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July 13, 2011

November 20, 2013

Vol 13 No 28

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Delicious Stuffing Dishes

Around Town


Broemmelsiek Park Projects

Bryan Road Interchange Photo courtesy of MoDot, Page Constructors and Parsons

Route 364 Page Phase 3 Project Underway in Western St. Charles County By Amanda Bretz St. Charles County and the local municipalities have teamed together to allocate $118.2 million towards building Route 364 Page Phase 3. The $118.2 million will be used for purchasing property, utility relocations, design and construction. The project includes building an improved connection from Page Phase 2 at Route 94 and Mid Rivers Mall Drive to I-64/US Route 40/61 at Route N. MoDOT used a Design-Build contracting process to have contractor teams compete to win the contract. The Missouri Highways and Transportation Commission approved the contract earlier this year, awarding the project to the Page Constructors Joint Venture, including Fred Weber Inc., Millstone-Bangert Inc., Kolb Grading with lead designer Parsons Transportation Group. Page Constructors is designing and building a four-lane, divided freeway for nine miles from Route 94 at Mid Rivers Mall Drive in St Peters to Interstate 64 in Lake Saint Louis. The project is being built over 18 months and the new highway will include the following details: additional ramps connecting Route 94 and Mid Rivers Mall Drive to Route 364, a bridge over Motherhead Road, Gutermuth Road bridge over Route 364, Single Point interchange at Route K with widening Route K to six lanes north and south of the interchange, a folded diamond at Bryan Road with north outer road extended from Stump Road to Bryan

Road, a bridge over Hanley Road, a bridge over Henke Road with ramps to and from the east, and new ramps to complete the cloverleaf interchange at I-64. C onstruction began on Route 364 Page Phase 3 this summer and will continue for the next year. During this time, MoDOT’s aim is to get the work done on the project with as minimal impact to drivers as possible. “In general, most of the lane closures on any streets that cross the new Route 364 are being done during off-peak. We have almost no lane closures during rush hours, so overall, the impact to traffic is very limited,” said Linda Wilson Horn, community relations coordinator at MoDOT’s St. Louis office. “We sometimes close lanes overnight from 7pm - 5am; however, the night work is getting less and less as we get into the cold winter months,” she continued. Officials with MoDOT said that later this winter construction will begin to build the new Route 364 bridges over the existing Highway K. During this phase of the project, one lane may be closed, possibly in each direction, on Route K at the new bridge during the middle of the day and overnight. The Route 364 Page Phase 3 is sched-

uled to open in sections in the fall of 2014. I-64 to Bryan Road will open at the end of August 2014. Bryan Road to Route K will open in early October 2014. Route K to Route 94 will open at the end of October 2014. The entire project is scheduled to be complete by late November 2014. For more information about Route 364 Page Phase 3, visit projects/route364upgrade.htm.

“... later this winter construction will begin to build the new Route 364 bridges over the existing Highway K.”

Lincoln County Life


Ladies Night Out



WSD Celebrated Veterans Day

Thor: The Dark World photo courtesy of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures


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Around Town


November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Vol. 92 No. 47

In This Issue... 2

Around Town your guide to good news and events like JDRF Rallies


Lincoln County Life the latest Lincoln County news and events


Business A new theatre is opening in St. Charles and more business information


School SCC professor’s award and more school news


Movie “Thought it’s good to see Chris Hemsworth wielding Thor’s hammer once again, The Dark World is a bit disappointing compared to the previous Marvel films,” writes Steve Bryan


Sports and Learn & Play Book Buzz, Sudoku, and local sport authority Gary B fills you in on the weekend’s sporting events.


Recipes Delicious Stuffing Dishes


What’s Happening the only events calendar you need to stay entertained all week long




Over the Fence Joe Morice is to Community News readers what Wilson was to Tim Taylor: enjoy a fresh perspective from our in-house blue-collar philosopher.

JDRF Rallies During National Diabetes Awareness Month November is National Diabetes Awareness Month, a time to bring attention to a terrible disease. T1D is an autoimmune disease that strikes both children and adults. Unrelated to diet or lifestyle, T1D causes lifelong dependence on injected insulin and carries the constant worry of life-threatening complications like nerve damage, blindness, amputation, stroke, heart attack and kidney failure. It requires intensive, never-ending management. One of JDRF’s greatest supporters is St. Peters resident Jonathon Biondo (holding sign). There are NO days off. Insulin is a He is 13 and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes this year. Photo by Dave Myers therapy. It is NOT a cure. JDRF is formerly the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Visit them online at

Classic Christmas Choir Concerts The Choral Arts Singers, directed by Amy Gatschenberger will present “A Classic Christmas” featuring the choral works of John Rut-

ter on Saturday, December 7 at Transfiguration Episcopal Church in Lake St. Louis at 7:30pm, and on Sunday, December 8 at Assumption Chapel in O’Fallon, MO at 3pm. A third concert will be presented Friday, December 13 at Immanuel UCC in Wright City under the sponsorship of the Warren County Arts Council. The Choral Arts Singers are part of the local Concert Arts Association which draws membership from St. Charles, St. Louis, Lincoln and Warren counties. Please visit the website at www.concertarts. org or contact Paul Godt at 636.745.8161 for further information.

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November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

4th Annual LSLPOA Holiday Charity Drive The Lake St. Louis Police Officer’s Association is going to deliver food to less fortunate families again this Thanksgiving. The food items will include an uncooked turkey as well as all of the trimmings and the pan to cook it in. We will also be sponsoring local school children again this Christmas. The 2012 Thanksgiving charity drive was very successful, and we would like to continue the tradition. The Holiday Charity Drive began Monday, November 11 and will continue until Tuesday, December 24. We are asking that you please do not send food items or clothing as we do not have a storage facility. If you would like to make a tax deductible donation to go toward our mission you can send a donation to: Lake St. Louis Police Officer’s Association 6290 Ronald Reagan Dr. Suite 267 Lake St. Louis, Mo. 63367 Attn: Gary McIntyre Please contact Gary McIntyre with any questions 314.322.1600 or visit Anyone who makes a donation will receive a thank you letter with the amount on it for tax purposes. Please be sure to write Holiday Drive on the memo line of your check.

Local Author Open House Features Metro-Area Talent The St. Charles City-County Library District will host a much-anticipated Local Author Open House on Thursday, November 21, featuring 55 area authors. The 5:30pm event at the MiddendorfKredell Branch Library in O’Fallon provides a great opportunity to speak with authors who write a variety of genres and purchase their books as Christmas and other gifts for those avid readers on your shopping list. Refreshments will also be provided. Register online at under the Program and Events tab or call 636.978.7926. Participating authors include Community News’s own staff writer Amanda Bretz with her romance novel Finding Justus. The library is located at 2750 Highway K, O’Fallon.

Crider 1st Annual Seasons of Giving Crider Health Center kicked off its 1st Annual Seasons of Giving program on November 4. The Seasons of Giving program includes a coat drive to provide the gift of warmth from the harsh winter elements. Coat donations will be accepted November 4 - 29. “Over the last nine years, Crider has provided coats for needy children participating in various programs and services that Crider provides through our Coats for Crider program. However, we have seen an increased need for adult coats,” said Shaunna Shaw, development associate at Crider Health Center. “To provide the gift of warmth to adults in need, we have expanded our Coats for Crider program and are accepting donations of new and gently used young adult/adult coats at multiple locations across the region.” The community is encouraged to drop off new and gently used young adult and adult sized coats to one of the following locations: Drop Off Locations Crider Health Center - 1032 Crosswinds Court - Wentzville Crider Health Center - 546 First Capitol Drive - St. Charles Crider Health Center - 19515 Brune Parkway – Warrenton Elm Dental - 3820 Elm Street - St. Charles Troy Family Dental - 128 Professional Parkway – Troy Lockhaven Golf Club - 10872 Lawrence Keller Drive – Godfrey Gym Quarters - 92 Hubble Road - O’Fallon American Family Insurance Bill Voss Agency, Inc. - 16024 Manchester Rd Ellisville Give the gift of joy and warmth to someone in need this holiday season. To learn more about Crider Health Center’s Seasons of Giving program, or to make a donation, please contact Shaunna Shaw at 636.332.8352.

Volunteer Tax Preparers Needed

The Internal Revenue Service, AARP and the Gateway EITC Community Coalition are looking for volunteers from St. Louis and surrounding counties to provide free tax counseling and basic income tax return preparation next filing season. Accounting experience is not required, but volunteers will need basic computer skills to complete the IRS Volunteer Program e-learning course. Free training and all the materials needed for volunteers to prepare basic individual income tax returns for low- to moderateincome and disabled taxpayers who cannot prepare their own tax returns are provided. Once certified, volunteers are asked to give as little as four hours per week between the months of February and April. For more information or to volunteer with the Gateway EITC Community Coalition in St. Louis City, St. Louis County, St. Charles, or Jefferson counties, contact Russ Signorino at or 314.539.4062. For more information or to volunteer with the AARP in St. Louis City and county, contact John Arenberg, at aarptax@ or 314.329.7973. In Lincoln, St. Charles and Warren counties, contact Rick Gibb, at or 636.265.0855, More information about the IRS volunteer tax preparation programs is available at www., keywords Tax Volunteer. • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013

Broemmelsiek Park Projects Phase III construction and development at Broemmelsiek Park continues to progress. Crews have been busy grading and excavating the new park entrance off Highway DD, installing a paved trail around the newly renovated Betty’s Lake and creating new roads and parking areas as part of the new growth. Additional picnic shelters are also being installed around the lake. The large group shelter under conThe off-leash area Photo courtesy St. Charles County Parks and Recreation Department struction will accommodate up to 300 guests and a Broemmelsiek Park has nearly doubled in size. second shelter will accommodate 100 guests. Voted Best Dog Park in St. Louis by the RiverRenovations are also being made to the day- front Times, the Off-Leash Dog Area has been use Visitor’s Center which overlooks Betty’s Lake. expanded from 2.5 acres to nearly 5 acres in size. The existing building, once the home of Jack and It’s also the home of the St. Charles County Parks Betty Broemmelsiek, will feature educational ex- and Recreation Department’s annual Paws in the hibits for the public and school groups to tour Park celebration which will take place on Sepand two small meeting rooms for park guests to tember 20, 2014. reserve throughout the year. The exterior renovaFor more information, visit tions to the center should be completed by the or contact the St. Charles County Parks and Recend of the year, and the interior renovations are reation Department at 636.949.7535. scheduled to begin in 2014. A new bridge crossing that links the new Phase III construction to the existing park development is also being built near Shelter 6 in the park. The bridge will make it easy for park guests to get from the day-usevisitors center to the Astronomy Viewing Area and over to the Off-Leash Dog Area. The Off-Leash Dog Area at

Around Town


Support U.S. Paralympics and Disabled Athlete Sport Association’s “Gateway to Gold”

At the “Skate with Team USA” event, the St. Louis-based Disabled Athlete Sports Association received a $30,000 donation on behalf of BP St. Louis-area station owners.

St. Louis BP station owners combined forces to launch a fundraising campaign to support the Disabled Athlete Sports Association (DASA). DASA will apply the funds raised from the campaign toward the new “Gateway to Gold” program, a U.S. Paralympics initiative for identifying and recruiting Paralympic eligible athletes who show an ability to compete in the future at an elite level. Together, BP station owners, Branded Marketers and their customers have donated more than $500,000 to Paralympic Sport Clubs across the country since 2011.

Where Christma s Pa st

Comes To Life

Opening Ceremony Friday, November 29 at 11am • Gazebo in 400 blk. South Main


Saturdays & Opening Day 11am-9pm • Sundays 12-5pm Wednesdays & Fridays 6:30-9pm • Christmas Eve 11am-2pm

International Santas and the Legends of Christmas

Clydesdale Photo Opportunity*

Interact with our many International Santas Saturday, November 30 Noon to 2pm Colonnade North Main Street and the Legends of Christmas *Weather permitting during all festival hours.

Santa Parade

Saint Charles Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony November 29 at 5pm Berthold Square, in the 200 block of South Main Street

Shopping by Sparkling Lights Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays 6:30 to 9pm

Opening Day (November 29) at 1:30pm • Saturdays and Sundays at 1:30pm Parade route is from 1000 South Main to Berthold Square

November 29 - December 24, 2013 636-946-7776 For A List Of Christmas Traditions Events Visit Our Website

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November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Professional Business Women of Lincoln County Ladies Night Out The Professional Business Women of Lincoln County is hosting its 6th Annual Ladies Night Out. The event will take place on Friday, November 22 from 6:30-9:30pm at the Troy Knights of Columbus Hall located at 500 Highway J in Troy. For more information, contact Lacy Vandivort at 636.528.6088 or Leanna Kerker at 636.462.8534.

Annual Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot Planned in Troy The 8th Annual Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot to benefit the Troy Community Concert Band and the Bread For Life Food Pantry will take place on Thanksgiving Day, Thursday, November 28. Costs of attendance is $12.50/person plus food donation for anyone registering by Saturday, November 23. Registrations in person or postmarked from Sunday, November 24 up to event day are $20.00/person. Registration forms are available at Lincoln County Music Supply, located at 681 S. Lincoln Drive in Troy and at the Troy Convention and Visitors Bureau, located at 850 E. Cherry Street in Troy. For more information, please call 636.528.5744.


Classic Carfest Raises $13,800 for Maggie Welby Foundation EPC, Inc., the largest professional electronics recycler and IT Asset Management (ITAM) firm in Missouri and one of the largest in the country, raised $13,800 for the Maggie Welby Foundation at its 12th annual EPC Classic Carfest in October. EPC has raised nearly $130,000 for St. Charles area charities since it began the Classic Carfest in 2002. The Maggie Welby Foundation, which seeks to aid students in grades K-12 and families in financial need in order to help fulfill the dreams

New Theatre in St. Charles

and hopes that Maggie realized in every person she touched during her life. More information about the foundation, which is located in Dardenne Prairie in St. Charles County, is available at or by calling 314.330.6947. The EPC Classic Carfest has become a fall tradition for many families who enjoy seeing a wide range of vintage vehicles in a festive atmosphere. The annual Carfest is powered by volunteers and monetary contributions acquired through corporate sponsors, vendors, raffles and registration fees. More information about the EPC Classic Carfest is available at

AMC Theatres has entered into an agreement to bring a new 40,000 sq ft, state-of-the-art 8-screen theatre complex to the mixed-used development, which will open in Fall 2014. The theatre will occupy space adjacent to the 1,250-space parking garage that opened in October and will be part of the new 400,000 sq ft mixeduse residential/retail/entertainment building that is currently under construction, with phase one completed. “AMC will be a great addition to the center, as it becomes a new beacon for both the project and the city along I-70 as you cross the river and enter St. Charles.” said Cullinan Properties Partner and Chief Operating Officer, Christopher West. “This comfortable, upscale theatre facility will be the perfect enhancement to the overall live, work, shop and dine experience our guests enjoy when they visit Streets of St. Charles.” AMC will join a prominent mix of retail, restaurant and office tenants already at Streets of St. Charles, located at I-70 and South Fifth Street. Restaurants include Tucanos Brazilian Grill, Prasino and Five Guys Burgers & Fries, in addition to retail and office tenants - MassageLuXe, Streets of St. Charles Dental, Wamhoff Financial Planning, Brown Smith Wallace, Cole and the Art Institute of St. Louis. In the spring of 2014, Bar Louie will bring their famous signature cocktails and exceptional selection of prepared foods to Streets of St. Charles. “AMC’s theatre is going to be a phenomenal addition to the Streets of St. Charles, further enriching the unique dining and entertainment experience the Streets delivers,” states Diane Cullinan Oberhelman, Founding Partner of Cullinan Properties.

Everything Wine 3x2 • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013

Promotion Profile:


Fine Drinking Establishment Crisis Nursery Raises $80K

and Retail Shop Raises the Bar Seven months ago Sherri Beeman set out to do something that hadn’t been done in St. Charles County: create a casual yet classy bar with a full retail section that also featured a large wine and cigar collection. That’s just what she did when she opened Everything Wine and Cigars in an unassuming area of Dardenne Prairie. “There was just nothing like it on this side of the river; we were looking to do something atypical from the normal bar scene,” said Sherri. As the name suggests, the establishment offers a variety of wines and cigars from around the world while boasting a large bourbon and scotch selection. Everything Wine and Cigars also sells and serves a mix of products produced in the St. Louis and Midwestern region such as Mastermind vodka and beer from Schlafly, 4 Hands Brewing, and O’Fallon Brewery. The business will soon add food to the eclectic mix of items offered for sale. A bistro is coming soon and will feature a select menu of appetizers and lighter fare such as small plates and tapas items geared toward sharing. The Barrel Bar features live music and offers a variety of wines, beers and spirits in a non-smoking environment. For those who wish to partake of one of the cigars, they can enjoy a puff in a smoking-friendly room located on-site. There’s more to the bar and retail shop than the inventory it carries. Beeman’s desire to operate a one-of-a-kind business coupled with the drive to create a unique visitor experience has resulted in a new standard in the area bar scene. “We are the hidden jewel of St. Charles County. Our motto is ‘raising the bar in St. Charles County,’” she said of her business. No matter the occasion or reason for the visit, the knowledgeable team at Everything Wine and Cigars want people to have an enjoyable experience and to feel like they’re at home when stopping by. For Beeman and her staff, an essential part of ensuring patrons have a memorable experience is by being available to educate and answer questions about the products they sell. “We’re here to educate and break those barriers down, with someone who knows about cigars to someone who wants to buy a cigar for someone as a gift.” Beeman said although she and


to Keep Kids Safe

By Amanda Bretz

Photo by Ray Rockwell

her staff are experts, their goal is to have an enthusiast’s approach, not an elitist approach, when educating and assisting their clientele. “We’ve always been fans of wine, scotch, craft beer, and cigars, and we wanted to bring that approach to the business,” she continued. The staff at the bar and retail business often put their enthusiasm and knowledge to use by hosting classes, tastings and events, such as an upcoming event that will take place on Saturday, December 14. The event will be geared toward holiday gift shopping. There will be local vendors on hand and patrons will have the opportunity to taste and try goods and gifts before they purchase them. Hours of operation are 10am to 10pm Monday and Tuesday, 10am to 11pm Wednesday and Thursday, 10am to 1am Friday, 11am to 1am Saturday, closed on Sunday. Everything Wine and Cigars is located at 1001 Rondale Ct. in Dardenne Prairie. For more information, contact the business directly at 636.294.5911 or find them online at and on Facebook.

On Friday, November 8, Crisis Nurseries of St. Charles raised more than $80,000 at its 8th Annual Over the Top for Tots luncheon. The event, held at The Columns Banquet Center, benefitted the agency’s three 24-hour St. Charles area Nurseries and its Healing Hearts program, which this year provided art therapy for 412 children who needed help mending their broken spirits. There were many enthralling surprises to keep 500 guests entertained and updated on the Nursery’s profound impact on at-risk children and families. Most sentimental was a $5,000 check presentation by Arthur and Ruthie Schaper in honor of their beloved son, Aaron Schaper, a former Crisis Nursery advisory board member. Becky Hoskins, retiring executive director of Lincoln County Resource Board (LCRB), received a lifetime achievement award for her many years of service and collaboration with Crisis Nursery Wentzville. The 2013 Children’s Champion Award was presented to the Wentzville Community Club (WCC), who this year celebrates its 80th anniversary. Mueller said WCC was one of the first to provide financial support to the Wentzville Nursery. Crisis Nursery is a not-for-profit offering 24-hour, short-term care for children, birth through age 12, keeping them safe when their families are experiencing a crisis, such as overwhelming parental stress, domestic violence, and illness. St. Charles County is home to three Nurseries: Crisis Nursery St. Charles, sponsored by SSM St. Joseph Health Center; and Crisis Nursery West and Crisis Nursery Wentzville, sponsored by The Community and Children’s Resource Board. View Photos at



November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

SCC Professor Receives 2013 Emerson Excellence in Teaching Award Ron Pettus, associate professor of political science at St. Charles Community College, was selected to receive an Emerson Excellence in Teaching Award. Pettus, of St. Charles, began teaching after retiring from McDonnell Douglas/Boeing. He teaches American Government as well as State and Local Government, where students hear from community leaders and visit the county jail, emergency Ron Pettus, SCC associate professor of preparedness facilities of St. political science Charles County and the courts to see their local government in action. He also teaches Introduction to Egyptology and has led study trips. Pettus has a master’s degree in international relations from Washington University, a master’s degree in political science from University of Missouri-St. Louis and a bachelor’s degree in physics from Missouri University of Science and Technology. The Emerson Excellence in Teaching Awards program recognizes more than 100 teachers from kindergarten to college professors who are examples of excellence in the field of education in the St. Louis metropolitan area.

SCC to Host Fall Student Art Exhibition November 18 Through December 1 St. Charles Community College will display artwork from students now through December 1 at the SCC Fall Student Art Exhibition. The SCC Art Club will host the opening reception from 6 - 8pm Monday, November 25. The exhibition is free and open to the public. “This is a wonderful opportunity to view many types of artwork – all created by students from the SCC visual arts program,” said Christine Holtz, SCC gallery coordinator. The gallery hours are 8am - 8pm Monday-Thursday, 8am - 4pm Friday and 10am - 3pm Saturday. The gallery is located in the Donald D. Shook Fine Arts Building. For more information, contact Christine Holtz, or 636.922.8556.

Wentzville Schools Celebrated Veterans Day Elementary schools in the Wentzville School District held Veterans Day celebrations last week and today to salute the brave men and women who have served in the U.S. armed forces. Boone Trail, Crossroads, Discovery Ridge, Duello, Green Tree, Heritage, Lakeview, Prairie View, and Peine Ridge Elementary all invited veterans to their special activities scheduled in honor of the holiday. Veterans were treated to breakfasts, student performances, slide shows honoring past and present members of the military and special guest speakers. Retired Major General Rob Carrothers is married to 1st grade teacher Sherry Carrothers at Crossroads Elementary and spoke at their assembly. He said Veterans Day events like the one held at Crossroads are vital for young students. “Our children don’t touch as many veterans as their fathers and grandfathers did. So by having these celebrations they actually begin to understand what it takes to defend our country. We need to all look at our country as a place that we need to serve, not one that should serve us.”

SCHS Students and Greater St. Louis Honor Flight Submitted by Mary Darting, OASIS Coordinator

Greg Gibson, Saint Charles High School teacher and coach, attended his first Greater St. Louis Honor Flight Welcome Home Ceremony last spring with his family and knew that he needed to get students involved. This fall, he brought the first group of SC Strong recipients to Lambert Airport for the Welcome Home Ceremony. Some of the students were part of the “Sea of Flags” which greets returning WWII and Korean War veterans as they return from their day of visiting their memorials in our nations’ capitol. The next day students were watching video presentations of the Honor Flights and writing letters to be distributed through “Mail Call” as veterans are returning home. More than 30 students attended the next Welcome Home Ceremony, along with coaches and parents. After attending the Welcome Home ceremony, students were motivated to do more to help the Greater St. Louis Honor Flight organization and organized fundraisers with the goal of raising enough funds to cover the cost of one veteran going on the Honor Flight. Students continue to write letters for “Mail Call” and learn more about our veterans. • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013


“Thor: The Dark World”


By Steve Bryan - Rated: PG-13

Hemsworth reprises the title role in a story that takes place after the attack on New York. It’s a decent movie, but it really just sets the stage for a larger film that’s due out in a few years. As the story opens, Thor is restoring order in the universe when Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), his mortal lady love, comes in contact with a deadly force called the Aether. A dark elf named Malekith the Accursed (Christopher Eccleston) has been looking for this mysterious energy, which puts Jane in great danger. Throw in Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the God of Mischief, and Thor has more troubles Thor: The Dark World photo courtesy of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures than he can shake a hammer at. Superhero fans who read Marvel Comics on a regular Though not necessarily a bad movie, The Dark World basis have seen more than one universe-shaking storyline isn’t quite as good as The Avengers or even the last Iron Man crossing over into multiple titles. Whether this is simply movie. It contains more dialogue than battle sequences, creativity or clever marketing, that strategy encourages which do define the relationships between the characters. readers to buy every related issue to keep on top of the plot. Jane’s feelings for Thor also come under scrutiny by Odin The same technique has made its way into movies pro- (Anthony Hopkins) and the beautiful Lady Sif (Jaimie Alduced by Marvel and Walt Disney. exander). For every major league movie like This sequel also examines the Though it’s good to see Chris The Avengers, for instance, there complicated relationship between Hemsworth wielding Thor’s hamwill be smaller films featuring a Thor and Loki in more detail. mer once again, The Dark World member of that superhero team. Despite his brother’s actions in These intermediate movies typi- is a bit disappointing compared to New York City, Thor the previous Marvel films. cally set the stage for the next mastill feels loyalty and jor league popcorn extravaganza. love towards his wayThat’s the case with Thor: The Dark World, a new adven- ward sibling. As they have in previous movies, ture featuring the blonde, beefy God of Thunder. Chris Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston work

well together as brothers divided by different goals. Thor: The Dark World even explores Sif’s feelings for Thor and her jealousy of Jane Foster. As portrayed by Jaimie Alexander, Sif is a warrior who can fight by Thor’s side, but he refuses to see her as more than a valued friend whenever Jane is around. Though it’s good to see Chris Hemsworth wielding Thor’s hammer once again, The Dark World is a bit disappointing compared to the previous Marvel films. The Avengers set the bar high for Marvel movies, and this one falls short. Thor: The Dark World, rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence and some suggestive content, currently is playing in theaters. Born and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

This Month’s Shelter: Humane Society of Missouri 1201 Macklind Avenue, MO 63110 • 314-647-8800 • If you’ve adopted a new family member that you saw in Community News, send us a picture of you and your new pal. Also include a brief story about your pet’s background and how they’re doing now. We’d love to share your happy story with other readers! Community News, 2139 Bryan Valley Commercial Dr., O’Fallon, MO 63366 or editor@

The U.S. Humane Society estimates 6 to 8 million dogs and cats enter shelters each year, and 3 to 4 million are euthanized. Please do your part to control overpopulation and to limit the number of unwanted animals. SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS!


November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •


Gary Baute Thanksgiving Eve Boxing and MMA Matches The 27th annual Guns ‘N Hoses event, benefiting the BackStoppers, will be held on Wednesday November 27 at the Scottrade Center. The fundraiser features three-round boxing matches between area police officers and firefighters to raise money for the BackStoppers, an organization that provides immediate financial aid and long-term financial and other support to the families of police officers and firefighters who lose their lives in the line of duty. Many celebrities will be in the ring as sponsors after each fight. Sir Smashington of the Smash Band will emcee the event with his usual leadership. There will


be a 17-bout card and three to five Mixed Martial Arts matches. Visit for more details. *A very special event Women Tackle Football Team Needs Players The St. Louis SLAM professional women’s football team will be holding tryouts this coming Sunday, November 24. The event will be held at CBC High School, 1850 De Lasalle Drive from 7 - 8pm. Go to to get all the details. *Do you have what it takes?

Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

Gary and a SLAM player during a 2010-2011 game

Lions Win Second Consecutive Tournament Championship The No. 5 Lindenwood men’s soccer team won a thrilling game in a penalty kick shootout against the Fort Hays State Tigers in the

MIAA Tournament Championship. The Lions won the shootout 6-5 en route to its second consecutive MIAA Tournament championship. Mauricio Medina and Ignacio Romero each had a goal with Franz Husbands scoring the game-winning goal for the Lions. With the victory, Lindenwood will now move onto the NCAA Tournament. *Thanks to Michael Wade, director of admissions and marketing Hockey Chill Drop Two Games by One Point The St. Charles Chill is playing in their inaugural year in the Central Hockey League with home games at the Family Arena. The past weekend saw the club lose another tough game by one goal to the Arizona Sundogs at the Family Arena. Scoring by the St. Charles team in the second loss (3-2) to the Sundogs included Kyle O’Kane scoring his team-high fifth goal that tied the game at 1-1 with Tony DeHart getting the assist. The second shot that hit the back of the net was rookie Phil Bushbacher who tied the game back up with his third goal and fourth point in five games. St. Charles Chill has a record of 2-7-2 in the season thus far. The team is back on the ice tonight, Wednesday at 7:05 as they battle the Brampton Beast at the Family Arena. Check the website for all the details at *A great time for less money Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted, among many other activities. Currently he broadcasts a radio show on 590 ‘The Man’ and 1380 ‘The Woman.’

Oldest Pick:

“Flora & Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures

See solution on page 13

Community News is proud to offer our readers “Book Buzz.” This column will feature great books for children in three categories: Youngest Pick: early childhood to the first or second grade, Middle Pick: elementary school children, and Oldest Pick: middle school children. Enjoy!

Reprinted with permission, Missourian Publishing Company. Copyright 2013.

Your neighbors think they’re a nuisance and your granddad probably does too. But not Kate DiCamillo. Her new book, “Flora & Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures” features a squirrel and a girl who’s nuts about him, as well as being hooked on jaunty comic strip frames by K.G. Campbell. Ulysses is a riotous rodent, a squirrel with superpowers he acquires after being sucked up by a vacuum sweeper. While not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, Ulysses can fly like an eagle, lift fat cats with a paw behind his back, and write poetry that smacks of Emily Dickinson. A good buddy is what Flora needs — someone who understands her because her romance-writer of a mom sure doesn’t. All she wants is for Flora to drop her comic book habit and be normal. When Ulysses lands in Flora’s life, tomfoolery ensues, hilarity with signature DiCamillo good messages, sprinkled with references to poetry and literature greats. • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013


Delicious Stuffing Dishes

This holiday season celebrate with loved ones by serving up fresh takes on classic dishes that will have your guests reaching for seconds. After all, the holidays are all about bringing the whole family together, and a warm, inviting meal is at the heart of every memorable gathering. While delectable entrees are often revered as the stars of most holiday meals, many agree that a holiday dinner is not complete without the stuffing. The scrumptious combination of fine breads and savory seasonings brings tradition and warmth to any spread. This year, add a dose of the unexpected to your own holiday menu by serving up a twist on classic stuffing, using one of these

Apple-Raisin Stuffing Makes 4 servings


mouth-watering recipes featuring Pepperidge Farm® Stuffing. Made from premium bread and flavorful ingredients, this delicious side (also available in a new unseasoned mix) provides a high-quality foundation for creating praise-worthy stuffing dishes. The Apple-Raisin Stuffing recipe highlights the seasonal flavors of cinnamon, apples and raisins for a savory-yet-sweet dish, while the Caramelized Onion with Pancetta and Rosemary Stuffing recipe boasts the rich, salty flavors of pancetta alongside sweeter caramelized onions. For more information, visit

Caramelized Onion with Pancetta and Rosemary Stuffing Makes 12 servings Ingredients: 6 tablespoons butter 2 large sweet onions, diced (about 3 cups) 1 package (4 ounces) cubed pancetta (about 1 cup) 4 cloves garlic, chopped 2 stalks celery, diced (about 1 cup) 2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary leaves 3 cups Swanson® Chicken Broth (Regular, Natural Goodness or Certified Organic) 1/4 cup sherry 1 package (14 ounces) Pepperidge Farm® Herb Seasoned Stuffing

Ingredients: 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter 1 stalk celery, chopped (about 1/2 cup) 1 small onion, chopped (about 1/4 cup) 1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Chicken Broth 4 cups Pepperidge Farm® Herb Seasoned Stuffing 1 medium apple, cored and chopped (about 1 cup) 1/4 cup raisins 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon Directions: Heat butter in 10-inch skillet over medium heat. Add celery and onion and cook until tender, stirring occasionally. Add broth and heat to boil. Remove skillet from heat. Add stuffing, apples, raisins and cinnamon and mix lightly. Spoon stuffing mixture into 1 1/2-quart casserole. Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes or until stuffing is hot.

Directions: Heat the oven to 350°F. Heat butter in 3-quart saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and cook for 15 minutes or until well browned, stirring occasionally. Stir pancetta, garlic, celery and rosemary in saucepan and cook until pancetta is well browned, stirring occasionally. Stir in broth and sherry and heat to boil. Remove saucepan from

heat. Add stuffing and mix lightly. Spoon stuffing mixture into greased 3-quart casserole. Cover casserole. Bake for 30 minutes or until stuffing mixture is hot.

What’s Happening


November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Send your event to and we'll print it! EVENTS Now-December: Looking for Crisis Nursery Holiday Angels For the 2013 Holiday Hearts Campaign. Join our effort and grant holiday wish list items to deserving children and families in need. Supporters may choose to sponsor a family or purchase items off of the Crisis Nursery Holiday Wish List. or 314.292.5770. November 21: Empty Bowls Students of Hope High School (307 W. Pitman O’Fallon) made and are selling clay bowls full or soup with bread and a beverage for $8 to help the hungry. Carry out available. 636.579.5300. November 21: Scotch Class at The Barrel Bar - At Everything Wine & Cigars 6:30pm, 1001 Rondale Ct. Dardenne Prairie MO 63368. Tickets are $15, reservations required. 636.329.5911 or November 22: Iron Man 3 (PG-13) 6pm at Kisker Road Branch Library, 1000 Kisker Road, St. Charles. Refreshments served. Any teen under 16 must be signed in/out by a parent or guardian. Free. Register at www. or 636.926.7323.

November 22-23: Mozingo Center for Creative Arts presents OZ! 7pm at StoneBridge Community Church, 201 Meriwether Lewis Dr., O’Fallon. By Tim Kelley and Bill Francouer, this show appeals to all ages. Tickets: $10 or $7 for Seniors, available at the door or at www. (search for November 23: Free Dentistry Day 7am - 3pm at United Methodist Church, 7116 Twin Chimneys Blvd. in O’Fallon. Participants will then be shuttled to Deer Creek Dental. Free dental services provided to participants will include fillings and extractions. Patients ages 12 and up will be accepted on a first come first served basis. Only 100 participants will be accepted. November 23: Scrapbooking “Fall Cropping” and Hot Brunch 9am - 10pm in the St. Charles Borromeo Cafeteria, 601 North Fourth Street, (4th and Decatur Streets) St. Charles. Registration fee: $40. Register at or 314.494.0618. Supports Incarnate Word Academy Senior Graduation Night Lock-in 2014. November 24: Habitat for Human-

ity’s Brunch with Santa 11:30am - 12:30pm at St. Charles Convention Center. Following brunch, children will enjoy crafts, games and a free photo with Santa. $15/child 12 and under, $20/adult. Reservations at 636.978.5712.

7116 Twin Chimney Blvd. Info: Barb at 636.978.5930.

December 4-5: Open House for Adult Students at Webster University 4-7pm. Dec. 4 at Winghaven; Dec. 5 at Westport. Spring classes begin Jan. 6. RSVP at or

Every Tuesday: Quilting Guild at the O’Fallon Family YMCA 1-4 p.m. Free. Quilt for local charities. No sewing experience required.

Ongoing Events All November: Remembering Our Fallen Touring Photo Display 9am - 2pm or 4-8pm daily. Living Word Christian School, O’Fallon. Honors military who died from wounds suffered in war zone since September 11, 2001. Living Word Christian School, O’Fallon. 636.978.1680. 1st Monday: Gardeners of St. Charles County Monthly Meeting 6:30pm. Location varies. 314.304.7480. 4th Monday: American Legion Post 388 Meets 6:30 pm at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8945 Vets. Mem. Pkwy. 636.219.0553. Every Monday: St. Peters Rotary Club Noon at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday: Fitness First Exercise Classes 9:30-10:30am, American Legion Hall, 504 Luetkenhaus Blvd., Wentzville. 314.369.6521.

1st Tuesday: Fleur de Lis Garden Society 6:30 p.m. at the Kisker Road Library, 1000 Kisker Road. Info: Jeanne at 314.605.8563. 2nd Tuesday: Show-me Stitchers Embroiderer’s Guild of America 7pm at the Ladue Chapel. Info: www. 4th Tuesday: O’Fallon Garden Club. 6:30pm. at Sunrise Methodist Church,

Every Tuesday: Kiwanis Club of St. Charles Noon - 1 p.m. at the Columns Banquet Center in St. Charles.

Every Tuesday: Toastmasters Meeting 7 p.m. at the Renaud Spirit Center, 2650 Tri Sports Circle, O’Fallon. Info: 636.379.2505. Every Tuesday & Thursday: Tai Chi at the St. Charles County Family YMCA 8-9am and 10:15-11:15am. No experience necessary. 636-928-1928. Tuesdays & Thursdays: Get Fit Exercise Classes 9-10am and 5:30-6:30pm at Immaculate Heart of Mary Church Hall, New Melle. 314.369.6521. Every Wednesday: Active Older Adults Game Day at the O’Fallon Family YMCA 10 a.m. Free. Bring a favorite snack to share. Anybody welcome. Every Wednesday: Crossroads Cribbage Club 10 a.m. Meets at 1380 Boone St., Troy, MO 63379. 636.528.8379. Every Wednesday: Men’s Golf League 5 p.m., tee off at 5:30 p.m. at Heritage of Hawk Ridge. www.lakesaintlouis. com, under the parks and recreation section. Every Wednesday: Charity Bingo 6:45 p.m. VFW Post 5077 sponsors, at VFW Hall, 8500 Veterans Mem. Pkwy., O’Fallon. 636.272.1945 or 1st & 3rd Wednesday: St. Charles Area Wood Carvers 7 p.m. at Weldon Spring Site Remedial Action Project, 7295 Hwy. 94 South, St. Charles. Visitors welcome! Every Thursday: Kiwanis Club of St. Peters 6:30am at IHOP (3851 Veteran’s Me-

morial Pkwy St. Peters). 636.328.4941. Every Thursday: Kiwanis Club of O’Fallon 11:45 a.m. Meets at JJ’s Restaurant in O’Fallon. Info: Every Thursday: O’Fallon Rotary Club Lunch Noon at The Holy Cross Lutheran Church (8945 Veterans Memorial Pkwy, across from Fort Zumwalt Park). Visitors welcome. 636.980.1777. Every Thursday: Yoga at The St. Charles County Family YMCA 7-7:55 p.m. Any level. Info: 636.928.1928. 2nd & 4th Thursday: Alexander Chapter 242/Eastern Star St. Charles Masonic Lodge, 2051 Collier Corporate Parkway, St. Charles. 636.577.0056. Every Friday: Moms Play Group 10 a.m. at LSL Community Association, 100 Cognac Ct., Lake Saint Louis, MO 63367. 314.479.0306, or Every Friday: VFW Fish Fry 3-8 p.m. VFW Post 2866. 66 VFW Lane. Call Bill Sams, 636.724.9612. Every Saturday: Chess 8-11 a.m. or later in the food court at Mid Rivers Mall in St. Peters. Every Saturday: St. Charles Lions Club Farmer’s Market Through October 26. 7am - noon. Parking lot at Foundry Art Centre. Every Saturday through October 26: Lake Saint Louis Farmers & Artists Market 8am - noon. Hwy. 40 & Lake Saint Louis Blvd. Rain or shine. The area’s only all-local market offers the very best in seasonal produce, baked goods, soaps, crafts, art and more. Every Saturday: Veterans Learn guitar for FREE 9:30am in Historic St. Charles. Info: Bill Dennis at 314.479.5750. Every Saturday: Peaceful Puppy Mill Protest 11am - 12:30pm at Petland, 6131 Ronald Reagan Drive, Lake St. Louis. Every Saturday: Saturday Writers 11am - 1:15pm, Jan-Sept at Saint Peters Cultural Arts Center. Visitors welcome. $5 fee. Every Saturday: Charity Bingo 6:30 p.m. Doors open at 4 p.m. Wentzville Community Club (500 West Main, Wentzville 63385). or www.facebook. com/wentzville-community-club. 1st & 3rd Saturday: St Peters Square Dance Club Dances 6:30pm. 1st United Methodist Church, 801 First Capital Dr. www. 2nd Sunday: Moscow Mills Lions Breakfast 7am - noon, September - April. Moscow Community Center, Hwy C. $7/ adult, $4/child, under 6 free.

2nd Sunday: The Wheelers and Dealers Square Dance 7pm. Blanchette Park, 1900 W Randolph St. www.squaredancestcharles. com. • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013 CHURCH

636.949.9600 Info: 636.947.5163.

November 22-24: Assumption Church Youth Group’s Sound of Music 7pm Friday-Saturday, 5:30pm Sunday at Assumption School, 203 W. 3rd Street, O’Fallon. $10/adult or teen, $5/child 12 and under and $30/ family of five (two parents with three or more children). 314.560.5858 or

Free Mammogram Screenings SSM Health Care offers free mammogram screenings to women who have no health insurance. Appointments are available at SSM St. Joseph Health Center, 300 First Capitol Drive in St. Charles and SSM St. Joseph Hospital West, 100 Medical Plaza in Lake Saint Louis. Info: Karen at 636.947.5617.

November 23: Gospel Singers “The Wanda Mountain Boys” 6pm at New Beginnings Worship Center, 108 Birdie Hills Rd., St. Peters. Info: 636.240.8358 or 636.397.2959. November 24: The Youth Group of SunRise UMC Free Thanksgiving Feast 4-7pm at 7116 Twin Chimneys Boulevard, O’Fallon. If you or your family would like to come and eat for free, contact Troy Merseal at 636.978.2727 x115 or Kristy Daugherty at 636.544.3492. Northside Church of Christ Free Correspondence Bible Course: Call for more information, 636.293.5030. Operation Backpack: United Methodist Church, Wentzville Food to at-risk children over the weekend. 636.327.6377 Every Tuesday: Ministry To Men: Men’s Introductory Bible Discussion Groups 7am at United Methodist Church, 725 N. Wall St., Wentzville. Groups are interdenominational and beginners as well as “old timers” are welcome. 636.698.5598 or 636.625.3447.

Diabetes Prevention Program Helping those at high risk for type 2 diabetes adopt and maintain healthy lifestyles to reduce chances of developing the disease. Held at participating YMCA’s throughout the St. Louis and St. Charles areas. This program is part of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention-led National Diabetes Prevention Program. Contact Joyce Hoth at 314-436-1177. Crisis Nursery Committed to preventing child abuse and neglect, the Crisis Nursery provides short-term, safe havens to children, birth through age 12, whose families are faced with an emergency or crisis. 24-hour helpline: 314.768.3201. Or 636.947.0600, Support Groups Daily: 12 Step Recovery Club 204 G West Pittman, O’Fallon. Info: Mike at 636.240.1722 or Every Monday: BILY (Because I Love You) Parent Support Group 7:30 p.m. at First United Method-

ist Church, 801 First Capitol Dr., St. Charles. For parents only. Free. Focus on teens/young adults who act out. Help Line 314.993.7550. 1st & 3rd Mondays: Sharing Losses Through Bereavement 1-2:30pm. at SSM Home Care & Hospice, 1187 Corporate Lake Drive. Registration: 314.776.3627. Every Mon.: Tobacco Free for Life Want to Quit Smoking? For support, call Ellen, register nurse at SSM St. Joseph Hospital, 636.947.5304. 1st Mon.: Better Breathers Club Those w/chronic lung disease. St. Joseph Health Cntr., 300 1st Capitol Dr., St. Charles. Free lunch. 636.947.5684. 3rd Monday: Walking for WellnessSTOP HEROIN Life After Loss Support Group 7-8:30pm at Barnes-Jewish St. Peters Hospital, Medical Office Building, 6 Jungermann Circle, Ste. 212, St. Peters. Discuss loss of your loved one and heal. 314.630.9222 or geevigna@ 12 Step Support Group for Women Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse Meets in 4 locations in the metro St Louis area. metrostlouissia@gmail. com. • 1st and 3rd Monday: 9:30-11am 500 Medical Dr in Wentzville; doctors dining room of St Joseph Hospital; contact 636.561.0389. • 2nd and 4th Tuesday: 6:30-8pm 2 Progress Point Parkway in O’Fallon, MO; 4th floor conference room

What’s Happening

of Progress West Hospital; contact 636.561.0389. 1st Tuesday: Parkinson’s Support Group 1-2pm at the Community Commons in Spencer Road Library. Info: Alicia Wildhaber at 636.926.3722. 4th Tues: Diabetes Support Group 6:30-7:30 p.m. At HW Koenig Med Bldg, St Joseph Hosp. West. 636.625.5447 Every Wednesday: Co-Dependents (CODA) Anonymous Meeting 8pm, 2800 Elm St., St. Charles. Separate brick house behind church complex. Contact Julie at 636.397.8676. This meeting is for women only. 1st Wed: Missouri/Illinois Multiple Myeloma Support Group 10-11am at St. Joseph Medical Park: Education Room, 1475 Kisker Road, St. Charles. RSVP is appreciated at 636.447.9006 or 3rd Wed. 6:30–8 p.m. KidsCan! Siteman Cancer Center, BarnesJewish St. Peters Hosp., 150 Entrance Way, St. Peters. Support children 4–12 w/parent/significant caregiver w/cancer.


1st Thursday: Nurses & Company Parkinson’s Support Group 1-2pm at Twin Oaks at Heritage Pointe (228 Savannah Terrace, Wentzville) for those with Parkinson’s and their caregivers. Questions: Alicia Wildhaber with Nurses & Company at 636.926.3722. 1st Thurs: Conquer 6:30–7:30pm. Support Group for adults w/cancer. Siteman Cancer Cntr, Barnes-Jewish St. Peters Hosp., 150 Entrance Way, St. Peters. 636.916.9920. 2nd Thurs: Support Group for Alzheimer’s 4pm. Delmar Gardens, 7068 S. Outer 364, O’Fallon. Call: Jennifer Krpan, Ralph Covinsky 636.240.6100. 4th Thurs: Breast Cancer Support Group 6:30–8pm. Siteman Cancer Cntr, Barnes-Jewish St. Peters Hosp., 150 Entrance Way. 636.928.WELL (9355) or 800.392.0936. www.siteman.bjsph. org. 3rd Sun: Alzheimer’s Meeting 12:45-1:45pm. Morning Star Church, 1600 Feise Rd., O’Fallon. Faith-based for caregivers, family of those w/ memory loss. 1.800.272.3900.

3rd Tuesday: Luncheon for Seniors 11am - 2pm at Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd., 636.561.8951 2nd Wednesday: Noon Luncheon Shiloh United Methodist Church, 1515 Hwy T, Foristell, 636.673.2144. HEALTH

November 21: Creating Meaningful Moments for Persons with Dementia 6pm at Barathaven Alzheimer’s Special Care Center, 1030 Barathaven Blvd, Dardenne Prairie. RSVP 636.329.9160. Cancer Survivor Fitness Program Free for all cancer patients and survivors. A 12-week program with trained instructors to help participants regain energy and improve stamina. St. Charles County Family YMCA, 636-928-1928. Diabetes Self Management Training (DSMT) Available with a doctor’s order. 636.949.9600 or Patty Shelton at 636.947.5573.

Medical Nutrition Therapy (MNT) A nutritional diagnostic therapy and counseling service held at SSM St. Joseph Health Center. Available with a doctor’s order only. Registration: Sudoku Solutions from page 10

November 2013• •Community CommunityNews News- St. • 20,20, 2013 Charles County • 1414November



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15 • Community News - St. Charles County • November 20, 2013 • Community News • November 20, 2013




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November 20, 2013 • Community News - St. Charles County •

Over the Fence

Joe Morice

The Past, Present and Ohmagosh! All about the joys of automated telephone robots and more modern cost-cutting business ideas. Does anyone remember calling a doctor’s office or some other business number and getting a real person instead of a recording telling you to punch various digits for people and departments? I certainly do but I’m not known for patience with telephones, so I’m probably not qualified to complain. What’s worse is I can’t yell at a recording and get any satisfaction—although I do it anyway. After finally getting a human being to speak with, there comes another rancorous nuisance. The answering person often lives in some starving nation on the other side of the planet who speaks heavily accented English that sounds like a submarine sonar anomaly. Add the lousy state of my hearing and I may as well hang up and write a letter in hopes someone that receives it can read. The last time I became exasperated with a foreignaccented telephone response, I muffled my speech and said, “Thishabanglecucklapoppermingodingoboomboom.” The person answered with an accent that sounded like a squirrel gnawing on a marble. I replied, “Imamonkeytailedrockabybabyunibomber-

cocoanutcracker.” The person said something like, “Errflbikengoo.” I sighed, “Anybody there speak English?” “I-d-o,” spelled the accent very slowly. I said, “Gee, I’m sorry. I thought I did too, but apparently I don’t, so I must be somewhere else. Can you tell by my language where I’m calling from?” Click. One of eleventy-eight kazillion rumors that slither through the Internet is that these foreign entities have to supply an American if we can’t understand the person answering the telephone. This is, of course, a complete falsehood. Thus we are left to our own devices, one of which is to boycott whatever goods or services that use this cost-saving method of destroying the American working class. Since far too many of us have become addicted to electronic media such as cell phones and Facebook, we’re doomed to forgo face-to-face conversations at real boycott meetings in favor of email boycotts. Of course, we sign up and move on to more important things like texting significant others to remind them we haven’t heard from them in almost twenty minutes so what’s wrong? Then it’s off to Walmart to buy garments stitched by Chinese six-year-olds. My primary care physician, to whom I owe my health and empty wallet, is now part of a corporate

healthcare system not unlike something conceived by devil-worshippers on LSD. I get yet another recorded voice telling me to punch different numbers until I find one that gets my doctor’s trained chimpanzee that takes his calls. Not often do I have to wait longer than ten minutes until Cheetah finally grunts. After explaining I have pneumonia and my fever has reached 110 degrees, I’m asked if I would like an appointment. In my hoarsened voice I croak, “Are you kidding?” The voice says, “I can get you in by next Wednesday.” “Okay but between now and then, if I live that long, you can look for the bomb I hid in your banana tree.” I didn’t really say that last part but I loved thinking it between coughing spasms. In this modern workaday world of chair-bound computer operators and underpaid fast food workers, it’s become harder to remember when we spun a dial on a telephone and got a real person. Nevertheless, since we’re faced with electronic gizmos that make us learn how to cope with things that would make Captain Kirk cuss Scotty for beaming up a veggie pizza, I’m hoping the younger generations don’t all end up hidden in dark bedrooms looking for new phone apps and assault rifle targets. Joe Morice is Community News’s blue-collar philosopher. He was born and raised in Missouri and spent most of his childhood on a farm and adulthood operating big machines. He has no formal training as a writer, unless 60 years of writing about any and everything counts. The opinions expressed in this column are Joe Morice’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

CNSTC: November 20, 2013  
CNSTC: November 20, 2013  

St. Charles County Community News Community News, OFallon, St. Charles, St. Peters, Cottleville, Weldon Spring, Lake Saint Louis, Wentzvill...