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People’s Advocate “Locals supporting locals for over 60,000 years”

for sale $10 or Digital copy #


Oct 2020

Better late than never .. ha !


Halloween with ..

Local Legends The Garland family bring laughter and joy to the locals of Gove during Halloween. Story on Page 10

Women In Mining

Standing out in a testosterone-

What Grinds Your Gears? Offers you a platform to laugh or cry

GAFL Premiership

Gopu the 2020 Premiership winners

filled industry making a name for

at some pressing community matters

take home the trophy, what a sight

themselves. Jocelyn and Rhonda tell

and supports constructive feedback

to see! ‘Shark Bait’

their story.

that you may want to share.

More on Page 22

Read on Page 34

Story on Page 14

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WARNING: RATED (PG) PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS RECOMMENDED FOR CHILDREN UNDER 15 YEARS OF AGE Issue 1 has been downed like the worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle, I hear! and now you are here to back it up? Fan-bloody-tastic! because Issue 2 is probably going to be like a trip to the salon to get your a**hole waxed for the first time after covid shut downs! Aside, from that, Issue 2, is jam packed with community culture, so hold onto your hats because whether you hate me or love me, you will NOT be able to resist getting your hands on this publication! We acknowledge and celebrate East Arnhem Land, our dedicated locals, and show case the community we are all fortunate enough to call home.

As warned previously, this publication does lacks diplomacy, uses foul language, and drops the unspoken truth bomb or two, regarding the price paid, at times, of living in paradise. The uncensored section in the back is an opportunity for people to truth tell in a raw- thentic way. Yes, this is paradise, however, some are fed up and frustrated with continuously being on the receiving end of others unaccountability’s. So pull up that camp chair, crack a coldie, or kava bowl, spark up a scoob, whatever floats ya boat, either way immerse yourself in this, unorthodox literature and appreciate the incredibly raw perspective!

Want to know more? Ask a local ! 1800 MAR EVA (627 382) | mareva@mds247.com.au


3 | Local Feedback

17 | In the Bush


4 | Advertisements

18 | Kids’ Corner

6 | Ask a Local

20 | Advertisements

8 | History

21 | Gove Buff Club

9 | Dads and Daughters

22 | Women in Mining

10 | Garland’s Haunted House

24 | Cyclone checklist

38 | Workers & Wankers

12 | Nanna Eats

26 | What a Pearlar!

39 | Acknowledgements

13 | Nanna’s Garden

28 | Out & About

14 | GAFL Primiership

30 | Mental Health Expert

16 | Camping & Fishing

32 | Advertisements

34 | What Grinds your Gears? 35 | Business Boggle 36 | The Porthole

40 | Reviews

Local Feedback Thank you to all who contacted us and gave feedback regarding Issue 1, it was a bit of a test run to see what topics people want to see more or less of. It was great to hear people’s thoughts. Overall, the feedback was positive with a few constructive suggestions reported. There was a lot of positive feedback regarding the mental health page ‘A Cracked Coconut’ saying it was very educational and provided a better understanding to some who haven’t experienced mental health, the age old saying ‘Never judge a book’ was the most popular comment. As for the F bombs and other lingo used, that’s part of life, let’s be honest. This dialogue is relatable to our audience and you know what they say, someone who swears a lot is trustworthy.. as fuck! We do speak as though sitting around a table with mates, raw bits and all hoping that with us being so open and honest and realistic in our experiences then people will be more inclined to share theirs in that same way.

People can relate with our frustrations of knowing that this town does have some issues that unfortunately get continuously swept under the rug, we don’t sugar coat anything. We want people to know that this magazine is raw-thentic, no judgment here, so be as free as you like when you write in, even if you hate us, we want to hear it! We are always looking to improve and therefore have made some slight changes. We enjoy hearing your feedback, suggestions on any issue, the good, bad and ugly - that is what this whole magazine is about.


Mareva 1800 MAR EVA (627 382) | mareva@mds247.com.au 3


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Servicing all of East Arnhem Land

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Gove Peninsula Motel

contact details: 166 Matthew Flinders Way, Nhulunbuy NT 0880 Phone: +61 8 8987 0700 Email: govemotel@bigpond.com

Bec Hammet (General Manager)

SH BUILD 4410 • (08) 8988 .com.au

ild • admin@shbu

, , Humpty Doo • PO Box 2045 36 itory 08 Northern Terr


Ask a Local Need local information? mds247.com.au

1800 MAR EVA (627 382) 24/7 live answering service

Loco knowledge, Loco experience, Loco networks spanning generations!


The Peoples Advocate

@ mums_the_word_campaign

Mum’s the Word



History One of the options to travel to Gove is 4x4 driving, however back in the day it had some challenges. The Goyder River was renowned for testing people and their machines, especially during the wet season. The crossing today is a smoother ride but lacks character and does not have the hype of the original crossing, ultimately leading to many stories and memories being shared.


Now / 2020 8

Dads and Daughters Scotty is a local who had to leave due to raising his daughter Indie. Scotty is a single father who has part time care of his daughter Indie. Indie is 9 years old and loves spending time with her dad riding quads, baking, pigging and fishing. Indie wants to be a zookeeper when she grows up. When asked “What are the challenges in raising Indie” Scott’s response was time. As a result of co-parenting, it can sometimes be difficult to get time with Indie. Indie was telling us how all her friends see the fun that she has with her dad and they want to come to her place to play, ride the quad and hunt pigs. In life enough credit is not given to fathers, I know my father played an integral part in my life as a young girl, he taught me to be practical, independent, treat people how you would like to be treated, don’t’ be useless, do what makes you happy, and anything is possible.

“Treat people how you would like to be treated, don’t’ be useless, do what makes you happy, and anything is possible”

Got a story to share? 1800 MAR EVA (627 382) mareva@mds247.com.au


The Garland’s Haunted House Long term locals, Karen and Len have enjoyed Gove’s paradise for many years. Karen moved to Gove with her family back in 1972, & Len moved to Gove after getting a job with Nabalco in 1985. They have 3 children, Jenny & Laura who both reside in Gove, & Lizzy who resides in Melbourne & is currently experiencing lock down due to the corona virus outbreak in Melbourne. The Garlands have been transforming their breezeway into a haunted display for the past 20 years, but how did it all begin? The joys of having kids I guess you could say. One-year Laura & Lizzy got dressed up for a Halloween party, they had heaps of fun & Karen discovered that not many people really celebrated Halloween which lead to the seed being planted. The following year Karen decided she would dress up & set up a table with her cards & cauldron, handing out candy to those who visited. The kids enjoyed it & the family enjoyed putting a smile on people’s faces, Len decided (let’s go bigger) & the building began, cardboard boxes where the beginning to something grand. 20 years later & I can’t help but wonder if Len sometimes question his decision to build, going bigger & better every time, as the cardboard boxes have now turned into wood panels and months of preparation ahead for the big event. Thank you Laura & Lizzy, who would have thought that as a result of a party it would lead to many years of thrills, screams & many smiling & excited kids of all ages, even the big kids at heart.


How long does something like this take to plan? Couple of months most people would say, however, June is the beginning to many months of hard work, the pool table is taken from the breezeway out to the back patio where it now becomes Len’s work bench & the planning begins. The first decision is working out which way the path will lead from the entrance North or West, then planning the layout along with the grand design & preparations. Len is an electrician by trade but has had to learn a thing or to regarding carpentry as once the layout is planned Len assembles the walls & converts their breezeway into a maze. Whilst Len is busy building, constructing & wiring, Karen is busy putting her creativity into overdrive, she has a gift when it comes to detail, her designs & creativity really do leave you speechless, from paper mâché walls, to hand made mushrooms, sculptures & lanterns along with placements of each & every object really does create a spectacular sight. Len & Karen’s girls have also contributed to the mammoth task over the years, along with extended family who all join in to celebrate the event. It has also been great to see the Nhulunbuy Corporation support the event over the past few years, by blocking off the street for the safety of the children.

What would this little community do this Halloween if there was no haunted house? Covid nearly stopped the event from going ahead, but thankfully the Garlands where able to proceed with some adjustments having to be made. It really was an honour going through and seeing the blood, sweat and tears that goes into this work of art, I was lost for words as some pieces I honestly thought where store bought, only to discover it was handmade. Seeing the house during the day really does give you a sense of appreciation for all the hard work and creativity that goes into such a task to put a smile on people’s faces. Unfortunately, this year ended on a sad note with some of their prized possessions being stolen and vandalised, the Garlands don’t have to do what they do, they choose to, why? Purely for the people because they are community orientated people who like to make people smile. To those who think it is funny to do such a thing, keep in mind that you could ruin it for the rest of us who actual value and respect what they do, countless hours of hard Yakka just for the people of this little town we call home really does make the Garlands True Community Legends.

Story by Cassie 11

East Arnhem Eats

Nanna’s Kitchen Coconut Fish Curry


Steps to Make

01 Coconut Oil 02 Onion | diced Garlic, shallots, ginger, capsicum, cabbage, 03 Peas, Curry power to taste, coconut cream 04 Steamed rice and salt | to taste Fresh Spanish Mackerel | diced

Heat oil and fry fish, garlic, onion & all veggies Add curry powder and coconut cream Let simmer for 30 minutes Cook rice and serve !



Want to share your favourite recipe? Email to mareva@mds247.com.au. Please include good quality photos, ingredients and method

Nanna’s Garden Nanna’s Garden

Nanna’s Garden is more than just any garden. It is brimming with sentimental, and symbolic meaning in every-way. It emits a tantilising array of exotic scents, rich in cultural significance and visually embodies the tropics with a distinct Tahitian flavour and feel.

The banyan trees are culturally symbolic, and have a complex root system, which tells a story in itself but is similar to that of our local family structure. The coconut trees stand tall to provide shade, decorate many family celebrations, weave baskets, offer food, and act as a protective barrier from cyclonic weather. The banana, pawpaw and mango trees have provided thousands of children, grandchildren and extended family with tasty nutritious treats. There are many medicinal plants that have rich and natural healing properties. Nanna’s garden is also home to many other interesting finds from years of beach combing, such as her extensive collection of arafura sea rocks, shells, countless sea chimes, thong mobiles, iconic clam shells, timber canoes, which all rest on the sand or are housed under a canopy of many tropical flowers, including the frangipani, birds of paradise, hibiscus, tiare tahiti and more. Nanna’s garden is an extension of the land, which we were entrusted to care take by the traditional owners. It has provided a place for our families to come together and enjoy shelter. Food, medicine, cultural enlightenment, a place of gathering to celebrate significant life events. There has been a few animals raised in Nanna’s garden, however it is currently home to the famous“pigpig”. Nanna’s garden is a place that offers a calm therapeutic place to sit, play or just admire all the love and creativity.

Story by Mareva

Want to share your story? 1800 MAR EVA (627 382) mareva@mds247.com.au


63: 35


Congratulations Gopu! The 2020 GAFL Premiership Winners! Gopu have made it to the Grand final many times over the years, but this year they convincingly defeated their opposition Nguykal to take home the premiership cup and title. Tears of joy, cries from mothers, aunties and grandmothers for their sons, mixed with supporters vocals from the sidelines, indicated a magnificent win and very well deserved, as the full time siren rang out, the field was flooded with blue and white, go Gopu!

“Shark Bait� What a sight to see! Training all season and playing competitively, the players jumped for joy and collapsed from exhaustion, but all in all they are extremely proud and happy to have executed this game with professional sportsmanship and outstanding athleticism. From the Chef, Paul Braddock, backbone Binmila Yunipingu, Coaching staff Vernon and Jacko, trainers, supporters, family and friends, this was a team effort like no other. One proud community!




Want a quick way to ruin your boat trip, forget the bungs. The boat is no good to you if it starts filling up with water and now, you’re frantically firing up the bilge pump, bailing the water wondering if you’ve paid the last fucking insurance bill, which takes your mind off possibly having to swim with the crocs. Who has a bunger of a story they want to share?


This definitely isn’t fun but is common and somewhat comical, if it’s not you that is. Sitting in the boat, cracked a coldie and you cast your lurer only for it to come flying back at ya like a missile and KAAPOW! Now the hook is your latest accessory and you think jumping around the boat, screaming ya tits off is going to help get the thing out! Well that definitely wasn’t part of the plan. Who’s got a graphic hook-up they want to share? Got a story to share? 1800 MAR EVA (627 382) mareva@mds247.com.au


THE NOT SO FUN TIMES IN THE BUSH The bog roll. How many people have been busting for a shit out camping and you run to the car only to discover you left the bog roll at home. Well... shit just got real! Plan B. You’ve got 3 choices.. Shit yourself, aqua bog or find some fucking leaves. Camping 101. Always double, triple check the bog roll.

A Different type of Bog..

Smoked Out

If your ever in charge of stocking the fire, don’t let it die completely especially when everyone else is blowing zzzzzz, because if you make the rookie error and grab green foliage it creates a smoke bomb, now the entire camp is choking and your bound to have some very unhappy campers. 17

Kids’ Corner: Halloween Edition Jackson

“I like the haunted house because you get lollies and its lots of fun. I like all the decorations and everyone’s dress ups. I would feel sad if there was no more haunted house.”

Riley & Blake

“I go to the haunted house because it is fun, and we go there every year. I like the end part because you get lollies, and everybody is happy. I like how it is different every year, its not just the same thing. I would be sad if there was no haunted house because it’s what everyone sees every year and lots of people go there. Halloween wouldn’t be the same because it’s like a big party every year on my mum’s birthday. The haunted house is kind of scary, its funny watching people get scared and scream. I like to scar people. I would be a little bit sad if there was no haunted house because Halloween would not be fun.


Chloe and Dean

“The haunted house has blown us away every year and we are thankful to the family who do this for the community. It is one of those things that if it didn’t happen Halloween wouldn’t be fun. The family are very nice and let us pretend to be props and scare people. Halloween would be boring without the Haunted House.”

$25 voucher sponsored by: WIN A PRIZE ! Answer this question!

Who’s behind the mask? Send your best guess to mareva@mds247.com.au!











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1800 MAR EVA (627 382) 1 Franklin St Nhulunbuy, NT 0881 mds247.com.au/gove-buff-club/


Women in Mining My name is Jocelyn. I’m 26 years old and I’m a Trainee Driller doing Surface Blast Drilling at BMA Peak Down Coal Mine in QLD. I have been in the mining/ construction industry for over 5 years. At the age of 18, I got a Scholarship doing Cert 3 in Business Administration. I got a job as a Sales Executive selling cars in Darwin. I wanted to do something different and got an opportunity to do Mining & Construction Program at Charles Darwin University. Obtaining my Dogmen’s, Forklift, EWP Working at Heights and White Card.

I started driving buses at Itchys Onshore LNG Project in Darwin and worked on the project for 3 years. After the project came to an end, I moved down to Melbourne and lived there for 2 years. I got the opportunity to be trained as a Drillers Assistant with Acciona Geotech. I worked on major projects such as Metro Tunnel Project, Westgate Tunnel Project, Level- Crossing Railway Project. In Feb 2020, myself and other workers got made redundant due to covid-19. I left Melbourne and moved to Brisbane to find work. While I was searching for work, I completed a Certificate 3 in Civil Construction Plant Operations at D.A.T.S obtaining tickets such a Skid Steer, Excavator, Front End Loader. In July, I got the opportunity to become a Trainee Driller at the BMA Coal Mine doing FIFO.I love working in this industry because every day is different with a new challenge to face and you get to meet new people. There is always an opportunity to grow in this industry.


RHONDA My name is Rhonda & I started my career at the Vist Pulp Mill in the Blue Mountains in a small town called Tumutt. I was a single mother of 4 & was 24 yrs old at the time, when I lost everything, my house, job & couldn’t afford to look after the kids, I was pretty much homeless & found myself falling into a bad crowd of people. I packed up my car with the kids and drove over to Victoria to the kids father, stayed there with him for a couple of weeks & we made an agreement that he have the kids so I could go away to work, clean myself up & get my shit together. That’s when I went to my mums in Tumutt, picking apples & went to night school. I went to the shop & there was a job on the board advertising for a TA & Peggy, mum & I applied for it and she got a storeman’s job, I ended up being a TA to the scaffold crew, I emptied and stacked scaff all night from the skip bins that the crane would drop off. The old crane driver Jim was his name, we got talking one night & told me to jump in the franna & he would teach me, he then taught me how to use a crawler, he ended up leaving. I then got to learn from the boiler makers and riggers, they would get up in the ewps and dog box and started teaching me about rigging. The boss then put me through my dog mans franna and ewp tickets, along with learning how to weld. The hardest part for me was that I was a woman and there was no woman in the construction industry, it was good they treated me with respect, I was there for two years.

The site was shut down for a week, then the union forced them to reopen and let me on site, my boss refused to put a male in the seat, he was great. After getting back on my feet and sorting myself out, I set up a house and got the kids back and mum moved in and looked after the kids, then I moved into demo and pulled the old Adelaide Police Station down in a old wobbly 90t pin, then did my tower crane on that site in a 500t favco. I then moved into mining in Roxby Downs for 6 years moved to Kalgoorlie for 5 years, then Pilbara. I’ve been in the industry for about 20 years now, crane rigging, truck driving, construction tilt panels for a few years and demolition, stage rigging for a few years travelling around doing concerts. I’ve only ever met 3 other women crane operators, my advice to woman is that it is a very heavy, physical, demanding job and can be quite mentally challenging. Stand strong and be confident, some men will still try to be dominant over you. It takes years to learn these skills and the day your not learning something within your job as a rigger crane driver is the day you step down, you never rig something the same there’s always something slightly different and everyone has their own style, as a crane operator if you don’t know the meaning of “catch a load” get out and get another job.

The worst part was being away from the kids, but I was bettering myself and had to get my life sorted. My kid’s dad and I had a really good relationship which helped a lot, he brought them up a couple of times for holidays. Being a woman I use to get blocked at construction site gates, I took a crane to a site once and the site was shut down due to a protest because woman weren’t allowed on their site, it was massive.

“Stand strong and be confident” 23

Cyclone Season The Northern Territory is naturally prone to tropical cyclone events, with two to three cyclones affecting the region between cyclone season which begins 1st November to 30th April. East Arnhem Land has had its fair shares of close calls when it comes to cyclones, with some of those cyclones affecting the region. Now I know many of you locals enjoy a cyclone party or two but lets be serious, its always best to be prepared, after all cyclone season has officially started, so why wait till the warning comes out before you act, it’s only going to result with you freaking out and panic buying. Be Smart, Be Prepared. 1800 MAR EVA (627 382)


Emergency Cyclone Checklist

Long 136.738 | Lat -12.55 (spare batteries)

Strong and sealable plastic bags (for clothing, valuables, documents & photographs)

(Torch, candles and lighter)

(spare battery and charger) (Manual with any essential medicines that may not be found in a basic kit) (Copy of household plan) (enought for each member. Wind and waterproof, hats, leather gloves, strong protective closed-in shoes)

(dried and canned – label cans and don’t forget the can opener!) (three days plus) (Toilet paper and essential toiletries, including sunscreen) 10 litres of bottled water pp for 3days+ (food, formula, nappies, toys, walker)

(if using gas remember to have spare canisters or bottles) (Cash, inc. change for phone calls)

Cooking and eating equipment and utensils (birth & marriage certificates, driver’s licence, passports, insurance policies and photos)


What a Pearlar!

I found out about the pearl farm from a charter boat I used to work on, that did crew transfers just before the Pearly bought a mother ship. We worked a 13 day on and 1 day off roster, was allowed 6 beers every second Saturday, followed by a day off on Sunday, which we spent most of time fishing, diving, exploring and just resting.


They had a crew of anywhere from 20 to 25, then over harvest once a year we would have around 30-35 people (mostly backpackers) dirtiest work I’ve ever done haha, but what made us stay were the crew and friendships we made. All food was supplied (lunch, breakfast, and dinner).

The rosters where completely up to the worker whether they wanted to do 6 weeks on and 2 weeks off or up to 26 weeks on and maybe 4 weeks off if we had the manning. The rooms weren’t that flash at start (just a bed and concrete floor) the longer we were there, we would deck it out over the years, (Fully carpeted floor with a couch we made out of pallets and couple of shelves for clothes).

I would go back in a heartbeat if all the boys were still out there, waking up to some of the best sunrises and sunsets I’ve ever seen overlooking the water from our front door step.

“It was the best place!”

Honestly the best place I have and I reckon I will ever work. I enjoyed it so much. My journey started when I first moved here 7 yrs ago. Jhyle was working on the charter boat and I met Josh at the pub little did we know we grew up less then 40 minutes from each other in NSW, probably played or watched each other play footy growing up. Within a month or so Josh was heading out there and he got me keen and the next crew changed so I was on my way out there as well. After about a month or so Jhyle was there as well haha. First day I remember getting there and having to unload the stores and taking them in and up to the kitchen loading everything onto this old crappy Hilux. Got to my room with nothing in it and not really knowing anyone out there it was pretty daunting. Second day I was on a cleaning boat and it was pissing down rain, never worked on a boat or anything in my life, I didn’t know what I was in for haha, work was hard but made easy with the outlook we had every day from sun up to sun down. Meeting people from all around the world, different cultures coming together in literally the middle of nowhere in Australia. You couldn’t try and pretend to be anyone you weren’t because you would spend every minute with everyone except when sleeping haha. The days went by quick and drinks night come around even quicker followed by your hangover day off on the Sunday. Hungover from 6 beers haha the longest I spent out there with no break was 26 weeks. From working out at the gym to fishing in the little tinny walking the beaches and exploring we had the best life out there, I never thought I would leave.

After about 6 months I became a diver and started that whole side of pearling which made me not want to ever leave even more. Seeing some of the craziest things ever in my life while diving, from big sharks to hugggee fish and working under water for over 2 hours at some stages and also diving to depths of 20-30 m to work, I thought it was unreal. I fell in love with the water and ocean, made some of my best mates out there and unforgettable memories. I wish I was still there today. There’s endless amounts of stories we have and could tell.


Out and About



sq 97,000 | Area: 0 0 ,0 6 :1

nhem East Ar

opulati Land P


Have a photo you’d like to share ? Email us at mareva@mds247.com.au



My role as a Community Mental Health Nurse often takes me into the remotest areas of Australia, this week I was to visit an Aboriginal community in East Arnhem Land. I was accompanied by an Aboriginal mental health worker and we were there to ensure that the mental health care for people living in the community was of the necessary standard for all Australians. One of the purposes of any visit we undertake to a remote Aboriginal Community is to assess any new referrals to the service, which mainly come from the permanent General Practitioner (GP) who works in the community and the local police. Another common responsibility is to work closely with the families of our clients to help them cope with their children, auntie or uncle living with mental illness. In the Aboriginal culture, it’s the aunties, uncles and grandmothers who are part of the care plan for an individual who is sick or needs care. So, it’s very important to involve the grandmother more than the mother when discussing the care of a person.


It’s important to highlight at this point that a good deal of this work is based on the help Aboriginal Health Workers provide us. Due to the cultural belief system (and especially because I’m a white middle-aged man), I can’t just stroll into people’s houses and start a conversation with someone. One needs to be introduced in the proper manner. I am a visitor into this community and I need a local person to help me break down the cultural barriers and assist in the locating and introducing me to Aboriginal clients. Many people make up a remote workforce, but that doesn’t determine how much face to face work can actually be accomplished. Broken down cars, people on sick leave, deaths in the community, not enough drivers, too many specialists visiting the community and lack of accommodation need to be taken into consideration – characteristics of the job that aren’t considered in a big city.

“It can be very tiring and Christopher Veal

emotionally draining ”

It’s also worth mentioning that it’s not just the mental health of community members that matters – remote staff members also need a helping hand. Some of them can be in the community for two months straight and be on-call three times a week. It can be very tiring and emotionally draining, and it’s a lonely place to work sometimes. An informal chat that helps the community health worker feel wanted and essential can go a long way in the running and wellbeing of the clinic. Another challenge of working remotely in any Aboriginal Community is coping with the level of autonomy that you are provided with. It takes a lot of experience to be given the opportunity to work as a solo Practitioner in places far removed from other towns.

When I first started working remotely, I worked as a Primary Care Nurse in Aboriginal Communities in the early 1990s. During that time, there was a solo phone line to a tertiary health centre if you needed advice, assistance or to organise a person to be flown out of that community to receive more care. Even today, many of these places are just as remote, but thanks to advancements in technology, however, delivery of care has improved significantly.



VIC HALL 10 Miller Close, NHULUNBUY 0427860824 / 61(08) 8987 3020 32 info@nhulunbuysmashrepairs.com.au

S E T A R PI Y L ON 33

What Grinds your Gears? Trash left at the beaches Kristen

It drives me nuts when you go to the beaches around town and see rubbish left behind because people just don’t care and don’t take their crap with them. How hard is it people? If you bring food and drinks to the beach take your rubbish home with you, its not that fucking hard. How many children have been hurt because of broken glass bottles? How many people have cleaned up rubbish off the beach that wasn’t even theirs? If you can go to the effort to bring the shit with you, then use the same initiative to take the shit home.

Dogs let loose around campgrounds. Anonymous

One thing that really grinds my gears is people being irresponsible with their dogs around camp sites, just because your camping at one site, doesn’t give you the right to allow your dogs to run free and bail up people at other camping grounds. One day we were having a family day at one of the local swimming holes when all of sudden one of our children was being chased by a dog, thankfully our child was close by and was able to get to safety but then the dog proceeded to try and bail up another child. This dog wasn’t friendly, it was showing the classic aggression signs, growling, hackles up and acting very timid. It was extremely uncomfortable to the point that we ended up packing up and leaving earlier than planned because it just wouldn’t piss off. Are there any rules surrounding this? If you take your dog camping and you know very well that your dog isn’t friendly, then control the fucking thing and keep it contained, regardless of the nature of the dog it is just common sense and courteous to not allow your dog to run free to other camp sites where other people maybe. Not everybody likes dogs. Who do we contact regarding this kind incident? I made some phone calls only to be told that this needs to be addressed with the Permit Distributor and had no luck with communicating to them, given the severity of what could have happened, what would have been the outcome if a child got mauled?


Isle Talkers & Hogs Anonymous

What pisses me off more then anything is going to do my shopping and I’m always having to ask people to move because there are people having a gasbag in the isle. I normally ask politely if the people could move if they are in the way, but, what happens when you ask politely and you are totally ignored, shun or nothing happens, is one excused for his/her behaviour when one yells to the chatterboxes “Fucking move and take your chat elsewhere” is this acceptable? It seems this has become quite a problem lately to the point that people are no longer asking for people to move because they are fed up with dealing with this on a regular basis, so please isle hoggers take note, ya wanna chat take it to the back of the store or better yet go outside, otherwise if you feel you must have a chat stand to the side and not hogg the isle and most importantly when asked to move, Fucking MOVE!

Businesss Boggle Having to even address this makes my mental health escalate! If you have not heard already, we are in the wake of a pandemic. Businesses have been adversely affected and are apparently entitled to support from multiple avenues. Champagne showers mother fuckers! Not where were sitting?! It has taken us 8 months, 4 public staff, 3 consultants to waste our time, resources, and money to fill in application upon application only to receive fuck all in return?! I remain confused! If it is not the organisation’s hoop jumping blocking us, it is the landlord or other third parties on the ground too

spineless to do their jobs. The last meeting about a meeting they held for us, they asked how they could help, oh lordy Jesus, what was I to say? So many things....however, I said I need three staff and a suitcase full of cash if this is not achievable do not come back. Sooo, they hand-balled us to another person and she was told the same! However, they remain persistent in trying to get us to invest $2,000 so they can give us $4,000? I should send them an invoice for wasting our time! and so here we are STILL on the business funding/ grant roundabout with no resolve!

which is brimming with cigarette ash and laps over your thongs, you’ll want to disinfect for a month, not to mention if you don’t get intimidated by the usual hum bug and passed out drunks at the front door you have officially passed your town square induction to Nhulunbuy central – how proud we all are of our town centre!

Tourism & Town Square Word on the street is that Tourism is our next big bread winner for the region, well if that’s the case we are all up shit creek without a paddle, because this joint is a fucking shame job! Tidy town award, are you fucking joking me? I know why the drone footage was taken and not on the ground photos, so you can’t see or smell the filth! Let me explain.... As many small businesses we must adhere to strict COVID measures inside our businesses and outlay $$$ to implement government compliance. Why and how is it that the main square is an absolute shit sty and extremely unhygienic! The look is drab, smell is putrid, the mould unsightly and passed out drunks are just disgraceful, all before 8pm, mind you! So, if businesses are required to be COVID compliant inside, then why are the governing bodies who are responsible for public health and safety under the legislation, not being held accountable for compliance outside? Imagine for a minute you are a naive, enthusiastic tourist from inner Sydney, Melbourne or Perth, fresh out of your quarantine bubble, and you go to down town woollies on a Thursday night at around 7pm.....Jesus, what a shock to the system?! Take a whiff, you’ll probably dry reach, look closely at the windows where the slag has attracted the dust, you’ll want to hurl, walk through the water in your trendy havianas,

Would hate to have small kids who touch the railings, mouldy windows and stand in the urine and cigarette ash puddles, I mean what do parents of small children think? This has got to be a concern amongst new parents! Would you have visitors over with your own house looking like this? NO! A lot of us pay outrageous rates in this town, which makes up approx. $2M of governing bodies $20M revenue, and I am sure those funds could contribute to the clean- up of this, because if a small local business like MDS247 did this for free back in March then it is possible for you to pull your finger out now! Or hey here is an idea, engage locals to do it again! Lift your game! We as business owners have to adhere to COVID measures on the inside and out of our businesses, as well as Australian Safety Standards, how come you negligent fucks can leave this place looking like this? Un-fucking- believable! Why don’t you all get together and sort it out because this is the main town square where all the tourists will come every day and it is woeful, the concrete, buildings and windows need pressure blasting, they’re beyond being washed, as well as sanitization of railings, doors etc and security needs to be employed to prevent loitering. It is not that hard to part with our pennies, you bean counters! The workmen who maintain town square do an awesome job in trying to keep the place as clean as possible, but their hard work is shadowed by ‘wankers’ at the top, they can only do so much! So shout out to the fellas busting their arses to make this town look half reasonable you fellas do a fantastic job, however, town square is well and truly overdue on an extreme deep clean and overhaul – if you are serious about attracting tourism!


The Porthole Porthole - the opening for firing a cannon through

Fake Fuck Face Brigade

As a business owner and a long term local, I often become comically frustrated, with the FFFB in this community, but usually I manage to, take an extra pill that day, mask it with laughter and somehow keep my shit together! As stated in issue 1 I find it hard to beat around the bush especially when anyone is negatively impacted, time after time, directly from actions of the FFFB. As you know being a local there is a toxic web that has long been weaved in our East Arnhem Land community, and it has been allowed to fester due to our isolation and lack of accountability mechanisms in place.

It is amazing what gets back to you in this town, I question why at times, but non the less I think it is great how loyal people are to quickly report the good, bad and ugly, not only to or about me personally but about my business, my husband, my family and very close friends. Jealously, I find is usually the root cause of the rumour mill people are not innovative enough, smart enough or simply cannot work out why we have the loyalty of so many. For one, we have been here a long time and helped a lot of people and their families, that is just the start!

Living here is sometimes like being a fly minding its own business buzzing around the place, then WHAM, you are in the web and surrounded by the FFFB, BOOM they gotcha! The first time this happens in your life, it could take you years to get out of the toxic friendship, or relationship, the second time, maybe months then the third, only weeks or days. You become very aware of who is who in the zoo and how to join the dots of the different networks that exist in this community. This helps to avoid being Mr or Mrs fly caught in the web! A friend of mine once told me, you sometimes you have to make the FFFB your ‘frenemies’, smile, nod, agree etc until you erect the necessary boundaries to protect your wellbeing, family and livelihood.

People probably wonder why I write the things I do, plain and simple it is for therapeutic reasons because if I do not say them my head will pop off and roll down the street with some of the bullshit that happens to us in this town, and I sincerely hope that I empower people to say what they have never been able to say before. When the so called experts tried to kill me a couple of times and I turned 40, I well and truly threw out the remains of my filter and now have no more fucks to give - ever, I firmly believe that life is too short to pretend and be fake, or be a shit cunt, so don’t be afraid to shine, don’t be an institutionalised robot, speak your mind, stop living in fear of judgement and be happier for it.

I personally, prefer not take her advice and if I do not respond or speak to you that’s a sure indicator, I have caught you out downing someone in my circle and could not be fucked with acknowledging your existence. As the saying goes, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it, also applies if you don’t know all the FACTS then I suggest you keep your trap shut, – unless you’re me of course and you own the local magazine, then you can say what you like! Also don’t be a fake shit cunt. Ha, ha!


Anyway, curious about how you make the FFFB list, well let me enlighten you like the priest taking your confession at Sunday mass; You must; Accept large amounts of local sponsorship funds and contributions, then never acknowledging your sponsors, unprofessional, rude and deceitful. Be an ego driven, self-serving individual or group who appears to act on the behalf of others, initially, but in the end only benefits ones self, eg: running fund raisers to lift own community profile.

Holding very poor value for money in a service you offer, eg: producing shit quality products for triple the price, especially when you received free funding or other grant money to assist your supposed cause and sustain economic growth in the region using other companies to further your own business, trying to destroy their reputation, then having the audacity to bad mouth that business to other entities and members of the public, purely for your own greed. A piece of advice, have a face to face conversation, say you fucked up or is this true etc, rather than being spineless and have unnecessary information travel the GGG (Gove Gossip Grapevine), it could come back to haunt you. Whilst you sit within your FFFB and you think it is grand, The Peoples Advocate is gathering momentum and a loyal empire as we speak, so a word of warning, be careful who you trust, and tell your secrets to, because you’re nearest and so called dearest may just happen to be the ones to expose you. They may have worked beside you for years, could be your local barrister, your dearest friend, your local shopkeeper, your teacher aide, your general manager, committee member or project officer just to name a few. You too have ‘frenemies’. Remember people, knowing and never forgetting who is who in this god dam zoo we call home – that is the number one lesson you need to learn, it will ensure your survival in this place. It amuses me because people like to try and forget who’s sack they’ve sucked, who’s dick has been in who’s arse and who’s asshole they’ve willingly or unwillingly licked to get what they have or get to where they are today! Cos let’s face it from the many old slops left over from the key club of gove to the girls of paradise, there is still this ‘who is fucking who’ going on but just in a more covert fashion now-a-days. It has become apparent that people who are in the FFFB,

move in the so called ‘purple’ circles or share in the monopolies are deluded to think that their position on a committee or their bank balance places them a notch above everyone else and they can somehow treat a person less of a human being. Hate to burst ya bubble, it does not, the only status you hold is perceived by one’s imagination. In the real word, work ethic and valuing people is key, if you are perceived as unethical and your workmanship is not 100% people go to the competition and chances are your business struggles. However, in East Arnhem Land, due to the lack of accountability bubble, around everyday general business principals, practices and standards, people here are blinded by ignorance, greed and fail to comply with basic legislative requirements. I have noticed though as long as they appear to have it all together on the surface, then they think they are safe.

Mareva Cook

Want to launch your cannon on politics? Email us at mareva@mds247.com.au





Ever wondered which you may be?

Back by popular demand! Community feedback thus far has indicated that there is quite a lot of people who are bashing their heads against a brick wall when it comes to having to deal with wankers in the workplace. The number one frustration we are hearing is that a lot of the wankers don’t seem to recognise that they are the wanker, and continue to blame everyone around them, this is a key indicator that you are a wanker by the way! Meanwhile the workers know exactly where they stand. So here we are!! The biggest gripe amongst the workers when it comes to the wankers is the excessive micromanaging. Generally, those who micromanage don’t have any idea on how to manage themselves, let alone a crew, staff or business. So to distract the workers, micromanaging is a key play from a workplace wanker that they are incompetent to perform their own responsibilities and duties, so they have to

Send in your toxic workplace stories to mareva@mds247.com.au


focus on you, obsessively. Back in the day when a worker crossed paths with a wanker, they would invite them around the back or out the front for a good old fashioned fisty cuffs, box on, sort the shit, and move on – best solution yet I reckon! Who would prefer to deal with matters in the workplace this way?? I mean that is what we do to our kids isn’t it, flog them and move on, everyone’s sorted! Community members have expressed that wankers seem to think because they have deep pockets and rub shoulders with certain circles, they are untouchable, and as a result treat workers, in a negligent manner. If you are having any workplace concerns, contact fair work, the union or if you need an advocate give us a buzz. Do not let wankers of the workplace negatively impact your mental health, personal or work life.

Acknowledgements Congratulations, you have officially survived the re-birth of your perspective, from a Bipolar point of view. Humour is a coping mechanism that I use to manage life’s frustrations, so I demand change and this cannot be achieved alone. When I embarked on this project I knew I needed to get creative to convey matters to the public, however, I also remain real. Consequently, I had to set out on a new course and allow my moral compass to take the helm. Feel free to jump on board and support, the choice is all yours! Sponsors are always welcome!

In closing, I would like to sincerely thank everyone who has contributed and supported The People’s Advocate through the birth canal of creativity and blessed it with life. It is something I am extremely proud of. To my biggest fan and dear husband, Daniel Cook, I love you. A special mention to some people that make me look good from behind the scenes, I could not have completed this alone, Cassie, Luisa, Jade and the rest of the MDS team and our faithful supporters. I appreciate it and love you all.

- Mareva J Cook

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East Arnhem locals | Ask a local

Jocelyn & Rhonda | Women In Mining

Scotty and Indie | Dads & Daughters

MDS247 | Cyclone Prep

The Garlands | Halloween

Concerned Locals | Community Safety

Nanna aka Linda Pearse | Recipe & Garden

Jhyle & Rayne | Pearls

Gopu & my Gumatj Family | Premiership

Christopher Veal | Mental Health

Cassie | Article

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The People's Advocate | Issue 2