November 29, 2023
Artistic heritage Local artist dedicated to African-American historical folklore returns to her alma mater as University City School District’s Returning Artist for the year
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By Wendy Todd As a little girl growing up near downtown St. Louis, Lisa Cage loved watching musicals on television. She would sing and dance along, envisioning herself as an entertainer. Unfortunately, there weren’t any opportunities for Cage to take professional lessons, so she continued singing, dancing and dreaming on her own until she went to University City High School. There, training in modern dance, jazz dance and theater arts and exposure to others who were living the life she’d been dreaming of, helped her realize that those dreams were possible for her too. “My dance teacher brought in Alvin McDuffie from the cast of ‘The Wiz’ on Broadway,” Cage said. “Meeting a professional dancer that looked like me was exciting.” That moment and the training she received at U City High School allowed her aspirations to blossom. After graduating, Cage, who now goes by Mama Lisa, got hired as a dancer with The Black Rep. Immersing in Black theatrical works and learning about African history set her on a life-changing path that led to her becoming a self-described “Pan African Folk Artist” who developed Fundisha Enterprises, a company that provides empowerment through the preservation of African culture and the celebration of performing arts traditions from the diaspora. “Fundisha Enterprises is an arts and academics education entity that provides classes, discourse and presentations styled as vignettes or main stage musicals focused on Africa, the Caribbean and African-American historical folklore,” she explained.”
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Weather FRIDAY Rain 46/36 SATURDAY Cloudy 51/42 Submitted photo: Mama Lisa performs at the Missouri History Museum as a local merchant from the township days in St. Louis.
Her work was recently recognized by The University City Municipal Commission on Arts & Letters which has named Cage, who is now known as Mama Lisa, as its Returning Artist for the 2023-24 school year. The commission hosted a reception honoring Mama Lisa on Nov. 11. Since 1994, the Commission’s Returning Artist program has recognized artistically renowned University City High School graduates by inviting them to return to their alma mater and share their work. The program encourages students to
investigate careers in the arts and enriches the district’s arts programs in schools. Mama Lisa performed for the U City High School students during the school’s Arts and Letters Returning Artist Series. It was an opportunity for her to revisit her roots and build awareness around the impact of African culture. “I feel overjoyed to have had the opportunity to return home,” Mama Lisa said. “I See ‘ARTISTIC’ page 2
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November 29, 2023 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
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2024 St. Louis Teen Talent Competition
hope the students will remember to value African cultural expression and its ongoing influence on the world.” That hope is central to Mama Lisa’s mission with her organization. She developed Fundisha Enterprises to fill a void in the St. Louis area regarding cultural arts activities for African-American children in the mid1990s. She’s motivated to continue her work by the vast number of untold stories about African heritage. When looking ahead to how Mama Lisa wants her work to be remembered she said, “My legacy will stand to reflect a quality effort and consistency towards fulfilling destiny’s call to never forget Mother Africa, her people, her technologies, her arts and her gifts to global humanity.”
Registration for the highly anticipated 2024 St. Louis Teen Talent Competition (Teen Talent) is open, and this year’s event promises to be a celebration of the remarkable talent and creativity of St. Louis’ top student performers. Presented by the Fox Performing Arts Charitable Foundation, the adjudicated competition has become a platform for high school students to celebrate their passion, dedication, and love of the performing arts while competing for scholarships and cash prizes, and it will take center stage at The Finals in March 2024, at the Fabulous Fox Theatre.
St. Louis County Older Resident Programs (CORP) is currently seeking volunteers for the upcoming tax season February-April. Volunteers are needed during the daytime hours, Monday to Friday, as appointment schedulers, greeters and tax preparers. No tax experience is required. Training will be provided in January. Mileage reimbursement is available. To learn more about volunteering contact, Laura Conners at 314-615-4435 or lconners@ stlouiscountymo.gov.
Teen Talent is free to participate in and is open to high school students that live within 50 miles of the Gateway Arch. Students must be enrolled in grades 9, 10, 11 or 12 during the 2023-2024 academic year to participate. Performers under the age of 18 will need a parent or guardian to submit a registration form. Registration for Teen Talent is open until Jan. 8, 2024. For more information about the 2024 St. Louis Teen Talent Competition, including registration details, coaching workshops and sponsorship opportunities, please visit STLTeenTalent.org.
Award-winning local Air Force band announces annual holiday concerts The US Air Force Band of Mid-America will present its annual “Spirit of the Season” holiday concerts in the St. Louis metro area at the following locations: • Fri, Dec 1: Kirkwood Performing Arts Center, 7 p.m. • Sat, Dec 2: Touhill Performing Arts Center, 7 p.m. • Dec 8: The Hett at McKendree University, 7 p.m. (Lebanon, Illinois) • Dec 9: The Hett at McKendree University, 1 p.m. and 7 p.m. (Lebanon, Illinois) • Dec 15: Mascoutah High School, 7 p.m. (Mascoutah, Illinois) • Dec 16: Mascoutah High School, 3 p.m.
(Mascoutah, Illinois) Admission to these holiday performances is free and open to the public, but tickets are required. Reserve your tickets today at afbandtix.com. This is a family-friendly, all-ages event. This year’s holiday series will feature a special guest reading of “The Christmas Truce” by USAF veteran Kathy Lawton Brown, host of Classic 107.3 FM. “The Christmas Truce” tells the story of a series of unofficial ceasefires that took place along with the Western Front of the First World War during Christmas of 1914. Additionally, Santa and Mrs. Claus will lead a performance of the Muppets’ song “Christmas is Coming,” and will be available to meet with young guests after
COMMUNITY VOICES:
the performance. A recorded version of a previous “Spirit of the Season” concert that has aired on over a dozen TV stations across the Midwest recently won the NATAS Mid-America Regional Emmy for Arts & Entertainment Long Form Content. The United States Air Force Band of Mid-America represents the professionalism and excellence found every day throughout the United States Air Force. During this concert you will hear many of your holiday favorites played by groups ranging in size and genre from our smaller quintets to our jazz band and concert band. All musicians are stationed at Scott AFB in Illinois.
By Dr. Larry A. Brown
You can do this I think we can agree that many of the conditions that exist in the world in which we live can be improved, eliminated or altered in such a way that we would give them a stamp of approval. Often, we hope that those who are in certain positions can affect the changes necessary to make these conditions tolerable. Often, we are disappointed at their lack of attention or the decisions that they make affecting the situation. Often, we feel that they have let us down or that they aren’t doing anything at all about the situation. I offer you this challenge: What are you doing? At this season of the year, I am reminded of the person who asked himself the same question when he had heard of the birth of the Christ Child. He said: “What can I give Him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd, I’d give Him a lamb. If I were a Wise Man, I’d do my part. Yet, what can I give Him? I’ll give Him my heart.” As you can see, the individual was intent on giving something, or participating in some way. Though he was limited in what
he could do, he found something positive to contribute. Often, that is all it takes. Sometimes, we elect not to participate because we feel that we are not needed and that someone else will handle the problem. Sometimes, we feel that with time, the problem will disappear. Sometimes, we may feel that the problem doesn’t need our involvement and sometimes, we feel that we are inadequate to participate. The fact of the matter is our participation may be just what is needed. Many of the issues, situations and problems that exist today can be handled and resolved if we only decide to participate in some way, no matter what our station in life may be at the time. What a sense of importance and what a good feeling to know that you helped in some manner, to solve a situation that affects others. It is important to restore the sense of self-involvement and that each person’s voice is important. It is important for the community as well as the individual for participation and involvement.
There are so many issues that need attention that there should not be any problem finding one that you are passionate about. If, however, you need some help deciding which issues to become involved with, don’t hesitate to discuss your interests with a friend or with us. We can be reached at www.gracechapelministries.org or email us at gracechapeldevelopment@gmail.com. You can do this! Dr. Larry A. Brown is a retired Chairman of the Board and co-founder of Worknet, Inc., which has a national ten-year contract with the Social Security Administration to find jobs for people with disabilities who are interested and qualified to enter the traditional workforce. He is also co-founder and president of Grace Chapel Ministries, former president of National Cable Training Centers, and president of Woodstock Industrial Products Group. The opinions expressed in this column are the columnist’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • November 29, 2023
November students of the month Parkway North Phillip has many extracurricular activities. Some of the many are: Charater.org, National Leadership Academy, National Honor Society, Mu Alpha Theta, Beta Chi Pi, HOSA and has also been a SLU researcher in biochemistry. He is very active in community service. He is a junior board member and volunteer at Ranken Jordan Hospital. He volunteers at the Harvey Kornblum Jewish Food Pantry. Furthermore, he is the founding president of the Red Cross Club at his high school. Phillip has received many awards and honors. He is a national merit semifinalist. Three times he has been all conference tennis player of the year. MSA selected scholar, boys state selection. He has also received several math and science awards. Pattonville Yashika Raja is a senior at Pattonville
High School. With a 4.8 GPA, Yashika is ranked in the top 10 of the senior class and has taken AP and honors classes in math, science, history, and English. She is a member of Student Council, Rho Kappa, National English Honors Society. Yashika holds the role of Community Outreach Officer for the Science National Honors Society, Secretary of Girls in Physics, she is the current Historian and former Secretary of National Honors Society and is the former Secretary and current President of the Board Student Administrative Action Committee. Additionally, Yashika has completed community service hours with the St. Louis Area Foodbank, St. Louis County Library and the Tamil School of Missouri. Yashika is a well-rounded student, excelling in all of her courses while being excited and curious to learn.
Updated COVID vaccine, flu and RSV vaccines now available at Affinia Healthcare With the fall season, comes the arrival of cooler temperatures, warm autumn colors on the trees and respiratory ailments. Affinia Healthcare has received this year’s COVID vaccines, which are designed to protect against the latest strains of the virus. The community health center also has this season’s influenza vaccine, which can be administered at the same time as the COVID-19 booster vaccine.
• Flu and COVID vaccines are also provided on a walk-in basis at the Affinia Healthcare Urgent Care at 2220 Lemp Avenue. Usual urgent care visit fees apply.
A new exhibition at the Stephen and Peter Sachs Museum (located in the Missouri Botanical Garden) explores the 19th century herbarium of beloved poet Emily Dickinson through a 21st-century, eco-feminist lens. This Earthen Door is a collaboration between artists Amanda Marchand and Leah Sobsey that reimagines the pages of Dickinson’s herbarium using a plant-based printing method from Dickinson’s time. The exhibition also features the two artists’ own interpretation of a 21st century herbarium that tells the story of Dickinson’s world through flowers. Complementing the exhibition, on Dec. 10 in honor of Emily Dickinson’s birthday, reenactor Emily Stembridge will be bringing Dickinson’s poetry and personal letters to life with two performances at the Sachs Musuem. The temporary exhibition will be on display in the South Gallery of the Sachs Museum through March 31, 2024. Entrance to the museum is included with garden admission. Visit mobot.org/museum for hours. Long before becoming one of histo-
ry’s most influential poets, Emily Dickinson captured the beauty of the botanical world by collecting, pressing, drying, and classifying the plants she grew in her garden into a bound, book-like herbarium. Her love for plants can be found not only in these cherished pages, but in poems such as “Between My Country—and the Others—”. As an homage to Dickinson’s herbarium, Marchand and Sobsey created prints using collected samplings from 66 species grown in Dickinson's garden and their Submitted photo own gardens. They then coated sheets of paper with photosensitive extracts from these plants, and digital negatives from Dickinson’s own herbarium, which is kept at Harvard University, were laid on these coated sheets and exposed to the sun for several weeks. The result is a plant-based, camera-less print known as an anthotype. The exhibition also features the artists’ own herbarium consisting of color schemas made from plants. Each color schema tells a story of plants and the story of color through an art form the artists have named Chromotaxy.
NOTICE SCHOOL BOARD ELECTIONS Public No�ce of Filing
• The COVID-19 vaccines are available for individuals six-months-old and up.
• Vaccines will be provided on a walkin basis Wednesday through Friday at the Affinia Healthcare Salvation Army-Midtown Midtown Services and Treatment Center at 2900 Washington Avenue. Operating hours are posted on the website: www.affiniahealthcare.org/vaccines.
Exhibition explores art and science of Emily Dickinson’s herbarium
LADUE SCHOOL DISTRICT 9703 Conway Road | Saint Louis, MO 63124
Please note:
• There is no out-of-pocket cost to receive a vaccine from Affinia Healthcare. For those with insurance, the community health center is asking that patients present proof of coverage so that the insurance company is billed. Patients who are uninsured or have Medicaid insurance can receive the COVID and flu vaccine at the health centers.
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Submitted photo: A nurse with Affinia Healthcare administers a vaccine to Ollie Stewart, executive director of the Southside Wellness Center at a recent vaccination event at the facility. COVID, flu and RSV vaccines are available at Affinia Healthcare.
• RSV vaccines are strongly encouraged for pregnant women and individuals 60-years-of-age and older. Pregnant women may receive during prenatal care. Patients over 60 can schedule an appointment for a prescription for the RSV vaccine. • RSV antibodies are recommended for newborns. Appointments are available for discussion and administration if indicated. • Patients can request vaccines as part of a scheduled appointment. To schedule an appointment or for more information, please call 314-814-8700.
The Ladue School District encourages qualified persons interested in running for a posi�on on the school board to file to be a candidate in the April 2, 2024, elec�on. There are two Ladue Schools Board of Educa�on director posi�ons available; each director will serve a three-year term. Interested persons may file at the Ladue School District Administra�on Center, 9703 Conway Road, Saint Louis, MO 63124. Missouri Statute establishes filing �mes and dates for Board of Educa�on candidates. Filing will begin on Tuesday, Dec. 5, 2023, at 8 a.m., and will con�nue during the district’s regular business hours, which are Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. except for the first and last day of filing and Dec. 20, 2023, when the office closes at 2 p.m. Filing will not occur on days that the school district’s administra�ve offices are closed due to inclement weather, holidays, and breaks.* *The Administra�on Center will be closed for Winter Break from Dec. 21, 2023, through Jan. 3, 2024. The Administra�on Center will open on Dec. 26, 2023, from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Filing will end on Dec. 26, 2023, at 5 p.m. Candidates must file a Declara�on of Candidacy form, available at the Administra�on Center, sta�ng that the candidate is a ci�zen of the United States, at least 24 years of age, a resident taxpayer of the Ladue School District who has resided in the district, and the State of Missouri for one year preceding the elec�on, and not serving a sentence or period of proba�on for a felony or a crime that if commi�ed in Missouri would be a felony. Candidates must comply with Elec�on Campaign Expenditures Law filing procedures. For more informa�on about school board candidate filing, please contact the Superintendent’s Office at 314.994.7080.
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Around Town
November 29, 2023 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
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City of Hazelwood restores leaf collection services Hazelwood City Manager Matt Zimmerman announced the city has reinstated its popular leaf collection program. Crews will begin collection, per a defined schedule, starting the week of Nov. 27 and ending the week of Dec. 25. “Residents have constantly been asking for the restoration of leaf collection since we ended it in 2019,” Zimmerman stated. “While it was not something we wanted to do, our financial condition at the time mandated a reduction of expenses. Unfortunately, leaf collection was one of many programs we were forced to end.” Zimmerman noted that citizens should make themselves aware of the rules and regulations regarding leaf
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collection. “Some of the rules include raking the leaves to the curb and not in the street, having the leaves in place by Monday morning of the scheduled collection week, and ensuring vehicles parked on the street are not blocking the street department from access to the leaves. “ The city is emphasizing that only leaves will be picked up. All piles must be free of debris, grass clippings, trash, metal or other objects. Crews will not collect the pile if it detects items other that leaves. To view the schedule and find out more, go to www. hazelwoodmo.gov, click on the “Services” tab at the top of the page and then go to “Leaf Collection.”
Still In This Together:
By Vicki Bahr
We need a little Christmas
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I balked. Of course, I balked. It was early October, very early October. My sister had just given me a lambasting for having our entire house, outside included, already decked out for Halloween. And then daughter Becca sent me an email showing me the very cute wooden plaque she had found with a Christmas tree on it and a moveable snowflake that counts down the 25 days until Christmas. Granted, she’s just thrilled to be anywhere by herself now that the four-year-old twins, Ellis and Brady, are in preschool for a few hours on Mondays and Thursdays, and she’s getting more done in 15 minutes by herself than she has in entire days for the past four years (her exact words). She’s giddy just going to Target by herself and only having to buckle and unbuckle one seat belt in the process, but I still balked at the idea that Christmas has been so blatantly shoved in our faces so early this year, and I think I muttered something under my breath about them needing to put 75 numbers on the Christmas tree to count down instead of 25. Okay, I’ll admit that part of my irritation came from the fact that I love Halloween and wanted to be able to enjoy it without the distraction of other upcoming holidays that insist on barging in way too early, but I think every holiday should have the same generous attention applied to it that Christmas is getting this year. Truth be told, I love Christmas as much as the next person. I’ve been known to turn Christmas music on in the middle of summer just to get the dreaded dusting chore completed, much to the chagrin of my husband, who generally finds some outdoors chore to attend to, and I’ve never once grumbled when the local radio stations become
“All Christmas Music, All The Time” before Thanksgiving. I’m also very aware that part of my reluctance to bend to the Christmas in October theory was just plain fear. Halloween was going to be easy compared to facing our first Christmas away from all our familiar memories and the faint whispers of Christmases past that we left behind in every nook and cranny of our old home. There were babies’ first Christmases there, and excited screams when Barbie houses and Big Wheels, banana-seated bicycles and Merry Go Round purchased sweatshirts came into view. I admit that I was nervous that Christmas as we knew it wouldn’t follow us to our new address. But then life in general reared its ugliness a little more than we expected this year. News reports and politics, uprisings and earthquakes and chaos have us all paralyzed and questioning just what has gone wrong and how we can possible click our ruby-slippered heels and find our way back home. I’ve found myself wondering how people fresh from the December attack on Pearl Harbor staggered through the uncertainty of Christmas at war. How did they do it? I wonder if maybe we could all use a little Christmas earlier than usual this year; a sense of purpose and wonder, a certainty that years from now, the memories we’re making these days and the work even the least of us is putting in to try to make the world a better place will matter. So I brought up the Christmas bins way too early, in an effort to rush the season of peace and awe, unboxed the Christmas tree, and found a place for the ornaments and the lights and the Victorian houses to be happily appreciated. The snowman riding in his sled is on the front porch, and seems pretty pleased with the new audience that passes by each day. Maybe, just maybe, the snowman’s little show of normalcy is making someone smile in the midst of these uncertain days. Christmas has a way of doing just that. Thank God. Vicki Bahr is an inveterate word lover and story sharer, a published author in magazine, newspaper and blog forms. As a mom of four, grandma of nine, and wife of one for 50 years, she finds that inspiration and wonder are everywhere. The opinions expressed in this column are the columnist’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
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November 29, 2023 • Community News • www.mycnews.com
ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE
BY AVALANCHE
– SUDOKU –
Moving on The last of the fall colors still cling to the trees, awaiting the next storm that will strip them away, leaving the bare branches of that in-between time of late fall and early winter. Most of the firewood is stacked, but the cold night temperatures remind me that another pickup load would be a wise acquisition. The bulk of the summer tourists have gone, while the last of the leaf watchers are still recreating and camping in the remote regions, getting ready to head back to warmer climes before the brilliant colors give way to the white of winter’s snow. Hunting season will soon come and go, ushering the mountains into the full grip of winter. Some other things have moved on, such as an iconic local business, which traded hands during the worst days of the pandemic lockdowns. A not-quite-a-billionaire bought it at a fire-sale price from the previous owners. Three years later, the business is about to be liquidated; a local realtor called the previous owner and asked where the water shut-off valve was located, so he could winterize the building. Maybe the new owner didn’t need that much of a tax write-off after all.
Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.
Some long-time local individuals have gone away, or are packing up and getting ready to do so. Carol, a friend who has cut my hair since I had a lot of it (three decades ago I had quite a nice, thick patch of the stuff) sold her house and is about to head to the Ozarks. She’s 70, and is ready to start on a new adventure. One neighborhood family sold their place (in a matter of hours) and headed to the other side of the mountains to be with family. Not all the departures were voluntary; a former co-worker and well-known first responder died in a car crash recently. He saved a many lives, but also carried SEE ANSWERS ON STC PG. 7
‘ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE’ continued on F2
‘The Marvels’ keeps it simple
C Movie: By Mat DeKinder
oncern trolling Marvel Studios has become a cottage industry as of late, thanks primarily to the creative and relative financial shortcomings of both their movies and television shows over the past couple of years. A fair amount of that concern has been warranted as superhero fatigue has started to set in with audiences, as studios give comic book fans more and more and more of what they want; favoring quantity on corporate earnings reports over quality, creatively-entertaining products. Meeting at this nexus is “The Marvels,” a movie that is both a sequel and the first graduation of heroes introduced in Marvel television shows onto the big screen. The result is a solid Marvel movie that, while it doesn’t achieve the level of a must-see cinematic experience, does stand out above most of what’s been coming down the Marvel pike recently. The movie centers on Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (Brie Larson), a test-pilot imbued with awesome cosmic powers who
Photo courtesy Marvel Studios
we first met in “Captain Marvel” and who spends most of her time traveling around the galaxy righting wrongs. Proceedings kick off when Carol’s powers get entangled with Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris), the daughter of Carol’s best friend who was introduced in “WandaVision” and Kamala Khan (Iman Vellani), a teenage superhero who is obsessed with Captain Marvel and was introduced in “Ms. Marvel.” The three heroes inconveniently swap places with each other whenever they use their powers, so they are forced to team up to figure out how to untangle their powers all while try-
ing to thwart Dar-Benn (Zawe Ashton), an alien who will go to any length to save her own dying planet while seeking as much retribution against Captain Marvel as she can along the way. “The Marvels” has a lot of charm as writer/director Nia DaCosta brings a creative flair to the film seen in moments like the opening fight scene where everyone’s powers first get tangled and different characters pop in and out of three different battles taking place in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, on the deck of a space station and in the living room of an apartment in Jersey City. There are also some genuinely
funny moments like a visit to a planet where all language is sang instead of spoken and quite possibly the most hilarious Andrew Lloyd Webber needle drop of all time. The cast keeps things above boards as well as the chemistry between the three leads is fun to watch, especially Vellani and her fangirl energy. Plus you have Samuel L. Jackson running around doing Samuel L. Jackson things and holding down the center of the film as Nick Fury. On the down side, Dar-Benn is kind of a weak villain and when the movie shifts away from practical sets with actual humans to an overstimulating, computer-generated mishmash, we see some of Marvel’s more recent bad habits take the audience out of the movie. The takeaway from “The Marvels” for Marvel Studios is that it’s ok to make a stand-alone movie that’s nothing more than an entertaining romp through space with enjoyable characters. Sometimes simpler is better. “The Marvels” is rated PG13 for action/violence and brief language.
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November 29, 2023 • Community News • www.mycnews.com
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CROSSWORD: THE 1980'S
‘ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE' from F1 the burden of the trauma of those he couldn’t save. He will be missed. Some of those who are moving on have asked when I might go. After all, it is a lot of work to live here in these mountains. The crowds, and all the baggage that they bring have changed life in this region quite a bit. The cost of living is becoming untenable, and for those of us who moved here to get away from all of the urban strife, it is quite discouraging. It is a frequent topic of conversation among those who have been here for a long time. Interestingly, four households here in our small neighborhood either have property in the Ozarks, or family members who do. We’ve all thought of heading there, and at some point, some of us, like my friend Carol, very well might pick up and go. The pace is slower, the cost of living is far more reasonable, and for lack of a better way of putting it, it’s still America there. Having said that, this place still has an almost magical draw. The scenery is astounding, and our little community in a somewhat-remote valley is unique in that everyone knows pretty much everyone else in the neighborhood of about 50 homes. We don’t have cell coverage, and don’t really want it. There are no through streets here;
Moore on Life
in effect it’s just a big cul-de-sac. Wildlife still abounds nearby, and the harsh weather keeps the squatters from setting up in the woods for long. One doesn’t have to go far to find all the hassles of city living, but we’re still isolated from it, even if just by a few miles. More than one neighbor has put their home on the market for a little while, thought better of it, and cancelled the listing; they decided to keep their places, because once you leave, you’ll never get it back. As for me, I’ll be staying, at least for a while longer; the urban sprawl is inexorably progressing, but we still have it pretty good – for a reminder, all I have to do is look out the window. Avalanche is a functional illiterate who left the St. Louis area three decades ago in search of adventure. He enjoys motorcycling and all things outdoors. He lives with his wife and dogs. The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
By Cindy Moore
I
t’s the month for gluttony so what a ridiculous time to reduce the amount of frosting in between one of the most beloved cookies on the planet – Oreos. Yes, the scandal has surfaced and you can hear the complaints everywhere as people start to dip their favorite cookie into their milk: “Hey, what’s the big idea? Where’s the middle stuff?” “Help! I’ve been robbed. My filling has been replaced with a thin coating of White-out across the center.” Some people have compared it to the apocalypse others blame it on aliens, while more sane groups have attributed it to manufacturers trying to maintain profit margins amid the rising costs. Yup, this is where companies try and pull a fast one to increase their bottom line as they snooker the consumer into believing nothing’s changed. It’s called shrinkflation. But I’m on to them. When I get a 12-ounce bag of chips and open it to find mostly air and hardly any chips I get mad. So mad, that I immediately fall back on my seventh-grade math skills to see exactly how much they’ve swindled me out of. But of course, I soon realize that x over y is of absolutely no practical use for this problem or any other problem in my daily life. Hmm, that may be all part of the plot. So while the plot is thickening, the frosting in between the cookie is not. This is how I discovered shrinkflation: I went to the store to pick up a few things and reached for a box of my favorite cereal. The front of the box looked as big as usual and the price was still the same. Aha, I thought. Those sneaky shrinkflators haven’t got ahold of this yet. The next day my husband opened the box and
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Cookie-gate poured himself a bowl of cereal. I asked him to pour me some too. “No can do. It’s a single serving.” “What?! That can’t be,” I said staring into the empty box. “Yup, they filled it with air, but you should be thankful.” “Thankful? For ripping us off?” “Not so fast,” he said. “I figure we got the best part of the deal. Do you know how much they charge for air at the service station nowadays?” I guess it’s also the month for gratitude. Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder. The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
ACROSS 1. *"Heaven's on Fire" band 5. *Setting of "Cheers" TV show 8. Derive 13. "I'm ____ you!" 14. Gas station brand 15. Affirmatives 16. Image in Orthodox Church 17. *Robert Wagner or Stephanie Powers, on TV 18. *Vote for H.W. Bush, e.g. 19. *Weird Al's last name 21. Forum, pl. 22. Dog-____ book 23. Clingy plant 24. Spiky succulent 27. Accumulates (2 words) 31. Turkish military leader 32. Consequence 35. *Wintour of Vogue 36. Zoroaster follower 38. E in B.C.E. 39. #53 Down, third person singular 40. Do like exhaust pipe 41. Hertz' offering 43. Extra cost 44. Expert, in U.K. (2 words) 46. *Ricky Martin's boy band 48. Arrival time acronym
49. *Piano player Lee Curreri on "Fame" 51. *Baltimore player 53. *Mikhail Gorbachev's policy 56. Recipient of money 57. *Umberto Eco's "The ____ of the Rose" 58. Oration station 60. Some tournaments 61. In the thick of 62. Place, in French 63. Not at all good 64. Bitty 65. Other than what is DOWN 1. Ornamental pond dweller 2. Deep black 3. Greek promenade 4. Shakespeare's output 5. * Lou Reed's "Home of the ____" 6. Like thick smoke 7. Campus military org. 8. Attractive to look at 9. *"Back to the Future" car 10. One on drugs 11. Cecum, pl. 12. Is, in Paris 14. "A horse is ____ ____, of course, of course" 20. Resin-producing tree 23. Took the bait 24. *Christopher Reeve's sartorial style
in "Superman II" 25. Old World lizard 26. Indigenous person from Suriname or Guyana 27. Surveyor's map 28. Mix-up 29. Not married 30. Promenade in Spain 33. Tournament ranking 34. Remains container 37. *Washington's volcano Mount ____ ____ 39. *Close of "The Big Chill" 41. Genetic initials 42. Entertained 45. Affirm to be true 47. Cavatappi or udon, sing. 49. Scapegoat's due 50. Fiber crop variety 51. Head of family 52. Deed hearing 53. Chew on 54. Schooner canvas 55. *TV's "Family ____" 56. Sound of explosion 59. *"Peggy ____ Got Married"
SEE ANSWERS ON STC PG. 7