackson said. "I could be at that level now." But opportunities just aren't forthcoming. And Jackson partly blames the downsizing trend for his not being able to excel as quickly as he'd like. "The three- and five-year plans have to be readjusted," he said. "It's just the way the economy is, I guess."

FAST FACTS • Parents provide, on average, $38,000 in material assistance, or about $2,200 for every year between ages 18 and 34 -- considerably more than in the past. • Since the 1970s, there has been a 50 percent increase in the number of youths living at home, which alone has led to a 19 percent increase in parental time and money contributions. • Although slightly more than half of men and nearly two-thirds of women have left their parents' homes by age 22, 16 percent of both returned home at some point before age 35. • Among youth aged 18 to 24 in 1973, 1985 and 1997, earnings in 1997 were the lowest of all three time periods. • Thirty percent of young adults aged 18 and 24 were living below the poverty line in 2000, a rate about double that of 25- to 34-year-olds, and triple that of middle-aged adults (35 to 64). • People hold an average of 8.6 jobs between the ages of 18 and 32. • More than 40 percent of college graduates now leave their campuses owing more than $20,000 in student loans. Among those earning

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Having a twin sister who's a medical doctor and about to complete a three-year fellowship in gastroenterology doesn't help. "When I think about where she is within her career, as well as the opportunities for quick advancement once she finishes her fellowship next year," Jackson said, "it gives me more incentive to aggressively crack the upper management ranks." Sense of purpose When parents, teachers, coaches and just about every other authority figure told us we could do anything we wanted if we worked hard enough, we believed them. So when it comes time to choose a career path, many young adults have this ideal of somehow fusing work with what they love -- be it playing in a rock band, writing poetry or shopping. "How much time is too much time to be spending doing something you don't love?" questioned Stevi Stoesz, who runs her own marketing/public relations/special events company called Blue Moon. "Thirty seconds? Ten years? A

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doctoral degrees, more than 60 percent leave with more than $30,000 in student-loan debt. The State Public Interest Research Groups' Higher Education Project reports that 39 percent of student borrowers leave academia with unmanageable debt (loan payments in excess of 8 percent of monthly income are considered unmanageable). â€˘ Student loan debt has nearly doubled over the past eight years to $16,928. Sources: MacArthur Foundation's Network on Transitions to Adulthood and Bureau of Labor Statistics

nanosecond. You spend too much time doing it. If you don't love it, that's a long life of hating something." After years of climbing the corporate ladder at City Market, Stoesz finally made it to the top and hated it. Though she loved where she worked, the people she worked with and the positions she'd held along the way, landing the executive director position, just wasn't what she wanted. "Within days of holding that top executive position, I knew I wouldn't be there long," Stoesz said. But there was nowhere else to go. At 31, she was already at the top. Taking mental stock of her talents and abilities, Stoesz decided to venture out on her own and opened Blue Moon Marketing in February 2001. Like Stoesz, Sang Kwon had a similar experience of working at a place he loved but in a job he just couldn't see himself doing for the next 30 years. As a clinical capacity planner at Eli Lilly, doing clinical trial data analysis and database design, Kwon spent most of his time at work behind a computer in a cubicle. While renovating his second home, Kwon read a profile about dentists and realized that was what he wanted to do. "What I really needed to do in life was work with my hands . . . specifically with power tools," said Kwon, 31. "It felt like a natural fit to me." He continued to work full-time while completing the 12 credit hours of prerequisites he needed for dental school. He read the Kaplan entrance exam book cover-to-cover to prepare for the Dental Admission Test. "It had been nearly nine years since I touched an organic or general chemistry course," Kwon said. "But somehow, I knew that I had to become a dentist. And after completing my first semester of dental school, I absolutely know that I made the right choice. It's nice to not only feel like that's what you want to do, but you have an aptitude for it." Passions and priorities Both Stoesz and Kwon found their passions, though, after years of working in jobs that helped clarify what they wanted out of life. Many 20-somethings are disappointed when, shortly after college, they haven't found that passion yet -- or when they realize they may not be able to make a living doing some of the things they love.

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Though Stoesz hit her career transition period right around 30, she said the challenge of searching for passion and purpose didn't end when she started her own company. "As much as I love what I do, it's still not my ideal, perfect job," said Stoesz, now 36. Her innate curiosity and love for animals has her itching for new experiences and ways to apply her skills. Though she dreams of running a doggie daycare or something similar, Stoesz doesn't plan on changing careers anytime soon. "I'm beyond taking a job that isn't the right fit. It needs to be something that will stir my soul." Experts say that mentality, as great as it is for those who can find the right fit, can create unrealistic expectations for those still trying to figure out careers, passions and life paths. "There are big misconceptions about the idea of purpose and passion," Hassler said. "What if your purpose is to be a mom, or to make someone smile everyday? It doesn't have to be to cure cancer." Abby Milner, who co-authored "Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Your Twenties" with Robbins, the book that popularized the term and brought the quarter-life crisis to light, said 20-somethings need a backup plan. "I do think that it's important for 20-somethings to realize that they may never be able to make a living out of their 'passion,' " Milner said. But that's not to say your passion can't still be a part of your life, Milner said. It may just have to be in the form of hobbies or volunteer work. Flying solo Though Jackson is another one of those lucky few who seems to have found a way to mesh what he loves with what he does, the nature of his job -- frequent travel and the necessity of moving cities to move up in the field -- has made maintaining a relationship practically impossible. To make matters worse, he tends to feel like he's behind in the game here in Indianapolis, after having lived in big cities like Philadelphia and New York. "I hate to say it, but that mentality seems to be the opposite here compared to the East Coast," Jackson said. "It seems like too many people here are in a rush, at 22 years old, to be married with kids. Here, people look at me and say, 'You're 31, not married? No kids? You should have had one or the other by now.' " He's got the job and the house, but Jackson said relationships aren't even really on the radar right now. "Finding the right person is really hard because of constant travel for work and to see my family on the East Coast," he said. "You try the long-distance relationship, but it doesn't work." Brown said she had a great time dating and making friends a year ago, but uncertainty about what her next career move may be and where she might end up have put things on hold. After reading the recent hit relationship advice book "He's Just Not That into You," Brown said her perspective changed. "It really opened my eyes about relationships," she said. "Like, don't waste your time. Right now, I have no relative idea of when I'd want to be dating again or seriously involved. I feel a lot less pressure as a result of that book." She also doesn't want to be one of those people who makes dating a priority simply so she can be married by 30. "My aunt got married by 30, just because it was on the checklist of things to do," said Brown, whose aunt is now divorced. "Don't be making the wrong decisions just because you have a checklist." Look before you leap

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Though it may seem like many in the Midwest are bucking the trend, nationally, people are waiting longer to get married, which "Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis" author Robbins said is healthy. Addressing those key identity issues before making the marriage leap can be key to making the relationship stick, experts say. "I think that taking our time to confront our identity issues now is a good thing, because our parents jumped into those things and only now, 30 years later, are experiencing the midlife crisis and regretting those things," Robbins said. "We're taking our time making that leap. I don't think our generation is going to have a midlife crisis because we're dealing with our issues early." Women, especially, need to be careful not to lose themselves in the multiple roles they take on. "If we don't establish a secure identity in our 20s, then, of course, when we have our children, we might lose that," said "20-Something" author Hassler. "We need to learn who we are on our own, and then that strong identity carries forward." Too often, women end up identifying themselves strictly through those roles of wife, mother or whatever job title they hold, experts say, and lose that sense of self. You'll get over it For many, the realization that they've moved from young adult or adolescent to adulthood can be pretty frightening. Hassler, who had left a prestigious Hollywood job and jumped from Chinese herbalism to personal training while trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life, ended up unemployed and alone after her live-in fiancĂŠ called off the wedding. "I had no career, no money, I got very depressed," Hassler said. On top of all that, she had pretty much cut ties with her family when she'd decided to move in with her boyfriend. And when the reality of the situation started to set in, Hassler began to recognize she was on her own. "It was this sense of, 'Oh my gosh. I'm a grown up,' " Hassler said. " 'I'm not tied to my parents anymore.' " The progression from young adult to actual grown-up woman has helped Brown be more open to now listening to her mother's advice. She likes to think of her mom as an adviser. "That was one of the biggest changes between 18 and 20-something," Brown said. "I'm OK with my mom being right. And when she talks to me, I'm more inclined to listen." Finding friend and family support during the transitional years is a crucial step in overcoming the obstacle a quarter-life crisis can throw in your way, experts say. After working through the quarter-life issues developing a support network is the final step, psychologist Dickerson said. "The expectations don't go away," she said. "Young women can challenge them and create a life of their own choosing, often doing many of the things society expects from them, but in their own way."

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