RISING FROM THE ASHES AFTER POSTNATAL DEPLETION

A life story by LEONIE LAUUKEN

I HAVE ALWAYS FELT A HIGHER POWER, A MYSTICAL CONNECTION TO AN INVISIBLE WORLD. WHEN MY HUSBAND TOLD ME, HE WOULD GIFT ME A SON ON THE NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING, I LAUGHED IT OFF. I WAS FORTY-ONE AT THE TIME, AND ALREADY HAD MY BEAUTIFUL BABES, LUNA (5) FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND LAEL (11) FROM A FORMER MARRIAGE.

My business was thriving, I had just won my fourth business award and spoken at a wellness conference alongside Mia Freedman. I had an epic vision for my service as a spiritual leader.

We are powerful magnetic beings, and we are constantly creating our reality with our feelings, thoughts, and words. We manifest what we do want and want we don’t want. Every feeling we have sends a spark of energy out to the Universe and we are encoding our reality in each moment. I teach women how to use divine guidance from our heart’s intelligence, to consciously cocreate our life with the Universe. Our intuition resides in our hearts. It is our feeling state, our vibration that creates our external world.

Our life path is not our life plan.

On our honeymoon, my intuition told me that I was pregnant, and as you know, a mother’s intuition is always right. I was delighted, but also in emotional turmoil. Having three kids was one of my deepest fears. I only have 2 hands, how was I going to keep them all safe? How was I going to run my business? How was I going to cope? I felt terrible guilt for not wanting him, and shame for these feelings when many women struggle to conceive beyond the age of forty.

Being pregnant again was physically and emotionally intense. I was at the time studying with the Institute of Intuitive Intelligence, running my business, and parenting 2 kids without any support with my husband working long hours. When Lael was diagnosed with ADHD, this left me feeling like a failure as a mum. I developed shingles, a sign that my fear of not coping was taking over.

I knew this child would be another teacher for me, choosing me to uncover another layer of unmet fear. He was born naturally without drugs after an intense 1.5-hour labour. He flew out of me as I was standing up. I roared like a wild woman, my husband caught him, and Lael named him: Phoenix

And then the challenges began. Phoenix had a tongue tie which we had lasered twice, and breastfeeding

was so painful. He also had silent reflux, and would only sleep being held upright. Sleep deprivation led to postnatal depletion, and I had to surrender everything I loved, including my studies and my business, to survive. I had to learn to trust and surrender. But unlike my divorce 8 years earlier, which left me utterly heartbroken, this time I had spiritual guidance to know I would emerge stronger from this difficult time.

Phoenix turns two this month and like his name, I feel I have risen from the ashes and returned to wholeness.

I have a new website, have contributed to a new book titled “Awakening – Meet the women birthing a new earth”, and an online program called “Heartfulness”. I learned to make earrings to keep me sane in my moments of madness, and now there are women all over the world adorning themselves in these divine creations as a visual reminder to return to love.

I felt this was another chance to turn adversity into opportunity, which is my dharma, or life path. Not only that, but I had a sisterhood supporting me with their energy, and my inner light to guide me.

When Phoenix turned one, I studied to become a teacher of Intuitive Intelligence. I learned about the Hermetic laws of the Universe. We are as magnificent or as weak as we think. Our world is how we choose to see it. This means that, when we change our perception, we change our reality.

We are all one in the mind of God, because there is no you and I, only we. Our energy precedes our physical existence. This explains why stress and anxiety block our intuition, but bliss and joy can open up our consciousness. It is as if the universe is feeling itself through us. As within, so without, as above, so below.

I learned how to teach Intuitive Intelligence Tapping, also known as the Emotional Freedom Technique. I used this powerful modality on myself and tapped on my fears, the guilt, the shame, the failure, the sacrifice of motherhood, and the depletion.

I listen to divine chants while putting Phoenix to sleep, trying to hear the stillness amongst the chaos. I have replenished my depleted nervous system by teaching myself to sleep again. I have nourished my body with whole foods and detoxed from coffee and alcohol.

I have handed over my suffering to God, letting go of expectation. I no longer judge myself harshly, but surrender to the demands of love, not fear. I focus on what I can control, which is my energy, and I listen to my intuition. These are not easy disciplines, but the rewards are lifechanging.

Embodying these ancient laws has changed everything for me. My business is taking off again, and new opportunities are appearing in my inbox. I am being invited to speak on stages again about my theme of ‘Heartfulness’. My earring-making workshops are drawing in amazing women who are also seeking intuitive connection. I am a calmer and kinder mother, with a strong sense of purpose.

I feel part of a new awakening of the planet, one that focuses on compassion, connection, commitment, community, and contribution.

It’s not easy, raising a family and running a business. There are challenges, but they can be overcome. Our mind, heart, and intuition can show us the way. We have the whole Universe inside of us.

We are one.

Everything we desire is within.

Leonie Laukkanen

Leonie Laukkanen is an Intuitive Mentor, Teacher of the Intuitive Intelligence Method, Speaker, Podcaster, Author of the awardwinning international best selling book Mother Om and the creator of Luna Phoenix Designs.

For over 10 years Leonie has been teaching yogic principles, mindfulness, intuition, and the art of living life using the divine guidance from our heart’s intelligence. Leonie teaches spiritually awake women how to consciously co-create their life with the universe by guiding them to overcome fear and return to wholeness.

Her clients work with her to embark on a sacred journey to clear lifetimes of old beliefs and trauma so they can serve the planet from an empowered place, gracefully align with their soul’s calling, and live life with ease and grace.

Leonie lives in Brisbane, Australia with her husband and 3 young children.