Skip to main content

CNSTC: October 8, 2014

Page 1

July 13, 2011

October 8, 2014

Vol 13 No 28

Deutsch Country Days

Recipes

Serve Up Comfort

11

Around Town

2

Special Section

5

Business

7

Assumption Parish Festival

Traditional life-skills on display at Deutsch Country Days include loom weaving. Photo courtesy Deutsch Country Days

German heritage will be alive at Luxenhaus Farm Oct. 18-19 for the 33rd Annual Deutsch Country Days Experience “Opening a Window to the Past” at Deutsch Country Days, the 33rd Annual German living history festival to be held from 9 am to 5 pm on Saturday, Oct. 18 and Sunday, Oct. 19. Deutsch Country Days will take place at historic Luxenhaus Farm, three miles northeast of Marthasville, Mo on Highway O—less than one hour from St. Charles. Attendees will interact with juried artisans in traditional period costumes demonstrating early 1700-1850s German pioneer folkways and life skills at various locations across the farm. German skills and folkways on display at the General Mercantile include kraut cutting, shingle splitting, crosscut sawing, canning and preserving, story telling and more. The Farm Animal Barn will feature natural basket weaving, bone grinding, sausage stuffing, wire jewelry, sad ironing, and old time clothes washing. An 1840s era pioneer log home featured in many national magazines can be toured, along with 35 reconstructed Missouri log cabins, circa 1800-1890, all rescued from demise through the state. Rescued structures include the Grimm smoke haus, Lee Haynes tin shop, a blacksmith shop, the Schwoeppe barn, the Line Shaft Wood Shop, the Essenpfatz annex, a mill building, a steam-powered sawmill and many others. Take a stroll through the Eric Sloane covered bridge and enjoy candle-dip-

ping, soap-making, weaving, woodworking, Klopolei, Scherenschnitte and much more. Visitors can interact with more than eighty historic juried artisans and demonstrators—leaving them with a truly educational and family-oriented day. Traditional German meals will tempt the palate while period music wafts through the Missouri valley. Deutsch Country Days was selected by USA Today as one of the top 10 food festivals in the nation. The essen platz (eating space) near Luxen lake will be serving traditional German fare. The menu includes Keks und Soßewurst (biscuits and gravy), ham und beans mit cornbread (ham and bean with cornbread), and many other German classics. Cinnamon roasted nuts made in a 1850s model German nut roaster will also be available from another vendor. The Village Peddler will serve homemade chocolate candy, keks (cookies) and more desserts. The Essen haus on the hill will also serve German classics like pffannkuhen mit swarn sirup (pancakes with warm syrup), karfoffel (potato) salad and many other classics. Don’t miss the Franks family’s famous kettle corn. Tickets for the 33rd Annual Deutsch Country Days can be purchased day of on both Saturday and Sunday at Luxenhaus Farm. Tickets are $18 for adults, $16 for seniors ages 65 and up, $8 for children

ages 5-15, and free for children under 5. On Sunday only, Deutsch Country Days will offer a single children’s ticket for $3 when the accompanying adult pays full price. Free parking will be provided by Boy Scout Troop 429 of Bourbon, Mo. Proceeds support historic, nonprofit and youth groups. For further information, visit www.deutschcountrydays.org, call 636.433.5669, or email info@deutschcountrydays.org, Deutsch Country Days, will take place at Luxenhaus Farm, 18055 State Highway O, Marthasville, MO, 63357.

Banking & Finance

St. Charles Garage Opens

The Skeleton Twins photo courtesy of Universal Pictures

Movie FREE Online Subscription at mycnews.com

9


Around Town

2

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Vol. 16 No. 41

In This Issue... 2

Around Town Local news and events like the Just Because We Care Classic Carfest Oct. 11 and more Assumption’s two day festival and more.

5

Special Section Banking & Finance

7

Business St. Charles City Hall parking garage grand opening and more.

9

Movie A solid blend of comedy and tragedy, The Skeleton Twins showcases what Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader can do on the big screen.

10 Sports and Learn & Play

Local sport authority Gary B will fill you in on the week’s sporting events. Also, play Sudoku and discover a new book with this week’s Book Buzz.

11 Recipes

Spanish Pork and Fennel Stew.

12 What’s Happening

The only events calendar you need to stay entertained all week long.

14 Classifieds 16 Over the Fence

Joe Morice is to Community News readers what Wilson was to Tim Taylor: enjoy a fresh perspective from our in-house blue-collar philosopher.

Follow us on

www.pinterest.com/mycnews

Assumption Parish to Host two day Festival Oct. 18 and 19 Enjoy live music, haunted hayrides, tasty food, games of chance, inflatables, refreshing spirits, and plenty of crafts at the annual Fall Festival at Assumption Parish, 403 North Main St. in O’Fallon, from 6 – 11 pm on Saturday, Oct. 18 and from 11 am – 6 pm on Sunday, Oct. 19. This traditional church festival features signature sausage and turkey dinner with all the trimmings and lots of fun for the entire family. All are welcome to attend this two day celebration which serves as Assumption’s largest fundraiser of the year. The fall festivities kick-off at 6 pm, Saturday, Oct. 18, with a haunted hayride, games and inflatables for the kids, and a beer and wine garden for the adults. New this year–a pork steak dinner with baked beans, potato salad and dinner roll is $10 and will be available for purchase throughout the night. Saturday night’s feature band is El Scorcho. This high energy group will take things up a notch from 7 – 10 pm. On Sunday, Oct. 19, the festivities resume at 11 am with a traditional parish picnic atmosphere. The rock cover band FOG is scheduled to entertain the crowd from 1:30 – 5:30 pm. The popular County Store will be open for business and will be filled

Photo courtesy Assumption Parish

with exhibitors selling a variety of crafts and goods. There will also be hayrides, barrel train rides, bingo, and a variety of children’s and adult games to play. Funnel cake, kettle corn and a sandwich stand will be available to festival-goers throughout the day. The church’s sausage and turkey dinner will also be served in the Parish Center until the dining room closes at 6 pm. Carryout service is available. Adult dinners are $12, children $5 and anyone under four years of age is free. For more information, contact Assumption Parish at 636.240.3721.

Fort Zumwalt Park Temporarily Closing to Traffic and Disc Golf In preparation for the City’s annual Celebration of Lights, Fort Zumwalt Park will be closed to vehicles from Monday, Oct. 13, through late January 2015, so that crews can safely install holiday lights and scenes for the City’s annual Celebration of Lights display. The park’s disc

golf course, “The Fort,” also will be closed during this period. Pedestrians are welcome during daylight hours, but for safety’s sake are required to stay on the paved drive through the park, which has a designated lane for walkers and joggers. And everyone is invited to see the Celebra-

tion of Lights, which will be open the day after Thanksgiving at 6 pm on Friday, Nov. 28 through Dec. 30, closing only for Christmas, Dec. 25. For more information, contact Festival Coordinator Jennifer Hoisington at 636.379.5605, or jhoisington@ofallon.mo.us.

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/mycnews

FREE Online Subscription

www. mycnews

LIKE US AT: Troy Dental Care / Dr. Mary Berk


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

Around Town

3

St. Charles County Park’s Haunted House Opens Oct. 24 in Dardenne Prairie Creepy creatures lurk around every corner at this year’s Night of Fright Haunted House in Dardenne Prairie. Nestled inside the recreation facility of St. Charles County’s Youth Activity Park, 7801 Highway N in Dardenne Prairie, this scary place takes thrill seekers through a maze of haunted rooms filled with frightful scenes. Open from dusk to 10 pm on Friday, Oct. 24, and Saturday, Oct. 25, this house of horror is designed to entertain children ages 8–16. Admission to the

haunted attraction is $5. For an additional $3 fee, stay until 10 pm and use the 33,000-square foot state-of-the-art skate park with competitive bowls, rails and ramps. The skate park is open to skateboards, rollerblades, bikes and scooters. An activity waiver must be completed for all guests using the skate park, and helmets are required. For more information about the Night of Fright Haunted House, contact 636.561.4964.

www.fiueros.com

www.fiueroshotsauces.com

SunRise UMC Worship Director James Jones presents a check for $1,500 to some of the students and staff of Twin Chimneys Elementary music program. Photo courtesy SunRise UMC

SunRise UMC Raises 1,500 for Twin Chimneys Elementary Music Program SunRise UMC raised $1,500 during their summer “Dream On” sermon series by selling T-shirts that were framed in the spirit of classic rock songs. The funds raised were given to Fort Zumwalt’s Twin Chimneys Elementary orchestra, music and drama departments.

St. Charles County Mayors Announce 2015 Charity Ball The Mayors from St. Charles County recently jointly announced the Annual “Mayors Charity Ball,” which will be held at the St. Charles Convention Center’s Grand Ballroom on Saturday, March 14, 2015. “This is the 20th year for this charity event,” said St. Charles Mayor Sally Faith, “the 11th annual as an all St. Charles County wide event. We fully realize that our deserving and hardworking local charities need our help now more than ever! There have been many individuals and businesses in our communities who have generously sponsored the Ball in the past, and we are hopeful we will continue to have their collaboration and support going into next year. As always,

we look forward to spending a memorable and rewarding evening with friends and supporters to help raise money for our worthy local charities.” The Mayors across St. Charles County encourage any charity that is based in the City or County of St. Charles and serves St. Charles City and County residents to apply for funding. Applicants may pick up an application at their City Hall or call upon their City Mayor’s assistant for an application to be mailed. It can also be found on the City of St. Charles website, www.stcharlescitymo. gov under “Mayor’s Corner” or “Popular Links.” The deadline to submit applications is 5 pm Friday, Oct. 31, 2014.

www.byerlyrv.com

FREE

Admission & Parking

Civic Park O’Fallon, MO • Rain or Shine

Friday, October 10 Street Dance with Trixie Delight • 7 – 10 p.m.

Saturday, October 11 Fall Fest Run (5K and 10K) • 7 a.m. Fall Fest • 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Artist/Craft Vendors • Music • Side Shows • Kids’ Activities

www.ofallon.mo.us/fallfest www.ofallon.mo.us/FallFest

www.changescapeweb.com/cnewsad


4

Around Town

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

By Cindy Moore www.facebook.com/mycnews

There Ought to Be a Law I recently popped a button off of my shirt. I’d like to report that it was because I snagged it on a doorframe, or the threads wore thin, or even a freak tornado ripped it from my chest. I’d rather not admit that it had anything to do with that extra bacon strip I added to my double cheeseburger. This shouldn’t be a problem…the button…not the bacon—bacon is never a problem. Us gals know that nowadays most every clothing item we buy has a cute little Ziploc baggie attached to it with an extra button included…sometimes even matching thread. Of course, I have saved every one of those tiny button bags since this handy concept came about. In the process, I have amassed a nifty collection that could easily fill two shoe boxes. Enter Murphy’s Law. Upon busting my button I immediately searched through my hoard. While I searched, fond memories of clothing-gone-by surfaced: I see a button from a pair of acid washed jeans…then remember…I accidentally poured bleach in with the colors. Who knew it would catch on and become so trendy? I find one from a pair of bell bottoms after they came back in style for the second time around. I’m still hanging on to them because you can bet they’ll show up just as sure as your mother-in-

law will…uninvited on the one day out of the year you choose to leave the sink full of dishes and have a pajama day. There’s a button from a bigshouldered shirt from the 80’s. The shirt is long gone. Sadly, I still have the big shoulders. After thoroughly searching, I realize there is not a button for the one I have lost. How can that be? How can every buttoned clothing item I have ever purchased come with a replacement except for the one I desperately need it for? Murphy! Yes, that old scoundrel is at it again reminding us that events are not going to turn out as they should. Darn him. I look outside. The clouds are gathering and it is as dismal as I feel. Hmmm. I know how to brighten things up and change the forecast. I’ll buy an umbrella. Thanks Murphy! Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder.

Enjoy Hayrides and more at the Fall Harvest Festival Bring the family out to historic Towne Park for some good old-fashioned Fall Festival fun. Join the St. Charles County Parks Department for an afternoon of live music, free children’s games and crafts, scenic hayrides through the park, tasty festival food and much more! Sample some freshly pressed apple cider and help stir up a batch of homemade apple butter at the second annual Fall Harvest Festival at Towne Park, located at 100 Towne Park Drive near Foristell from 10 am – 4 pm on Saturday, Oct. 11. Lots of exciting demonstrations, 19th century games, good food and entertainment is planned for the day. The 4th Street band is scheduled to entertain guests with the sounds of rock, country and blues music from 11 am – 3 pm. Visit the demon-

www.stygar.com

usbank.com

stration area and watch a blacksmith turn steel into art or hand dip your own candle at this year’s event. Children and adults will also delight in a variety of historic games, including walking on stilts, nine pin bowling with a pumpkin and much more! And don’t forget to check out the variety of pumpkins, jams, honey, apple butter and other goods for sale under the big tent. Hayrides through the park are $2 and children under five years old are free. Plus, the Wentzville VFW Post 5327 will be selling hamburgers, brats, hotdogs and pulled pork throughout the day. For more information, contact the St. Charles County Parks and Recreation Department at 636.949.7535, or visit www.stccparks.org.


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

Around Town

5

What are Home Equity Loans and Lines of Credit? A home equity loan allows you to borrow money using your home’s equity as collateral. If reading that sentence was enough to make your head hurt, no worries. I will explain. First, some definitions: Collateral: property that you pledge as a guarantee that you will repay the debt. If you don’t repay the loan, the lender can take possession of the collateral and sell it in order to get its money back. With a home equity loan, you pledge your home as collateral. Equity: the difference between how much your home is worth and how much you owe on the mortgage. In short, a home equity loan or line of credit is a second mortgage that lets you turn equity into cash. There are two different routes when it comes to a home equity mortgage product: a home equity loan or a home equity line of credit (HELOC). A home equity loan is a one-time lump sum distribution that is paid back over a

set amount of time, with a fixed interest rate, and the same payment amount each month. You only receive funds once and cannot borrow again from the loan. A HELOC has a revolving balance, much like a credit card. A HELOC allows you to borrow up to a certain amount for a set time period. During that time, you can withdraw money as you need it. As you pay off the principal, you can borrow the money back again. A home equity loan or line of credit is a great way to access cash for life’s unexpected or even planned expenses. Many times borrowers will use the equity in their homes to pay for home improvements or home additions. Other common uses include college expenses, consolidating high interest debt, or even purchasing cars or RVs. Home equity loans or lines of credits also offer potential tax advantages. You may be able to deduct the interest you pay on your home equity loan or

line of credit. Please consult your tax preparer and/or legal advisor to discuss your particular situation. It is important to note that with both a home equity loan and a HELOC, you have to pay off the balance if you sell the house.

By Robin Daniels

Robin Daniels is Asst VP/Secondary Market Manager for Peoples Bank & Trust Co. NMLS #408454 | (636) 290-7272 | www.pbtc.net

facebook.com/mycnews

Time for a Financial Checkup! A changing life leads to changing finances-make sure you’re up-to-date For most of us, checkups are a regular part of life. Dental visits, auto maintenance appointments and even glances in the bathroom mirror all help us monitor performance and catch potential problems and assure that all is– or will be–well. What’s true of teeth, engines and grooming is also true of finances: regular checkups are recommended. Why? Changes both great and small affect the strategies people have developed to help achieve their financial goals. Unfortunately, too many people act as though once their financial program is in place their work is done. This isn’t so. As a general rule, Thrivent Financial recommends that you review your financial program at least once each year. Certain life changes–the birth or adoption of a child, a change in marital status, the death of a family member or changes to your health–should serve as reminders that a financial tune-up is in order. Other changes in personal economics can also have a huge impact on financial programs. These may include shifts in employment status or salary, home ownership changes, significant changes in total assets or debt, the receipt of an inheritance, and tax law changes that can all make previous strategies obsolete. If you have a do-it-yourself mentality, a number of print

and electronic resources exist to help monitor your finances. However, most can benefit from the knowledge, experience and insight that financial services professionals offer. Qualified financial professionals can help people evaluate their present financial strategies and keep abreast of new laws, regulations, products and economic developments. Even more important, financial professionals can challenge unrealistic assumptions people may have and help them overcome money management’s greatest threat: procrastination.

To live is to experience change. How and where change will appear is impossible to predict, but a financial checkup is one sure way to help your financial objectives–and your sense of financial confidence–keep pace with all that occurs. Kelly Brickner is a Lead Financial Consultant in the St. Louis Heartland Region for Thrivent Financial. Her offices are located at 3006 Winghaven Blvd. in O’Fallon. For more information, call 636.542.4042.

Invest in your community by banking with a not for profit credit union.

WE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR NEW HOME LOAN

New Home Loan Benefits: Interest rates and terms are competitive Loan decisions made by local qualified staff Low loan fees Loans are disbursed through Title Companies to ensure proper lien waiver coverage Periodic Inspections are made by the title company or lender

You’re Right At Home When You Bank With Us! 4 Convenient Locations to Serve You!

www.TheBetterWaytoBank.org www.thebetterwaytobank.org

Old Monroe 636-655-5601

Moscow Mills 636-356-4000

O’Fallon 636-980-3585

Wentzville 636-332-4906

www.bankofoldmonroe.com


6

Around Town

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Invest in your Community as a Credit Union Member

Building your Dream Home with Bank of Old Monroe

From an outsider’s perspective, credit unions and banks seem very like they are two sides of the same coin. They are both places for you to store your money; they both offer very similar services; and credit unions and banks are run by polite customer service personnel. While these points are all very true, culturally credit unions and banks could not be further apart. This is because investing your money in a credit union can actively support your community. Credit unions were founded on the idea of a group of likeminded people pooling their resources together. Because they do not make money for shareholders like banks, credit unions are able to share their profits by paying out higher returns on deposit accounts and loan money for very small interest rates. This practice allows credit union members to save more money which in turn creates a strong foundation for improving their community. In addition to possessing these traditional credit union attributes, many credit unions take additional steps to enrich the surrounding area. For example, in February of this year, 1st Financial Federal Credit Union launched the Helping People 1st Grant Program wherein employees are able to highlight a nonprofit organization in the area who is making a difference in housing, financial literacy, job training, or education. Employees then spend the month promoting the nonprofit, raising funds for a donation at the end of the month, and volunteering during work hours to help out at the nonprofit. As of September 12th, 1st Financial employees have donated over 220 work hours to Gateway 180- Homelessness Reversed, O.A.S.I.S. Food Pantry, P.A.K.T. Community Center, Habitat for Humanity of St. Charles County, North Grand Neighborhood Services, Willows Way, and KidSmart-Tools for Learning. Credit unions like 1st Financial are actively working to improve the lives of the people who live and work in the St. Louis area. By helping their members save and enacting community initiatives like the Helping People 1st Grant program, 1st Financial proves that credit unions truly are the better way to bank.

A simplified solution to the daunting construction loan process

Waltz into the Next Phase of your life Some call it retirement, but for many, it is a chance to do something more with life. And with a solid retirement plan, you might build the resources to stroll – or waltz – right into the next phase of your journey. A financial advisor can provide the assistance you need to set strategies and take action toward your specific goals and aspirations. Call your Waddell & Reed financial advisor today and ask about creating your personal retirement plan.

The construction loan is a whole different process than the typical family home loan. Starting from scratch makes solidifying a home construction loan more difficult than the traditional loan associated with the purchase of a finished home. Taking the difficulty and stress out of the financing process of building a dream home is what the banking experts at Bank of Old Monroe have perfected. Bank of Old Monroe’s 12-Steps to a dream home construction loan 1. Purchase the property: A Bank of Old Monroe Loan Officer will determine the down payment or equity the bank would require for a loan against the property. 2. Acquire a set of blueprints: Bank of Old Monroe will review the prints and an appraisal of the property and proposed structures will be performed. 3. Hire a General: The homeowner will hire a General Contractor to build and manage the construction. The GC is important and will work directly with the homeowner and title company for purposes of disbursing the funds provided by the bank. 4. Determine the cost breakdown: Bank of Old Monroe can provide a cost breakdown sheet or the General Contractor may provide their bid sheet to determine the projected cost of the project. 5. Title companies involvement: The bank will typically require that the money being disbursed be drawn by a bank preferred and approved title company. 6. Closing cost: Closing costs vary per institution. Typical fees would be an origination fee, inspection fee, title company charges relating to the loan disbursement, title search fees, title insurance cost, recording fees for legal documents, flood certification fee and others.

Investing. With a plan. KRISTIN WARD www.kward.wrfa.comwww.kward.wrfa.com One City Place Drive, Ste. 30 Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314-567-6700 kward01@wradvisors.com

Waddell & Reed, Inc. (05/14) Member SIPC

MAKE LIFE

WORK FOR YOU Life insurance can help protect your family, your dreams and your lifestyle today. As your needs change, it can also offer tax advantages and a source of potential income for you in retirement. Contact us about an insurance checkup today! Kelly L. Brickner

CLU®, CLTC®, FIC Lead Financial Consultant

INSURANCE CHECKUP

3006 WingHaven Blvd. O’Fallon, MO 63368

636-542-4042

Kelly.Brickner@Thrivent.com Facebook.com/Kelly.Brickner.Thrivent LinkedIn.com/in/KellyBricknerThrivent Twitter: @Brickner_Kelly Insurance products issued or offered by Thrivent Financial, the marketing name for Thrivent Financial for Lutherans, Appleton, WI. Not all products are available in all states. Thrivent Financial representatives are licensed insurance agents/producers of Thrivent. For additional important information, visit Thrivent.com/disclosures. Thrivent Financial and its representatives and employees cannot provide legal, accounting, or tax advice or services. Work with your Thrivent Financial representative and, as appropriate, your attorney and tax professional for additional information.

Appleton, Wisconsin • Minneapolis, Minnesota • Thrivent.com • 800-847-4836

28145F N4-14

www.themissouribank.com

7. Builders Risk Insurance: Homeowners should consult their insurance agent on the cost of builders risk insurance. 8. Application: The bank will require an application showing the financial information of the borrowers. 9. Timeline and expectations: Once the application is received the bank will do a formal review of the financial capability of the borrowers including the possibility of payments into the future. 10. Approval: Once the application and applicable documents are received, the bank will notify the borrowers of an approval usually within a few weeks of the application. 11. Construction Loan: Typically a short term loan is set up for about six months with extensions available in some cases until the home is finished. 12. Permanent financing: The bank will discuss permanent financing options with the borrowers. To discuss this simplified construction loan process with a qualified Bank of Old Monroe home loan expert, call 1.888.661.9990, or visit one of four locations in Old Monroe, O’Fallon, Wentzville or Moscow Mills.

Darrell Harke President/CEO Bank of Old Monroe


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

Business

7

“We’re Open,” Say St. Charles Officials of the St. Charles City Hall Parking Garage On the morning of Monday, Sept. 29, city of St. Charles Mayor Sally Faith (below) officially opens the newly renovated City Hall Garage with a ribbon cutting ceremony. The city hosted a grand opening that included a visit by Bear A. Cade (right) and many city officials. The City Hall parking garage, located at 200 N. Second St., reopened at noon on Mon., Sept. 29 after being closed six months for reconstruction. Photos by Ray Rockwell

Total Access Urgent Care Opening in St. Charles Total Access Urgent Care will have a new and sixth location, 3871 Mexico Rd. in St. Charles, starting Oct. 8 . As with the original five locations, the St. Charles location will provide immediate medical service to walk-in patients. TAUC facilities also provide digital X-ray, specialty referral and on-site pharmaceutical prescription filling. All TAUC sites work together to ensure all patients have access to CT scans, ultrasound, and ad-

vanced laboratory services. Total Access Urgent Care (TAUC) has built its reputation by providing fast, friendly and high quality care at its five existing locations throughout St. Louis. TAUC will bring the same model to St. Charles, with board certified emergency physicians who are trained to diagnose and treat any level of emergency medical presentation. The new St. Charles TAUC facility will host a ribbon cutting at 9 am on Oct. 14.

GREAT JOBS AT A GREAT PRICE! $

300 OFF

Any Job Over $4,000 OR

$

600 OFF

Any Job Over $7,000 Must present ad. Not valid with other offers. Expires: 9/30/14

Call Now to Take Advantage of Our “EARLY BIRD” Specials

DRIVEWAYS PATIOS POOL DECKS ROOM ADDITIONS FOUNDATIONS STAMPED EXPOSED AGGREGATE RETAINING WALLS ACID STAINS

Call for a FREE Estimate! 636-795-2865 or 636-345-3554

Residential/Commercial • Licensed, Bonded & Insured

Locally Owned and Operated Since 1956!

www.gibsonprinting.com


8

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

Movie

“The Skeleton Twins”

Saturday Night Live alumni typically do well in offbeat, offthe-wall comedies. John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd even created a cult phenomenon with The Blues Brothers movie in 1980. A few years later, Aykroyd and Bill Murray teamed up with Harold Ramis for Ghostbusters, the legendary comedy that just celebrated its 30th anniversary. When it comes to drama, however, SNL veterans really shine. Case-in-point: Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader in The Skeleton Twins. Though filled with brilliant comedic moments, this is a serious character study about two siblings trapped in unfulfilling lives. Hader plays Milo, a failing Los Angeles actor who attempts to take his own life. He’s saved at the last minute because he cranked up his stereo before slitting his wrists. Up in New York, his sister Maggie (Wiig) receives news of his suicide attempt, but she had been ready to overdose on prescription medication at the same time. She brings her brother back to the East Coast to rest and recuperate, but this turns out to be an emotional journey for both of them. Old wounds get reopened, but there may or may not be a chance for real healing. A solid blend of comedy and tragedy, The Skeleton Twins showcases what Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader can do on the big screen. Hader embraces the role of Milo, an openly-gay actor whose romantic and professional life hasn’t turned out quite as he hoped. His East Coast reunion with Rich (an excellent Ty Burrell) offers even more insights into his childhood and sexuality. Wiig is nothing short of amaz-

By Steve Bryan - Rated: R

ing as Maggie, who appears to have it all, including uber-perfect husband Lance (Luke Wilson). Yet, she balks at having Lance’s baby and finds herself drawn to other men. She takes scuba classes to make her husband happy, but she pretty much hates every minute of her life. Director Craig Johnson uses Wiig and Hader to his best advantage. When Lance offers Milo a job clearing brush outdoors, a hilarious Hader shows up underdressed and unwilling to handle the muddy leaves and broken branches. Yet, Hader’s Milo is not a stereotypical character by any stretch of the imagination.

drug use, c u r rently is playing in theaters.

The Skeleton Twins photo courtesy of Universal Pictures

Intense and quite funny, The Skeleton Twins is a wonderful film that doesn’t limit the abilities of Wiig and Hader. For 40 years, SNL has seen the rise of some great comedians, but it also gave birth to solid performers like

these two. Life is both comedy and tragedy, and Wiig and Hader know how to play both aspects. The Skeleton Twins, rated R for language, some sexuality, and

B o r n and raised in South St. Louis, Steve Bryan is now based in Anaheim, California, and has been allowed access to movie and television sets to see actors and directors at work. Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, Steve is, at heart, still the same wide-eyed kid who spent countless hours watching classic movies at neighborhood theaters.

www.kflandscapes.com

TWO GREAT LOCATIONS SHOWING THE GAMES YOU WANT TO SEE!

GREAT ! LS SPECIA ST. CHARLES

3434 Harry S Truman Blvd. St. Charles, MO 636-940-0051

9

FLORISSANT

www.mattinglyssportsbar.com WWW.MATTINGLYSPORTSBAR.COM

8108 N. Lindbergh Florissant, MO 314-831-9181

www.Louisiana-Mo.com

FREE! Sunday, Oct. 19 | 3 - 7 p.m.

caramel apples - kettle corn - cider - hot chocolate

Free Pumpkin - Hayrides Pumpkin Chunkin’ - Bonfires Chili Cook Off - Face Painting and MORE!

mscwired.org/pumpkin

mscwired.org

www.windowworld.com

www.rayrockwell.com


10

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

facebook.com/mycnews

FROM

ly Your On

STOP

$

0 DOWN!

DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME GOING TO BUY HERE, PAY HERE LOTS

WE CAN HELP REGARDLESS OF YOUR CREDIT SITUATION

Repos - Bankruptcies - Foreclosures - Multiple Repos - Open Car Loans

REAL CAR LOANS

We work with dozens of banks to secure the financing you need to get you into the vehicle you want. Call us directly to get the process started.

636.887.0626

Lake St. Louis Auto Collection is not your typical automotive dealership. From the moment you step onto our lot, you will notice that we have paid great attention to detail in creating an atmosphere that is welcoming and comfortable. We pride ourselves in being the number 1 Pre-Owned Auto Dealer in the St Louis area in Customer Satisfaction!

12542 Veterans Memorial Pkwy Wentzville, MO 63385

We will pay off your trade regardless of balance!

ourcarguy.com OurCarGuy.com SUDOKU:

Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.

Sports NCAA Record set at Lindenwood Football Game The Lions gridiron team fell behind to Emporia State early in the game and played hard at the end but was unable to make up the difference in a 37-22 loss. Impressive statistics were compiled by several of the Lindenwood players during the contest in Emporia, Kan. Quarterback Graham Lindman started his first collegiate game led the team to its most productive offense of the season with 391 yards of total offense. He passed for over 300 yards, completed 60.5 percent of his passes, and completed three touchdown tosses. On the other side of the ball, linebacker Connor Harris had career high 23 tackles, with 12 solo stops and 11 assisted tackles. This was his second 20-tackle game in as many weeks. The 23 tackles are the most in NCAA Division II this season for a single game, and ties for the 18th-most in NCAA Division II history. Other Lindenwood standouts in the game were a pass caught by wide receiver Sam Sealer for a score. Wideout Alex Robinson led the team with six receptions and 90 receiving yards. Runningback Anthony Cade had 48 rushing yards on just six carries. Lindenwood returns home this Saturday for a 1:30 pm homecoming contest against the No. 1 team in NCAA Division II, Northwest Missouri. * Thanks to Lindenwood’s Tyler Scheller-Sports Information Graduate Assistant Rams Come Back Strong After Falling Behind Early After a bye week, the St. Louis Rams tried to put together different offense and defensive strategies to get their game going in a positive direction. The halftime score saw the Philadelphia Eagles leading the Rams 20-7. The last 30 minutes of the game saw

the St. Louis club outscore their opponent 2114; but it was still not enough as they lost the game 34-28. Several highlights came out of the contest: • Quarterback Austin Davis completed 29-of49 passes for 375 yards and three touchdowns for a 103.7 rating • The game marked Davis’ second consecutive game with 300-plus yards and three touchdowns. • Wide receiver Brian Quick caught an eightyard touchdown reception and added a fiveyard touchdown reception for his first multitouchdown game of his career • Running back Benny Cunningham tallied his first touchdown of the season on a 14-yard rush and led the team in rushing yards with seven for 47 yards • Cunningham also returned five kickoffs for 126 yards, a 25.2-yard average • At this point linebacker Alec Ogletree has matched Colts LB Robert Mathis for the NFL lead in most fumble recoveries since he came into the league in 2013 with eight • Davis spread his 28 completions to 10 different players * Monday Night Football next for the squad St. Louis Attack to Hold Tryouts Nov. 8 The local team that made it to the X-League championship will be looking for some players to add to the winning roster. The St. Louis Attack will host an open player tryout for the 2015 Season on Saturday, Nov. 8. Registration runs from 9 to 9:30 am, and tryouts will begin at 9:30 am sharp. Pre-registration is recommended. Cost to tryout is $75 if pre-paid before Nov. 1 and $100 Nov. 1-8. The team will hold the program at the Family Arena in St. Charles. Visit www.STLAttack.com for more information. * Great opportunity to strut your stuff Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL.com, among many other activities. Currently he broadcasts a radio show on 590 ‘The Man’ and 1380 ‘The Woman.’

Middle Pick: Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio Community News is proud to offer our readers “Book Buzz.” This column will feature great books for children in three categories: Youngest Pick: early childhood to the first or second grade, Middle Pick: elementary school children, and Oldest Pick: middle school children. Enjoy!

See solution on page 13

Reprinted with permission, Missourian Publishing Company. Copyright 2014.

In the 1920s, baseball was all the rage, bigger than any other sport. Back then Joe DiMaggio was just an Italian kid hawking newspapers. Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio by Jonah Winter is the story of the lanky Yankee hitter’s rise to fame. Growing up, DiMaggio couldn’t get to first base with his dad when it came to baseball. A fisherman—that’s what Joe would be—just like his brothers. The idea didn’t fly with Joe, though. He dropped out of school on the sly and rounded back lot diamonds with his buddies. Tall and soft-spoken, it wasn’t long before Joe was asked to play with the San Francisco Seals. His dad about flipped out, didn’t consider baseball a job. Until Joe was signed as a big leaguer, and bigger money started coming in. Soon the Yankees came calling, just as the Great Depression was sinking people’s hopes. Joe provided them with a reprieve from their troubles as he racked up hit after hit, setting records that still stand today. Handsome watercolor paintings by James E. Ransom detail DiMaggio’s life and present action-packed moments, on and off the field.


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

Recipe:

11

Serve Up Comfort with a Mouthwatering Pork Stew

Comfort food is a staple in every kitchen – it’s the perfect way to unwind with familiar flavors and aromas. But those moments that call for a soul-soothing dish are also great opportunities to spice up traditional favorites by introducing less common ingredients and preparation methods for an unexpectedly delicious twist. Stewing, for example, is one method you might never have tried – but, when you use a tender meat that’s full of comforting flavor like pork, the result is well worth the adventure. Making a stew usually involves browning meat, adding liquid, simmering for a few hours and then adding veg-

etables – easy, proven steps that let you explore different ingredient combinations to keep dishes fresh and inviting. Need inspiration to get started? Try Spanish Pork and Fennel Stew with Saffron Rice. This hearty recipe uses a blade pork roast, simple seasonings and vegetables. To change it up, serve the stew with mashed potatoes instead of rice for soaking up the juices. Find comfort and adventure in the kitchen with pork by visiting PorkBeinspired.com for recipes, tips and more.

pinterest.com/mycnews

Spanish Pork and Fennel Stew with Saffron Rice Servings: 8 Recipe provided by Colombe Jacobsen

Ingredients: Stew: 3 pounds boneless blade (shoulder) pork roast, cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks 4 tablespoons olive oil, as needed Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 head fennel, cored and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 1 large yellow onion, chopped 1 large red bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1/2-inch pieces 6 cloves garlic, minced 1/2 cup dry sherry or apple juice Chopped fresh cilantro Saffron rice: 2 cups long-grain white rice 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 teaspoon crushed saffron threads

For all your graphic design, marketing, and sign needs. (636) 528-7473 www.MooneyMarketing.us Troy, MO 63379

Directions: For stew, heat 2 tablespoons oil in large Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Season pork with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. In batches, without crowding (and adding more oil as needed) add pork and cook, turning occasionally, until browned on all sides, about 6 minutes per batch. Transfer to plate. Add remaining 2 tablespoons oil to Dutch oven and heat. Add fennel, onion, bell pepper and garlic; cover. Cook, stirring occasionally with wooden spoon, until vegetables soften, about 8 minutes. Add sherry; bring to a boil. Return pork with any juices to Dutch oven. Add enough cold water to just cover pork and vegetables, about 6 cups; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cover. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until pork is very tender, about 1 1/2 hours.

Just before pork is tender, make saffron rice. Bring rice, 4 cups water, salt and saffron to a boil in medium saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to very low and cover. Simmer until tender, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand for 5-20 minutes. Fluff rice with fork. Using slotted spoon, transfer pork and vegetables to serving bowl and cover with aluminum foil. Let cooking juices stand for 3 minutes, then skim off fat on surface. Boil over high heat, uncovered, until cooking liquid is reduced by half, about 10 minutes. Season juices with salt and pepper. Pour over pork and vegetables and sprinkle with cilantro. Spoon saffron rice into bowls. Top with stew, sprinkle with cilantro and serve.

www.dpc4u.org


12

What’s Happening

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Send your event to editor@mycnews.com and we'll print it! EVENTS Every Sunday in October: Wings and Worship 10am, Buffalo Wild Wings, 2352Hwy K in O’Fallon. Experience a whole new way to worship. Enjoy free wings, fellowship, contemporary music, and Bible lessons.

O’Fallon Elks Lodge, 1163 Tom Ginnever Ave. in O’Fallon. $20 per person, 8 to a table. Name a mouse for $5. iPad Mini door prize, Raffle Baskets, and 50/50. For information, or to purchase tickets, contact Paul Jokerst at 636.448.9772, or at paul.jokerst@transfigurationchurch.org.

Oct. 10: Church of the Transfiguration Mouse Races 6pm doors open; 7pm, races begin.

Oct. 10-11: O’Fallon’s Street Dance, Fall Fest and Fall Fest Run 7-10pm, 10am-5pm, Municipal

Centre, 100 North Main St. in O’Fallon. Dance the night away followed by all-day festival of music and shopping at the Fall Fest. Free admission and parking. For more information, visit www.ofallon.mo.us/FallFest. Oct. 11: Hill-Fest Family Fun Day 2-5pm, Wentzville United Methodist Church, Wall St. in Wentzville. The church invites the community to its free event featuring petting zoo, pony rides, face painting, obstacle course, bounce houses, wagon rides, games, and hot dogs. For more information, visit www.livelovegrow.org. Oct. 11: O’Fallon Fall Fest Run & Scarecrow Costume Contest 7am, Start/Finish at Municipal Centre, 100 North Main St. in O’Fallon. New this year, choose a 5K or 10K race, and dress to win a prize in the runners’ Scarecrow Costume Contest, too. For more information and registration, visit www. ofallon.mo.us/fall-fest#run, or call 636.379.5606. Oct. 11 Fire House Open House 1-3pm, Fire Station #4 and Public Safety Facility, 3201 Boschertown Rd. Oct. 12: Fall Festival and Turkey Shoot 11:30am-6:30pm, Immaculate Conception-Dardenne, 7701 Hwy N in Dardenne Prairie. Fried chicken & baked ham dinner. Rock climbing wall, bounce houses and a visit by Fred Bird. Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for kids. Carry outs available.

Oct. 13: Kiwanis Club of West St. Charles County golf tournament 11am, Bear Creek Golf Club in Wentzville. The event will benefit students of the Wentzville School District, the Key Club of Holt High School, the Key Club of Liberty High School and the Wentzville School District Biomedical Sciences Program. For more information, call Mike Cunningham at 636.940.5595, or email mcunningham@fsbfinancial.com. October 14: Girl Scout Recruitment Event 7-9pm, Duello Elementary School 1814 Duello Rd. in Lake St. Louis. For more information, visit www.girlscoutsem.org. October 14: Social Security Workshop presented by North Brothers Retirement Strategies 6pm, St. Charles Co. Library McClay Branch, 2760 McClay Rd. in St. Charles. Free Social Security Workshop presented by North Brothers Retirement Strategies. For more information, or to register, please call Sabrena at 636.614.0394. Oct. 15: Tri County Women’s Connection Lunch and Program 11:15-1pm, The Christy Banquet Center, 9000 Veterans Memorial Pkwy. in O’Fallon, Featuring Breast Cancer Awarness Mercy Clinic Oncology, live music by Donna Curdt, and featured speaker Mary Ann Paille. Cost to attend is $14. For more information, or to make reserva-

tions, call Joan at 636.561.0956, Marcia at 636.925.8588, or email millemmons@sbcglobal.net by Friday, October 10. October 16: Girl Scout Recruitment Event 7-9pm, Boone Trail Elementary School, 555 East Highway N in Wentzville. For more information, visit www.girlscoutsem.org. Oct. 16: Social Security Workshop 6pm, St. Charles Co. Library Middendorf-Kredell Branch 2750 Hwy K in O’Fallon. Free Social Security Workshop presented by North Brothers Retirement Strategies. For more information, or to register, please call Sabrena at 636.614.0394. Oct. 18: Greater St. Louis Marching Band Championships, 9am, Lindenwood University, Harlen C. Hunter Stadium, 209 S.Kingshighway in St. Charles. Tickets can be purchased at Hunter Stadium on the day of the event. Cost is $10 for adults and $5 for children, military veterans and senior citizens. Children 5 and under are free. For More Information, visit www.lindenwood.edu/ news/2014/1144.html Oct. 18: Walk With a Child Dinner & Auction 5pm, Troy VFW Post 8828, 444 Hwy. J in Troy. Dinner, silent and live auction presented by Troy Kiwanis Foundation. For donations, tickets, or more information, please call 636.290.6986.


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014 Oct. 18: STREETS FEST… Art Fair: 11am-5pm at The Streets of St. Charles, Fifth Street at Hwy 70 in St. Charles. Featuring artists and performers skilled in a variety of mediums, including paint, sculpture, glass, and photography, as well as cooking demos. Free and open to the public. For more information, visit www.streetsofstcharles.com. Oct. 18 & 19: Assumption Fall Festival 6-11pm and 11am-6pm, Assumption 403 N Main St. in O’Fallon. For more information, visit www. assumptionfallfestival.com Oct. 18: Chapel of the Cross Craft Fair 9am-3pm, Chapel of the Cross, 907 Jungermann Rd. in St. Peters. Oct. 19: Roast Beef & Chili Dinner 11am-6pm, Ebenezer United Church of Christ, 5541 Walnut St. in Augusta. For more information, call 636.482.4894 Oct. 24: Halloween Party in the Park 6:30-8:30pm, Founders Park, 7 Freymuth Rd, in Lake St. Louis. Enjoy a free night of hayrides, bounce houses, flashlight egg hunt, free pictures, balloon artist, games & activities for the kids. For more information, call 636.561.4620. Oct. 23: Wine Tasting Fundraiser Benefiting The Child Center, Inc. 6-9pm, Quintessential, 149 N. Main Street in St. Charles. Tickets are $40 and include four drink tickets to sample wines paired with free appetizers, the option to purchase additional wine tickets three/$10 or two/$5, and more. To register, visit www.thechildcenter.com, or call 636.332.0899. Oct. 24-25:Western St. Charles County Chamber of Commerce Murder Mystery Dinner 6:30pm, Pitman Reception Center, 1545 Wentzville Pkwy. in Wentzville. Tickets are $35 per person and include dinner, drinks, dessert and the show. To make reserva-

tions, contact the chamber office at 636.327.6914, or email info@westernstcharlescountychamber.com. Oct. 25: SSM Health Care free community flu clinics 8am-noon, SSM St. Joseph Medical Park, main lobby, 1475 Kisker Rd. in St. Charles. Caccines will be administered by injection only for ages three years and older. Participants must not be pregnant to receive the vaccine. Oct. 28: St. Charles County Symphony Halloween Performance 7pm, St. Peters Cultural Art Center, 1 St. Peters Centre Blvd. in St. Peters. Kids are encouraged to come in costume as all the orchestra members will be dressed up for the occasion. Admission is free and treats will be given to all children in attendance. Nov. 1: FHC Craft Fair 9am-4pm, Francis Howell Central, 5199 State Hwy N in Cottleville. Over 130 exhibitors featuring everything from jewelry to fall and holiday crafts, bath products, doll clothes, scarves and much more. For more information, call Shelly at 636.448.0629, or email fhccraftfair@hotmail.com Nov. 15: Holy Cross Lutheran Church Craft Fair 9am-3pm, Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8945 Veterans Pkwy. in O’Fallon. Now accepting applications for vendors. 6x8 spaces are $45. Table available $10 each, Electric $5. Looking for handmade items. For more information, call Laura Hoffman at 314.724.6671. Nov. 20: 20th annual Taste of St. Charles 6-9pm, Saint Charles Convention Center. Proceeds benefit local charities. Advanced tickets are $40 per person. $45 per person at the door. For more information, or to buy tickets, visit www.tasteofstcharles.com. Nov. 21: Immanuel Lutheran Ladies Aid Holiday Bazaar 7:30am-2pm, 632 E. Hwy.N in Wentzville. Featuring homemade

baked goods & crafts. Hand Quilted Queen Size Quilt will be raffled off. Lunch served from 11am-1:30pm. Menu includes Roast Beef, Hot Dogs, Chili, German Potato Salad, Slaw, Homemade Pie. For more information, call 636.463.3019. Nov. 22: Celebration Church Fall Craft Fair 9am-4pm, 250 Birdie Hills Rd. in St. Peters. All artisans/crafters selling handcrafted items. Seeking crafters. Guest speakers throughout the day. For more information, or to register, visit www.celebrationcares.org, or call 636.578.0160. Ongoing Events 1st Monday: Gardeners of St. Charles County Monthly Meeting 6:30pm. Location varies. 314.304.7480. 2nd Monday: Winghaven Civil War Round Table 6:30pm, Midwest BankCentre board room, 2299 Technology Dr. O’Fallon. For more informaiton call Mike at 314.276.5018. SUDOKU answers from page 10

What’s Happening

4th Monday: American Legion Post 388 Meets 6:30 pm at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 8945 Vets. Mem. Pkwy. 636.219.0553. Every Monday: St. Peters Rotary Club Noon at St. Peters City Hall, One St. Peters Centre Blvd. www.stpetersrotary.org. Every Monday: The Seasoned Eye Carvers meeting. 9am-noon, St. Charles Senior Citizens Center, 1455 Fairgrounds.

13

For more information, visit www. stcharlesareawoodcarvers.com. Every Monday: Cribbage Club 1pm, Heritage at Hawk Ridge Clubhouse, 235 Pigeon Dr. in Lake St. Louis. For more information, call 636.561.2970. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday: Fitness First Exercise Classes 9:30-10:30am, American Legion Hall, 504 Luetkenhaus Blvd., Wentzville. 314.369.6521.


14

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

ATTORNEY

FOR SALE

help wanted

Novena PRAYER TO ST. JUDE May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Pray for us. St. Jude, Worker of Miracles, Pray for us. St. Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, Pray for us.

www.saintcharlesfamilylaw.com

Say this prayer 9 times a day for 9 days, then publish. Your prayers will be answered. It has never been known to fail.

Thank you, St. Jude. G.W.M.

FOR Rent

SERVICES

facebook.com/mycnews

PET CEMETERY

help wanted

over 2,500 pet burials; over 6 acres; over 40 yrs old. 314-576-3030 www.memoryparkpetcemetery.info www.memoryparkpetcemetery.info

Garage Sale

Statewide Classifieds

help wanted

Check it Out! www.MYCNEWS.com


www.mycnews.com • Community News - St. Charles County • October 8, 2014

15

NOTICE to Bid

CLASSIFIEDS

www.Welsch-healcool.com

www.windowworld.com www.scrubbydutch.com

www.psrapp.com


16

October 8, 2014 • Community News - St. Charles County • www.mycnews.com

Joe Morice

Over the Fence

Pain Relief Everlasting A younger friend once warned me not to remain single in my advanced age and uncertain condition. He rolled his eyes when I told him I tried charming a nurse into matrimony but her husband objected. My friend meant well but he didn’t understand the rituals of courting that deter older men like me. Most of us have been there and done that. But, with age, and self awareness, we realize how silly some of us looked during those enjoyable testosterone-tainted years. For instance, when unattached women get a bit older and join us in pubs, night clubs or church soirees, they often ask us to dance. The reverse of our younger days. Since I view dancing as a ritual not unlike those of male ostriches in heat, I use the excuse of having no cartilage in my right knee. This isn’t a lie. I tore it when I was young and a surgeon warned me the knee would become arthritic if not removed. Since he removed it, and it did anyway, I figured he was probably behind on Porsche payments. Later, I discovered what a trick knee was and does. While dancing or limping around the neighborhood, I risk falling on my keister when the knee collapses with no warning except sharp pain a millisecond be-

fore it happens. It looks as if I’m inebriated, which makes embarrassment an understatement. Thus I tell women it’s an old war wound. In fact, it really is a war wound from a tug-of-war at a picnic when my foot slipped and turned my knee in a direction other than the one it was designed for. The other excuse about those ostriches I dare not use. I readily admit I probably should never have watched those wildlife documentaries on TV. Unfortunately, since the trick knee makes a legitimate excuse for not dancing, it also makes a legitimate excuse for a shapely adorable to find someone who will…or can. Oh well. My friend eventually gave up trying to get me to find someone to marry in case I become incapacitated from disease, or accidents due to falling off rugs, or ignoring “Don’t Walk” signals. Besides, I told him that if I get bad enough to keep me from riding motorcycles, carousing in sports bars, or spoiling grandchildren, I’m better off leaving this world. Why stay if you can’t enjoy it? Doing so when I’m barely able to propel a wheelchair is definitely not enjoyable. He was shocked of course. I told him not to worry, I had it figured out. If I’m paralyzed from a stroke, I made a deal with a sympa-

thetic friend. He’ll rent one of those new brain controlled electric wheelchairs for me to use and I’ll buzz out and look for a “Don’t Walk” signal to ignore. He was not amused. Perhaps his sense of humor needed a tune-up. In reality, I doubt any intelligent female would want to live with me anyway. When we get older, we get set in our ways. We no longer endure yappy ankle-biter mutts that look like chia pets, jagged-edged razors from leg shaving, and health food that tastes like the soil it festered in. I’m also sure said female would fail to tolerate vertical toilet seats, cracker crumbs in bed, and ESPN. Thus, I’m doomed to living in spectral singleness patronizing sports bars with big-screen TVs and female bartenders with interesting rounded places. More’s the pity. Joe Morice is Community News’s blue-collar philosopher. He was born and raised in Missouri and spent most of his childhood on a farm and adulthood operating big machines. He has no formal training as a writer, unless 60 years of writing about any and everything counts. The opinions expressed in this column are Joe Morice’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.

www.Welsch-healcool.com

www.rhf.org

www.FKNursery.com


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
CNSTC: October 8, 2014 by Community News - Issuu