December 12, 2018
The gift of a tree
Around Town
By Dr. Chris Kilbride. Pg. 2
School New schools, attendance boundaries, ‘Elemiddle’ model for next school year. Pg. 6
School Christian Hospital Auxiliary named best in state. Pg. 7
Features
On Sunday, Dec. 9 volunteers distributed over 300 trees and stands to pre-registered veterans.
Submitted photo
The Kaufman Fund’s Trees for Vets program distributes Christmas trees to veterans, their families and veteran organizations
CLASSIFIEDS AND HOME & GARDEN. Pg. F-2 /F-3 Moore On Life, Yeggs & Crossword Puzzle. Pg. F-4
By Charlotte Beard Since 2014, The Kaufman Fund, with its sponsoring partner Enterprise Bank & Trust (formerly Eagle Bank), has distributed over 1,400 trees and tree stands through its Trees for Vets program to veterans, their families and veteran organizations. This year The Kaufman Fund worked with St. Patrick Center, UMSL, USO, Catholic Charities, several reserve units and others to obtain the names of veterans to receive trees. On Sunday, Dec. 9 they distributed over 300 trees and stands to pre-registered veterans at Enterprise Bank & Trust located at 14231 Manchester Rd in Manchester. “Last year the turn-out was so high that (Enterprise Bank) had to take names to
Recipe, Movie & Sudoku. Pg. F-1
schedule people,” stated Irwin Loiterstein, one of the Trees for Vets program planners. Howard Berliner, one of the other planners, is responsible for ensuring each tree being distributed has been pre-assigned. This year, St. Patrick Center was slated to pick up 100 trees for distribution and another 75 trees were collectively pre-assigned to Sts. Joachim and Ann and VFW of Perryville. “We have four different groups helping us,” stated Berliner. “We have volunteers that have been helping The Kaufman Fund through the years.” Berliner also shared that this year they had volunteers on hand to serve food and coffee from Nothing Bundt Cake, Philly Pretzel
Factory, and Our Coffee Guy during the distribution event. Military service people in uniform are also on hand to help with the yearly initiative, along with music from Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. This year volunteers from both the Northwest and West County Chambers of Commerce contributed their efforts. The Trees for Vets team also adds joy to their event by bringing dogs that accompanying children love to pet on pick-up day. One of The Kaufman Fund’s key resources is the C.H.A.M.P. (Canine Helpers Allow More Possibilities) Assistance Dogs nonprofit See ‘GIFT’ page 2
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Around Town
December 12, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
‘GIFT’ from cover
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organization, whose belief is that dogs are not only our best friend, but they frequently serve as healing companions. At one of the yearly events, military veteran Edward Smith who received a tree shared, “We just recently lost our house. So, we’ve been trying to muddle through and enjoy the holidays as much as possible. I wanted to try to do something for my family to make them happy.” The Trees for Vets program has an official kick-off for its fundraising season on Veterans Day each year but accepts donations for the program all year long. Restaurants such as Raising Cane’s and the Pasta House hosts fundraisers for the program. Pizza World of Creve Coeur was also a part of the initiative this year. One tree and stand donation is $30. Among the individual donors who contribute to the initiative, The Kaufman Fund has had a host of business community donors. Any money collected beyond the funding of distributed trees is used towards other veteran support provided by The Kaufman Fund. Berliner shared, “The St. Patrick Center has an apartment building called Freedom Place downtown off Delmar. They have 60-80 veterans who transition through their apartment building just to get them acclimated. Last year we gave out 86 coats to the people who reside there and this year we will be giving out 60 coats to the residents there. That’s one of the things the extra money from the trees has gone. In the last two years – almost 150 coats we’ve given out to St. Patrick Center.” “We are hoping to do more things like that,” stated Loiterstein. “The funds come in and nobody gets a salary. It all goes back to our projects.” Jonathan Belcher, Sr. Director of Permanent Support for Housing of St. Patrick Center has shared, “Every year we get together a few times, talk about what the needs are, and they are really supportive and help. (They are) able to come through and support our veterans in what we’re doing at St. Patrick Center.” To donate a tree(s) through sponsorship for 2019 visit: http://
Submitted photos On Sunday, Dec. 9 volunteers distributed over 300 trees and stands to pre-registered veterans.
thekaufmanfund.org/trees-for-vets-2/. The Kaufman Fund welcomes your donations all year long for any of its initiatives which can be found by visiting www.thekaufmanfund.org. The Kaufman Fund is dedicated to helping veterans in need. They strive to bring the veteran community together to help those in need of housing, counseling, healthcare, rehabilitation, and legal needs.
COMMUNITY VOICES #RitenourExcellence on display each day in Ritenour School District By Dr. Chris Kilbride We are off to a great start this year in the Ritenour School District, and the region is becoming more aware of the success of our students, staff and programs that reflect #RitenourExcellence. We are well on our way to no longer being the best kept secret in St. Louis County. We are making gains, and our recent graduates are a perfect example: • Twenty-five students earned full-ride financial packages to colleges and universities of their choice. • Twenty students are participating in athletics and activities at the college level. • Eleven students are members of the United States armed forces. • College-bound graduates earned $10.5 million in scholarships and financial aid, up from $1.1 million in 2015. The class of 2018 – our 100th class to graduate from Ritenour High School –
also bestowed an iconic legacy gift that represents our focus on Ritenour Excellence for current and future generations of Huskies. A new 1,420-pound Husky statue is now proudly displayed in front of the auditorium at Ritenour High School. Its bright blue eyes are gazing toward Moore Field – the home of the football Huskies and track team. We invite all community members and alumni to use the statue to mark significant accomplishments that can be shared with the community. Our Ritenour family is invited to take a picture with the new statute and share it on social media using #RitenourExcellence. The pictures will be shared with the Ritenour community through social media as evidence of the positive impact of all Ritenour students, graduates and community members. Our success is not possible with the commitment and strong support of our community. We are humbled to have
earned the trust of our community, which is a gift we do not take for granted. Trust is earned through maintaining open communication, showing care and concern for the welfare of others as well as having a level of competence in our core work. If you are interested in reading more great news about the Ritenour School District visit our website – www.ritenourschools.org or follow us on social media on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Dr. Chris Kilbride is in his seventh year as Superintendent for the Ritenour School District. He is also chairman of the North County Incorporated Board of Directors. The opinions expressed in this column are the columnist’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • December 12, 2018
Start out the New Year right with Oasis Exercise Classes ExerStart is a low-intensity exercise class designed to improve balance, flexibility, strength and mobility for adults 50-plus at any fitness level that takes place Mondays and Wednesdays, Jan. 7 through April 29, 2019 from 9:30 – 10:30 a.m. Class is taught by older adults for older adults and starts at the Florissant JFK Center and then at the Florissant Senior Dining Center. Cost is $31 for 31 sessions. No running, heavy weights or fancy workout equipment. All participants receive a free resistance band. The benefits of this program include improving ability to perform daily activities, improving mood and memory and developing friendships with others. For more information or to register, please call Oasis at 314-862-4859 extension 24. Tai chi for Arthritis for Fall Prevention is evidence-based, and according to medical studies, has been proven to enhance the health of older adults that takes place Mondays and Wednesdays, Jan. 7 through March 6, 2019 from 1 – 2 p.m. The goals of this program include improving balance, strength, flexibility and stamina, improving relaxation, vitality, posture and immunity, increasing functional fitness and creating a sense of achievement. The class starts at the JFK Center and then at the Florissant Senior Dining Center. Cost is $64 for 16 sessions. For more information or to register, please call Oasis at 314-862-4859 extension 24.
Around Town
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State representative celebrates Thanksgiving holiday by giving back On Nov. 20, State Submitted photo Representative Steven Roberts joined members of the community for a Thanksgiving celebration at Yeatman-Liddell Preparatory School in St. Louis. The event, hosted by Roberts, featured a Thanksgiving meal by Carrie’s Corner Market, as well as 200 frozen turkeys given away by Roberts. Roberts said he was inspired to host the event after attending a Trunk or Treat event, and said it was a wonderful opportunity to engage the community and give back. “As the holiday season approaches, I am grateful for the many people who have guided and supported me throughout my life and during my career. I would like to take this opportunity to personally say “thank you” for the privilege of representing the 77th Legislative District in our state’s capitol; serving as your State Representative is one of the greatest honors of my life,” Roberts said. “With perseverance, hard work and focus we have been able to implement changes to move our city forward.”
Roberts went on to thank the sponsors for the event which included, Sister’s Helping Each other Reach a Higher Height (S.H.E.R.A.H), Ameren, the St. Louis Carpenter’s Union and Schnucks. He also thanked the St. Louis Dream Center who volunteered to pick up the 50 crates of turkeys. Because of everyone’s effort, 200 families were able to have a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner this holiday season.
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Around Town
December 12, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
Local Author Spotlight: Shannon Tiunna Entrepreneur Shannon Tiunna will release her first book “Manners Over Money” on Dec. 9 at Sessions Smoke House at 185 Dunn Road in Florissant from 3 – 5 p.m.. This book will teach you the importance of how using something so simple as good manners... being empathetic, patient and kind can increase not just your income but your lifestyle as well. Using Shannon Tiunna’s “M.O.M”. (Manners Over Money) approach has doubled her income and she will share with you some of the keys that have helped
her become a success, just from being nice! Shannon grew up in Webster Groves, Missouri but when her family fell on hardship, she transferred to the Normandy School District. Shannon was determined to graduate and she did so in 1997 from Normandy High School. Long after she graduated being in between jobs, she decided on the career path in the beauty industry. Shannon graduated from Academy of Beauty School of Cosmetology in 2005 and had been in the Beauty Industry now for 13 years. Shannon has owned two salons, giving back to her community in her “we will work for toys” toy drive and empowering women who
have suffered from hair loss and insecurities. Shannon then saw a bigger vision and joined a new team of entrepreneurs at Sessions Luxury Grooming Beauty Salon. Being a single mother to a son Luke, working days in a salon and overnight as a security guard at Washington University gave her a lot of time to self-reflect. She knew she wanted to give her son the tools he would need to gear his life in a positive successful direction. It wasn’t until she began to work with clients that suffered from hair loss such as Alopecians, Cancer Survivors, and people with Lupus, that she found her true calling. The power of manners has brought Shannon Tiunna much fortune and the reason for her to write the book.
Hazelwood firefighters get in spirit of giving by donating winter coats w w w. s e n i o r s h e l p i n g s e n i o r s . c o m / s t l o u i s c e n t r a l
www.amazon.com
Peace & Joy a concert featuring songs of peace and joy for the holidays
PRESENTED BY THE CHORAL ARTS SINGERS
Friday, December 7, 7:30 p.m. United Church of Christ - Zion 725 Main St., Troy, MO
Sunday, December 9, 3:00 p.m. Assumption Parish Chapel 403 N. Main St., O’Fallon, MO
Sunday, December 16, 4:00 p.m.
Dardenne Presbyterian Church 7400 Outer Rd. 364, Dardenne Prairie, MO
Admission is FREE. Donations appreciated.
Photo courtesy city of Hazelwood Members of the Hazelwood Firefighters Community Outreach Program purchased new winter coats for students who needed them at Russell Elementary and McNair Elementary Schools. They wanted to make sure every kid who needed a winter coat got one before the temperatures dropped below freezing. Hazelwood Firefighters visited both schools and let the kids pick out their coats and try them on. They even helped the students write their names inside the coats with permanent markers.
Members of the Hazelwood Firefighters Community Outreach Program started their Season of Giving early this year by joining forces with other agencies in supporting the annual “Warner’s Warm-Up Coat Drive.” Hazelwood Firefighters gathered donated coats and gave them to social service agencies that assist needy families throughout the bi-state region. In addition, the Community Outreach Program hosted at barbecue fund-raiser at Fire Station #2 on Oct.13 and raised a lot of money for upcoming projects such as “Operation Warm,” “Operation Glow” and the “Santa Parade.” Some of the funds were used by the firefighters to purchase winter coats for students who needed them at Russell Elementary and McNair Elementary Schools. They wanted to make sure every kid who needed a win-
ter coat got one to stay warm before temperatures started dipping below the freezing mark. Last month, Hazelwood firefighters visited both schools and let the students pick out and try on the coats. They also wrote the student’s name inside the coats with permanent markers. This was all done as part of their “Operation Warm” project. Residents interested in supporting the Hazelwood Firefighters Community Outreach Program can drop off their check or cash donation at Fire Station #2, 6800 Howdershell Road, between the hours of 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday. They also also make contributions online using the Hazelwood Firefighters’ PayPal account at hazelwoodfirefighters@gmail.com. Just write in the Notes section which project the money is intended for.
www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • December 12, 2018
Creve Coeur City Administrator announces resignation Mark Perkins, City Administrator for the City of Creve Coeur, has announced his resignation to become Town Manager of Paradise Valley, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix. “The decision to leave Creve Coeur is a difficult one, but Paradise Valley represents a new challenge for me in another great community,” said Perkins. “It will also allow me to be close to family who live in Arizona and California, and my daughter and son-in-law will also soon be moving west to Colorado.” Perkins added, “I have been truly blessed and honored to work with an outstanding staff, dedicated elected officials and engaged citizens for these many years in Creve Coeur. I have also been fortunate to work with so many outstanding city administrators and other regional leaders throughout the St. Louis area.” Perkins will begin work in Paradise Valley in January, and will remain in his current role in Creve Coeur until then. The Creve Coeur City Council scheduled a special work session to discuss plans for filling the vacancy. “I would like to thank Mark Perkins for his 19 years of service to the city of Creve Coeur. His proactive management style has contributed, immeasurably, to the stability and betterment of our community,” said Mayor Barry Glantz. “Mr. Perkins’ expertise and guidance will be greatly missed – and finding an equally qualified candidate to fill this highly specialized position is a task to which the city council and I will devote our immediate time and attention.”
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Creve Coeur Director of Public Works Receives the 2018 Missouri American Public Works Association Public Works Leader of the Year Award Creve Coeur Director of Public Works, Jim Heines, was named the 2018 recipient of the Missouri American Public Works Association (APWA) Public Works Leader of the Year Award. The award was presented to Heines at the Missouri APWA Fall Conference on Nov. 5. The annual award recognizes outstanding career service achievements of individual public works professionals and officials, from both the public and private sectors, focusing on the individual’s career service rather than a single project. Heines began his career in public works with the city of Glendale Department of Public Works, working his way up from an entry-level position to public works foreman. He joined the city of Creve Coeur in 1989 as a maintenance worker for the Department of Public Works and rose through the ranks as a foreman, stormwater designer, construction inspector, project manager, assistant director and acting director before
taking on his current role of Director of Public Works in 2009. During his time with the city of Creve Coeur, Heines has led the city’s roadway maintenance programs and a number of major construction projects, including enhancements to Olive Boulevard and the Olive/270 interchange. Heines is currently overseeing the planning, design and construction of the new Creve Coeur Police Station, to be completed during summer 2019. “Jim’s work ethic is unparalleled, and beyond that, he puts his heart into his work,” said Mark Perkins, City Administrator. “Creve Coeur is fortunate to have the benefit of Jim’s leadership in public works for so many years, and we are thrilled to see him recognized as an outstanding leader in his field by the American Public Works Association,” said Creve Coeur Mayor Barry Glantz.
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School
December 12, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
New schools, attendance boundaries, ‘Elemiddle’ model for next school year The 2019-2020 school year will introduce a new Normandy to students, families and the community. The next school year will see four significant changes for the collaborative: • Elementary (or ‘Elemiddle’) schools with grades one through eight. • Closing the Normandy 7th8th Grade Center. • Re-opening Bel-Nor as an ‘Elemiddle’ school • Opening the new Normandy Early Learning Center serving students in pre-school, pre-kindergarten, and kindergarten. At its Nov. 12 public meeting, the Normandy Joint Executive Governing Board (JEGB) approved the collaborative’s recommendation for realigning the school attendance boundaries. The JEGB’s approval of the recommendation sets the stage for these major changes occurring in the 2019-2020 school year.
Even with the realigned attendance boundaries, most students will remain at their current school. However, with the collaborative closing the Normandy 7th-8th Grade Center, and moving to a grade 1-8 model for the elementary levels, some students will be assigned to Bel-Nor which will become the Collaborative’s fifth ‘Elemiddle’ school. The Bel-Nor building is currently serving as the Normandy Kindergarten Center. Kindergartners will join pre-kindergarten and pre-schoolers at the new Early Learning Center. “In the last 10 years, Normandy opened and closed schools, and as a result, there are some families with students attending schools which are not in their neighborhoods,” explained Dr. Charles J. Pearson, Normandy Superintendent of Schools. “The realigned boundaries will also support our move to 1-8 Elemiddle schools and help us move to a neighborhood school concept for our families.” With the closing of the Nor-
SCHOOL BOARD CANDIDATE FILING The School District of Jennings encourages qualiied persons interested in running for a position on the Board of Education to le for candidacy in the April 2, 2019 election. Interested persons may le at the St. Louis County Election Board at 725 Northwest Plaza Drive, St. Ann, MO, 63074. Candidates must present a valid Missouri Driver’s License or State Identiication Card. Candidates can le between the hours of 8:00 AM and 4:30 PM, Monday through Friday from December 11, 2018 through January 15, 2019. (On the last day of ling only, candidate ling ends at 5:00 PM). The Board of Elections offices will be closed on the following dates: December 13th, 24th, and 25th 2018 and January 1, 2019. Offices may also close as a result of inclement weather or other unforeseen circumstances. Further we information can be found via the following website: http://www.stlouisco.com/YourGovernment/Elections First day lers will select a number by random drawing to determine placement on the ballot. After the rst day, candidates will be placed on the ballot in the order of their ling. At the time of ling, a copy of a notarized affidavit declaring no delinquency of local and state taxes shall be provided. The affidavit form can be found online at http://dor.mo.gov/forms/512.pdf or may be picked up at the Jennings School District, Central Administration Building at 2559 Dorwood Drive, Jennings, MO, 63136. It is the responsibility of the ler to submit the original affidavit to the Missouri Department of Revenue. For additional information or questions regarding ling, please contact the St. Louis County Board of Elections at 314-615-1800.
The map of the realigned school attendance boundaries which was approved by the Normandy JEGB’s November 12 public meeting. There were four options considered and shared with the public prior to JEGB approval.
mandy 7th-8th Grade Center next school year, the realigned boundaries will determine, based on a student’s address, which Elemiddle school the current seventh graders will attend in the 2019-2020 school year. The transition to a grade 1-8 configuration will send the current seventh grade students to one of the reconfigured ‘Elemiddle’ schools: Barack Obama, Jefferson, Lucas Crossing, Washington, or Bel-Nor (the current Normandy Kindergarten Center). The Collaborative held two public meetings in October to share the options for the realigned attendance boundaries. (Information on the boundary changes was sent to families by mail, posted to the website, and referenced on Normandy social media accounts.) After the sessions, the feedback was forwarded to a district-wide committee which made a recommendation to the Superintendent. Based on the community feedback and committee’s recommendation, the Superintendent made a recommendation on the realigned school attendance boundaries to the Joint Executive Governing Board, who approved the recommendation at the Nov. 12 public meeting. Families directly affected by the school attendance boundary changes will receive specific information regarding school assignments in the coming weeks. One of the primary drivers of the realigned school attendance
Photos courtesy Normandy Schools Collaborative Randal Charles, consultant for special projects in Normandy, left, speaks with a parent at a meeting at Beyond Housing to get public feedback on the proposed realigned attendance boundaries. Paula Pettibone of Wyman also looks on.
boundaries is the transition to the ‘Elemiddle’ (grade 1-8) schools in 2019-2020. The decision to convert to a grade 1-8 school configuration came after reviewing performance data of students in this age group going back to 2002. District leadership found that academic progress consistently stalled when many students reached the middle school years. This stall has led to some students being below grade-level going into high school, which has a negative effect on student academic performance, end-of-course exam and standardized test scores (e.g., ACT, Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) tests). Research points to several benefits of moving to an Elemiddle (grade 1-8) model. Education research found the benefits of the Elemiddle school model include: • Higher levels of parent involvement, who could still be
involved in their child’s school as they were in the earlier grades. • Eliminates at least one additional transition (elementary to middle school) by students across school types. • Higher academic achievement as measured by both grade point averages and standardized test scores, especially in math. • Increased participation in extracurricular activities, demonstrated greater leadership skills, and less likely to be bullied than those following the elementary/middle school track. • Parents, teachers, and administrators at many schools that remained K–8 discovered that their students demonstrated fewer behavioral problems and higher academic achievement than many students enrolled in middle schools.
www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • December 12, 2018
Business
SSM Health DePaul Hospital and Operation Food Search team up to feed expecting mothers and families The OB Care Center at SSM Health DePaul Hospital has partnered with Operation Food Search to ensure expecting mothers and their families have access to healthy food and other necessities throughout their pregnancy, and ultimately improve birth outcomes. The OB Care Center is a full-service prenatal care facility that is committed to serving all pregnant women. They accept maternity patients at every stage of pregnancy. They also have experienced maternal financial counselors on site to help patients who do not have health care insurance obtain coverage for both themselves and their babies. Carolyn Pryor, MD is medical director of maternal services for SSM Health- St. Louis and medical director of the OB Care Center. She says food insecurity is a common problem for many of her prenatal patients. “Our goal is always to give mothers and their babies the best possible start,” Pryor said. “Many of my patients do not have enough food to eat. They may lack transportation to and from ap-
pointments, lack support from family and friends and have high levels of stress in their lives. These social issues can lead to negative outcomes like preterm birth and depression.” A licensed clinical social worker meets with patients on site at the OB Care Center to assess family needs and identify additional resources available in the community. The program has helped patients gain housing, employment, mental health counseling, baby necessities, and winter coats — even a refrigerator to store their food. “We are excited to partner with the OB Care Center to provide care for families in our community. This pilot project aims to explore creative and innovative approaches to best serve families that are struggling with food hardship. Our goal is to help reduce the stress in our families lives and take food insecurity off the table. We believe this will lead to better birth outcomes,” said Jennie Oberkrom, manager of clinical integration for Operation Food Search.
Christian Hospital Auxiliary named best in state
Photo courtesy Missouri Hospital Association Accepting the award Nov. 9 at the MHA annual convention were (from left, seated) Rick Stevens, CH president; Sheryl McClary, CH Auxiliary director; Millie Hancock, CH Auxiliary president, Mary Trice, Auxiliary president-elect, Necole Powell, CH Foundation executive director, (from left, standing) Auxilians Janet Rector, Linda Rieves, Shirley Hemphill, Lea Creamer, Martie Buck, Johnnie Greenlaw and Valerie White.
The winner of the Missouri Hospital Association’s (MHA) “2018 Auxiliary of the Year” is the Christian Hospital Auxiliary. The moment was electrifying as Millie Hancock, Christian Hospital Auxiliary president, and other hospital auxiliary members accepted the award Nov. 9 at MHA’s annual convention. Christian Hospital’s Auxiliary was honored in the large-hospital category (300-plus members) in recognition of nearly 46,000 hours of service
to the hospital, BJC HealthCare and the community during the last 12 months. This is the eighth time the Christian Hospital Auxiliary has received the award in the last 40 years. The Christian Hospital Auxiliary operates the hospital gift shop, as well as the Curiosity Shoppe resale shop, located in the Detrick Building on the hospital campus. The group was chartered in 1964 and continues to host numerous fund-raisers throughout the year.
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What’s Happening
December 12, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
Send your event to editor@mycnews.com and we'll print it! EVENTS Dec. 15: Visit with Santa
Visit with Santa at the James J. Eagan Center from 10 - 11:30 a.m. You may obtain tickets by showing your resident card and paying $2 or for
non-residents $5. Open to non-residents after Dec. 4. A limited number of tickets will be available. Tickets are available at the JFK or JJE centers. Light refreshments will be provided. Bring a camera for a photo with Santa at the James J. Eagan Center. For more information call 314-921-4250 or 314921-4466.
RECURRING EVENTS Any time: Tours at Old St. Ferdinand Shrine by appointment
#1 Rue St. Francois St., Florissant. Donations accepted. Docents needed. 314-921-7582, Vicki Wittman Email: vicray01@aol.com.
Monthly: Free legal services
Every month CORP Legal Services provides: legal document preparations such as wills, deeds and power of attorneys at no cost to St. Louis County seniors 60 years and older. There is an income limit. Contact the coordinator at 314-615-0931 for more information.
Weekdays: Food pantry volunteers needed
www.amerenmissouri.com/renewablechoice
The Harvey Kornblum Jewish Food Pantry is in need of ongoing adult volunteers to sort food, stock shelves and shop with clients. Two-to-four hour shifts are available, Monday-Friday 8:45 a.m.-3:45 p.m. To learn more or to join this fun group, contact Chelsey Banaskavich at 314-513-1674 or cbanaskavich@jfcs-stl.org.
Weekdays: Volunteer drivers
The St. Louis County Older Resident Programs need volunteer drivers who live in St. Louis County to give a few hours during the day to provide transportation to and from doctor’s appointments for our senior residents of St. Louis County that lives near you! No weekends and mileage reimbursement is available. Call today at 314-615-4516.
Mondays: Choral Art Singers
Choral Arts Singers resume practice on Mondays, at 7 p.m. at Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 1860 Lake St. Louis Blvd. in Lake St. Louis. This session will include performance at St. James Cathedral, Chicago on June 25. New singers are welcome. Auditions are not required. See www.concertarts.org.
Mondays: City council meetings
City of Pine Lawn holds regular city council meetings at city hall at 6250 Steve Marre Ave. in Pine Lawn on the second Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. The meetings are open to the public.
Mondays: Workshop meetings
City of Pine Lawn holds regular workshop meetings at city hall at 6250 Steve Marre Ave. in Pine Lawn on the fourth Monday of the month at 6:30 p.m. The meetings are open to the public.
Mondays: A cappella singers
All men who like to sing are invited to come sing with us, The Men of Harmony. We practice every Monday night at 7 p.m. at 5500 Parker Road which is the first house on Uthe Lane. We sing four-part harmony a capella (without accompaniment ). We sing some traditional songs, as well as show tunes and more contemporary music. We do perform for the public at various functions. Persons interested can come right on in or for more information call Al at 314-993-6134.
Mondays-Thursdays: Volunteers needed Community Action Agency of St. Louis County is in need of volunteers to stock shelves, sort food shipments and pack bags for Food Pantry Clients Monday through Thursday from 8 a.m. until 3 p.m. Two to four hour shifts are available. If you are interested, please contact Cheryl Piece at 314-446-4440 or cpiece@caastlc.org for additional information.
Tuesdays: Chair Zumba
Chair Zumba every Tuesday from 2:15 – 3 p.m. at The Bridge At Florissant at 1101 Garden Plaza Dr. (Parker @ Arlington). For more information call 314-831-0988.
Tuesdays: Choir rehearsals
www.midwestbankcentre.com
The St. Louis Chordinals, a women’s a cappella chorus, rehearse every Tuesday evening from 7 - 9:30 p.m. at Beautiful Savior Lutheran Church at 12397 Natural Bridge Rd. in Bridgeton (next to the Bridgeton Government Center). For more information
call Linda at 314-839-3495 or visit stlouischordinals.org.
Tuesdays: Vietnam Veterans Association meeting
Chapter 794 Vietnam Veterans Association meets on the third Tuesday of each month at VFW Post 4105 at 410 St. Francois in Florissant. Meetings start at 7 p.m. For more information contact Walter Kaiser at 314-921-2132.
Tuesdays: TOPS pounds sensibly)
(Take
off
From 9:15 - 10:30 a.m. located at John F. Kennedy Center/Henry Koch Ctr., Howdershell Rd. at Charbonier Rd., Florissant. For more info contact Paul or Connie McConnell, 314-831-5476.
Every 4th Tuesday of the month: Fort Bellefontaine Memorial American Legion Post 335 meeting 6:30pm, Fort Bellefontaine Memorial American Legion Post 335, at the Bellefontaine Neighbors Community Center at 9669 Bellefontaine Rd. Those interested in membership are invited to attend.
Every Tuesday: Bingo Evening at Florissant Elks Lodge #2316
Doors at 4:30 p.m., games begin at 6pm, Florissant Elks Lodge #2316, 16400 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant. For more information, call 314.921.2316.
Wednesdays: TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly)
TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) meets from 6 p.m. -7:30 p.m. at St. Andrews United Methodist Church at 3975 N. Hwy 67 in Florissant. For more information contact Norma at 314-306-4731.
Wednesdays: Are you interested in losing weight?
Check out TOPS #361 Florissant group of supportive ladies. Meetings are on Wednesday mornings beginning at 9:15 a.m. at Florissant Church of Christ, 16460 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant. If interested, please contact Shirley at 314-895-3528 for more information.
Every Wednesday: Bingo Morning at Florissant Elks Lodge #2316
Florissant Elks Lodge #2316, 16400 New Halls Ferry Rd. in Florissant. Doors at 7:30 a.m., games begin at 9:30 a.m. For more information, call 314.921.2316.
Bridgeton Trails Library Branch Programs:
3455 McKelvey Rd., St. Louis, 314.994.3300. Story Time: Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. 9 months to 2 yrs. Room 1 (Lap Time); Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. Ages 3–5. Room 2; Thursdays, 10:30 a.m. Ages 3–5. Room 1.
Florissant Senior Citizens’ Bingo Clubs: 314.839.7604. Every 1st Wednesday of the Month: Stroke Support Group
3-4 p.m., Center for Senior Renewal, Detrick Building 1st floor, 11133 Dunn Rd. For more information, contact Jamie Stevens at 314.653.5331.
Thursdays: Bingo
Community Bingo at the Bridge At Florissant, at 1101 Garden Plaza Drive (intersection of Parker and Arlington) takes place on the fourth Thursday of each month from 2:30 - 3:30 p.m. There will be snacks and prizes. For more information call 314-831-0988.
Thursdays: Quilting guild
Every third Thursday of the month the Flower Valley Quilting Guild meets at 7 p.m. at Zion Lutheran Church at 123 Carson Road in Ferguson. Thursdays: Korean War Veterans Association meeting If you had military service in Korea between Sept. 3, 1945 and the present you are cordially invited to a meeting of Chapter 4, North County Korean War Veterans Association. Meetings take place at the VFW Post 4105 at 410 St. Francois in Florissant on the first Thursday of the month, starting at 7 p.m. For more information contact Walter Kaiser at 314-921-2132.
Thursdays: checks
Blood
pressure
Free blood pressure checks monthly at Life Care Center of Florissant at 1201 Garden Plaza Dr. (off Parker Rd.) in Florissant every third Thursday of the month. Call 831-3752 for more information.
Thursdays: meeting
Women’s
chorus
Every Thursday City Voices Chorus, a women’s chorus singing four-part a cappella harmony, meets at Church of the Good Shepherd at 1166 S. Mason Rd. in St. Louis. Members come from the entire bi-state region. Call Marcia at 636-274-0723 for more information or visit www.cityvoiceschorus.org.
Every Friday: Our Lady of Fatima #4429 Knights of Columbus Bingo
6:45 p.m., Knights of Columbus Hall, 1216 Teson Rd. in Hazelwood. For more information call 314.731.9330
Every 3rd Friday of the month: Bingo
2 p.m., Life Care Center of Florissant, 1201 Garden Plaza Dr. For more information, call 314.831.3752.
Fridays: Celebrate Recovery
For 25 years Celebrate Recovery has been helping everyday folks find freedom from whatever difficulty you are experiencing in your life. This Christ-centered, 12-step program is based on the Beatitudes. We meet every Friday at 6:15 p.m. for dinner ($5); 7 p.m. large group meeting; 8 p.m. Small groups sharing; 9 p.m. dessert at First Christian Church of Florissant at 2890 Patterson Rd. in Florissant. For more information call 314-837-2269 or visit http://www.fccf. org/ or Facebook page Celebrate Recovery-FCCF.
www.mycnews.com • Community News – St. Louis County • December 12, 2018 Saturdays: Free walk-in clinic
Salam Clinic at St. Peter’s United Church of Christ at 1425 Stein Road at West Florissant in Ferguson is a free walk-in clinic open Saturdays from 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. The clinic is jointly sponsored by the Muslim Community of St. Louis (MCSL) and St. Peter’s United Church of Christ to provide basic adult medical screening, treatment and referrals free of charge for the uninsured. For more information or if you would be interested in volunteering, please call 314-521-5694 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. Monday – Friday or visit www.stpeterschurch.org
Saturdays: Clothing sale
On the second Saturday of each month Bethany-Peace UCC at 11952 Bellefontaine Rd. in St. Louis County hosts a clothing sale from 9 - 11 a.m. For sale are used clothing and shoes, some household items, books and toys. Fill your bag for $1.
Saturdays: Grief support
On the fourth Saturday of each month, grief support meeting “A Way With Words Ministry” meets at 12:30 p.m. at Community Christ Fellowship, rear, at 121 Williams Blvd. in Hazelwood, 1/4 mile south of Hwy 270 off Florissant Rd. There are a variety of topics monthly. You are not alone. Come help your heart heal with others. For more information call 314605-3949.
Sundays: Meat shoot
Come and enjoy the meat shoots at American Legion Post 444 located on 17090 Old Jamestown Road between Sinks Rd and Lindbergh starting at noon until dusk every Sunday in February and March in the spring and every Sunday in October through the second-to-last week in November in the fall - rain or shine. Great meat prizes awarded. Sundays: AMVETS meat shoot Sundays in September through April, AMVETS Post 55, located on 8842 Natural Bridge Rd. in Bel-Ridge will be hosting meat shoots with practice beginning at 11 a.m. and rounds starting at noon. Shooters must be 18 or older and will shoot #9’s with no bull barrels or scopes and 675 minimum chokes. The shooting area is indoors and food and drink are available in the club room. For more information, contact 314-630-2671 or 314-330-7269.
Sundays: meeting
Jennings
Do-Dads
The Jennings Do-Dads hold meetings every third Sunday of the month (except June which is the second Sunday and no meeting in December) at 1 p.m. at Classics Bar & Grill at 11601 West Florissant Avenue. Those interested in membership are invited to attend. For more information visit www.jenningsdodads.org.
CHURCH Tuesdays & Thursdays: Chapel of the Cross Lutheran Church GriefShare Support Group
Tuesdays from 2 - 4pm and Thursday from 6:30 - 8:30pm, 11645 Benham
Rd., 314.741.3737
HEALTH Every Mon. & Tues.: Healthy Meal Replacement (HMR) Program Orientation
Mondays: 6–7pm Tuesdays: Noon– 1pm SSM DePaul Wellness Center. Attend a free orientation to learn: the Five Success Variables needed to lose weight, different diet options available and how important physical activity really is. Please call to register at 1.877.477.6954.
Every Monday-Friday: Evening Front Desk Volunteers Needed 4-7pm, Christian Hospital, 1225 Graham Rd. in Florissant. For more information, please contact Lee Shields at 314.653.5032.
1st Tuesday of Every Month: Alzheimer’s Association Caregiver Support Group Meeting
Meeting to be held at Sarah Care of Bridgeton Adult Day Center 11977 St. Charles Rock Road, Suite 121-124, Bridgeton, MO 63044. Join our Support Group for Mutual, Emotional Support and Education. You are not alone. For information, contact Deborah Mabrie at 314-291-5210 or Ferd Fetsch at 314-291-3021 Email: dbland@sarahcare.com ferdfetsch@ sbcglobal.net.
Every third Tuesday of every month: Grief Support Group sponsored by DePaul Hospital 11:30am-1pm, Maryland Hgts. Comm. Ctr., 2300 McKelvey Rd. For more information, call 314.344.6873.
Wednesdays: ACES Schizophrenia Support Group 6:30 - 7:30pm, 314.839.3171.
Sundays: Alcoholics Anonymous Group 109 11th floor conference room at Christian Hospital, 10am, 11133 Dunn Road.
Diabetes Basics:
314.344.7024 for info or 314.344.7220 to enroll.
Crisis Nursery:
Committed to preventing child abuse and neglect, the Crisis Nursery provides short-term, safe havens to children, birth through age 12, whose families are faced with an emergency or crisis. Care is available yearround and serves families throughout the greater St. Charles region. 24-hour helpline: 314.768.3201. Or 636.947.0600, www.crisisnurserykids.org
Center for Senior Renewal:
Day treatment programs for older adults dealing with anxiety, depression, grief, loss and early signs of dementia, 314.653.5123.
Nutrition Education:
SSM DePaul registered dieticians can help you make sure your diet is right for you, 314.344.6157.
Christian Center:
Hospital
Recovery
Outpatient mental health and substance abuse treatment for adults, 314.953.8100.
Volunteers Needed at Christian Hospital: Call 314.653.5032 Nicotine Anonymous
Nicotine Anonymous is a 12 Step Program, free and available to all seeking recovery from nicotine addiction based on principals of AA. Only requirement is a desire to stop using nicotine. Voluntary contributions are accepted. For further info call 314-822-2066 or visit WWW.Nicotine-Anonymous.org.
What’s Happening
port Group for Women Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
12:30 - 2pm, 320 Forsyth Blvd., Clayton, 314.968.3477.
Third Saturdays: Alzheimer’s Association Caregiver Support Group
Parker Rd., Florissant, 9am, 314.355.1516, Helpline 800.272.3900
Last Saturdays: Alzheimer’s Association Caregiver Support Group:
At Delmar Gardens North, 4401
Mother of Good Counsel Home, 6825 Natural Bridge, St. Louis, 10:30am 314.383.4765
SUDOKU answers from page F-1
CROSSWORD answers from page F-2
Look Good…Feel Better
SSM Cancer Care at DePaul Health Center, 12303 DePaul Drive. Radiation OncologyBridgeton. Attend a great makeup session sponsored by the American Cancer Society. A licensed cosmetologist teaches a session of scarf tying, shows a parade of hats, and provides each participant with a makeup kit. Light refreshments are served. Info: 314.344.6090.
SilverSneakers Senior Wellness Program at the Maryland Heights Centre
A fun, energizing program that helps older adults take greater control of their health by encouraging physical activity and offering social events. A Silver Sneakers membership includes access to the city’s Fitness Centre with state-of-the-art fitness equipment and circuit training. Membership is available at little or no cost through your health plan. To find out if you are eligible, visit www.silversneakers.com or call 314.738.2599.
Smoking Cessation Classes:
Free ongoing 8-week sessions, 866. SSM.DOCS to register or for more information.
SSM DePaul Wellness Center:
Classes available on strength training, nutrition and smoking cessation, 314.344.6177
Free Mammogram Screenings:
SSM Health Care free mammogram screenings to women who have no health insurance. Appointments at 300 First Capitol Drive in St. Charles and SSM St. Joseph Hospital West, 100 Medical Plaza in Lake Saint Louis, 636.947.5617
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City of Hazelwood
2019 HAZELWOOD CITY HALL FLOORING REPLACEMENT PROJECT Opening Date: January 23, 2019 1:30 p.m.
The City of Hazelwood, Missouri is acceppng sealed bids for the 2019 HAZELWOOD CITY HALL FLOORING REPLACEMENT PROJECT. Instruccons to Bidders, Specificaaons, and Bid Forms will be available on the www.hazelwoodmo.org City’s website at www.hazelwoodmo.org. Sealed bids will be accepted unnl 1:30 p.m., Wednesday, January 23, 2019.
Speaker’s Bureau:
SSM speakers available for organizations, clubs, community and church groups for up to one hour free of charge, 636.949.7159
ONGOING SUPPORT GROUPS Sundays: Support Group for Women Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
6:30 - 8pm, 7401 Delmar Ave. in University City, 314.993.5421.
First and Third Tuesdays: Sup-
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www.byerlyrv.com
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Sports
December 12, 2018 • Community News – St. Louis County • www.mycnews.com
Sports you see with Gary B... Lindenwood women’s basketball starts league play The Lady Lions will open the 2018-19 Mid-America Collegiate Athletic Association (MIAA) schedule with a road contest at Missouri Western. The Lions are 5-1 in non-conference games thus far. The team last competed two weeks ago at the Drury Thanksgiving Classic where they lost to No. 9 Drury 76-43 but rebounded to topple Truman State 94-83. Against Truman State, the Lions had two 20-point scorers in Kallie Bildner (26) and Charisse Williams (20). Bildner led all of NCAA DII in field goal percentage at 82 percent and is 41-50 from the field this season. The Lions, as a team, are fourth in the NCAA with a field goal percentage of 50.5 percent and is 26th nationally with a rebounding margin of 10. The Lindenwood’s first-year head coach Katie Falco comes to the university after spending the previous 10 seasons as an assistant coach at NCAA DI South Dakota State. * Only the beginning UMSL women’s basketball team dominate contest The University of Missouri-St. Louis squad had four players in double figures on Friday evening as the Tritons defeated visiting Christian Brothers, 75-57, in non-conference action. Sophomore Alex LaPorta scored a game-high 19 points and added 12 rebounds for her fourth double-double of the season, while also tallying four assists and three steals. Highlights include: • Senior Arielle Jackson drained 17 points, had five rebounds, three steals and two assists • Freshman Kiara Stewart had a season-best 15 points and seven rebounds • Senior Kaitlynn Henning chipped in 13 points and five assists UMSL shot 51.8 percent while Christian
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Brothers shot 39.2 percent. At this point in the young season the team has won five of the nine contests. * Solid beginning STL Stampede hires veteran coach The St. Louis Stampede is a professional indoor football team that will play in the National Gridiron League starting in March with their home games at the Family Arena. Coach Bennie Anderson is a St. Louis native and attended high school at Cleveland Junior Naval Academy. Played college football at Tennessee State and was a four-year letterman. After college, he played six seasons in the NFL as an offensive guard. He is currently a teacher at Live for Life Academy in St. Louis and is coach’s high school football. Head Coach Pimmel said, “We were together in 2009 where we won the conference championship and was amazed by his knowledge of the line play and his ability to teach it to our team. He coached offensive and defensive line. Every player said they learned more from Coach Anderson in one season than they did in four years of college. Linemen who are trying to reach the next lever are actually doing themselves a disservice by not playing for this coach. He’s truly great.” Coach Anderson is married with three sons. * Another quality addition to the new team * Godspeed to my little brother Steve who is flying with the angels Gary Baute, a St. Louis native, may be educated in business but he lives and breathes sports. As a fan or an athlete, Gary is all sports all the time. He hosted a radio sports program on KFNS, emceed the River City Rascals’ inaugural season, and co-hosted SportsRadioSTL. com, among many other activities.
www.mycnews.com • Community News • December 12, 2018
Recipe:
Go beyond pecan pie this holiday season
W
hen deciding which dishes to serve this year at holiday gatherings, consider going beyond traditional recipes and use beloved seasonal ingredients in new ways. For example, while pecan pie is top of mind for many dessert-makers, it’s also a perfect time to make new dishes with an ingredient like pecans. It hasn’t been an easy year for the pecan industry, but you can sup-
port American pecan growers and #PledgePecans – that’s a promise to add one more pecan-friendly recipe beyond the pie to your table this holiday. To pledge, visit Americanpecan.com/ PledgePecans and click on seasonal recipes or watch the Pecan-A-Thon, an entertainment variety show spotlighting the growers and showcasing ways pecans can be enjoyed this holiday season.
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F-1
– SUDOKU –
Fill in the blank squares in the grid, making sure that every row, column and 3-by-3 box includes all the digits 1 through 9.
Pecan Apple Stuffing Ingredients: Nonstick cooking spray 1 lb mild Italian sausage 1 T. olive or pecan oil 1 yellow onion, diced 3 celery stalks, chopped 3 garlic cloves, minced 12 ounces herb-seasoned cubed stuffing
2 cups tart apples, chopped 1 1/2 cups pecan halves 1 cup chicken broth, plus additional (optional) 1 1/2 t salt 1/2 t black pepper
Directions: Heat oven to 350 F. Grease large casserole dish or 9-by-13-inch pan with nonstick spray. Set aside. In large skillet, brown sausage, breaking into crumbles. Drain on paper towels. Discard excess grease. In same pan over medium heat, add olive oil. Saute onions, celery and garlic 2-3 minutes, or until starting to soften and fragrant. In large bowl, mix sausage, onion mixture, stuffing cubes, apples and
pecans. Add broth and stir to combine. If stuffing mixture remains dry, add additional broth as desired. Season with salt and pepper; stir to combine. Transfer stuffing to prepared baking dish. Cover with foil and bake 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake 15 minutes.
‘Ralph Breaks the Internet’ is a Disney Christmas gift
I
M O V I E
t’s always a pleasant surprise when a sequel is even better than its predecessor. “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” the sequel to 2012’s “Wreck-ItRalph”,” is a charming holiday release that targets the Internet, social media, gaming and all things technological. The story also has plenty of sly humor, making this an ideal film for the entire family. After the events of the first movie, Ralph (voice of John C. Reilly) and Vanellope von Schweetz (Sarah Silverman) are still best buddies. Ralph even heads over into “Sugar Rush,” where Vanellope drives a race car, to create better tracks for her. The good-hearted Ralph’s honorable intentions go bad and lead to a broken steering wheel controller on the game. Mr. Litwak, the arcade owner, decides to unplug the broken videogame, so Ralph and Vanellope must evacuate all their friends before it powers down. It’s up to these two friends to go onto the Internet, find a new controller and get “Sugar Rush” back in working order. Vanellope loves the excitement of the Internet; however, her big bestie just wants to get back to their arcade games. Directors Phil Johnston and Rich Moore worked overtime to cover the various nuanc-
SEE ANSWERS ON PAGE 9
By Steve Bryan
and “Ralph Breaks the Internet” features a virtual army of them. Vanellope, technically a Disney princess herself, lands in a room full of her contemporaries, including some from the Pixar universe. This sequence allows the animators to have some good-natured fun at the expense of the entire Walt Disney Corporation. With its humor and life lessons, “Ralph Breaks the Internet” is truly an early Christmas present from Disney. The mid-credit and “Ralph Breaks the Internet” post-credit scenes also are diabolphoto courtesy Walt Disney ically clever and worth the price of Animation Studios admission by themselves. “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” rated PG for es of navigating the Internet. Electronic birds tweet messages from digital trees while pop-ups some action and rude humor, currently is attempt to get the duo to click them. An eBay playing in theaters. auction for the elusive “Sugar Rush” controller turns into an expensive bidding war, so Ralph must become an online star to pay for the item. Born and raised in South The core theme of the sequel, though, is St. Louis, Steve Bryan is friendship. Ralph adores Vanellope and doesn’t now based in Anaheim, California, and has been want their relationship to change. She, on the allowed access to movie other hand, is attracted to “Slaughter Race,” a and television sets to see highly dangerous road game. Since she is bored actors and directors at work. with “Sugar Rush,” Vanellope loves what the Though his writing has taken him far from St. Louis, new game has to offer. She even finds a new Steve is, at heart, still the buddy and mentor in Shank (voice of Gal Gad- same wide-eyed kid who ot), a driver in the new game. spent countless hours watching classic movies at It’s not a Disney film without princesses, neighborhood theaters.
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December 12, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com
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NOVENA PRAYER TO ST. JUDE May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be adored, glorified, loved and preserved throughout the world, now and forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, Pray for us. St. Jude, Worker of Miracles, Pray for us. St. Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, Pray for us. Say this prayer 9 times a day for 9 days, then publish. Your prayers will be answered. It has never been known to fail.
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December 12, 2018 • Community News • www.mycnews.com
Yeggs
John Hanna
Crossword: POPULAR PASTIMES
‘Yeggs’ is a comic series about Robert and Bill, two rabbits who have opened their own egg franchise in the Midwest (St. Louis area). We follow their day to day lives, watching as they go about the hectic task of preparing for their one big day every year. Along the way they have adventures filled with fun, comic doings and pathos.
By Cindy Moore
Moore On Life It’s supposed to be the season of holly and jolly. Unfortunately, it’s more like sneezy and wheezy at our house. Besides dumping piles of snow on us, Old Man Winter also dumped an assortment of cold bugs, throat chiggers and nose cooties. My husband and I caught several of each. “We got this handled,” we told ourselves. Anything to avoid a doctor; they can get so personal. Besides TV commercials have convinced us that any malady out there can be handled with an over-the-counter drug. But after experimenting with enough brews and potions and pills to make a junkie jealous and seeing no improvements, we relented. I waited in a room with other sickies and immediately rethought my decision. I had entered the chamber of the living dead. They looked like the tryouts for parts in a haunted house. They must have been the rejects. I was positioned between a moaning mummy shrouded in a blanket on one side with a blue, shivering zombie on the other. He coughed a cloud of Ebola into my breathing space. I made a mental note to douse myself with Clorox and burn my clothes when I got home. I was finally admitted into the examining room. The door opened. Oh great, someone’s child accidentally entered my room. His mom must have sent him out for a potty break and he got the rooms mixed up. He was a youngster who vaguely looked like the boy that mowed my lawn last summer. “Hello, Mrs. Moore. I’m Doctor Embryonic. I’ll be handling your case.”
‘Tis the season
“Wait? Aren’t you the kid who used to cut our grass?” “Why, yes I am. It put me through med school. Now, have you been experiencing any gas, bloating or diarrhea?” “What? Ummm, I don’t feel comfortable discussing such personal matters with my
lawn care specialist.” “Come now, Mrs. Moore, we’re all adults here. Now then, the color of your mucus; what would you compare it to?” “I…I don’t know. Maybe the color of a really disgusting booger.” “Oh, you can do better than that. Here. Take a look at this handy mucus color wheel.” “Hmm, well, it’s somewhere between tropical sewage fungi and sunrise bread mold.” “Excellent. Sounds like a virus. Nothing we can do. Now go home and take lots and lots of overthe-counter drugs; the kind they advertise on TV. Oh, and tell your husband he’s in bad need of grub control.” Cindy Moore is the mother of three superlative kids, servant of two self-indulgent felines and wife to one nifty husband. Her ficticious occupation? Archeological Humorist: someone who unearths absurdity and hilarity in strange and unusual places including public restrooms, the lint filter, and church meetings. Most recently, she excavated a find in her neighbor’s bird feeder. The opinions expressed in this column are Cindy Moore’s alone and do not reflect the opinion of the owners or staff of Community News.
ACROSS 1. Smoothing tool 5. Fireplace mess 8. *Make a scarf, then a sweater 12. Nasal input 13. Crunched info 14. Like a snicker 15. Cautionary offering 16. *Caddie’s offering 17. Ringworm 18. *Current game 20. Bookkeeping entry 21. Express November sentiments 22. Big bang maker 23. Beach Boys: “Be True to Your ____” 26. Deducible 30. COI, OSS, SSU, CIG, ____ 31. *Interlocking challenge 34. ____ of the game 35. Legal excuse 37. Acorn maker 38. Poet Nash 39. Spanish surrealist Joan 40. Tolkien’s “The Two ____” 42. Denotes financial loss 43. Kickbacks 45. Ducks with valued down
47. Ornamental carp 48. Harvest helper 50. Chalupa alternative 52. Virginia Slim, e.g. 56. *What football and baseball have in common, pl. 57. “Put a lid ____ ____!” 58. *Hang out on the ocean or online 59. Lock horns 60. Eyeball 61. Hissy fit 62. Michael Myers’ move 63. “To Kill a Mockingbird” author 64. Thanksgiving tubers DOWN 1. Campus drillers 2. Month before Nisan 3. Stag 4. Faster than allegro 5. Hammerin’ Hank 6. Delivery bird? 7. 3rd H in 4-H, sing. 8. *Needlecraft 9. *Half a round 10. Footnote word 11. *Afternoon’s high 13. Hindu Festival of Lights 14. The Police lead singer 19. Japanese room divider
22. Parker’s angst 23. Little rascal 24. Locomotive hair 25. Like Bigfoot 26. *You fly fish in it 27. Core of personnel 28. Independent African ruler 29. Gives a helping hand 32. Messy substances 33. Horror movie franchise 36. *Bibliophiles’ get-together 38. Willow twig 40. *____ Chi 41. Make a connection 44. Opposite of tea bag 46. Black-tie 48. *Watch a season in a week, e.g. 49. Catlike 50. Queen of Hearts’ pastry 51. Aquatic plant 52. Fairly cold 53. Blackfin or Yellowfin 54. Barbershop request 55. Newts in terrestrial stage 56. Art degrees
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