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December 25, 2013

July 13, 2011

Vol 13 No 28

Plan Your 2014 Vacation in Missouri



Cranberry Fizz

Around Town


Sled Hockey League Tournament

St. Louis skyline from Moonrise Hotel Photo courtesy of Missouri Division of Tourism

Missouri Enjoys Showing on Best-of Lists



WSD Receives Top Ratings

From the Missouri Division of Tourism If you’re looking for an award-winning getaway, start planning your trip to Missouri. During 2013, the Show-Me State’s tourism assets made dozens of best-of lists awarded by regional, national and international publications and organizations. Just in case you missed the messages about Missouri’s greatness in the media this year, here’s a look at a selection of the many honors bestowed on the Show-Me State in 2013. People from across the state, and the Midwest, utilize the vast outdoor resources in America’s “Best Trails State” – an honor conferred upon Missouri by the American Trails organization. In fact, more than 12,000 people have logged more than 1 million miles on Missouri trails as part of Gov. Jay Nixon’s 100 Missouri Miles challenge. One of Missouri’s most popular trails destinations is Katy Trail State Park right here at home in St. Charles; at just over 237 miles, it is the longest rails-to-trails conversion in the U.S. Missouri’s capital, Jefferson City, was named the “Most Beautiful Small Town in America” as part of Rand McNally’s Best of the Road series. Picturesque views of the Missouri River valley and the stunning Capitol are frequently cited among the city’s most-beautiful

attributes. And, in a development that stunned almost no one, Kansas City was named among the Best Barbecue Cities in the U.S. by Food and Wine magazine. Across the state, Missouri’s secondlargest city, St. Louis, also racked up a slew of honors. St. Louis was named one of the Top 25 Romantic Cities in the U.S. (No. 9 to be precise) by, and the Three Sixty Rooftop Bar (at the Hilton St. Louis at the Ballpark) was named on Frommer’s list of the Top Best Hotel Rooftop Bars Around the World. With nods toward their respective family fun options, shopping, live shows and outdoor recreation, the Lake of the Ozarks area and Branson both made the (a division of Trip Advisor) list of the Top Midwest Travel Spots. Meanwhile, Bonne Terre Mine, representing the U.S., was named among the World’s Top 10 Diving Resorts (coming in at No. 3) by Fox News. In securing its lofty status as a scuba diving destination, Bonne Terre Mine was listed ahead of several far-flung resorts, including those found in Italy and Australia. In northern Missouri, Hannibal and the Great River Road—paralleling the Mississippi River—were mentioned among the top 10 Fall Foliage Road Trips in the U.S. by

To the south, Johnson’s Shut-Ins State Park, which features a collection of carved-in-rock swimming holes formed by the flow of the Black River, was named among the best Top-Secret Swimming Holes by USA Today. It’s unlikely the site will earn that honor again, as it’s no longer a secret. Golfers should delight in knowing five Missouri courses were listed among See VACATION IN MISSOURI page 2

Over the Fence


My Resolve Stands Mute

Saving Mr. Banks photo courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures


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Around Town


December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Vol. 15 No. 52

In This Issue... 2

Around Town Local news and events like the Foundry’s New Year’s Eve


Business Local business’s 30th anniversary and more business news


School Social dance classes and more school news


Movie Saving Mr. Banks is “a wonderful film with lots of heart, but there are plenty of dark moments,” wrties Steve Bryan.


Sports and More Local sport authority Gary B fills you in on the weekend’s sporting events.


Recipes Cocktails: Shaken, Not Stirred


What’s Happening the only events calendar you need to stay entertained all week long




Over the Fence Joe Morice is to Community News readers what Wilson was to Tim Taylor: enjoy a fresh perspective from our in-house blue-collar philosopher.

VACATION IN MISSOURI from cover Golfweek’s Best Courses You Can Play (courses open to the public) in 2013. Those courses include Payne Stewart, Ledgestone and Murder Rock, all in Branson; Branson Creek in Hollister; and Shoal Creek in Kansas City. There you have it … a look at some of the Missouri cities, destinations, attractions and events that earned honors in 2013. With the New Year fast Bonne Terre Mine Photo courtesy of Missouri Division of Tourism approaching, we look forward to seeing which outlets add Missouri to their best-of compilations in 2014. Learn more about the Show-Me State online at, the official travel website of the Missouri Division of Tourism. Start planning your next getaway today at and be sure to visit some of the destinations that made best-of lists in 2013.

Get your event or good news published in Community News: email your information in calendar and article formats to

Around Town Water Line Extension Serves Progress West Hospital A 1,600-foot water main extension project along Highway K in O’Fallon is slated for completion next week. Missouri American Water crews are finishing the installation of the new 12-inch diameter water main designed to provide a secondary water feed for Progress West Hospital. The water main extends along the south side of Highway K from Crusher to Technology Drive, then east along Technology Drive to Progress

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Point. Construction started on November 13, 2013. “Many hospitals are served by dual water mains, to minimize the potential risk of service disruption in the event of a water main break,” said Marek Jacobs, Sr. Manager of St. Charles County Operations. “Our crews are completing the project quickly, with minimal disruption to local businesses.” • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013

Grant Kniffen at the Renaud Spirit Center Colorful landscapes, Western themes, and barn dances are among the paintings by artist Grant Kniffen that are currently on display through January 3 in O’Fallon’s Cultural Arts Gallery at the Renaud Spirit Center (RSC), 2650 Tri Sports Circle, O’Fallon. Kniffen’s artwork is inspired by regional themes, American history, and landscapes both rural and wild. But he owes his compelling use of vibrant color, line, and a penchant for storytelling to childhood influences. Truman State University in 1984 and a Masters in “I started off, like many kids, wanting to be a comic book artist,” he said. “That Studio Art from Lindenwood University in 1989. evolved into a great love of the illustrators of the In 1995, Grant was selected “Secondary School ‘Golden Age,’ especially N.C. Wyeth, who gave vi- Art Teacher of the Year” by the Missouri Art sual life to the imagination in the same way special Education Association. And the Parkway School effects do in the movies of today. I also had a great District named him the “High School Teacher of love of the American West that was stoked by the the Year” for the 1996–1997 school year. In addimany westerns I watched as a kid. Charlie Russell tion to the exhibit on display at the Renaud Spirit and Frederic Remington were chief among influ- Center, examples of his artwork can be seen on ential Western artists. Finally, the regional work his website, O’Fallon’s Cultural Arts Gallery admission is of Missouri’s own Thomas Hart Benton has been influential in my work. In addition to Benton’s free and the exhibit is available for viewing dursubjects, his use of strong color, contrast, and dy- ing regular business hours at the RSC. For more namic composition still resonates with me today.” information, please call 636.474.2732 or visit Currently, Kniffen enjoys taking non-traditional approaches to his favorite themes by using multiple views, expressive color, and combinations of realism and abstraction in the same painting. Kniffen, who lives in Dardenne Prairie, recently retired from a 29-year teaching career at Parkway North High School in Saint Louis County. He earned a B.S.E. in Art from

Around Town


2013 New Year’s Eve Celebration with Serapis and Friends

The Foundry Art Centre plans to welcome 2014 in style, with their 3rd Annual New Year’s Eve 2013 Celebration featuring local musical favorite Serapis and Friends. Doors open at 8pm; the concert begins at 9pm at 520 North Main Center in St. Charles. Serapis and Friends will perform LIVE on the Foundry Art Centre stage and will be joined by Brian Casserly, Dave Cheli and other special guests. Tickets are $25 per person, with the first drink on the house—no outside alcohol or liquor is allowed, but there will be a cash bar provided by Quintessential. Guests may bring their own appetizers to make the event more festive. For more information about this very special New Year’s Eve celebration with Serapis and Friends, please call the Foundry Art Centre at 636.255.0270 or visit their website at For more information, please call 636.255.0270 or visit www.


for achieving a 5-Star Overall Rating. This rating is based on health inspections, staffing, and quality measures. It signifies the professionalism and passion of our people who bring excellence to serving older adults. Independent Living Assisted Living Memory Care REACH Short Stay Rehab Skilled Care

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Older Adults Living Life to the Fullest.

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Around Town

December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

2013-14 Midwest Sled Hockey League Tournament

The 2013 National Champion DASA St. Louis Blues Sled Hockey Club will host the second tournament of the 2013-14 MWSHL season. The Midwest Sled Hockey League (MWSHL) debuted in 2009 through the collaboration of the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago (RIC Sports) and USA Hockey Disabled Section. There are three regular-season league tournaments hosted in San Antonio, St. Louis, and Colorado. St. Louis will be hosting the second league tournament. A league championship tournament will be held in the Chicagoland area March 7-9, 2014. 2013-14 MWSHL members include St. Louis Blues, Chicago Blackhawks, Colorado Avalanche, and San Antonio Rampage. The tournament will happen at the Lindenwood Ice Arena, 10 Main Plaza Dr, Wentzville. The DASA Blues are competing for a MWSHL championship and a Wirtz Cup on their road to a third consecutive national title. The Wirtz Cup is the MWSHL championship trophy named in honor of the late Bill Wirtz, who was a great ambassador for the disabled community. The Colorado Avalanche won the 2012-13 Wirtz Cup. Games • Blues vs. Blackhawks: Friday, January 3 from 5:30pm – 6:45pm • Blues vs. Avalanche: Saturday, January 4 from 11am – 12:15pm • Blues vs. Rampage: Saturday, January 4 from 7:45pm – 9pm • Blues vs. Avalanche: Sunday, January 5 from 10am – 11:15am For complete weekend and league schedules, please visit www.

SCC Young People’s Theatre Auditions for “Shrek” St. Charles Community College’s Young People’s Theatre will hold open auditions for the production of Shrek noon - 5pm Saturday, January 4. Callbacks will be from 1 - 5pm, Sunday, January 5. Open auditions are for children ages 8-18 in the Donald D. Shook Fine Arts Building on the SCC campus in Cottleville. A parent or guardian must be present with their child during the audition process. Each student will be taught a dance and need to bring tap or jazz shoes. Auditions will consist of solo, dance and readings. Students should be prepared to use many different character voices. Each student will need to prepare 16-32 measures or a one-minute cutting of a Broadway-repertoire song and bring an accompaniment CD or a song from the electronic device. No a cappella songs or piano sheet music allowed. Students need to be able to sing on stage by themselves. Shrek will be performed in the theater of the Fine Arts Building at 7pm Friday-Saturday, March 2122 and 28-29, and 2pm Saturday-Sunday, March 22-23, and Saturday, March 29. For more information about auditions or the play, please call 636.922.8233 or go online to www.

“Rag Dolls, Robots & Rocketships”

Just in time for Christmas, the Foundry Art Centre (FAC) is hosting a unique exhibition which captures the childhood joy of the holiday season. FAC is pleased to present their latest exhibition – Rag Dolls, Robots & Rocketships. For many, the mere glimpse of a childhood toy in a shop window can bring to surface the memories of a favorite doll, a sibling squabble over a dump truck or fond thoughts of a threadbare stuffed dog. Rag Dolls, Robots & Rocketships is a juried exhibition presenting the theme of toys.

This special exhibit features toy-inspired art in all mediums, both in 2D and 3D forms. This exhibition will be open in the Foundry’s Gallery I, II & III during regular business hours, through Friday, January 17, 2014. Exhibiting Artists include Jeff Boshart, Susan Bostwick, Christine Casten, James Calvin, Anne Chesnut, Elizabeth Conn, Brad Corso, Robert Davis, Evelyn Davis-Walker, John DenHouter, Theresa Devine, Emily Dvorin, Erin Eveland, Barry Fitzgerald, Derek Gollaher, William Harroff, Nancy Hathaway, Joseph Holsapple, Elizabeth Huller Eisemann, Alan Iteaux, Joyce Jensen, Philly Johnmeyer, Steve Jones, Janet Kappes,Catherine Kirkpatrick, Miriam Krone, Lisa Linke, Roger McCarthy, Bill McKenney, Pieter Myers, Liz Miller, Angela Mircsov, Melissa Mircsov, Elizabeth Morisette, Shirley Nachtrieb, Paul Nitsche, Katherine Nelson, Collette Paul, James Pittman, Robert Reed, Melissa Rohr, Sherry Salant, Nicole Stahl, Erika Swinson, Tobin Troyer, Ira Upin, Chelsea Vineyard, Ron Vivod, Marcus Walton, Mark Wlaz and Jim Zimpel. The Rag Dolls, Robots & Rocketships exhibition was juried by Renee Richetts - a working artist who focuses on the creative use of recycled and re-used materials within the context of her strong pro-environment themes. For more information about the Rag Dolls, Robots & Rocketships exhibition and upcoming Opening Reception event at the Foundry Art Centre, contact Executive Director Angela Fowle at 636.255.0270 or via email at The public may also visit their website at for additional details. • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013 The St. Charles Kiwanis recently installed their 2014 Officers and Board. The Kiwanis Club of St. Charles was formed in 1935 and is an International organization dedicated to fellowship and community service. The Kiwanis motto is” Serving the Children of the World”. Our Club also sponsors area youth Kiwanis organizations at Lindenwood University, Duchesne, St. Charles West, St. Charles High Schools, Hardin Middle School, Sts. Joachim & Ann and St. Cletus Schools in St. Charles. Front row: Outgoing President Jay Lenox and the new 2014 President Wendy Rackovan. Second row: Board members Tom Stephenson, Pete Mihelich, Elmer Austermann, Tiffany Ermeling, Caryn Watson, Mike Webb, Marie Swann, Parker Brauer and Allen Schulte.

Huneke Inducted Into Quincy University Hall of Fame in 1964 and featured many St. Louisans. Huneke’s brother, Jim, was a member of the 1967 NAIA National championship team. “I am honored to be recognized as part of the school’s rich sports history,” said Huneke. “I still have dreams about playing soccer and remember my teammates and the 1964 season like it was yesterday.” Huneke became the publisher of Robert Huneke (right) and brother Jim Huneke (left). Photo by Jerry Murphy the Community News in 1991, takCommunity News’ Robert J. Huneke Jr. and ing over the business from his father. teammates of the 1964 Quincy University’s Established in 1921, the Community News is a men’s soccer team were recently inducted into family-owned business and has been published the Quincy University Hall of Fame along with weekly serving St. Louis, St. Charles and Linthe 1967, 1971, 1973 and 1974 soccer teams. coln counties. Quincy University is a private Huneke, a North St. Louis native and long- liberal arts Catholic University founded in 1860 time publisher of the Community News, played by Franciscan friars. Center Halfback in the squad’s inaugural season in which the team went undefeated. The Quincy College (now Quincy University) squad was formed

Around Town

ReLocating ReStore Habitat for Humanity of St. Charles County has relocated ReStore. On Dec. 4, Habitat for Humanity of St. Charles County (HFHSCC) signed the official lease agreement to move their ReStore to a new location—nearly double the size of merchandizing space from the current location. The ReStore will maintain regular operation hours at their original location at 130 Trade Center Drive West in St. Peters during this time. The anticipated grand opening will be in March 2014. For updates, visit the Habitat St. Charles ReStore Facebook page. HFHSCC Restore is seeking volunteers, donors, and sponsors to assist in multiple areas to make this relocation as effective as possible. Many volunteers will be needed to assist with the relocation and there are opportunities available for all skill levels. Exciting and unique sponsorship opportunities are available for those who are interested in other forms of support outside of volunteering their time. ReStore Manager, Andrea Hughes, looks forward to working with current and new volunteers and donors during this exciting transition. As the HFHSCC ReStore grows, the ability to build affordable housing in St. Charles County is expected to expand. ReStore ReLocation Information: Who: HFHSCC ReStore and affiliate office Where: 186 Mid Rivers Center, St. Peters MO 63376 When: December 2013 through March 2014 Why: To provide affordable, decent housing opportunities for deserving, hardworking families by accepting and reselling donated building materials and furniture. For more information on volunteering or donating, please visit: To see the ReStore’s official announcement: watch?v=tYXge0f5SPI.

Red Cross Helping Family After Fire Disaster workers with the American Red Cross St. Louis Area Chapter responded after a fire in the 200 block of Fairview in St. Charles on Friday. They provided emergency assistance for food and shelter to two adults and one child. The Red Cross is able to respond quickly when emergencies happen thanks to our generous donors. The American Red Cross St. Louis Area Chapter is a proud member agency of the United Way of Greater St. Louis, which makes significant investments every year in Red Cross services. The Red Cross is part of the “All Ready” campaign, a unified effort among emergency preparedness experts in the bistate region that focuses on the importance of individual preparedness. The campaign encourages the three critical steps of preparedness: Make a plan, Get a kit, Be informed.




December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Local Fitness and Nutrition Expert Launches Product Globally Ann Carden owner of Ultimate Fitness Plus For Women in O’Fallon is using her 16 years of experience in the fitness and weight loss industry to launch her first global product Body Blast Bootcamp. It is loaded with a variety of workouts. The program workouts include, strength training, cardio vascular and core all in one jam packed 30 minute workout that burns as many calories as most 60 minute workouts in other health clubs. For more information, visit or

Software To Go Celebrates 30 Years Technology provider Software To Go is celebrating its 30th year of providing technology products. The milestone will be marked with sales events and giveaways in addition to a “timeline wall” which has been installed in the showroom. The firm also has updated its online Computer Museum which spotlights some of the vintage computing equipment showcased at the company’s office. The firm provides computer hardware, software, and peripherals and provides consulting and ongoing repair and maintenance services to clients in 46 states from its location in St. Peters. The firm moved to St. Peters in 2006 after being based in Clayton since its’ founding in 1983. Software To Go President Joe Balsarotti stated, “To any small business 30 years is quite a milestone, but in the computer industry, we have truly

been blessed with wonderful clients, many who have been with us for decades and a great staff, who know how to rise to any challenge.” He continued, “We started by selling software for Apple IIs, Commodores and Ataris. The IBM was brand new at that time. We changed as the technology did and added equipment to our offerings to allow us to provide complete technology solutions to our clients that led to consulting, maintenance programs and now, managed services for our customers.” Software To Go was spotlighted in a speech by President George W. Bush in 2003, and Dan Jones, service engineer for the firm, was an invited guest of the First Lady for the 2007 State of the Union speech. The company has won numerous awards including, “Best Customer Service” in 2009, “Top 20 under 20 Employees” in 2010, and Joe Balsarotti was the recipient of the National Federation of Independent Business’ Small Business Champion Award in 2005. Software To Go, based in St. Peters, is one of the Midwest’s oldest software and computer shops (founded in 1983) and specializes in personal computing solutions for small businesses, professionals, education and government.

Kiwanis Club Donates to Children’s Hospital George Dallmeyer, a member of the St. Charles Kiwanis Club has wood working as one of his hobbies. Many hours of loving care were put into cutting, sanding, painting and assembling 144 toy vehicles, twelve each of twelve different designs. George and club members delivered them to the Child Life Services Department at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. The Child Life Services Department is a group of professionals who strive to promote a positive healthcare experience for children, youth and families. Their DepartPictured L-R are John Pallardy, George Dallmeyer and ment consistently adClub President Wendy Rackovan vocates for the optimal growth, development and emotional wellbeing of infants, children and adolescents in the healthcare setting. The services they provide take a holistic and diverse approach to meeting the social and emotional needs of each child, adolescent and family they serve. The toys are used to provide a source for patients to help cope with the fear, anxiety, and separation from families and friends during their hospital stay. The Kiwanis Club of St. Charles is a community service organization formed in 1935. Our club motto is “Serving the Children of the World.” The Kiwanis Club meets at noon Tuesdays at the Columns Banquet Center.

Business Spotlight A place to find out a little more about your local businesses! • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013



MERS/Goodwill Honored for Decades of Community Service MERS/Goodwill has been honored with the latest Business Spotlight Award from the Economic Development Roundtable of St. Charles County for decades of providing job opportunities and other important resources to those in need, and for opening their newest retail operations in the cities of Lake Saint Louis and St. Peters. In 2001, Metropolitan Employment and Rehabilitation Services and Missouri Goodwill Industries merged to form MERS/Missouri Goodwill Industries or “MERS/ Goodwill.” Today, the $150 million organization puts 94 percent of its revenues back into its community services which include employment training, career counseling, day care centers, juvenile justice programs, correctional services, GED instruction, and thrifty retail stores. Last year, more than 48,000 clients were served by their Employment and Training Division at over 70 locations. With a staff of more than 2,000,

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Fine Drinking Establishment

and Retail Shop Raises the Bar Seven months ago Sherri Beeman set out to do something that hadn’t been done in St. Charles County: create a casual yet classy bar with a full retail section that also featured a large wine and cigar collection. That’s just what she did when she opened Everything Wine and Cigars in an unassuming area of Dardenne Prairie. “There was just nothing like it on this side of the river; we were looking to do something atypical from the normal bar scene,” said Sherri. As the name suggests, the establishment offers a variety of wines and cigars from around the world while boasting a large bourbon and scotch selection. Everything Wine and Cigars also sells and serves a mix of products produced in the St. Louis and Midwestern region such as Mastermind vodka and beer from Schlafly, 4 Hands Brewing, and O’Fallon Brewery. The business is expanding its menu and will feature a larger menu of appetizers and lighter fare such as small plates and tapas items geared toward sharing. The Barrel Bar features live music and offers a variety of wines, beers and spirits in a non-smoking environment. For those who wish to partake of one of the cigars, they can enjoy a puff in a smokingfriendly room located on-site. There’s more to the bar and retail shop than the inventory it carries. Beeman’s desire to operate a one-of-a-kind business coupled with the drive to create a unique visitor experience has resulted in a new standard in the area bar scene. “We are the hidden jewel of St. Charles County. Our motto is ‘raising the bar in St. Charles County,’” she said of her business. No matter the occasion or rea-

MERS/Goodwill is one of the largest non-profit employers in metro St. Louis. Each month a different organization in St. Charles County is selected for the Business Spotlight Award by the Economic Development Roundtable (EDR) based on criteria such as civic involvement, job growth, economic impact and entrepreneurial success. The EDR is a standing committee of the Economic Development Center (EDC) of St. Charles County in partnership with the local cities, St. Charles County Government, and the St. Charles County Department of Workforce Development. For more information about MERS/Goodwill, please visit or call 636.946.7559. For more information about the EDC’s Economic Development Roundtable, call 636.441.6880 or visit

By Amanda Bretz son for the visit, the knowledgeable team at Everything Wine and Cigars want people to have an enjoyable experience and to feel like they’re at home when stopping by. For Beeman and her staff, an essential part of ensuring patrons have a memorable experience is by being available to educate and answer questions about the products they sell. “We’re here to educate and break those barriers down, with someone who knows about cigars to someone who wants to buy a cigar for someone as a gift.” Beeman said although she and her staff are experts, their goal is to have an enthusiast’s approach, not an elitist approach, when educating and assisting their clientele. “We’ve always been fans of wine, scotch, craft beer, and cigars, and we wanted to bring that approach to the business,” she continued. Hours of operation are 10am to 10pm Monday and Tuesday, 10am to 11pm Wednesday and Thursday, 10am to 1am Friday, 11am to 1am Saturday, closed on Sunday. Everything Wine and Cigars is located

Photo by Ray Rockwell

at 1001 Rondale Ct. in Dardenne Prairie. For more information, contact the business directly at 636.294.5911 or find them online at www.everythingwineandcigars. com and on Facebook.



December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Adult Education Gears Up for a New Session of Classes The EMT Program Now Enrolling for Spring. Emergency Medical Services is a high-growth industry, and St. Charles Adult and Community Education EMT Training Program is meeting the needs of students seeking training in the EMT field. The St. Charles Adult and Community Education EMT Training Program offers four classes each year, with a morning and evening class offered in January and in August. Enrollment is underway for the spring 2014 semester, which starts January 21. Students interested in applying for the program can visit www. for more information or email to get started. Seventeen students in the 2013 fall class of the St. Charles Adult and Community Education EMT training program passed the Missouri state practical exam on December 14 and graduated. The students are now eligible to sit for the National written exam and obtain their EMT certification. According to the U.S. Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics, employment of emergency medical technicians and paramedics expected to rise 33 percent between 2010 and 2020, due to an increase in health emergencies as the population of middleaged and elderly people grows. Those with EMT certification can work as a paramedic, firefighter, emergency department technician, home healthcare provider, dispatching communications specialist or a health screener. St. Charles Adult and Community Education offers 10 percent discount for spring classes. Start 2014 off by learning something new! Get 10 percent off of St. Charles Adult and Community Education classes when you enroll in a class before January 6. Registration opens December 29 at Watch for the brochure in the mail. St. Charles Adult and Community Education offers more than classes that promote lifelong learning and adventure this spring. More than 40 new courses, taught by local business owners, neighbors, teachers and experts offer a chance to explore new hobbies and skills. Explore glass making, try a one-night cooking class or learn to play the guitar. New classes this year include: - Silk Scarf Dyeing with our partners at Missouri Artists on Main - Basic Photography: The Art of Light offers a primer on digital SLR cameras and principles of photography - Zumba, a Latin-inspired dance fitness class, starts January 13 - Sugar Blues is a one-day workshop designed to kick-start your diet and help you reduce the amount of sugar you consume

Foundation Scholarship Foundation scholarship applications for the 2014-15 school year at St. Charles Community College are now available. Application packets are due by 4:30pm Monday, March 3, 2014, to Enrollment Services in the Administration Building, Room 1113. Application packets and recommendation forms can be found at, outside the auditorium of the Social Sciences Building or in Enrollment Services. Students who submit official application packets are eligible for more than 40 scholarships, based on specific award criteria. Some $65,000 in Foundation Scholarships is awarded each year at SCC. “We are so thankful for our donors who believe in the power of education and make our scholarship program possible,” said Betsy Schneider, SCC director of development. The SCC Foundation is the official fundraising and private gift-receiving agency for the college. Chartered as a non-profit corporation for education purposes, the Foundation solicits and receives tax-deductible gifts and manages these gifts and bequests for the benefit of the college. For more information, contact Betsy Schneider at

Social Dance Classes in January Warm up this winter with social dance classes at St. Charles Community College. Beginning in January, learn how to swing, rumba, line dance and more with award winning dance instructors Linda Landwehr and Stan Mayer. The classes, held one night each week for eight weeks, will be in the College Center dance studio on the SCC campus, 4601 Mid Rivers Mall Drive in Cottleville. Classes will be held from January 12-March 10. Instructors Landwehr and Mayer are former professional champion dancers with more than 25 years experience in dance competition and instruction. Dance instruction is available in various dance forms, including foxtrot, waltz, rumba, swing, jitterbug and tango for all skill levels, ages 14 and up. The spacious dance studio has a floating wood dance floor, mirrors and air conditioning. Registration is $48 per person. Social dance classes are offered through the Continuing Education Department of the SCC Division of Corporate and Community Development. Register online at, or call 636.922.8233. For more information, visit

Moody’s Gives Top Ratings to Wentzville School District

Moody’s Investors Service has assigned an enhanced Aa1 rating with stable outlook and an underlying Aa2 rating to Wentzville School District’s 2014 General Obligation Refunding Bonds. Moody’s maintains an Aa2 rating on the District’s outstanding general obligation debt, including the current offering, one of the highest ratings for any school district in Missouri. “The Aa1 and Aa2 ratings released by Moody’s investors Service is a reflection of the District’s sound fiscal management,” said Pam Frazier, District CFO. “The rating is evidence of the District’s solid financial strength and ability to pay its debt obligations.” According to the report the favorable rating reflects the District’s “sizable tax base, healthy financial position, and above average, though manageable debt burden.” Wentzville has been the fastest growing school district in Missouri over the past decade, averaging more than 600 new students every year. As a result of the record growth, the WSD has had to borrow money to build seven new schools since 2005. According to Moody’s the strengths of the District include a “strong financial profile marked by growing reserves and consistent growth in student enrollment.” The report went on to state that “the District worked to deliberately rebuild reserves over the last five years. Despite increased staffing and facility needs due to projected student growth, the district’s sound financial operations will likely continue given prudent and forward-looking financial planning.” • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013


“Saving Mr. Banks”


By Steve Bryan - Rated: PG

Unless something changes She’s crusty and cranky, but there’s a method to her drastically over the next few madness and good reasons why she doesn’t want to weeks, Emma Thompson has a virtual lock on the cheapen her books with animated penguins. Best Actress Oscar for her performance in Saving Mr. Though overshadowed by the fantastic Thompson, Banks. Thompson leads a talented Tom Hanks turns in a wonderful cast in telling the behind-the-scenes performance as Walter Elias Disstory of how a beloved children’s ney, the man who made his fortune book became a classic film. from a mouse. Hanks brings pasThompson plays Pamela “P.L.” sion and honesty to the character, Travers, the very proper writer of showing how he simply wants to the Mary Poppins series of chilhonor a long-standing promise to dren’s books. After years of denying his daughters. Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) the rights B.J. Novak and Jason Schwartzto her beloved characters, financial man come dangerously close to problems force Travers to fly to the stealing the movie, however, as United States to talk turkey with Robert and Richard Sherman, two Walt. But this is not going to be an talented composers responsible for easy negotiation, not by a long shot. the memorable songs in Mary PopUnder the direction of John Lee pins. The Sherman brothers have Hancock, Saving Mr. Banks is a the unenviable task of spending wonderful film with lots of heart, long days in the studio hammering but there are plenty of dark moout script and song details with P.L. ments, though. Through a series of Saving Mr. Banks photo courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures Travers. flashbacks featuring Colin Farrell as the author’s father, Contrary to what the trailers show, Saving Mr. Banks audiences learn more about the late Pamela Travers is not all sweetness and light. The flashbacks of a very and what Mary Poppins really young Pamela and her father meant to her. are deadly serious, offering A wonderful film with lots By all accounts—including insight into why Travers detape recordings of her sessions cided to write her books in the of heart, but there are plenty at Disney Studios—Pamela first place. of dark moments. Travers hated animation and Kudos to John despised what Disney planned Lee Hancock, to do to her books. Emma Thompson captures the es- Emma Thompson, and Tom Hanks for taksence and irony of Travers beautifully in this movie. ing an almost forgotten chapter in movie

history and turning it into a wonderful cinematic Christmas present. Saving Mr. Banks is one of those movies that must not be missed. Saving Mr. Banks, rated PG13 for thematic elements including some unsettling images, currently is playing in theaters. Born and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

This Month’s Shelter: Stray Rescue of St. Louis 2320 Pine Street, St. Louis, MO 63103 • 314.771.6121 • If you’ve adopted a new family member that you saw in Community News, send us a picture of you and your new pal. Also include a brief story about your pet’s background and how they’re doing now. We’d love to share your happy story with other readers! Community News, 2139 Bryan Valley Commercial Dr., O’Fallon, MO 63366 or editor@

The U.S. Humane Society estimates 6 to 8 million dogs and cats enter shelters each year, and 3 to 4 million are euthanized. Please do your part to control overpopulation and to limit the number of unwanted animals. SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS!

Saving Mr. Banks photo courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures


December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Gary Baute Christmas Present Early for Rams Fans The St. Louis football Rams played their final home game last Sunday winning 23-13 over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This was the second win in a row at home finishing the 2013 season with five victories out of eight games. Head Coach Jeff Fisher was elated. “The guys were very excited to get back into the building again for two weeks in a row. It was important to them to have a winning record here at home, which is a tremendous feat considering the circumstances and the start.” The Rams defensive end Robert Quinn set a record as he broke the single season ‘sack’ mark of 17 set by Kevin Carter. “Definitely a great honor. I’ve been blessed all year, nice way to end the game,” he commented. After interviews, teammates Chris Long and Randy Martin’s favorite player William Hayes, carried Quinn off the field as fans yelped MVP, a potential Defensive Player of the Year! The last game of the season is this coming Sunday in Seattle against the first place Seahawks. * Great home field ending Rams Promote Within The Rams organization is printing new business cards as the season nears the end. Tiffany White (pictured right) will move from an assistant to Manager Media Relations. Several others have received a promotion to be named later. * Congrats

Fun in the Press Box Lynda Gates will not have her name in the sports section of newspapers but she makes sure all the writers have all the tools they need to get their job done. With her are Mike Huss of STL Sports, Sterling Levy and yours truly (pictured right). Picture taken by one of the St. Louis City’s finest! * Thanks for all you do


Hockey Chill Drop Tough Game The St. Charles team had a defensive struggle with the Quad City Mallards last Sunday at the Family Arena with a 3-1 loss. The lone goal for the home team was the first of the year netted by forward Nicklas Lindberg. Along with one goal, Lindberg has eight assists playing in his 10th game. The Chill (7-16-4) will play this Friday on their home ice against the Allen Americans. Go to for all the details. * Ouch Mark Your Calendar for this Event After Christmas On Sunday December 29 your professional indoor soccer team Ambush will play at home against the Syracuse Silver Knights. The organization has set a mascot game at halftime of their game with Ambush’s own Bushwhacker, Fredbird from the St. Louis Cardinals, Rampage from the St. Louis Rams, Louie from the St. Louis Blues, Shiver from the St. Charles Chill, as well as mascots from local colleges and many more. Go to for all the details. * A very interesting evening Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted, among many other activities. Currently he broadcasts a radio show on 590 ‘The Man’ and 1380 ‘The Woman.’


Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

See solution on page 13

11 • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013


Cocktails: Shaken, Not Stirred

New Year’s Eve parties call for festive drinks. This year, shake things up a bit. Trade in the punch bowl for a cocktail shaker and serve up some easy, fun and delicious egg-based cocktails for guests. But, if you’re asking if raw eggs are safe to use, the answer is “yes as long as you’re using pasteurized eggs.” Safest Choice Eggs are pasteurized in their shells using a warm water bath which eliminates the risk of salmonella. A red circle “P” stamped on the eggs lets you know they are safe. Simple, sensational cocktails Eggnog is a must-have for the season, and most everyone agrees that homemade tastes best. So start with the basics to make a perfect Shaken Eggnog Cocktail. A whole egg, cream, brandy or bourbon, some simple syrup and you’re on your way to cocktail bliss. Sprinkle with pumpkin pie spice and it’s time for a toast with this creamy, slightly spicy take on eggnog. As a nod to another seasonal favorite, the cranberry, a Cranberry Fizz is just what the mixologist ordered. It’s an ethereal combination of orange liqueur, vodka and cranberry juice, accented with hints of lime and bitters. Add an egg white and give it a few shakes; the egg white provides a layer of foamy, frothy fizz. Egg whites have been used to give a “fizz” to cocktails since the late 1800s, so clink your glasses together to celebrate this tradition, which can be enjoyed once again, thanks to pasteurized eggs. For recipes and more, please visit

Cranberry Fizz

Shaken Eggnog Cocktail

Serves 2

Ingredients: 1/4 cup heavy cream 2 tablespoons milk 1-1/2 ounces brandy, bourbon or dark rum 1-12 tablespoons simple syrup or agave nectar (see note) 1 Safest Choice Pasteurized Egg, slightly beaten 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract Ice Pumpkin pie spice Directions: Place cream, milk, brandy, simple syrup, egg, vanilla and ice in cocktail shaker. Shake until well blended. Pour into 2 glasses rimmed with pumpkin pie spice, if desired. Dust with additional pumpkin pie spice. Note: Simple syrup can be purchased in beverage section of some supermarkets or specialty stores. To prepare at home, combine equal parts water and sugar in saucepan. Bring to boil and cook until sugar dissolves; cool. Store in refrigerator. To add pumpkin pie spice rim to glasses, dip rim of glass into simple syrup or agave, then into shallow layer of pumpkin pie spice. Allow to dry.

Serves 2 Ingredients: 1 1/2 ounces orange liqueur 1 1/2 ounces vodka 3/4 cup cranberry juice 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice 1 Safest Choice Pasteurized Egg white, slightly beaten Dash citrus bitters Ice Directions: Place orange liqueur, vodka, cranberry juice, lime juice, egg white, dash of bitters and ice in cocktail shaker. Shake until ingredients are blended. Pour into 2 glasses rimmed with sugar, if desired. To add sugar rim to glasses, dip rim of glass into citrus juice (orange, lemon or lime) then into shallow layer of colored sugars. Allow to dry.

From Our Family to Yours

Special Holiday Savings Payne are Our Gift to You at any of our 12 St. Louis and 3.5x5 St. Charles County communities. 314-477-1218

e. . Your Hom Our House SM

Savings offer valid on purchase agreements for to-be-built homes written and accepted from 12/1/2013 to 12/31/2013 and varies by community. Please see Community Sales Manager for details.

What’s Happening


December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Send your event to and we'll print it! EVENTS


January 6: Registration for Lake Saint Louis Youth Baseball and Softball league; click on Parks and Recreation, Youth Baseball/Softball or call 636.561.4620. $73/Resident, $94/Non-resident. $10 multi-child discount.

January 15: 2014 Regional Investors Summit.Technology Leadership. 8-10am at Lindenwood University, Spellmann Center, 209 S. Kingshighway Street, St. Charles. Program is complimentary, seating is limited.

January 6: Lake Saint Louis T-ball 6 week program for 4-year-olds. Meets every Saturday morning beginning May 3. Register at www.lakesaintlouis. com; click on Parks and Recreation, Youth Baseball and Softball or call 636.561.4620. $42/Resident, $47/Non-

February 7: Father/Daughter Sweetheart Dance 6:30-8:30pm at Lake Saint Louis Banquet Center. For dads with daughters ages 3-10. Dinner, DJ, balloon artist and a complimentary picture. $44/ couple for Residents, $55/couple for Non-residents, $12.50 for each additional child. Register at www.lakesaint-, click on Parks and Recreation, Father/Daughter Dance or call 636.561.4620. Ongoing Events 1st Monday: Gardeners of St. Charles County Monthly Meeting 6:30pm. Location varies. 314.304.7480. 4th Monday: American Legion Post 388 Meets 6:30 pm at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8945 Vets. Mem. Pkwy. 636.219.0553. Every Monday: St. Peters Rotary Club Noon at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday: Fitness First Exercise Classes 9:30-10:30am, American Legion Hall, 504 Luetkenhaus Blvd., Wentzville. 314.369.6521. 1st Tuesday: Fleur de Lis Garden Society 6:30pm at the Kisker Road Library, 1000 Kisker Road. Info: Jeanne at 314.605.8563.

2nd Tuesday: Show-me Stitchers Embroiderer’s Guild of America 7pm at the Ladue Chapel. Info: www. 4th Tuesday: O’Fallon Garden Club. 6:30pm at Sunrise Methodist Church, 7116 Twin Chimney Blvd. Info: Barb at 636.978.5930. Every Tuesday: Kiwanis Club of St. Charles Noon - 1 pm at the Columns Banquet Center in St. Charles. Every Tuesday: Quilting Guild at the O’Fallon Family YMCA 1-4pm Free. Quilt for local charities. No sewing experience required. Every Tuesday: Toastmasters Meeting 7 pm at the Renaud Spirit Center, 2650 Tri Sports Circle, O’Fallon. Info: 636.379.2505. Every Tuesday & Thursday: Tai Chi at the St. Charles County Family YMCA 8-9am & 10:15-11:15am. No experience necessary. 636-928-1928. Tuesdays & Thursdays: Get Fit Exercise Classes 9-10am and 5:30-6:30pm at Immacu-

late Heart of Mary Church Hall, New Melle. 314.369.6521. Every Wednesday: Active Older Adults Game Day at the O’Fallon Family YMCA 10am Free. Bring a favorite snack to share. Anybody welcome. Every Wednesday: Crossroads Cribbage Club 10am Meets at 1380 Boone St., Troy, MO 63379. 636.528.8379. Every Wednesday: Men’s Golf League 5pm, tee off at 5:30 pm at Heritage of Hawk Ridge., under the parks and recreation section. Every Wednesday: Charity Bingo 6:45pm VFW Post 5077 sponsors, at VFW Hall, 8500 Veterans Mem. Pkwy., O’Fallon. 636.272.1945 or 1st & 3rd Wednesday: St. Charles Area Wood Carvers 7pm at Weldon Spring Site Remedial Action Project, 7295 Hwy. 94 South, St. Charles. Visitors welcome! Every Thursday: Kiwanis Club of St. Peters 6:30am at IHOP (3851 Veteran’s Memorial Pkwy St. Peters). 636.328.4941. Every Thursday: Kiwanis Club of O’Fallon 11:45am Meets at JJ’s Restaurant in O’Fallon. Info: Every Thursday: O’Fallon Rotary Club Lunch Noon at The Holy Cross Lutheran Church (8945 Veterans Memorial Pkwy, across from Fort Zumwalt Park). Visitors welcome. 636.980.1777. Every Thursday: Yoga at The St. Charles County Family YMCA 7-7:55pm Any level. Info: 636.928.1928. 2nd & 4th Thursday: Alexander Chapter 242/Eastern Star St. Charles Masonic Lodge, 2051 Collier Corporate Parkway, St. Charles. 636.577.0056. Every Friday: Moms Play Group 10am at LSL Community Association, 100 Cognac Ct., Lake Saint Louis, MO 63367. 314.479.0306, andreacrislip@ or www.lslmothersclub. com.

Every Friday: VFW Fish Fry 3-8pm VFW Post 2866. 66 VFW Lane. Call Bill Sams, 636.724.9612. Every Saturday: Chess 8-11am or later in the food court at Mid Rivers Mall in St. Peters.

Every Saturday: Veterans Learn guitar for FREE 9:30am in Historic St. Charles. Info: Bill Dennis at 314.479.5750. • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013 Every Saturday: Peaceful Puppy Mill Protest 11am - 12:30pm at Petland, 6131 Ronald Reagan Drive, Lake St. Louis. Every Saturday: Charity Bingo 6:30pm, doors open at 4pm. Wentzville Community Club (500 West Main, Wentzville 63385). or wentzville-community-club. 1st & 3rd Saturday: St Peters Square Dance Club Dances 6:30pm. 1st United Methodist Church, 801 First Capital Dr. 2nd Sunday: Moscow Mills Lions Breakfast 7am - noon, September - April. Moscow Community Center, Hwy C. $7/ adult, $4/child, under 6 free. 2nd Sunday: The Wheelers and Dealers Square Dance 7pm. Blanchette Park, 1900 W Randolph St. www.squaredancestcharles. com. CHURCH December 28: Bible Reading at the Library 2pm at McClay Library, 2760 McClay Road, St. Charles.

Medical Nutrition Therapy (MNT) A nutritional diagnostic therapy and counseling service held at SSM St. Joseph Health Center. Available with a doctor’s order only. Registration: 636.949.9600 Info: 636.947.5163. Free Mammogram Screenings SSM Health Care offers free mammogram screenings to women who have no health insurance. Appointments are available at SSM St. Joseph Health Center, 300 First Capitol Drive in St. Charles and SSM St. Joseph Hospital West, 100 Medical Plaza in Lake Saint Louis. Info: Karen at 636.947.5617. Diabetes Prevention Program Helping those at high risk for type 2 diabetes adopt and maintain healthy lifestyles to reduce chances of developing the disease. Held at participating YMCA’s throughout the St. Louis and St. Charles areas. This program is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention-led National Diabetes Prevention Program. Contact Joyce Hoth at 314-436-1177. Crisis Nursery Committed to preventing child abuse and neglect, the Crisis Nursery provides short-term, safe havens to children, birth through age 12, whose families are faced with an emergency or crisis. 24-hour helpline: 314.768.3201. Or call 636.947.0600 or visit www.cri- Support Groups Daily: 12 Step Recovery Club 204 G West Pittman, O’Fallon. Info: Mike at 636.240.1722 or www.212club. org. Every Monday: BILY (Because I Love You) Parent Support Group 7:30pm at First United Methodist Church, 801 First Capitol Dr., St. Charles. For parents only. Free. Focus on teens/young adults who act out. Help Line 314.993.7550. 1st & 3rd Mondays: Sharing Losses Through Bereavement 1-2:30pm. at SSM Home Care & Hospice, 1187 Corporate Lake Drive. Registration: 314.776.3627. Every Mon.: Tobacco Free for Life Want to Quit Smoking? For support, call Ellen, register nurse at SSM St. Joseph Hospital, 636.947.5304. 1st Mon.: Better Breathers Club Those w/chronic lung disease. St. Joseph Health Cntr., 300 1st Capitol Dr., St. Charles. Free lunch. 636.947.5684.

What’s Happening

Hospital, Medical Office Building, 6 Jungermann Circle, Ste. 212, St. Peters. Discuss loss of your loved one and heal. 314.630.9222 or 12 Step Support Group for Women Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Meets in 4 locations in the metro St Louis area. metrostlouissia@gmail. com. • 1st and 3rd Monday: 9:30-11am 500 Medical Dr in Wentzville; doctors dining room of St Joseph Hospital; contact 636.561.0389. • 2nd and 4th Tuesday: 6:30-8pm 2 Progress Point Parkway in O’Fallon, MO; 4th floor conference room of Progress West Hospital; contact 636.561.0389. 1st Tuesday: Parkinson’s Support Group 1-2pm at the Community Commons in Spencer Road Library. Info: Alicia Wildhaber at 636.926.3722. 4th Tues: Diabetes Support Group 6:30-7:30pm At HW Koenig Med Bldg, St Joseph Hosp. West. 636.625.5447

Every Wednesday: Co-Dependents (CODA) Anonymous Meeting 8pm, 2800 Elm St., St. Charles. Separate brick house behind church complex. Contact Julie at 636.397.8676. This meeting is for women only. 1st Wed: Missouri/Illinois Multiple Myeloma Support Group 10-11am at St. Joseph Medical Park: Education Room, 1475 Kisker Road, St. Charles. RSVP is appreciated at 636.447.9006 or hoss4twa@sbcglobal. net. 3rd Wed. 6:30–8 pm KidsCan! Siteman Cancer Center, Barnes-Jewish St. Peters Hosp., 150 Entrance Way, St. Peters. Support children 4–12 w/parent/significant caregiver w/cancer. 1st Thursday: Nurses & Company Parkinson’s Support Group 1-2pm at Twin Oaks at Heritage Pointe (228 Savannah Terrace, Wentzville) for those with Parkinson’s and their caregivers. Questions: Alicia Wildhaber with Nurses & Company at 636.926.3722.

3rd Monday: Walking for WellnessSTOP HEROIN Life After Loss Support Group 7-8:30pm at Barnes-Jewish St. Peters

Northside Church of Christ Free Correspondence Bible Course: Call for more information, 636.293.5030. Operation Backpack: United Methodist Church, Wentzville Food to at-risk children over the weekend. 636.327.6377 Every Tuesday: Ministry To Men: Men’s Introductory Bible Discussion Groups 7am at United Methodist Church, 725 N. Wall St., Wentzville. Groups are interdenominational and beginners as well as “old timers” are welcome. 636.698.5598 or 636.625.3447. 3rd Tuesday: Luncheon for Seniors 11am - 2pm at Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd., 636.561.8951 2nd Wednesday: Noon Luncheon Shiloh United Methodist Church, 1515 Hwy T, Foristell, 636.673.2144.


HEALTH January 9: Every Step of the Way - The First Step 5-6pm at Progress West Hospital, large conference room. Get answers about joint replacement surgery. 636.928.9355 or Cancer Survivor Fitness Program Free for all cancer patients and survivors. A 12-week program with trained instructors to help participants regain energy and improve stamina. St. Charles County Family YMCA, 636928-1928. Diabetes Self Management Training (DSMT) Available with a doctor’s order. 636.949.9600 or Patty Shelton at 636.947.5573.

Sudoku Solutions from page 10


December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT COMMUNITY NEWS • Community News - St. Charles County • December 25, 2013

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December 25, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Over the Fence

Joe Morice

My Resolve Stands Mute “Do you have a New Year’s resolution?” my nosy nemesis asked. I said, “I’m resolving not to mount a 50 -aliber machine gun on my car roof.” Nosy looked baffled. She said, “You were going put a machine gun on your car?” “Of course not.” “Wah…huh?” she stammered. “You’re not making sense.” I said, “It’s a lot easier than resolving to lose weight or quit driving over the speed limit.” “You’re a cop-out!” she barked. “You don’t even have a machine gun, do you?” “That’s true, but in case I get one, I resolve to not mount it on my car roof.” She made a growling noise that sounded like a rusty door hinge. As she threw up her hands and stomped away, I yelled, “You didn’t tell me what your resolution is!” Gee. What a grouch. An acquaintance sitting nearby asked, “How come you were mocking her? Don’t you like her?” “I can’t help myself. I call her my nemesis. Last time I saw her, she accused me of disliking women.” He backed up a bit and seemed suspicious. “Ummm…what’d you tell her?”

“I told her she was wrong. I like whichever ones have a good sense of humor, a great figure and a lot of money. She got mad and called me a male chauvinist pig.” He looked relieved. “You’ll never get anywhere with women with answers like that.” “Do you mean women with a sense of humor or without?” “Never mind,” he said. “Do you actually have a New Year’s resolution?” “I resolved not to mount a 50 caliber machine gun on my car roof.” He rolled his eyes and stomped away. New Year’s resolutions are okay but not if you can’t keep them and worse if you tell somebody what they are. Then while you’re feeling like a failure, they’ll laugh at you and make it worse. My advice is, never tell anyone what your real New Year’s resolutions are. If you succeed, great. If you don’t, nobody will know. Many years ago, I resolved to quit smoking. It turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. I assume smoking almost three packs a day had something to do with it. I didn’t tell anyone I quit until months later,

but my wife and children noticed. Grouchy was an understatement. I had turned into an ogre. Food tasted much better after I quit smoking, and I ate like a starving pig. My next New Year’s resolution was to lose weight. I didn’t tell anyone about that one either. It was a good thing I didn’t. I came up with this idea after asking one of my daughters what she wanted for Christmas. She said, “A mansion with a big swimming pool.” With raised eyebrows, I asked, “You sure Santa has doll mansions instead of doll houses?” She said, “You don’t understand, I want a real mansion so we can live in it and I can swim in the big swimming pool.” “You’ve been talking to your mother, haven’t you?” She was actually being clever. She probably figured if she asked for something ridiculous, she would get the big doll house she wanted. It’s where I got the idea of telling people I resolved something ridiculous like a machine gun on the car roof. It was easier than dieting or driving the speed limit. One might have an extended Big Mac attack or get run over by a semi doing 80 in a 60. I hereby resolve that everyone shall have a Happy New Year, but don’t tell anybody. Joe Morice is Community News’s blue-collar philosopher. He was born and raised in Missouri and spent most of his childhood on a farm and adulthood operating big machines. He has no formal training as a writer, unless 60 years of writing about any and everything counts. The opinions expressed in this column are Joe Morice’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

CNSTC: December 25, 2013  

St. Charles County Community News Community News, OFallon, St. Charles, St. Peters, Cottleville, Weldon Spring, Lake Saint Louis, Wentzvill...